Awards Night
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Awards Evening free porn video
Awards Evening.
By Tanya H.
"Mum. I am proper shitting myself."
That made me look, sharply - whiplash fastI The first time she'd used
sworn in front of me, but in the context of a year of firsts I supposed
that wasn't too bad; not as impactive as when I'd first seen her in a
dress!
So I found her a smile, reached out across the car and squeezed her
hand - was that a faint tremble? "I'd be surprised if you weren't,
honey."
"I know." She stared fixedly through the windscreen at the row of cars
in front. Having arrived as late as was possible, without actually
being late, we were in an overflow car park on the school's playing
fields. From the amount of cars it was going to be a packed event -
from the rain we'd had the last few days I knew the grass would make my
heels inelegant.
"We don't have to go in, we can go - get a curry or something, watch a
film." We'd done that quite a lot since my husband had left us.
"I'm not hiding any more." There was grit in her words - steel. Over
the last few months I'd heard her voice broken by sobs, rage, weeping
so it was good to hear something of the old Lexia's determination
coming back.
"Let's do it then. Right now, okay?"
She nodded. Her ponytail bounced; she'd tied with a red ribbon high on
the back of her head. I'd always thought she'd kept her hair long as an
affectation, but seeing the deft way she could conjure up a wonderfully
symmetrical plait showed how long she must have been practising - all
alone.
We slammed our doors in unison, like this was the scene from a musical
and we would break into song as we skipped over the grass. Fat chance,
I couldn't think back to a time when I'd been more frightened - maybe
when the contractions had started and I realised I was actually on the
verge of having a baby.
Hand in hand we approached the main entrance. A few more stragglers
went in before us, but what gripped my attention were the three girls
waiting there, leaning casually on the handrail. I knew them all and
all of them had blanked me in town lately. Lexie stiffened.
"Hattie!" said the tallest girl, a rangy, athletic blonde - queen of
the sports field. "Didn't think you'd show." Her tone was empty. One of
the other girls snickered and was shushed.
Lexia kept walking. From the corner of my eye I watched her - head up,
lips pressed together.
"Hi, Elise," she said, voice tight.
Unsure of what to expect, I tried to watch all the girls at once.
Surely they wouldn't do anything stupid here? None of them were like
that, maybe; especially Elise. God knew she'd spent enough time under
my roof, eating at my table, moaning under the covers of Lexia's bed.
"Like your top," said Elise, voice taut. Then she turned and almost ran
into the school. I suppose it was hard for her too. Her mates frowned,
muttered helloes and then vanished after her.
We followed the hubbub of conversation into the main hall - it was
heaving. There were only minutes left until the ceremony was due to
start and we both halted in the entrance as the enormity of what were
doing finally hit home. One thing to talk, to plan, to steel ourselves
for this - something else to walk into it.
Miss Vogel, the Headteacher, looked vipers at us over her glasses, but
didn't do any more to acknowledge us - after the years I'd spent on the
board of Governors too. Miserable cow. "I don't think it's appropriate
to bring him," she'd said when we'd spoken last. "That will be Lexia's
decision," I'd replied - firmly. "Not yours."
"I have to sit over there," Lexie said, nodding towards the benches at
the front of the hall, right before the stage. Most of the kids there
were uniformed in black, but last year's leavers, Lexia's classmates,
were casually bright. There was a gap beside Elise where Lexie was
meant to sit.
For a moment I thought she was going to walk out, many eyes were fixed
on us and her feet seemed light on the floor.
"Fuck it," she said, kissed my cheek and stepped off, past the knot of
teachers with organiser's clipboards, and looked neither left nor right
until she was seated. People stared, children, staff and parents alike.
I heard whispers, but that might have been my own paranoia fabricating
more hostility for both of us. With good reason - people I'd known for
many years, family included, couldn't bring themselves to do any more
than glare our way now.
"Lisa!"
I turned from Lexie at my name. A man waved from the press of people
filling the tiers of seats behind the pupil's benches. He was two or
three rows back and my heart thudded stupidly against my ribs. Phil!
What was he doing here? He waved again, in case I hadn't seen him - in
case it was the mass of folk around him that meant I was struggling to
see him and not that he had called me a fucking bitch while blaming me
for Lexia. "Turned his fucking head, you have. All this girly shit
around the house, all the make up you wear, the bloody clothes and
fucking shoes you waste your money on."
It had been about four months since I'd seen my husband last. What the
hell was he doing here?
"I saved you a seat," he yelled through the noise. He had a good
yelling voice, from coaching the kids in all his football squads. I
turned, in case Lexia had seen him, but she was sitting still and tall
- like a prisoner waiting for the firing squad. Elise had angled
herself away from her. Lexia seemed so alone I wanted to go and throw
my arms around her, to lead her outside and away to somewhere where
nobody would judge.
There wasn't another seat though, I scanned the rows hopefully so I
wouldn't have to endure Phil again. Then I saw Andrea, her golden curls
were unmistakable, as was the look of disdain she sent my way. I could
almost imagine the poison seeping onto her lips - my own sister too.
"You've made things very difficult for me," she'd whined. Like I'd done
it, like all the crosswired genes were my fault. Like Phil had nothing
to do with the conceiving of our daughter.
I ignored her. But without the seat beside Phil I would have to stand
down the side and probably wouldn't see and that was why I'd come, to
see my daughter and be seen with her; to lend my strength to hers.
A touch on my arm. There was a petite woman there beside me, birdlike -
looking too fragile to be a teacher. One of the PE staff was beside her
- a triangular ingot of a man who had given Lexia her love for hockey
and running. You couldn't have imagined a more unlikely couple, but
they had been married almost a year now.
"Mrs Hatton," she said, her voice as small as her body, though she had
a fearsome reputation as a maths teacher. Lexia had always possessed a
natural talent for numbers, but Paula Jenkins here had made it shine.
"I'm so glad you came, I'm so glad Lexia is here. She looks amazing."
"How is she?" asked her husband. There was a respectable number of
trophies in the school collection Lexia had won for them. Maybe that
did count for something, even now.
"Every day is a new day," I said. My voice trembled, like I was going
to cry - again.
I excused myself and with nothing else to do I climbed the tiers until
I was beside my husband - my estranged husband. There was an eager,
puppyish look about him and I wondered again what he was doing here -
was he going to make more trouble? He'd once threatened me with an
injunction if I didn't stop Lexia taking her hormones.
"What are you doing here?" I snapped, in a hoarse whisper as I sat. The
seat was hard and uncomfortable, too low for my short skirt and high
heels, but i'd had to hurry from work.
"That's a reasonable question," he admitted.
"Thanks," I said heavily.
He sighed. "Look, I deserve... no, you deserve.... Alex deserves - "
"Lexia," I corrected. "Alexia if you must, but she prefer Lexia."
"I wanted to see... her. To see you."
After everything he'd said, after everything he'd done, and hadn't
done, he wanted to see her now!
"I've been thinking," he admitted.
"You should have done that last year when she needed you!" I
practically snarled.
"It's not easy!"
"No it wasn't and it isn't and you made it worse."
Miss Vogel's behemoth voice cut through the chatter in the hall and
silence fell. She started into her speech, the crafted words about
achievement and success, hard work and teamwork that went into a good
school, her good school - all epitomised by the students lined up
before her. I almost expected her to point a withered, accusing finger
Lexia's way and bellow, "But not him!"
"I brought her a present," Phil whispered, right into my ear. Too
close; he'd given up the right to be that close to my body right after
he'd disowned the child we'd made and brought up together. It may have
been imagination, but I thought he'd stressed the pronoun wrong, being
sarcastic or something. Plenty of people had twisted the word, "her"
like that when referring to my daughter. Andrea had been the worst. My
own bloody sister!
He tugged my sleeve, until I looked down. There was a jewellery box in
his hand, opened to show a pair of pearl stud earrings with their posts
pushed into a velvet pad. I knew Lexia wouldn't wear them, a bit too
twee for her, but they were the sort of thing he'd once bought for me
and for the first time in a long time my husband had surprised me.
Then Miss Vogel's words took me again. How often had I sat in this hall
and listened to her on presentation evenings like this, when my pride
had swelled with the prizes and awards Lexia had earned; maths,
football, science, athletics - they'd had such high hopes for her until
I'd let her thrown them away. Like I'd helped her because it was easy!
As if your child confessing through such heartfelt tears that they
should have been born a girl was something you could just put aside and
forget.
Like her child's happiness wasn't at the core of everything a mother
did.
But Mrs Nasty Vogel couldn't stop what was about to happen, couldn't
change it - not when Lexia had made up her mind and once she'd made
that decision what could I do but come along to support her - to be the
one loving face in the crowd.
"This year," Miss Vogel said, and her face suggested she might have
been sitting in a bag of sick, "As I hand out the first of our prizes
to our leavers, we must recognise the bravery of one recipient and
acknowledge the services, support and inspiration given by both during
their time here in our school. Head Boy and Head Girl for 2017, Alex
Hatton and Elise Minting."
My throat almost closed up when Lexia stood and she did look amazing in
a graceful linen top and flowing culottes. Again, she looked neither
left nor right as she mounted the stage with Elise close behind. My
heart stopped for a moment as Elise reached up and caught Lexia's
wrist, I imagined her pulling Lexia back - pushing her from the stage
as though she wasn't fit to be there.
For a moment the two girls, who had once been best friends and lovers,
stared hard into one another. The hall was silent, tense. I had my hand
over my mouth and only an unspeakable tension in my legs kept me in my
seat and not rushing down to stand beside her.
Then Elise nodded. Still holding Lexia's hand she stepped forward,
making my daughter follow and side by side, hand in hand, the girls
went forward to get their prizes from the stone-faced headteacher.
That heavy silence lasted only a heartbeat longer as I wept. Then
somebody started clapping, from right beside me - a heavy, carrying
clap that had praised junior footballers in all weathers across the
county. Then Phil wasn't alone, the applause spread through the hall
until only three people's hands were still - one was Miss Vogel, and
she was handing over their prizes, the other was Andrea whose hands
were almost melted together from the pressure she was putting them
under and the last were mine, for I was weeping too much to do anything
else.
Then she turned, my girl, with the gilt-edged envelope in her hand and
her painted nails pretty against it. She looked out and up at the
hundreds of people gathered there. And she smiled - faint at first,
then wider and her face lit up; and there, right there, on the stage in
front of me was my baby - all grown up and beautiful - and I wept some
more.
Stevie
- 09.02.2023
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