Our first rendez vous ndash part 2 reupload
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Voulez Vous ( Regaining Self-confidence) free porn video
VOULEZ VOUS / WATERLOO
(SPIRIT AND FUN)
Tonight, after a good Saturday party with friends, we had two bottles of
wine and cheese followed by subs and listening to ABBA, thinking of
going to the ABBA concert coming to the Midwest, some of the songs that
re-opened happy pathways are "voulez vous" and "waterloo." A song I and
a close friend listened to as well is "Fernando."
Before turning in for the night, I decided to go to youtube and listen
first to "Voulez Vous"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alhVUKh36_Q
I and my fiancee watched "Mama Mia" and listened to the best hits of
ABBA while driving from Chicago to Florida; also, at that time, I was
active in open mic in Kenosha. I did a poem sonata on "Voulez Vous." It
is fun and full of spirit. Watching the video again, I did think of my
fiancee who died in 2012 and of a close friend I met after my fiancee
died. Due to our ages, we prefer to stay close friends rather than
marry, even though same sex marriage is now in more parts of the US.
The biggest thing is that watching the video and thinking of the Open
Mic time in Kenosha did remind of what I'm emerging from in the years
between 2011 and up to mid 2017. It is mixed with good and bad, like a
cycle, like waves, which is normal in life. What is abnormal is that I
felt like I walked into a middle of a religious war in the Midwest
where I lived, it was like "Dangerous Beauty" when the Doge entered
Venice and those small, cowards gave in to an inquisition and it took a
famous women who was able to communicate and her lover who first saw an
opening to expel the Douge by standing, which encouraged good people to
act against the inquisition in Venice in 1586.
Yes, is some shelters I have observed, for trans-women and trans-men, it
is like walking into an inquisition. That is why "Voulez Vous" has a
great rejuvenation for me and others.
The thing about rejuvination is that some will claim they have a right
to religious freedom; however, the right to religious freedom does not
include abuse, persecution, psychological or emotional damage even if
short term and especially long term.
Part of the reason I am writing this is that I am getting my self-
confidence back as it does take time and a good community to recharge.
Also, I'm starting to get back to a routine, my health still needs to
improve (emotional, psychological, and physical). Pushing myself daily
is something I do and speaking out is what I do as well by pen, as I
believe the pen is mightier than the sword.
Although, some commentators will speak of an attack on liberal democracy
and the need for many to act; something to note, when I have observed
certain shelters, the hidden abusers many of the said they were
democrats. I don't think they really were or even Americans, because
they are cowards who gave in to a 15th century church philosophy like
shown in the PBS series and book of the same name "The Miniatures."
Which is why I don't go by labels anymore, democrat, republican does not
mean anything. It is what a person does that demonstrates their belief
and practices towards themselves and others. The Scandanavian culture
has a philosophy which is demonstrated as "... a culture is evaluated by
how it treats is citizens and guest who are facing the worst of times."
That is true, that is why, it was a Scandanavian culture city in the US
that I'm able to start to get my self-confidence back and put the games
I went through by others in history and walk away.
Walking away may seem like a tactic that some consider weak or
avoidance. Actually, it is not. Consider, that the best strategy is
where you obtain the optimum result with least expenditure of resources.
Yes, it may sound like a military example, and discretion before valor
is an example. Yet, it is easy to walk away and move on and forward
because allowing to be baited not to walk away can result in a situation
that is complicated to resolve.
Walking away mean like many women have discovered as leaving clothes and
important items that are part of you with the result they are not able
to be obtained again. The way I think of it is like a tornado or
hurricane, when it comes and it is big, you are glad you can live for
the future, you don't try to argue or negotiate with violent storm for
your personnel items, they are lost due to an act of nature. Walking
away from a bad situation is getting out of the path of a violent act of
nature channeled through a person or group.
The second video I like is "Waterloo" from the original "Mama Mia."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GvL0jFY7u8
Coming of age in the 70's, I love the outfits, the colors, the pattern,
and the fun in expressing yourself. It is important to be happy because
during the time I felt I went through a religious inquisition by a
retaliation against being a transwoman similar to what was shown in the
movie "Pleasantville" when people started to think in color rather than
the cookie cutter, inquistion thinking of black and white, happiness
stops any negative groups.
My fiancee used to joke saying "... remember when you a too happy, they
get worried and want to take away the smiles." The meaning is that
happiness leads to self-confidence, expression of creativity, and ending
of abuse, hurt, mean things / acts.
With my close friend who we both care deeply for each other, she is
understanding and understands me. Helping me come out of my shell in
that it is ok to have a few drinks at home and not always to be
concerned about being perfect and it is good to sometimes to be drunk.
The ability to trust someone when you are drunk is a high trust; it is a
high trust because you can share ideas and even forget about some ideas
that you don't want to remember. Even on one episode of "Murdoch
Mysteries" in an episode where Carrie Nation came to Toronto in 1901 to
make it a dry city; the police department and doctors / nurses disagreed
because it is better for people to be able to be have a drunk at home or
at a place where they are going to stay until sober in order for their
own psychological and emotional health.
The thing to remember that in a shelter, I still feel hidden inspectors,
hidden testers, and licensing of all shelter staff and volunteers are
needed. Also, that the shelter stay contracts which use the clause "...
the person agrees to hold the shelter harmless in all things" needs to
removed and challenged because the clause is an open card to abuse of
those unlucky to stay in a shelter.
Friends tell me I will never go through a situation in a shelter like I
went through in 2017; I'm glad because it almost did me in. The purpose
of case workers and shelters is not discourage persons by the psychology
of fear as that is abuse and domination. I am hoping others in
midwestern shelters have greater protection and watching from outside
people. Also, sending someone from Chicago to inspect a Wisconsin
shelter is not valid because even an abusive Wisconsin shelter seems
better than most Chicago shelters ( evaluating by the lowest common
denominator is not accepted either).
I do hope what I have written does help for the future.
Lastly, the song "Fernando"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQsjAbZDx-4
is a song when I first heard it when it came, I had some understanding
as my grandfather was in WWI and had effects; yet, kept quiet. The only
thing he would say to me is "I hope you never have to go through a war
and especially a world war." Also, when I used to watch movies like
"Battle of the Buldge" and "Where Eagles Dare" my grandfather would ask
me to understand that movies glorify war and make it tidy, all soldiers
come back OK on the good side. I know from the first gulf what my
grandfather means and what does mean to understand PTSD and what I went
through in 2017 started a second PTSD through shelter / religious abuse
I am living with and using the techniques to avoid too many down days,
it still means with many morning events I can't make even to a Sunday
coffee at church because I wake up later.
The song "Fernando" I see is about a woman who loves her partner and
releases the partner is living with PTSD triggered by canons, guns, and
drums. It is like her partner is reliving the battle of the Rio Grande
river in 1845. To the modern generation, it is like reliving Kuwait in
1990 or Iraq in 2005. The thing is being made a medical zombie by high
medication (to keep you permanently high is not the answer); that is why
I'm glad there are alternative methods developed in the Western states
of the US.
So, music is important to a person getting back to smiling again;
remember, their music is the music that works for them; it is not a
worksheet where one fits all. A one fits all approach will make the
individual frustrated and do avoidance. Like I and my dad discovered
from a Vet who returned from Vietnam in '75, headphones, stereo with
their own music ( records, tapes, cds - what they like), 6 months to 1
year of leave me alone, when going out to wendy's or mcd's please do not
make the person the entertainment by saying "Thank you for service." If
you really care, when the person is ready to make a gesture to meet you,
say "Never forget" as mentioned by a recently elected congressman from
New York ( I can't recall his name now) --- friends of mine who are
Vietnam vets, I asked about "Never Forget" and he likes it as it true
and not fake acknowledgement as "thank you for your service."
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