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Crush By Cassandra Morgan Charlie was coming over. Good old Charlie. He was the long-lost brother that we never knew we had. One weekend, he had started hanging around, and he seemed to always be there. Charlie had a loopy grin, and a great sense of humor, and he was smart. He told a good joke, and he would help with whatever project that we had going on. He came to dinner. He went to movies with us. Hell, he spent holidays with us. And why wouldn't he? He was Charlie. Good old Charlie. "Your friend will be here any minute," Lilly said to me. "You mean your friend, don't you?" She giggled. "He's both our friend. He's like a pet Labrador. Whatever attention he gets is fine." "Keep him off the furniture, won't you? Fleas are a bitch to get rid of." We hadn't seen Charlie for a month. Maybe he'd finally found a girlfriend. Maybe he was angry at us. Maybe he was just in a daze. With Charlie, good old Charlie, it was tough to tell. "Kevin, be nice to Charlie, okay?" I shrugged. "I'm always nice to guys who have a thing for my wife." "He does not," she said, but she didn't sound convicted. "Does too. And I don't blame him. You're terrific." "Aw, thank you babe. I think you're terrific, too. And Charlie agrees." Lilly scowled. "Charlie has never made one move on me," she said. "He respects you too much." "Good old Charlie," I said. "I knew there was something I liked about him." She slapped my arm as the doorbell rang. "He's here," Lilly said. "How do I look?" "You look great. Do you ever care what I think anymore? Or just your boyfriend?" "Stop it." She opened the door, and Charlie stood there, a lock of his hair hanging over his forehead. He was wearing jeans and sneakers, but a tan sports coat dressed him up a little. For Lilly, I imagined. The poor soul really was a loyal puppy dog. "This is for you," he said, handing the wine to Lilly. "And these ... I guess these are for you, too," he said, shoving flowers toward her. "Come in, Charlie," Lilly said, kissing his cheek. "We haven't seen you for ages." "I've had a lot on my mind lately," Charlie said. "How are my buddies?" "We're great," Lilly said. "Kevin got a promotion at work. And we're going to Spain in the summer. Costa del Sol. The beaches there are supposed to be terrific." "That's great. I'm happy for you. And for you, Kev. You'll have a great time." Lilly took his hand and led him to the coach. "So, you seeing anyone, Charlie?" "Uh....not really. I mean, I like someone, but I must be invisible. Unrequited love is the story of my life. Invisibility isn't all it's cracked up to be." I laughed. "Someone will see you, Charlie. They'll gobble you up." He looked at means shrugged. "I wish," he said. "Want to open the wine?" So we opened the wine, and we ate the seafood pasta that Lilly had made. He joked about the new Elton John movie, and the Bengals horrible start, and Trump, and the Kardashians. We talked about the Grammies and Spain and the monkeys on Gibraltar, which was close to where we were going. After dinner, Lilly put on a Sting CD, and we let the music pour over us. She reached and took both of Charlie's hands in hers, "So what's happening, Charlie? Who is this goddess you have a thing for?" Charlie blushed. He turned away. "I...I better not say." "Oh, come on, Charlies. It's just a little crush. A crush is the most flattering thing in the world. You're telling someone she's attractive, and interesting, and provocative. It's a great compliment." She smiled and patted her hair. She looked pretty in the dim light of the world. "Well, I mean all those things. But what if they're married to one of your good friends?" She grinned. She looked at me."He'll just have to live with it. All love is good." "Do you know what gob-smacked is?" "Sure. It's when you're hit by a thunderbolt and you fall madly in love." "It was like that for me." "Charlie," Lilly said, grinning. "Are you talking about me?" He blinked."Uh, no, Lilly. I mean, you're a great friend, but it isn't you." Lilly looked at him. I looked at Lilly. Then he floored me. "Lilly...the person I have a crush on?" We both looked at him. "It's Kevin." * * The air went out of the room. I could hear my heart beat. Me? Charlie just said he had a crush on me? I'm not gay. Hell, Charlie wasn't gay, I didn't think. Lilly's eyes widened. Her jaw hung open. Then she gave a short burst of laughter. "Kevin? My Kevin? This old sock? You've got a crush on my husband?" "Hey!" I protested. But I didn't know whether to be flattered or insulted. Charlie shrugged. "I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have said anything. "No, no. It's all right," Lilly said. "Really. So have you two ...um... consummated your love?" Charlie blushed again. "Of course not," he said. "Kevin is married to you. He's faithful. I'm just saying how I feel." "Charlie, how long have you had a crush on Kev?" "Two years. Two and a half, I guess. Do you remember when you guys dressed up as a bride and groom for Halloween? Kevin -- well, I guess he was Katie on the night of the party-- was gorgeous. I still have the photo." "Jesus. You kept a picture of my husband in a wedding dress?"" "She glowed, Lilly. I mean, she glowed. She was the prettiest thing I've ever seen. And I can't get her out of my head." "Charlie?" I said. "You know I have a penis, right?" "I know. You think I haven't thought about that? I think about it all the time, what I would do, what you would do. It wouldn't stop me, Katie. It really wouldn't. I'd be so gentle with you." "Crap. I think you need to crawl back in your closet, Charlie. I'm not gay." "Gay is a state of mind, Kevin," Lilly said. "Saliva on your dick feels good. A tongue in your vagina feels good. It doesn't matter what sex is making you feel good. We've talked about this before." "Yeah, as a concept," I said. "But I don't want any part of Charlie's part." Charlie looked crestfallen, wounded. His eyes were as sad as a kitten in the rain. "Katie....Kevin. I'm not trying to insult you. I'm really not. And nothing has to change with us. I know you're married to Lilly. I just thought you should know how I feel, why I don't date." "How you feel?" I figured I'd better be firm. "I'll tell you how you feel. You feel like you've been in the sun too long. Charlie. You feel lonely, so you're switching teams. What do you expect me to do?" "I expect for you to be my friend. That's all. Understand how I feel." "We're both still you're friends," Lilly said. "Even though Charlie likes Kevin's sweet little ass." "Hey!" I said. ""Don't be funny." "So tell me about that night with Katie, Charlie." "She...she was gorgeous in that white dress. The prettiest bride ever. I mean, you were pretty, too, Lilly. But Katie was breathtaking. We danced once. Do you remember? I wanted to kiss her right there. I wanted to Rhett Butler her to the bedroom." "It didn't matter that she was a boy?" Charlie hung his head. "Not to me. I know what you're thinking. But I've never been with a guy. I've never had a crush on one before. But I believe you fall in love with a person's soul, not his...parts. I thought Katie was my soulmate. I still do." "Well, maybe she is," Lilly said, looking at me. "Kev, do you fancy a go with Charlie?" "God no," I said. "I mean, no thank you, Charlie. You're a good guy. But I'm not a girl." "I understand. You look good in a dress, though. You move like a girl. You sit like a girl. I think of you as a girl." "Do you know, Kevin -- I mean Katie -- has worn girls clothes before?" "You have?" "She has. That's why we wore the wedding dress to the party. She's no stranger to panties. That's why she moved like a girl." "I was a fucking teenager," I said. "I was fooling around." "And now it's Charlie who wants to fool around. Why don't you give him a kiss?" "Stop it, Lilly. I'm not like that." "I'll go," Charlie said. "I've caused enough problems." "Shut up," Lilly said. "You sit your ass right there. You're our friend, and we're going to talk about this." Charlie sat down. He wouldn't meet my glare. "So Katie is the girl in this fantasy?" "Yes. She is. She was in the wedding dress." "And you'd like to be her groom? Charlie smiled. "Who wouldn't?" "How do think of her, Charlie?" "She's in my bedroom. She's wearing a whirl nightgown. She ... has breasts. And, uh, an erection." "Wow," I said. "Nice detail." "Do you date other transvestites, Charlie?" "Other?" I yelled. "I'm not a transvestite!?" "No, it's just Katie that I like," Charlie said. "I've gone to bars and looked. But anyone else would be cheating on her." "Go ahead, cheat," I said. "Not you, Lilly. Charlie." "Aren't you a little curious, Katie? Wouldn't you want to try sex as a girl?" "No. A thousand times no. No offense to gay people, and if Charlie's one of them, no offense to him, either. But I'm a grown man with a wife. Don't forget that, Lilly." She smiled and giggled. "Don't get your panties in a wad, Katie." she said. She turned to Charlie. "Forgive her, Charlie. It's her time of the month. Please understand." "I'm going to make some coffee," I said, storming out of the room. Before I left, I heard heard her voice. "You go, girl." * * I was sitting on the edge of the bed, in a t-shirt and shorts, when Lilly walked by me. She grinned and went to her closet.She pulled out a blue nightgown and threw it on the bed. "You want to wear this, Katie? It'll bring out your eyes." "Please stop," I said. She didn't. She reached down and brought out a banana she had brought from the kitchen. "Try sucking this," she said. "I'd keep the peel on. There's less temptation to bite if you have the peel." "You are almost as funny as a train wreck," I said. "But not quite." She giggled. "You can't blame me for having a little fun. I think it's sweet. It isn't every day a woman finds out her husband is making guys hard." "He didn't say that." "He said he had lusted over you for two and a half years. You don't think that calls for an erection or three. 'Oh, Katie! Touch me there." I looked down. Lilly sat next to me and put her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said. "I just find it all amusing. I was worried about Mary Jo Johnson, and it turns out, I should have been worried about poor love-struck Charlie." "Charlie has nothing for me." "Liar. I remember, girlfriend. " "What do you remember?" "I remember pegging you that night. I remember you squealing like a teenager on prom night. You liked it." "You weren't going to bring that up anymore." "Well, I wouldn't have. But there is a new challenger to Katie's virtue. Do you want Charlie to fuck that ass?" "Of course not." We were quiet for a minute. Lilly took my hand. "Kev, why did we ever stop playing? I mean, you wore the wedding dress that night, and you had a good time. You were pretty. And we never did it again." "I guess I was afraid I'd like it too much, Lilly," I said. "I didn't want to be a cross-dresser. It's perverse." "You can't help being who you are. I don't think wearing a dress would affect most guys. But it affected you. And me. I liked you in lipstick." "Well, I haven't done it for years. I hadn't even thought about it until Charlie came serenading me." She laughed softly. "Do you miss it?" I thought about her question. "I miss wearing the clothes," I said. "You'll put on a dress -- that red one of yours, for instance -- and all I can think of is how it would feel on me. But I think of the shame after I've worn one, the guilt. It's better that I don't." "Katie, I don't care. Okay? I know some women don't like it, and they bitch their husbands out when they wear their clothes. I've read the stories where the wife turns them into their maids and has sex in front of them. I wouldn't do that, as badly as I need a maid." She laughed softly. "You're a good wife," I said. "No, you are," she said, giggling. "So what's stopping you? Do you want a get-out-jail-card with Charlie?" "A what?" "A free sex card. No guilt. Fuck him if you want, and I won't get mad. No screaming, no threats, no lawyers." "Lilly, I don't want to fuck anyone but you." "Then put on your nightgown," she said. "And lick me." "I don't need a nightgown." "Maybe I need for you to wear one." God help me, but I did. * * I woke up in the middle of the disoriented. Lilly's nightgown was around my knees. I got up and went to the bathroom. I sat to pee. I felt odd. And the evening was still on my mind. A man had a crush on me. A friend. He thought of me as a female, as a place to put his cock. I shook my head. I thought about that Halloween. There were protests then, too. But Litzy knew I had worn my sister Abby's clothes as a teenager, and she harangued me until I agreed to wear the wedding dress. I had danced with the men at the part and had a grand time. But I had denied myself afterward. I didn't want Lilly to think less of me. So I wore pants. I was a good husband. Down deep, did I still have the hunger. Some, maybe. Some. I thought about Charlie. He was a damn sexy guy, I'll admit. But I didn't think about naked. I didn't think about being his girl. Til now. I had known men who liked men. Who doesn't? They were big men and small, macho guys and twinks. But I never thought I was one of them. As I sat there, I heard Lilly move. She entered the bathroom and saw me sitting with the nightgown pulled up. She shook her head and smiled. "Hurry up, lady," she said. "I've got to pee." *** And then I was falling. Again. If I felt like a drowning man for most of the week, it should be said that Lilly was having a grand time. She loved treating me as her Barbie doll, putting me in this skirt and that dress. Trying on hose and underwear, jewelry and makeup. On Monday I wore a blue sundress. On Tuesday, I wore a gray skirt. On Wednesday, I wore her red dress, the one I loved so much. On Thursday, I wore a white dress. On Friday, a yellow skirt and a black top. On Saturday, I wore a green skirt. On Sunday, I wore a 60s-style polka dot dress. And I wore nightgowns every night. I was never without women's underwear. I was diving in the deep end of the pool. I felt so wonderful, so feminine, as I paraded around the house. I was sure I was going to get caught by a neighbor, but in a way, that just added to the thrill. And, yes, I loved it. But I hated me for loving it. Does that make any sense? A man should be able to withstand such silly temptations. But I could not. It was amazing I had been able to stop after wearing that wedding dress. Now, I was helpless. Then, Friday came, and Lilly looked at me and grinned her dangerous little grin. "Guess who's coming to dinner?" she said. "Sidney Poitier?" "Charlie. Good old Charlie. I-love-Katie Charlie. Can-I-hold-your- hand Charlie. Sweetlips Charlie." "I don't think dinner is a good idea, Lilly." "Hah. I think it's a great idea. It's time Katie woke up and smelled the after shave." "I'll wear jeans," I said. "The hell you will. You'll wear either the red dress or the black one. Charlie will be knocked on his ass when he sees you've dressed for him." "Lilly, I'm not ready for people to see me." "Not even Charlie Sugar Lips?" "Especially Charlie....I'm not going to repeat that part about his lips." "Katie, Katie, Katie. Why do you play hard to get when you want it as bad as I want to see it? Hey, I just realized. I'm a cuckold. I get to see my wife screwed by another man. Isn't that cool?" "We should take it slow. Talk about it for a while. We can come out, oh, next week. Maybe next year." "You can come out in about an hour, chickie baby, Panties. Bra. Girdle. Dress." "Girdle?" "Something has to keep Stuart Little down. Unless you want to rush out and buy a cock cage." "No, thanks. I like to dangle free." "Oh, Katie. Sissy girls love restraint. They love entrusting their erections to someone else. I say I get a key, and Charlie gets a key. You don't get a key." "Now, that's just silly. I would need a key. I mean, if I did this." "Imagine it, Katie. Imagine straining against the tube. Imagine looking at Charlie naked, and wanting to get a hard on, and you can't. Having to beg for my permission? Isn't that the best? Isn't that erotic as all hell?" "No, it isn't." "What? Do you want Charlie to play with your hard-on? You want him to slap it around until it comes? You want his mouth on your little clitty?" "It's not a clitty. It's a penis." "It's a wee-wee. It's a Vienna sausage. It's not even as big as my little toe." "Why are you on me about my dick size? You never have been before." "Mistresses are supposed to make fun of their sissy's dicks. The theory is that the smaller the dick, the less of a man you are.." "Dammit, Lilly. Stop this. I don't have a little dick, and I don't want a cage." "Is that your final word?" Lilly said, squinting. "Yes. I'm still the man of the house." She laughed, long and loud. "You're my sissy boy," she said. "Say it. Sissssssy. Like air out a balloon. And I'm going to invite everyone over to see. Especially your parents. Just for your outburst, you don't get to wear a dress today. Bra and panties for you. And that girdle. "You...you wouldn't do that." "What? Is Katie shy? She doesn't want to talk about her panties with mommy? Or sexy men with daddy? What if I tell them you and Charlie are an item? Will she understand that?" "Why are you doing this to me, Lilly?" "Because I read that sissies love humiliation. What could be more humiliating than Mommy seeing her little soldier in a dress? Or telling Daddy that Charlie's penis is your favorite thing. And that it's better than going to a baseball game. Now, how about that cage?" I sighed. I looked at it. It looked as if it belonged in a dungeon. There was something barbaric, something primitive about it. "Buy it for me," I said. "I'll lock it up." Lilly giggled. "Now you're getting with the program." * * She didn't stop there. She bought me two butt plugs, one bigger than the other. Breast forms. A cock pacifier, like a baby's dummy but with a large rubber dick attached. A color. A rubber paddle. And that damned cage. "Lilly. Why did you buy all this!" "Nothings too good for my girl. Tell me you love it. Tell me you're my sissy." "I'm a sissy. Your sissy." "Say it loud so the other customers can hear." Sigh. "I'm a sissy." A lady was walking past as I said it. "Well, hello sissy. Aren't you precious?" "She's new to this," Lilly told her. "She just got her first cage." "Oh, it's tiny. Ralph? Ralph, come and look at this sissy's cage. Isn't it little?" "Damn. I have one, but it's much bigger than that. Why not staple a bottle cap on it?" "Let me see," a black guy said. "Damn, it's pink, too. Do they sell these to straight guys, too?" "It's Robo-dick," a woman snickered. "Mighty Mouse." "Ant man!" "Would she play with my dick? It's bigger." It went on that way, with strangers making fun of my dick, and of my sissy status. Lilly laughed the entire time. She bought herself a new dildo. She bought me a red corset. She bought us lube. We walked to the cash register. "Sissy!" Lilly said, her voice loud. "Stay!" Stay? Where was I going? To talk to the old man staring at me? Lilly stacked the items on the counter. The sales girl rang them up. "Oh, you'll like this plug. My girlfriend has one. And this paddle is good, although I prefer a whip." She picked up the cage. She turned it over. She frowned and leaned into the microphone. "I need a price check on a the Needledick-6000," she said, and her voice carried throughout the store. "The extra small one. The pink one." "It's for his boyfriend," Lilly said. "It's okay, cookie," the salesgirl said. "Us gay people need love, too." I have never been so glad to get out of a store in my life. I scurried to the car. I got into the back seat. Then the salesgirl was at the window. "You forgot your purse, Kevin," she said. "I saw your drivers license. You look better as a girl. "If I were you, I'd get that picture changed." *** Charlie arrived 15 minutes early on Friday and rang the doorbell. Lilly answered, and he handed her his standard wine and flowers. "For me?" she said. "Or for someone else?" "Um, for you both," he said. "I didn't want to be presumptuous." "Ha. Just come in, Charlie. We've got a surprise for you." "For me? Besides dinner?" "Dinner is take-out pizza. The surprise is bigger." She turned toward the stairs. "Are you ready, sweetie?" I walked into the room, and hearts stopped. I was wearing my little black dress, with my wig up. I had dancing earrings, and I had spent hours on my makeup. My wig fit perfectly. I smiled, and I realized just how much I had come to love lipstick.m "Do you remember Katie?" Lilly asked Charlie. "Hello, Charlie," I said. "Oh, my God," he said, mesmerized. "Thank you. You're gorgeous. Just like I remembered. " "I'm a warthog compared to Lilly. We both know that." "Lilly is beautiful. But not as much as you. Sorry, Lilly." "No problem," Lilly said, grinning at the scene. "She looks good as a girl, doesn't she?" He pulled my chair out for me. I sat and smoothed the skirt of my dress. He was agog as he looked at me. A love-struck teenager. I smiled. Lilly laughed. "Do you two lovebirds realize I'm still here?" "Of course you are, Lilly. You're the queen bee around here. The Mistress. You're in charge." "And don't you forget it. Or you'll be washing dishes, maid or no maid." I giggled. "As Madam wishes." Lilly grinned. "I have some work I have to do," she said. "I think I'll leave you two alone. You two play nice, okay? Katie, you need to be nice to Charlie." "Nice?" "Yes," She said. "Nice. Charlie, I'm leaving her key here on the counter if you need it. Have fun, you two." She scurried upstairs. I poured the wine for Charlie. We sat on the couch. I thought Charlie was sitting a little close. "Charlie? Have you been gay long?" I asked. "I don't think of it as gay. I think that I'm a man and you're a woman. But if it helps you to label, I'll be gay.. Call me names if you want. I don't mind." "Charlie it feels gay. I mean, I'm Kevin. We've been friends for years. "No. No, you aren't. Kevin. In a dress, you're a new creature. You're an angel. Even Lilly recognizes it. You're a girl. My girl." "I'm not a girl." He smiled. He cupped my chin and lifted it. He kissed me so lightly I felt as if I was kissing a flower.. He licked my bottom lip. "I wouldn't do that to a man, Katie. You're not a man. You were never meant to be a man." "I ... I love Lilly." "I know. But we can be together sometimes, too, can't we? I want you so badly." He kissed me again, harder. His lips were rougher than Lilly's. His beard felt funny on my face. "This is going too fast," I said. "I'm not ready." "I understand," Charlie said. "We don't have to have sex. Yet. Just be with me. Talk to me. Hold my hand." "You make me feel so girlish. And that just reminds me that I'm not one." He smiled. He moved my hand to his crotch. "Just feel it. Be a girl." His cock rose beneath my fingers. I wanted desperately to rub it. But not on the first night. I moved my hand, but I kissed him again. I accepted his tongue into my mouth. His palm brushed over my breast forms. I lay my head on his shoulder then, and I touched his chest. We turned on a movie and watched it like two teenagers whose parents were in the next room. He had his hand on my thigh. I left it there. I fell asleep that way, there on the couch, in the arms of a guy who had a crush on me. Charlie dozed off, too. Lilly came in, saw us, and spread a blanket over us. Our lives had changed. Lilly's husband dressed like a woman now. He had had a date with a man. Who knew how far we would go, and what diversions we would try? I just knew I couldn't stop. * * Lilly introduced me a new game on Monday. It was a little silly, but it was a little erotic, too. She brought me home a waitress's dress. We role played with me wearing it, taking her order, bringing her food. The next week, she brought me a nurse's dress. Then a school girl outfit. It became a weekly kink. One week, I was a meter maid. The next, I was the Swiss Miss. I was a Supreme, complete with dark makeup. I was a bridesmaid. I was a Hooter's girl. A geisha. A middle eastern princess. I dressed like Supergirl. I dressed in a WNBA uniform. As a flight attendant. As an exotic dancer, removing an article of clothing each hour. I was Scarlett O'Hara. I was Ilsa at the airport with that great hat. I was Juliet. I was a hooker. I was a harem girl. I was Cat Woman. It was loads of fun, a weekly costume party. I would put on the outfit, and we would play. Usually, I ended up licking her. Or she would peg my ass. I especially liked it when she did that to Juliet. One week, I looked at her. "No maid's dress?" I said. She laughed. "It's too cliche," she said. "Every sissy gets into a fucking maid's uniform. I thought I would spare you that." "Maybe there's a reason it's a cliche. Maybe it's just so damn sexy with the apron and the hat and the petticoats." "Do you want one? I mean, really?" "I think I do." "If I buy you one, you're going to act as the maid. Clean, cook. Curtsy. All of it. "Not all the time, okay? Maybe a day a week. Maybe two days." She giggled. "Okay. Wednesday evening and Saturday. You clean. You don't have to cook if you don't want but I want my kitchen cleaned or I will spank you. Agreed?" I grinned. "Yes, Mistress." "Do I have to wear leather?" she said "Ooooh. I like my wife in leather." She nodded. "Then I'll wear leather. But Katie, think about it. We dress up on Monday. You'll be a maid on Wednesday and Saturday. Charlie comes over on Friday. And there is a new trans support group on Thursday. Your week is getting pretty full." "What about Tuesday?" "On Tuesday, we go see the doctor to talk about you getting breasts of your own." I stood there, open mouthed. This was a line to cross. It wasn't the ultimate line -- that would be SRS -- but it was definitely a line. With breasts, you couldn't hide in your own bedroom. You weren't safe in your own living room. This was girl-time all of the time. "Am I ready for that?" I asked. "Look at yourself, Katie. I can't remember the last time you wore pants at home. Your hair is in that girlie pixie cut. You have earrings now. You wear heels. Shit, you're more of a girl than I am. If aliens came to earth, they'd think you were the wife here. And maybe you are. I think you need breasts." "I didn't want it to be like this." "You live to be like this. Don't lie to me or to yourself. Hell, Katie, you're a girl. Accept yourself. This is who you are. I'm at peace with it. You should be, too." "Do you hate me?" "I love you. I love that you're going to have a date again on Friday. I love that I'm going to have one, too." "You....you have a date?" "What? Did you think I was going to a convent? I'm going out with William O'Riley from the office and some friends. We're going to go dancing to get out of your way." "Lilly, I don't want you to have sex with someone else. It's selfish, I know. But I don't. I'm scared of what might happen." She paused. Then she nodded. "Here's the deal, Katie. I won't have sex until you tell me I can. I'm the one who gave you a free pass with Charlie. Fair is fair. But I won't have sex until you tell me 'Lilly, I understand you have needs, and you get to fuck William. Or Marcus. Or Marie.' " "Marie?" She shrugged. "William's wife," she said. "You're a lesbian?" "No, I'm not a lesbian. Did you just hear me mention William and Marcus? I'm just ... open-minded. I could kiss a pussy." "Shit," I said. "Your permission, Katie. I don't have sex until you tell me I can. I'm trusting you to do the right thing." "Shit," I repeated. "Yeah," Lilly said. "That about sums it up." * * On Friday, our apartment was like a sorority house. Lilly was going out dancing with William. I was getting ready for Charlie. I had pasta on the stove. Lilly and I kept bumping each other as we passed, as I was gradually putting on my clothes. "Oh, I like that bra," Lilly said. "I love your shoes." "I can't wait for Charlie to see that dress." "Your earrings are adorable. Can I borrow them sometime?" I didn't feel like a guy anymore, to tell you the truth. Panties felt ... normal. A bra was ... normal. Being a girl was ... normal. I mean, I still loved the girl in the mirror. I loved the way the clothes felt on my skin. But having them on me didn't feel as strange as not having them on me. You know? Charlie arrived at 7, as usual. These days, I was the one who accepted the wine and flowers, and I rewarded him with a kiss. This time, it lasted for a while. Lilly grinned as usual. "I'm going to be out late," she said. "We're going to twist the night away. I want to dance, dance, dance like I did last summer. I want to put on my red shoes and dance the blues. I want to dance with someone who loves me." "I love you," I said. "Ah, but not on Fridays, right? You're Charlie's angel on Friday." "I'm Farrah Fawcett?" I said. "Yes you are," Lilly said. And with that, she kissed Charlie on the cheek and left. Charlie and I stood in the doorway, looking at each other. We had dated for months now, but we still hadn't become lovers. That was about to change. "I have a spill," I said. "Why don't you take off your pants so they don't get wet." "I...what?" "Shut up, Charlie. It's your lucky night. Now get those pants off." He unbuckled his belt. He dropped his pants. He tugged down his shorts. And there it was, erect and gorgeous, veiny and slightly red. It was beautiful. It was inviting. It was hard. "It's a pretty cock," I said, sinking to my knees. "I don't have a blue vein like that one. Of course, I'm not that big, either." It hovered in front of my face. I leaned forward and tentatively kissed it on the tip. Charlie moaned. I took the bulb in my mouth and sucked gently. He moaned louder. I took it deep into my mouth. He started to speak in tongues. I was doing it! I was a cocksucker, and I liked it. I was sucking off another man as if I had done it all my life. I could smell his sweat I felt hid pubic gait against my face. I felt all powerful as I licked his shaft. I tried to emulate the way that Lilly did it, plenty of tongue but real suction. I cupped his testicles and rubbed his dick against both sides of my face, whipping my hair over it. I bobbed my head, looking up into his eyes. He was holding my head then, not guiding it, just holding it. I slipped a finger into his ass. I never thought of sex with a man until I started dressing again. But I sucked as if I had been waiting years to do it. Maybe I had. The glances at other guys at the gym? The freeze-frames in the porn I had watched. Lilly's nude firefighter calendar. The glances at gay men at the bar. Maybe I had more than a casual interest in the dicks I had seen. When Charlie came, I tried to swallow it all, because I knew a man liked that. But I couldn't. Charlie had been pent up for years, and now he flooded my mouth and throat. I took my mouth off of it and let him come on my face. "God, Katie. I love you," he said. "I love you so much." Afterward, we went to the bedroom. I put on a short nightgown, and I lay in Charlie's arms. "I'm getting boobs," I told him. "I'm glad," he said. "I'm coming out at work." "That's good," he said. "I'm having make-up tattooed on my face." "You'll be gorgeous," he said. "I'm about to get fucked in the ass," I said. "You are?" "By you, numbnuts," I said. "Oh." So we did it that way, too, with him gently lubing my anus, with my ass in the air, with him easing it in an inch and a half at a time. I closed my eyes, and I bit the pillow, and I became a woman. It's like that. The first 30 seconds are hell, but the next 10 minutes are a walk through heaven's gate. Damn, I liked good old sex with Good Old Charlie. "I meant it," he whispered to me. "Meant what?" "When I told you I loved you. I meant it." "Please don't love me," I said. "I'm a freak." "You're a goddess." "I have a dick." "You're a goddess with a dick. And I love you." I kissed him. "You know I'll never leave Lilly." "She gets Kevin. I love Katie. We can share." I giggled. He looked at me. "Can I kiss it?" he asked. "What? My dick? I didn't think the man did that." He smiled. "This man does whatever makes his woman feel better. I'd be proud to suck your dick." "Then let's 69," I said, twisting on the bed. I felt wetness on my penis. I felt stiffness in my mouth. And that was nice, too. * * "Do you believe in mythology?" Lilly asked me the next morning. We were having coffee in our nightgowns, letting the Saturday morning in slowly. "Mythology? Like Gods and demons?" "Yeah. That." "I believe I'm Thor," I said. "Especially in my butt." "Silly trollop. Do you know what a unicorn is." "Well, duh. It's a horse with a horn. It shits Skittles." "God, you're a funny bitch when you're in afterglow. A unicorn is a woman who dates a married couple. She sleeps with the husband. She sleeps with the wife." "Yeah, so?" She blushed. "William and Marie have asked me to be their unicorn." My mouth went dry. "They have?" "They have. I think it could be great fun. I've never had a girl. Well, except for you. And he's a good looking dude." I looked at her. "Have you started?" She shook her head. "Not without your permission. You know that. We agreed." I swallowed hard. A few hours ago, I had Charlie's dick my mouth. There was no way I could deny Lilly. "Lilly, I love you," I said. "I love you too, Katie," "Hear me out. I'm going to give you my blessing. You have my permission to have sex with whomever you want. William. Marie. The cop on the corner. Just promise me you'll always come back to me. Promise me that whatever changes are ahead, we'll face them together." She nodded. "You're mine, Katie," she said. "We can have sex with other people. But love is just for us. That'll be true when you get your implants. If you get a vagina. If Charlie moves in with my maid. And if you ever need for me to stop being a unicorn, well, just say the word. We come first. We'll always come first." I sighed. "Then let's open the door. You can have him, provided I get to watch for your protection. You can have her. Hell, you can have the family parakeet. It'll be an adventure." "Thank you," She said. "But they don't have birds. Just a gardener." I laughed. She was kidding. I think. "I have one more thing to ask you, Lilly," I said quietly. "What is it?" "Can I borrow your red dress this weekend. Charlie and I are going to a wedding. He has a friend getting married." "Okay, but keep it clean when you catch the bouquet, okay?" Copyright (c) 2019 Cassandra Morgan