losing my marbles
- 2 years ago
- 15
- 0
Jane experiences Pinkertons Prong.
Jane Marbles stared at the approaching rain clouds. It was nearly a week since they had experienced a murder in Midsomer St Mary and she was getting bored.
Inspector Wexford was getting worried, his crime figures projections were causing some anxiety, the numbers of murders had recently overtaken the Bronx and were almost as bad as the figures for Peckham, if unreported crimes were considered, and now Miss Marbles was back visiting one of her "Relatives".
In fact Jane was visiting an old friend, Miriam, Slobotham - Smythe, Miss Marbles and she had shared a dorm and frequently a bed at Cheltenham, and Miriam had a nice little business in her Cottage next to Midsomer St Mary Manor, selling cream teas and crack cocaine to tourists.
Jane liked dark wet nights, one could not hear the screams, she had solved nearly eighty murders, up to now, she loved the feeling of snapping a neck, or feeling the knife slip gently against the victims ribs, it was so much easier to solve a murder if one knew all the people, assessed the motives, decided who was likely to kill whom and then to simply do it.
Jack Wexford was her great love, unattainable sadly, her twenty four separate attempts to kill his wife having failed miserably, and yet she still held a torch for him, although she was not too sure about the physical side of any relationship, she generally preferred girls.
Rain drops started to fall, she smiled thinking about Roger, Miriam's Sister Betty's husband, she remembered the way his pretty bearded face looked unbelievingly as she plunged the kitchen knife into his chest, the red blood bubbling around the knife, his lover got twelve years for manslaughter for that when she persuaded him to do a plea bargain, apparently Roger wore socks in bed, and Jane had her principles, he deserved to die, even if he took out his vile lusts on another man.
Jane watched the rain, should she kill the Vicar, or should it be the Organist, who always dragged the Hymns at evensong, or that colour blind fool who did the flower arrangements, she mulled it over.
"Supper Jane" cried Miriam, and Jane remembered just in time that she could not fly and walked down the psychedic pink inside of a giant snakes throat which led from Bathroom to Dining room.
"Damn Good shit that Mirrors" she complimented her friend.
Audrey Manors looked astonished. "We dress for Dinner in Midsomer St Mary"
"Fuck" said Jane, she knew she forgot something and that was to dress after showering, she hoped no one noticed her nipple rings, as she waddled artlessly towards the door.
"Jane, not outside dear, up stairs" Miriam advised and Jane nodded, and started to climb the bright yellow bean pole leading to the bedroom.
"Nice Tits" Abrahms Miriam's Butler exclaimed as he stared as Jane struggled to climb the staircase convinced as she was that she was being swallowed by a Giant Turtle.
Jane quickly retrieved her clothes from the roof of the porch where she had thrown them in mistake for a cupboard, she always wore the same grey suit with white blouse and bought them by the dozen so she could always change to a clean set and burn or bury the blood soaked originals.
A car horn brought her to her senses, Pinky Pinkerton's son Pinkers had arrived in the MG and was waiting for his boyfriend Charlie, Charlie was once a girl named Charlotte but before she met Pinkers she wanted to be a man and pee standing up, so it was all a bit unfortunate really, and despite the operation being done privately they claimed they could not reverse it that easily, so she remained a man until the Chinese authorities found a suitable doner to sentence to death.
Jane wondered about Charlie, but when she realised the poor fool would be better off dead she decided to leave him/ her/ it alive. Reynolds, the Butcher, Arthurs the Greengrocer, Allenby who ran the pub, she remembered their final moments fondly, a neck snapped here, a knife, and carbon monoxide poisoning when she pushed Allenby into the firebox of the shunting engine she borrowed from Slugborough Gas works when he driver was occupied with the signal man in a coital fashion. She smiled at the memories as she stared at the rain running down the window pane like a red and green spiders web.
Abrahms spoke to Miriam in a hushed voice, "Madam, the uncut shit from my room is gone, I fear poor Jane half inched it."
Miriam was outraged, "Half inched it, Abrahms please this is Dorsetstershire, not the fleshpots of Dorking, Nicked it please."
"Sorry Ma'am" he apologised.
Jane thought back to her training, at special operations, where they demonstrated the agony which a man could routinely inflict upon a woman in the interests of procreation, Hauptman Linderman had demonstrated, the rear was nor too bad almost pleasant, but the front was pure agony.
She remembered floating down over Midsomer St Andrew swinging from the parachute in her nuns habit, wishing she had remembered to wear knickers, and the reception committee waiting as the three engined Ju 52 Junkers flew back towards Deutschland.
The reception committee were terrible their accents nothing like the BBC, she learned afterwards all Dorsetstershire Yokels spoke like that, but she considered her first duty was to despatch them so she invited each in turn to her room and slit their throats, the last almost spotted the blood pouring out of the cupboard but she got the knife in his wind pipe before he could scream.
Quite how the English could mistake an eighteen year old from Bavaria for a fifty two year old English woman was a mystery until Jane found the Poppy farm and the Opiates factory when she went with Inspector Foyle to act as interpreter at Munsdown Hall, as of course half decent Afgan Shit was hard to come by in war torn Britain.
Jane looked down at Pinkers, sitting in his MG, not even the Overhead Cam model but the cheap eleven hundred CC overhead valve version, Pinkers waiting to inflict unspeakable pain by penetrating some poor wench, he would have to die.
Jane refined her plan over the next few days, she knew Pinkers was to travel to London by train leaving his car at Fly B Knight garage and saw he would travel the straight road past Scrubditch Farm, she reached down her SS book of sabotage instructions and calculated the amount of fuel an MG would use at top speed, and the size of fuel pipe needed to supply this, any less and the car would break down, she realised squeezing the pipe to 2.33457 millimetres would cause the car to stop right by the giant Oak tree, along the Scrubditch road and that evening clutching a pair of pliers and a Zeiss micrometer she did the devious deed.
Morning came, an Owl hooted, Jane carefully blew its tiny brains out with her silenced Schmeiser sub machine gun and sat and waited under the mighty tree, she heard the sound of a tortured six cylinder engine, as with its tyres howling and driver Alf Biggins wrestling with his cigarette, morning paper and earthenware half gallon Cider Jar, the morning bus hurtled towards Arthon in the Marsh Station, and Catspissford Canning where they had the stray pet shelter and pie factory which provided work and cheap tasty meals for the local populace.
Silence returned, and Jane dozed dreaming of far away lands, Wansdyke, Newton Abbottsford, Cumbran and of her heroes, Al Capone, Erwin Rommel, and of course Jacques le Ripper.
The MG was coming, she could hear the engine struggling, not running cleanly but suffering fuel starvation, it was too soon, Pinkers had shut the engine down and was coasting, her plan had failed, she peered out, she had miscalculated, the car had stopped two metres short.
Pinkers was searching for his thin long handled screwdriver when the shadows fell across him, he turned and saw an old crone advancing steadily from the direction of the Oak Tree and he realised in an instant that she had tampered with his car to bring him to a helpless halt, he panicked until he remembered Lance Corporal Jones instructions to the boys in his class at elementary school, "Don't Panic" he had shouted after he had accidentally shot the entire upper sixth with a Gatling Gun.
The old crone approached, her Schmeiser in her hands,"Guten Tag" she greeted him.
Pinkers instinctively grabbed a cricket ball from his luggage and threw it high in the air then sweeping his tennis racket from the luggage straps he served the ball faultlessly between the old crones eyes.
She staggered back, stunned, Pinkers seized the moment and wrote a long last will and testament which he folded inside his jacket before approaching the aged hag, he looked at her greying hair, the lined forehead and the pallid complexion, he knew no one would believe him that she had threatened him with the gun so decided he would just humilliate her slightly and fix the car.
Pinkers propped Jane's surprisingly light body against the Oak tree and unbuttoned his flies, the old John Thomas was in flaccid mode and he struggled to aim the stream of piss at her face, but with a supreme effort soon the stinking yellow beer laden urine was washing her aged visage.
Suddenly Pinkers saw to his astonishment that the grey hair was turning Gold, and the pallor and wrinkles vanishing, she was wearing makeup to make her look older, Pinkers realised immediately that this could mean only one thing. She batted for the other side, a left hander, enjoyed the pleasures of Lesbos, she was a Lesbian.
Pinkers grabbed the spare can of water and carefully chucked it over her from a range of six feet, she stirred, opened her eyes and spoke softly, "You must Die Schwine, hand me the Gun so I may shoot you like a Rat."
"Not so fast, Lesbian" he cried, "I know your sort, and I know what to do about you, I shall report you to the Vicar."
Pinkers was becoming aware of intense pain, his John Thomas was swelling uncontrollably and as he only had two fly buttons undone the blood supply to his helmet was being restricted.
Jane gazed at the member, remembering her own agonising experience with one barely half the diameter, but in her dazed state it somehow seemed beautiful, she reached out with her left hand, gently touched the tip and was rewarded by a shower of creamy white ejaculate. She absent mindedly licked the cum from her fingers, she was not used to salty cream and in her dazed state though it amusing.
"You bloody bitch" cried Pinkers, "nobody laughs at my pecker, I won best prong three terms running at Sandhurst I'll have you know, and I have never had a complaint," and in his fury he dragged her to the ground.
PC Harrington was struggling to see straight, as he cycled uncertainly along the long straight road past Scrubditch farm he sort of remembered arriving at the Dog and Duck just after ten o'clock after Miss Marbles had sent young Roger round to complain they were open after hours, but then it was a bit of a blur, he remembered having a glass of something to quench his thirst but from then until the Landlord found him in bed with his wife he could remember precisely nothing.
He saw Pinkers car parked and noted the Guiness beer bottle label in the Tax Disc holder, he fell off his bike with excitement, "I'll have you Pinkers, I bloody got you now!"
Harrington, heard noises, he strode unsteadily to the gate and saw Pinkers pink bottom staring back at him, and the old bitch Marbles naked crotch beyond.
"Excuse me Mr Pinkerton, might I have a word." he asked politely.
Pinkers looked round, "Fuck off I'm just about to point Percy at the Vagina, teach the old trout some manners."
"Very good sir, give her one from me while you're at it sir, I'll overlook the tax disc this time sir."
Harrington smiled, that old bitch needed a good shafting.
Jane shook her head, her hair cascaded around her neck in a snowstorm of white powder, Pinkers Pinkerton was undoing her Bodice and her Brassiere, her pale pink breasts spilled out her golden nipple rings with their swastica emblems shining in the sunlight, she had not worn any knickers and with her thick dress around her waist there was no defence against Pinkers' rejuvenated advancing rampant prong.
She wished she could faint but she watched in detached fascination as it advanced and he shuffled slowly forward, his advancing knees forcing her legs ever wider.
Jane knew her fate was inescapable, and as a good resourceful former member of the Hitler Youth she sought to minimise her pain, scooping the spent cum from her chest and shoulders and lubricating herself with it, she realised he was going for the front orifice and she prayed she would remember to scream in english.
She felt her labia being eased apart, Pinkers Prong slid further in, she braced herself for the excruciating pain, her eyes tight shut her fingers like claws raking Pinkers back, the moment was unending, waiting, dreading the pain, she felt her body stretched, unused muscles stretched, towards their limits but where was the pain, a warm sensation spread around her crotch, she was aware she was disgracefully wet with her own secretions, she peered down, his entire prong was filling her, how could this be? there was no pain.
His balls were slapping against her, he was humming, he was happy, he was humiliating her, taking her without her commanding officers permission, without first signing a requisition in triplicate. He must die, but perhaps not quite yet, she did not find his kisses upon her neck entirely distasteful, and perhaps if her were to put some more effort into his thrusting, like an experienced SS officer would have been trained to do then the experience would not have been entirely unpleasant.
"Thrust harder, In, Out, In, Out keep time to the Horst Wessel Gsang" she ordered in German, which Pinkers did not understand, but he did realise she had the potential to be a grade A fuck, with a bit of practice and he was sure Mrs Barber who ran Midsomer St Mary Escorts would take her on for the summer and show her the ropes if he put in a word for her.
Jane was floating, her mind in ecstasy Pinkers thrusting away energetically, her crotch and tits flooding her mind with beautiful thoughts. She had the Eureka moment, this was as good as doing drugs, so what if Pinkers did this to her all the time, well every morning, and twice at night and every Thursday and Saturday afternoon because they were early closing, and five times on sundays and bank holidays, then she would save eighteen shillings and sixpence each week on her crack cocaine bill.
She whispered lovingly. "If you become my lover I shall not blow your brains out my Darling"
"Sorry old bean promised to Charlie, her dads got a mansion"
"I have a hand grenade" Jane countered.
"Fair enough," said Pinkers "I'll have a word with the Bishop see when we can get the Cathedral" and with that he came and flooded Jane's womb with his seed, his brave British seed invading her proud Nazi eggs. The same eggs which in just nine months produced Getchen, Wolfgang and Mary, their beloved triplets.
So Janes attempt to kill Pinkers failed, although a shag every thirty mintes for three days would surely have killed a lesser man, Pinkerton's prong withstood the test.
Testimony indeed to the wisdom of the lecturers at Sandhurst and the planners who sited the Horse guards Barracks next to the greatest concentration of brothels in the entire British Empire.
To be continued
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Lisa looked at Miss Sanders with horrified, young blue eyes. Her teacher was standing over her naked body with a long, sinister whip that dangled to the floor. Several teasing passes had been made along the inside of her thighs; and one, cruel blow had administered a searing, red welt across her backside. Now Miss Sanders was about to add a special surprise for the precocious girl. "It made me faint when I first experienced it," said the teacher. ...
Love StoriesThis is a female authoritarian sissy boy story, although with a (mostly) softer touch than many others. There is sugar and spice and everything sissy-nice! So, if lots of frilly outfits, swishy milk-sop behavior and a little kinky sex are your thing, please read on. If not, thanks for looking anyway. It is also a purely fictional fantasy work. No references are intended to portray any actual persons, places or events whether past or present. This chapter is rated X, as there is...
Well I’ll never forget Miss Burns, that’s for sure. Not for as long as I live! You have to remember that this took place back in the mid 1960’s. As a sixteen year old schoolboy I and my mates had the usual sexual urges, which were very much frustrated for us. We had no internet, no mobile phones, no hardcore porn readily available. My small group of friends were not the types who were popular with girls, we were what you call “nerdy” these days. We were keen consumers of the kind of soft-core...
Hi, I am sahil verma from amritsar, 23 year yeh meri pehli Kahani hai, likhne me koi glti ho to maaf karna. 6 mahine purani baat hai, main apne dost sunil ke bhai ki shadi mein gaya tha, waha ladki ki taraf se kuch stars bhi aaye the, jin mein Harbhajan Mann, Jimmy Shergil, Kamal Heer, Miss Pooja aur Neeru Bhajwa shamil the, jin mein se mera sabh se favorite Jimmy tha, maine socha Jimmy se hello hi kar leni chahiye phir kya pata kabh moka mille. Main Jimmy k pass gya usko wish kiya to usne bade...
Miss Evans - Part 1 By Pamela ([email protected]) Ted Evans had some tough times after he exited the military. Two tours of duty in war zones had taken its toll on his ability to fit in back in the states. One thing led to another and he ended up homeless, partly due to the fact that the country was in the midst of a deep recession and jobs were hard to find. It wasn't so bad in the spring and summer but as the weather got colder in late fall, he had reached rock bottom and...
He was leaned back in the low-backed armchair, one hand wrapped around his drink and the other fisted in Miss's long hair. His dress shirt was partially unbuttoned, revealing a hint of his muscular chest. She was on her knees before him and had his slacks open and his boxers pulled down just enough, bobbing her mouth up and down on his shaft as he guided her with his firm grip. She took him deep into her throat, not gagging at all as she had when he had first started teaching her. She had...
Oral Sex?It's nine a.m. and this is Dougie the Dog here at WKGC, and we're back with ClaudiaLeary, better known as Claudia Canary. You're amazing, Claudia! Sixty millionalbums, four Grammy's and seven American Music Awards, and recently you werenamed best pop female vocalist at ToneFest!? ?Thanks, Dougie, you're too kind, and I couldn't have done it without thepeople who work behind me?? ?Oh, no you're remarkable. My daughter has the poster for your movie, as well.But what I wanted to talk about...
Sadly thoughts of Miss Harcourt leapt into my consciousness at the most inopportune moments and so when I set to sorting out father's accounts it was of no surprise that the name Harcourt at once jumped out at me. It was when I selected the ledger from a year ago by mistake, a payment in the name of Harcourt, from Messrs Newboulton and Biggin,and quite a considerable sum paid at the very end of July. No such entry appeared for the last year but identical ones for the prior year and...
CHAPTER 1‘What are you supposed to do when the last of the best people you have ever known is now gone?’ That was the singular thought that rewound in my brain and heart as I sat among these people. These people were, at least for the most part, good people. Most of them were here only to pay their respects, also. Not all of them, though, and I could pick those out of the group. And it was easy; they didn’t even know I was probably doing it, either. Checking each one of them out individually,...
Carrie Laakkonen kissed Jessica’s lips gently and smiled. She loved the girl with the flowing long red hair more than anything in the world. She didn’t even care about the risk that the girls had been taking by seeing one another in Carrie’s bedroom for nearly two months now. The Deputy Head Girl at Alannah Lawrence Girls’ College knew the consequences if the two girls were discovered in her bedroom together, but the seventeen-year-old knew that the chances of being discovered were slim thanks...
SpankingThis is a female authoritarian sissy boy story, although with a softer touch than many others. There is sugar and spice and (mostly) everything sissy-nice! So, if lots of frilly outfits, swishy behavior and a little kinky sex are your thing, please read on. If not, thanks for looking anyway. It is also a purely fictional fantasy work. No references are intended to portray any actual persons, places or events whether past or present. This chapter is rated R, however, some future...
Miss Piggy gets a lap dance by a female stripper after Elizabeth Banks kiss, left her wanting more much more. December 12, 2021 Los Angeles. 9:00 PM The Pussycat Stripclub Miss… Miss Piggy gets a lap dance by a female stripper after Elizabeth Banks kiss, left her wanting more much more. December 12, 2021 Los Angeles. 9:00 PM The Pussycat Stripclub Miss Piggy arrived in her limo at the Stripclub's entrance. Although she had called earlier she had to steady herself as she exited the vehicle...
LesbianIt was a masterpiece.There was no other way of describing the work of art that had mysteriously appeared on the whiteboard in Mrs. Halliday’s Form class. The picture covered almost the entire board, was awash with colour and would give the Year Twelve girls in Nancy Halliday’s Form class a damned good laugh when they walked into the room at 8.40am that morning.It was a portrait that even the mysterious Banksy would have been proud of, but there would be no way that this would be removed from...
SpankingMISS ANDIPetronella Courcheval, manager of the PainCafe’s Gift Shop, looked enthusiastically at F.X. Copeland’s newest creation. ?It’s an android?? she said. ?God, it looks just like me.?And it was—black hair in a Cleopatra cut, full lips like purple berries, intense hazel eyes, cantaloupe breasts encased in a purple halter?and long, fishnet legs. It was Petti to a tee.?Yes’m.? Cope grinned. ?I had to have a model, a muse, like?you’re so cute, y’know.?Petti smiled. Cope was so guileless. He...
Helen Downey sat in Jasmine Storey’s office, nervously awaiting her annual appraisal. She knew that she had performed adequately enough to pass her newly qualified teacher induction but was never sure about whether it was good enough to meet the strict Deputy Head Mistress’ standards. Ms. Storey opened her filing cabinet and spent a few moments flicking through the collection of documents until she found Helen Downey’s teaching file and removed it, gently closing the drawer and walking back to...
SpankingPart I David watched from the window as the car pulled around the corner and out of sight. It was Friday evening, and now he’d have the house to himself for the whole weekend. He was looking forward to relaxing at home for a couple days before he had to go back to the real world on Monday. He decided to take a shower because he wanted to be nice and clean for what he was planning to do. He made sure to wash himself thoroughly. He admired his cock as he cleaned the long semi-erect shaft....
It was the cook who?d heard the rumour first. It seemed incredible, but Rab had skulked outside the captain?s door and had heard her voice. He hadn?t been able to hear what they were saying, but he?d said their tone was sombre. There were those, of course, who?d said a single woman shouldn?t have been on the ship in the first place, but Tom had listened to the speech she?d given when she?d first boarded and he?d been impressed. She?d introduced herself then as Laura Berkeley, the daughter of...
Miss Johnson FF/M By [email protected] I look back at my early education, one teacher who met a lot to me was Miss Johnson. She taught my sixth grade class, and she helped me get serious about my education. Up until that time, school to me was just something you had to sit through. Until I had Miss Johnson as a teacher, I didn't do my homework, and I didn't pay attention in class.When and where I went to school, corporal punishment was allowed. All of the teachers had a paddle that hung...
SpankingIt was the summer of 1955, I had just turned sixteen. I had been saving my lawn mowing money for years in hopes of buying a car. First I had to take my tests for my drivers license, which I passed with flying colors. Then I set my sights on finding the car of my dreams. At the third used car lot, I found it, a red 1951 Ford convertible. I almost came in my pants, I was so excited. The lot salesman and I haggled a while on the price and we agreed on a price of twelve hundred dollars. That almost...
TabooEventually, Chloe Williams had managed to stand up and stood, rubbing her eyes and wiping her nose with her hands as she stood in the far corner of Miss Marks’ office. The young Head Mistress smiled at Amber as she got up from the chair, which she turned around and placed in front of her desk. Next, she picked the clothes brush and paddle up from the floor and placed them back on her desk before she took hold of the large, dark brown slipper in her left hand. She playfully tapped it against the...
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