Seoul Bound 2
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SEOUL BOUND PART ONE
I didn't realize at the time but we had a very gifted basketball coach in
our grade school principal. One of his secrets that added to his success
was having the whole team pass medicine balls back and forth for five
uninterrupted minutes. Young players can't handle a basket-ball if they
have no arm strength. A second stroke was each player needed to sink
eight out of ten free throws before they could join the scheduled
practice. The third was zone playing and passes to teammates while
looking in another direction. Surprisingly this was not too hard of a
concept for fifth graders. A fifth-grade basketball team, with no
particular grandiose talent that was undefeated and a coach that sought
older teams that could compete with his rag tag group of fifth graders.
An agreement was reached and we soon found ourselves with a pick-up game.
Unbeknownst to us an eight-grade team was on the docket. Not only did we
beat them, but a strange phenomenon occurred while I was playing.
I had intercepted a pass by the opposing team and proceeded to perform a
critical point to send us into overtime. I would like to claim it was the
victory scoring basket but I do not feel like embellishing this story as
it gets wild enough on its own merits. As I dribbled down the lane the
crowd became animated. But as I approached the free throw line a strange
thing happened. Everything became quiet and time seemed to slow down. I
was frozen in a zone that I never knew existed. Every sense that mattered
was on hypo drive. What was obviously a couple of seconds seemed to
expand into at least twelve seconds of undisrupted quite solitude. Having
made the basket, time and sound reappeared. Never had I experienced
something like that before or since. There must be something out there
that we do not fully understand.
That was an awesome game. Dan and I had another great memory to solidify
our friendship. Dan and I have been friends since early childhood. He
lived two houses down. Well, across from our side-yard as two
neighborhoods were seamed together at our juncture. All of our childhood
time was spent together as is want to happen.
Sometimes friendships are a mere acceptance of those around us as a
geographical interlude allows. I believe that anyone could find the
highest qualities of any individual if enough time occurred in the
accidental happenstance that throws people together. Dan and I are just
such a friendship.
Dan had many faults. I may have been endowed with some minor ones. But I
never had the scholastic institution convinced that math was too hard of
a subject for my personal situation. Dan had, and to his great scheme he
no longer needed to perform those mundane homework assignments. I seemed
to be the only person to cast doubts on the validity of these claims. Dan
was not a disabled learner he was out and out lazy. The amount of work
needed to perpetuate his facade seemed to be at odds with his elevated
level of laziness.
Winter brought on a new set of happenings. My family, poor as they were
owned a few sleds. Dan and I met and brought the toboggan and steel
runner to the school's snow-covered hill. I warned Dan not to leave me
this time bringing the sleds home alone. Hours of skating down the hill
on sleds that were stamped with warnings to never do just that and soon
the darkness and cold started to envelope us. Like clockwork Dan was too
cold and proceeded home, once again I swore to never let Dan have the
upper hand. Never had I been so wrong in my oaths.
Dan and I had a tumultuous relationship as far back as I can remember.
Our family's indifference or in my case outright hatred of my existence,
sealed a friendship that may otherwise may have never had blossomed. But
as it was, we were fast and loyal. Two friends to the foreseeable end. We
found solace in each other's company.
His was a broken home. A construction worker father with a beer can
collection that contained more value in his eyes than his family, had
moved out and divorced his mother. Nowadays this is no big deal, but back
then this was a black mark and a single mother providing for four
children could get very difficult. Adults never talked about child
support or made disparaging comments about children's parents, that may
or not be meeting their obligations. I would offer my cast-off toys to
him and his smaller siblings.
My family also did not have much in spare income but often my father
would receive toys from customers whose children had outgrown them. Also,
in construction, my father had a small operation that mostly consisted of
hanging aluminum siding. Sometimes he may have up to three helpers if
he was really booming, but often he worked alone. But we lived on a nice
grass covered lot with a large garden that supplemented our table and had
life's comforts even if they were derived second hand.
It was always a welcome addition when my father would receive another
bike. Dan and I liked nothing more than contriving ramps and jumping
these, hand me downs. On the corner lot to the South of my parents' house
was a small creek with a path that ran through it. The drop off was about
six and half feet with a rounded landing spot. It was a favorite way
home. We never circled around and continually jumped it, but we never
missed an opportunity to launch off the edge every time we came this way.
It was the closest thing to flying that I could imagine. This use of
these bikes was somewhat hard on their structures. Thank God for a
somewhat steady supply of free bikes.
My mother was so angry. My birthday had rolled around and my father had
made an extravagant purchase. A daisy BB-gun. Single action and at thirty
feet would penetrate a Kal-can dog food can. Cans back then were very
stout. As it turns out it was the continued purchase of BB's that was my
mother's concern. So, my father took some coil stock making a target box
and lined the back with four layers of an old tarp. Now all the BB's
could be reused. This worked. I had unlimited free target practice. My
mother was placated.
Dan wanted a go. Who wouldn't? I told him to set up the cans in the
target. He kneeled down in front of the target with one leg up and the
other stretched out behind him. As he got to the sample gun lubricator
can that was about the size of a fingernail polish bottle, the round
cylinder kind, he presented a once in a lifetime target opportunity. One
of my small faults surfaced. Laying on the ground thirty feet back with
the gun strap wrapped around my forearm for stability, I shot the tiny
can out of his fingers through his perfectly window creating legs, just
before it was to be put into position.
This is the closest I've ever seen Dan almost speechless and on the edge
of loosing it. I heard sounds coming from my shocked friend before
incoherent words formed. "You could have, you shot...you could have hit
my..." on and on while I laughed my ass off and relished pulling off one
hell of a shot. Yah, I could hang up the gun now, never will I be able to
top that one. My childhood's crowning achievement. Well to placate Dan, I
basically was his target set up guy for the remainder of the afternoon.
Young boys can tender their forgiveness for such little arbitrary
agreements. Although I was a little leery that he might try a similar
shot, the day progressed without incident and Dan finally found the humor
in what had transpired earlier. He walked through the hedgerow back to
his house. Again, I put the target away by myself as Dan walked away.
This time I could not hold a grudge for his action, he was still a little
pissed off.
My family was fond of traveling down to the Ozarks. Lake Bull Sholes in
particular. Water so clear that you could not sneak up on the fish. Dan
and I traveled down there for some fun and relaxation. God it was fun to
be on our own with no parents intruding their control over us. The roads
were rollercoaster like back in the hills and it was fun just getting to
any of our destinations. We ended hanging out on a dock that was also a
bar right next to a bait station. Seventeen years old and a little
bootlegged hootch and a small cache of earned summer job cash and we were
on cloud nine. I didn't take a lot of money to get what we wanted from
life. Soon two girls were sizing us up. A little fling on a summer outing
for their preverbal notch on their belt. Where do girls put their
notches? We ended up snogging but as the events unfolded both girls
disappeared with Dan. The Ozarks was fun and relaxing but Dan seemed to
be the one up on that episode.
Dan and I seemed destined to spend a plethora of time together as one
happenstance or another basically left us abandoned by our families. Not
that once in a great while, our families tried to reconnect to their
offspring that they, for whatever reason had negated. But at some point,
due to survival necessities, we become naturally guarded. It isn't
anything mean spirited or revengeful it just basically occurs.
CHAPTER TWO
Graduation, a right of passage and a stepping stone into the abyss. What
do we do now? Our families are not literally kicking us to the curb but
something seems different. An expectation for what should follow. Do we
go to college; join the construction workforce or join the military.
Let's, go to Gangnam-gu. Like in the video. One thing we have never done
is see another culture and why not Seoul. It took longer than expected to
get our passports and our parents were growing impatient. Soon enough
they could be shod of us.
It was a little bit of a stretch but we pulled it off. My parents
actually kicked in their credit card induced miles and paid for one of
our tickets. Air B n B made the other end solid. We were soon on our way.
Holy crap we have been in all sorts of airports and on planes that it is
amazing they don't seem to run out of fuel. Forever and another day with
a short stop-over in China, only there long enough to drop a duce; be
confronted by extremely rude women employees and notice that employees
were treated one step above slaves. We finally landed in Seoul. Now we
needed to figure out how to cheaply navigate to our B n B. Burger King to
the rescue. On offer is a shrimp patty whopper or as I chose a garlic
whopper. It was delicious but I can not comment on the shrimp patty
Whopper as it looked just like it sounded. My breath is now atrocious.
But I feel reenergized as our feet hit the pavement and we are no longer
held in the confines of modern-day travel. My spine really appreciates
the new found movements.
The train brings us into our desired area and we land in a spectacular
subway system that is mind boggling deep within the Earth's belly. No
idea as to where any of these fast-moving trains head we ascend to the
surface with our meager bags in tow. How do handicap people deal with all
of this? We hail a cab and hand him a destination. A whole lot of these
people speak English, those that don't despite this fact are very
helpful. Our taxi driver takes us to some alley. The price of his ride
seems fair, but are we in the right place? The address matches and we
"walk up" four flights to our accommodations. The lock box yields are
access to entry. We are now home for the next month and a half.
Dan is hungry and in this sparse apartment there is nothing that would
fill a belly. However, several former guests have left pans and some
spices to use in the preparations of meals. There is a single dresser for
guests that serve as their area for their belongings. The bathroom has a
shower that engulfs the whole bathroom with a washer and dryer with 220
outlets plugged in that seems unsafe. I'm still ok from the garlic burger
consumed earlier. All we need to do now is find a grocery store.
Everything is in walking distance. It's strange we seem to be in a high-
rise area that is ghetto but has been occupied by the very wealthy. This
is evidenced by extremely expensive cars littering every place possible.
Based on how these people park their cars and escape open windows with
only inches to spare, no one would believe the pleather of South Koreans
that can't drive in the United States. I wonder if it is a plot to put
the Americans at ease. Too what end I can not fathom. We find a "grocery
store" and proceed to shop. It isn't much larger than a convenience store
back in the states, but based on the refrigerator size back at the walk
up it seems appropriate.
As we are walking, we are in the path of wealthy South Koreans. Our paths
meet and the wife expects us to acquiesced her natural given right of
passage. When we didn't differ to her supposed superiority she apologized
and moved from our path. Different cultures were what we sought but this
was a weird interlude. No idea what this exchange meant we took it as a
small victory but we were not sure. We continued back to our walk up and
the four-flight climb was a welcome exercise that would be a constant.
Tomorrow we would see what the draw was in this designation. The
television programing basically had four topics. Bad kung fu movies;
nature videos, shows dedicated to noodle soups and programs dedicated to
repetitive actions that were uncommonly familiar with this population.
This last category featured an individual that was pulling the correct
amount to fabricate a part for production that required three grams of
material. The mechanical devise was not successful but this individual
could pull the required amount more that 99 percent of the time.
Hopefully something would grab our attention tomorrow. There was a
government liaison building to inform tourists what was available to
them. Upon arriving there we were armed with new vigor.
As we looked for the tourist enticements it was a while before we
realized we were standing on one of the draws, ancient stone steps. WTF,
these were the paths for access to the homes to the businesses below.
Stone steps my ass. We decided to go and have a cup of coffee at the
"Shut up and drink your coffee caf?", many of the businesses here liked
American names but missed the mark in a most jovial way. There was not
much to do here but we could make the most of it. We pretty much had too.
Walking around we noticed high end shopping and a plethora of cosmetic
surgery centers. Restaurants with high end and restaurants with working
man's expectations. Predominantly we enjoyed the working man's
establishments. The weird thing is that with the utensils a pair of
scissors was always involved. Upon observing the locals this was for the
noodles. But when they took the prized confection into their gullet, the
use of the scissors was 10" below where you would expect the cut to
occur. Then they would suck their allotted noodles up into their waiting
mouths. The really strange part is that nothing would land on their
outfits. How could such a vulgar display of human consumption of a meal
not destroy their outfits. Twelve inches of what looked too massive of
noodles covered in whatever broth, being sucked into the waiting
consumer. Again, and again this was played out in their normal
consumption of food. What is considered repulsive in my opinion of normal
cultures is par for the course here. With each meal a plethora of
fermented foods, some with hot peppers added, everything seemed slightly
disjointed.
When we entered a Papa John's Pizza parlor, we understood that we were
not in the States any longer. We received our meat lovers' version but
also was included was a white pint size container. Upon opening the not
asked for addition to our pizza we discovered pickles. ???? The pizza was
essentially the same, but when in Rome, we had pickles with our pizza. It
wasn't bad but it wasn't good. I didn't get the exercise.
CHAPTER 3
Ok, there seems to be dynasty palaces from the forgone past that were
preserved for posterity. So, in the middle of a huge urban area there are
compounds that some of the third rated kung-fu movies were filmed. This
we have to see. When we arrived each and everyone of these historic
places had stone walls that dated back some parts to the thirteenth
century. Witnessing this was pretty cool. Locals rented period costumes
and paraded around what these people called palaces, as if. I found this
to somewhat strange, but to each their own. The one thing that I did
enjoy were the pleather of signs that warned of an edge that would hurt
you if you fell from it. This is clearly much more cost effective than
putting up safety rails. All of these palaces were essentially the same.
Now we are in Seoul and there really isn't much to do here. We might as
we enjoy what it has to offer. High end restaurants that look like a hole
in the wall Chicago style, except there is some sort of fish tank in
front of most of these places. We leave the general area and head for the
main road. The nicer places do occupy these areas. Lush greenery
surrounds one particular establishment that has stood out as different
than all of the other establishments. A coy pond sits on the far end of
the parking lot and you can almost forget that you are in an urban area
as you walk forward. A menu board decries the offered far and prices so
that no one is caught off guard. Next to it is a very clean fish tank
filled with puffer fish.
I'm drawn to them as they seem so interested in me. If they were not fish
of the ocean, I would swear that they were puppy dogs. These puffer fish
are very friendly and somewhat inquisitive. They didn't know they were
offered on the menu. Dan mentions that we should test our mortality by
ordering them. I had no idea what he was talking about, but the idea of
consuming such delightful creatures didn't sit well with me.
Two beautiful Korean women passed us while we were deciding. This helped
us to commit to this establishment, especially as they gave us a once
over as they entered. Following them into the restaurant, we were seated
with a beautiful view of the surrounding grounds and these two exquisite
creatures. Dan wanted to have the blow fish as he had heard that this was
a right of passage. If the fish was not dispatched correctly the consumer
could die. If it was prepared correctly the dinner would have a tingling
on their pallet. Thus, cheating death and establishing their manhood.
Once we ordered we were escorted back outside to pick our victims. This
was horrible, but once committed I didn't have a choice but to capitulate
or loose face in front of my friend and a waiter that I would never see
again. The waiter was followed by kitchen staff that quickly ensnared our
dinner and dispatched them right in front of the remaining victims. Right
there in front of what I perceived to be a very scared audience he
proceeded to disembowel our dinner and presumably make safe our meal for
consumption. All of the fish stared wide eyed at the spectacle unfolding
before their eyes. I didn't welcome our soon to be feast.
Back at our table the two women that enticed us forward were already
receiving their meal. King Crab legs and a lot of them. These women were
decked out as any I've ever seen. The big difference was their use of
pantihose, a clothes item that seems to have lost favor in the states.
They had on silk dresses that were pleasingly short revealing a plethora
of legs. Full make up earrings, three deep, high heels and handbags to
match. In short, they were out on the town and dressed appropriately. I
had no complaints.
Each took a swig of their blood red wines that adorned their table and
matched their fingernails, then I fell in love. They picked up these
overly large crab legs and began gnawing at their hard ends. Once through
the hard shell they sucked the meat from the length. While doing this
they squeezed their pantihose sheathed legs together sending an erotic
message while staring at me and Dan. I could not take my eyes off of
these other worldly creatures that had captivated me. I couldn't help but
to stare at their high heal shod feet and trace up their oriental perfect
legs surrounded by expensive hosiery to where their legs disappeared
beneath genuine silk dresses that revealed more than they concealed or
flattered. Their lips with overdone lip gloss sitting above some lip
color stuck ever so slightly to their meal and sent me into a new level
of hardon. I hope these women are not doing this accidently. They could
cause a lot of damage through the years if they acted this provocatively
but never had designs on somebody.
Our meal arrived. Two temptations at literally death. We could prove our
manhood with the consumption of food that many had known was deadly. Who
figured out how to consume such a creature? And did something so innocent
have to suffer for our bravado? Well we can't very well let their
sacrifice go in vain. Here is to risking one's life to prove our standing
in the testosterone enriched world we have been encased in. As my fork
took its proffered sacrifice, I looked up to be beheld by those beautiful
creatures that were gnawing at their next, morsal.
Suddenly I was mimicking their actions and my flesh covered fork lost its
meat tainted with the utmost slight amount of poison. Down into my
stomach with a strange vibration that was the tell tail signs that you
were consuming something that was prepared correctly but would remind you
of its danger. We ordered some drinks to smooth the transaction but were
brought something else entirely. Apparently, these women did have some
design on us, but I wasn't complaining. I could not take my eyes off of
them. The drinks from our exquisite entertainment for the night were a
little sweet which wasn't completely to my liking but I could not
complain.
The real surprise is that these two beautiful Korean women ordered a
second go of the King crab legs. Also, they sent more drinks to our
table. Long ago having finished our potentially dangerous meal we sat in
awe of these beautiful sexy women. It might be juvenile but their actions
definitely had us captivated along with most of the men and some of the
women in this establishment. I really do hope that they are genuinely
interested in Dan and I. After they had consumed all but two of their
meal morsels, they approached our table. They asked me to perform as
they had done with both of these huge crab legs. I obliged. I don't know
why but I did, having seen them through several dozen, I already knew how
so I did. This seemed to delight them and they offered to join us for the
evening.
Clover
- 06.09.2020
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