Sylvie's Mommydaddy
By B. Willow
My wife Megan passed away six weeks ago. Both my daughter Sylvie and I
are having a difficult time adjusting to our loss. Megan learned she
had pancreatic cancer only four months before we lost her. Those four
months were the most difficult I had ever experienced both because I was
losing the love of my life but also trying to prepare Sylvie for the
loss of her mother and trying to figure out what life would be without
my Megan. Megan and I had had nine wonderful years together. Sylvie
and Megan were almost inseparable and as a family we had a fantastic
time together. Sylvie is a very precocious eight year old.
After work I picked Sylvie up at after-school daycare. She was very
quiet riding home, not the usual Sylvie. We got home and she went to
her room to put her things away. I was in the kitchen preparing dinner
when Sylvie came in.
"Daddy I miss Mommy so much."
"I miss Mommy too."
I bent over and gave Sylvie a big hug. The house was so quiet without
Megan's lively conversation and laughter. How I missed her. I got the
plates and silverware out so Sylvie could set the table, hoping that
doing something would help. Tonight I didn't have the energy to fix a
meal from scratch so it was a boxed mac and cheese, which happened to be
Sylvie's favorite meal. We didn't say much. Once I saw a tear make its
way down Sylvie's cheek. After we were done eating Sylvie cleared the
table and I rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. After
things were taken care of Sylvie and I went into the living room.
"Sylvie, would you like me to read you a book."
Megan used to read a book every evening after we ate, so I figured it
was best not to break the routine. So, every evening Sylvie and I read a
book.
"Why don't you run and find a book you would like me to read to you?"
Sylvie came back with one of her three favorite books, a book I had
heard Megan read to her countless times. She would have a favorite that
would last for a couple weeks, then discover a new one but this one
lasted longer perhaps because it was the last one Megan had read to her.
I sat in the big chair in the living room and Sylvie crawled up into my
lap and rested he head on my chest. As I read I felt something wet on
my arm. Sylvie had tears in her eyes. I stopped and gave her a hug.
After the book Sylvie went to her room to play with her dolls. At 8:30
I went in and had Sylvie use the bathroom, then put on her pajamas, and
tucked her in. She gave me a hug and I gave her a kiss on the cheek and
wished her good night. As I left she asked me to leave the door open a
little so it wouldn't be all dark in her room.
I read for a while then headed to bed about 10:00. I showered, put on
my pajamas and crawled into bed myself, by myself. I missed Megan so.
I missed her closeness, the soft caresses, and the intimacy. It was as
if Megan was still here in a way, the fragrance of her perfume and the
fragrance of the sachets she put in her lingerie drawers still lingered
in our room, my room.
The remainder of the week things were pretty much the same. Sylvie to
school, me to work, pick up Sylvie, make dinner, read a book, put Sylvie
to bed, watch the news, then go to bed myself. It was still hard for
both of us.
Saturday morning Sylvie came into my room, gave me a kiss, and crawled
under the covers, and snuggled up to me. It was the same every Saturday
and Sunday morning, except it used to be that she crawled into bed
between Megan and I and we had a family snuggle. Now it was Sylvie and
I snuggling. She cuddled up to me and said, "I wish it was you and
Mommy and me." She was quiet for a while and then slid out of bed.
"Daddy close your eyes."
So I did and heard Sylvie open a dresser drawer, in Megan's dresser,
come back and crawl into bed. All of a sudden I sensed Megan's
fragrance close to my face.
"What is it Sylvie?"
"Open your eyes and see."
There was one of Megan's panties inches from my nose.
"Don't they smell like Mommy?"
They did smell like Megan. I picked them up and felt of them and the
fragrance was indeed what I remembered of Megan, sweet and slightly
spicy.
"Daddy, would you wear them, Please!"
"Sylvie, men don't wear women's panties.
"They're not women's, they're Mommy's. I tried them on but they were too
big for me. Daddy I really want you to wear them it is sort of like
having Mommy with you all day. They are so soft and nice, please!"
How could I argue with that! We got up and Sylvie went to get dressed
and I took my shower. I did put them on under my regular clothes and
actually they didn't feel too bad. Sylvie and I made pancakes and bacon
and sat down to eat.
"Are you wearing Mommy's panty?"
"Yes! I'm wearing the panty you gave me this morning."
"Really?"
"Yes really."
"Can I see?"
"Well," and I pulled down my waistband just far enough for Sylvie to see
the pink of the panty." Sylvie was all smiles.
Sunday came around and the same thing happened. Sylvie came in snuggled
in bed with me and brought another of Megan's panties for me. And
again, I promised to wear them all day.
Monday came, we didn't have time to cuddle but Sylvie came into the
bedroom while I was showering and laid a panty on the foot of my bed. I
debated. Could I wear a panty to work? I put the panty on and then
dressed as usual. Sylvie was ready for school and we were in the
kitchen having breakfast.
"Daddy are you wearing one of Mommy's panties?"
"What do you think.....yes I'm wearing the panty you put on the end of
the bed."
And that is the way things went the whole week with Sylvie putting one
of Megan's panties on the bed for me while I was in the shower. Megan's
sister Vicky had offered to bag Megan's clothes up and find some charity
to give them to. I told her no, I would take care of it. Now I don't
know if that was such a good idea. Thursday Sylvie came with a new
wrinkle. We were reading her favorite book. Sylvie was sitting on my
lap resting her head on my chest.
"You know Daddy I like when you read to me."
"I like reading to you too."
"But there is one thing I liked better when Mommy read to me."
"What's that?"
"Well when I put my head against Mommy she was so soft. I liked to rest
my head on Mommy's boobies."
"I'm afraid Daddy's don't have boobies. Where did you get the word
boobies?"
"When Mommy was here I used to go into your room after Mommy showered
and was getting dressed. We talked about lots of things. We talked
about school, growing up, clothes, lots of things. I asked her why she
had to wear a bra and she told me that it helped hold her boobies so
they didn't giggle too much. We talked about how a Mommy had boobies so
she would have milk to give to her baby. We talked about lots of
things."
"You and Mommy were very close. I didn't know you talked about things
like that."
"I used to watch Mommy dress and put on makeup, lots of things. We
talked a lot. I guess that is why I miss her so much. I have an idea
Daddy. Come with me."
Sylvie jumped off of my lap and ran upstairs into my bedroom. She went
to Megan's dresser and was looking for something. In the second drawer
she found what she wanted. She turned around and had a bra which she
brought over to me.
"Daddy could you put this on?" Maybe it would feel like you had boobies
when you read to me if you wore this."
"I'm afraid not, I don't have boobies to put in a bra so I wouldn't be
soft like Mommy."
"Is there something you could do to make it feel like you had boobies?"
"Well, your Mommy and I went to a Halloween party once and I dressed
like Mommy and Mommy dressed like me. Mommy put nylons in the cups so I
looked like I had boobies. Would you like that?"
"Yes, could you do that!"
So I took off my shirt and put on the bra, with a bit of fumbling trying
to get it hooked, and then used two pair of nylons to fill things out.
Sylvie and I went into the living room to finish the book. She climbed
up in my lap and rested her head between my 'boobies.'
"Daddy I love you. And it does feel almost like Mommy, just not as soft
and warm. Could you do the same thing tomorrow when we read my book?"
So now I was wearing Megan's panties and before we read the book putting
on one of her bras filled out with nylons. That was the way things went
for the week. On Wednesday Margaret came over with a hot dish.
"Ron I thought perhaps you and Sylvie would enjoy a change of pace food
wise. I know you are a pretty good cook but something a bit different
might be fun. How is Sylvie doing?"
"Ok, she still misses Megan."
"So do I."
Margaret had been one of Megan's best friends, almost like sisters. She
was in many ways like Megan, beautiful, intelligent, caring, a great
gal. She had gone through a difficult divorce two years ago. She had
wanted children her husband didn't and he was both physically and
verbally abusive.
She had brought over food occasionally and came to see how Sylvie was
doing. Sylvie enjoyed having Margaret come over and sometimes was able
to get Margaret to read her a book. Perhaps now I know why, Margaret
and Megan had similar builds and Sylvie would have boobies to rest her
head on. That wasn't nice, Margaret was just a very thoughtful gal.
When the weekend arrived, Sylvie added another wrinkle. She came into
my bedroom, went to the dresser to get a panty and crawled in beside me
and cuddled.
"Daddy I love you."
"I love you to Sylvie."
"Daddy I have an idea. It will be a surprise."
I didn't know if I liked what might be coming given what surprises
Sylvie had sprung on me lately. But, we had our morning snuggle and
hug. Then Sylvie went to take her shower in the other bathroom and I
took mine. When I came out there was the usual panty on the bed but
Sylvie had added pantyhose, bra and two more nylons, camisole, half-slip
and a dress. It was quite a pile.
"Sylvie!" Sylvie came with a big ear to ear grin.
"What's this," I said pointing to the pile of Megan's clothes on the
bed.
"Would you wear Mommy's clothes? Then you would be sort of a
MommyDaddy."
Sort of a MommyDaddy, well that was original. Now how am I to deal with
this?!
Megan and I were almost exactly the same size, except Megan had had a
few curves that I didn't have and boobies. So I knew the clothes would
most likely fit, but. Did I want this to go any farther? I guess it
would be alright today since we weren't planning on going anywhere. It
was what Sylvie wanted, but I was beginning to wonder if this was really
about Sylvie's loss of a mother or just a game she was playing with her
dad. I decided to go along with it and see where it would go. Sylvie
stood there looking at me expectantly.
"I will put on Mommy's clothes. But it is just between you and me
agreed. Someone else might not understand."
"Daddy, Billy was teasing Sarah about a rip in her dress and he called
me a cry baby when he saw me crying a little about Mommy. When you are
big do people tease other people?"
"Yes, sometimes."
" Promise, I won't tell anyone. It will be just you and me and sort of
like having Mommy and Daddy all mixed up."
"You go into your room and play and I will get dressed."
Sylvie went into her room and there I was looking at Megan's clothes.
Just touching the fabric reminded me of her, the fragrance was Megan.
Oh, how I wish she was here and I could take her into my arms and feel
her close, and the softness of her hair. I missed her as much as Sylvie
did. I put on the panty and bra and used the nylons to fill it out and
put on the pantyhose. I found a pair of Megan's flats, they were a bit
tight but not too bad. Then I put on the camisole and half-slip and
finally slipped on the dress. It all felt so different. It was the bra
band around my chest and the straps over my shoulder. The camisole was
so light and smooth compared to my t-shirts. For that matter I had come
to like the feel of the nylon panties better than my briefs. Then there
was the half slip and then the dress. It really felt strange to have
the air around my legs and the movement of the skirt as I walked. I
thought the pantyhose would be cool, they were so thin, but they felt
sort of warm. Now to go into Sylvie's room so she could see MommyDaddy!
"Daddy!! I mean MommyDaddy you look so different."
"Honey, it feels different. Do I look like Mommy?"
"Yes, but no! Daddy will you come with me."
"Now what?"
"You'll see."
Sylvie led the way to my bedroom and gestured that I should sit down on
the bench by Megan's makeup table. Then Sylvie ran into the bathroom
and came back with a towel, which she draped over my shoulders.
"I'll make you look better now."
"Where did you learn about makeup?"
"I watched Mommy. I even put on lipstick."
Sylvie proceeds to take a handful! of liquid makeup base and smooth it
on my face and neck.
"I have to let it dry and then I will put powder on it."
I think Sylvie used half of the bottle. She let it dry and given the
amount she used it took a while. Then she loaded the powder puff with
way too much powder and powdered my face and neck, and I mean powdered.
Then it was eye shadow, blue to match the dress.
"Don't you use eye liner?"
"No, Mommy didn't let me put on her eye liner, she didn't want me to
poke her in the eye."
And lastly she told me how to hold my mouth and applied lipstick. Right
away I bent down and gave Sylvie a kiss on the cheek.
"Oh, Daddy I have lipstick on my cheek. Look in the mirror Daddy."
"Wow, that is some makeup job."
My hair is collar length and Sylvie asked me to stay seated so she could
brush my hair so it looked more like a girl's. She did, but from the
neck up I looked like a caricature of a woman, but I didn't tell my
little girl that. I remained dressed and in makeup the whole day.
Sylvie would look at me every once in a while and smile. It really did
feel different and the perfume or the scent rising from Megan's clothes
would remind me of my wife.
The next day was Sunday and a repeat of Saturday but with a different
dress. Monday when I washed clothes it was almost like Megan was alive
again. When the laundry was taken out of the dryer and folded, there
was a stack of Megan's lingerie. I put everything back in Megan's
dresser.
Sunday night as I was giving Sylvie a kiss and tucking her in her bed
she said," Daddy can we do this again next Saturday and Sunday?"
"Honey, I will do it one more weekend but then we have to stop. We
can't pretend Mommy is with us. She would want us to keep thinking of
her and remembering her and loving her, but she isn't with us anymore.
Do you understand?
?"Yes, but Daddy I miss Mommy so."
A tear ran down Sylvie's cheek and down mine as well. I gave her
another kiss and turned out the light but left the door open a crack.
Every day while I was in the shower a panty was left on my bed. To be
honest I wore a panty under my work clothes every day and also a
camisole, which I found much softer and more pleasant to wear than a t-
shirt.
On Wednesday evening Margaret came with a hot dish for us. She said she
just wanted to see how we were getting along and wanted to give us a bit
more variety of things to eat. Actually, I was a pretty good cook but
it was nice of Margaret to think about us.
Thursday and Friday came and went and then it was the weekend. I had a
meeting I had to attend Saturday morning and had to tell Sylvie that
MommyDaddy would have to be only in the afternoon on Saturday but all
day Sunday. Sylvie would be going over to her friend Rachel's home and
play and I would pick her up before lunch. And that was our Saturday.
Sylvie picked out the clothes for MommyDaddy and did her makeup. And
Daddy felt very strange wearing his wife's clothes, but found wearing
the clothes not unpleasant. Sylvie did her eight year old's version of
makeup and brushed my hair. So, all afternoon I was MommyDaddy. After
dinner we cleaned up the kitchen and Sylvie played with her dolls. A
couple times she came over and felt of the skirt of the dress I was
wearing and ask for a hug. Before bedtime Sylvie got a favorite book
and crawled in my lap to have me read to her.
"Daddy I really like it when you have boobies."
"Yes, I know but you know they aren't really boobies, men don't have
boobies."
"But I like the way you let me pretend. Daddy I put something special
under your pillow, it is a surprise."
After the book I took Sylvie into her room, gave her a kiss, tucked her
in and said good night.
"Daddy will you be MommyDaddy again tomorrow?"
"Yes, that is what I promised you, ok Honey now go to sleep."
After I put Sylvie to bed I watched the news and then went to take a
shower before going to bed. I just wondered what surprises Sylvie would
have for me tomorrow, for that matter what she had for me tonight.
Evidently whatever it was it she had put her surprise under my pillow
when I had been downstairs putting things away.
When I came out I went and looked under my pillow. What I found was a
surprise! Sylvie had found Megan's black baby doll pajama set. Now
what to do! Well I had promised I would be MommyDaddy one more time
tomorrow and it was Sylvie's surprise, and it was sort of in character.
So, I put on the panty, which luckily was opaque, thankfully not like
the sheer top, and not a thong. In the morning Sylvie came in for her
morning cuddle.
"Daddy how did you like my surprise?"
"It was a real surprise!"
"When you hug me under the covers it almost feels like you are mommy the
pajamas are so soft."
I gave Sylvie a hug and a kiss on the forehead and told her she had to
scoot and get dressed and I headed for my morning shower and shave. I
had the feeling that Sylvie was picking out the clothes for MommyDaddy
while I was in the bathroom, wonder what she will come up with today.
When I came out of the shower there were the clothes for today, with a
giggling Sylvie just peaking around the corner.... luckily I was wearing
a bathrobe.
"Sylvie, now get out of your pjs and get dressed while MommyDaddy gets
dressed."
The usual underthings were there but this time Sylvie had found a black
skirt and pink blouse. The blouse wasn't as opaque as I would like and
the bra showed a bit. After I was dressed Sylvie came in.
"Daddy you look so nice. Can I put your makeup on?"
"Do you really need makeup on MommyDaddy?"
"Yes Mommy always put makeup on and MommyDaddy needs makeup."
I guess there was some eight-year-old logic to that. So Sylvie applied
the base, and the powder, and the eyeshadow, and the lipstick and a
spritz of perfume.
"Daddy it was easier putting on the makeup this time you didn't have the
prickly beard this time."
I gave Sylvie a pucker up kiss on the lips.
"Daddy! Now I have lipstick on my lips."
"I know, how does it taste."
"Sort of like raspberries."
So I was MommyDaddy again, dressed like Megan had been from the skin
out, this time wearing a skirt and blouse. Most guys have big feet but
Megan and I wore the same size shoes and Sylvie had gone into the closet
and found a pair of black shoes with a single strap and two-inch heels
for me to wear. And that is what I was to wear for the day.
The morning and afternoon passed uneventfully. Sylvie played with her
dolls, looked at her books and helped me with some dusting. I had a few
things to do around the house, and there were some things I had to
prepare for before work tomorrow, and I did a bit of reading. At first
I was very aware of what I was wearing but by later in the afternoon I
had gotten rather used to it. Occasionally when I reached a certain way
I felt the bra band or straps and then there were the times when I
caught a hint of Megan's perfume. If anything being MommyDaddy made me
miss Megan all the more. About 4:30 I went into the kitchen to start
making dinner. Sylvie was playing with her dolls in the living room. I
was humming to myself making sort of a throw-together meal. The
hamburger was frying and I was cutting up potatoes.
I didn't realize it but I was in for a surprise. I didn't find out how
things happened until later. Sylvie as I said was in the living room
and evidently saw Margaret's car pull into the drive. She went to the
door before Margaret had a chance to ring the doorbell and let Margaret
in.
"Shhhhh, Daddy is in the kitchen." Sylvie put her finger to her lips
indicating that I should be quiet and tiptoed to the kitchen door.
"Why do we have to be quiet? I brought some cupcakes I made for you."
"You will see."
When Margaret came to the kitchen she was very surprised at what she
saw.
"Ron!? What!"
"Margaret!!!"
Margaret was standing in the doorway to the kitchen her face went from
shock to surprise, finishing with a huge grin. I'd been caught and
didn't really know how to react. Sylvie was standing beside Margaret
with a very serious expression on her face.
"Ron, what is going on?"
"Daddy is my MommyDaddy."
"Sylvie, what do you mean MommyDaddy?"
"Daddy is Mommy on the outside and Daddy on the inside."
"It was my idea."
Sylvie came over to me and gave me a hug.
"Ron I like your makeup," Margaret said with an ear to ear grin.
"I did Daddy's makeup. I used to watch and talk to Mommy when she was
getting ready to go to work and do her makeup. I did Daddy's makeup
just like Mommy did hers."
"I see, well you did a very good job."
I think that Margaret was beginning to realize that my dressing as I did
and the makeup was a more serious matter than when she first arrived and
saw me in Megan's clothes.
"Margaret would you stay for dinner? Perhaps it would clear things up a
bit."
"I think that would be a good idea, I'd love to. Can I help?"
"That would be great. Would you mind peeling and cutting up these
carrots?"
Margaret helped me prepare dinner, cutting up vegetables while I put
together sort of a stir-fry. At one point she said, "I think you make a
wonderful MommyDaddy." Once in a while she would give me a sidelong
glance and smile. At one point she wasn't smiling I think I saw the
start of a tear forming. She said, "It's the onions." But I think it
was more than that. She got down the dishes for Sylvie to put around
the table then she placed the silverware. The dinner was ready and we
sat down to eat. After the dishes had been passed Margaret turned to me
and asked," How did this whole thing get started?"
"I missed Mommy and I know Daddy missed Mommy so I had an idea. I
always liked the smell of the things Mommy took out of her drawers. Her
things always smelled so good and her bras and her cami..cami...."
"you mean camisoles?"
"Yes, camisoles. So I took a pair of Mommy's panties out of the drawer
and told Daddy to close his eyes and I put a pair of Mommy's panties
right by his nose. Then I thought maybe Daddy could wear them and think
of Mommy all day. So I asked him to wear them. Daddy said that men
don't wear women's panties. But I said please and Daddy wore them to
work."
"I see. And did Daddy wear panties more than once?"
"Yes, every day I find a pair of panties for Daddy to wear."
"Anything else?"
"Yes every day when Daddy gets home he puts on a bra and uses two
pantyhose to make boobies."
"When I read a book to Sylvie in the evening she complained that I
didn't have soft boobies for her to rest her head on. She had the idea
of having me wear a bra, but I it wasn't enough so we used a pantyhose
in each cup."
"Yes, I can see you are wearing a bra through the sheer blouse you are
wearing. But what about wearing Megan's clothes this evening?"
"Sylvie thought it would be fun if I were MommyDaddy, Mommy on the
outside and Daddy on the inside. We did it Saturday and Sunday last
week and I said we would do it one more weekend but then we would have
to stop. So, this is the last weekend for MommyDaddy."
"You two have found a unique way to celebrate and remember Megan. Ron
you are a softy and I really appreciate what you have tried to do."
I think Margaret understood the rather unusual circumstances she ran
into from our conversation at dinner. She helped me with dishes and
Sylvie went to play. I invited Margaret to stay until Sylvie went to
bed.
"Sylvie, time for your book, do you want to go and find one?"
"Sure, can Margaret read to me?"
"You will have to ask Margaret."
"Margaret will you read this book to me?"
"Sure, hop up in my lap."
Margaret read the book to Sylvie. I noticed how Sylvie seemed to enjoy
resting her head against Margaret.
"Margaret, I like your boobies. They are soft like Mommy's but I think
yours feel bigger."
Margaret blushed beautifully, I smiled, and Margaret looked at me and
made a face at me in response. After Margaret read the book she asked
me if I minded if she came along when I put Sylvie to bed. I told her I
would enjoy her company and that I was sure that Sylvie would also. So
I sent Sylvie to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash up. When she
came out she went into her bedroom and put on her pajamas. Margaret and
I both went into her room got our hugs and gave Sylvie a goodnight kiss,
then left with the door left open a crack. We went into the living
room. I asked Margaret if she would like a glass of wine. I left
bringing back a glass for each of us. We sat and talked.
"Ron, I must admit I was a bit shocked and taken aback when I first saw
you dressed in Megan's clothes. Sylvie had met me at the door and let
me know that I needed to be quiet and to come to the kitchen. You
seemed so relaxed, humming to yourself, and busily preparing dinner.
You didn't look as if you minded wearing women's clothes, have you done
it before, I mean before this adventure with Sylvie?"
"Not as an adult, but my family used to visit my aunt and uncle and they
had a daughter about a year older than me. I used to dress when we were
playing. I think I was about five. Finally I decided that wearing
girls' clothes wasn't appropriate for a boy."
"Megan always said that you were a great dad and that you loved doing
things with Sylvie. Being willing to do what you did to help Sylvie
deal with her feelings of loss is amazing. Megan always said that you
were caring and empathetic and that you shared in things you did around
the house. My Ex didn't want children, when I was cooking or washing
dishes he was watching the sports channel on TV, and he was both
verbally and physically abusive. That is why we divorced. He was my
high school boyfriend, I thought he would change but he never grew up."
"I'm sorry, you are a great gal, I'm certain you will find someone. Now
perhaps you have a better idea what you will be looking for."
"Just out of curiosity, after this weekend are you still going to be
wearing panties?"
"I may, and to be honest I am also wearing a camisole as well under my
work clothes."
"Hmmm, why a camisole?"
"I found them so much softer and more comfortable than my old t-shirts.
And regarding wearing a panty, I may, I like the feel."
"Now that it is getting warmer you may want to switch from nylon to
cotton, nylon gets so hot."
"That's what Megan said, but I always loved the feel when Megan wore
nylon panties. her butt always felt so nice under the smooth nylon
fabric."
"Well there is that!"
"Did you ever dress in girls' clothes at other times when you were
young?"
"I didn't dress in my mother's clothes or my older sisters. As I said
my cousin and I were about the same age and when we were about five or
six we used to play house when my family visited her family. We dressed
up sometimes I would be the daddy and sometimes the mommy. It really
didn't make any difference to us, we were just playing. I remember my
mother came in one time when I was dressed in my cousin's clothes. She
just thought it was cute. Another time my dad came in and blew his top,
angry because I was wearing girls' clothes. My cousin still reminds me
of our dress up play when I go over to her house. I think she remembers
our play fondly, for that matter so do I. I hadn't dressed in women's
clothes since.....except one time when Megan and I were playing around
one evening about four years ago. And then there was these past couple
weeks."
"I almost wish my Ex had been willing to dress but he was too macho! Oh
well, that's water over the dam. You know you don't look bad in women's
clothes, but your makeup!"
"I know, are you going to give me some help with it? Just kidding!!! I
don't intend to dress again like this. I told Sylvie we had to start
remembering Megan and enjoying all the good memories we had together as
a family. I think she understands."
"Would you like me to help you find a new home for Megan's clothes. I
could come over Wednesday and help you. There are a couple thrift
stores and the Salvation Army store that would love to have your
contribution."
"That would be great. I will have to tell Sylvie, she may want some of
Megan's jewelry. There are some things I will want as well. The things
I want to keep can be set aside and then anything left can be donated.
I will give you a key and you can come and pack things up while Sylvie
and I are at work and school. I think it will be less traumatic for
both Sylvie and me that way."
In the evening on Monday after Sylvie went to bed I went into our room
and went through our, now my, closet and dresser, and makeup table and
night stand looking at the possessions that had been Megan's. It was so
hard. I wanted to pick out some things that had special meaning for me
before I had Sylvie find things that were special for her. Megan had
some special pieces of jewelry, some that I had given her on special
occasions...anniversary and birthday and for no special reason except
that I wanted to show her how much I loved her....and I wanted to keep
them and in all likelihood give them to Sylvie when she grew up. I was
looking through her clothes and decided, given what had happened during
the past two weeks that I also wanted to keep some of Megan's clothes.
I decided I wanted some of her lingerie, perhaps a skirt or two and a
couple of dresses, and a pair of shoes. It was sort of like I perhaps
wanted to be MommyDaddy for myself.
On Tuesday Sylvie and I had dinner and then I told Sylvie that Margaret
was going to come on Wednesday and help find people who would like
Mommy's clothes. Sylvie seemed upset so I told her that before that I
wanted her to find things that were special that Mommy had had that she
really wanted. Sylvie and I went into my bedroom, Sylvie was crying. I
sat down on the bed and had Sylvie sit beside me and gave her a hug.
"Sylvie I know this is hard, really hard for both of us. I want you to
find things that help you think of Mommy. Find some things you really
think are special."
Sylvie stopped crying and started looking around the room.
"Would you like Mommy's jewelry box. I have some things that were
special to me that I've taken already and some of the things are still
too big for you or aren't for little girls. But if you take care of
things you can wear them when you get bigger."
"I would really like that. Could I have the little picture of you and
Mommy in the gold frame?"
"yes I think that would be nice in your bedroom, anything else?"
"Mommy's clothes are too big for me but I would really like some of
Mommy's scarves, they are so pretty and smell so good. And could I have
some of Mommy's makeup...she showed me how to use it, I'm too young for
makeup, but Mommy let me use a little when I was pretending I was a big
girl? Oh, and could I have some of Mommy's perfume? Mommy told me that
she only uses a very little or it can be too strong."
"I think those things would be good. It sounds like Mommy gave you some
very good advice about how to use things. You should probably only use
the perfume for very special times."
"I would like a couple of those things from Mommy's drawers that she
used make her clothes smell good."
"You mean the sachets?"
"Yes, that is what Mommy called them."
I found several sachets and Sylvie and I carried Sylvie's new
possessions into her room. Our picture in the gold frame went on
Sylvie's dresser, the jewelry box on a low bookcase, the makeup on a
small makeup table, and the scarves on a hook in Sylvie's closet and the
sachets in her dresser drawers. She took one scarf and put it under her
pillow.
"I want to have something soft that smells good, something I can feel
when I go to bed."
I gave Sylvie a kiss on the cheek and she and I sat on her bed and both
of us looked at the picture in the gold frame and I gave Sylvie a hug.
We sat like that for a time. Then Sylvie looked at me and asked if I
would read a book to her. Sylvie found the book she wanted and we headed
for the chair in the living room. Sylvie hopped up on my lap and we
began reading. Part way into the book Sylvie began sort of rolling her
head against my chest.
"Daddy, do you suppose Margaret could come over some time to read a book
before I go to bed?"
"Why?"
"I don't know I just like it when she reads to me."
I had an idea why, Margaret has something that I didn't. And to be
honest I really wouldn't mind having Margaret around either.
"I can ask her."
"Thank you Daddy."
Sylvie got ready for bed and I went in to give her a goodnight kiss and
tuck her in. Afterwards I went downstairs and found some boxes and put
them in my room for Margaret. I put the suitcase with my Mommydaddy
clothes in the back of the closet, not wanting them taken. The
Mommydaddy clothes had felt good and I was beginning to have memories
from when I was young, when my cousin and I played together. Perhaps I
would dress on occasion when it was only me in the house, just for my
own enjoyment. In the morning Sylvie and I had gone through our usual
routine and had breakfast. I took Sylvie to school and I went to work
and sometime in the afternoon Margaret came over and packed Megan's
clothes and took them wherever she was going to donate them to.
I got a call at work from Margaret telling me she had taken care of
Megan's clothes and asked if she could make a hot dish and bring it over
to our place and have dinner with Sylvie and I. I told her that would
be great. I picked up Sylvie from school and headed home and decided to
stop at the strip mall to pick up a bottle of desert wine and a little
something sweet for dessert at the bakery.
Both Sylvie and I changed clothes and while Sylvie played with her dolls
I watched a bit of the news and then went and set the dining room table.
Sylvie ran to the door and let Margaret in before she even had time to
ring the door bell, I guess Sylvie saw Margaret's car come into the
driveway and ran to let her in and greet her.
"How is Margaret's favorite little girl?"
"I am fine. I like it when you come over. Daddy is in the dining room
fixing the table."
When I heard Sylvie and Margaret I went to the entry and welcomed
Margaret and took the hot dish. I put the hot dish in the oven to warm
it and asked Margaret to join Sylvie and I in the living room until
things were warmed and ready.
"Margaret, will you read me a book before I go to bed? I have one all
picked out."
"I would love to."
Margaret asked Sylvie about school and heard all about writing a story,
playing with dolls, adding numbers, and about bully Billy out on the
playground. It sounded like she had a very lively day. The two of them
came into the kitchen to see if they could help. After everything was
on the table we had a lively conversation about the day. Margaret was
great with Sylvie, very able to bring the conversation down to her level
without talking down to her. It was the same way when Megan and
Margaret had been together with Sylvie...before. After dinner and
dishes we played a board game that Sylvie enjoyed. Margaret read the
book that Sylvie wanted. I could tell Sylvie liked having Margaret read
to her. After the book Sylvie got ready for bed and the two of us went
in to wish Sylvie a good night.
Margaret and I had a chance to talk for a while before she had to leave.
She mentioned that she had packed Megan's clothes and had taken most of
them to a thrift shop. There were some that she thought should go to a
consignment shop, just too valuable.
"I brought them in to the consignment shop and rather than taking them
on consignment they offered to purchase them outright, so that is what
we did. I have the cash they gave me for the clothes and here it is."
"Keep it for helping with taking care of Megan's things. I don't think
I could have done it, or know where to go. Thanks Margaret."
"I also found the suitcase with your Mommydaddy clothes so I took them
as well. I didn't think you would be using them again?"
"Oh, well I guess that is all right."
"You seem to hesitate, were you thinking you might still want them?"
"No, no, that's fine."
The next several months went by without any incident. Sylvie was
beginning to function normally. Both of us felt our loss at times.
Margaret came over one or two times a week and joined us for dinner and
read a book to Sylvie. After Margaret read to Sylvie and we put her to
bed we had some long talks. I must confess Margaret and I were becoming
close. I was missing the closeness of Megan and Margaret was looking
for a new life without an abusive husband.
Several days before my birthday Margaret called asking if we had any
special plans for the evening. I told her we didn't and she suggested
we have dinner together and that she would bring a cake to celebrate.
We decided to go out to eat and have the birthday cake at home
afterwards. The day came and I met Margaret at the door and she
presented me with a beautiful birthday cake. I drove us to the
restaurant and we had a wonderful meal. Sylvie had her favorite mac and
cheese and was very happy we went out. At the end of the meal Margaret
reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope and handed it to me.
It was a birthday card and also slipped into the envelope was a small
key. The card was a typical birthday card but the handwritten note at
the bottom was very personal and expressed feeling Margaret had for me
that I hadn't realized. The funny thing was I felt the same way about
her. Sylvie wanted to know what the card said. I told her that
Margaret just said how much she liked me. Sylvie had a big smile.
"I love Daddy too."
Margaret also had a big smile and just winked at me. I asked her about
the key and her response was you will find out later. We were about to
leave when Margaret insisted on paying.
"Let me pay, I don't want any macho posturing about the man needing to
pay."
Margaret winked at me, given what she had gone through I decided not to
challenge her but just said thank you. She smiled radiantly and I think
perhaps I'd passed some sort of test. We went back to the house for our
dessert. Before we went in Margaret went to her car and brought back a
nicely wrapped birthday present. We enjoyed the birthday cake complete
with candles and singing happy birthday. Sylvie even had a present for
me, which I later found out Margaret had helped her pick out one time
when Margaret had picked her up from school. When I opened Margaret's
gift I found a leather-bound journal.
"Now you can keep track of all the things that happen in your life from
now on."
"It's beautiful and I can write in it with the beautiful fountain pen
that Sylvie gave me."
"What is a journal Daddy?"
"It is a special book that you write about things you think about and
things that happen to you. It is sort of a special book just for me.
Thanks Margaret."
I got up and gave Margaret and Sylvie both a peck on the cheek."
"Daddy, I think you like Margaret."
"I think I do too Sylvie."
It was late so Sylvie got her book and Margaret read it to her. Then
Sylvie went to get ready for bed and Margaret and I tucked her in.
After Sylvie was settled in bed we went into the living room and I went
and got a glass of wine for us and we sat on the couch and talked.
"Sylvie is a very perceptive little girl."
"You mean about Daddy liking me?"
"Yes, about my liking you!"
"You know that Megan and I got together and talked a lot. She was my
confidant and support all through the problems I had with my marriage.
We often compared notes about our guys, you and Max. I would come home
tired from work and Max never lifted a hand to help me with dinner. He
would just watch TV until I called him. Talk during dinner centered on
him and after dinner I was left with dishes and cleanup. He went and
watched television. He hit me sometimes if I didn't do what he wanted
or he yelled at me. It got so I didn't want to go home at night."
"Megan told me a little about your talks, she felt you needed her to
listen and support you."
"I did, I really did. And, she often talked about your marriage and
about how you helped her, how you shared the work around the house, and
how you were kind, gentle, and loving. That reminds me, I have something
in my car for you, sort of another present. You stay here and I will go
and get it."
Margaret left and went to her car. When she came back she was pulling a
large suitcase.
"Ron, can we take this up to your bedroom!"
"Bedroom, sure, right this way."
Margaret had a big smile. I took the suitcase and rolled it into the
bedroom.
"Can you put it on the bed? And do you have the key that was in the
card?"
"It is right here in my billfold. Is it for the suitcase?"
"Yes, can you open it! I think...think you will like what is inside."
I put the suitcase on the bed, took the key out, and opened the
suitcase.
"Well, do you like what you see? I took the money from Megan's clothes
and did a bit of shopping."
The suitcase was full of woman's clothes. A quick look and I saw
lingerie and I think a dress or two and I know that there was much more
underneath that I couldn't see.
"Margaret, I don't understand."
"You remember when I came over after taking Megan's things to the thrift
shop and consignment shop? When I came over and told you what I had
done, you had a rather surprised look when I told you I had taken the
contents of the suitcase in the closet, your Mommydaddy clothes. I had
the feeling that you hadn't wanted those taken but I think it was a bit
more than that. It seemed as if you had enjoyed wearing women's
clothes. I also did a bit of snooping and found panties and camisoles
in your one dresser drawer.... sorry about my snooping."
"Margaret you are right on all counts, and I guess I don't' mind about
your snooping."
To show Margaret I didn't mind I went over to her and gave her a big
hug. And she returned the favor along with a wonderful kiss.
"Ron, the reason I'm giving you these clothes is not because I think you
are unmanly, I feel you are a man with a somewhat feminine side you
aren't afraid to show. I love that! That first time I saw you dressed
you were busy in the kitchen, relaxed, humming, and totally at ease. I
know you were embarrassed when I saw you and I must say I was surprised.
When I found out why you were dressed the way you were I felt it was
wonderful. But I sensed that what you were doing for Sylvie was only
part of it. When you said you liked the feel of the clothes and
actually wore panties and a camisole tank top to work because it felt
good, I knew there was something more there."
"You are right. I never even told Megan...I don't know if I even
realized it myself, the fact that I wanted to cross dress. I told you
about playing with my cousin and dressing up, well I didn't have an
opportunity to dress for a long time but I used to think about it,
especially when I was a teenager. You know the raging hormones and
clothing catalogs took the place of the real thing. Mommydaddy really
brought it all back and I had intended dressing occasionally when an
opportunity presented itself. Does it bother you?"
"No, if it did would I have brought you the suitcase. I can understand
why you might keep your dressing to yourself. But, I think I understand
and in a way I love you all the more for it."
"And I am not gay, and I don't want to become a woman, I simply like the
feel of the clothes, and I love women, and I am jealous of all of the
wonderful fabrics and colors women can wear, and I am beginning to have
very strong feelings for a particular woman."
"You say you love women, just how many do you have on a string?"
"It's just that I really enjoy women, the way they act, the way they
think. Most of my friends at work are women, somehow I don't relate to
what most men are interested in, oh I have some male friends but not
many."
"And do I know the woman you have strong feeling for?"
"She is standing right in front of me."
"I feel the same about you. But, would you please look at what is in
the suitcase!!!
Margaret had filled the suitcase with the most feminine things. All of
the lingerie was in creams and pastels and a few black lacy pieces.
There were panties, and bras, camisoles, slips, garter belts, nylons,
pantyhose.... all slippery, and shimmery, and soft. There were several
skirts, and wonderful blouses covered with lace and frills and
dresses...beautiful dresses. The suitcase was stuffed.
"I have a suggestion, why don't you put your feminine lingerie and such
in the dresser Megan used to have. You can hang the blouses, skirts,
and dresses in the closet and I almost forgot, you will find a couple
pairs of shoes in the front pocket of the suitcase. And, there is a
wonderful lavender baby doll pajama set in the other pocket. It is a
top and matching boy short, I didn't think you would like a thong like
most have."
"That's very considerate of you. Actually I love all the things you've
given me for my birthday."
Both of us reached for the other and came together with a soft loving
and rather sensuous kiss.
"You said that next weekend Sylvie is going to a sleep-over Friday
afternoon and staying until Sunday after dinner at her friend Patty's
house? Would you like to try out your boy shorts with me here, we could
have our own sleep over! I could come over right after work on Friday
and you could try on your new clothes."
"I would love that idea. Do you want to borrow my men's pajamas?"
"No I think we will be wearing similar baby dolls, but mine will be
pink,"
Margaret helped me put things away. I was tempted to dress but decided
not to and Margaret and I went into the living room and talked for a
while until she had to go. I saw her to the door and said a very
heartfelt and loving good bye. I never would have guessed that any of
this could have happened. I can hardly wait for next weekend!!
The next week at work was difficult, not because of the work but because
I kept thinking about the weekend. Several of my coworkers asked if
something was wrong. I guess I was distracted....." No, nothing is
wrong, things are great!" Finally Friday came. I picked up Sylvie and
took her over to Patty's, we had a little overnight case packed and
ready to go in the car. Once at Patty's I walked Sylvie to the door
greeted Mrs. Nelson and handed her Sylvie's things. Sylvie gave me a
quick kiss and ran off with Patty.
"Is it all right if Sylvie has dinner with us Sunday and then I can
bring her home about seven?"
"That would be perfect. Sylvie has been looking forward to this
weekend. Give a call if anything comes up. Thanks."
I could hardly wait to get home. I got home about 5:30, Margaret came
about 7:00.
"Sorry I am a bit later than I had planned. I stopped and did a bit of
shopping and picked up Italian so we wouldn't have to waste time
cooking, hope that is all right."
Margaret handed me the take-out and I took it to the kitchen, then
returned and followed her to my bedroom. She had a small suitcase and
put a shopping bag on the bed and turned to me.
"Just a few more things. There was a special sale that I ran across
during the week and stopped and picked up a few things for myself and
found some things I thought you might like."
She brought out several panties some sheer, some with lace, and mostly
in pastel shades. Then there was a beautiful slip with lace at the top
and hem. Lastly there was a wonderful dress in ivory with lace overlay.
"There is one more thing I thought you might need."
She brought out a package and handed it to me. It was a set of breast
forms with adhesive.
"They are B's, I didn't want yours bigger than mine!
"I love the new things, including the breast forms. I don't want to
compete with yours and I know Sylvie likes yours by the way. Do you
want me to dress now or shall we eat?"
"Why don't we eat now then relax and just enjoy each other and talk.
And, yes, I know Sylvie likes my pillows!"
So we warmed up the takeout, ate in the dining room with candle light
and wine. Afterwards we worked together to clean up and then retired to
the living room. I put some soft music on dimmed the lights and we sat
on the couch and talked. I put my arm around her and she snuggled
against my shoulder. I loved the smell of her hair and her warmth.
"Just out of curiosity why have you gotten me the clothes and why do you
want me to dress in feminine clothes? The reason I dressed the first
time you saw me was for Sylvie, to help her get over the loss of her
mother."
"Well, you're a guy but you were willing to show your feminine side and
looked like you felt perfectly comfortable wearing women's clothes. I
guess it was such a contrast to the dirty jeans and ragged sweaty
sweatshirt my ex used to wear. Then you told me about you and your
cousin and how you sort of enjoyed your play. I don't think of you as
any less of a man, but I like the idea that you also like soft things
and I have seen you willing to work right beside me when we do things in
the kitchen. My ex would have thrown a fit if I had asked him to help
me and you enjoy it. I don't know if it makes any sense but I love
having a man who isn't afraid of showing his softer side. I think it is
sort of fun to have a man I can share clothes with and who has an
appreciation understanding, and empathy for me as a woman. You don't
have to wear women's clothes, but I don't mind if you do and for some
reason I sort of like it. I think you need my assurance that it is ok
for you to wear if you wish....it is...it definitely is. If it weren't
none of this would be happening."
I didn't dress. If anything you might say we 'made out' in the living
room. We snuggled and kissed and enjoyed just being together. We
talked about growing up and family. Margaret rested against my shoulder
and I enjoyed the fragrance of her hair and the way it tickled my nose.
I loved her warmth as she rested against me, and the feeling of her
hands in mine, and the kisses...so soft and warm and wet.
"Should we get ready for bed?"
Margaret's idea sounded very good. I took her hand and we went upstairs
to the bedroom.
"Margaret, why don't you shower first."
And so Margaret took her pajama set and makeup bag out of her overnight
case and headed to the bathroom. It took her a while, removing makeup,
and taking care of her clothes before showering. I just laid on the bed
and thought about what had happened tonight and thought about what might
happen yet. When Margaret came out she was dressed in a sheer top and
panties and carrying her clothes which she laid on a chair. She looked
luscious! It was my turn to head to the bathroom. I went to the
dresser and took out the lavender baby doll set that Margaret had gotten
me and headed to the bathroom. After undressing and showering and
shaving I put on my baby doll. The top was sheer but the boy shorts
were opaque. Before I left the bathroom I decided to spritz a bit of
aftershave then afterwards wondered if it was appropriate given what I
was wearing.
When I came out of the bathroom the lights were off and the room was
softly lit with candles. Margaret was laying under the covers and drew
the covers on my side up to invite me to join her. I had often felt
Megan's body in the soft fabric of her pajama top but it seemed strange
feeling myself in that same fabric and the sheer slipperiness as we
touched. Evidently both of us had taken off our bottoms. I laid on my
side and bent down and gave Margaret a kiss, then brought my hand down
and cupped her breast and nuzzled her nipple with my nose before taking
it between my lips. I gently sucked her nipple then, not wanting to
make the other breast feel left out nuzzled and sucked on the other
nipple. Her nipples showed the effects of my attention by standing up
and Margaret made soft moaning sounds. I moved up and gave her another
soft warm kiss. I moved my hand down to the hollow below her rib cage
and to her waist and hip. I kissed her navel and think it must have
tickled by her reaction. My hand moved down and cupped her mound and
her hand reached down and her fingers entwined in my hair. My finger
moved down between her lips and found Margaret was moist. I picked some
of her moistness on my finger and moved it up to draw circles around her
little hooded button. My attention brought her to a climax with
movements of her pelvis and soft moans. I came up for another kiss and
she embraced me and held me tight. Then her hand reached down and gently
grasped my hardness and flicked the tip with her thumb picking up a bit
of my precum and slid her hand up and down making me all the harder. I
moved down and Margaret spread her legs and using her hand gently
directed my hardness into her. It felt so good being inside her, warm
and inviting. I began thrusting slowly with long strokes and I rested
my arms on either side of her. As my thrusting became more demanding
she met my thrusts with thrusts of her own. Finally we couldn't put it
off any longer and with both of us in matching rhythm we came in a
wonderful climax. I poured myself into Margaret and I think she
contributed some cum herself. Finally I withdrew and moved up and laid
beside Margaret her head resting on my shoulder. We hugged and kissed
and laid there not talking but just feeling and appreciating one another
and what we had shared.
While Ron was showering and changing into his baby doll pajamas I went
about making the bedroom as romantic as I could with candles then
slipped under the covers waiting for Ron. When he came out of the
bathroom I caught a glimpse of his silhouette just before he turned out
the bathroom lights. I am still not used to the sight of a man in a
sheer pajama top, but I guess it was my idea. I pulled the blankets
aside inviting Ron to lay beside me. I wonder what it will be like! He
snuggled up beside me and it was strange with both of use wearing baby
doll pajamas and Ron had used aftershave, sort of a masculine note,
rather incongruous but nice. I noticed Ron had slipped the bottoms off
before crawling in bed, but then so had I. Ron laid on his side and gave
me a soft gentle kiss and kissed my neck, not the hickey that I was so
used to getting. His lips felt so good against mine. Then I felt his
hand cup my breast and tease my nipple before taking it into his mouth
and sucking so gently and then he did the same to the other. So
different, not the biting and hard rubbing with a thumb I was used to. I
found myself moaning it felt so good. His hand slid down caressing and
exploring my stomach and waist and hip. He stopped and kissed my tummy
button and it tickled. It feels so good to be caressed rather than
being taken for granted. I already feel loved. And then his hand has
cupped my mound, he is so gentle. He is reaching down between my legs
and I want to open them a bit for him. He slides his hand down and
takes some of the moistness that is coming from our loving and brings it
up and circles my clit with my own moistness. I am there!! Ron senses
it and moves up and we embrace and kiss. I can feel he is getting hard.
I reach my hand down and grasp his hardness, take some of the moistness
from the tip of his cock and use it to lubricate my hand as it moves up
and down making Ron all the harder. I feel so ready for him so anxious
to feel him inside me. I let Ron know I wanted him and spread my legs.
His cock felt so good, so hard and I was so ready. I held him and
gently brought him into me. His thrusts were slow and gentle. I loved
the way we moved together. I kept getting closer and closer and he kept
thrusting gradually picking up the rhythm. I felt the building to my
climax; not like I was used to with jackhammer jabbing and pain negating
any feeling of building to something beautiful. With my ex it had
always been his needs, not like this. Finally we were both in rhythm
and I was coming like I had never come before. I felt Ron's release and
a pulsing sensation as I came down. We had both cum and we came
together. Ron and I laid side by side my head on his shoulder. We
didn't say anything. We rolled towards one another and just hugged and
kissed. It was wonderful.
The sun was pouring through the windows when we woke up. Ron laid on
his side, leaned over and gave me a kiss. He held my face in his hand
and just looked at me.
"I love you."
"Ron, last night was wonderful, and I love you too."
We just lay there looking at each other enjoying each other with soft
caresses until I think we both realized that we needed to get up.
"Margaret, why don't you take the first shower. I will go down and make
coffee. But first I need to use the bathroom."
Margaret headed to the shower and I headed downstairs to start the
coffee, first putting on my boy shorts. What a strange sensation to be
moving around the house in a baby doll top and soft shimmery boy shorts.
Once the coffee maker was doing its thing I headed upstairs to wait for
Margaret to come out of the shower. I just lay on the bed and waited for
Margaret. When Margaret came out of the bathroom she was carrying her
baby doll pajamas and didn't bother with a towel. She looked amazing,
just Margaret in all of her natural beauty.
"Your turn. Oh, and I have the tub ready for you"
"Tub! I usually take a shower."
"You'll see. Oh, and make sure you shave as close as you can, both your
face and chest."
"Chest!"
"You will see."
I walked into the bathroom and took off my baby doll. The tub was about
three quarters full of fragrant bubbles. Margaret had the tub full of
bubble bath. I wonder where we are going with this. I stepped into the
tub and sunk into the water which was the perfect temperature. After the
excitement of last night a relaxing soak in the tub felt good.
"Hey, did you fall asleep in there!"
"No, I am just enjoying the feel," I lied. "I just have to shave."
"I am going downstairs to make breakfast. Your clothes are on the bed."
After drying off I did a close shave and went out to get dressed.
Margaret had laid out my clothes but not what I had expected. On the
bed were a complete set of women's clothes from the skin out. There was
a matching bra and panty set in pink and laying off to the side the
breast forms, nude pantyhose, a half slip and camisole also in pink, and
a cream-colored blouse with a lace collar, and a dark blue pencil skirt,
and black shoes with a 2" heel. Well, if that is what Margaret wanted
me to wear I guess I had better get dressed. Once dressed I looked into
the full length mirror. Hmm, not too bad but I could use some makeup. I
did go to the dresser and picked up the hair brush and at least brushed
my hair into a more feminine style. Ready or not I went downstairs for
breakfast and to face Margaret. She was in the kitchen and had
breakfast ready and on the table. As I walked into the kitchen Margaret
just looked at me smiled and came over and gave me a kiss, then pulled
out the chair for me to sit down.
"Ron you don't look too bad.... you do need some makeup, but we can take
care of that after breakfast. You know I have a hard time looking at
you and calling you Ron. I think you need a feminine name, how about
Ronnia....it sort of works. Do you mind?"
"I guess that would work"
We ate breakfast and had a normal conversation about the day, well as
normal as it could be given the circumstances. Every once in a while
Margaret would look at me sometimes sort of staring and sometimes
smiling.
"What!"
"Ron....Ronnia you are not a bad looking woman. I was thinking, this
way I get a girlfriend and boyfriend. You know, I like you both ways!"
"You know, I really appreciate that!"
"let's go upstairs, your makeup is calling."
Margaret led the way. It is harder going upstairs with this skirt than
it is coming down. We went into my bedroom. Margaret took her makeup
bag out of her suitcase and spread things out on the makeup table. Then
she went into the bathroom and brought out a towel.
"Ronnia, I have some adhesive here and since you are going to be dressed
today and part of tomorrow. I think we should use the adhesive on the
breast forms, then it would feel more natural. Take off your blouse,
camisole, and bra and let me put them in place."
I took off what she had suggested and laid on the bed. She went over
and got some alcohol swabs and wiped my chest then went and got a spray
bottle and sprayed one of the breast forms let it dry and put against my
chest and told me to hold it. Then she took the other breast form and
did the same. The end result was me with boobies as Sylvie would say.
"I think they are attached well enough. They do look good and the right
size for you, I didn't think you wanted to look too busty. Let's go over
to the makeup table and I will show you how to do your makeup. And now
you know why I wanted you to shave your chest."
I sat down at the makeup table and Margaret put a towel around my
shoulders pulled up a chair and had me face her. First it was the base,
then the eye shadow, eye liner, then the eyebrows, then a bit of blush
and lastly the lipstick. Everything she did was so subtle. Then she
used just a little styling gel in my hair and brushed my hair into
place. When I looked into the mirror it didn't look like me.
"Alright honey, you can put on your clothes again."
This time I had something to put into the bra cups. by the time I put
on the blouse I really did have a bust line. I looked into the full-
length mirror and could hardly believe how I looked. I was feminine
from head to toe and not MommyDaddy!
"I think I have a pretty good looking girl for a boyfriend. Let's go
downstairs and talk."
We went downstairs and we did talk, about our childhoods, school,
college, work...pretty much everything. Funny, once we really got
talking I was hardly aware of what I was wearing or probably looked
like. I'm sure Margaret was very aware of what I was wearing and my
transformation from Ron. She even mentioned how strange it seemed
seeing me dressed as I was but seemingly totally at ease, almost like I
was two persons in one. During most of our conversation she was resting
with her head on my shoulder so most of the time she wasn't actually
looking directly at me. There were times when I did sense what I was
wearing...a slight movement and I felt the bra band or straps and of
course the weight of the breast forms or the feel of them if Margaret
leaned against me. I think she felt it too and perhaps purposely leaned
into them. Then there was the feel of the panty hose, the way they held
me in and their warmth.
I think we were both feeling a bit hungry and Margaret suggested we fix
something for lunch. We got up went to the kitchen and cobbled together
lunch from left overs. I must say we worked well together. Once
everything was prepared we sat down and enjoyed our lunch.
"Margaret, does it bother you that I'm dressed this way?"
"Surprisingly, no. I suppose most women would be put off by having
someone we are close to dressed as you are."
"I guess I just need to be reassured."
"Ron, lunch probably isn't the time to get into deep conversations.
Let's save that for later. What do you usually do on a Saturday
afternoon?"
"On a day like today I usually work outside.... mowing lawn, pruning,
that sort of thing."
"Well, why don't we go outside and I will give you a hand."
"Dressed like this!"
"No, why don't you take off your skirt, and blouse, and I suppose makeup
and put your regular outdoor clothes on over your girl things.
Hopefully no one will notice."
"What about the breast forms?"
"I doubt anyone will get close enough to notice. We can just work in
the back yard."
Margaret took care of the lunch dishes and put things away while I went
upstairs and changed. I was almost finished when Margaret came up and
changed into some more appropriate clothes for working outside.
"Ronnia, you are almost back to being Ron."
"Almost, what do you mean?"
"Well I'm sure Sylvie would like you better now."
"Oh, my boobies!"
I went downstairs and out into the back yard and got the mower out.
Margaret was only about five minutes behind me.
"Why don't you just relax in the lawn chair. It won't take me more than
half an hour to do the mowing."
"No I noticed that the flower beds need a weeding."
We were fifteen minutes into our yard work when I heard Harry our next
door neighbor.
"Hey Ron, can I borrow your hedge trimmer? Francine is having a bunch
of girls over for tea and conversation and wants me to spiff up the
hedge."
"Sure they are in the garden shed, help yourself?"
"Who's your helper?"
"This is Margaret, she is a longtime friend."
"Welcome Margaret."
"Thanks."
"Found it."
"When you are finished just put it back in the shed."
luckily Fred stayed a good distance away and I don't think he noticed my
boobies. I think Margaret got a kick out of our exchange and the way I
minimized the chance of Fred noticing some things by standing the way I
did. When Fred had left Margaret was smiling very broadly.
"Well you handled that well."
"Thanks, I don't know what I would have done if Fred had come close. Do
you realize we have been out here almost two hours? Let's go in, things
look good."
"I think we both need a shower and complete change of clothes. Let's go
up, you take the first shower."
We went upstairs and I headed to the bathroom and had a feeling that the
clothes I would be wearing would be laid out on the bed when I got out.
I showered and shaved, just in case Margaret wanted me to wear makeup
again. When I entered the bedroom it was just as I thought. Margaret
was sitting on the end of the bed smiling and neatly placed on the bed
were the clothes she thought I should wear; she and Sylvie have certain
things in common. She stood up gave me a kiss and headed into the
bathroom to shower herself.
On the bed was a bra and panty set of the palest pink with lace edging
on both and a pale pink matching garter belt with a jacquard center
panel and lace that matched the bra and panties. There was also a pair
of nude lace topped thigh high nylons. Then there was the cream-colored
slip with lace at the hem and top. All this was followed with the ivory
colored dress with the lace overlay. I don't think what I was going to
be wearing could be any more feminine! I put on everything but the
dress and sat on the end of the bed waiting for Margaret to get out of
the shower. When she came out of the bathroom she had a towel over her
arm but nothing else. God she was beautiful.
"Ron, come over and sit down at the makeup table. I will help you with
your makeup."
She had me turn so I was facing her not the mirror. She spread my legs
and stood between them and lifted my head so she could see what she was
doing putting on the makeup base. My eyes tended to wander looking at
her beautiful breasts with their perk nipples nearly staring me in the
face. I could smell a mixture of the soap and the subtle perfume she
had used.
"Ron there is something very unwomanly about your panty right now."
"I know. You do that to me!"
"And I am so happy I do that to you. I just hope tonight will be as
wonderful as last night."
Margaret finished the base, the eye shadow, the liner, the blush, and
finally the lipstick. Then she gave me a kiss...to blot the lipstick.
She then brushed my hair into a more feminine style and added a spritz
of a light perfume. "All done." And I reached around her and pulled her
close. I love you Margaret!" She reached down and took my hands and
had me stand up. We walked over to the bed. I stepped into my dress
and pulled it up and she turned me around and zipped it up. There was a
pair of beige shoes with three-inch heels for me to step into. Margaret
sat on the bed and had me back up a bit.
"You are not a bad looking gal."
"Thanks. You are pretty fantastic yourself." Margaret was beautiful,
dark eyes, auburn hair, a wonderful figure.... most beautifully shaped
breasts and very suckable nipples.
"I suppose we should head downstairs, after all we have part of the day
left before we enjoy tonight!"
"you head down, I suppose I should put on some clothes."
"I will take you with or without."
I went downstairs. My dress, 'My dress' it seems odd thinking that, had
a lined skirt and the feel of the lining against the slip and the slip
against my legs, and the tug of the garters, the scent of the perfume
and all of the other subtle sensations were almost overpowering. I
liked being a man but I also liked the experience of dressing as a
woman. Luckily, it seems that Margaret doesn't mind my duality at least
she says she doesn't. I really hope not.
When Margaret came down she was wearing a burgundy dress. It hugged her
curves but the skirt flared just a bit and came to just above her knees.
She wore dark nearly black nylons and her shoes matched her dress. Her
makeup was very subtle and her hair was held up with a ribbon the same
color as her dress, she was gorgeous. She came over to me and we hugged
and kissed, a very sensual, lingering, and loving kiss. Our tongues
danced and she tasted wonderful.
"I love kissing you!"
"And Ronnia I am not used to kissing another woman. But I will make an
exception with you."
"You should I'm sort of a woman by your design."
"And I love that you allow that side of you show through. I love your
strong, loving, softness."
"This strong, loving, softness is thinking perhaps we should be thinking
of preparing a candlelight dinner."
"Being practical huh!"
"We can always resume our loving afterwards."
"I'm sure we will."
"Since you like the way we work together I will prepare the salmon and
uncork the wine and can you make the salad and set the table. I will
find some soft music and candles."
"Yes master, I can do that," she said and winked at me.
I teasingly swatted her on the butt then found aprons for both of us,
didn't want to soil our beautiful dresses. We went about our tasks.
The fun part about our kitchen was we were close enough that we couldn't
go about doing things without touching and an occasional kiss or caress.
Finally the table was set, the candles were lit, and soft music was
playing, and everything was on the table. We sat across from each
other. There wasn't much talking, but looking across the table Margaret
looked beautiful, the candles made her eyes sparkle and I loved the play
of candlelight on her face. I reached across the table took Margaret's
hand and mouthed, 'I Love You.' We said a toast, to us! When we were
done eating we just sat and looked at each other. I think we were both
deep in thought. Finally Margaret broke the silence.
"I think there are other things we want to do this evening. Why don't
we clear the table and at least get a start on putting things away?"
"At least put food away...the rest can wait until morning! There are
things I want to do this evening."
"For example!"
"Dance, cuddle, and make love to a beautiful woman."
"Funny, I want to do the same thing, and I know just the girl I want to
do it with."
"Girl!"
"Well, almost."
We retired to the living room. I had lit some candles and put on soft
romantic music. Outside it was dusk with just a hint of color on the
horizon. Margaret and I settled down on the couch. I put my arm around
her and she laid back and we looked into each other's eyes. For some
reason I still found it hard to believe that Margaret wasn't put off by
my dressing but actually almost encouraged it.
"Margaret you really don't mind that I'm dressed the way I am!"
"You told me how you feel and I can sense that your dressing is sensual,
having more to do with the senses than being necessarily sexual. Though
last night was wonderful. But I don't know how much of it had to do
with our baby dolls as much as our feeling for one another. For me and
I think for you, it was an expression of an emotional desire and wanting
one another."
"God, I'm a lucky guy. I have a wonderful daughter and an understanding
woman and everything I could ever want. Would you like to dance? The
music is perfect for my mood and how I feel."
"I would love to. I do have one question, given the way we are dressed,
who leads?!"
"We could take turns or just let it happen and see where we go. I don't
think it really matters, I am comfortable either way."
And so we danced. It felt so good to have Margaret in my arms. We held
each other close and to be honest I don't know if I was leading or if
she was leading. We just moved together. We moved effortlessly
together and I loved her fragrance and I could sense her movement under
my hand at her waist. To be honest I wish I didn't have these breast
forms because it prevented me from really feeling hers. Our dancing
ended with a long, sensual, lingering kiss.
We settled back on the couch to talk and what I would have to call
necking. I loved this woman so much. A few of the candles had burned
down and gone out.
"Margaret, what say we head for bed?"
I blew out the few remaining candles, turned off the music, and took
Margaret's hand and we headed upstairs. When we were in the bedroom
Margaret took me in her arms.
"Ron, do you really like dressing in woman's clothes? You look
wonderful. Don't tell anyone but I felt there was something in your
panty that wasn't womanly."
"Yes, I love the feel, the texture, all of the tactile things that
aren't a part of a man's wardrobe. If I dressed this way all the time I
probably would become used to it and it wouldn't be as special as it has
felt tonight. So, I would like to dress like this again but not all the
time. I want it to be special and to be honest only between us. I have
no desire to try to pass. I do want to share this part of me with you.
Do you understand?"
"Yes, I think I do and I love you as a man and I love this soft part of
you, this almost feminine side. It is so different from what I've been
used to and I love you all the more for it."
"I suppose we should get ready for bed."
"I know we should."
Margaret unzipped me and I took off the dress, then the slip and went
into the bathroom to take off my makeup. Margaret did the same.
"Aren't you going to take off the rest of your things."
"Aren't you? Actually I am still enjoying the feel of the garters
tugging at my nylons, and the smoothness of these panties, and the bra
band and straps. So I figure I might as well keep them on until I have
the makeup off."
We stood in front of the mirror and I looked at myself, not my usual
self, and I looked at Margaret then reached behind her and felt of her
wonderful smooth butt and loved the way it felt. When I did that
Margaret returned the favor.
"I think men should wear nylon panties all the time. Their butts feel
so nice through the material."
"Their butts, just how many men's butts have you felt of through nylon
panties?"
"You know what I mean."
Finally we finished our mutual butt feeling and got down to the business
of taking off our makeup. Margaret led and I followed her seeing how
she did it.
"Ron why don't you shower first. I will go out and get undressed and
find what I will wear to bed."
I got undressed and took a shower. When I came out there on the bed was
a satin top and boy short bottom in shimmery pale almost opalescent
blue.
"I thought you might like the feel of satin."
I did and as I was putting on my pajamas Margaret headed for the
bathroom to shower. I was just lying there when Margaret come out she
had her bra, panty, garter belt and nylons in her hand but nothing
otherwise. She went to her suitcase and came out with a satin chemise
in pale pink satin. Her breasts moved delightfully and her pert nipples
let themselves be known through the fabric. The chemise came to mid-
thigh and hung from her shoulders by spaghetti straps. I lifted the
covers and she slid into bed beside me. The only light came from
candles Margaret had lit and which cast a soft glow on her lovely face.
I made love to Margaret as I had the night before. There was the
luscious kiss, the attention to her breasts with their lovely firm
softness. I caressed her as I worked down to her mound and found the
little hidden one. She was moist again. After she had come she laid
back and we looked into each other's eyes. She kissed me. Then she
repeated on me what I did to her...the kisses the caresses. She found
that I was hard, used her finger to spread some of her own moisture on
the head of my cock and stroked me, making me even harder. She then
took me into her mouth and moved up and down looking up at me as she did
it. Then she got up and straddled me and slowly directed my hard cock
into that warm moistness. She slowly rocked back and forth and I felt
how deeply I was inside of her. She started slow and gently at first
but she placed her hands on my chest leaned down and gave me a kiss, sat
up and moved to her own rhythm, fist slow then fast, then slow, then
fast. She was bringing me almost to that point then slowing prolonging
our being together. Then I think she sensed we were at that point of no
return and rocked back and forth until we both came. I felt myself
poured into her and her moistness bathing me. She sank onto my chest.
We felt the wonderful sweat of our exertion as we moved against one
another. I slid out of her and she worked her way up to give me a
loving, lingering kiss, our tongues searched and lovingly dueled with
one another. Finally we both laid on our backs wonderfully exhausted.
Margaret laid her head against my shoulder and that is how we found
ourselves the next morning.
We began to stir and Margaret got out of bed and came over to my side,
took my hand and had me sit on the edge of the bed. She got down on one
knee and looked up at me
"Ron, will you marry me?"
I didn't answer but stood up and looked at Margaret. I saw confusion on
her face wondering why I hadn't answered her. I got up went to my
dresser and opened the top drawer then came back. Margaret was seated
on the floor. I reached down and took her hand and had her sit on the
edge of the bed. I got down on one knee and put the ring on her finger.
"Yes."