Dark Incarnate COMPLETE Book1 ch1 14 final draft
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October 20, 1995, Chicago, Illinois
She waited a few seconds and the attorneys all shook their heads.
“As you all know, I have reports from DCFS, the mediator, and the guardian ad litem who I appointed. I’ve also conducted an interview with Marcia. It’s my job, as judge, to decide this case solely on Marcia’s best interests. At sixteen, she is old enough, and has demonstrated sufficient maturity, such that her wishes must be given very serious consideration.
“I am, as are all Family Court judges, generally reticent to change a joint custody agreement, but when the parents disagree on a fundamental issue, and no resolution appears possible, I’m forced to act. Marcia, I need to ask you some questions.”
“OK, Your Honor,” Marcia replied.
“Do you wish to live with your father?” the Judge asked.
“Yes, Your Honor.”
“And you wish to practice karate?”
“Yes, Your Honor.”
“Then it is my judgment that sufficient cause exists, and it is in the best interest of Marcia Ingles, a minor, that Robert Ingles be granted sole legal and physical custody of Marcia Ingles. Jillian Ingles will be granted visitation rights, though this is at Marcia’s full discretion. In addition, as of October 31st, all child support payments are hereby suspended. Marcia, you are to move to your father’s house as soon as he can make the necessary arrangements.
“Now, after hearing the testimony today, and drawing the obvious inferences, I’m going to amend my custody order. Mr. Miller, if Marcia returns to your dojo, she is to have no unsupervised contact with Mr. Adams until after her seventeenth birthday. You’re responsible to me for this order being followed. Mr. Adams, I won’t issue an order against you personally, but I expect you to follow the custody order.
“The clerk will publish the order to all parties.”
She banged her gavel and we all stood as she left the courtroom.
“She did you a HUGE favor,” Gwen said quietly. “The LAST thing you want is your name on an order of protection!”
“How the heck did they get the DCFS information?” I asked.
“I suspect they ran you through their system. Your name will be in there because there was an investigation. The DCFS investigator has to be thorough, so I’m sure she ran Mr. Miller’s name through the system as well.”
“What does ‘unsupervised’ mean in this context?” Sensei Jim asked.
“Just don’t let them be alone together at the dojo or any events. So long as there are people around, you’ll be fine. But you also need to closely monitor how he teaches her and his interactions with her.”
“Will do. Thanks, Ms. Meyer.”
“Yes; thanks, Gwen!”
“You’re both welcome. And I see a very happy young woman coming our way!”
Marcia walked over to us and greeted us, and we returned the greetings.
“When is your seventeenth birthday?” Sensei Jim asked Marcia when she came up to us.
“January 12th.”
“Are you planning to come back to the dojo?”
“Yes, of course! And I want to compete in the Thanksgiving and Boxing Day Tournaments!”
“I think it’s in all of our best interests if I train and coach you for those two. Once you turn seventeen, and we’re not under the judge’s order, Steve can train you again.”
“Why seventeen?” she asked.
“That’s the age of consent in Illinois,” Gwen said. “Basically, the judge understands what your mom was trying to say without it having been said directly, and the judge’s order acknowledges that.”
“You mean she thinks me and Sensei Steve...”
“That is what she’s afraid of,” Gwen said.
“That’s my MOM, not me!” she protested. “I like boys my own age! Sensei Steve is nice and all, but he’s twice my age! Ewww!” Then realizing what she’d said, she added, “Uh, sorry.”
I laughed, “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I’m actually VERY happy you feel that way!”
“Me too,” Sensei Jim added, “for obvious reasons. When will we see you at the dojo?”
“A week from tomorrow, according to my dad. He wants to meet with you.”
“Have him call me and we’ll set up a time,” Sensei Jim said. “We’re glad to have you back!”
She smiled and went to join her dad. Jillian Ingles walked past, and simply glared frostily at us.
“Don’t speak to her,” Gwen said quietly. “Either of you. If she calls, simply decline to have a conversation. Marcia’s dad has sole legal and physical custody, which means her mom has no parental rights. Everything needs to go through Marcia’s dad, or Marcia, once she’s eighteen.”
“Gwen, can I ask you a question?”
“I’m billing you by the hour, so sure!” she smirked.
She was referring to my ongoing complaining about attorneys. I just shook my head and smiled in amusement.
“How much trouble could I be in if I claimed, in court, to be married to both Jessica and Kara?”
“To be frank, I have no idea. Illinois doesn’t have laws against you claiming to be married when you aren’t, and you file your taxes properly, and are careful in any interactions with the government. But, as you well know, and referred to today, Illinois still makes fornication and adultery illegal. A lot would depend on the circumstances and the decision of the judge and prosecutor. Judge Teague got the picture, and you deftly answered in a way which confirmed what Mrs. Ingles’ attorney was saying was accurate, but in a way such that the judge didn’t have to take official notice of. That’s the OTHER reason she didn’t issue a protective order.”
“Do you think any of that was in the DCFS report?”
“It’s possible, but they didn’t contact you, so I suspect all they found was that there was an investigation which was closed as having found no evidence and with an order issued by the Family Court protecting you. I suspect they didn’t put any details into the report to avoid any chance of you coming after them. But Mrs. Ingles’ attorney would have seen your name listed, and that’s why she probed. She was stuck, really, because she had to ask blind.”
“Something one should never do in court!” I said.
“Not if you can avoid it. That’s why depositions are so helpful, but Judge Teague felt they were unnecessary because the only issue appears to have been with regard to the unsupervised contact. Mrs. Ingles’ refusal to compromise doomed her, especially given Marcia’s obvious preference.”
“Ms. Meyer, do you think I need to have only female instructors coach female students?” Sensei Jim asked.
Gwen shook her head, “No, Mr. Miller, I don’t think so. Just be smart. After all, what if Jesse’s mom was an instructor?”
I couldn’t help but laugh, “I’ve had PLENTY of instruction from Jennifer since we were fourteen! Just not about karate!”
“Good,” Sensei Jim said, ignoring my wisecrack. “I would really hate to be in a position where I had to promote someone who wasn’t ready just to keep the jackals at bay. I swear, some days I think taking on the Việt Cộng was easier than fighting the lunacy that American society has become. The next five years are going to be LONG.”
“Five years?” Gwen asked.
“I’m retiring to Japan. Steve, Will, and Therese will take over the dojo.”
“How are you going to have time, Steve?” Gwen asked.
“That’s why there are three of us. We’ll get help from other black belts as well. Our goal, Sensei Jim’s and mine, is that when he finishes college, Will is going to become the master of the dojo.”
“You outrank him, don’t you?”
“Yes, but you heard what I said about ranks above 3rd Dan. It’s a problem easily resolved by the head of our school in Japan. And there is literally nothing which says that the highest-ranking belt is the official head of the school. That’s up to the master of the school in Japan as well.”
“Interesting. Well, unless there is something else either of you need, I’m going to head back to my office.”
Sensei Jim and I both shook our heads and Gwen left the courtroom. He and I followed her out but stopped in the hallway.
“You’re OK with my plan?”
“Of course. You’re my Sensei.”
He smiled, “That’s not what I asked, Steve-san.”
“Yes, I’m OK with your plan. It makes perfect sense. I have no objections.”
He smiled, “Good.”
We shook hands and then walked out to our cars.
October 22, 1995, Racine, Wisconsin
“I’d say that’s VERY good news,” Molly said as we cuddled in her bed on Sunday morning.
“I agree. I’d have told you sooner if you hadn’t dragged me right to your bedroom from the front door!”
Molly laughed, “I have about fifteen years to make up for! We can have brunch whenever you’re ready.”
“I think I’ll have another serving of Wisconsin Beaver before we go downstairs!”
I pulled Molly on top of me and we kissed deeply for a few minutes before she slowly impaled herself on my shaft and gently rode me to a fantastic mutual orgasm. We cuddled for a bit, then showered and went downstairs to breakfast wearing only robes.
“The only downside of the situation is that Sensei Jim is going to coach her for the two local tournaments at Thanksgiving and Christmas.”
“Why?”
“Because the judge, acting out of an abundance of caution, said I should have no unsupervised contact with Marcia until she turns seventeen. Sensei Jim felt it would be easier if he coached her.”
Molly laughed, “They think she wants to fuck you!”
“Her mom does,” I said. “Want to fuck me, I mean. Marcia decidedly does not!”
“According to whom? I’ve seen how she looks at you!”
“And she made a point of telling me and Sensei Jim I was ‘old’, even saying ‘eww!’ about the thought.”
“Then she’s a damned good actress!” Molly laughed.
“You do know it’s possible to find someone attractive, and be enamored in them, and not want to have sex with them, right?” I asked, popping some bacon into my mouth.
“Yes, of course. Care to make a wager?”
“That depends on the stakes,” I smirked.
“I see that evil smile! What debauchery do you have in mind?”
I shrugged, “I can think of lots of things!”
“Well, I’ll win so I’m not worried. On or about her seventeenth birthday, she’s going to offer to have sex with you.”
I shook my head, “No, she won’t. I’m confident what she said to us was true. It’s her MOM who would have come on to me if I hadn’t revealed details of my private life. But let’s forget about Marcia for now.”
“You won’t take the bet?”
“You’re THAT confident?” I grinned. “Confident enough that if I win I get to tie you up and take you ANY and EVERY way I want?”
Molly gasped, “You are NOT putting it there! Period!”
I chuckled, “Suddenly, you aren’t so confident!”
“Never mind!”
“Uh-huh,” I said smugly.
“Just eat your brunch!”
“And then you?” I smirked.
“Right here? On the kitchen table?”
“It is the place to eat, isn’t it?”
We finished brunch, and I did exactly that, pleasuring her with my lips and tongue, then taking her, hard, bent over the table.
“Damn,” she gasped when she stood up, her knees wobbly, “Why the hell did I wait so long for this?”
“I have no idea,” I grinned. “But I’m not complaining!”
“Come on, let’s shower again and go for a walk.”
Fifteen minutes later, we were walking hand-in-hand along her street.
“How are things with your Sensei?” I asked.
“Frosty. I think he knows it’s only a matter of time before I ask him to let me be your student. And I think he knows he really has no option but to agree. I figure sometime in the Spring.”
“You do remember our relationship has to change at that point, right?”
“Yes, of course. You’re a fantastic lover, but in the end, this is a fling; my first fling ever. It’s glorious, but it can’t last. You said so yourself back when I first teased you about it. I’m not some dreamy-eyed sixteen-year-old with fantasies of you being in love with me!”
“There is something to be said for Ben Franklin’s opinion on the matter, though you wouldn’t pass his test!”
“He liked older women?”
“Experienced women. For him, taking a girl’s virginity held the potential for WAY too much drama. Not to mention their lack of bedroom skills!”
“You didn’t complain!” Molly laughed.
“I’m not Ben Franklin!”
“Before we go back to talking about karate and mentoring, I’m curious about something.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Would you have done anything differently if you would have known I was a virgin?”
“Probably not. It’s different at twenty-eight than at sixteen, or whatever. You’re more likely to be able to handle it emotionally without regret, and as physically active as you are, there was not much chance of you having an intact hymen.”
“Is that really an issue? The hymen I mean?”
“Mostly, no; but there was one girl who, to use her own words, bled ‘like a stuck pig’ when we did it. But that’s a rarity. Mostly it’s either just like a tiny pinch according to the girls, or no feeling at all because it’s thin or non-existent. Not every virgin bleeds, contrary to popular myth!”
“You sound as if you have quite a bit of experience in that area; I mean with virgins.”
I shrugged, “Enough. But the real concern is emotional. I talked to you enough that I knew you wanted to have sex, and had a clear mind about it. That’s what I’ve done with nearly every partner in the past. I’ve been accused of talking them to death or making them wait far too long!”
“So you could be sure?”
“Exactly. Ben Franklin’s admonition has some truth to it, though I think he exaggerates a bit.”
“And my lack of experience?”
I shrugged, “I can be as crazy as you can imagine; perhaps even crazier; but I’ve had no complaints. Just regular, slow, sweet lovemaking is what I prefer. And, to answer your next question, I actually prefer to be with girls with less experience because I enjoy the teaching and exploration.”
“Kind of like with karate?”
“Yes, and teaching and mentoring in general.”
“I suspect teaching someone about sex is WAY more fun!” Molly teased.
“Short term? Probably. But what really makes me happy is seeing someone I’ve mentored succeed. Those benefits are public and long-lasting. Sex is, in the end, ephemeral.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean in and of itself, it’s simply two bodies generating pleasure for themselves and the other person. Or, it’s for reproduction. What it MEANS is a whole different thing, and very difficult to pin down.”
“Are you saying it’s just physical between us?”
“Is it?” I asked gently.
“I’m not sure how to answer that question.”
“Thus making my point, at least partially. How we feel about it changes over time. Do you feel the same way about it now as you did when you offered the USDA Prime Wisconsin Beaver in Chicago?”
“USDA Prime SHAVED Wisconsin Beaver!” she laughed. “But no. And how I feel changed since the first time we were together.”
“OK. And do you think how you feel today will be how you feel in six months?”
“No, probably not.”
“And it will be different with a steady boyfriend or husband, just as it would have been different if you’d lost your virginity at fifteen instead of twenty-eight.”
“I think I see your point. So what does this mean to you?”
“In this case? It’s my usual way of bonding with someone I want to have an intimate relationship with.”
“Uh, aren’t they the same thing?”
“No. If you do become my student, we’ll have a very intimate relationship, but we won’t be having sex. Sex can be part of an intimate relationship, but it’s not necessary in order to have one.”
“Didn’t you just say it was?”
“Yes. In this case, it is, for now. But it won’t be.”
Molly shook her head, “Every time we talk about deep subjects, I get confused. It seems to make sense, then suddenly you upend the apple cart!”
“Which has the result of making you think,” I replied. “And that’s going to happen for as long as I’m mentoring you. If nothing else, you’ll come out of this with a much better understanding of yourself, which is, actually, the entire point.”
“So us fucking is about me discovering myself?”
“Partly, yes. I’d push you into self-discovery even if we weren’t having sex.”
Molly laughed, “It’s a LOT more fun this way!”
“So, about karate?”
“I want to improve my focus and become more spiritually attuned. You know, be more like you.”
“Careful what you ask for!” I chuckled.
“Seriously? You seem as if you have it all together! A large, happy family, a successful business, and a gold stripe on your belt!”
“And you have NO idea of the drama which I’ve either generated or been part of over the past twenty years or so.”
“Which means I can have the benefit of that pain without having to go through it myself!”
“One of the first lessons I learned was that if you seek to avoid suffering, you’ll suffer even worse!”
“How so?”
“The harder you try to avoid suffering, the more painful that suffering you do experience becomes, precisely because you’re working so hard to avoid it and failing. It’s much better to accept suffering as a normal part of our lives and work through it. It’s OK to seek to minimize it, but trying to avoid completely is a fool’s errand.”
“Where did you learn that?”
“From reading a book by a Roman Catholic monk who spent a lot of time studying Eastern wisdom. His name is Thomas Merton, and the book is called The Seven Storey Mountain. I’d like you to read that, please. It’ll be in your local library, even in Wisconsin!”
“Jerk!” she laughed. “Why that book?”
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January 19, 1989, En-Route from LAX to ORD When the engines of the plane started, Jeri reached over and took my hand. She held it while we pushed away from the gate, and taxied for takeoff. Her grip tightened a bit as we hurtled down the runway, but nothing like the death grip she’d had on my arm for the flight out. The plane roared its way into the air and once we leveled out, Jeri’s grip loosened but she didn’t let go of my hand. “How are you doing?” I asked with a touch of...
September 1982, Chicago, Illinois The weekend was quiet and besides homework, I worked on the program changes for Frank, called Karin, Tatyana, and Kara, and hung out with my usual study group. Monday was refreshingly normal. On Tuesday morning, I handed Katy my completed intake form. She put it in an envelope and stuck it in her bag. She said she’d let me know soon about the interview. On Tuesday afternoon, after having lunch with Stephie, I made my rounds and then I headed over to Sigma...
October 1982, Chicago, Illinois The drive back to Chicago was as uneventful as usual, and I arrived at the apartment just before 6:00pm. When I arrived, Elyse and Stephie were sitting on the couch and Jackie was sitting on the loveseat. Stephie hopped up as I opened the door and greeted me with a hug and a kiss. “Hi, Peaches!” I said. “Glad you’re home, Yankee!” “Hi, Steve,” Elyse and Jackie both said. “Hey,” I replied. “How was the weekend?” “Well, it was just Kurt with me, Stephie,...
June 11, 1989, Chicago, Illinois It was just after 3:00am when I kissed Trish goodbye. She’d been an enthusiastic, energetic, and adventurous lover. We’d done just about anything either of us could think of, though her breasts weren’t large enough for a tit-fuck. The last time had been in the shower where we’d ostensibly gone to clean up afterwards, but instead I ended up taking her from behind as she leaned against the wall of the shower. “I think I’ll have you again, Steve Adams,” she...
May 1978 The first couple of weeks in May were busy with school, work, and friends. Except for Becky, I didn’t even have any dates. But I was OK with that. Well, almost OK. I wanted to see Anna, but it likely wasn’t going to happen until school was out. I had tutoring sessions with Melanie, but she still wouldn’t talk to me about anything other than Spanish. Barely a hello. I was grateful for the tutoring, but it was maddening seeing my friend this way. I hoped someday she could understand...
March, 1982, Milford, Ohio As I drove along I-65, I thought about what Stephanie had asked for and what Bethany had said without even knowing about the request. Of course, because Bethany and I were so in tune, she might have actually had an idea that I was struggling with getting involved with my sister again. I kept turning it over and over in my mind and I kept coming to the same conclusion — that I shouldn’t do it. I was torn between doing what Stephanie wanted and doing what Kara and...
September 7, 1992, Chicago, Illinois “That went reasonably well,” Michelle said when her parents drove off. “There were a few times I thought my expression would give away something I shouldn’t. You were messing with me, weren’t you?” She grabbed both my hands and smiled, “I was telling the truth, in my own way. Thank you!” She leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “So, what’s left?” I asked. “To visit UofC tomorrow and formally withdraw from classes. To spend some time with you and your...
October 1981, Chicago, Illinois I arrived back at the apartment just before 10:00pm and saw the address for the party. I decided I wasn’t particularly interested in going so I put on some music, poured myself a glass of wine, and started reading more about Russia. I was alternating between the history and culture book and the Communist Party book, decided on the history and culture book for this time. I didn’t get much reading done because I was thinking about Tatyana, which led me to...
January 23, 1996, Chicago, Illinois “Father, bless!” I said, greeting Father Basil with upturned palms. “Bless you, Stephen,” he said as I kissed his hand. The waiter showed us to a quiet table along the wall of Roditys in Greektown. He took our drink orders and was back quickly. We placed our food orders right away and he left to put them in with the kitchen. “I’m not quite sure how to address this, so I’m just going to ask you bluntly. Are you the father of Michelle’s baby?” I shook my...
June 29, 1995, Chicago, Illinois On Thursday, I finally had lunch with Melissa again, something I hadn’t been looking forward to. Much like with Cèlia, Melissa and I had passed an inflection point and I was left with sub-optimal paths forward. I’d been struggling with the possible solutions, and all of them had pitfalls. When I walked into Takumi, I had something of a plan. Whether it was good or not would only be known once everything played out. “I spoke to my wives,” I said after we’d...
December 5, 2000, Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minnesota “I had a good time last night,” I said. “I was surprised you invited a friend!” Mary laughed as we walked into the exam room, “Naomi had a good time as well. You know what a Resident’s life is like.” I nodded, “No social life.” “Exactly. You guys seemed to hit it off pretty well.” “Yes, but I’m not here for that!” “You’re everywhere for that, and you know it!” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Let’s just say that you hit the sweet spot -...
March 1980, Hovås/Göteborg, Sweden I woke early as usual, but just enjoyed being in bed with Katt. When she woke, she hopped out of bed and pulled a robe out of her closet and handed it to me. “There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom. Go have your shower, then we’ll have breakfast after I have my shower.” I quickly showered and brushed my teeth, and went back to Katt’s room. She went to shower and came back a few minutes later. She dressed, and I got a very good look at her sexy body...
April 5, 1997, Chicago, Illinois “You missed cuddles this morning!” Birgit said accusingly when I walked into the house about 9:30am. “I know, Pumpkin, but I had a work emergency and had to go see Aunt Joyce and Grandpa A.” “And now we have to get ready for karate!” “I know. We’ll have some family time this afternoon. I don’t have any plans.” “Good!” I hugged her and the rest of the kids, then went to find Kara. We hugged and kissed, and went straight upstairs to get ready for...
September 3, 1989, Chicago, Illinois “Good morning, Sensei,” I said, bowing to Sensei Jim. “Good morning!” he said waving me to a chair in his office. “How was your trip?” I asked. “Enlightening. I spent most of my time acting as a manservant to Sensei Robert and Sensei Hiro.” “He who will lead, must first serve,” I said. “Someday, I’m going to send you to Sensei Hiro, should he live long enough. You understand.” “Does that mean you are now 6th Dan?” I...
October 29, 2000, Chicago, Illinois Birgit followed me as far as the stairs, then scooted upstairs when I went to the front door and opened it. “Hi!” Sophie said. “Hi!” I replied and held the door open so she could come into the house. I closed the door behind her then led her to my study where I waited until she went in, and then walked in, closing the door behind me. I nodded to one of the wingback chairs, she sat down in one, and I sat down in the other. “Is something wrong?” she...
August, 1983, Chicago, Illinois I walked in the near 90°F heat to Carla’s place. I was grateful that the humidity of the morning had dropped significantly; otherwise the heat would have been unbearable. By the time I walked up the steps to the apartment over the photography studio and knocked on her door, I had broken into a light sweat. Carla answered almost immediately and invited me inside her studio apartment. The air was moderately cool, and the window air conditioner was running full...
July 1982, Milford, Ohio On Tuesday morning, I kissed Kara goodbye and headed to my parents’ house for my usual morning routine with my little sister. She was happy that I could spend the morning with her and asked to take a walk, so we weren’t in the house with my mom. “Let me guess — this walk will end in the clearing,” I said with a smile. “Yes,” she said, taking my hand as we walked down Overlook towards Klondyke. As usual, we turned around and walked back, taking the path to the...
March 13, 1994, Chicago, Illinois “Hi, Steve!” Ailea said when she opened the door. “Hi,” I replied, accepting the offered hug. There was no touching of lips, just of cheeks, and I wondered if I’d misread her intentions at her birthday lunch, or if, perhaps, she detected my reluctance to return the offered affection. “Lunch is ready, so go ahead and sit. I’ll bring it in from the kitchen.” I went to the low table, sat down, and a minute later, Ailea brought miso soup and sushi, our usual...
April 3, 1997, Dallas, Texas “Remember what I said about drinking too much,” I said, as I poured bourbon into three cups. We’d stopped at a liquor store, bought a bottle of Blanton’s, and then returned to the small suite I’d reserved at the Westin. Deborah’s room was down the hall, and Krissy’s was two floors below. Krissy’s comment had caught me a bit off guard, but I hadn’t reacted visibly. I didn’t know her quite well enough to know if she’d been teasing with Deborah, so I was being...
March 28, 1991, Chicago, Illinois “This day belongs to you, Kara!” I said when the three of us woke on Thursday morning. “Happy birthday!” Jessica said. “Thanks,” Kara replied happily. “I think I’d like an amazing birthday fuck from our husband, and then a nice loving shower with my wife!” Kara said. “Do we have enough time?” I asked. Jessica giggled, “I set the alarm for thirty minutes earlier!” “Then let’s not waste any of it!” I said pulling Kara to me. Kara’s squeals as I plunged...
September 4, 2000, Chicago, Illinois On Monday morning I went to my study to make a surreptitious call to ensure that the surprise I’d planned for Kara was still going to happen, and after confirming that it was, Jesse, Matthew, Michael, and I began preparing for the Labor Day party by getting beer and soda into coolers, getting the grill ready, setting up tables and chairs in the backyard, and ensuring the liquor cabinets were stocked while my wives and daughters worked on food prep in the...
September 1, 1987, Chicago, Illinois “I heard that you have some kind of plan to help Ed,” I said to Connie. “There’s no plan,” she replied. “A witness who saw the shopkeeper alive after Ed left came forward.” That sounded convenient, and I wondered if the witness was real or someone that Anthony had put forward to solve the problem. Certainly, the videotape was real, because I couldn’t imagine how Anthony could have faked that, but the witness? Who knew? “So is he being released? Or is...
August 17, 1997, Chicago, Illinois We finished lunch and Marissa and the younger kids went to play, but Natalie sat with the adults to talk, with coffee, tea, or soft drinks. The Sarcus were very comfortable, but the Heaths were still struggling. But, vitally, they hadn’t left and hadn’t insisted Natalie leave the group. “Can you explain how you developed this attitude and approach?” Chris asked. I nodded, “It started when I was just a bit younger than Natalie. My mom was a total control...
July 1979 — Falkenberg, Sweden On Friday, when I got back from my run, Pam was in her bra and panties again. I whistled at her, she giggled, then finished dressing. I showered, and we went to breakfast and finished up our last day. Once class was done, we were pretty much free. On Saturday, we’d have several optional activities and then on Sunday we’d head back to our host families. After dinner on Friday, I took Pam’s hand and we walked towards the river. It was quiet and peaceful, and...
July 1980, Over the North Atlantic We reached cruising altitude, and I settled back to read my book. Pam raised the armrest between us, snuggled close to me and read as well. The cabin crew offered drinks, and I had my first Coke in a year! Meal service began about an hour and a half into the flight. After the cabin crew picked up the trays and offered drinks again, they passed once more, offering headsets for the movie. Trevor and Maria took them, but Pam and I didn’t, instead we turned on...
I was nervous and barely slept last night. All I could think about was the months and months that had gone into making today happen. I would say there are many jokes about this service in the media. But I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to give up ten years of my life, no matter how thrilling it may seem. I reread the email confirming my drafting into service multiple times last night. Dear Michael, Congratulations, you have met all of the qualifications and are now drafted into the...
July 8, 1997, Chicago, Illinois “Is it really that surprising?” Leah asked. “I suppose not,” I replied. “I just didn’t read too much into the kiss on the cheek.” “I didn’t think it was a good idea to kiss you on the lips with all those people around, because I had no idea who they were or what they would think. You were VERY careful with our dance, so I kind of followed your lead.” Which showed very mature thinking on her part. Both of these girls were exactly the kind of students I...
November 8, 1993, Chicago, Illinois A dark fog swirled before my eyes as I tried to take stock. My head hurt, badly. I felt something on my face and realized, dimly, it was an oxygen mask. My right hand was uncomfortable and I recognized the feeling of an IV and pulse-oximeter. My left arm ached fiercely. On my chest I felt the pads and wires of an EKG. I didn’t feel anything else wrong as I continued taking inventory. I tried to open my eyes, but the fog didn’t clear. I tried to speak, but...
August, 1983, Chicago, Illinois In the morning Anala and I ran as we had the previous time, then showered together, carefully washing each other’s bodies in an intimate but non-sexual way. After our shower we went to the kitchen and I made breakfast and we sat down to eat. “Steve, may I make a suggestion?” she asked. “Sure.” “Broaden your circle of friends. Other than me, all of you are white, nominally Christian, 20-year-old Americans. And you don’t invite me to your Sunday...
June 23, 2000, Chicago, Illinois “Steve,” Kimmy said over the intercom, “I have a Suzanne Aavik for you.” “Thanks,” I replied. “Put her through, please.” A few seconds later, Suzanne was on the line. “Hi!” she exclaimed when I greeted her. “I’m in Chicago for three weeks. Can I still run away and join the circus?” I chuckled, “You might want to find out what the circus is actually like before you join! If you’re free, you’re welcome to come to the house tomorrow or Sunday and meet the...
March 1979 Monday was back to the normal routine of school. Debbie Courtney, who lived across the street and had turned fourteen the last week in February, started flirting more with me on the bus each day. Debbie Vaughn, who lived just down the street, would turn fourteen on March 16th and invited me to her birthday party. And Donna Woody, who lived just down the street in the other direction, would turn fourteen on March 20th. She had made it clear what she wanted for her birthday, and in...