Always Faithful Chapter Thirty Five
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It was another day before Lady Eslada and Queen Lorida sent a request for Jorgarn to visit with them at the castle. Jorgarn had buried himself in his training routine in preparation for his return to Longview. He tried to force all thoughts of his conversation with the Princess and the King out of his head. Sir Torbert had been conspicuous by his absence so Jorgarn had yet to be able to ask him some of the questions that had come to him unbidden.
He could sense Denae's presence in his head periodically but for the most part, she seemed content to let him work though his questions on his own. He couldn't fathom that he and the Princess were expected to have a relationship.
What of her husband? Was Jorgarn expected to learn that aspect of court life with the Princess as well then forego it completely when she married? What if he married? No woman he knew, even the downtrodden souls in Longview, would put up with that. Perhaps he was forbidden from getting married in the future. Maybe discretion was required. He could understand Denae's point. They would be together almost all the time. She would rarely be without him by her side. But still, to think the Princess and future Queen would consent to such a relationship with someone like him boggled Jorgarn's mind.
Lorida seemed to sense his discomfort when he arrived at the castle. She patted him gently on the shoulder and told him everything would be clear in time. So far, Jorgarn thought, each new day brought something else to muddy the picture. When he had come to Emertland, he had thought he had a good idea of where his simple future would lead.
Now, mere weeks later, his life was filled with intrigue, conspiracies and the prospect of standing – and lying – beside the future ruler of the land.
Jorgarn's sense of dread deepened as he looked at where he soon would reside. It was a suite of rooms, not a chamber. He would share a sitting room with Princess Denae, thus giving her access to his rooms and he access to hers without alerting the others in the castle. Jorgarn silently wondered who else lived in this wing. He suspected Rayna did but that was likely to change once Pernice asked for her hand in marriage. Or maybe it wouldn't.
The three rooms that were to be his in the castle were larger than the four rooms and common area of the barracks. He shook his head in frustration.
"When will I be expected to move in here?" he asked Lorida.
"Soon," she answered. "Your formal training with Torbert will start next week. It is expected that you will be housed here because much of what you learn is secret in nature. There is almost a fraternity of Knights. From what I've heard, each one keeps a journal from the day of his formal induction until he is no longer able to keep one. That journal is bequeathed to his successor. It is never to be read by anyone else. Neither the King nor Torbert's wife has ever read his if the rumors are true. In fact, you and the Princess have already stumbled onto one of the closest-guarded secrets – the mental connection. It has long been rumored that the Monarch and his or her Knight would always know where the other was – if the bond was strong. But now we know for certain."
Jorgarn's mouth dropped. He had never intended to reveal anything that was supposed to be kept confidential.
"Don't worry, Jorgarn," the Queen said. "The only ones who know have been sworn to secrecy. Outside of Landor and Torbert, of course, the only ones who know for certain are Rayna and Pernice, Eslada and me. Masters Fieth and Renoit suspect, I believe. But unless you told them outright, it is only suspicion. Melodart and Gorin also know but they have been circumspect in their conversations. We have tried to avoid discussing it when anyone else was nearby. But that has been difficult with Denae."
Jorgarn sighed.
"I have been ignoring her in the last couple of days," he admitted. "The last conversation we had threw me a bit. There are portions of this that I am uncomfortable with."
Eslada glanced at Lorida and the Queen exited quietly.
"Are there things you are uncomfortable with or things you think you should be uncomfortable with?" Eslada asked. "Or is it more a general lack of knowledge? I am fairly certain that you did not spread your charms around with the village girls. I would have heard of it, I'm certain. I also know the servants were never molested without their consent and active participation. If you have questions about things, I'll bet Torbert or even Landor will be willing to discuss them."
Jorgarn blushed scarlet. There was no way he was going to solicit advise on such things from the uncle or father of his prospective conquest. It would be suicide.
"Yes, I suppose that would be awkward," Eslada said when she realized what she suggested. "Well, your father is out. He knows less than you do, I'll wager. I wouldn't ask your friends, either. Anything they would tell you would either be a lie or illegal."
"He could ask me," a voice said from the doorway.
Jorgarn turned to see Denae standing there. At least she was smiling.
Jorgarn once again found himself embarrassed by a conversation with the Princess. She had asked Eslada for a few moments of privacy and Eslada had patted Jorgarn lightly on the cheek with embarrassment and departed.
"I'm sorry that I said that," Denae told him. "But I thought you should know. I only found out myself a short while ago. Jorgarn, it is something else we will learn together. We will learn to please one another. Can you please just trust me about this?"
"I do trust you, Princess," Jorgarn replied. "It simply takes time to get used to the idea."
"It didn't take me much time," Denae said with a wide smile and raised eyebrows. "Actually, I was thinking about it even before I found out that it was not only acceptable but it was encouraged. It is something that we will get to slowly and I will never command you to do something like that. Well, not outwardly."
A picture of a very naked Denae popped into Jorgarn's head.
"This connection has its side benefits, too," she laughed.
"You're much prettier than that," Jorgarn said. He pictured Denae, fully clothed, in his head as he saw her. She blushed brightly.
"Is that how you see me?" she asked in wonder. "I look like a portrait. There is even a golden glow around me. That's the ridiculous notion you've got to lose."
Another picture, this one of Denae looking up while seated on a toilet entered his head.
"Every time I think you're holding me in too high of regard, you're going to see that," she warned. She giggled for a moment before her face turned serious. "Jorgarn, I like you. I enjoy being with you. I enjoy our conversations and I like the fact you often see things from a different perspective than I do. I envision great things in our future. Do I believe that any two people can be in close proximity – mentally, physically and spiritually – without problems arising?"
Denae's face eased and she smiled slightly.
"No," she answered her own question. "Do I think there are not going to be moments when you drive me to distraction with something you say or do or don't say or don't do? Oh, those moments will come, perhaps more for you than for me. However, none of our bright future will come to pass; we will never be truly as great as we could be, if you don't stop viewing me as untouchable. I am touchable and it is you that I want touching me."
Another giggle escaped before Denae could stop it.
"Well, in a few days I am touchable," she said. "For now, I suppose I'm not entirely touchable. There is one tradition that must be upheld. I must be pure on my wedding bed. Outside of that one detail, it is you who will I wish to join me on my path of learning in that area, too."
Jorgarn had relaxed somewhat because he had resigned himself to the fact that it was going to happen. He had seen enough and heard enough of the Princess to know that when she put her mind to something, it came to pass.
"There are things I need to understand, Denae," he said softly. "But I'm not certain you are the correct one to answer them. It's not because they are embarrassing but because I'm not certain you will know the answer. However, I will ask them anyway.
"What happens when you marry? What happens if I wish to marry? Am I permitted to marry? What happens to our relationship when one of us marries? Does it stop? I get the impression that it doesn't. How do we present that fact to our spouses? The last Queen's rule ended more than 70 years ago. Society has changed greatly in that time. How am I expected to live with infidelity? I am positive that I would be unhappy if I learned my wife was expected to have a close, loving relationship with someone else. Torbert and the two Knights before him protected Kings. It was easy for them to have a portion of their lives separate from the Knighthood. It seems as though my job will be all-encompassing. No woman I know would be convinced to allow what will happen between you and me to continue. At least I can't believe it to be so."
Denae nodded slightly.
"Well, Jorgarn, I believe I can address some of your concerns but it is not the correct time to speak to all of them," she answered. "The time comes soon, though. First, let me answer the final problem. You will be the most sought-after male in Emertland as soon as word reaches the nobility of your Knighthood. Lords and Ladies will line up their sons and daughters for the opportunity to wed the Princesses or her Knight. It is a fact. Your task will be easier than mine in that regard. I must be wed to a Lord or an heir to a Lordship. At the very least, I must marry the eldest son of a foreign ruler, even if succession is somewhat muddied for him. You may marry anyone you choose. I do not think you are even restricted from marrying a commoner, if you would like. I would wager, Jorgarn, that there will be pinching and hair pulling at the Ascension Ceremony between high-born ladies wishing to share the first dance with you. Just as every Lord and Lady has paraded their first-born sons before me since I was 10 years old in hope that I will fall madly in love with him.
"You realize, of course, that my first child will inherit the Crown. If they are near in age, your second son will be considered a favorite for the Knighthood – assuming, of course, that your second son is not borne from me. Although I'm not sure that would matter, either. Well, more on that later. Suffice to say that many women – young and old – will wish to be your partner. The relationship that you and I develop and cultivate will not pose an obstacle for most of them."
Denae had seen the look on Jorgarn's face turn to a frown.
"Why would I marry someone who could accept that?" he asked. "I do not plan to marry for political affiliation."
He stopped suddenly and revelation dawned on him.
"I do not get to choose my wife, do I?" he asked with a grim chuckle. "You do. You will decide who I can marry or even if I can marry. Just as your father will decide for you."
Denae patted his hand softly.
"Technically, that is true," she said. "It will be up to me to present viable candidates to you. Depending upon the circumstances, you may be asked to marry the daughter of an influential noble house or a powerful foreign ally. Just as it might come to pass that I will be forced to do the same thing. In principal, though, I do not foresee it. For either of us. We would gain nothing by accepting spouses that did not suit us. For example, your father married Eslada not for her charm or her wit. He married her to ensure goods and services would still be transported from Emertland to Longview and vice versa. Longview's ties to Emertland died with my mother. Lorida was selected because her mother is the Queen of Calad. Lorida is not in line to inherit the throne. But her marriage to my father was not based upon affection but rather upon expediency. It was not political, however. My father believed I needed a woman's influence around the household and Lorida seemed to fit the role. Jorgarn, like it or not, it would have been the same if you stayed in Longview."
Jorgarn shook his head.
"Their priests do not marry," he said. "The priests' children are born to the church acolytes. It is a complicated system that I am unable to explain because I do not know the half of it. But you can believe me when I say that I would never be handed a wife without my consent."
"And it is unlikely that you will here," Denae said sweetly. "I promise you that if it is at all possible, you will be allowed to select your own bride. Or at least to have her select you."
She smirked slightly.
"And what will you do when some woman sets her mind toward having you as her husband?" Denae continued. "Whatever will happen when some poor, misguided woman decides that you are the person she should spend her life beside?"
Jorgarn returned the look.
"If I agree, I suppose I will try to marry her," Jorgarn said. "If I disagree, why I will simply have to leave the matter in your hands. After all, you could no more put up with a disagreeable wife for me than I could."
Denae laughed. She was relieved that Jorgarn was starting to relax around her.
"Ah, I suppose I always knew I would be dragged into your marital disharmony," Denae joked. "Alas, it is the price I must pay for having someone as disagreeable as you near me. So, do you understand that although it is not inevitable that you and I will be together in some form or fashion, it is somewhat unlikely that our relationship won't drift that way upon occasion? I already like you and respect you."
"I like and respect you, Princess," Jorgarn replied.
"You respect me too much," Denae answered.
"Perhaps," Jorgarn admitted. "But it is lessening. I mean the too much part. Not the respect. I still respect you."
Denae put her hand on the flustered man's arm.
"I understand what you mean," she said with a laugh. A part of her still enjoyed seeing Jorgarn in less than perfect control. "Do you think we can discuss another serious topic or will your mind keep wandering to bedding me?"
"We can discuss whatever you deem necessary," Jorgarn said, although his cheeks pinked lightly.
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