Nandita To Nandini
- 4 years ago
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August 20, 1982, McKinley, Ohio
“Mike Loucks,” I said to the young woman at the desk in the brand-new Rickenbacker dorm.
She flipped through the manila envelopes and pulled out the one with my name on it.
“Your room key, a sticker for your ID to update it for this year, a new student handbook, and your parking sticker,” she said.
“Parking sticker?”
“The lots are all numbered now, and you can only park in the lot you’re assigned to. Yours should be next to this dorm.”
“What about guests?”
“There’s a guest parking lot on the far side of campus. No stickers are required for that lot.”
“If you know, why did they do this?”
“With the new dorm and an additional 800 students this year, the administration was concerned about parking.”
“OK. Are there any other new rules?”
“They added a section on parking rules into the student handbook. There is also a new section about sexual assault you should read.”
“Thanks,” I replied, then turned to my dad, “Let’s go check the room before we get a cart to move everything.”
He nodded and we walked over to the elevator. When the doors opened, we got in and I pressed ‘8’, the top floor, where I was in room 803-A. We rode up, exited the elevator, and turned to the left, quickly coming to room 803. I unlocked the door and pushed it open. The common room was somewhat bigger than the one in the previous dorm, and had two couches, instead of one, and a table with two chairs.
“Nice,” Dad said.
I nodded, “I agree. And the window air conditioner is a nice plus.”
I unlocked the door to the room marked ‘A’ and saw that it, too, was bigger than my previous room.
“This is nice as well,” my dad said. “Not like our dorms when your mom and I were in school! We both had roommates and we had a single sleeping area, and that was about it; no couches, or anything! Shall we get your stuff?”
“Yes!”
It took nearly an hour to move everything from the cars and arrange my room. Dad helped me set up the stereo, and put my albums on the free-standing shelves I’d purchased, as I’d had to keep some of the albums on stacks the previous semester. Once we were finished, I went back downstairs with my dad, shook hands, and after he had driven away, I put the parking sticker on my car and headed back into the dorm.
“Hey, White Boy!” I heard a deep voice call out.
“Clark!” I called back, walking over to him.
We shook hands warmly.
“How was your Summer? Full of babes, booze, and blunts?”
I chuckled, “Yeah, right! It was pretty much work, karate, and hanging out with friends. Nothing crazy.”
Clark laughed, “Mine wasn’t either, unfortunately. I spent the Summer working construction. I met some good guys, including one who’s at Ohio State studying criminal justice. He’s a nice white guy like you. He seems to know every diner in the Cincinnati area! He’s got a smoking hot white girl he’s engaged to.”
“I could give you Emmy’s number,” I grinned.
“I do NOT have a death wish! But she’s a sweet little thing! And you know what they say?”
“Once you go black you never go back?” I grinned.
“It’s true! Help me and my mom move my shit?”
“Sure!”
While we were moving his things, we ran into Jason, Pete, and Marie. I greeted all of them warmly, and as more of our friends arrived, we all shifted to helping them move their things in, and by mid-afternoon, the entire gang was back together. Melody had said ‘hello’, but had given me the cold shoulder for the entire time, including when I helped carry a box to her room. She eventually disappeared into her room without a word to anyone, as far as I was aware.
“What happened between you and your main squeeze?” Clark asked when Melody disappeared.
“We had a difference of opinion,” I said.
“So you DID have some babes over the Summer!” he laughed.
“Yes, but that’s not the real problem. But forget that! We have a new semester to worry about.”
“And an entire Freshman class to divide between us!” he grinned.
“I think we should leave some for Carter, Larry, Pete, and Jason, don’t you?”
“I suppose it would be pretty low not to share with my bros! What are you doing tonight?”
“I have a date with Katy,” I said.
“So you’re still seeing her? And you and Angie?”
“Nothing changed with either of them.”
“Hey, where’s your best friend? Wasn’t she supposed to be here?”
“Going to Purdue,” I sighed. “And it’s a long story.”
“All bullshit aside, if you need to talk, I’m here for you.”
“Thanks.”
When we finished moving everyone in, we all went to buy our books, and after the general grousing about the cost of the textbooks, we carried our purchases back to the dorm. Melody hadn’t been with us, so I decided to take the bull by the horns and go talk to her. I walked down the hallway to her room, happy that in this dorm, there were no restrictions about when and where we could be. The girls’ bathroom had a locking door which their room keys opened, but otherwise, we were free to mingle and there were no rules about ‘overnight’ guests who were also living in the dorm.
I knocked on the door to 817 and waited. Melody’s roommate opened the door.
“I’d like to see Melody,” I said. “I’m Mike.”
“One sec,” she said.
She knocked on the ‘B’ door of room 817 and I saw Melody open it. She saw me and came to the door.
“I’d hoped you would talk to me,” I said.
“I believe you made it clear we have nothing to talk about when you didn’t call me back. Where’s Jocelyn?”
“Not here. She’s going to Purdue.”
“You broke up with her?”
“She wasn’t my girlfriend; you were. What was going on between Jocelyn and me was all about our relationship since kindergarten. It’s hard to explain.”
“And she’s not going to be here?”
“No. Not this year and probably never.”
“Your decision or hers?”
I frowned, “A decision I made led to her decision.”
Melody smiled, “You told her you wouldn’t sleep with her.”
“It’s WAY more complex than that. Can we have the rest of this conversation in private?”
“Sure. Come in.”
I went into the room and she led me into her sleeping area and shut the door. She turned on a radio, and tuned it to a ‘Top 40’ station.
“I’m not sleeping with ANYONE right now.”
“Let me guess,” she sighed. “Some priest told you to stop.”
I shook my head, “No. Well, yes, but that has nothing to do with this. It was my decision, based on everything that has happened, and it’s not a permanent thing. I need to get my head screwed on straight, and that means not having that kind of relationship with anyone.”
“And you think I’ll accept that kind of situation?”
I shrugged, “It’s a decision I’ve made.”
“You know my opinion on that.”
“I do.”
“Then I guess there isn’t anything left to talk about, is there?”
“I suppose not. I was hoping we could still be friends. If not, it’s going to be really uncomfortable with the gang.”
“You can have them in the divorce,” Melody replied flatly.
“It doesn’t have to be that way!” I protested.
“It’ll be easier if we just do it my way.”
“I disagree. I wish you’d reconsider.”
“Come to bed.”
“Back to that?” I asked, shaking my head.
“We had this conversation and I’m not going to rehash it,” Melody declared firmly. “Go hang out with your friends.”
“Where’s the strong, intelligent woman who helped me work though my problems last semester?”
“Not interested in babysitting you!”
I realized I wasn’t going to make any progress with Melody and I still didn’t understand why she was behaving so differently. I thought back to my break-ups in the past, but really, only the one with April had been serious enough to call a break up. Jocelyn was a whole different thing, and I couldn’t compare ANYTHING to that.
As I thought about it, I saw some parallels to the two situations, and what I saw scared me. Not because of Melody, but because of Jocelyn. When Nancy and I had split up, we managed to stay friends, though it had been a bit rocky after the first break up. I’d heard tales of horrible break ups in High School, but neither Jocelyn nor Dale had one, so I really had no experience. But, if April and Melody were typical, that didn’t bode well for me and Jocelyn.
In the end, I decided that Melody was right — there really was nothing more to say. I turned and left, and realized I needed to chat with Angie. I hadn’t had time to talk to her while we were all moving nor when we’d gone to buy books. I walked two doors down to 813 and knocked. Angie opened the door.
“You look like someone killed your puppy,” she said. “Want to come in?”
“How about we take a walk? I need to go to the Quick Mart to stock my fridge. I’ll buy you a Coke!”
Angie laughed softly, “You don’t need to bribe me to spend time with you!”
“Thanks.”
We walked to the elevator and rode down the lobby, then walked towards the Quick Mart which was now four blocks further away.
“What’s bugging you? Jocelyn?”
“Among other things. The last twenty-four hours have been pretty bad. Melody just told me she doesn’t want to be friends, last night I had perhaps the worst date of my life, and Jocelyn told me that she’ll talk to me, but not too often.”
“What happened last night?”
“I went out with Janey, whom you met when you visited, and she read me off for being too focused on my medical training. Well, that, and not wanting to have sex.”
“On a first date?”
“You know we hung out a bit before that date, so it was only technically a first date. And if you remember, I worked with Amelia, her older sister, at the hardware store; that’s how we got to be friends. We teased and joked a lot, the three of us, and I guess Janey got the wrong idea.”
“But you got into an argument about you being a doctor?”
“That and about sex. Melody gave me grief about that, too.”
“You talked to her?”
“I tried to, but she told me she wasn’t interested in, as she put it, ‘babysitting’ me. That was after she made it clear she felt sex was a required part of a relationship. I’m confused as hell. I thought deciding to be celibate, at least for the time being, was a good thing. Instead it upset Jocelyn, Melody, and Janey. I’m not quite sure what lesson I’m supposed to learn.”
“Sex is complicated.”
“No kidding,” I sighed. “My mom told me that. And so did my dad. It’s just confusing that I spent all of High School trying to find someone to do it with and now that I’ve done it, I’m thinking I might have made a mistake.”
“Doing it? Or stopping?”
“Is that a serious question?”
“Actually, yes. I could see you meaning it either way. Or maybe both.”
“Then you understand my confusion.”
“In a way, yes.”
We arrived at the Quick Mart and walked inside. I saw Paula working at the register.
“Hi, Paula!” I said.
“Hi, Mike! Welcome back.”
“Thanks. How’s your daughter?”
“Growing like a weed! How are you doing?”
“I’m doing OK. Is Nancy working today?”
“Yes. She’s on break. She should be out in a few minutes.”
“OK. I’ll get what I need.”
Angie and I picked up the soft drinks, snacks, and a few other things I wanted for my room. The last thing we picked up were two ice-cold Cokes from the fridge. Nancy was there when we brought everything back to the counter.
“Hi, Mike!”
“Hi! How are you doing?”
“Good. You?”
“OK,” I replied. “Ready for Monday?”
“Yes! Mom and I were hoping you’d come to dinner one night in the next few weeks.”
“I’d like that,” I said.
She rang up my purchase and put everything into brown paper grocery bags. After paying, Angie and I took the bags and headed back towards the dorm.
“That one seems to have worked out OK,” Angie said when we were about a block away.
“Only because we both managed to acknowledge our mistakes.”
“Do you think she wants to get back together?”
“I don’t know, and that’s just about the furthest thing from my mind right now.”
“What are you doing tonight?”
“I have a date with Katy, but I’ll be back in time for our evening prayers.”
When we arrived back at the dorm, Angie helped me put everything away, and then I went to take a shower. After the shower, I dressed and headed down to my car for the drive to Circleville. Katy and I had a nice evening together, and when I returned to McKinley, Angie and I did our evening prayers before I walked her to her room and received the usual ‘good night’ kiss on the cheek.
August 21, 1982, McKinley, Ohio
“Do you have some time to talk after we finish eating lunch?”
“Sure,” Clarissa said. “Is there a problem?”
“Later, OK?”
She nodded, and when we finished lunch, she and I headed back to my room. I’d already let Angie know I was going to talk to Clarissa, so she headed off with Jeannette and Marie, while the guys went to toss a football.
“What’s up?”
“I’m getting grief about being too focused on my medical training.”
“I think that’s pretty common for kids who are driven to be doctors. I’ve heard that a lot, but my situation is sort of unique.”
“Unique? Why?”
“It was mostly wanting to be a doctor, but having that reputation, and dressing the way I do kept the guys from hitting on me.”
“Sorry, I didn’t even think about that.”
She smiled, “I’m ‘just Clarissa’ to you, and that is NOT a bad thing! I came out to you because I was sure you would understand. Despite being as stupidly driven and focused as I am, deep down you’re a sensitive guy. YOU hide that the way I hid the fact I prefer girls.”
“Stupidly driven?” I asked.
“Isn’t it? Look at everything we have to give up to do this. The rest of the world thinks it’s stupid. Well, at least until they’re in the ER or in surgery and NEED people who have gone through the wringer. Then it’s not so stupid to them. Our lives are going to suck at least until we’re Senior Residents. And it’s going to suck for anyone involved with us. You know that part.”
“I do,” I sighed. “So then what?”
“You want trauma, right? But not surgery?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve done a lot of research and discovered you’ll most likely Match your first or second choice, assuming you ace the MCAT. There aren’t enough people crazy enough to go into trauma, so most people list it as their third or fourth option, as a backup.”
“Gee, thanks!” I grinned.
“From what I’ve read, it takes a special kind of person to do that successfully as a career. You have to be able to turn off your emotions. And you’ll lose a lot of patients.”
“And you?”
“Internal medicine, I think. It’s another specialty with fewer first choices. It’s a fallback for people who want cardiology or surgery. I decided that’s a better option for me than surgery.”
“I’m missing your point.”
“We’re not competing with each other! So we team up. You totally understand the situation, and so do I. We’re already going to study together, why not be close friends?”
A light bulb went on in my head.
“Did you plan this? Is that why you came out to me?”
She smiled, “Yes. A very close family friend is a doctor in Chicago. He’s a cardiologist, and he’s been giving me advice. He’s the one who suggested I approach you about the study group, and then over the Summer, about becoming friends.”
“Does anyone else here know?”
She shook her head, “No. Besides you, the only person besides that doctor in Chicago who knows is my gynecologist. When we had the talk about birth control and VD, I explained how I felt. Fortunately, she was cool about it. A lot of people aren’t.”
“A lot of people are too uptight,” I replied. “So you never dated a girl or anything?”
She shook her head again, “No. Do you know how risky it would have been to do that in High School? And my parents would have lost it. Did YOU know anyone in High School who was gay?”
“No. But then again, I wasn’t exactly clued into the social scene in High School. There were rumors, but I never put any stock in them. And you?”
“I withdrew from everyone. When I was a Freshman, I went to one of the dances, you know, got the cute dress, fixed my hair, all that stuff. I loved dancing with the girls, and hated dancing with the boys. And at fourteen, you could still get away with dancing with the girls without anyone saying anything.”
“Guys could NEVER do that.”
Clarissa smiled, “Very true. Anyway, I got hit on a lot after that dance, so I started dressing in baggy shirts and pants, and not fixing my hair. It cut down on the attention, and then I was always studying, and after giving that excuse a few times, the guys all gave up. I was ‘Clarissa the Nerd’ and that was just fine with me.”
“So why not find someone here at school?”
“Southern Ohio isn’t exactly a hotbed of the gay rights movement!”
“No, from what I read, it’s more like Northern Georgia than it is New York or California. Heck, I know someone whose dad was in the Klan.”
“That’s rural southern Ohio for you — rednecks and racists. You seem to have escaped.”
“I think it might have a lot to do with being Russian Orthodox. Orthodox bishops marched with Doctor Martin Luther King during the 60s, and their teachings have permeated the church. But you haven’t found anyone?”
“It’s not easy, Mike. All I could do was guess and take a chance. And the results could be horrible. I seriously considered going to school in the Bay Area in California because there are places to go to meet people.”
“That stinks, really.”
“There’s another problem, and that is that if the word got out, I could be refused entry into medical school, or not Match.”
“That’s a load of crap!”
“Of course it is, but the doctor in Chicago said that given the way the Match works, it’s nearly impossible to know you’re being discriminated against. He’s black, by the way, and didn’t get his first choice in the Match, most likely because of that. You know how it works — I list my choices and the hospital lists theirs, and neither side has to say why they made the choices they did. The only defense is a very long list of choices and trying my best to ensure at least one hospital doesn’t know about it.”
March 15, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “I’m Clarissa Saunders and this is Mike Loucks! We’re Sophomores and we’ll be your guides for your campus tour, and we’ll do our best to answer any questions you have.” I surveyed the prospective Freshmen and wondered if I’d looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck when I’d been on my first campus visit. I probably had, and several of the High School Seniors in our group certainly looked that way, especially one guy who was about an inch taller...
February 27, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “Father, Angie had to withdraw from school for health reasons, and she’s gone home to Cincinnati.” “Lord have mercy! I didn’t realize she was ill! Do you have her home number?” I nodded and handed him a piece of paper, “You might want to speak to her mom first.” He nodded, “I’ll do that. She’s aware of Angela’s intention to be chrismated?” “Yes. They helped her find a church in Loveland to attend last Summer when she was home. They’re supportive, but...
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June 6, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Jos,” I sighed. “It’s not that simple.” “Isn’t it?” “Come on! You know that would end things between Melody and me!” “I believe Melody has been good for you, but is she THE ONE? Wait! Don’t answer. If she was, you wouldn’t be dating Tasha and Katy, and you wouldn’t still be carrying a torch for Angie.” “Angie is just a friend,” I protested. Jocelyn smiled, “I’ll take that wager anytime you want to make it. You can answer my first question now.” I...
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April 3, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “Hi, Mike!” “Hi, Mrs. Landers.” “Come on in. Nancy is putting the finishing touches on dinner.” I hadn’t said anything to Nancy about my fasting rule because I didn’t want to create any issues with their Easter dinner. “Thanks!” “Your Easter isn’t for another month, right?” she asked. “May 8th, though our service starts about 10:30pm the night before.” “We went to midnight mass when I was little, but Nancy and I prefer the first morning mass at 5:30am....
July 23, 1982, Circleville, Ohio “I’m sorry I missed our date late Friday,” Katy said after greeting me with a kiss and letting me into the house. “That’s the fourth time you’ve apologized! I accepted your apology when you called to tell me, and for that, you don’t have to apologize! How is your grandmother?” “No change since we spoke on Wednesday. Mom is still there, so it’s just Dad and me. He’s out with his friends tonight, so we have the run of the house. I figured we’d cook, eat, use...
January 25, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “You won’t believe what happened on Sunday,” Dale laughed. “What?” “You know Pam’s roommate? The hot cheerleader chick?” “The one you’ve been drooling over since day one?” “Yeah, but I think I have to reconsider. Liking her appears to be VERY dangerous!” “What happened?” “Remember how I said she was dating a guy, even though she was hung up on a guy from Chicago?” “Sure.” “I found out Pam dated him at one point, too! The guy is a legend! Anyway, he...
July 25, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Hi, Angie, it’s Mike,” I said when she answered the phone on Sunday afternoon. “Mike? We just talked during the week! What’s up? Is there a problem with me coming to visit in two weeks?” “No, not at all. I wanted to talk to you about the problems I’m having with Jocelyn.” “Uh-oh. Did something bad happen?” “You could say that,” I sighed. “Do you have time to talk? This won’t be a short conversation.” “For you? Of course!” I explained, as best I could,...
February 7, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “Hi!” Kristin gushed when I went to her room just after lunch. “Come in!” I walked into her room and she offered hot cocoa, which I accepted. We sat down on the couch. “Sorry I ran out of cookies. Mom will send more in another week or so.” “I’ll need to run an additional lap every morning to make up for the extra calories!” “I go to a dance class three days a week to keep in shape. I heard you’re into karate.” “Yes, I go three times a week as...
June 25, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea or not,” I replied. “Why?” Becky asked. “We’ve done it before. I don’t have a steady boyfriend. And you said you don’t have a steady girlfriend.” “That’s true. May I ask a very blunt question?” “Sure.” “Are YOU looking to be my girlfriend?” Becky shook her head slowly, “Remember what I said back in October? That I had no illusions about this and that I had no designs on you? But that if I had the ability to make a wish...
August 28, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Duh!” she laughed softly. “I’m in your bed! What do you think?” “I think you need to go back to my sister’s room before she or my parents find out and kill both of us!” “Come on, Mike! I want to do it with you! Don’t you want to do it with me?!” She was cute and had a great body, but the LAST thing I needed was ANY kind of relationship with Mindy, even one where I only did what I’d joked with my mom about doing — banging her like a drum! “Just go,...
September 12, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “Hi, Jos,” I said when her roommate called her to the phone. “Hi. How are things?” ‘Shitty!’ I wanted to say, and not in Russian. I also wanted to tell her I missed her and wanted to see her, but saying that might only make things worse. At this point, though, I wondered what ‘worse’ might be. “OK. How are you doing?” “I’m getting used to the routine and how different things are here from West Monroe.” Her answer was flat, and she sounded...
October 8, 1982, Circleville, Ohio “I want to, yes, of course; but we reset things for good reasons. Why the change?” Katy got up from the couch and sat back down in my lap, draping her arms over my shoulders. “I wanted to from the minute I saw you naked. I’ve dreamed about what it would be like.” “I felt the same way when I saw you naked,” I said. “Well, even before, when you first let me touch you. But I can’t promise you anything right now, Katy.” She sighed deeply, then moved her...
October 16, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio After my talk with Mom, I went to find Liz, and invited her to sit on the floor of my room to talk. We sat side-by-side, leaning against the bed. “Why in here and not in the basement?” I felt it was my duty to warn Liz, as my sister, of the way voices carried through the heating ducts. Mom had told me, in confidence, but I couldn’t in good conscience keep that vital piece of information from Liz. “Because voices carry through the heating ducts,” I...
November 13, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “So, what do you want to do tonight?” Nancy laughed, “As if you have to ask!” “I mean BESIDES that!” “How about we grab some dinner and then see The Man from Snowy River. It’s an Australian film and it’s had excellent reviews. Then we can come back here.” “Dinner and a movie, sure. The other thing? Let’s not move so fast, OK?” “We’ve done it before...” “Yes, we have. Remember that I gave you a choice? I think you immediately figured out what the choice...
November 29, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “Now that you’ve had a night to sleep on it, what do you think?” Sandy asked, snuggling close. “Isn’t that what I’m supposed to ask you?” “Probably, but I thought you might have changed your mind or had more of an idea what you meant.” “I asked my mom if there was anything wrong with marrying a friend.” “Me?! Have you lost your mind?” “A long time ago!” I chuckled. “Probably about the time the heavy doses of testosterone started coursing through my body...
January 2, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio When I arrived at church on Sunday morning, I was pleased to see Deacon Vasily with Father Herman, saying their entry prayers. I stood quietly in the nave while one of the acolytes, a Junior in High School, lit the oil lamps and ensured everything was properly arranged in the altar. As I stood there, I wondered what would happen when Tasha arrived. Where she stood would speak volumes about what had happened the previous evening when they had missed...
March 8, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio “You don’t look happy, Mike,” Mom said when I greeted her after arriving home. “Tasha and I had a serious disagreement.” “Uh-oh. Because of her dad?” I shook my head, “No, it’s way more complicated. We can talk after dinner if that’s OK.” “Sure. Your sister and her friends are up in her room.” “The tradition I started?” I grinned. “Exactly. You had Jocelyn and Dale at every birthday celebration from the time you were in second grade. And before that,...
"Kandi," a voice said. "Time to go to work." "Yes, Mommy," Kandi opened her dark brown eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry." "That's okay, hon," the other woman said. "Give my nips a suck. I want to do you for your coffee break. It makes you more productive. Besides, it's fun." "I like it, too, Dot." "Good news. Hank's coming to Tampa and he has a new girl that he's bringing from Silver Orb." Dorothy was a petite blonde tanned by the Florida with blue eyes and small breasts, but...
December 18, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Don’t you want to give this to Jocelyn directly?” Mrs. Mills asked. “Want to? Sure. But she made it clear she doesn’t want to see me. I’m half-expecting her to return the gift unopened.” “Not if I have anything to say about it!” she replied firmly. “Please don’t force the issue,” I pleaded. “Whatever is wrong with Jocelyn isn’t going to change because you pressure her. In fact, that might actually make things worse. “I’m not sure they could be worse...
December 27, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “I’m tempted, but not tonight. I’m not saying never, but not tonight.” Janey frowned, “Nothing I can do to change your mind?” “Remember what I said about slow but sure.” “Can I see you again before you go back to Taft?” “Maybe Friday?” “Sure.” “We’ll talk at work. You work every day, right?” “Yes. How about another kiss?” I smiled and pulled her closer again and we exchanged another soft French kiss. “Good night,” I said when we broke the kiss a...
February 4, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio “Emmy?! What are you doing here?” “She came to talk to me,” Liz said quietly, from behind me. “OK. Is there anything I can help with?” “No.” “You know, if her dad finds her here...” “I know. Just go upstairs, OK? I’ll come talk to you later.” I nodded and went upstairs. The door to my parents’ bedroom was closed, and I didn’t see any light leaking from under the door, which meant they were most likely asleep. I stopped in the bathroom to brush my...
October 26, 1982, McKinley, Ohio When we returned from biology lab on Tuesday morning, a large group was milling around the entrance to the dorms. I saw Melody and walked over to ask her what the issue was. “The police busted Jeremy for pot,” she said. “Nobody can go into the dorm right now.” “What? For one or two joints? I thought they decriminalized pot.” Melody laughed, “One or two joints? You’re joking, right? He’s the main supplier in our dorm! How did you not know that?” “Because I...
January 21, 1983, McKinley, Ohio I still hadn’t decided on the answer to Clarissa’s final question when Angie and I went to run on Friday morning. One thing I was reasonably sure of was that saying ‘no’ would likely be equivalent to saying, ‘not yet’. Milena and her friends didn’t seem likely to withdraw the offer anytime soon, though they would all complete their Master’s or undergrad degrees in May. But that wasn’t the thing which was in the front of my mind. What was foremost was what...
January 21, 1983, McKinley, Ohio Light snow was falling as Angie and I left Doctor Blahnik’s house to walk back to the dorm. “That was fun,” Angie said. “Sorry about the minor indiscretion.” “It’s OK, Mike. Why would she assume otherwise? She knows we run together, pray together, and go to church together. Why do you think everyone calls me ‘Mrs. Loucks’?” “But still...” “She’s just very open and a lot of fun. I wish more professors were like her, even if she made me turn purple!” “I...
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September 16, 1982, McKinley, Ohio Sandy hadn’t moved, but the feeling of her leaning against me changed with her question. My first thought was Angie, and I lifted my eyes to hers, and found a bemused look on her face. I realized, at that moment, that the dorm opinion of her being ‘Mrs. Loucks’ wasn’t all that far-fetched. In some ways, I was treating her that way, and she certainly was, in some ways, acting like a wife. I’d known that before, but my instant, gut reaction of looking to her...
December 26, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Shit!” I swore vehemently, and in English for effect, when I walked out onto the porch on Sunday morning. “Mikhail Petrovich!” Mom said sternly. I picked up the box on the front porch and turned to show her. “«Говно»!” she replied. I nodded, “Nice to know you agree with me.” The box was the one that held the two stuffed rabbits I’d bought for Jocelyn. The fact that she’d returned them spoke volumes, and short of putting up a tombstone, I wasn’t sure...
January 1, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio “It’s open, Mindy!” I called out. The door opened and she came into the room. “You were expecting me?” “I’d have been seriously disappointed in my ability to predict your behavior if you hadn’t shown up!” “A little too obvious?” “You might say that! May I give you a tip?” “I’d rather have the whole thing!” Mindy smirked. I laughed so hard I had to sit down on the bed so I wouldn’t fall over. It took me a full minute to recover enough to be able to...
March 26, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio Vespers with Tasha next to me was positively weird. I had no idea what she was thinking nor what she intended. But the MESSAGE she was sending was loud and clear to anyone who saw us, and was very specific for three people — Janey, declaring I was STILL Tasha’s property; Deacon Vasily, declaring she was still going to see me; and Mr. Orlov, stating that she didn’t care about his opinion. I could tell the message to Janey was clearly received when she looked...
April 16, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “So what had you nearly bursting at breakfast this morning?” “I’m no longer a virgin!” Clarissa exclaimed. “And Oh! My! God!” “That good, huh?” I grinned. “You have NO idea. Well, maybe you do because you’ve had sex!” “From a guy’s perspective, anyway.” “Can I ask you something?” “Sure.” “Do you like the taste?” I nodded, “Very much so.” “And do different girls taste differently?” “Yes, but it’s kind of subtle, though I notice. Did you kiss her...
April 23, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “Tasha demanded you not date me?” Janey asked. “Actually, she requested that if I date her, I not date anyone at either church because of the trouble it could cause with her father, the priests, and Vladyka ARKADY.” “Very neatly excluding me by appealing to your desire for peace.” “I know that’s how it looks, but honestly, I wasn’t seeing you at the time, and certainly didn’t believe you were going to show up here tonight to talk to me, or any other time for...
After they had the huts finished, the water supply taken care of and even finding they had plenty of food with the coconuts and the bananas, the fishing was good and Mr. Candleford even managed to trap a wild pig in a pit trap that worked perfectly. The only hard part was to get the carcass out and get it prepared for eating and then to smoke and keep the remaining meat safe for future use. In a sense, it was good that they were there on the island because the things would have started to...
January 15, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “No way!” Dale protested. “I’m serious, Dale. Ten Polaroids. She sent them to my parents’ house and my mom brought the envelope to me on Thursday.” “I don’t believe it. That’s not her. It’s not!” “They came from Purdue,” I said. “They were postmarked ‘West Lafayette, Indiana’ on Saturday.” “Shit. I called her on Saturday morning. I pushed her to admit you guys had been together. I’m sorry, Mike.” “It’s not your fault, Dale.” “But I think she did that in...
February 1, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “What the heck were you thinking?” Doctor Hart snapped. “That has to be about the dumbest thing you could possibly have done!” “Funny thing,” I said. “I agree with you.” “There is nothing funny about what you did! You’re lucky as hell that it turned out as well as it did!” “Again, funny thing, I agree with you.” “Cut it out, Mike!” “Sorry. I beat myself up enough about this that I’m not sure I need your help.” “So why tell me?” “I thought I was...
February 5, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio “This is heavenly,” Janey sighed. She was sitting in front of me, leaned back, with my arms around her, in a tub full of warm water and lavender bubble bath. “I could get really used to this,” I agreed. “When you finally get paid a decent amount, we’ll build a big house with a shower and tub like this.” “And a sauna,” I said. “Who has a sauna?” “Katy’s parents.” Janey laughed, “Did you?” “Just some fooling around but not that.” I ran my hands up...
February 15, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “How did it go?” Clarissa asked when I walked out of the interview room. “I owe you guys big time! My biographical sketch seemed well received, and the answers you all helped me prepare were perfect. Dean Parker walked right into Melody’s trap!” Melody laughed, “Of COURSE she did. She’s so predictable. Did she try to pry into your private life?” “She started to ask the question and Dean Foster cut her off before she could finish.” “Awesome!” The three...
February 20, 1983, McKinley, Ohio Clarissa and I lay together for about fifteen minutes before I heard voices and a soft knock on the bedroom door. “I think the posse is here,” I chuckled. “Bummer,” she sighed. I reluctantly released her, and we sat up on the bed, leaning back against the wall. “Come in!” I called out. Sandy opened the door and I could see the rest of the gang was with her. “Anything interesting going on in here?” she smirked. “Just the lesbian girl talking to her...
July 16, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “You’re not seeing Katy tonight?” Mom asked on Friday morning. “No. Her grandmother, who lives in Pittsburgh, fell and broke her hip. They were leaving this morning and won’t be back until sometime next week.” “We haven’t talked about you and Jocelyn since last Saturday.” “There isn’t much to say,” I said. “She and her parents are basically not talking. That’s why we’ve been hanging out here, at the pool, or at Grant Park.” And Jackson Lake, but I didn’t...