Good Medicine Sophomore YearChapter 26 Martyrdom
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January 2, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio
When I arrived at church on Sunday morning, I was pleased to see Deacon Vasily with Father Herman, saying their entry prayers. I stood quietly in the nave while one of the acolytes, a Junior in High School, lit the oil lamps and ensured everything was properly arranged in the altar. As I stood there, I wondered what would happen when Tasha arrived. Where she stood would speak volumes about what had happened the previous evening when they had missed church.
Just before Matins began, Tasha walked into the nave, and after reverencing the icons and lighting a candle, she came to stand next to me. She brushed her hand on mine, then took my hand and squeezed it, quickly releasing it lest one of the «бабушки» decide we were acting inappropriately. I so wanted to ask her what had happened, but even a whispered conversation would have attracted the wrong kind of attention.
Three maddening hours later, I finally had a chance to talk to her in the narthex.
“What happened?”
“Huge arguments and fights,” she said quietly. “Mom is convinced we’re telling the truth. Dad is convinced we aren’t. I even told him we made a promise to each other.”
I took a deep breath and let it out, “So?”
“Mom says Dad will come to his senses, and we should be patient.”
“Was it wise to stand next to me, then?”
“Mom said it was OK. She was afraid you would be very upset if I stood with her. And she KNEW how upset I would be!”
“But your dad...”
“There is nothing to do to change his mind, Mishka. He believes both Sasha and I are ‘fallen women’.”
“But it’s not true!” I protested.
“Not for me, anyway,” Tasha replied.
If what Tasha was saying was accurate, and Sasha HAD slept with the guy, I could see why Deacon Vasily wasn’t thinking straight. He’d be completely beside himself that his fifteen-year-old daughter had ‘fallen’. But I was offended that even in such an addled state that he would accuse Tasha.
“So can I sit with you at lunch?”
“Mom said we should sit with Mr. and Mrs. Orlov. She thinks that’s the safest situation right now.”
“You’re sure?”
“Let my mom handle my dad. She and I had a very good talk last night after Dad locked himself in his study.”
“OK. If you’re sure.”
“I am. Remember, Mr. and Mrs. Orlov are my godparents! That’s who I SHOULD go to when there are troubles with my parents.”
“True,” I replied.
I took her hand and we went to the church hall and sat down next to my grandparents and the Orlovs.
“To what do we owe the favor of your presence, Mikhail?” my grandfather asked.
“Matushka Alexandra suggested we sit here.”
Mrs. Orlova looked over to where Tasha’s parents were sitting with Sasha between them, and shook her head slowly. Somehow she knew exactly what was going on just from the fact that Sasha was sitting between her parents, rather than next to her mom. Usually, Tasha sat next to her dad, with me next to her. Sasha being flanked by her parents conveyed far more than I had expected it to.
“Is this causing you trouble, Natalya Vasilyevna?” Mrs. Orlova asked.
“It’s OK, Mrs. Orlova,” Tasha said. “Mike and I are fine.”
“I’ll speak to your mother in any event,” she said.
Tasha simply nodded. We ate our lunch and had a good talk with my grandparents and the Orlovs, and when we finished eating, Tasha got permission from Mrs. Orlova to walk with me to my car.
“Shouldn’t you have asked your mom?” I asked quietly when we were outside.
“Do you think my dad will challenge Mrs. Orlova?”
I chuckled, “Not if he values his life!”
“She’ll tell him we’re behaving properly.”
“How would she know?” I asked.
Tasha smiled, “I’ll tell you a secret, but you can NEVER reveal it to anyone, ever!”
“I promise.”
“She’s the one I talk to. About everything. I do mean everything. She knows.”
“You mean about the, uh, fondling?”
Tasha giggled, “Yes. She warned me I was playing with fire, and that if I wished to do that, I must convince you to have a betrothal ceremony. THEN we could do that!”
I shook my head, “I guess what my mom said about the «бабушки» is true.”
“Of course! Mrs. Orlova knows what I want to do! Unfortunately, she agrees with YOU!”
“I think after yesterday afternoon, that’s a good thing. We were able to tell your dad the truth without any kind of deception.”
“And you touching my breast?”
“Shall we go inside and tell him about that?” I asked.
“No! But wasn’t that deception?”
“No, because he was clearly asking if we’d made love, or done some of the other things that only married couples should do.”
Tasha giggled, “Someday, Mishka, you will kiss me there and I will kiss you there!”
“Tasha!” I protested.
“What?! Our marriage bed is ours and we may do anything we wish! I told you I want to do everything with you. I mean that, Mishka. Everything. But YOU make me wait!”
“At your request.”
“Yes,” she sighed. “And as you said, that’s a good thing. We might not be alive if we’d done any of that.”
“Will we able to go out?”
“Mom says yes. She thinks Dad will get over his conniption fit enough to see that I am still pure. And I think Mrs. Orlova will ensure that happens.”
“Should I call you each week, like before?”
“Yes, please. It’s OK to hug me and exchange a proper kiss. I want a good one, but Mom said that’s a bad idea right now.”
“No kidding!”
We exchanged a relatively chaste hug and kiss, then I got into my car. Tasha waved as I pulled out of the parking lot and headed for home to wait for Clark to arrive.
January 2, 1983, McKinley, Ohio
“How are you doing?” Clarissa asked when she came into my room on Sunday afternoon.
“OK. Did you have a good Christmas?”
“Yes. You? I mean other than what we talked about.”
“I did. We have a lot to talk about. Should we go buy our books?”
“Sure.”
We left the dorm and walked across campus to the bookstore, which was always open the Sunday before classes started. That had meant not having to buy our books before Christmas break, come back early, or having to go to class without books on Monday morning.
“So what happened?” Clarissa asked.
“It’s more what I discovered. I had some serious heart-to-heart talks with my friend Dale, my friend Janey, and my mom. And then there was the run-in with Tasha’s dad yesterday.”
“What happened?”
“Her sister snuck out of the house to see a guy on New Year’s Eve. Her father was NOT amused.”
Clarissa laughed, “Sorry for laughing, but if he’s anything like you described, that’s the understatement of the century!”
“Oh, it is. He flipped out, obviously. And he accused Tasha and me of ‘improper’ behavior.”
“Oh right, the ONE girl you’re seeing you WOULDN’T do that with!”
“You?” I teased.
“Oh, you would!” Clarissa laughed. “I seem to recall you saying ‘Damn, Clarissa!’ when I decided to show you the person hiding behind the baggy clothes and unbrushed hair!”
“Guilty as charged. I’m a dog! But you’re right about Tasha. She lost her cool and told her dad he should take her to the gynecologist for an exam or perhaps we should marry immediately so he could see blood on the sheets of the marriage bed!”
“You do know hymens break for other reasons, and that some girls don’t have them? And not every girl bleeds even if she has an intact hymen.”
“I know. Tasha was making a point! He’d never ask for that kind of proof. Well, at least I don’t think so. Anyway, that started a fight, but I was excused before the bell for the second round.”
“You can’t see her?”
“Our date last night was canceled, but her mom prevailed and I should be able to see her in the future. I won’t be going home for at least a month, and by then Deacon Vasily should calm down, and Tasha’s godmother will talk to him as well.”
“He actually came out and accused you have having sex?”
“Not in that few words, but yes. I’m pretty sure Tasha’s sister DID, and she told Tasha’s dad that we had. I can see why he’s suspicious.”
“That sounds like a very volatile situation.”
“No kidding.”
“So what did you discover?”
I smiled, “That I’ve been taking the wrong approach to a bunch of things.”
We walked into the bookstore and dropped the conversation for the time it took to walk around and pick out our books. We paid the outrageous prices, then left the bookstore to head back to the dorm.
“So?” Clarissa prompted.
“That in order to achieve my goals, I have to take care of me first, THEN school. It makes sense, really. If I’m not physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy, how can I ever hope to achieve my goals? I think I’ve hit on the reason so many doctors become alcoholics or become dependent on drugs. They forget they have to take care of themselves first.”
“Wow,” Clarissa said. “That’s a pretty stunning turnaround from just a few weeks ago.”
“It started before Christmas, but really it was Jocelyn returning my gift that pushed me to begin reevaluating things. That led to the conversations I had with Dale, Janey, and my mom.”
“I thought you couldn’t stand Janey!” Clarissa objected.
“It was me, not her,” I said. “Yes, she was aggressive and really annoyed me, but the problem was my attitude, not hers. She only got on my case as much as she did because I was behaving like an idiot.”
“So you guys resolved your issues?”
“Repeatedly,” I chuckled.
Clarissa laughed, “No way! You?”
“As I said, I was taking a totally wrong approach towards life, and that included thinking incorrectly about Sandy and Sophia.”
“I thought you and Sandy were talking about a relationship.”
“I was talking about a relationship, she wasn’t. But that was me thinking wrongly. I tried so hard to find a way to deny that Sandy and I were engaging in ‘casual sex’ that I think I invented something in my mind that doesn’t exist. Well, not the way I thought it did.”
“It sounds like you had a serious revelation. Or two or three.”
“I did.”
“So ‘casual sex’ is OK? With anyone?”
“Is that an offer?” I smirked.
“You’d need hormone therapy and an operation first!” Clarissa laughed. “Do that and I’m all yours!”
“No thanks! And no, not just anyone. But it sure as heck clarified things.”
“You certainly seem as if you’re in a really good mood. I half-expected you to be totally down in the dumps, and given what happened with Tasha, I’d expect you to be really upset. This is an all-new Mike.”
“I hope you like him,” I said. “Because I think he’s here to stay.”
“It’ll be interesting to see the reactions of the other members of the gang! So does this mean Melody is back in the picture?”
I shook my head, “No. She’ll be happy about the change, but her worldview and mine don’t align closely enough.”
“The Orthodox Church?”
“That’s a shorthand for it, yes, but it’s not the complete answer.”
“If Angie would just wake up, she could walk off with the grand prize!”
“The longer this goes, the less chance I think there is of that ever happening. There’s a better chance that YOU would sleep with me!”
Clarissa laughed, “So since that chance is ZERO, Angie is in negative numbers?”
“Pretty much. That’s why I put it that way.”
“I do like the happy-go-lucky Mike I’m seeing.”
“Says the woman who is just as serious as I was, if not more.”
“I think you can help me, Mike. I WANT to be like that, but you know why I’m not.”
“Because of a couple of guys who behaved like «мудаки»! And because of how society views lesbians.”
“Sorry, I didn’t bring my universal translator!”
“A-holes,” I said.
“That pretty much nails it.”
“I’ll do my best to help you, but at some point you’re going to have to come out. I don’t see any way for you to be happy until you do.”
Clarissa took a deep breath and let it out, “I know. But I’m not ready yet.”
“I’ll do my best to help you in any way I can.”
“Thanks.”
When we got back to the dorm, Clarissa took her books to her room then came back to my room. A few minutes later, Angie came in. We exchanged a quick hug and before we sat down, Robby, Lee, and Sophia came in. Sandy followed them a few minutes later.
“The gang’s all here!” Sophia declared. “How was everyone’s Christmas?”
Everyone answered in a positive way, and I asked about the skiing trip.
“It was a lot of fun,” Robby said. “You absolutely have to join us next year.”
“Like I said, ask me in the Fall and we’ll make plans.”
“Anyone do anything exciting over break besides us?” Lee asked.
Everyone else shook their heads. We chatted about our break, and it was clear that mine was probably the most exciting, though I couldn’t actually talk about the VERY exciting New Year’s Eve I’d had.
After dinner, Robby brought a bottle of rum to our room and we drank, listened to music, and talked until it was time for Angie and me to do our prayers. After prayers, I walked her to her room and got a hug and a kiss half on the lips, then went back to my room where Sandy was waiting. I got my kit and went to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth and used the toilet, then returned. We went into my bedroom and I shut the door.
“We should talk,” I said as Sandy started to undress.
“Shit,” she sighed. “You asked Tasha to go steady with you?”
“No! You jumped to the wrong conclusion!”
“What the heck am I supposed to think when a guy says ‘we need to talk’? That usually only means one thing!”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “That was a poor choice of words on my part. Come sit with me on the bed, please.”
We climbed onto the bed and scooted back to lean against throw pillows which were propped along the wall.
“So?” she asked.
“I need to apologize for what I said to you back in December. About our situation.”
“Apologize? For what?!”
“My confusion came from the fact that I was trying to justify what I was doing to NOT call it ‘casual sex’. I had to invent a relationship in my head which didn’t really exist, so I wouldn’t feel bad about what we were doing.”
Sandy laughed softly and nodded, “That would be you, wouldn’t it? In your mind, you could never just fuck.”
“I think I came to the conclusion that under the right circumstances I can, and I don’t need to try to fool myself anymore.”
“Well THAT’S a relief! I was afraid you were either going to break up with me or ask me to go steady!”
“Actually, had I not had the revelations I had over break, I probably WOULD have picked one of those two options and totally messed things up between us.”
“What happened?”
“A bunch of stuff, but the lowlights were Jocelyn returning my gift and Tasha’s dad accusing me of sleeping with her.”
“Oh give me a break!” Sandy said. “You might fuck me silly for ‘stress relief’ and have ‘comfort fucks’ with Sophia, but there is NO WAY you would sleep with Tasha before you got engaged, if even then!”
“It appears everyone on the planet is aware of that except Tasha’s dad.”
“How did that happen?”
“Her little sister snuck out of the house on New Year’s Eve to see a boy.”
“Oops,” Sandy laughed.
“And when she got caught, she tried to save her own skin by saying Tasha and I had sex when she was here.”
“Bullshit! We all know that didn’t happen!”
“Obviously. But Sasha was trying to find a way out of the serious trouble she’s in. It was a bad move, obviously.”
“Is everything OK?”
“Things are a bit tense, but Tasha’s mom and her godmother are both on our side. They’ll sort things out.”
“What happened with Jocelyn?”
“I dropped the stuffed animals at her house before she got home from Purdue, the way I planned. I wanted to avoid a confrontation. Her mom put the gift under the tree. On the morning of the 26th, I found the opened box on the porch at my house. No note. No nothing.”
“That’s cold,” Sandy said. “Did you see her at all?”
“No. My friend Dale, who’s also her friend, talked to her, but she refused to discuss anything about me with him.”
“You don’t seem as down as I would have expected.”
“The other stuff I discovered helped.”
“So I can safely count on you fucking my brains out for the next couple of years so I don’t get too stressed out?”
“Barring any unforeseen events, it’s reasonable to expect we’ll keep doing it, yes.”
“Good. Then what the hell are we doing sitting here with our clothes on when we could be fucking?”
“Good question!” I replied.
January 3, 1983, McKinley, Ohio
“That was just what I needed,” Sandy said after we’d screwed like crazed bunnies after we woke on Monday morning.
February 15, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “How did it go?” Clarissa asked when I walked out of the interview room. “I owe you guys big time! My biographical sketch seemed well received, and the answers you all helped me prepare were perfect. Dean Parker walked right into Melody’s trap!” Melody laughed, “Of COURSE she did. She’s so predictable. Did she try to pry into your private life?” “She started to ask the question and Dean Foster cut her off before she could finish.” “Awesome!” The three...
February 5, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio “I owe you an apology for earlier. Not for what I said, but how I said it.” “And I owe you one for interfering in something I shouldn’t have.” “I’m going to need to talk to Dad, too,” I said. “But again, only for walking away, not for objecting to his classification of April as not being a ‘nice’ girl.” “I thought for a moment you were going to say, ‘make Mom’ instead of ‘make me’.” “For a moment, I was. But at that split second good sense overcame my...
May 9, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “Is something wrong?” Kristin asked on Monday morning. “What do you mean?” “It just felt as if you were somewhere else last night when we were fooling around.” I had been, because once my sleep deprivation was past, I had basically obsessed on the bishop’s comment about ‘choosing’ and the myriad of possibilities I had to choose from, AND the potential problems each of them might create. What he had said about serving at the cathedral and in other parishes only...
June 12, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “What’s going on between you and Jocelyn?” Mom asked when I returned upstairs after talking to Dad. “I thought that was obvious,” I smirked. “Or did you want details?” “Pass,” Mom laughed. “But seriously, Mike, what’s going on?” “We love each other. We had a long, long talk about everything and this is what we want to do. We’re not going to marry; we both understand that. And I’m not going steady with Melody.” “Do you love Melody?” I shrugged, “I have no...
January 29, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “These cookies are excellent!” I took another bite and washed it down with a bit of hot cocoa. “Believe it not, it’s just the ‘Toll House’ recipe!” Kristin said. “I’m glad you like them.” “You liked my songs?” “Oh man, those love songs made me shiver! You must have really loved her.” “I did, and I still do, but it doesn’t really matter now.” “I guess not,” she said quietly. “Why pick me to sing to?” “I saw a pretty girl who didn’t have a guy with her,”...
September 19, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “Mishka!” Tasha gushed when I called her on Sunday afternoon. “How are you?” “Good. How are things in West Monroe?” “You know nothing changes here. Church is the same. School is the same. Home is the same. And you?” “School is about the same as last year, but I’ve made some new friends.” “I want to meet them! Do you think Sasha and I could visit in two weeks?” “If your mom and dad approve, yes.” “They will, so long as I bring Sasha. She promised not...
January 13, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “Mike?” I heard from behind me. I was sitting on a bench under a tree while snow fell around me. I wasn’t wearing a hat or coat or gloves because I hadn’t put them on when I’d walked from my room. I’d wandered around for a bit, then sat down on a bench near the edge of campus. “Mike?” the voice repeated, but I didn’t respond. I was still reeling from the pictures Jocelyn had sent me. It wasn’t that she was having sex, apparently, with a bunch of different...
June 6, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Jos,” I sighed. “It’s not that simple.” “Isn’t it?” “Come on! You know that would end things between Melody and me!” “I believe Melody has been good for you, but is she THE ONE? Wait! Don’t answer. If she was, you wouldn’t be dating Tasha and Katy, and you wouldn’t still be carrying a torch for Angie.” “Angie is just a friend,” I protested. Jocelyn smiled, “I’ll take that wager anytime you want to make it. You can answer my first question now.” I...
August 20, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “Mike Loucks,” I said to the young woman at the desk in the brand-new Rickenbacker dorm. She flipped through the manila envelopes and pulled out the one with my name on it. “Your room key, a sticker for your ID to update it for this year, a new student handbook, and your parking sticker,” she said. “Parking sticker?” “The lots are all numbered now, and you can only park in the lot you’re assigned to. Yours should be next to this dorm.” “What about...
September 14, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “How did your parents fight?” Doctor Hart asked. “They didn’t,” I replied. “Whenever my dad disagreed with my mom, he went to his workshop in the basement.” Doctor Hart smiled, “OK, perhaps I should have phrased that better. How did they resolve conflicts?” “Just as I described.” “And after he hid in his workshop?” “He basically stayed there until he accepted that my mom was right, then went to make up. Do NOT ask me how!” Doctor Hart laughed, “The...
March 25, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio “I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to talk to you earlier,” I said to Mom when I arrived home. “I understand. You’re home a bit early.” “There really wasn’t anything playing at the movies we wanted to see. We’re going to have breakfast tomorrow and spend the day together. We’ll be at Vespers, though to prevent any explosions I’ll drop her at home so she can come to church with her family.” “I talked to your grandfather on her behalf,” Mom said. “I think...
October 16, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “I had the weirdest experience today.” “Oh?” Mom asked with an arched eyebrow. “I stopped in to see April. She was nursing Chastity. Later, April let me hold her. I was just blown away by the whole experience.” “Babies change your life in many, many ways.” I nodded, “It was like scales fell from my eyes. You know, things I knew intellectually but didn’t really understand.” “Care to share?” “Let’s just say my views on female anatomy changed a...
January 1, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio “Good afternoon, Father Deacon,” I said. “Good afternoon, Mikhail Petrovich. Sit down, please.” Tasha and I exchanged a look and we sat down on the settee, but with about a foot of empty cushion between us. “I would like the truth, Mikhail Petrovich. Have you and Tasha been behaving inappropriately?” That was a good question to which ONE answer was ‘yes’, but another answer was ‘no’. I was reasonably certain he was asking the second question, not the...
April 3, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “Hi, Mike!” “Hi, Mrs. Landers.” “Come on in. Nancy is putting the finishing touches on dinner.” I hadn’t said anything to Nancy about my fasting rule because I didn’t want to create any issues with their Easter dinner. “Thanks!” “Your Easter isn’t for another month, right?” she asked. “May 8th, though our service starts about 10:30pm the night before.” “We went to midnight mass when I was little, but Nancy and I prefer the first morning mass at 5:30am....
July 23, 1982, Circleville, Ohio “I’m sorry I missed our date late Friday,” Katy said after greeting me with a kiss and letting me into the house. “That’s the fourth time you’ve apologized! I accepted your apology when you called to tell me, and for that, you don’t have to apologize! How is your grandmother?” “No change since we spoke on Wednesday. Mom is still there, so it’s just Dad and me. He’s out with his friends tonight, so we have the run of the house. I figured we’d cook, eat, use...
January 25, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “You won’t believe what happened on Sunday,” Dale laughed. “What?” “You know Pam’s roommate? The hot cheerleader chick?” “The one you’ve been drooling over since day one?” “Yeah, but I think I have to reconsider. Liking her appears to be VERY dangerous!” “What happened?” “Remember how I said she was dating a guy, even though she was hung up on a guy from Chicago?” “Sure.” “I found out Pam dated him at one point, too! The guy is a legend! Anyway, he...
July 25, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Hi, Angie, it’s Mike,” I said when she answered the phone on Sunday afternoon. “Mike? We just talked during the week! What’s up? Is there a problem with me coming to visit in two weeks?” “No, not at all. I wanted to talk to you about the problems I’m having with Jocelyn.” “Uh-oh. Did something bad happen?” “You could say that,” I sighed. “Do you have time to talk? This won’t be a short conversation.” “For you? Of course!” I explained, as best I could,...
February 7, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “Hi!” Kristin gushed when I went to her room just after lunch. “Come in!” I walked into her room and she offered hot cocoa, which I accepted. We sat down on the couch. “Sorry I ran out of cookies. Mom will send more in another week or so.” “I’ll need to run an additional lap every morning to make up for the extra calories!” “I go to a dance class three days a week to keep in shape. I heard you’re into karate.” “Yes, I go three times a week as...
June 25, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea or not,” I replied. “Why?” Becky asked. “We’ve done it before. I don’t have a steady boyfriend. And you said you don’t have a steady girlfriend.” “That’s true. May I ask a very blunt question?” “Sure.” “Are YOU looking to be my girlfriend?” Becky shook her head slowly, “Remember what I said back in October? That I had no illusions about this and that I had no designs on you? But that if I had the ability to make a wish...
August 28, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Duh!” she laughed softly. “I’m in your bed! What do you think?” “I think you need to go back to my sister’s room before she or my parents find out and kill both of us!” “Come on, Mike! I want to do it with you! Don’t you want to do it with me?!” She was cute and had a great body, but the LAST thing I needed was ANY kind of relationship with Mindy, even one where I only did what I’d joked with my mom about doing — banging her like a drum! “Just go,...
September 12, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “Hi, Jos,” I said when her roommate called her to the phone. “Hi. How are things?” ‘Shitty!’ I wanted to say, and not in Russian. I also wanted to tell her I missed her and wanted to see her, but saying that might only make things worse. At this point, though, I wondered what ‘worse’ might be. “OK. How are you doing?” “I’m getting used to the routine and how different things are here from West Monroe.” Her answer was flat, and she sounded...
October 8, 1982, Circleville, Ohio “I want to, yes, of course; but we reset things for good reasons. Why the change?” Katy got up from the couch and sat back down in my lap, draping her arms over my shoulders. “I wanted to from the minute I saw you naked. I’ve dreamed about what it would be like.” “I felt the same way when I saw you naked,” I said. “Well, even before, when you first let me touch you. But I can’t promise you anything right now, Katy.” She sighed deeply, then moved her...
October 16, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio After my talk with Mom, I went to find Liz, and invited her to sit on the floor of my room to talk. We sat side-by-side, leaning against the bed. “Why in here and not in the basement?” I felt it was my duty to warn Liz, as my sister, of the way voices carried through the heating ducts. Mom had told me, in confidence, but I couldn’t in good conscience keep that vital piece of information from Liz. “Because voices carry through the heating ducts,” I...
November 13, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “So, what do you want to do tonight?” Nancy laughed, “As if you have to ask!” “I mean BESIDES that!” “How about we grab some dinner and then see The Man from Snowy River. It’s an Australian film and it’s had excellent reviews. Then we can come back here.” “Dinner and a movie, sure. The other thing? Let’s not move so fast, OK?” “We’ve done it before...” “Yes, we have. Remember that I gave you a choice? I think you immediately figured out what the choice...
November 29, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “Now that you’ve had a night to sleep on it, what do you think?” Sandy asked, snuggling close. “Isn’t that what I’m supposed to ask you?” “Probably, but I thought you might have changed your mind or had more of an idea what you meant.” “I asked my mom if there was anything wrong with marrying a friend.” “Me?! Have you lost your mind?” “A long time ago!” I chuckled. “Probably about the time the heavy doses of testosterone started coursing through my body...
March 8, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio “You don’t look happy, Mike,” Mom said when I greeted her after arriving home. “Tasha and I had a serious disagreement.” “Uh-oh. Because of her dad?” I shook my head, “No, it’s way more complicated. We can talk after dinner if that’s OK.” “Sure. Your sister and her friends are up in her room.” “The tradition I started?” I grinned. “Exactly. You had Jocelyn and Dale at every birthday celebration from the time you were in second grade. And before that,...
December 18, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Don’t you want to give this to Jocelyn directly?” Mrs. Mills asked. “Want to? Sure. But she made it clear she doesn’t want to see me. I’m half-expecting her to return the gift unopened.” “Not if I have anything to say about it!” she replied firmly. “Please don’t force the issue,” I pleaded. “Whatever is wrong with Jocelyn isn’t going to change because you pressure her. In fact, that might actually make things worse. “I’m not sure they could be worse...
December 27, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “I’m tempted, but not tonight. I’m not saying never, but not tonight.” Janey frowned, “Nothing I can do to change your mind?” “Remember what I said about slow but sure.” “Can I see you again before you go back to Taft?” “Maybe Friday?” “Sure.” “We’ll talk at work. You work every day, right?” “Yes. How about another kiss?” I smiled and pulled her closer again and we exchanged another soft French kiss. “Good night,” I said when we broke the kiss a...
February 4, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio “Emmy?! What are you doing here?” “She came to talk to me,” Liz said quietly, from behind me. “OK. Is there anything I can help with?” “No.” “You know, if her dad finds her here...” “I know. Just go upstairs, OK? I’ll come talk to you later.” I nodded and went upstairs. The door to my parents’ bedroom was closed, and I didn’t see any light leaking from under the door, which meant they were most likely asleep. I stopped in the bathroom to brush my...
October 26, 1982, McKinley, Ohio When we returned from biology lab on Tuesday morning, a large group was milling around the entrance to the dorms. I saw Melody and walked over to ask her what the issue was. “The police busted Jeremy for pot,” she said. “Nobody can go into the dorm right now.” “What? For one or two joints? I thought they decriminalized pot.” Melody laughed, “One or two joints? You’re joking, right? He’s the main supplier in our dorm! How did you not know that?” “Because I...
January 21, 1983, McKinley, Ohio I still hadn’t decided on the answer to Clarissa’s final question when Angie and I went to run on Friday morning. One thing I was reasonably sure of was that saying ‘no’ would likely be equivalent to saying, ‘not yet’. Milena and her friends didn’t seem likely to withdraw the offer anytime soon, though they would all complete their Master’s or undergrad degrees in May. But that wasn’t the thing which was in the front of my mind. What was foremost was what...
January 21, 1983, McKinley, Ohio Light snow was falling as Angie and I left Doctor Blahnik’s house to walk back to the dorm. “That was fun,” Angie said. “Sorry about the minor indiscretion.” “It’s OK, Mike. Why would she assume otherwise? She knows we run together, pray together, and go to church together. Why do you think everyone calls me ‘Mrs. Loucks’?” “But still...” “She’s just very open and a lot of fun. I wish more professors were like her, even if she made me turn purple!” “I...
September 16, 1982, McKinley, Ohio Sandy hadn’t moved, but the feeling of her leaning against me changed with her question. My first thought was Angie, and I lifted my eyes to hers, and found a bemused look on her face. I realized, at that moment, that the dorm opinion of her being ‘Mrs. Loucks’ wasn’t all that far-fetched. In some ways, I was treating her that way, and she certainly was, in some ways, acting like a wife. I’d known that before, but my instant, gut reaction of looking to her...
December 26, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Shit!” I swore vehemently, and in English for effect, when I walked out onto the porch on Sunday morning. “Mikhail Petrovich!” Mom said sternly. I picked up the box on the front porch and turned to show her. “«Говно»!” she replied. I nodded, “Nice to know you agree with me.” The box was the one that held the two stuffed rabbits I’d bought for Jocelyn. The fact that she’d returned them spoke volumes, and short of putting up a tombstone, I wasn’t sure...
January 1, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio “It’s open, Mindy!” I called out. The door opened and she came into the room. “You were expecting me?” “I’d have been seriously disappointed in my ability to predict your behavior if you hadn’t shown up!” “A little too obvious?” “You might say that! May I give you a tip?” “I’d rather have the whole thing!” Mindy smirked. I laughed so hard I had to sit down on the bed so I wouldn’t fall over. It took me a full minute to recover enough to be able to...
March 26, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio Vespers with Tasha next to me was positively weird. I had no idea what she was thinking nor what she intended. But the MESSAGE she was sending was loud and clear to anyone who saw us, and was very specific for three people — Janey, declaring I was STILL Tasha’s property; Deacon Vasily, declaring she was still going to see me; and Mr. Orlov, stating that she didn’t care about his opinion. I could tell the message to Janey was clearly received when she looked...
April 16, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “So what had you nearly bursting at breakfast this morning?” “I’m no longer a virgin!” Clarissa exclaimed. “And Oh! My! God!” “That good, huh?” I grinned. “You have NO idea. Well, maybe you do because you’ve had sex!” “From a guy’s perspective, anyway.” “Can I ask you something?” “Sure.” “Do you like the taste?” I nodded, “Very much so.” “And do different girls taste differently?” “Yes, but it’s kind of subtle, though I notice. Did you kiss her...
April 23, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “Tasha demanded you not date me?” Janey asked. “Actually, she requested that if I date her, I not date anyone at either church because of the trouble it could cause with her father, the priests, and Vladyka ARKADY.” “Very neatly excluding me by appealing to your desire for peace.” “I know that’s how it looks, but honestly, I wasn’t seeing you at the time, and certainly didn’t believe you were going to show up here tonight to talk to me, or any other time for...
Palm Sunday, May 1, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “Where are your palm branches?” Clarissa asked when I returned home from church. “Just how many palm trees do YOU think grew around Moscow and Saint Petersburg?” “Probably not too many.” “Which is why I have pussy willows in my hand!” “It’s Palm Sunday and you’ve already been to church Friday night, Saturday morning and night, and this morning.” “It’s only just begun,” I chuckled. “Tonight is the first Bridegroom Matins.” “If I wanted to see the...
August 23, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “Well, here we go again!” Jason said as he, Clarissa, Sandy, and I plopped into front row seats in the O-Chem classroom.” “Look at it this way,” Sandy laughed. “You’re about one sixth of the way done. We doctors are about one eighth, not counting the Summers we have to work for no pay and our intern year when we get a small stipend! By then you’ll be earning major bucks developing bioweapons for the CIA!” “I’m actually thinking of doing a PhD at some point,...
January 15, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “No way!” Dale protested. “I’m serious, Dale. Ten Polaroids. She sent them to my parents’ house and my mom brought the envelope to me on Thursday.” “I don’t believe it. That’s not her. It’s not!” “They came from Purdue,” I said. “They were postmarked ‘West Lafayette, Indiana’ on Saturday.” “Shit. I called her on Saturday morning. I pushed her to admit you guys had been together. I’m sorry, Mike.” “It’s not your fault, Dale.” “But I think she did that in...
February 1, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “What the heck were you thinking?” Doctor Hart snapped. “That has to be about the dumbest thing you could possibly have done!” “Funny thing,” I said. “I agree with you.” “There is nothing funny about what you did! You’re lucky as hell that it turned out as well as it did!” “Again, funny thing, I agree with you.” “Cut it out, Mike!” “Sorry. I beat myself up enough about this that I’m not sure I need your help.” “So why tell me?” “I thought I was...
February 5, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio “This is heavenly,” Janey sighed. She was sitting in front of me, leaned back, with my arms around her, in a tub full of warm water and lavender bubble bath. “I could get really used to this,” I agreed. “When you finally get paid a decent amount, we’ll build a big house with a shower and tub like this.” “And a sauna,” I said. “Who has a sauna?” “Katy’s parents.” Janey laughed, “Did you?” “Just some fooling around but not that.” I ran my hands up...
February 20, 1983, McKinley, Ohio Clarissa and I lay together for about fifteen minutes before I heard voices and a soft knock on the bedroom door. “I think the posse is here,” I chuckled. “Bummer,” she sighed. I reluctantly released her, and we sat up on the bed, leaning back against the wall. “Come in!” I called out. Sandy opened the door and I could see the rest of the gang was with her. “Anything interesting going on in here?” she smirked. “Just the lesbian girl talking to her...
March 28, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio As I drove home, I considered my conversation with Tasha, and realized it was, in its own way, very close in character to conversations I’d had with Clarissa — intimate, honest, and designed to build a relationship. That, as much as anything else, confirmed that her conditions were not only wise, but the correct course of action. In one sense, it really only excluded Janey, but I felt my conversation, or rather, attempted conversation, with her had closed...
July 16, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “You’re not seeing Katy tonight?” Mom asked on Friday morning. “No. Her grandmother, who lives in Pittsburgh, fell and broke her hip. They were leaving this morning and won’t be back until sometime next week.” “We haven’t talked about you and Jocelyn since last Saturday.” “There isn’t much to say,” I said. “She and her parents are basically not talking. That’s why we’ve been hanging out here, at the pool, or at Grant Park.” And Jackson Lake, but I didn’t...
August 18, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “And you’ll come home and see me, Mishka?” “Of course, Tasha!” I replied. “On breaks for sure, and I promise to try to come home at least one weekend a month, though I can’t guarantee it.” “Dad said I’m allowed to come see you, but I have to bring Sasha with me and Sasha has to be with us the entire time!” I chuckled, “I don’t think he trusts you to be in my dorm room!” “I think you’re right!” she giggled. “He’s afraid we will make passionate love...
October 31, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “What are you doing here?” I asked. “And please tell me you just arrived!” “Mom and Dad were away for the weekend,” Emmy replied with a smirk, “so I came to visit! And I got here last night!” “Please tell me you didn’t...” “All night! Wow!” “Your dad will kill ALL of us if he finds out!” “I’m not going to tell him! Are you?” “No, of course not! But seriously, Emmy, this was super dangerous!” “And super fun!” “Where’s Clark?” “He went to the...
March 12, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “Cheating on me? Really?” “I know it sounds strange, but I know how much you and I love each other, and how close and intimate we are, even if we don’t kiss and touch and stuff. It’s really weird. I WANT to be with Glenda, you know, that way, but that doesn’t change the feeling.” “That way?” I grinned. “I know you aren’t clueless, Petrovich! You do the same things!” “I know. I’m teasing you, Lissa! Is this feeling going to be a problem?” “I don’t think so....
March 27, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio “I told Mom I’d make you dinner tonight,” I said to Liz when I arrived home. “How does penne pasta with arrabbiata sauce and a salad grab you?” “That sounds good! I could invite Mindy and Maggie?” “It’s up to you,” I replied flatly. “I have enough ingredients and there’s plenty of penne in the cabinet.” “Is something bugging you?” “Not bugging me, per se, just making me think. I had a long talk with Tasha and the last thing she said was very, very...
April 9, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “I still don’t like the way Clarissa interfered last night,” Kristin said on Saturday morning after we made love. “You know how important church is to me, right?” “Sure, but she didn’t have to be a bitch about it!” I took a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t see it that way. She was simply trying to point out something which is true. When Holy Week rolls around, I’ll be in church every evening from the Friday before Palm Sunday until the following...
August 1, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio Soft laughter reached my ear from Cincinnati via the magic of the Bell Telephone Network. “That is just TOO funny!” Angie declared. “Funny? Why do you find it funny?” “College boy breaks up with girlfriend and has serious falling out with his best friend. Swears newfound celibacy and is almost instantly propositioned by two High School girls who are ‘off limits’ because he decided High School girls are too immature, despite dating two other High School...
September 9, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “White boy! Phone for you!” Clark called out on Thursday evening while I was with the study group. I got up and went to our room to pick up the phone. “Hello?” “Hi, Mikey,” Liz replied. “I just called to say, ‘thank you’.” “For what?” “Making Mindy come back to my room.” I chuckled, “Do you know how difficult it was to kick a hot, naked fox out of my bed? And then, after she turned on the lights so I could see her body, kick her out of my room?” Liz...
October 2, 1982, McKinley, Ohio “Mishka!” Tasha squealed. She flew across the lobby to where I’d just stepped off the elevator and threw her arms around me. I hugged her, and then she kissed me, turning a soft kiss into a fierce French kiss, pressing her body against mine. It was a good minute before she broke the kiss and released me. “Hi, Mike!” Sasha laughed. “Hi, Sasha.” Her eyes twinkled, and she gave me a very nice hug. “I don’t think Tasha would like me kissing you the way she...
November 20, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “No bacon or eggs? Seriously?” April asked on Saturday morning. “The general rule for fasting is no animal products of any kind.” “But you didn’t do that when we were dating?” “Because I wasn’t interested in debating it with you,” I replied. “That was probably a mistake on my part.” “So now what?” “I’ll eat what you’re making,” I said. “It falls under the ‘hospitality’ rule which says you should eat what you’re served. I’ll eat waffles, eggs, and...
December 31, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio “Why don’t you come inside for a bit?” Janey said. “Just hang out, OK?” I smirked,” Will you walk into my parlour?’ said the Spider to the Fly, ‘Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy; The way into my parlour is up a winding stair, And I’ve a many curious things to show when you are there. “ “So, like Hotel California? You can check out any time you like but you can never leave?” I chuckled, “That’s probably not QUITE as culturally...
January 30, 1983, McKinley, Ohio “Well isn’t THIS a fine mess,” I sighed. “I didn’t mean to depress you,” Clarissa said. “I was trying to make a point.” “Besides the fact that we’re in love, soulmates, and you’re a lesbian, which kind of makes it all moot?” “Oh, it most definitely does NOT! For someone who has been with at least half-a-dozen girls by my count, you sure have this really stupid mindset about sex! If it was so damned meaningful, you wouldn’t be so free with it! Get your head...
March 9, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio If Tasha hadn’t already been upset by Clarissa, Robby, and Lee, her face showed she was beyond livid with me now. The kiss Janey and I had exchanged wasn’t just a peck on the lips, but the kiss of a boyfriend and girlfriend, if not lovers. And Tasha had seen it. She knew I dated, but she didn’t know I was involved with Janey to that degree. And given the spat Tasha and I’d had the previous night, I could imagine all the evil thoughts going through her...