Paradise remembered
- 4 years ago
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Love Hub! Pornography is one of the most amazing things in the world because it helps us satisfy a constant, primal urge to stimulate our cocks and blast buckets of jizz all over the goddamn place. Sometimes, though, those HD lesbian movies just aren’t enough to make that old, crusty gym sock look appealing anymore. When that happens, it may be time to consider hiring an escort, like one of the broads you’d find on LoveHub.
LoveHub.com was registered back in 2014, but the site took off in late 2019. It took off in a big fucking way, too, and already gets at least a quarter-million visits a month. High traffic numbers are pretty goddamn vital for any escort site. Hopefully, a good portion of those visitors are professional sluts offering their services for sale around the world. I guess I better get in there and take a look around.
Hire a Whore Around the Whole World
I mentioned LoveHub offering up prostitute listings around the world, but there are some caveats to that. While they do have a bunch of listings in the Middle East, you ain’t going to find any in some type of Taliban-infested shithole where they cut off your dick for looking at porno. Obviously, you can’t find hooker listings in corners of the globe where there ain’t any hookers.
There is, however, a huge and glaring hole that a lot of you readers are going to notice immediately. In fact, I bet a bunch of you are going to stop reading this review as soon as you read this next sentence: there are no American escort listings on this website. Yeah, it looks like you Yankees are going to have to find another escort site. Good thing you’re reading this on The Porn Dude!
Other than that, the listings look like they run pretty deep all over the place. The top of the landing page lists Most Popular Locations like Abu Dhabi, Hong Kong, London, Paris, and Singapore. Bang a hooker in Istanbul or pay an escort to smack your balls around in Bahrain.
The rest of the page breaks down the world by continent. North America only has a few listings up north, but they’ve got Mexican listings under Latin America. A surprising number of places are listed in the Middle East, like Riyadh and Kuwait. Hopefully, they’re not secret ISIS honey traps.
Europeans are well-represented at LoveHub, with dozens of cities listed across the continent. They’ve also got a shit ton in Asia, obviously, and a handful in Africa if you find yourself with a serious case of jungle fever. Incidentally, you may want to get vaccinated against dengue fever if you’re going to go bang sluts in some of these countries.
Find a Verified Hooker Tonight
Further down the front page, they show the newest escort listings on the site. I like what I see here, because there is a constant stream of professionals around the world putting listings on the site every day.
Again, I’m surprised by how many Middle Eastern babes are selling their services at LoveHub. This is clearly the place to pay for some strange if you’re in Doha, where a couple of different agencies just posted photos and profiles/listings for some really hot chicks. There’ve also been recent additions this morning from Tel Aviv, Bahrain, Kuwait, and Muscat. There’s even a German dominatrix in Dubai ready to trample you with her huge boots on.
In each city view, babes are listed with thumbnails in the first part of their sexy bio blurb. They’ve got a bunch of search filters at the top of the page, letting you sort the local sluts by rates, nationality, language, and age. They don’t have search filters for specific services, so you’ll have to dig deeper into the listings if you want something really kinky like a fat girl who tells you that you have a small peepee.
The listings look really fucking nice on the site. I was going to tell you more about the escort acronym dictionary in the lower portion of the front page, but I’m totally distracted by all the photos. Each listing has a bunch of photographs of some seriously prime meat. On some escort sites, most of the faces are hidden, but the beautiful ladies on the front page are proudly smiling and showing their fuck-me faces. Likewise, there seems to be no rule against titty shots.
A lot of these chicks look like models, with perfect bodies and professional photography. They look so fucking hot that I’m a bit skeptical. LoveHub seems to anticipate this, and like other escort sites, they do what they can to verify the authenticity. Profiles are listed as verified and unverified at the very top, but ultimately it’s up to you to make sure you don’t get ripped off.
The verification system seems decent, though. I was worried they just charged users a fee to “prove” they exist, so I dug into the FAQ to see what the actual procedure was. Escorts have to send a photograph of themselves holding a piece of paper with the current date and the words “I love Mike”. Now you’ll be forced to wonder about this Mike character every time you pay for the GFE.
No Registration Required for Slut Digits
I had to sign up for an account to read the FAQ, but fortunately, LoveHub doesn’t demand their general users sign up for an account. You’ll need one if you’re an escort hocking your wares, or if you’d like to leave helpful reviews for your fellow Johns. On the other hand, a lot of you are going to like the no-registration scheme here, because it means less of a paper trail for your wife to find after you’ve blown your whole bank account on Asian blowjobs.
Contact information is listed on each profile, without any need to login to unlock anything. That means all you have to do is find a girl and hit her up on WhatsApp, send her a text, or maybe shoot her an email letting you know you want to shoot sperm on her pretty face.
Sometimes prices and services are listed, but that seems to depend largely on the location. That means some of these broads will get lost in the shuffle if you’re sorting your search results by price range. When in doubt, you should try to work these things out with your professional slut before you even meet up.
Speaking of, I did notice that LoveHub doesn’t provide much information about the ins and outs of actually hiring an escort. This could be a way of covering their ass, or could just be laziness on their part. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say it’s probably because they’re new. You see the section on a lot of escort sites, and while not entirely necessary, they are helpful to newbies to the world of paid sex. If that’s you, you’ll have to ask Google or check out one of the other escort sites on my list.
Get your BBW to give you a BBBJ or AWO
They may not provide a ton of specific hooker-banging tips, but there is an extensive dictionary of escort acronyms and slang words at the bottom of the front page. Even if you’ve been hammering away at lot lizards for the past few decades, some of these will be new to you.
Make sure to ask your ASP (Adult Service Provider) if She Does AWO, or Anal Sex WithOut protection. If you want to pay to stick your cock in a woman’s mouth, you should find out if she does BBBJs (BareBack BlowJobs), also called Untranslated French. There’s also BBBJTC, giving head without protection to completion, and BBBJTCIM, which is the same, but you get to pop in her mouth. BBBJWF goes on her face, and a glorious BBBJTCNQNS will have her sucking to completion, no quit, no spit.
LoveHub has a great look, and they really have a rich selection of escorts in places around the world. Right now, it looks like Johns in the Middle East will have a ton of fun with this website, but I’d like to see them attract more attention in other places. The site is still young, and it will be nice to see how it grows. There’s no registration required to view the listings or even see contact info, so there’s no harm in seeing if they have any whores listed in your neighborhood.
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Nadia was growing a little impatient, waiting for Ronald. Her son had just fucked her silly about an hour ago. He had told her to shower, and wait for him. So that’s what she was doing. Her mind drifted, she wondered what Ronald had planned next for her. Why did he tell her to get on her bed on all fours, just to leave her here like this.She looked at the clock, it was just past two in the morning. Maybe he fell asleep. She thought about checking on him, but she dared not to move. After feeling...
IncestHi everyone, am writing story for quite sometimes. After reading my story a girl named Janani send me mail to my id. We started to chat, she was very reluctant in giving few details like her contact number. But we kept chatting whenever possible, and started role play. I used to call her kutty, chellam and so on. she calls me as mama. And address my wife as akka. this has been going on for a month. While chatting casually she said that she is going to call me after lots of persuasion she...
"Finally another boring school day is over!" Natalie Morton exclaimed as we walked home together after school that one afternoon. I normally wouldn't talk around her. She was always so pretty tossing her beautiful long dark silky hair back and decorating it with shiny barrettes. I guess in a way you could say I wanted to be like her. Almost all the boys in seventh grade would be drooling over her and the short little dresses she wore. As for me, I was the total opposite. Always wore my...
She was a perfect figure, at least for me, because I always wanted to play with her, body. For Every one else she was a thin, timid, shy girl, but for me she was a perfect piece of structure Un touched by anyone yet. I desperately wanted to experience the first touch with her, the first touch of my hands on her budding breasts, which were slightly bigger than two small lemons and with a fluppy nipple at the top. Although I never saw her nude, but could guess how she might be looking like. She...
IncestI awoke at 6:45am, which is not unusual for me, for many days I am already gone to work. But I figured I could sleep in some, especially after the workout we gave one another until midnight last night. We were still in the same position that we fell asleep in the night before, with her leg over mine, and somehow intertwined, her arm over my chest and her hear nestled on my chest and shoulder, and my arm around her neck and hand resting on her lower back. I looked over at her and saw she was...
I saw her in the valet parking area of one of the big new Vegas hotels. It was like a scene out of a movie--this whole crowd of Southern gals, dressed to the nines with billowy dresses and high heels and big floppy hats, saying goodbye to a toothy blonde bride in white lace. I wasn't looking at the bride, though, but at one of the bridesmaids. She was a giant, six feet tall and what was politely called big-boned. Well, being the rangy cowgirl type myself, I always liked a good-sized...
I stood in the corner, my arms folded behind me and resting just above the curve of my ass. My hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and my nose was pressed against the wall. I was naked except for the collar around my neck and the socks that reached just above my knees. I didn't move when I heard him enter the room. "It's time, Baby Girl. You may turn around."I slowly turned and faced him. He reached out and clipped the leash He held in his hand to the O-ring on my collar. "Hands and...
BDSMHi everyone, this is my first attempt at writing a story based on sexual escapades that I have experienced throughout my life. There is a element of truth in this story as this is based on an event that happened as close as yesterday.It was just past 7pm and the office had a deserted look to it already. Being the middle of summer most of the employees had already left on vacations and the remaining few unlucky souls had left for the day. I could feel the sharp spikes of pain resonate through my...