Apex from Rome
- 2 years ago
- 18
- 0
I knew UK Adult Zone was my kind of place even before I visited the joint. I mean, hell, it’s right there in the name. It’s kind of funny how the word adult refers only to age but makes you immediately think about boobs and boners and sex. Adults have other interests besides fucking each other or beating off, or at least that’s what I’ve heard. Whatever, though, because you and I both know why you’re here, and that’s 100% okay. In fact, it’s the entire reason I built my site, ThePornDude.
UKAdultZone.com lists escorts, dominatrices, trannies, and other sex workers in the United Kingdom. (They list male escorts, too, in case you’re into that.) The domain has been live for nearly twenty years now, which is fucking incredible, and they steadily receive more than half a million visitors every month. Those numbers alone tell me they might be able to help me get laid tonight, so what’s a Porn Dude to do? Well, I checked my bank account and went looking for a babe who fit my budget.
Putting the Adult in UKAdultZone
Pulling up the front page of UKAdultZone, I thought the page had only partially loaded. It’s a clean and polished design, but the top of the page jumps right into the Trending Towns list that’s formatted like something you’d find in a site’s footer. I may be nitpicking here as a professional smut reviewer, but some text or graphics between the title and the Trending Towns would be a little more pleasing to the eye.
That’s not to say it’s an ugly layout because it isn’t. I’ve seen some really bare-bones escort sites out there, but these guys have a nice logo and have clearly spent some time making the whole thing look nice. After a little blurb about the escorts (which I would have placed at the top), we find the site’s Latest Updates. It’s the kind of thumbnail view I like to see on an escort site, laying out the latest available paid pussy as an X-rated picture menu. UK Adult Zone allows explicit photos, so you’re not going to get bait and switched by some chick with a hairy butt crack. It also means there’s a lot of free T&A to shake your dick at if you decide you’d rather get off all by your lonesome.
One thing you’ll notice immediately is that there’s a fucking ton of activity on UK Adult Zone. This is one of the most vital measures of any escort site because you aren’t going to get laid in a fucking ghost town. The front page is full of new and active escorts peddling their services. I refreshed it after writing the above paragraphs, and I had an entirely new selection of chicks to choose from. Most of them have an AVAILABLE TODAY badge on their photos, so you can get some right away.
There are some filters at the top, letting you choose between Female Escorts, Agencies, Men, Trans/TV, Massage, and Dominatrix. I like how they’ve got a nice, wide variety of escorts to choose from, though I wish the filtering options were just slightly different. Honestly, I just want to remove the hairy male chests, dicks, and asses because they’re ruining my view of all the women!
On the same note, UKAdultZone doesn’t have any real advanced search features. That might be a real bummer if you’re looking for something in particular. The frustrating thing is that the site lets the women create elaborate profiles that list all their likes, talents, and stats, but there isn’t a way to search or filter for them. If they implemented even a basic search function that sifted through the listed info, it would improve the site’s usability a whole hell of a lot.
Where Do You Want to Get Pussy Tonight?
Escort sites are always a local affair because there isn’t much sense in searching for a hooker on the other side of the country. To that end, UKAdultZone.com has listings in different cities all across the UK. They’re all over the fucking place, too, from North Island to Wales to Scotland. Find a BBW mistress in Bedform to step on your balls and then travel to Worcester to bang an Asian up the ass. From Chesterfield to Crawley, Southampton to Stockport, Wimbledon to Worthing, you’re going to be able to find some action.
I clicked through to the London escorts, where I found a list of 45 sluts. The newest babe, Julia, is posing for her thumbnail wearing stockings with her ass up in the air, her front-page blurb offering the best prostate massage and strap-on available. Beside her is an exotic babe named Kayla, who describes herself as a “YOUNG CUM LOVIN CARIBBEAN BABE!” Blondes, brunettes, a couple of black girls, and a surprising number of Asians flesh out the page, plus a couple of shemale escorts.
A blonde babe with pigtails and hands full of lollipops caught my eye. I clicked through to her UKAdultZone profile to see how she might serve me. Besides a gallery of sexy photos, she lists interests like BDSM, Deep Throat, Face Sitting, and Rimming. Some sites make everyone use secret codes impenetrable to the newbie john, but as the photos, the listings are explicit and specific about what they’ll do.
The info gets deeper than that, too. I like how UK Adult Zone lets the women list their prices, so you don’t have to negotiate on the fly. They also list their available hours, phone numbers, and other ways to contact them. Visitors don’t have to register for an account to see the contact info, which means you don’t have to leave a paper trail or email trail for your wife to find. She doesn’t need to know you’re banging a tranny with bigger tits than her and a bigger dick than yours.
Let Us Know What You Think
I’ll be honest, folks: I’m a little skeptical if the last profile I looked at is real. “She” has only filled out some of her info, and her three photos available look like they were pulled from a nudie mag. If she were working with a big escort agency, the pics wouldn’t give me much pause, but she’s a freelancer.
Scams have always been a concern regarding the world’s oldest profession, which hasn’t changed with the internet. One thing that has changed is how to protect yourself from them. UKAdultZone.com allows user reviews, which is a massive help in finding a legit and talented escort. If you’re a regular here at ThePornDude, you know this is a make-or-break feature for me regarding escort directories.
Unfortunately, that chick I popped a boner for didn’t have any reviews—maybe because she’s too new, or perhaps because she’s fake. Whatever the case, I quickly found another London escort with more apparent experience. I’ll have to register an account to leave my own review, but I like to help out my fellow perverts.
Talking Dirty with Dirty Phone Sluts
Most escorts sites are useless if you’re outside the area where they’ve got listings, but UKAdultZone has a little something up its sleeve. They’ve also got a decent selection of phone sex operators to choose from. Many younger perverts think phone sex died years ago, but it’s alive and well on sites like this one.
The babes listed under Phone Sex are usually available for in-person hookups, but it’s nice to have the option to talk dirty with a pretty girl while you’re sitting on the toilet at work. Right away, I was drawn to a sexy chick in Bath wearing a black bra and a pair of rabbit ears. If I don’t end up dipping my ding-dong in a real woman tonight, I might give her a call.
Overall, UKAdultZone.com is precisely what an adult like me would want in a zone created just for them. It’s a place where you can quickly fulfill those grown-up needs of spilling your seed, whether it’s via a bareback encounter with a nineteen-year-old hooker, a blowjob from a blonde, or some old-time phone sex with a MILF who’s been doing it for years. The site gets enough traffic and attention to keep the roster constantly full and in rotation, meaning you’ve got some serious choices to make about how you’re going to spend this weekend.
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Here are the first 2 chapters. I will post more chapters of this fantasy. As of now it is a dozen chapters and close to 40,000 words. I hope people enjoy it. I pulled up to the address of my new job. I was happy to see it was a nice place in a nice neighborhood. Being a sober companion I have stayed in a lot of sketchy places and a few downright dumps. I grabbed my bags and headed to the front door. I hit the buzzer and after a few moments I hear a young woman's voice. "Who is it?" ...
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Remembering the first ejaculation. Her brother is up in the condo with her panties pulled over his face stroking his cock while she is laying out. He is letting her beaver butter melt over and coat his tongue as he enjoys the aroma of her sex. His cock is throbbing as he remembers taking naps with her when he was twelve and she was ten. He would gently reach out and touch her soft nylon panties pressing his fingers against her soft butt. Eventually he would lean over on her pressing his...
I finished up and came back into the bedroom where she handed me a pair of women’s underwear, a silk t-back and a two piece cock ring. Neither of these were mine so she had to have bought them while she was away. The two piece cock ring first went around both my cock and balls as a normal ring would and then the second part was about an inch wide and acted as a spreader/ restrictor that went around the scrotum between the balls and cock. Sierra helped put it on me and it felt tight at first...
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Straight SexI now turned around and saw Melvin Warner, one of the camp counselors, who clearly wasn't there to enforce the camp code of conduct. He seemed to be up to something else. Of course, he was only a year my senior, at twenty, also on summer break from college. He had tried to recruit me as a counselor, but I had declined. I got the impression that he was up to something even then and I hadn't wanted anything to do with whatever he had in mind. Fucking teenage girls was one thing, but Melvin...
Introduction: Bart Simpson decides to take revenge against Homer for a beating. Please Principal Skinner, just dont call Homer. Bart Simpson was back again in Principal Skinners office for another of his usual pranks. This time lunch-lady Doris caught him pouring some sedatives into the chili, and now he sat in the familiar office of Principal Skinner. I am sorry Bart, but I have to call your parents, this sort of behavior has to stop. After, groundskeeper Willie is still recovering from the...
My gambling addiction had landed me in serious trouble, but now I'd been offered a way out, a final gamble. But I didn't realise I was gambling away my identity - or who I'd become when I had. THE FINAL GAMBLE by BobH (c) 2013. - 1 - "What do you do?" It's something we all ask when making small talk with someone we've just met. My reply to that question always gets a chuckle. "I'm in ladies' underwear," I say, adding as the chuckle...
Kris and I were being lazy the next day, Wednesday, after a really long dayfor me. The best surprise of the day was a nice box waiting for me when Icame up. Mom had followed through and made a bunch of sweets for us. Krisdidn't care about the healthy snacks at that point and dove right in. Weheard our door open slowly and looked to see the buzzed head Bryson who wasstill sporting his chin strap beard. There was a big smile across hisface."Wassup, bitches?" Bryson asked with his arms thrown out...
Continue:You looked up at me, smiled.“Darlin, you are naughty…..more?”, you said.“Mhm”, I replied…..”I must say, this is not my first time having a dream like this. And sometimes I just close my eyes and fantasies about similar.” I continued.I slide my hands down against you, took a good grip of your head….”I must admit, all my fantasies are not of the nice type.” I then pushed you down, felt your tounge and teeth playing with my balls and scrotum….I pushed you further down. You looked at me...
We left the Citadel in stages. Rogard would have his sneaks in front and behind as we traveled. It was hard to believe that our group now consisted of fifteen. There would be the seven of us traveling in the main body and two sets of two sneaks ahead and the same behind. The King of Thieves had his stronghold in the southern mountains; he kept it there because it was nearly impossible to attack with a standing army. Thieves, being the counterpart of sneaks, simply melted away when they...
It was a hot August evening in the mountains of upper state New York. John was just finishing up chopping the wood that he was collecting for the Winter time. He was sweating profusely as the angry sun, like a torch in the steel blue of the Summer sky, beamed down on him. He laid the heavy wooden handled axe down on the ground in front of him and wiped the droplets of sweat off of his forehead. He was not really thinking of anything as he looked around him, at the little group of houses that...
VoyeurI’m not sure what I was expecting, but when we got to the top of the stairs, the reception area was brightly lit, with some beautiful pictures on the walls. The receptionist was a young woman that would not have been out of place in any corporate reception.“Hello, Lisa, Peter,” she said with a smile. “We need to do some admin first. I have a registration form for each of you, plus a questionnaire. I also need to take a payment from you to cover both the guest membership and the course fee.”I...
BDSMGee arrived to start shaking in the morning, only to find all his picking crews waiting for him. Around him, other shakers and their crews converged on the last remaining area of the forest to pick. “We’ve got all little trees this morning, but there are a lot of them,” Jonathon said. “They shake fast, but the picking takes just as long, so all the crews will be working.” “Your pickers are waiting for you, Gee. You’ve worked with over a hundred children this week and they all adore you,”...