Feeding An Addiction Part 2: Ch 1 free porn video

35,000 ft, Eastern Seaboard, Sunday 04:00 5th November 2017

Someone very smart once said, ‘When the facts change, I change my mind.’

Four in the morning, still two hours left of my long journey home, and a less eloquent version was, ‘only a fool never has second thoughts.’

I was definitely having second and possibly even third and first thoughts. In my case, the facts that had changed were that I no longer had Grace by my side and I’d no longer be eight thousand miles away. I’d be right here in New York, living with the everyday reality of agreeing to open up our marriage so that we could both see and date others.

At the time, it had seemed such a good idea. Opening the door to an amazing last week of every evening and night with Grace. Grace with her sexy body and sweet playful personality. It also meant the addict within, getting his daily fix about what Sue and Francis were up to in New York, where they were spending even more time together than Grace and me.

But as the two powerful turbo-fan engines hummed their way back to New York, my head was now no longer thinking what a great idea it was. It was full of thoughts of the price I might have to now pay for that last week of double-edged heaven I’d just enjoyed.

All the way back in 2015, Sue and I had slammed the brakes on her relationship with Francis after a single weekend of erotic fun. To be sure, all three of us had got immense pleasure and excitement out of that single weekend. But Sue and I had seen the large dangers ahead if we allowed things to develop, and had agreed to call it quits after that single weekend of fun.

Yet here we were, two and a half years later about to throw away our earlier caution. If we’d thought a weekend was a dangerous enough journey before, we were already well past this. If that weekend in 2015 represented base camp, after these last three weeks Sue and Francis were half-way up the mountain. They’d just spent two of the last three weeks virtually living as man and wife.

In some ways, second thoughts didn’t begin to describe the whirling mix of emotions I faced as we hurtled at six-hundred knots towards the dangers and worries waiting for me in New York. I desperately wanted to reach out and slow those engines to slow. Postponing indefinitely the moment I had to step back into the real world with all its risks.

As they served the final meal, I found myself thinking back to Sue and my week of talking and thinking. It was only a week ago, but how we’d come to our fateful decision seemed hazy and unclear in my mind.

I knew in my heart, that I’d been the one who was keener to continue straight ahead at the crossroads we’d faced, rather than turning back. To be sure, Sue was excited at the prospect of carrying on seeing Francis. But after her experience of watching me with Grace, she’d been confused about what we should do. She didn’t get how I could enjoy the bittersweet pain of watching her with another guy. Especially one like Francis, who was both very virile and with whom she’d already started forming an emotional attachment.

We’d both admitted the possible dangers of long term relationships between either of us and another person. But as I looked back, I knew I’d been the one who’d gently encouraged Sue to ignore these dangers. Encouraging both of us to downplay the risks as we talked and thought. Even at the time, I wasn’t sure I truly believed this myself, but nonetheless, this was how I played it with Sue.

But that was yesterday. As I heard the loud whirr of the undercarriage motors lowering the wheels, I took a deep breath and knew that yesterday’s decision was done. In just a few minutes, I’d have to deal with today’s reality. Have to pay the price for my week of double-edged heaven. I just hoped the price wouldn’t be too high, and that it was one Sue and I could afford without bankrupting our marriage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scarsdale, New York: Friday 10th November 2017

It was wonderful to be home. Enjoying both the large and small pleasures of being back in Scarsdale. The pleasure of a steaming hot shower, fresh in my mind as I toweled my hair and walked into our bedroom. Smiling as I watched Sue sat at her dressing table, her pale naked back looking so alluring.

The last week had been truly wonderful. Some of it had been nothing more than recovery time. Time to overcome the double impact of jet lag and a day and a half of travel. I’d left the hotel mid-afternoon on Friday and had only arrived back at JFK at six in the morning on Sunday. A ten-hour drive in Malawi with an overnight break, followed by twenty-four hours of flying and layover.

A grueling schedule by anyone’s standards, but the moment I saw Sue’s smiling face at arrivals my tiredness melted away in an instant.

She was alone. Francis was nowhere to be seen. I was relieved and happy to have Sue all to myself, although I was embarrassed to realize the tiniest part of my brain was a little disappointed. Pushing this thought away, I dropped my bags and took my wife of twenty years in my arms and it felt like we were the only two people in all the world. We held each other so tight, our embrace seeming to go on for ages and ages.

Finally, I released Sue and pulled back to look into at the face of this wonderful woman that was my life. Her cheeks were wet, and I leaned forward to gently kiss her tears away. I brushed her hair back, my heart feeling just as it did those twenty-five years ago when we first met. We kissed softly, enjoying the taste after what seemed an eternity apart. Ignoring the crowds around us, I hugged Sue again. Maybe making sure she was really there. The second embrace nearly as long as the first.

In the cab, we talked and held hands just like a couple of teenagers on a first date. I knew I was beyond happiness to be home with Sue again, and looking at her smile and flushed cheeks I knew she felt exactly the same way.

Once inside, I grabbed Sue and pulled her to me with a hunger I’d been unable to show at the airport. In the privacy of our own home, I gave full reign to my feelings and need to be reunited with her. It felt great to feel Sue’s warm body pressed against mine. To feel her big breasts pushing against my chest, so different from Grace’s little tits.

As I finally broke our kiss, I looked deeply into Sue’s eyes and spoke from the very bottom of my heart. “I need you. I need to be inside you, baby. To fuck and reclaim you.”

Sue could see from the fire in my eyes I meant every word. She smiled at me, teasing me as she raised her arms straight up, symbolically demanding that I strip her off as a husband reclaiming his wife should. The conquering hero returning.

“Come on, lover boy, take back what’s yours. Fuck me to show me I belong to you again.” The glint in her eye told me she wanted this as much as I did. The symbolism and excitement were rolled into one.

Within seconds, I’d stripped Sue’s top and loosed her bra, enjoying the exquisite feel of her big tits for the first time in three weeks. Ripe and full like small melons, fitting so perfectly in my hands. Sue’s eyes closed as she moaned her pleasure as I pawed and stroked the breasts that had fed our infant son all those years ago.

That was all the stripping I wanted to do. I urgently pushed Sue down onto the sofa and pulled her to the edge, pushing her skirt up around her waist. Still alternating kisses and looking into her teasing green eyes, I unzipped myself and pulled my cock free. With shaking hands, I pushed her panties to one side and sank all the way in with one single lunge.

Her heels still in place, as she smiled up at me I felt Sue’s long legs lock around my back. She sighed with a sound of pure contentment and satisfaction. As her eyes met and she kissed me softly, her smile said it all. I might not be as big as her lover Francis, but I was her husband and she was fulfilled now her soul mate was home and where he should be. Inside her body, ready to show her the love that had grown these last twenty years and to show her how much I’d missed her.

“Welcome home, husband of mine.” Her legs gave an extra little squeeze against my ass as she pushed up to kiss me softly.

Feeling the wonderful surrounding warmth and squeeze of her pussy, I just lay there luxuriating in the feelings and sensation of being as one with the woman I loved. We were totally happy to just lay there like that, enjoying the perfect joining of our bodies and souls. Just kissing and looking at each other. Getting to know each other's faces all over again. Like blind people suddenly rediscovering sight.

And then slowly I started to move in and out. Sue’s legs tightened around me to show her approval. Music to my ears, as Sue’s moans, got a little longer and louder. I knew I wasn’t making her scream and shout as Francis often did. But I didn’t care. This wasn’t some male ego competition, this was two people bound by a deep love expressing that connection in the most loving and intimate way.

Sue and I just looked at each other as I did my husbandly job. Away for three weeks, behind the clock with hours to make up. I kissed and licked her nipples, smiling at the size and wonderful feel of Sue’s breasts. Thinking how I loved their full ripeness and how glad I was she’d wanted to have them made bigger, and how they still looked and felt great five years on.

As we kissed and my ass moved faster, I knew we both wanted this to last as long as possible. So we could cherish this special moment and stretch it out. This last week Francis had been Sue’s bed partner, just as Grace had been mine. For me, it felt amazing not to be sheathed in a condom. To feel the sensitive flesh of my cock rubbing bare against the velvety skin of Sue’s pussy. To know that when I came there wouldn’t be a little rubber teat to catch my seed. To know that I’d fire my seed deep into the woman I loved. Shoot my low-sperm count seed into her womb. Enjoying the release and union, knowing Donovan wouldn’t have a little sibling.

Before my sperm count meant this was just a one in a million chance we could safely ignore. Now even that chance had gone, with Sue back on the pill to avoid the high risk of being made pregnant by Francis, already a father to three adult children.

I shook my head to clear any thoughts of Francis. This was about Sue and me. Back in Malawi, Grace and I had made love three or four times a day. A unique achievement for me in the recent past. For that last week, Grace had shared my bed and we’d always started the day making love. The sexy little minx often woke me with a blowjob before either mounting me or getting me so excited that I’d pound her hard before breakfast. Invariably we’d showered together, which often led to another round of love-making before breakfast and work.

With the hotel quiet and the help of her friend Lisa covering her shifts, Grace would normally spend the evening with me as we talked and made love. Eight thousand miles away, Sue had been living a very similar life. Overnighting with Francis most of that last week, as the two of them were virtually inseparable apart from their work hours in different parts of the hospital.

Sue and I talked most days, both having the discretion to have our partners at least out of screenshot and quiet. But I knew Sue was often calling me from the bedroom or some other part of Francis’ house. I could hardly complain, as Grace was often sitting quietly watching TV with the sound down while I chatted to Sue.

My frequent love-making with Grace had beneficial side effects. Partly the heat, but mostly the sexual athletics with Grace had helped me to lose nearly a stone in weight. And I can’t think of a more pleasant way to improve your aerobic and cardiac fitness! This combined with improved sexual stamina meant that despite my excitement to be deep inside Sue’s body I was able to keep up a good pace and delay my orgasm until I knew Sue was close.

Her eyes were screwed up and I felt her soft hands touching my flanks as the straps of her heels bit into my ass from the way her legs encircled me and pulled me deep. Speeding up and pounding harder, I was rewarded by a change in the pitch of her moans. Now a little more frequent and a little more needy.

At that moment, I realized how much I’d missed this. And how much more special it seemed. Like the first glass of cold water after three weeks without a real drink. I’d enjoyed my time with Grace. And I’d enjoyed knowing Sue was with Francis and watching them sometimes. But without this Grace and Francis were both meaningless. This was the woman I’d loved for as long as I’d lived in America, and who I’d love until I stopped living.

I lowered my head and sucked at her teat again, enjoying the feel of her erect nipples. Enjoying a basic male satisfaction as her nipples and breathing told me I had a satisfied mate. I nibbled at her ear and kissed at her sensitive neck, winning a little squeal of pleasure from Sue.

From the feeling at the top of my cock I knew I had maybe a minute left in me before I blew my load. Knowing I was close to the home run, I pulled Sue’s ankles and heels from behind my back and pushed them all the way up next to her shoulders. Glad that at forty-four, she was a regular at the gym with the suppleness to match. Enjoying the way this made Sue look vulnerable to whatever I wanted to do to my woman after three weeks away. Feeling like a conquering hero with his woman at his mercy.

Her knees now kissing her shoulders, Sue’s scrunched up eyes opened with a look of surprise. Surprise turned to a knowing smile, telling me she loved this new more assertive and aggressive Pete. Normally I’m a gentle and considerate lover, but today I felt raw as I needed so badly to reclaim Sue after all the time she’d spent with Francis.

“Come on, lover boy. Finish me off. Show your wife who she belongs to.” Her smile was designed to tease and I responded as she wanted, fucking her as hard and deep as I could. Love making was gone, this was raw and possessive fucking. A male possessing his mate, using every ounce of energy and inch to lever himself as deep into his mate’s body as he could.

Her legs pushed all the way back, I grabbed Sue’s arms and pulled them high above her head to complete the surrender. I could feel my cock going into hyperdrive as that familiar tingling started and the sap started rising.

With one final lunge, I pushed as deep as I could, covering Sue’s mouth as we held each other and screamed our release, sharing a climax that we both needed. My ass kept pumping, lunging as four or five or six spurts shot deep into Sue’s womb. At that instant, I knew there were only two people on the couch. All thoughts of Francis and Grace were shredded and irrelevant as Sue and I reclaimed each other.

There was no danger of me crushing Sue, so I let my weight push her down, knowing we were both enjoying this final part of our coupling. Loving the feel of her breasts squashed flat against my chest, her nipples still pleasingly erect.

I finally eased my weight of Sue and propped myself next to her, gazing into her beautiful green eyes. So much better up close compared to the third rate SKYPE facsimile of Sue’s smiling eyes. I knew we were both thinking the same thing. We were both finally home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of that first week back home was like a second honeymoon. Joseph would be arriving from Ghana in a week’s time to work with me on the final report. When he arrived I knew it would be long hours as we burned the midnight oil to finish the report in just a week. But before his arrival, I had the whole week off work as time in lieu and Sue had managed to get the week off.

With a whole week together, we were like a couple seeing and enjoying each other for the first time. We’d not planned it that way, but we’d basically taken a three-week sabbatical from our marriage and our wedding vows. But this wonderful week we now shared showed both of us we’d returned to our marriage with a stronger and fresher love than before.

Our love for each other had never been in doubt. But over twenty years of marriage, any couple can become a little bit complacent. It’s like having a beautiful garden that you look at every day for twenty years. But after three weeks apart and three weeks each with a different lover, any complacent overfamiliarity had been burnt away, leaving only fresh eyes ready to enjoy every little detail of the love we were re-discovering together.

We did all manner of things, enjoying ourselves more than we had done for many a year. We slept in late. Stayed up late exploring the city. We made love wherever and whenever the fancy took us. We laughed and joked more than I can remember. Other times we’d just cuddle and talk for hours on end.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were days when we were so wrapped up in each other that I honestly don’t think either of us even thought about Grace or Francis. Donovan called us on Wednesday and commented that something felt different about us. He reckoned we seemed like a giggly couple of teenagers. When he asked what was up, we told him a half-truth. That we were enjoying a few days off together and we were having such a great time that it had reminded us of when we were younger and more carefree. I’m not sure if he really believed our explanation, but he had the good grace to at least pretend he did.

It was only on Thursday that Grace and Francis started re-entering our thoughts. It was Sue who was the first to mention it. We cuddled up in bed on Thursday afternoon, recovering from a long bout of love-making. Sue was laying there with her long brown hair spread over my chest, idly playing with my chest hair.

She was in a happy place, full of the joys of life, and turned to look at me. She pinched the now much-reduced fat around my waist and smiled. “Maybe I should send a thank you card to Grace. I sent her a fatty who sometimes ran out of puff making love. And she sent me back a lean, hungry love machine.”

I smiled at her joke, puffing myself up just a touch at the compliment. “Hey, not so much of the fatty, thank you very much.”

Sue moved her body up and kissed me. “Okay, withdrawn. But you have to admit, it’s wonderful how with the help of our two friends we’ve been making love three or four times a day. How long is it since that has happened, baby?”

I smiled back at Sue, signaling my agreement. There was no arguing with the obvious truth in front of us. Our time apart and time with our respective lovers had certainly put the spark and sparkle back into our love-making.

Sue’s face was now only inches from mine, and suddenly a wistful and more thoughtful look came over her face. “Honey, do you miss Grace?”

“No. I’m lying here with the love of my life. Spending twenty-four-seven with the woman I love. Making love whenever we fancy. So, no. I don’t miss Grace.”

Sue didn’t seem satisfied with my answer, her expression telling me she wasn’t done.

“Maybe that’s not what I meant. What I meant was do you think about her much? If she ever comes to New York would you want to pick up where you left off and have her as a lover?”

This was a different question, not so easily answered. As I looked at Sue’s beautiful face, she was eagerly awaiting my answer.

“Honey, these last few days, back here I can honestly say I’ve not really thought about her at all. Sure, I’m fond of her. We got close, as friends and as lovers. But right here, right now, all I can think about is you and us.”

“What about if she comes over here?”

This was more than just a theoretical question. Between them, Francis and Sue had discovered that one of the hospitals in Manhattan has a scholarship for training nurses from developing countries and that Grace might well be eligible. It was quite likely she might be over in the next few weeks for an interview and some exams.

“We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it,” was my non-committal answer.

“You know you have my permission to have her as a lover if you like. I like Grace, and she seems to have a positive effect on your libido…” Sue joked, as her hand squeezed my recently active manhood.

“Oh, so she’s some kind of warm-up act for you is she, honey?”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that! But fair’s fair, I’ve got Francis and so I can hardly complain if you want to knock around with your sweet young girlfriend.”

This was the first time either of us had mentioned Francis since I’d arrived back in New York four and a half days ago.

Even just hearing his name again jolted me out of the little heavenly bubble that Sue and I had built these last few days. No Grace, no Francis. Just Sue and me, reliving a simpler time when it was just the two of us.

But hearing his name again brought back all of those second thoughts and doubts that had gnawed away at me throughout my long flight home. Since then I’d been so wrapped up in Sue and our little heavenly bubble that I’d not given these doubts and fears any oxygen.

That’s why hearing his name had given me such a jolt. But true to form, it was a jarring feeling which pulled me in two totally conflicting directions. Part of me felt like wrapping the woman next to me tight in my arms. Of never letting Francis within a mile of this woman whose love I’d just reclaimed. But the other part of my split personality was the addict who’d just heard the name of his favorite high. Whose memory of previous highs and fixes had just been awoken. An addict salivating like one of Pavlov’s dogs at the sound of the ringing bell.

Sue immediately sensed the change in me. Myself, I could feel the tension in my body as something I’d not thought about for four happy days was suddenly something that needed addressing.

I saw just the slightest shaking in Sue’s body and heard it in her voice as she spoke.

“You know he’s steered clear. Given us space and time until we’re ready to get in touch with him.”

I pondered Sue’s words and wondered if there was something else she was saying. Inviting me to read between the lines.

At that moment, many of the things Sue and I had said when we’d talked about the crossroads in our marriage came flooding back to me. What Sue had said about how if we continued down this path she’d most likely one day be so close to Francis that she’d love both him and me. What she’d said about realizing that after twenty years of marriage she wanted to now explore different sexual experiences.

With these thoughts and memories crashing around in my head, I sensed our little heavenly bubble had run its course. That our new marriage, with its new rules and new freedoms, was about to slowly crack the shell and start inching its tentacles into our lives.

Sue was still looking intently into my face. Still shaking, barely visible but clear to me. She was nervously waiting for me to speak.

And as the shell of our little heavenly bubble continued to slowly crack, the tentacle reaching out bit by bit was the side of me that wanted my highs. Not the cautious, fearful side of me that had stopped things with Francis way back in 2015. Fully aware of my two warring sides, it was like I was listening to someone else speak. Not me, but some guy with a hypnotic, almost serpent-like voice. The guy who was fifty-one percent, but was back in control.

“When do you want to see him?”

Sue paused, looking deep into my eyes to judge my feelings before she answered.

“That’s your call, honey.”

I knew she loved me with all her heart. And I knew she’d loved the last few days. But her face also gave her away. Gave away the fact she now had two men in her life. Both of whom she loved to spend time with.

Sue was still naked, and as she awaited my answer her big breasts went up and down in time with her nervous breathing. I wondered whether it would be me or Francis who would be the one lucky enough to be the next one to play with them. Rising and falling with such a hypnotic and captivating beauty.

I looked deeply into Sue’s beautiful green eyes, which I’d first gazed into a full twenty five years ago, and the masochist within me finally answered her question.

“Friday night. Tomorrow.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sue was sat at her dressing table semi-clad. Her naked breasts jiggled with every stroke as she brushed her hair, readying herself for her date with Francis. I’d just emerged from a long shower and wasn’t sure if Sue even realized I was standing in the bedroom.

She was facing away from me and so not able to see me in her dressing mirror. I gazed at her pale back and the outline of her large jiggling breasts, thinking how sexy and desirable she looked.

As she brushed her hair she was humming a happy little tune to herself, evidently happy that she’d be seeing Francis again after a whole five and a half days apart. As Sue continued to happily hum, her excitement hurt and excited me in equal measure.

I stood still and continued to watch my wife preparing herself for her lover. She opened a drawer and pulled out a lacy green bra I’d not seen before. Looping her arms through the straps she reached behind and with a practiced touch threaded the little metal hooks into their matching eyes. I swear she smiled a secret smile to herself as she lifted and separated and pushed until she was happy with the effect. Her expensive boobs perfectly positioned to attract the attention and desire of her lover. Arranged with the same care and attention that a grocer would arrange their wares.

Hands underneath, one final little push upward and a last satisfied look in the mirror. Then she reached into her jewelry box and pulled out a gold necklace with a green stone that matched the color of her beautiful eyes. Like the new green bra, this wasn’t something I’d bought Sue.

Before this realization, I’d been battling a potent mix of excitement and fear. But seeing this jewelry and sexy lingerie bought for her my Francis transformed these feelings into growing jealousy. By now I was sure Sue didn’t know I was in the room, I finally spoke.

“That’s pretty.”

Two words. But Sue knew me well enough to know what I really meant. Rough translation, did he buy it for you? To match your eyes? Jewelry’s my job, what’s he playing at?

Sue jumped as she heard my words.

“Pete, you startled me. I didn’t know you’d finished your shower.”

Coming closer I kissed her back, her pale skin now contrasted with the rich green of the bra band wrapped around Sue’s back. I reached around and lifted the necklace, examining the stone. I’m no expert, but the stone looked like some sort of emerald and looked expensive. As I examined it I saw that the casing at the top had two barely visible initials. As I tried to focus my eyes on these tiny objects, I already knew in my heart what I’d see.

I felt the wave of emotion roll over me as my eyes finally focused on the little gold initials. ‘S’ and ‘F’.

Her face flushed with emotion, Sue held up a small jewelry box in the famous turquoise. Tiffany & Co. She opened the box and handed me a handwritten note.

“S, I can’t thank you enough for the last three weeks. They’ve been magical. Giving me a wonderful window back into what I had for so many years. What I thought I might have with Roni. Pete’s a lucky guy. I hope you still have time and space in your heart for me when your first love returns. Yours always, F.”

As I looked at Sue, I thought she was going to speak. But she seemed to change her mind, just content to hold my gaze with a steady look. Not apology. Not challenge. Just saying, ‘it is what it is. You agreed to this.’

This was the first moment since I’d returned home that I truly realized that my beloved Sue was now a woman who had two men in her life. When I truly realized the enormity of what I’d too easily agreed to over an eight thousand mile internet call. As I looked into Sue’s steady gaze, I felt a shiver spread through my body and I wondered if this was really a life I was ready to lead. A life I could cope with.

“If you want, I’ll take it off.”

It was one of those moments that seem to last forever. My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my mouth as a lifetime’s insecurities and fears seemed pooled in one single moment of time. I smiled and shared the truth with Sue. She probably already knew it, but I thought she deserved it out loud.

“Darling, the truth is I love it and I hate it. But I think you already know that.”

Smiling as enigmatically as Leonardo’s famous muse, Sue’s lips gave the faintest of smiles.

“Peter Jones. You’re a strange man. Not like other husbands at all. But I love you.”

I was still holding the expensive necklace Francis had bought her, so she barely had to move to kiss my cheek. She kissed it twice, gently whispering afterward, “Are you still okay if I stay overnight?”

This had been Sue’s earlier request which I’d agreed to. I was glad she was checking I was still okay with this arrangement. She looked into my eyes and the way her expression changed I was sure she’d seen something in my face. Suddenly she looked concerned.

On Thursday, I’d agreed to Sue’s request to overnight with Francis after their Friday evening date. Then it had seemed exciting and erotic, but now the idea filled me with fear and I honestly wasn’t sure I could cope. These were the things Sue was seeing in my face and which made her look so worried.

“Sue, honey, I know you were looking forward to spending the night with Francis. But, honestly, I’m not sure I can cope with that just yet. For now, I think it might be too much. Too painful. Sorry, darling, would you be okay to come home tonight? I really think I need you. Maybe next time?”

Even though Sue had been the one to ask if I was okay with it, I could see the disappointment in her face. She started to speak, but stopped herself and said nothing. There was a thoughtful look on her face, but she decided to keep what she was thinking to herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Francis arrived around half an hour later to collect Sue for a night out dancing. I shook his hand and showed him into the lounge. The irony of the calendar hit me. Sue and Francis's relationship had started on a Friday night when they’d joined the hospital’s regular Friday night carousing crew. Tonight was Friday and this was the gang they were again re-joining. Discretion assured. The gang no doubt secretly happy that Francis and Sue were again an item within their secret little world of shared workplace romances.

I’d not seen him for three weeks, and as I fixed him a drink I couldn’t help but sneak a look at him in the mirror as he looked at the sports show on TV. Understandably he looked happy and expectant, reunited with Sue after not seeing her at all for the last five days. Male insecurity being what it is, men will often sneak a peek as they stand next to each other in the restroom. That’s how I felt as I sized up my competition as he continued watching the TV, unaware of my surreptitious inspection.

I’d known Francis for two and a half years now, but I was struck again by his virile masculinity and air of authority. I don’t know if that’s something they teach at doctor school, or whether it came from his tall muscular frame, or was cultural from his wealthy background in Nigeria. Whatever it was, I envied it more than ever that evening. Just as I envied his relaxed charm, good looks and the way that Sue was so attracted to him.

I headed upstairs, telling myself I was doing this to let Sue know Francis had arrived. In reality, I was doing it to breathe in the sights, sounds and smells of my beautiful wife one last time before she disappeared off into the Friday night with her Prince Charming.

As my head peered around the door, Sue’s smile told me she knew why I was there and who’d just arrived. She had a radiant smile of expectation and deep happiness. The smile of a beautiful woman who had two men wrapped her around her little finger. Her doting husband of twenty plus years and her doting and handsome lover.

As she stood up from her dressing table stool, she looked a picture of sexy feminine beauty. She’d paired a tight black mini-skirt with matching five-inch heels that showed off her long legs to amazing effect, and helping her to tower above me by nearly three inches. Suddenly standing five-foot-ten to my slightly less than five-foot-seven.

She’d chosen the same tight pink top she’d worn on her evening with Francis that Jenny had secretly broadcast to me in Malawi. The material was so tight around her big boobs that the pattern and outline of the new bra Francis had bought was clear to me. Just as it would be to everyone else in the club.

I know I’m biased, but to me she looked just like a supermodel as she sashayed across the room towards me, walking with an exaggerated wiggle that I knew was intended to tease me. I looked across at her dressing table and saw an empty wine glass. Somehow it helped me to know that she’d felt the need to have a drink. As she closed the three-inch height difference to give me a kiss, I smelt the subtle fragrance of her perfume at the same instant as I felt the slightly sticky texture of her lipstick on my lips.

Taken separately each part of her costume was alluring and a statement of intent. Her intent to seduce Francis and make herself fully available to him. Taken together it was overpowering, and it left me with a gut-wrenching confusion and panic. Why was I letting my beautiful wife go off to spend the evening with another man?

It had seemed so safe and easy when I’d been eight thousand miles away and Sue was just a picture on a video screen. Here, standing next to her in our bedroom and smelling her perfume as I saw the excited flush of her cheeks, I just felt a wave of emptiness and bewildered loneliness sweep over me.

Sue was looking away from me and so couldn’t see the look on my face. That’s the only way I can explain how she continued to tease me with the exaggerated wiggle of her ass as she tottered down the stairs on her high heels.

I listened intently to the sound of her heels on the stairs. The sound stopped and I knew in my heart she was standing on tiptoes kissing Francis. I could picture them in my mind. Making up for lost time. Maybe telling each other how they’d missed one another these last five days.

Suddenly I felt too weak and vulnerable to follow Sue downstairs and see the two of them together in the flesh. It might be too much, and I might well lose it which would be hugely embarrassing and might create all kinds of problems.

I suddenly felt light-headed and only stopped myself from falling by propping myself against the wall. Eyes closed, breathing deeply, I couldn’t get the picture of them standing downstairs kissing out of my mind. By a supreme effort of willpower, I managed to calm myself just enough. I knew they’d be wondering why I’d not followed Sue downstairs. But knowing I couldn’t face seeing them together right now I used my last reserves of willpower and resolve to shout an alibi down the stairs.

“I’m just going to have a nap. Have a great time, you two.”

My voice was nervy and filled with emotion, but thankfully Sue didn’t pick up on this.

“Okay, hun. See you later. Don’t wait up!”

My immediate reaction was a huge relief that Sue hadn’t come upstairs to investigate. I don’t think I could have coped with the conversation that would have ensued. But as I heard the front door slam shut as she headed off to the club with Francis, my emotions switched through a hundred and eighty degrees. Why hadn’t she heard the panic in my voice? Didn’t she care? Was she already that pre-occupied with Francis after only five days apart?

All of these thoughts went through my head as I settled in for what I knew was going to be a very long night. It was only seven thirty and I felt abandoned and bereft. Like one of those little dinghies floating alone in a vast ocean after a ship goes down. An emotion of abandonment that felt ten times worse knowing that Sue was off enjoying herself with Francis.

A little part of my brain reminded me I’d given her permission to do this. Two weeks ago I’d been the one who first said out loud that we were both free to see and date whoever we liked. Just one day ago I’d also told her I was okay for her to spend Friday evening with Francis.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I headed to the lounge and poured myself a large whiskey. I wondered how long it would be til Sue would be back. I tried to distract myself watching a new movie on Amazon. The movie was good, but it wasn’t up to the task. It was like taking two paracetamol when what you really needed was a whole bottle of valium.

This felt different from the other times. Before I’d either been there with them or I’d been on the other side of the world and distracted by Grace. They were out together and I was all alone in our family home. I thought about calling Grace, but it was the middle of the night for her. The best I could do was try and cheer myself up thinking about seeing her again if she came over here for the scholarship interview.

But thinking about Grace was just a temporary placebo. Try as I might I couldn’t stop myself thinking about Sue and Francis together at the club. Sue in that super short mini-skirt, with those heels and that tight pink top. Her big tits pressing into Francis’ chest as they danced, Sue’s arms locked around his neck, their mouths locked in an endless kiss. I wondered how long they’d stay with the hospital gang at the club. Before saying their goodbyes to their colleagues and heading black to Francis’ place to make love. Their colleagues sniggering and nudging each other with the knowledge of where they were headed, and why.

This evening felt different than before. The excitement and arousal were still there. Just. But before it had been a roaring flame. Sucking up and burning up my fears and panic, like a flame consumes oxygen. But now the excitement was no longer a flame. It was barely a small flickering candle, totally unable to still my fears and worries.

Thoughts of Grace were the only thing that kept me sane as I looked at the clock and wondered when Sue would return. I tried to be optimistic. Remembering the wonderful four days Sue and I had just shared. Remembering the way she looked at me so lovingly. The way her soft warm body felt and the gentle scent of her perfume.

I knew all of this was true, and that she loved me deeply. But I also remembered how, when I’d asked her to not sleep over, she’d looked conflicted. Starting to speak, but then thought better of it. I sat in our empty home with only that tiny flickering candle of excitement to keep me company, and I’d have given anything to know what it was she stopped herself from saying.