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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e13 Stephanie 53 sex shop worker from Southampton

Series 3, Episode 13: Stephanie We’re in a sex shop – nothing big or flashy, but it’s not too dark and seedy either. Two aisles running from front to back – one filled with magazines and DVDs, the other with dildos and vibrators. The rear wall covered with kinky costumes, and at the front a single member of staff. There are no customers in the store, perhaps scared off by our camera crew. The member of staff is middle-aged going on old – wearing a little red dress that she’s really 20, or...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e15 Neetu 43 doctor from Glasgow

We’re in a quiet side-street in the middle of Glasgow, up in Scotland. The sky is grey, and the buildings are brown. It’s all very boring. There’s a small, single storey, medical centre infront of us. Two parking spaces reserved for doctors – one marked N GUPTA, the other S GUPTA. Inside, and we’re in a doctor’s room, looking at a dark-skinned and very skinny, almost shapeless middle-aged lady. She’s dressed semi-formally in trousers and a pale blouse, standing infront of her desk. She has...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e16 Gabrielle 56 civil servant from Westminster

Traffic filters along a canyon like street. Flat fronted 3 and 4 story buildings lining either side. A red double decker London bus, followed by a black cab, is a dead giveaway to the fact that we’re back in the nation’s capital again. Infront of us the large, colourful and modern square front of The Home Office looms up looking surprisingly friendly. A smartly dressed, prim-looking woman takes a step forward from the building to meet us. She fills her suit out well, good hips fairly narrow...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e17 Gillian 39 university lecturer from Bath

Series 3, Episode 17: Gillian Brook We open with a montage of the beautiful Georgian architecture of the grand city of Bath, near Bristol in England’s south-west. Then cut to a shot of the University of Bath. Hundreds of 18-22 year olds strolling around campus ... And among them, standing still whilst everyone else moves around her, looking right into camera, is our next subject... She’s a fairly attractive woman – soft features and a round (not fat) face. Her long blonde hair is tied up...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e19 Michelle 44 former air hostress from High Wycombe

Series 3, Episode 19: Michelle Williamson Welcome to High Wycombe, a small commuter town just west of London. We’re currently sitting infront of a very nice two-story house with ivy growing up the front wall, and bushes in the small front yard. It’s quiet, with virtually no traffic on the narrow bending street. The house isn’t huge, but it’s bigger than the average detached home in the area. We approach the front door, shooting with a hand-held camera, and the door opens as we arrive and...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e20 Carin 60 retired school head teacher from Birmingham

Series 3, Episode 20: Carin Basham Pan around a large public park – grassed areas stretch away on either side of a concrete pathway. Dogs are running around together whilst owners watch on. It’s a brisk autumn day and the trees have already lost most of their leaves. The wind is whipping everything around. We focus on an older woman standing on the path and watching the dogs running around. Her blonde hair (turning to grey) blows in the wind. Her friendly face is warm and approachable....

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series Charley doggy gangbang part 1

End of Series 3 special: Charley Kiefer Part 1 Footage courtesy of British Academy of Television. We see the brightest and best of the British television industry, all dressed up in their best – hair perfect, make-up (for the ladies, mainly), and big smiles. Amongst the familiar actors, actresses, chat-show hosts, comedians, reality stars and general celebrities, we see a face that looks slightly out-of-place, yet still familiar to us ... It’s our very own Charley, in a long, white,...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series Charley doggy gangbang part 2

End of Series 3 special: Charley Kiefer Part 2 We fade in on highlights of yesterday’s episode. Charley accepting her award, arriving at our studio, undressing to show off her slim little body and pert bottom, being mounted by several different dogs, sucking them, Heather scooping up their cum into the glass ... And then we’re back up to our favourite slut, looking up into camera and smiling. Looking pretty, and happy, but at the same time a lot like a woman who’s just had sex with five...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e9 Melissa Gilliam 49

Charley’s voice sounds out as we look at a map of the UK... “Most of our episodes are very similar – a woman who wants to play with a dog ... Sometimes she has a partner who wants to watch, or maybe even to join in ... But this week – we have something a little different for you. File this one under, something different...” We fade in on a strange trio sitting on a couch, facing the camera. Male, male, female. All three of them competing to be the most feminine. Close-up on the first guy –...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e10 Isla McNamee 34

Series 6, Episode 10: ISLA McNAMEE (34) Fade in – we’re in a small lock-up garage – small and cramped, concrete floor, shelves and a workbench covered in motor-mechanics tools and parts. We’re not looking at any of that though – because between them and the camera, there is a woman bending backwards over an old motorcycle wearing nothing but a very brief bikini and a pair of high-heels. She’s slim and healthy – strong limbs, flat belly, obviously fake boobs, with tanned flesh (and no...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e12 Catherine Harrison 29

Series 6, Episode 12: Catheryn Harrison (29), from Cardiff We fade in on the familiar image of our hostess, Charley, with her tattooed fake cleavage doing it’s best to escape over the top of a strapless red mini-dress, as she drives her BMW along a quiet duel-carriageway. There are more cars around than in previous weeks, but it’s still pretty quiet. Charley talks over her shoulder as she drives – talking to her passenger rather than to the camera. We switch to a second GoPro camera which...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e2 Kelly Mills 25

“Series 7, Episode 2: Kelly Mills (25), from Plymouth” We open with a photo-session. A familiar looking young lady posing outside a nightclub as a small group of photographers, local media, take pictures of her. She’s very slim, with short styled blonde hair. Wearing a mini-dress, cut low to show off her firm, wide spaced tits, with a high skirt to show off her slim legs. A few little tattoos are on show. When she smiles we see bright white teeth and a lot of pink gum. She’s posing up a...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e3 Helen Mahr 43 fishy fun

We begin with home video footage of a young boy and his mother in a doctor’s office. It’s one of those feel-good Youtube clips of a child getting his first aural implant. The boy is cute, his mother is nervous and but trying to sit still. We focus on her for a second, wondering if she’s our guest this week ... Then the audiologist leans in – her fiery orange-red hair hanging down loose over her shoulders, a warming smile, a pretty face. She tinkers with a small plastic implant on the side of...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e4 Aiman Ali 31

We open on a photo of a geek sitting infront of a computer, looking into camera. Then fade through to a stunning bit of fantasy artwork – a large, muscle-bound and windswept hero – with the same face as the geek. Then fade to another photo, a greasy haired kid trying to look tough. Fading through to a hero with Brad Pitt ‘Fight Club’ type body, and Brad Pitt ‘A River Runs Through It’ type hair blowing in the wind. A woman’s voice, well spoken, light and friendly, with a slight...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e5 Bianca Woodman 52

Series 7, Episode 5: Bianca Woodman (52), from Sunderland We open on the kind of ugly post-modern concrete structure that was all-too-popular in the UK in the 70s and 80s. Low, oddly shaped, drab coloured. Attempts at landscaping have failed to make it look any more impressive. Light rain falls against a grey sky. Inside, we see council workers hard at work (for the cameras), before we come to rest on one particular member of staff, walking along a corridor ahead of us, a couple of files...

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