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Fifty Shades Of Stolkholm Syndrome Chapter 2 - Th free porn video
Helen got home and ran up the drive way excited, to see her parents. Her father sat in his chair pipe in hand and cloth cap looking grimly at her with a large black pudding in his hands,
“Eee by Gum a what news have you today?” he said in the least convincing Lancashire accent since Wallace and Gromit got lost there and tried not to stand out.
“Oh dad stop trying to be Northern” Helen said
“What but our roots are ‘up north we have worked for generations as …”
“As chartered accountants, face it we are as Southern as we can get with out being French Daddy and I wish you would stop it”
“What did you call us?? French I let you know that your ancestors slaughtered more Frenchmen in the hundred year’s war than anyone else armed only with a black pudding and a knowledge of the deadly martial art handed down for generations of Ecky Thump”
“No, that was from a 1975 episode of the Goodies and you have gone quite insane”
Helen said getting quite cross with her fathers attempt not to be a upper middle class stock broker who is in hiding due to the stock crass of 2008.
“Mother … our Helen is saying I’m insane again” her father said with the indignity of a man who could not tell the difference between a Yorkshire accent and a Welsh one.
Helen’s mother came in brandishing a tea pot with curlers and a hair style that suggested she had either been hit by lightening or had come out the worst in an argument with a Van De Graff generator, though it might have been due to her sitting on the washing machine during the spin cycle.
“Oh father you do go on, out Helen is a good lass she can speak proper and doesn’t kill fat people like her Twin brother, Gerald” she smiled as she poured tea into father’s mug.
“Oh yes Gerald the prize of the family, if he did not have that pathological hatred for fat people, he could of gone far in life had he not tried to harpoon those fat women at the local baths” he said
“Oh yes, he was thinking he was Captain Ahab that day .. And not that substandard version with Patrick Stewart but the Gregory Peck one, dragged away half drowned when they caught him”
“Aye he was stabbing that fat woman for twenty minutes with his harpoon before she cottoned on”
“So what is the news you have for us Helen … you become a Prostitute to save us from the poorhouse?” her father said sarcastically though not enough for him to not think that it might be a good idea.
“Well Daddy … I got a job as an Artists Muse”
“A muse???” her father said as his false moustache fell into his tea.
“Yes with Julian Beige the bete noir of the art scene” she said indignantly.
“Funny I thought he was a screaming Queen either that or what was that expression that Melvin Bragg used about him on the South Bank show last month Mother??”
“A low life sexual deviant with about as much right to live as a rabid cockroach with itchy ball syndrome, was the gist of what he said as I think”
“ Gordon Bennet, no Daughter of mine is going to be the muse of a man who gets so drunk that he craps on a coffee table and it was sold the following week for sixty thousand” he said
“Oh no I will sort him out and turn him into a pure hearted man; I know that he is like Edward in Twilight”
“Sorry Our Helen but I got the impression Edward was a poof and as for Twilight I point out that Vampires are blood sucking parasites and the entire premise of Twilight is a pile of shite that sucked pigs balls” her father said pointing out what he lovingly called “The Bleeding obvious”.
“That and that Julian Beige is a poser who has about as much artistic talent as the talentless bloke who sang Hey Jude at the Olympic opening ceremony… bloody hell he couldn’t hold a tune in a bucket”
“But Daddy that was Paul McCartney.. He wrote the song”
“Really should of just taken him round the back and shot him … the man killed the song much like the drunk guy at the pub or Madonna when she tries to act. I mean why oh why was she ever allowed to act? she has less talent in her entire body than a Tapeworm has of writing iambic pentameter poetry”
Helen decided that as her father was as mad as hat stand she needed time out and went to her bed room and got her Teddy bear.
“Oh Teddy I need to get out” she sobbed.
“Oh yes you do need to get out “said Teddy
“Oh Pedobear, you always give me such good advice”
“Yes I know although I am an internet Meme, I do have you interests at heart”
“Yes but I wish you would stop going through my underwear all the time and following that actress who was in Lazy Town”
“I could do that still you need to know more about Julian Beige” said the bear.
“Oh what is there to know about him, he is a talented artist with an international reputation” she said.
The bear looked thoughtful in the way that Teddy’s do and said.
“Actually he is a piss poor artist whose only talent is to shock through explicit sexual material … mmm he is a man after my own heart. Though he does not have a restraining order about being within 500 meters of a school”
“Oh thank you Teddy” said Helen.
“Still you need to study what he is like so I have got some books”
Helen picked up the books and studied them; they gave her many valuable ideas and a new way on how to use a cucumber without her father wondering why she was always running away with the packs of hotdogs.
“Now I am going to see if I can find a country that has no age of consent” said the bear.
“Oh dear Teddy your tail has popped out” said Helen
“Well if you kiss it better it’ll go back in” said the bear in a way that would disturb most people.
“No the last time I did that it spat at me” She said indignantly
“Oh dear I shall have to think of a naked Anne Robinson” thought the bear as he hobbled off like a weird three legged tripod.
The Next day Helen had ordered the goods she need for her job, she knew that she would be the best muse for Julian as she decided to undress herself and try out the double dildo, she managed to slip it in and it felt good, though the feeldo was a bit more interesting. Though she was quietly finding more and more about Julian Beige, she just wished that her parents didn’t bring their friend Mr Lovepump the Belgian Scout master and Madam Bitchqueen the flamenco dancing instructor. She looked forward to being his latest muse, now all she needed to do was research Mars Bar parties and she knew he would conquered, that and she looked great in leather as she looked down at her pert nipples as they poked out of the Basque she decided to pluck the stray pubic hairs, then she changed her mind. She smiled a knowing smile as she slipped the dildo into her tight pussy slowly building up and she wonder if she should try her ass next.
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