Honey
- 3 years ago
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Hi, Honey free porn video
Hi Honey!
Copyright 2003 by Lorena Mae
Hi Honey!
It?s so good to hear from you! I just don?t hear from
any of the old gang -- my life is so different now.
The thought of even being in that tranny support
group has just sort of vanished.
You asked me some questions about my life now, about
what it?s like since the change. Those are two
different questions, you know. I?ve done a lot of
growing in the past few years, and that?s where the
biggest shifts happened. Who I was after the change
isn?t who I am now. Maturity is a great thing, a
great, great thing, and I couldn?t really grow up
until I got to be who I am.
All I can tell you is who I am now. My past, well,
it?s real, but at a distance in a way that I never
could have imagined back then. I mean, a thirteen
year old can imagine being twenty-one, but actually
being twenty-one is so much different than those
imaginings. Do you know what I mean? I don?t think I
could have ever told the person I used to be about
who I am now. I just didn?t have the frame of
reference.
Oh, all this is getting just too heavy. Why don?t I
just answer your questions?
--What?s the best change?
Hips. Having a great ass is just fabulous. It makes
me feel centered in my sexuality, and it makes the
guys hot. Boobs may catch their attention, but great
hips are what keep it. When I?m dancing close with a
guy, and their hand slides down to my ass, I love it,
just love it. And when we are in bed and I pivot on
that butt, opening deeper to them, it can just blow
my mind, take me below my mind to very hot places.
Add to that how a great ass (and the waist to go with
it, of course) makes clothes look, and it?s really
fun, I can even cross my legs easier now, not just
because my legs are slimmer but because my hips are
wider. You can learn a lot from "Basic Instinct",
trust me.
I mean it, honey. So much of my womanhood is centered
in my hips. Get me on the dance floor at the Latin
club in a great sheath skirt and heels, and I
wouldn?t care if any guys were interested or not.
Just release! (Of course, they are interested, and
plenty. It turns out that the more wild and
uninhibited you look the more guys get hot, but I bet
you already know that.)
--What don?t you miss?
I don?t miss my penis, not at all. I mean, why --
there is always one at hand when you need one! What?s
the joke -- penises are great except for the ugly
lump on the end -- the man! (That?s not really fair.
I love men, I really do. You really can see the point
of men much easier when you are a woman.
Complimentary is good.)
I was never really cocky enough to use my penis all
that well anyway. When you get a penis attached to a
cocky guy, you can have a wonderful night, even if
you wish he?d turn into a frappachino when you are
though.
--What was the hardest thing?
The hardest thing was learning to go all the way. I?m
not talking about having sex here, but about trusting
that the choices worked. I kept thinking that if I
went too far I would look silly, that people would
laugh or tell me to cut it out, and that was really
hard to get over.
To find the center you have to swing the pendulum
wide, to overshoot the mark and come back on it. You
can never find your own center by creeping up on it
from one side.
I went overboard in sexy dress and makeup and guys,
and I am so glad that I did, because now I have a
much wider range of choices, and I know that what
works best for me is much more sensuous and flirty
that I would have imagined. I even flirt with women
now, not because I want to sleep with them, but
because it's so fun to just focus on your girlfriends
and make them feel great. I know I love it when they
do it to me!
It was only by going all the way that I really could
take the risks and make connections. I had to let go
of the fears and go a little crazy to find a new way
to be sane.
--What do you miss?
I miss having body strength. I mean, I wouldn?t trade
it all for what I have now, but being able to just
bull things around or feel you can physically handle
an attacker was great. It let me walk secure in my
manhood.
Today, though, I am sure I can handle an attacker,
through surprise or though getting help, and it?s
nice to make guys feel better about themselves by
helping me.
--What?s the worst thing?
Maintenance. Hair and nails and exercise and clothes
all take time and effort, and while that can be fun,
it becomes a chore. Rushing into the strip mall for a
quick bikini wax is a chore.
I know how to make taking care of myself a luxury --
a day at a spa, a night in with my robe and my face
in a mask and hair in a towel -- but that is a
rarity. You don?t get a luxurious time to get home
from work and change for a date, but I love work
(selling is so different now) and I love men and
having men interested in me, so I do the work.
And of course, there are a few days every month when
you have to maintain your reproductive in top shape,
and that?s not fun, but it?s nice to know that it
will be there when I find the special man I want to
have my babies with.
--What?s the biggest surprise?
Women compete. There is a much or more of a pecking
order among women than among men, but it?s much more
complicated.
I had to learn to operate in women?s world, which
girls learn from junior high. Who is friends with
whom, whose feelings got hurt, and all that.
It becomes important to communicate with women though
your dress. Women read details a lot more than men
do, so the designer of your scarf can count. Little
changes in outfits make big difference to status and
intent, and when you sell, that?s important stuff.
I was a little taken aback the first time I was
interested in some guy and then a friend set her cap
to steal him away, but now I know that?s one way
women keep score, show their prowess, set their
place. Guys are not just lovers and companions, they
are fashion accessories and badges of honor, too.
All those backstabbing soap operas make much more
sense to me now that I live in the same world that
the actresses do. And they have such great clothes
too, and they are always so polished. . .
Sorry, I was drifting there.
--What?s your biggest peeve?
Well, I hate to tell you this, but its crossdressers.
God, be a man or be a woman, but be good at what you
do. Being a passive aggressive wuss waiting for
someone else to make your fantasies come true is just
icky. You can?t make a man happy if he doesn?t know
who he is & what he wants, and isn?t willing to go &
get it, and you can?t be happy with a man who can?t
be happy.
I tried to assist in the "gender community" after the
change, but it was just too icky. They wanted me to
fix them, but since I went out and found the magic to
fix myself, I knew that they can only fix themselves.
--What delights you?
Orgasms.
Well, orgasms and shoes.
Orgasms are so different, so much a wave and not a
point. They just rock you, and when you have the
smell of some hot guy, you can get lost. Don?t be
wrong, I love my drawer off sex toys, and you really
can create bigger highs with them, but when you have
the high and the guy together, it?s really sweet.
And shoes, well you understand the draw to shoes. Now
that I can fit into, can afford and have a place to
wear fabulous shoes, I really love them. Really.
--Best tip?
Invest in good underwear. Good, high quality
underwear makes you feel better, sexier and classier,
but it also makes all your clothes look better, keeps
your body firmer, and can really make guys hot. It
last longer and wears better, and it?s definitely
worth the investment.
When the body hair is gone and you have all that
skin, the underwear is an important part, right
there, right, with you. Get good underwear. Get used
to it -- you will feel comfortable wearing a thong,
just keep at it.
Good underwear. That?s a good tip. What else?
Dance lessons are good. Learning to move in graceful
ways is so important. I had to know the body, know
what this body could do. Mostly it was aerobics, but
I took some jazz lessons, and even spent a while
taking belly dance. It was fun, even though I punched
my fingers up badly sewing the beads to that bra.
Hair. I can?t tell you how important having good hair
is, for women, for men, for yourself. It is, as your
mother told you, or would have told you if she knew
you were a girl, your crowning glory.
Just stay open, and be ready, and the more you are
with other women, the more tips you will get. It?s
easy.
--What scares you?
Lots of things scare me, but I didn?t get this far by
letting my fear stop me. I really believe that we act
out of fear, building walls, or act out of love,
being open. Giving the call of love is the only way
to make good things happen.
Honey, as a woman, I need to surrender, to let people
in. It?s not just letting men into my body, relaxing
and opening to them to experience delight, its
letting men and other women and children into my
heart. It?s being melty, dropping the defenses, and
acting out of love.
The only way to get love is to give love. The only
way to have people open to you is to open to them.
The only way to have intimacy in your life is to be
intimate.
These are simple lessons, but until I went all the
way, pushed the pendulum all the way out and found my
own center I couldn?t possibly act in a loving, open
and intimate way. My pleasure is very much in giving
pleasure, but until I could receive pleasure, be in
my own love, my own Eros, there is no way I could be
in the love of others.
You ask what I fear. I fear that I will crust up and
start living from fear again, like those
crossdressers I see. I fear that my heart will be
broken one too many times and I will close it off,
and that will close me off from the love in the
world. I have to be smart, sure, but not at the cost
of losing the feminine power it was so hard for me to
find.
I?m a woman, I?m a goddess, and that means that
acting from the girl god space is the only way I can
honor my creator. I can?t get all tough and distant
or I lose connection with my most important thing, my
own heart and its delights.
I fear sometimes I will lose that open expression of
an open heart. I lived so long without it that the
memories still haunt me, being shamed into acting
against my nature, locking myself up in a tiny closet
all alone because being exposed meant being shamed.
That?s what I fear. And that?s what I work everyday
to move beyond. Sometimes I just go up and kiss
someone who looks like they need it as a gift to
myself, as a reminder that I once was someone who
needed a kiss and now am someone who can give kisses
with a smile and an open heart. Amen for that.
I fear losing the open heart it took me so long to
find. But I know that the way I lose it is to act
from fear rather than love, so when that fear comes
up, I just go out of my way to love, and you know, it
seems to help.
Gosh, I don?t know if you will understand any of
that, but trust me honey, it's very true for me.
--What would you like people who are like you
were to know?
I would like you to know that you have the magic
inside of you. You can leave your current rut and
write yourself a new story.
I would like you to know how many people are on your
side. That?s something I never could have believed
when I was out there alone, but it is true. People
want you to be successful and happy, because your
success is a gift to the world. The more people who
follow their hearts and who make their lives their
own, the more others can be supported in their path
to make their life their own. Your success really is
a gift to the world. I would be a gift to me to know
that your love is acting in the world, rather than
your fear.
Mark Twain said that you should be around great
people because they make you feel great and feel
capable of great things. Successful people have faith
in success, in their success and in yours, and they
know that a rising tide lifts all boats.
Trust the magic in your heart, honey. Trust it even
when the world says it is a lie, and I know that
since you were very little the world has told you
that what you knew about your heart is a lie. But you
still know it, that knowledge still exists.
I want you to know it?s never too late to blossom, to
offer your beauty to the world, to open like a big
old Georgia O? Keefe flower to all the wonderful
things that can enter you and move your heart to
higher places.
Never stop striving for beauty, because beauty really
can be magic. I?m not talking about fashion or
fetish, I?m talking about beauty. They always had
those parts in beauty books talking about cultivating
an inner beauty, and I?d skip over that and get right
to the makeup tips, but now I see the light.
Please, please, trust in that magic I see in your
heart. Trust that other people will see it too, if
you open to them.
That?s what I want to say. Follow the love in your
heart, even the love of shoes, but all the love, not
just the sexy bits. Love flowers and people and jokes
and chocolate and everything will stay in balance and
grow, not like when you love jerking off but hate
being really touched.
When you are more fully centered in yourself you are
a gift to the world, even a gift to those who wanted
to keep you in a pigeon hole for their use. Open
their hearts by opening yours, help them to grow more
balanced by taking away some of their props.
Sing the song God taught you, honey. Sing out loud,
sing out strong. Don?t worry that it?s not good
enough for anyone else to hear, just sing, sing a
song. (and thanks to Brian Mc Naught and Joe Rapposo
for those words.)
Is this enough? Is this what you wanted?
Well, I suppose it?s what you are going to get. You
can publish any of this you want, but please, keep my
new name out off it. I have other things to do than
deal with people who want me to heal them.
But you, you can call anytime. And come to visit, eh?
Maybe I can help your heart bloom a little bit too.
Love you, love you.
Smooch!
Tamera
- 06.08.2021
- 17
- 0
