Elizabeth Grey - Parts 9 And 10: Slump, Girl, Slump free porn video

Elizabeth Grey - Part 09: Slump girl, slump! By Carmenica Diaz My mind was going around and around - should I remain as Liz or should I return to Allan? I'm not a brave person and I don't like hurting people - maybe it was best if Liz quietly disappeared and I stopped being selfish. I didn't know whether it was the plane flight or something else, but one moment I was raging hot and then cool again with goose bumps. I hope, I thought, I'm not getting the 'flu. 'You were quiet on the plane, Liz,' Angela said as we stood waiting to board the bus to take us across the border to East Berlin. 'I have a lot on my mind, that's all,' I said moodily. Angela opened her mouth but Max called out for everyone to board the bus. Cleo and Mandy were keeping a running banter going the entire trip and I wondered how they did it. They'd been joking and laughing since we boarded the plane and they were still at it on the bus. Melissa was sitting with them, laughing at their comments but wasn't contributing. Toby was looking nervous as we approached the checkpoint and I wondered if I should feel nervous as well. I glanced at Angela and she appeared outwardly calm but her fingers were drumming softly on the armrest. An East German guard clambered on, went through the papers, examined our passports and basically kept us sitting in the bus for almost an hour. The mood seeped over all of us except Cleo and Mandy who kept joking and making comments about the guards who watched the bus. Then a woman and a man in civilian clothes climbed on spoke to Toby in German and the driver started the bus. Remembering that Angela had said she spoke German, I asked, 'what did they say, Angie?' 'They're our minders, I expect we'll see rather a lot of them.' Toby sat down the front with Heather and Max while the two East Germans walked down the aisle. The man grinned when he approached and said something to the woman who scowled at him. Angela sat bolt upright and rattled something at German at the man who appeared dumfounded while the woman laughed. 'What happened?' 'That beast said you were like a movie star and he would enjoy an hour or two with you,' Angela explained, face still angry, 'so I told him it would be helpful if he kept his rude remarks to himself.' I squeezed her arm. 'Thanks Angie,' I said softly. The East German woman stopped in front of our seat, steadied herself as the bus drove through. 'Good afternoon,' she said, smiling, 'I am Karla.' 'I'm Angela and this is my friend, Elizabeth.' The woman steaded herself again as the bus picked up speed and then examined a list. 'You are the secretary?' 'Something like that,' Angela said, face flushing slightly. 'And you play piano?' I nodded and she smiled, leaning down to Angela. 'I enjoyed your comment, thank you.' Soon we were walking onto a dull looking Soviet plane and I sank back in the hard seat as the plane took off for Prague. 'I'll be glad of a decent sleep,' I murmured. 'Are we sharing, Angie?' Angela laughed. 'No, I put you in with Barbara.' 'Don't even joke about that, Angie.' 'Yes, we're sharing. Why don't you close your eyes and I'll wake you when we land.' The hotel was, in a word, quaint. It was also rundown and very shabby in places but as I looked out onto the river with its bridges, I felt the first flicker of excitement. We prepared for bed immediately. The hormones had been exhausted a day or two before we left so there was no need to think of a way to smuggle them in. It's probably better anyway, I miserably told myself, time to start planning to return to what I was before. Heather knocked on the door, reminded us we would be taken by Karla and her unnamed companion on a tour of the city and then, after lunch, to the concert hall to set up. 'Bring your gowns and accessories as we won't be coming back to the hotel until after the performance. Goodnight.' 'Goodnight, Heather,' we chorused. 'Now that was like the headmistress visiting the dormitory,' I muttered after the door shut, putting my glasses on the bedside table as I had removed my contacts. 'Probably making sure we're all in our own beds.' Angela sat up, propped herself on one elbow and looked over. 'What's up, Liz?' she asked quietly. 'You've been like a bear with a sore head since we left.' 'I don't know,' I said, rolling over to stare at the wall. 'Goodnight, Angie.' After a moment, Angela switched off the light. I did know, I knew these next few nights would probably be the last on earth for Elizabeth Grey. It would be impossible for me to hurt Mum, I just couldn't and that meant that I had to resurrect Allan and Elizabeth Grey had to vanish before Mum or Edward knew. On top of that, I thought I was coming down with the 'flu. A lonely tear slowly crawled down my cheek and I squashed my face into the pillow. In spite of myself, I found the tour of Prague fascinating and after a plain lunch by the river, we walked into the concert hall. 'This is very interesting,' Toby said, looking around at the ornate building. 'Interesting? It's bloody huge!' Cleo said. 'They'll never fill this with punters, will they?' 'Apparently,' Toby said proudly, 'it's a full house.' 'They force them to come,' Barbara said icily. 'They round them up at gun point and bring them in!' 'Hark at Miss Know-It-All again,' Mandy said as she walked past. Barbara scowled at her and then said, 'it's true, and it's a well known fact.' 'Actually,' Toby said gently, 'there has been a queue for the tickets, they don't get much jazz here.' Melissa laughed. 'Are we really a jazz band or a show band? Where is Heather, anyway?' Angela suddenly appeared at the door, almost stumbling in her haste and she had Karla with her. 'Toby,' she said breathlessly, 'Heather's collapsed!' 'What!' 'Gerhard has taken Heather to the hospital,' Karla soothed. 'Max is with her, she is unconscious but I am sure she'll be well.' 'Looks like the tour is dead before it started,' Barbara said and I wondered why she seemed happy about it. 'No,' Karla said aghast, 'the tour must proceed, there must be a way.' 'Not with me,' Barbara said, 'I'm sick of all this, I want to go back home,' she said, looking at Toby, 'this has been a disaster from the start. If the government hadn't approached Heather, the All-Stars would have disbanded after the last tour. Let's call it off.' 'There won't be any decisions like that at this time,' Toby said firmly. 'You can't make us play,' Barbara snapped and walked off with Jenny. 'Angela,' Toby said, 'you and I will go to the hospital. Karla can you escort those,' he said looking over at the others, 'who want to go back to the hotel?' 'Of course.' 'I think I'll stay here, if you don't mind,' I said and everyone looked at me. 'I might as well wait here, at least it's warm. Is there a problem?' 'Not at all Elizabeth,' Karla said quickly. 'I'll stay as well,' Cleo said. 'Liz will need the company and I might as well set my drums up.' 'I 'll stay too,' Mandy said. 'Me too,' Melissa chimed in and I smiled gratefully at them. 'Thanks, I just don't feel like going back to that hotel.' 'That's ok,' Cleo said with a smile, 'we all get moody.' The others left and I sat down in the front row while Mandy and Melissa helped Cleo set up her drum kit. Soon Mandy was plugged in and they were lightly jamming with Melissa on clarinet. 'At least I can say I played in Prague,' Mel joked. 'Come on, Liz,' Mandy called out, 'at least see if the piano is in tune.' 'What for,' I grumped. 'Get up here, young lady,' Cleo called out with a grin. Sighing, I walked onto the stage, sat down and opened the piano. After playing a few notes,' I announced, 'it's in tune.' Then, as if my fingers had a mind of their own, I started softly playing the progression from 'Take Five', the Paul Desmond classic played by Dave Brubeck. Cleo came in with the snare and brushes. The groove was good and Mandy, nodding, played a bass run on her guitar, weaving it together. 'Hey, Mel,' Cleo called out, 'do you know it?' 'Know it?' Melissa replied with a cheeky grin, 'I blow it!' With a flourish, she brought the clarinet to her lips and soon the concert hall was ringing with 'Take Five'. It was good, so good that I let my head fall back and I laughed. We were all grinning wildly, nodding and calling out and we played for ages as if we just didn't want to stop. The clarinet was great, better than a saxophone in my opinion and we explored many different approaches. We even had a guitar solo from Mandy in 'Take Five', believe it or not! We came together in the finish and leapt up to hug each other and then we heard clapping from the end of the hall. It was Toby, Angela and Karla. 'That was smashing!' Toby said as they clambered onto the stage. 'How's Heather?' I ask quietly and immediately Toby became sober. 'She's not good, I'm afraid. We've arranged for her to be flown immediately back to London. Max is going with her of course but so are the others.' 'Why?' I asked. 'I suspect Barbara is behind it, apparently, she never wanted to come,' Toby said, 'but was forced by Heather because of her contract. This is her way out, I'm afraid and she's taken the others with her.' 'Good riddance,' Melissa murmured and Cleo smiled at her. 'What will happen with the performance?' Karla asked, worried. 'We have officials coming from many places and it would not be good for relations between...' 'I understand that, Karla, thank you very much,' Toby said sharply. 'I think,' he said seriously to us, 'it's up to you four.' 'Us?' Melissa stared at him. 'How?' 'You seemed to be doing very well a minute ago,' Toby pointed out. 'I can't see us playing 'Take Five' all night, Toby,' Mandy said patiently. 'We need a vocalist.' 'There is a singer amongst you?' Karla asked hopefully. 'Not me,' Cleo said emphatically and Melissa shook her head sadly. 'Mandy?' Toby asked hopefully. 'I sing back up vocals but I'm not strong enough to carry a whole song, let alone a whole performance.' 'It has to be you, Liz,' Angela said firmly and I sighed. 'I can't...' 'Yes you can!' 'Liz can sing?' Toby jumped in. 'Yes and she's bloody good! Liz sang and played at Bellini's the other night and had the audience eating out of her hand.' 'That was a private party,' I protested, 'this is a little bit different, Angie...' 'Liz,' Cleo asked quietly, 'can you sing?' Mandy, Melissa and the others waited for my answer. 'I suppose but,' I said loudly as they began smiling, 'I have a different voice, it's not like Heathers...' 'I don't see a problem with that,' Mandy said with a wink. '...and I just can't do all those numbers in such a high key...' 'We can fix that,' Mandy said, 'can't we girls?' 'I don't know if I can sing...' I wailed as the others waited. 'Let's find out. We've got time,' Cleo said, moving the microphone to the piano and adjusting it so it pointed over the keyboards to where I would be sitting. 'Let's try a number and then we'll decide, ok?' 'Good idea, what number?' Mandy asked 'Do that Billie Holiday song, Liz,' Angela called out. 'I could just kill you, Angie,' I hissed but she ignored me. 'Which one?' Mandy called and Angela told her. 'That's a good choice, basically just piano and a little snare. Do it, Liz.' Reluctantly, I took my leather coat off and sat down in just my jeans and turtleneck. I looked down at Toby, Angie and Karla seated in the front row, their expectant and hopeful eyes focussed on me. Melissa stood to one side with her clarinet cradled in her hands, Mandy sat, her guitar in her lap, watching while Cleo waited for me. I sighed, hung my head and stared at the keys. Could I do it or would I let everyone down? It suddenly occurred to me that if the tour didn't proceed, Angela's plan was kaput! What would happen to Edward? It was no choice. I took a deep breath and sang while my fingers caressed the keys. "Autumn in New York Why does it seem so inviting Autumn in New York It spells the thrill of first-nighting..." Cleo joined in, using her snares lightly, filling the small gaps of the piano and supporting. I kept my eyes shut, I had no need of the sheet music, I knew the notes and the lyrics and I wanted to immerse myself within the words, within the music. Strangely, I felt calmness fill me and the song became alive, something I could see behind my closed eyes, something I could taste with each word. All too quickly, it ended and I opened my eyes. Cleo gave me a thumbs up with one hand, twirling a drumstick with the other, Mandy and Melissa's mouths were open and Toby, Karla and Angela were applauding madly. 'What did I tell you?' Angela said happily. Cleo came over, pulled me up and hugged me. 'You've been keeping secrets from us, Liz,' she murmured. If only she knew, I thought wildly. Mandy and Melissa gathered around me. 'Liz,' Melissa said softly, 'that was real jazz. It was fantastic.' 'Look,' I said, lowering my eyes, 'I don't really know...' Mandy turned around to Toby and the others. 'Can you give us a little time to work out a song list?' 'Of course,' Toby said and he bustled Angela and Karla out. 'Liz, we don't have a choice,' Mandy said firmly, 'so we have to do it but I've played jazz a while and been listening to it all my life and you have a voice that could be one of the greats. It's husky and sensuous and, yes, no top high notes but who cares? There's million girls with sweet girlish voices, yours sounds like a woman of experience, like you've smoked too much, drank to much and fallen in and out of love many times and know what a broken heart is.' 'Mandy,' I said, gaping, 'I don't think...' 'I know, Liz! Believe me, you have a great voice and your phrasing was brilliant. Don't you think, Mel?' Melissa nodded. 'Every word was clear but emotional, you gave me goose bumps, Liz!' 'I can't sing the set Heather sings though...' 'Exactly, Liz,' Cleo said. 'You pick the songs and we'll play it, ok?' 'Ok,' I said slowly. 'Guess we'll have to do 'Take Five', won't we?' Melissa laughed. 'Of course; how about we close the show with that?' 'Done,' Mandy called. 'That's one,' Cleo said. 'Autumn in New York' is another. What others?' 'I've Got You Under My Skin?' 'Great. Sit down and play a bit so we know,' Mandy said, gently propelling me back to the piano. And so we worked through a list that would give us ninety minutes performance. We cheated a little, deciding to extend some performances to make them longer to chew up the time. We also agreed that every person would contribute solos where they could and that we would all follow. It was plain to see they were becoming excited about the whole thing and, I suppose, if I admitted it, so was I. When I timidly suggested the Carole King combination, Mandy beamed. 'This is exciting, isn't it?' she said and the others nodded. 'You think so?' I moaned and they laughed. I was surprised to hear that Melissa could also play the tenor sax so we sent her to ask Karla if she could borrow one. Toby and Angel returned with Karla and then a minute later, Melissa with a saxophone case. 'Well,' Mandy said, 'we have a list, we have enough to give them ninety minutes.' Karla sighed with relief. 'I am glad, it would have been a disaster.' 'How will we explain it?' Toby asked. Karla shrugged. 'The audience are here to listen to jazz and I don't think they will care. I will ask that an announcement to be made that instead of the Heather James All-Stars we have... what name?' 'How about Elizabeth Grey All-Stars?' Angela suggested. 'No!' I almost shouted and they looked at me in alarm. 'Sorry,' I said, embarrassed, 'I'm a little nervous.' As I had decided that Elizabeth Grey would vanish at the end of this, I didn't want the name publicised. 'We do need a name,' Toby pointed out, 'and we'll have an audience filling the theatre in an hour, it would be nice to tell them whom they're listening to.' We looked blankly at each other until Melissa said quietly, 'I have an idea. How about Femme Fatale?' We giggled and Cleo nodded. 'I love it, Mel.' 'So do I,' Mandy said, 'good idea, Mel.' They looked at me and I smiled. 'I think it's great too.' 'And now, Angela said pointedly, 'I think you should all get dressed?' 'Yes,' Karla said excitedly, 'the dressing room is around there.' Dressing room! How would I get dressed with the others? I had mistakenly thought we would have separate dressing rooms. What had I been thinking? 'I've found a room to press your dress, Liz,' Angela said straight faced. 'It's a small room next to the dressing room.' I felt a surge of relief. Good old Angie, thinks of everything. 'Thanks, Angie,' I said with a sad smile. Dressed I walked into the dressing room where the others were dressed and lounging around. Cleo took one look at me and groaned, 'oh no.' 'What?' I asked, worried. 'Listen, Liz,' Mandy said seriously, 'there's one thing you have to do for us out there.' I looked at their serious faces and my heart pounded. 'What?' I asked in a small voice. 'Slump,' they all shouted, big grins on their faces, 'slump girl, slump!' 'You saucy cows! You had me going for a minute,' I said, smiling in relief. 'You look smashing, Liz,' Mel said and the others nodded. 'So do you, so do you all.' 'Yes,' Cleo grinned, 'we do, don't we.' We laughed and then Mandy spoke and we drew close. 'We're in this together,' she said seriously and we all nodded. 'Let's support each other especially helping Liz, no prima donnas and let's give the audience a show they'll never bloody forget.' 'Absolutely,' Cleo said. And then we drew close and hugged. That was how Angela found us and she waited until we broke apart. 'Is Femme Fatale ready?' she asked. 'I think the audience is.' 'I think so,' I said slowly. The audience greeted us with polite applause as we walked onto the stage and nervously we took our places. Mel stood near her microphone and ran her fingers over the saxophone and smiled at me while Cleo rattled her drum set a few times in nervousness. I adjusted the microphone and looked over at Mandy who was also adjusting hers. We had agreed that Mandy would sing back up where she could and also make some announcements. She plucked the strings of her guitar and smiled at the audience. 'Good evening, Prague, we're Femme Fatale.' There was no reaction and Cleo counted us in and we began with 'Summertime.' We had decided to play the entire piece as an instrumental with the saxophone playing the voice part until the end when we would go to a guitar bridge with soft drums until the piano took over and we would play it again but this time, with vocals, the sax returning for a bridge and the end. Mandy gave me an encouraging glance and I leaned to the microphone as I played. "Summertime an' the living is easy Fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high..." I couldn't look at the audience, got lost in the words and I knew we were sounding good. No, correction, we were hot! Mel's sax jumped in and Cleo did a little thing on the rim and I grinned at her as I added a twirl until we came together for the end with a flourish. There was silence and then the audience erupted into applause and I allowed myself to look out at them. They were grinning and I saw Karla seated next to some big man in a dark suit in the front row and she was applauding madly. Cleo tapped the rim and counted us in and the applause died as we slipped into 'I've got you under my skin'. The applause rocked the old building at the conclusion of that and Mandy gestured at my microphone. I smiled at the audience. 'Thank you so much, it's very nice to be here in your wonderful city. We are Femme Fatale, Mandy Macklin on guitar...' Some people could understand me because there was applause and it continued as I introduced the band. '...Melissa Ramsay on clarinet and saxophone, Cleo Rosser on drums and I'm Elizabeth Grey.' I waited for the applause to die and then said, 'this is a favourite of ours from a lady we admire, Billie Holiday.' We performed 'Autumn in New York' and after the enthusiastic applause rolled straight into a full version of 'Rhapsody in Blue'. I was nervous about the Carole King combination but some were even standing when they applauded at the end. 'Thank you Prague,' Mandy called out and introduced Mel, Cleo and herself again to thunderous applause. 'And our pianist and vocalist, Elizabeth Grey. Stand up Liz,' she called and I dashed her a look but smiled and stood. The audience also stood, applauding madly and I felt myself flush. Sitting down quickly, I nodded to Mandy. 'We're going to leave you with an old favourite, in fact this is the first piece that Femme Fatale ever played together. 'It's called 'Take Five'. We made it last for almost twenty minutes and the audience loved it as they applauded madly at every solo, every small extravagance and when we returned, full bodied to the theme at the end, the applause was still flickering around the concert hall. The four of us held hands as we stepped forward to bow and the audience leapt to their feet. A man came onto the stage and spoke into the microphone and whatever he said, generated more applause. Angela was excited as we all freshened up in the dressing room. 'You lot were bloody brilliant,' she kept saying. 'Leave it out, Angela,' Cleo said with a grin, 'we stop believing you after you say it a million times!' 'But you were!' There was a knock on the door and Karla poked her head in, nodded and Toby followed. 'I think,' he said, 'that Femme Fatale was more of a success than the All-Stars would have ever been.' 'I agree,' Mandy said cheekily and we laughed. 'There are refreshments and officials to meet, I'm afraid.' 'If you mean a girl can get a drink, Toby,' Mandy smiled, 'lead on.' I was polite and smiling, the officials seemed to cluster around me, so much so that Cleo whispered in my ear as she slid past to get a drink, 'you're not slumping!' She smiled and wriggled her eyebrows as she took a glass from a waiter. Finally, we were free. 'I assume,' Toby said quietly, 'that you'll perform the other two concerts?' We looked at each other and nodded. 'Yes, of course,' Melissa said. 'Excellent. We take the train at lunchtime...' 'I'll make sure you can all have a little lie in,' Angela said and we smiled gratefully. As I lay in the darkness in my bed, remembering the night, the applause and the closeness we felt as we played together, I wondered how I was going to leave this and Elizabeth Grey behind. You have no choice, I told myself as I rolled over, you don't! Part 10: Just what are you going to do? I loved travelling by train, it has a special feeling about it and this train was so old-worldly. The compartment we were in was panelled with timber and had wonderful leather seats and the luggage racks above our heads were rather ornate. I turned away from the train window. 'I'm sorry, Mandy, what did you say?' 'I said penny for your thoughts, Liz, you're very quiet.' 'Like a grave,' volunteered Mel. That's because Elizabeth Grey is going to vanish, to die! I tried to smile. 'I just have a few things on my mind.' 'Want to talk about it?' Cleo asked softly and Angela immediately looked at me, alarmed and for a minute, I thought she was going to shake her head but she didn't. 'No,' I said, 'thanks all the same but it's just one of those things...' 'I say sod them,' Cleo said firmly, putting the notepad that she'd been writing song suggestions in down with a defiant slap. 'Sorry?' 'Men, sod them! That's you're problem, isn't it? Usually is,' she added and the others nodded. 'No offence, Toby,' she added after a moment. 'None taken,' Toby said, his quiet eyes watching me intently. 'Sorry Toby,' Mel said cheerfully, 'being the only man, you're rather the scapegoat.' 'I will accept my role manfully,' he said and we all smiled at his quick wit. I suppose it was about a man, a man called Allan Stratton, I thought sadly and turned back to the window, watching the countryside roll past on our way to Budapest. We had one compartment and I had drifted away while the others were talking about what additional songs we should include in the performance. 'I think you'll be invited back,' Karla suddenly announced. 'It was a great success last night.' 'We haven't made a decision whether we'll keep together,' Cleo said evenly, watching me. 'Right, Liz?' 'That's right,' I said softly. Cleo in her straightforward way and taken me aside and asked if I had thought about keeping the band together. 'Without you, Liz, we're not special. When you're there singing and playing, it somehow connects us all, we become special. Will you think about it? I nodded. 'Of course,' I said but how could I? I had to do what was right, what was expected of me, didn't I? I dabbed my clammy forehead with a handkerchief and tried to convince myself. The hotel was a little better than the Prague one but not much better. Angela and I shared a room even though we had spare rooms since the others weren't with us. Toby suggested we all have dinner together, have an early night ready for the obligatory tour of the city and then the performance. 'I think I'll turn in,' I said, begging off from dinner, 'I don't feel hungry.' Toby took my elbow and steered me gently away from the others. 'Elizabeth, are you ok? Do you need a doctor?' 'No, I'm perfectly fine, thank you for asking. I'm just a little tired.' 'Liz,' Toby said softly, 'I hope you're not forcing yourself, making yourself ill or something for this performance? You're much more important than that...' I was touched and smiled. 'What about the Foreign Office?' I teased. 'Sod the F.O. and,' he added for good measure, 'sod Maggie Thatcher!' Angela ran after me. 'Liz, are you all right?' 'Yes,' I said. 'You don't look all right and you certainly don't act it. 'I just wish I could be left alone!' I snapped and Angela took a step backwards. 'Oh,' she said, 'well... alright then.' I was lying in my bed in darkness when Angela came in and switched the small light on. And sat down firmly on the chair near my bed, arms folded. 'Liz, I know you're not asleep.' 'Angie...' 'I'm not moving, Liz!' 'Go away!' 'Liz! I'm your friend. Tell me what on earth is going on!' 'I can't,' I said, my voice muffled by the pillow. 'Are you sick? Is it something to do with the... you know...' 'No, not at all. I'm just tired all the time.' Sighing, I turned around. 'Angie, Liz is vanishing when I return, she can't remain...' 'Why ever not! I thought you were happy as Liz...' 'I am,' I said, bursting into tears. 'I don't understand...' 'My mother... Edward... they wouldn't understand, it would hurt them and I couldn't do that.' 'Liz,' Angela said softly, 'if it's right for you, they'll understand.' I didn't reply, what was the point and Edward's words from so long ago whispered silently in my memory - Why don't you stop complaining and be a man for once! 'What's right for me isn't right for everyone else,' I whispered and I could see Angela was shocked at that. 'Oh,' was all she said. Suddenly there was a tap on the door and Karla called, 'Angela? Are you there? There has been a telephone call for you.' Angela pulled the door open. 'Who from?' 'Your brother Sean?' Karla said suspiciously and I sat up, trying to listen. 'My brother?' 'There is something with your mother?' 'My mother! Oh no, where's the telephone?' Karla led her away and I lay back down in my bed and waited. When Angela slipped back in, I sat up immediately. 'Angie, is everything all right? Is your mother...' 'My mother,' Angela whispered, sitting on the side of my bed, 'died when I was eight. And I don't have a brother. That was Sean!' Angela was excited and very happy. 'He says the negotiations have been concluded and Edward will be swapped next week!' 'Next week?' I felt a huge wave of relief and I fell back in the bed. Angela chattered on but all I could think was two more performances and I can go home, leave Liz Grey behind and return to normal. It's what I had to do, I told myself, wasn't it?' Of course it was but why did I feel so dark and sad? The Budapest concert was a resounding success and Karla and Toby were over the moon. The only difference from the Prague concert was that we had decided to wear black, to leave the silly colours behind as Cleo put it. She didn't have to persuade us. At the official function afterwards, I endured a steady stream of admirers and tried to make sense of what they were saying. We stood still for photographs and then, finally, we slipped away to the hotel. We flew to East Berlin, apparently we were now seen as a success and strings were pulled to get us on a plane instead of the train. The hotel was a little better and Toby called us together to make an announcement. 'An invitation has been extended to Femme Fatale,' he said grandly, 'to give one performance in West Berlin. I'm hopeful you'll say yes.' Mel, Mandy and Cleo immediately looked at me and I knew they wanted to do it. 'When?' I asked. 'The day after tomorrow.' I nodded. 'All right, let's do it if you want to?' I asked the others. 'I think we want to,' Cleo said with a grin. The East Berlin performance was the best so far. The four of us now knew each other's style and capabilities, we constantly challenged each other and produced a fantastic show. The audience applauded madly as we stood hand in hand, taking our bow. We hugged each other as we ran off stage and Karla surprised us by hugging each of us in turn. 'It has been a pleasure,' she said, 'to see you work and play for us, a real pleasure.' Solemnly, she shook Toby's hand and I watched her walk off. 'Any word from your brother?' I asked Angela as we escaped the official function and she shook her head. The journey back into West Germany was uneventful. Karla gave us a small gift and a photograph was taken with her as well as Toby and Angela. 'This audience,' Mandy said with a worried expression, 'is going to be full of Brits and Americans - they know jazz.' 'So?' Cleo asked. 'Well, should we do anything extra?' 'Like what?' Mel asked. 'I think we just work harder,' I said in a tired voice. They all looked at me closely especially Cleo who said in a very quiet voice, 'we are becoming very worried about you, Liz, you've changed so much.' I smiled weakly. 'I'm just tired, that's all and I am a little ill... you know how it is.' 'Of course,' Mandy said, 'but for a week and a half?' As the final notes of 'Take Five' hung in the air, the audience leapt to their feet, applauding wildly and calling out, whistling and we beamed at each other as we bowed. 'They're calling for more,' Mel said excitedly as we rushed off. 'Pity we don't have anything else,' Cleo said sadly. 'Come on, think,' Mandy demanded, 'what else can we do?' 'Let's do 'Stormy Weather', at least we know it,' I suggested softly. Cleo examined me. 'Could suit your mood, Liz,' she said dryly. 'We'll extend it a little?' she looked at the others. The audience had been stamping their feet and cheered when we walked back out and took our places. Cleo counted us in and I played the introduction and nodded to Mandy who played a simple solo and then Mel drifted over the top with her haunting clarinet. Then, eyes closed, feeling very melancholy, I leaned to the microphone. "Don't know why There's no sun up in the sky Stormy weather, since my man and I ain't together Keeps rainin' all of the time..." I almost felt like crying and I poured my soul, all my regrets for the life I could have had into the words. When I played the last notes, a small silence hung over the hall and then thunderous applause washed over us. Cleo was open mouthed; staring at me and I quickly smiled softly at her and stood up. As we took each other's hand for the last time, Mel whispered, 'Liz, you gave me shivers, I almost cried.' At the function, Angela suddenly appeared with a tall man in a dark suit and said, 'Liz, this is a friend of mine, Sean.' I nearly dropped my glass but managed to smile and he smiled back, a big lopsided grin and his eyes sparkled. 'Hello,' he said in a deep voice, 'I simply had to congratulate you on your superb performance. I had to force myself to come, to see what Angela was up to but it was wonderful, simply wonderful.' 'Thank you so much,' I said softly, glancing at Angela who shook her head slightly, meaning he didn't know that I knew. 'I couldn't take my eyes off you,' Sean suddenly said, his face flushing. 'I'm glad you enjoyed it,' I said, suddenly flustered. Angela smiled and, taking Sean's arm, whisked him away. I was looking around for a drink when Mandy suddenly took my left elbow, Cleo my right and they steered me into a room with Mel hot on our heels. 'Liz,' Mandy said and I guessed she was the spokesperson, 'we've guessed you've got something big on your mind and we don't want to pressure you at all but...' 'Could you at least think about us keeping Femme Fatale going?' Mel rushed in. 'I don't think I can,' I said miserably, eyes filling. 'I'd love to but...' 'You got another gig or something?' Cleo, always the blunt one, demanded and I shook my head. 'Then what?' 'We thought we were friends, Liz,' Mandy said softly, 'we get on and we play well together. Do you know how rare that is in a band? I think we should get a reason at least...' I nodded and I knew tears were rolling down my cheeks. 'I know, I will treasure what we've done, I'll always remember it but... Liz Grey is retiring.' Stunned, they gaped at me until Mandy asked wisely, 'are you ok, Liz? I mean is it medical, are you ill? You've been looking ill these past days.' I nodded but didn't explain, I mean it was medical a bit, wasn't it? I didn't really lie to these three people who had become dearest friends? The fact was I was feverish most of the time and chilly the other times and, of course, so tired, so very tired. Suddenly, I felt them move around me enclosing me in a hug and I began openly crying, sobbing really and I felt Mandy's hands stroking my hair. They didn't say anything, just held me and comforted me as I cried and cried. All the emotions came pouring out in a rush and my sobbing became animalistic, guttural as I ached and cried. Finally, when I stopped, they let me go and I smiled weakly as I wiped my ears. 'I must look a mess,' I croaked and they smiled. 'Thanks,' I said and blinked. Mandy held my hands and looked deep into my eyes. 'Liz Grey, you are the best vocalist I have ever heard and a great piano player, when you get better and I mean when, you call me and I'll drop everything to play with you again.' What could I say to that? She kissed my cheeks, smiled and walked to the door. 'Same for me, Liz,' Cleo said solemnly, kissed my cheeks and left. Mel was crying and she hugged me once more. 'They've already said it, Liz,' she murmured. 'Get better, please?' I tried to nod and they were gone, three people who a short time ago had been strangers and were now close friends, friends I was losing forever because of my decision. I sighed and sat down, kicking my shoes off so hard they rattled against the posh credenza. 'Liz Grey,' I asked myself softly, 'just what are you going to do?