Cat and Mouse: Nine Interesting Vignettes and Two New Quests
By
Bluto
WEEK 13
"The Bronx Zoo, boy, it's been a long time since I visited here, I still
remember when all da animals was in cages.? What did you say the purpose
of dis expedition was again?"
Tony Bass wasn't exactly a nature lover, but when Cat, Lupe and Micki told
him they were going to visit "The World's Greatest Zoo" he eagerly joined
the excursion.? With no more baby-sitting duties, he had abundant time on
his hands.? And, strange as it seemed when he thought about it, he was
forming a true bond with his three companions, a development that would
have been unthinkable only a year ago.? God, he thought, was this another
"female" thing?
They had all crowded into Micki's somewhat battered (from being dropped on
EXO2 during the epic battle in East Harlem) PT Cruiser and headed to the
NYC landmark.? After parking in the Asian lot, they took something of a
detour on the monorail ride around the Wild Asia exhibit, then spent some
time at Jungle World, before heading for the African Plains.
"Something the Whale did when we fought him out in California," Cat said,
as they walked to their real destination.? "He was able to call some
humpback whales to help him when he was in trouble.? I just wondered if I
could do the same thing with lions.? Besides, with all that's happened to
us lately, I think we could use a break from the routine."
"Oh, ya want to talk to the animals, eh?" Tony said.? "Are ya goin' ta buy
one and put it on a leash for when you need a rescue?? Besides, why dint
you just have Lupe turn into a lion an' talk to her?"
"Ah, actually, I never thought of that," Cat said, with a wry grin.?
"Besides, I think it would be better to try talking to someone who doesn't
know me."
"Would you believe it, I've never been here before," Lupe gushed, as they
marched pass some gazelles on their way to the lions.? "All my knowledge
of animals comes from television and books.? Hey, Tony, why didn't Diego
come, he have to do surveys this morning?"
"Naw, believe it or not, the twerp told me he was too busy makin'
arrangements for his birthday party.? Don't you remember he's turning 17
this Saturday?"
'Oh, gosh, I did forget," Lupe said.? "It seems like Diego's been 16
forever!? Did he tell you what his plans are?
"Ahdonno fer sure," Tony said.? "But I tink he's gonna do dat thing at the
hotel again."
"Oh goody, I missed the last one for Lupe's birthday," Cat said.? "You
think he's going to provide the dresses again?"
"Who knows?" Tony said.? "I do know his mother asked him what he wanted
an' the fool said a pierced ear, so they're goin' to some tattoo joint
tomorrow to get it done.? Asked me if I wanted ta go too, ha!"
"Well, why wouldn't you, honey?" Cat asked.? "I'd do it myself, but any
piercing I got would probably heal right after it was done, so it'd be a
waste.? That's why I can only wear clip-on earrings."
"Jesus, do I have to go over this again?" Tony said in annoyance.?
"Present appearances to the contrary, I ain't a dame!? So I got no need to
have my fuckin' ears pierced."
"Diego's not a dame and he's getting his ears pierced," Lupe said.? "An'
that black guy on "60 Minutes" wears an earring, too."
"But, dat's different."
"How?"
"I donno, it just is, damn it!"
"Look, Tony," Cat said, trying to be helpful.? "You wear a bra and
panties, you wear dresses, you wear your hair down to your shoulders, you
even wear perfume and make-up sometimes.? My God, man, why not get your
ears pierced and wear some nice earrings too?"
Tony stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the lion-woman.
"No, you look, bitch," Tony said, in a rare display of his old gangster
personality.? "I wouldn't be doin' any a those things if you hadn't a bit
my dick off.? You tink it's so easy adapting ta what I've become?? Tink
again, cat girl."
"Oh, so I'm a bitch, huh?" Cat said, her eyes starting to flash and the
hairs on the back of her neck beginning to rise.? "Well, I wouldn't have
been able to bite off your nasty old dick if it wasn't stuck in my mouth
at the time.? Ya ever tink a dat, Toni girl?"
Both Tony and Cat were shouting now and their faces were only a few inches
apart.? Lupe was looking around nervously to see who was observing the
argument, while trying to think of a way to cool down the situation.?
Micki was strangely quiet - the sudden argument and the release of long-
suppressed emotions were causing her to have a flashback.
It was that night months ago when she was being seduced by the in-season
Cat.? She was still Mick Montana and Cat was gently asking him to put his
dick in her mouth.? He complied in a fog of sexual excitement and rewarded
her with a taste of his semen, his precious, male essence, an essence he
would lose that night and probably never have again.? Never... have...
again...
"Hey, I was wrong, OK?? I was wrong to do dat," Tony said, his voice
trembling.? "But why did you have to do what you did?? Why didn't ya just
kill me, Cat, like ya did the rest of the boys?? Why did you have to do
dat!?"
"Amen," Micki said, under her breath.? She didn't know if the others heard
her and she didn't care.
Tony, Cat, Lupe and Micki looked at each other, but no one knew what to
say.? It was as if the world was frozen and time had stopped.
A lone visitor carrying a small boom box tuned to an oldies radio station
chose that moment to walk past them.? Marvin Gaye's "Got To Give It Up"
was playing - the long version.? Upon hearing that Motown tune, Cat
started to dance the Frug, closing her eyes, swinging her hips and
snapping her fingers.? She switched to the Funky Chicken, while her
companions looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and broke into
laughter.?? Lupe started dancing as well.?
"Ayeee," she said, as she shook her stuff.? "What's dat, Cat?? An old
folks dance?? Here's how we do it now, mamasita!"
"Ever do the Prep, little girl?" Cat said, as she started waving her
hands.
"How about the Robot, granny?" Lupe sassed, as she laid out some
mechanical moves.? "Oh, oh, you got served!"
Micki knew that Lupe had never been to a dance in her life, but who cared,
as long as her friend was helping to break the huge storm cloud of tension
that had just arisen.? Micki also knew that Lupe had to do something to
get out of the funk she'd been in because of what happened to her
grandparents.? Micki had her own problems, but she joined in the dancing
and even Tony, possessor of absolutely no rhythm, tried to get his own
very shapely hips into the groove.? By the time the boom box had passed
beyond hearing range, everyone had calmed down considerably.
"Well, I wonder if Diego is going to bring Nicole as his date this time,
Tony," Lupe teased as she gasped for breath.? "Just think, if he steals
Nicole away from Richard, that leaves the way clear for you and the Arrow.
? Whew, sounds like a bad soap opera."
Everyone burst into laughter again, as Tony did another slow burn, but
there was no repeat of the earlier blowout this time.
"Hey, Lupe, since you're in such a good mood I got a question for you,"
Tony said, changing the subject.? "I hear you decided on Animal Girl as
your hero name.? Ain't dat kind of plain, you know?? Couldn't ya think of
somethin' wit' a little more, I don't know, a little more zip?"
"Well, it's simple and it gets the point across," Lupe said.? "Diego
suggested Monkey Girl, which was a big NO, and Cat came up with The
Mamalian."
"What?" Cat asked defensively.? "She can only turn into mammals, right??
Why not?"
"You know how people's minds work, Cat," Micki said.? "Pretty soon they'd
be calling her the mammarian and expecting her to have super tits or
something.? That might be a good name for you or Tony, but not for Lupe."
"Hey, how'd I get inta da discussion?" Tony asked.? "My boobs ain't dat
big!"
"Don't leave yourself out, hon," Cat couldn't resist saying.? "In a few
weeks your breasts?? might be bigger than any of ours."
Micki looked like she wanted to say something tart, but she didn't want to
bring back the storm clouds so she just snorted and left it at that.? No
need getting into another argument with Cat and ruining everybody's outing
(even though she was having her period again after just having it a week
ago, arrrgh).
With that, the friends arrived at the area reserved for the lions.? There
were five of them visible in their enclosure, four females and one
magnificent, but bored male named George.? They were all sprawled out,
trying to keep cool in the late summer sun when two of the females started
sniffing the air.? The others soon joined in and they all began to make a
huffy, low growling noise.
"What's that all about?" Micki asked Cat.? "Are they trying to talk to
you?"
"I don't know," Cat replied.? "I get the feeling something's being said,
but it's all kind of jumbled to me.? I wish I could get closer to them."
One of the older females sauntered over to the edge of the enclosure, as
close to the visitors as she could get and looked straight at Cat and the
others.
"Growluf grrrr?"
"Huh?" Cat said.? "What did you just say?"
"Growluf...are...these...your...cubs?"
"Well, no, not really, I mean, I didn't give birth to any of them," Cat
replied excitedly.? "Oh goody, I can understand you and you can understand
me."
"Your scentmark is on all of them, so I thought they were yours," the
lioness said, then she pointed her nose at Micki.? "The scent is weak on
the other two, but strong on her.? Surely this one is yours."
To Lupe and Tony the conversation was just a bunch of incomprehensible
growls from Cat and the lioness, but Micki was able to understand enough
of it to know they were talking about her.
"No, no, Micki, that is her name, was scentmarked by me by accident," Cat
tried to explain.? "While she is a lot like me, she isn't my cub.? And I
am Katherine, by the way."
"Oh, I am Nagota, of the Otacgo pride," the lioness said sadly.? "I have
had many cubs, but the tall apes have taken all of them away.? Do the tall
apes do that to each other as well?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, they do, but only if the mother is a bad one.?
I am sorry that happened to you, because I know you are a good mother."
The lioness purred at the compliment and Cat, impulsive as ever, leaped
over the barrier and joined Nagota on the grounds of the exhibit.? She
bowed to the lioness and scratched her chin.? School had started in NYC
and the zoo was nearly empty, but several visitors saw what Cat did and
yelled in alarm.
"Hey, hey, it's OK," Tony said, trying to quiet things before there was an
incident.? "She's da Cat, you know, the superhero?? With da Protectors??
She's in no danger at all.? (I hope)!"
Meanwhile, Cat continued getting to know the lioness.? The other lions
were also curious about the unexpected visitor and began to gather near
her, sniffing her or nuzzling her hand.
"It is good to meet you all," she growled.? "Tell me, Nagota, how long
have you been in this place?"
"The sun has made many circles of the sky," the lioness said.? "I was very
young when I was taken from my home.? I was still nursing when the tall
apes killed my mother and I had almost starved to death along with my
siblings when other tall apes found me and brought me here.? Tell me, you
look like a tall ape, yet you smell like one of us.? How is this so?"
"I was born a tall ape, but I have been changed by someone named Malato-Zu
into something more like you."
"Gruff, Malato-Zu, I have heard the name," the big male lion growled
loudly.? Cat was aware that he had moved in closer to her, but wasn't sure
of his intentions.? If he viewed her as any kind of threat, he would
attack.
"The goddess Malato-Zu was the first of our kind or so I was told by my
father and he by his father and so on for as long as anyone remembers," he
continued.
Tony, Micki and Lupe were trying to keep the rapidly gathering crowd under
control and also keep tabs on what was going on in the enclosure.? People
were hanging over the sides to take pictures and making a general nuisance
of themselves.? It wasn't long until zoo employees arrived, followed by
the inevitable TV cameras.
"Tell your friend to get out of there," an agitated zookeeper told Tony,
whom she assumed was in charge of the group.? "I don't care who she is,
she can't just jump in there with a half-dozen lions.? You need to go
through proper channels!"
"Well, eh, da Cat, she ain't one much for following proper channels, ya
know?" Tony sputtered.? "She's more of a spur-a-da moment type broad, ya
know, right, Micki?"
"Hey, Tony, where's Lupe?" Micki asked.
Back in the enclosure, the lions, who were used to crowds of gawking
humans, ignored the commotion and concentrated on their fascinating guest.
"So, tell me," Cat growled.? "If I asked you to do something for me, would
you?? Cause I got this enemy, called the Whale, and he was able to call
other whales to help him when he was in trouble and I just wondered if you
guys would do that for me?"
"If you needed us to help kill your enemies, we would do so," George said.
? "Of course, we would demand our fair share of the meat."
The lionesses nodded and growled their approval.
"Oh, I don't think I'd call on you to kill anyone," Cat said, with a
nervous grin.? "I don't want to be charged with cruelty to animals.? But
it's good to know you'd be willing to help."
"Lady Katherine," one of the lionesses interrupted.? "This cute little cub
says she wants to talk to you."
"Who is that?" the male growled, as he sniffed the air.? "She is not one
of mine."
"Calm down, Leo.? I'm with the Cat."
"Lupe?" Cat said.? "What the hell are you doing in here and as a lion cub,
too.? Don't you know male lions have an instinct to kill cubs that aren't
their own?"
"Oh, duh, who doesn't know that?" Lupe said, as she groomed herself
saucily.? "I know you wouldn't let big boy there hurt me, Cat.? And if he
even tried to, I'd turn into something really nasty, like a Lupe-sized
shrew, and give him a bite of poisonous saliva!"
"Rest easy, little one, I will not try to harm you," the lion said, as he
studied Lupe curiously.?
"How is it possible for a tall ape child to become one of us?? Is this
more of goddess Malato-Zu's doing?"
"Indirectly, yes," Cat said.? "Lupe, why the Animal Girl act during broad
daylight?? And what did you do with your clothes?"
"Just being impulsive, like you," Lupe said, with a toothy grin.? "And I
wanted to tell you the civilians up there are freaking out and want you to
leave.? And, my clothes are behind that bush over there."
Micki, moody as ever, had clammed-up, so Tony was once again the reluctant
spokesperson for the television cameras.? Tony was dressed casually in T-
shirt and shorts, like everyone else in the group, and no make-up, but he
was still a knock-out and very photogenic.? It didn't help that this was
the same televison crew that had caught him "hanging out" back in East
Harlem.
"Ay, don't make no big deal about it," Tony told the reporters.? "The Cat
is just, you know, getting acquainted wit' her four-legged cousins.? Kind
of a courtesy call, like."
"Miss, are you a member of the Protectors?" one reporter asked.? "You
always seem to show up when they're in action.? Isn't your name Toni
Bass?"
"Well, yeah, it is, but I ain't no hero."
"That's not what I hear," the reporter persisted.? "I heard you personally
took out two of the terrorists who invaded East Harlem last week.? What's
your super power?"
"Din you hear me, putz?? I said I ain't a hero an' I ain't got no super
powers. Sheech!? And I only took out one a dem mercenaries."
Just then, Cat leaped the 12 foot barrier out of the lion pit with Lupe,
still a lion cub, under one arm and Lupe's clothes under the other.
"Hey," a zoo official said.? "You can't just come in here and take a lion
cub out of it's enclosure."
"Don't worry, Jungle Jim, she's with us," Cat said, as she, Lupe, Micki
and Tony started for their car.?? Lupe, still a cub, really hammed it up,
snarling and growling at the visitors, allowing kids on a school field
trip to pet her while licking their hands, as Cat and the others laughed
at her antics.? Then they all ran to the PT Cruiser and took off before
the cameras could get a clear shot of the license.
The whole episode made the evening news, where it was viewed with interest
in a certain? modest home in Plainfield, New Jersey.
"Hey ma, it's that broad with Dad's name and voice on the news again!"
"Tony Jr. You are 15.? You are a young man now.? YOU DO NOT CALL WOMEN
BROADS, CAPISH?"
"Aw, busted," 14-year-old Frankie laughed.? "Yeah it's dat same br...
woman that was on last week.? Only this time she's keeping her tits in her
shirt.? Geez, she sounds just like Dr. Girlfriend on the Venture Brothers
show!"
"Oh, she's with the Cat, she's with the Cat," said Dino, age 10, as he did
a little dance of joy.? "And I bet that pretty girl is Cat's daughter.? I
hear she's real tough, too.? Hey ma, why do you think that lady has dad's
name an' voice?"
"I don't know, hon," Lola Bass said, as she tousled her youngest son's
hair.? "But since I haven't heard from your Dad in months, I'd sure like
to find out."
Later that day, in West Texas --
"I don't get it, I can't understand it.? I have the senses of a grizzly
bear.? The man was full of buckshot and bleeding like a stuck pig.? I
should have been able to find him easy, right away.? And yet... his trail
led nowhere.? It's like he disappeared into the air and took the horses
with him!"
It had taken them the better part of a day to dig out of? Donald Welldon
III's hidden sanctum, with Joe Santi doing most of the digging while Peter
Denuche moaned from the effects of? the Commander cold cocking him;
Welldon sat back and gave orders; and Billy Welldon made drinks and
applied cold compresses to Denuche's head.? All this after Santi had
already spent half a day out like the dead before he recovered from the
Commander's powder.? There was an emergency exit, but the blast that
closed the main entrance caused it to jam closed as well, so everyone had
been pretty much stuck.
"I don't see why you're so surprised," Welldon said, as he once again
dusted off his white shirt from the dirt raised by Santi's burrowing.?
"The Commander may not have super powers, but he is not to be
underestimated.? He hasn't avoided capture all these years through sheer,
dumb luck, you know?"
"Grrr, then he'd better have gone off somewhere to die," Santi said
acidly.? "I swear by my ancestors, I will kill him on sight.? I will eat
his liver for lunch and pick my teeth with his bones if? he ever crosses
my path again."
"I'm sure," Welldon said.? "How's Mr. Denuche doing?"
"Not well," Santi said.? "I believe the blow he received gave him a
concussion.? He keeps going in and out of consciousness.? My skills are
not for healing people.? He may die if you do not get him to a hospital."
"Hmmm, well, I guess now's as good a time as any, because he's NOT going
to a hospital," Welldon said.? "If I wanted everybody to know about this
set-up I'd have called for a crew from the ranch to come dig us out a day
ago.? Go get the idol of Ratise.? I have to ask Mr. Denuche an important
question."
Denuche lay on a well-stuffed sofa with a fresh cold compress on his head.
?? His skin was starting to take on a grayish hue and he no longer had any
feeling in his hands.? Billy was siting next to him, fanning the would-be
super villain to keep him cool.? Welldon signaled for his son to move,
then shook Denuche roughly, because time was short and Denuche had to be
awake for what was to happen next.
"Mr. Denuche, I appreciate all you've done in the short time you have been
a member of the Destroyers," Welldon said, with his lips close to
Denuche's ear to make sure he heard what he had to say.? "Unfortunately,
it looks like that blow you took from the Commander is a fatal one."
"Fatal...die?" Denuche mumbled in his stupor.
"Yes, you will die, soon," Welldon said.? "Unless..."
"Unless...what?"
"Unless you take the idol of Ratise and call on his name," Welldon said,
as he held it in front of the stricken man.? "You will live and you will
have power, more power than you ever imagined. Are you ready to take the
plunge, son, and damn your soul for the sake of this great nation of
ours?"
Denuche feebly reached for the terra cotta figure and grasped it in one
unfeeling hand.
"Ratise," he said, in a steady voice, and it was done.? A familiar green
glow filled the room and Denuche's body started to shimmer and change.
"Did you offer this to your son, Billy?" Santi asked, as he observed the
expected transformation take place.? "You know, keep it all in the
family."
"Oh, Billy wants to join with an idol demon, yes he does," Welldon said,
with a wink.? "However, he's waiting for us to kill the Cat so he can have
the spirit of Malato-Zu.? All that power and an instant sex change, too, I
tell ya."
The next morning, in New York City --
"Twenty one, twenty two ..."
"Go Micki Go!"
"Twenty three, twenty four ..."
The atmosphere in the Protectors gym was festive as Micki tried to
discover the present limits of her strength.
"Thirty six, thirty seven ..."
Mick Montana had always been strong for his size, a gift from his athletic
parents and his own dedication to personal improvement.? But the strength
he had as a tiny 28-year-old man was as nothing, compared to what he had
now as a teen-age girl with muscles like coiled steel.? On top of that,
Micki, who now measured an official 5'2", was two inches taller than Mick
had ever been in his life.
Wendy J counted out the reps as more and more onlookers watched and
shouted encouragement.
"Forty five, forty six ..."
Wendy J had come up with this means of testing Micki's mettle. Five
hundred pounds on an Olympic bar in the squat rack. Put the bar behind
your neck, on your shoulders, step out of the rack, get set and start
doing deep knee bends, or squats, until you can do no more.
"Something I picked up reading 'Iron Man' magazine in the 70s," she said.
"Art Jones, the kook who invented the Nautilus exercise machines, used
this method to separate the men from the boys.? Besides, Micki's still too
young to let her try a max single."
"Sixty eight, sixty nine ..."
Nightman and the Arrow were spotting on each side, while Cat stayed close
behind Micki just in case they needed another pair of hands.
"Hooowee, dis girl is one strong mama," the Arrow said admiringly. "You
evah see anythang like dis, Nightman?"
"No, I can't say I have. Hey, Cat, when are you going to give it a go?"
"No time soon, Teddy boy," Cat said, in irritation. "Unlike Miss It here,
lifting weights ain't my thing."
"Eighty eight, eighty nine ..."
"You are (gasp) a damn liar (ow), Cat," Micki wheezed, as she continued to
pump out the reps.? "You an' (groan) Rae Ming used to work out for hours
(shit) every day!"
"Micki's really getting full of herself," Cat thought, as the count droned
on. "Just because she's starting to grow some tits and finally has some
hips that can hold up a pair of slacks. Oh yeah, and she broke Fix-its
"unbreakable" armor. Big deal."
"Ninety nine, one hundred. OK, Micki, stop."
Micki shakily allowed her three spotters to help her return the ? ton
weight to it's rack, then she bent over and held her knees with her hands
as she tried to catch her breath.
"I (gasp), I coulda done a few more reps, coach," she said, as she wiped
the sweat off her face with a fresh towel.
"I don't doubt it," Wendy J said, as she rubbed an analgesic cream into
Micki's swollen thighs.? "But we didn't want to keep everyone here all
night waiting for you to collapse, now did we?"
Before Nightman and the Arrow could unload the ponderous weight, Cat stood
under it and stepped out of the rack with the bar resting on her
clavicles.? She took a deep breath, held it, dipped slightly, then jerked
the massive load to arms-length with a shout and a loud stomp of her right
foot.? She grinned and? held it overhead, solid as a rock.? Everyone
grabbed their ears as they expected her to drop the bar from arms-length
with a crash, but Cat returned it to her chest, then to her thighs and
finally, oh so gently, to the reinforced gym floor.
"Show-off," Micki sputtered.? "Like I couldn't do that!"
"Hmmm, somebody's been working out incognito," Diego said, as he continued
to do one arm dumbbell curls in the corner.? "Don't worry, Cat, you're
still my favorite superhero!"
Things were still in a state of flux among the Protectors. With the recent
loss of the Girl Goliath and the even worse news that Mr. Fix-it was a spy
for the Destroyers, everything was up in the air.? On top of all that came
the revelations involving Cat's origins and Micki's true relationship to
her, not to mention the still staggering after-effects of the assault on
East Harlem and the loss of the three idols.
There were so many questions to answer: should Cat be allowed to remain a
Protector?? Should the kids be allowed to join in spite of the age rule??
Should a non-super powered person like Nightman continue to lead the
group?? And, with Fix-it locked up, who was going to supply tech support??
Nancy Miller was pulling her hair out trying to find the answers.? Most of
last week's review panel had returned to Washington, but, since Bill
Clinton lived in New York City now, he had volunteered to stay in touch
with the Protectors as a councilor.? He had no official status, but he'd
always been a good listener and several of the Protectors were happy to
bend his ear with their concerns.? (Note:? This is still taking place just
before the unfortunate events in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast).
Nightman had left the gym and was having a meeting with Clinton in the
cafeteria for some coffee and a private conversation.? It wasn't easy, but
Nightman had to tell someone besides Nancy what was bothering him.
"Every human has the potential to be much more than he or she is, but so
few of us even begin to tap that potential," Clinton told him as they
sipped their coffee.? "You've been tapping your potential for years, my
friend, and done a great job of it too."
"Yeah, I get it," Nightman said, as he stirred his drink.? "We're all
special, in our own special way.? Well, I don't feel very special, sir.? I
feel like a fifth wheel around here, useless. Look what Micki just did in
the gym today. I'm not sure I could squat with 500 pounds on my back even
once, and this child does it 100 times!"
"You don't have to have super strength or invlunerability or x-ray vision
to be special," Clinton replied.? "Michael Jordan wasn't a mutant or
inhabited by a spirit, but he did things on the basketball court that
seemed magical.? Mozart wasn't the product of a genetic experiment, but he
was composing masterpieces when he was barely out of diapers.? I've seen
yoga masters do things with their bodies that you'd swear were impossible.
? Things I couldn't do no matter how much I trained.? The idea that the
only people qualified to be superheroes are those with flashy or
overwhelming powers, like Cat or Micki or the Whale, is just wrong."
"I guess when you were President, you felt something like a superhero
yourself, eh?" Nightman said.? "Even now you still get the Secret Service
protection and everything.? Oh, I hope you don't mind that we couldn't
allow your SS man on the second floor.? Security has gotten really tight
after what Mr. Fix-it did."
"It's OK, Andy understands," Clinton said.? "Well, some might say being
the president is like being a superhero, but I've got an even better
perspective.? Have you ever heard of the Sons of the South?"
"Sure, that group of heros from the southern states that was formed in the
60s to combat hate groups like the Klan and to show that not everyone from
below the Mason/Dixon line was a racist thug or supported segregation.?
Let me see, they had Bo and Beauregard and Bobby and a kid sidekick named
... Lil' Bubba, right?"
"That's it," Clinton said.? "They weren't involved in a lot of cases and
none of them had any real powers, but they were a great inspiration to me.
? In fact, I'd say they had the greatest influence of anyone on the type
of man I grew up to be."
"What happened?" Nightman asked.? "Did you actually meet these people?"
"More than that, Nightman," Clinton said, with a sly smile.? "I was the
original Lil' Bubba."
"Really?? I don't believe it," Nightman said.? "If that's the case, why
didn't you use it as a campaigning point?"
"Because, Nightman, as you well know, there's a significant part of the
population that does not like superheros," Clinton said, with a sigh.?
"Believe me, my opponents would have found a way to turn the fact that I
was Lil' Bubba against me.? Look at what they did with John Kerry's
Vietnam record.? No, I didn't ever want Lil' Bubba to become an issue, one
way or the other."
"Well, who does know about Lil' Bubba?"
"Oh, Hillary, of course, and Chelsea and Madeleine Albright.? I guess
you're the first man I ever told."
"Wow," Nightman said, with some agitation.? "Don't worry, sir, I won't
tell your secret.? You can depend on me."
"That's what I'm counting on, my friend," Clinton said, as he grasped
Nightman's arm firmly.? "That's what I'm counting on."
Elsewhere in the HQ, the Arrow and Tony Bass were cooling off from the gym
with a couple of ice cream floats.? Tony had taken the opportunity to work
out with everyone else today, something he'd never done in his other life
as a wise guy, not even back when he was playing football in high school.?
Tony wasn't fond of exercise, but this new body he had was so full of
energy he had to do something to work some of it off.? And he never seemed
to get sore, no matter how hard he pushed himself.? Today he had bench
pressed 340 pounds and deadlifted 550, far more than he'd ever done as a
flabby, 230 pound man.?
The only problem was, even in a baggy sweatsuit, his abundance of curves
stood out and he couldn't help being a little self-conscious sweating in
the gym.? The Arrow certainly made no effort to hide the fact that he was
constantly watching Tony as he exercised.
"So, Richard, what da ya say?" Tony asked.? "Will you give me some private
lessons on self defense or not?"
"Oh, ah got no problem with that, Toni, ah just thought you wanted to
continue training wit' the kids."
"Ah, well, ya want ta be around adults sometimes, ya know?" Tony said,
trying to keep the conversation from becoming too personal.? "Wendy J is
all right, but she don't have the time to give us very much individual
attention.? Da next time some hard case gives me trouble I don't wanna
have ta drop my top ta get da upper hand, see?"
Robicheaux turned a bit red at this reminder of Tony's breast-baring
episode, much to the ex-gangster's amusement.? He enjoyed making the Arrow
squirm, but he could never do anything to discourage his unwanted
attention.
"So, Cat's got some kinda demon thang livin' in her and Micki isn't her
daughter but is really da Mouse," the Arrow summed up for what seemed like
the 100th time.? "But what ah cain't understand is why dey thought dey had
to lie to us in the fus place?? Why couldn't dey just tell us da truth?"
"Because you would'a had Cat locked up and thrown away the key and you
know it," Tony said.? "You and Cat never did see eye to eye, at least,
dat's what they tell me."
"And what about you, chere?" Arrow asked.? "You tol' those Washington
types you were a member of da Gamboli crime family and Cat, or the demon
in Cat, slaughtered just about all a dem.? Don't you hate her?? If anybody
had a reason to hate her guts it's you."
"(Sigh) yeah, Richard, I hated da Cat, hated her a lot, fer a long time,"
Tony said.? "An' believe me, she did some things to me personally dat you
don't even know about that still make me mad as hell when I tink about 'em
too much.? But, we brought it all on ourselves, ya know?? She wouldn't
have chosen to attack my family if we wasn't in the rackets, see?? It's a
hard thing to accept, but I know it's da truth."
"Were you in the rackets, too, Toni?" the Arrow asked, with a look of
concern on his face.
"Well, er, yeah, in a minor way," Tony said, not quite knowing how much he
should tell Robichaux.? "A little graft, some confidence deals, you know,
the stuff they have us dames do."
"An' what did yer mama say about all dat?" the Arrow asked.? By now Tony
was ready to end this whole line of conversation.
"Look, Dick, my mother died a long time ago," he said firmly.? "My Dad
too.? I was practically raised an orphan.? I don't remember who first came
up wit' the bright idea of saying I was living wit' my mother, but it was
a lie, get it?? Just another lie!"
"I see," said the Arrow, who seemed to be in deep thought.? "So you didn't
tell me about yer involvement with the Mafia, an' the part about livin'
wit' yer mother was a lie.? Is there anythang else I should know?"
"Tell him, tell him," a little voice inside Tony's head yelled.? "Now's
the time, you dope!? You don't give a damn about this bastard anyhow!"
"Gee, ahdonno," Tony finally said, lamely.? "I'll have ta tink about it.?
And, oh yeah, here's dat $5,000 you loaned me last month, plus $500
interest.? We square?"
"Sure thang, hon," Robichaux said cheerfully, as he put the large wad of
$100 bills in his pocket without counting them.? "But you know, you didn't
have to pay me no interest."
"Oh, yes I did, Dicky boy.? That's one GOOD thing I learned from da
rackets: always pay yer debts wit interest."? (Tony neglected to tell the
Arrow that the money he borrowed was for back child support payments).
"Well, here's somethang for you too, sweetie."
With that, the Arrow gave Tony a small, giftwrapped box and, after giving
him a peck on the cheek, was gone.
Tony was almost afraid to open the box, but he did.? Inside was an
exquisite cameo locket of very great age and a note: "This belonged to my
mother and her mother before her.? I can think of no one it's better
suited for than you.? Richard".
The locket was attached to a chain so it could be worn around the neck.?
Tony noticed a button on the locket and when pushed, it opened to show two
small photographs; one was an unusual shot of the Arrow out of uniform and
the other was of Tony on one of the rare occasions he'd worn full make-up.
? Tony wondered how Richard ever got such a photograph of him.
"Ah, shit," was all Tony could say.
Later that day, still at the HQ --
Because of the Cat's revelations about her true origin and Malato-Zu's
part in it, it was decided to have a complete debriefing of her activities
before and after joining the Protectors and then add her comments to the
Protector's database.? Nancy Miller had left with Micki to check out a
location in Pennsylvania that may have been Destroyers HQ, so Nightman
volunteered to conduct the debriefing.? It had gone on for hours before
they'd even gotten to Cat's last adventure before joining the Protectors.
"And you say this vampire was living in Louisville and no one knew about
him?" Nightman asked.? "How did he get away with it?"
"I hate to say it, but he played the old race card," Cat said.? "His
victims were all residents of a mostly black nursing home in the West End
of the city.? He felt that no one would be overly concerned about an
abnormally high death rate at a home catering to African-Americans and,
unfortunately, he was right.? If Mouse and I hadn't gotten involved, he
might still be there, happily sucking blood, now."
"I don't doubt that at all, unfortunately," Nightman said.? "We had to put
up with the same thing in Baltimore, probably still do, but I don't get
down there much anymore.? Man, Katherine, I still can't get over the fact
that you're a black woman.? I hope you don't take offense at this, but I'd
have never known if you hadn't told us."
"Well, Ted, I've always wanted to pass and now I do," Cat said bitterly.?
"No.? That's unfair.? You're old enough to remember the way things used to
be for black people in the past century.? Hell, you grew up in Maryland,
which wasn't much better than Kentucky on racial matters since they're
both border states.? I used to take part in sit-ins and freedom marches.?
And now, when things are finally better for black people because of our
efforts, I turn into this white lookin' ... thing.? Life's a bitch, ya
know?"
"Maybe, but look at you," Nightman said, with something resembling
admiration.? "You are one of the most powerful people on earth.? And look
at the way most men fall all over themselves around you because of your
... assets."
"And to think, before I changed I looked kind of like Condoleezza Rice,"
Cat said, with a snort.? "Most men find me very attractive, but not you,
eh, Nightman?"
"Ah, err, I try to keep my relationships outside the superhero
community," Nightman said nervously.
"Is that the reason you act like Gaby doesn't exist most of the time?"
"Who?"
"Don't be stupid," Cat said.? "Gaby, the Medium.? That girl has had a
crush on you since she was a little kid.? Don't tell me you never
noticed?"
"Well, frankly, no," Nightman said.? "Good God, I'm twice her age.? What
would she want with an old fossil like me?"
"I don't know, Ted.? Maybe you were her knight in pitch black armor and
she never got over you.? Little girls are like that.? You still cut an
imposing figure in that ebony git-up of yours, so don't sell yourself
short, old boy."
"But, what should I do?"
"How would I know?" Cat said.? "I'm the last person you should ask for
romantic advice.? Just act like you know she's alive and a woman, not
simply a partner in crime fighting.? Take her to a movie or for a walk in
the park.? Ask her to talk about herself.? In fact, why not debrief her on
the mission to the Philippines instead of me?? That would be a natural
excuse for you two to be alone together."
"Well, alright, but don't expect anything to come out of it."
"What do I look like, fuckin' Cupid?" Cat snorted again.? "I'm just tired
of yacking my mouth off.? I'm going for a burger and a beer.? Later."
At that same moment --
"This is the first time I've ever been in your home, Ms. Medium.? It's
quite impressive and what a view of Central Park!"
Gaby Daltry lived in a good-sized condo in the Dakota, the same massive
old apartment building Roman Polanski used to film scenes from "Rosemary's
Baby."? Lupe was unfamiliar with that movie, so she couldn't appreciate
the irony of their situation.
"Yeah, it's an old dump, but it's got character, you know?" Gaby said, as
they walked from the living room to the kitchen.? "I think Rex Reed still
lives here.? And remember, John Lennon was murdered not far from here in
1980.? For 40 grand a year you couldn't do much better in NYC.? And
please, we've known each other way too long for any 'Ms. Mediums.'? It's
Gaby, OK?"
"Ouch, that's a lot of money to a kid like me, Gaby.? It must be nice to
be able to afford something like this.? By the way, I know who Rex Reed
is, but, John Lennon?"
"Oh, come on," Gaby said incredulously.? "John Lennon!? One of the
Beatles?? Married to that dip Yoko Ono?? I thought you were supposed to be
a smart kid and junk."
"Well, heck, I'm only 11.? The guy died in 1980, you said."
"Yes, but the Beatles are, like, the most famous band of all time.? Hell,
he died before I was born too and I know about him.? So how come you know
Rex Reed, you a big movie fan?"
"He was one of the stars of "Myra Breckinridge."
"Myra Breckinridge?"
"Yes, a movie made in 1970, starring Racquel Welsh, Mae West and John
Huston.? It was universally panned by the critics and bombed with the
public."
"Damn, I never heard of it."
"The plot involved a man who had a sex change operation and then went out
to Hollywood to become involved in the motion picture business," Lupe
said, as she sipped the Diet Pepsi Gaby had offered.? "It's based on a
book by Gore Vidal.? I'm ... kind of an expert on movies involving sex
changes.? Is that hard to believe?"
"No, honey, not at all," Gaby smiled.? "Oh well, money isn't everything,
you know.? Let's just hope the moola I used to get our guests here was
money well spent."
As if on cue, the doorbell rang and Gaby went to let in her visitors.?
They were three very odd looking people: two old women who were twins and
were dressed like English nannies of Mary Poppins vintage and a middle-
aged man with wild gray hair and a pot gut, dressed in a ragged tweed
suit.? Lupe imagined that if anyone living in this swanky place saw them
come in, they'd figure these people had lost their way to a bag lady
convention.
"Dr. Mandrake, Eunice and Bernice, this is Lupe, the Ole Perfesser's
granddaughter," Gaby said, as she made a sweeping motion with her hand in
Lupe's direction.? "Lupe, dig it, they're here today, all the way from
England, to help us get in touch with your Grandfather."
Meanwhile, in the heartland of America --
Algona, Iowa is south of the Minnesota border and not close to much of
anything.? The rolling wheat fields are fertile and productive and there
are 10 times as many cows in the county as people.? It's a good place to
go if you need to disappear.
"Your mother and I are sure happy you two decided to come back for a
visit," Donald Weathers said to his twin son and daughter at the dinner
table.? "I don't care why you're back, just that you're here.? And you
know you're welcome to stay as long as you like."
"Uh, thanks Dad," said his daughter, Donna, as she helped herself to
mother's fried chicken.? "Me and Ronnie just decided we'd had enough
excitement in the business world for a while and what better place to
relax and recharge than here, eh?"
"And you, Sally," Mr. Weathers continued.? "It sure was a blessed day when
you decided to come and spend some time with the twins.? You got that old
tractor of mine working again and I don't know what we'd have done if you
hadn't been here to fix the milking machine."
"Just earning my keep," was Junk Yard Sal's grumbled reply.? "I have a
certain affinity for machines."
"Oh, Miss Sally, I know you don't say much, but you don't have to," Mrs.
Weathers said as she made sure everyone had enough mashed potatoes.?
"Anyone can tell how fond you are of the twins and that makes you OK with
us.? Does anybody need more green beans?"
The meal ended with apple pie and vanilla ice cream, then Mrs. Weathers
shooed everyone out of her kitchen so she could wash the dishes.? When Mr.
Weathers went to watch CNN in the den, his children and their guest went
to the front porch to talk.
"God damn, this is like living in an episode of "The Real McCoys," Sal
spouted, as she bit off a chew of tobacco.? "No wonder you two were ready
to do anything for thrills."
"Yeah, it gets pretty grim around here, all right," Ronald said, as he
picked up some smooth stones and started throwing them at nothing in
particular.? "Hey, Sal, when the shit did you start chewin' tabaccer?"
"When I was a lot younger than you, punk," Sal replied, as she spit out a
nasty, translucent black glob.? "Couldn't very well do this at the HQ, and
besides, it helps calm me down."
"Yeah, the HQ," Donna said, almost wistfully.? "I can't believe the
Commander knew how to find us and gave the address to you instead.? Do you
think we're safe from the Master here?"
"The Master, maybe, but I don't know about that Joe Santi," Sal said, as
she felt a sudden chill.? "That creepy injun got some strong mojo working
for him and I'm afraid it might only be a matter of time."
"Well, we weren't planning on staying here too long," Ronald said, as he
gazed down the road as if looking for some phantom pursuer.? "Trouble is
figuring out our next move.? Can't say I'd want to go back to the extreme
sports circuit.? What I'd really like to do is start up the Destroyers
again, since you say they disbanded, but without the freaks and the
grandiose, world domination schemes."
"Two problems wit' dat, squirt," Sal said, as she continued to chew,
thoughtfully.? "Number one, if we go into action again as the Destroyers,
that'd be like putting a neon sign on our heads askin' for Santi and the
Master to come a runnin.'? Second, though it pains me to say it, we don't
have a leader.? None of us are exactly the leadership type.? The Commander
might have been a psychotic tight-ass, but he was a born leader."
"Yeah, you got that right," Ronald said.
"Damn, I have to agree," Donna said.
(Sigh)? "I guess the best thing for us to do is leave here and head to
Canada or Mexico," Sal concluded.
Just then, Ronald's keen eyes noticed something in the far distance.? A
lone figure, tall and lean, heading their way on foot.? The figure was
moving slowly, like he had a limp and the heat lines coming off the
asphalt road played tricks with it, making it look distorted and ghost-
like.? The overall effect was disturbing.
"Sal," he said.? "I think we got a visitor."
At that same moment, back east --
"Looks like they did a hell of a good job covering their tracks," Nancy
Miller said, as she walked through the bombed out remains of Destroyers
HQ.? "You sure this was the? bastards' hide-out?"
"While physical evidence is short, circumstantial evidence is strong, Ms.
Miller," A. J. Quartermain, the FBI adjunct said.? "The size of this
facility would be about right for their kind of operation, there was a
substantial power grid that has been removed, the location would be
convenient? for attacks on the NYC area and there are no county or state
records of anything being built here in the past that would match what is
here now."
"Micki, what do your senses tell you?" Miller asked.? As Cat, Lupe and the
Medium were all busy, Miller had prevailed upon Micki Montana to come
along and sniff the place out.? Micki made no reply to Miller's question.?
Instead, she loped off, rapidly sampling the smells, the feel, the very
aura of the ruined safehold.? She quickly returned to Miller with a grim
smile on her face.
"They were here, alright," she said.? "They tried washing the entire area
with bleach, but I still caught the Commander's scent.? And there is an
aura of evil here that could only belong to an idol-user like Joe Santi.?
I think he cast a spell to try to dissipate that aura, but to me, that's
only confirmation that he was here.? And then there's this."
Micki handed Nancy Miller a small piece of plastic.? It was about 5"x7"
and had been partially burned when the Destroyers moved out, but was
somehow missed when they left.? The important thing about it, however, was
a series of serial numbers that remained undamaged on one side.
"Aha," Nancy Miller said.? "Good work, Micki.? I bet the boys at the FBI
lab can get us a fresh lead out of this."
She handed the piece of plastic to agent Quartermain with instructions to
run every test possible on it.
"Quartermain, do you know who did the forensics on the Gamboli case?" she
asked.? "You know, that mansion in New Jersey that was turned into a
mobster slaughter house about a year or so ago?"
"That was handled through my office, ma'am," the agent said.? "Which house
do you mean?? Salvatore Gamboli's or Antonio Gamboli's?"
"Which one were you at when you first met Cat, Micki?" Miller asked.
"That would be Antonio's house," she said.? "I'll never forget that
place."
"OK, Quartermain, I want access to all the DNA evidence taken from that
house," Miller said.? "Can you do that?"
"That shouldn't be a problem.? In fact, I can take you to the place today
if you like.? The Gambolis tried to clean it up, but there was still lots
of evidence left.? Since the cases remain? officially open, neither of
those sites have been touched by anyone but the authorities."
"Great.? Let's go, Micki," Miller said perkily.? "I saw a Roy Rogers
restaurant on the highway coming out here.? I'm going to buy you anything
you want to eat for the trip to New Jersey.? And then you can tell me just
exactly what an 'aura' is and what it looks like."
Saturday night, mid-town Manhattan --
Once again the gang was gathered at the Midtown Marriott for a birthday
party, this time for 17-year-old Diego Gomes.? There was a much larger
crowd at the table in The Shelton Grille on this occasion, but Diego
didn't have to foot the entire bill.
"And here's a toast to our own dear friend, Tony, for going halves with me
on this spread," Diego said, as he raised his glass of bubbling Mountain
Dew.? "I wish this was something stronger, but even a superhero has to
wait 'til he's of age, ha!"
"Well, squirt, it is your birt'day an' I got da dough, so, why not?" Tony,
who had already had a few, said.? "Wit all due respects, we can use a
little party, now.? All da doom an' gloom has been gettin' ta me.? I even
let Lupe talk me inta gettin' my ears pierced wit' her an' Diego today,
but I tink da damn holes have already healed over. I can't even find the
damn studs."
In addition to Tony and Diego; Lupe, Cat, Micki, Alabrecca, the Medium,
Nightman, the Arrow and Nicole were there.? Robichaux was able to maneuver
himself to a seat between Tony and Nicole, so he was in hog heaven, while
Ted took the initiative to sit next to Gaby.? No one was in costume this
time, not even the usual dark glasses.? The females were all elegantly
gowned, some in their own dresses and some in clothing rented by Diego
just for this occasion. Tony wore his new locket and it seemed right at
home resting in his impressive cleavage.
The other guests stole a glance or two in their direction, but whether it
was because they recognized who was in their midst or simply because it
was a large, lively group, no one could say.
"Yes, these past few months have been trying," Nightman said.? "I can't
even? remember the last time the Protectors won a fight outright.? Now the
New York Post has started calling us 'The Losers,'? in that inimitable
style of theirs.? I only wish there had been more I could have done to
change that perception."
"No, Ted, don't say that," the Medium said, as she lightly touched
Nightman's hand.? "If my visions of the future had, like, been clearer, we
all could have done a lot more, dig?? I'm pretty sure now that this Santi
character was somehow blocking my power, because I just got a doozy and
it's about one of the idols."
"Oh yeah, which one, Gaby?" Cat asked.? "One of the ones the Destroyers
stole or maybe the one that created the Whale?"
"No, this is a new one, one we haven't seen before," Gaby said.? "It's
located in the south of Venezuela and if we don't get to it soon, a really
bad person will find it and get the spirit of the demon."
"Who?"
"That I don't know, but I do know that Santi also knows about the idol and
he will be going after it as well."
"Then that's it," Nightman said.? "I'll tell Nancy and we'll leave
tomorrow.? Cat, Medium, and I will go.? Arrow, I hope you don't mind, but
I need you to stay and watch the store again.? Maybe you can get Micki,
Diego and Lupe to help you, unofficially."
"Sorry, boss, but I can't go," the Medium said, with her head bowed.
"Oh, why not?" Nightman asked.? "How are we going to find this thing
without you?"
"Cat can find it just as well as I can when she gets down there," Gaby
said.? "But I've got to stay here and start looking for the Ole
Perfesser."
"What?" said the Arrow, already about half-drunk, himself.? "How you
propose to do dat?"
"We held a s?ance yesterday with three mystics from England," Lupe piped
up, "at Gaby's apartment.? It was two weird-looking old women and a
weirder-looking man.? The women started singing something whack, went like
'Cherrie Bright, Cherrie Bright...'? something or other, and then the man
started shakin' and sloberin' at the mouth, an then some kind of nasty fog
came up out of Gaby's floor and the weird man starting talkin' in Pop
Pop's voice... 'Lupe, Lupe,' he said, 'Get me out of here, child, there's
nothing to eat, I'm floating 'twix the sky and the earth.'"
"Aiee, Dios Mio," Alebrecca said as she crossed herself, looking like she
was about to faint.
"'Lupe, you and Gaby must help me,'" Lupe continued.? "'Get Ahmed, too.?
He will know what to do.? Don't fail me now!'? And that was it."
"Who is this Ahmed?" Nightman asked.
"I believe he meant Ahmed Ibrahim," the Medium said.? "He was a colleague
of the Perfesser, who, like, always spoke of him highly.? His collection
of mystical objects was probably second only to the Perfesser's, which
means it's the best now, I guess.? Anyhow, he lives in Egypt and I plan on
getting him here as soon as possible."
"Well, if there's any chance of getting the Perfesser back, you must
try," Nightman said, as he held Gaby's hand, perhaps a little longer than
he needed to.? "I'm sure Nancy can find us some other help if we need it."
"I want to go on this mission," Micki said.? "And don't say I'm too young.
? You already know I'm really the Mouse and I'm a lot older than I look,
so don't be giving me any of that 'the charter says you got to be 18'
crap."
Nightman took a hard look at Micki.? He saw a very young, very beautiful
girl sitting before him in her white party dress.? Her sparkling blue
eyes, her luxurious hair, her budding teen-age breasts couldn't hide the
pig iron just under the surface.? He had seen personally what this "girl"
could do and could think of no reason not to bring her along.
"OK, you're in," he said.? "Anything else?"
"Yeah," the Arrow slurred.? "I wanna know how Toni got the money to pay
for half dis bash.? An' you paid me back da money you owed me, too, but I
don't see you workin' no job.? What da hell is going on, honey?? You ain't
gone back to da rackets have you?"
There was a collective gasp around the table and several people got ready
for Tony to explode.? But, instead of turning purple with rage, Tony just
looked at the Arrow and smiled.
"Oh, ya wanna know how I got da dough, do ya, HONEY?" Tony slurred back
sarcastically.? "Well, I'll tell ya.? Like I tol' dem Washington hot
shots, I'm workin' with Dr. Mihandra on a research project now.? Seems he
treated a bunch a bums who were recruited by the Gambolis to try an' fuck
our girl Cat here ta death."
"Shuss, Tony, watch your mouth," Alabrecca interrupted.? "This is a classy
place and there are children present!"
"What children?" Tony snarled.? "Diego here is almost a man, Micki is
almost as old as I am... oh, I guess you'll need to close your ears, Lupe,
dear, 'cus da fuckin' Arrow asked a question an' I'm gonna answer it."
Alabrecca huffed and Lupe suppressed a chuckle, but Tony continued.? He
was going to say what he had to say no matter what.
"Anyhow, Dr. Mihandra treated these bums an' they was all suffering from
'sexual dysfunction' after having sex wit' our girl Cat.? In udder woids,
they was losing their dicks an' balls, an growing hair an' titties, an'
the doc was tryin' to find out why."
"Merciful heavens, Toni, what does all dis have to do wit' you?" the Arrow
said.? "You ain't no sex doctor, are you?"
"No you idiot, I'm da one who recruited all dem bums," Tony confessed.? "I
tol' ya I used to work for da mob.? I fucked Cat more times than anybody
else an' what happened ta them happened to me too - only moreso, see?? So,
somehow, the doctor finds me an' he offers me a $50,000 government grant
to let dem study me an' find out what makes me tick, see?? An' was I
goin' ta turn down dat kind a scratch?? HELL NO!"
Everyone at the table was speechless and had but one thought on their
minds: how's the Arrow going to react to this revelation?? Richard looked
stunned, like a child being told for the first time that there is no Santa
Claus.? Nicky, or rather, Nicole, had an inscrutable Mona Lisa smile on
his face as he scooted a little closer to the Arrow.
"But, baby, how you fu.. have sex wit' da Cat?? You a woman!"
"I wasn't a woman den, fool!" Tony hissed through gritted teeth.? "I was a
man until I fucked the Cat!"
Tony was standing now and attracting a lot of attention.? Diego could see
the head waiter coming in their direction and knew he'd better do
something to calm things down, but at that moment, the Arrow decided to
make the single most unwise move of his entire life.? He stood up, grabbed
Tony's breasts and gave them a good squeeze.
"Ha, ha, good joke, chere," he said gleefully.? "Dese tits are as real as
rain.? If you a man, I'm a Yankee!"
With that, Tony laid out the Arrow with a solid right cross to the jaw.?
Richard flew several feet, then fell across the table, his face landing
neatly in Diego's three-layer, chocolate with white icing, birthday cake.
"Oh well," Micki said in the midst of the ensuing chaos.? "As the old
philosopher once said: 'There are none so blind as those who will not
see'."
THE NEXT DAY...
"Well, Cat, that was quite a display last night," Nightman said.? "As if?
the Protectors needed another black eye before the public ... (sigh) ...
but I feel the sorriest for young Diego, that was no way to end your
birthday celebration."
"Ah, it wasn't that bad, boss man," Cat said, as she made a final check of
her luggage.? "The police were really nice about it and they didn't arrest
anyone.? By the way, where's the Arrow now?"
"Still in his room, I guess.? He's laying low, the result of the
combination of rum fizzes and Toni's fist.? The Arrow is a tough dude, I
had no idea Toni could hit so hard.? I guess all that stuff she said about
herself was true."
"About being a man?? Ted, I already told you that in my deposition,
remember?"
"Yeah, I know, but, it's one thing to hear something and another to see it
for yourself.? I still have trouble believing that Micki is an adult and
that you're a half-demon."
"Did I hear someone taking my name in vain?" Micki said, as she joined the
other two.? She was also carrying a suitcase for the long trip to
Venezuela and was dressed in shorts, a T-shirt and a pink ball cap.?
Nightman again had to remind himself that this incredibly cute teen-aged
girl was a full-grown adult.? That would take a lot of getting used to.
"Hey, I found a woman and three kids in the lobby looking for Tony," Micki
said.
"You know Toni doesn't live here," Nightman said, as they entered the
limousine for the trip to the airport.? "Why would they be looking for her
at the HQ?"
"They told me they'd seen Tony on television a couple of times and it was
always in some connection with the Protectors, so they figured to find him
here," Micki said, as they sped off.? "So, no problem, I gave them the
address of the apartment house and they're going there to see him."
"Why would you tell a complete stranger where Tony lived?" Cat inquired.
"Because that was Lola Bass and Tony's kids," Micki said matter-of-factly.
? "Tony keeps telling us he's going to get in touch with his children some
day, so now's his chance."
Nightman had a puzzled look on his face.
"Toni has kids?"
End Episode 15