Haters Gonna Hate
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Why I Hate Magic Pt. 1 free porn video
Daniel could think of several reasons why he didn't want to go to Dr.
Suspendo's Midnight Magic Show. His apartment needed cleaning. He hadn't
been to the grocery store in over a week and was running low on food.
Semester finals were coming up and he really should be hitting the
books. There was an all-night marathon of Godzilla films playing on the
classic film channel. Really, any of these excuses would have worked.
The main reason that Daniel had no interest in watching a magic show,
however, was the fact that he absolutely hated magic. Hate wasn't strong
enough of a word. He detested it. He hatested it.
Slight of hand, rabbits out of the hat, reading minds - it drove Daniel
insane trying to comprehend how anyone - even a kid - could consider for
a second that magic was nothing more then trickery and lies.
As a small child Daniel's fifth birthday party had been ruined by the
drunken antics of a washed-up children's magician and Daniel had never
forgiven the illusionary inclined. Even 18 years later, Daniel took a
glee in revealing the secrets behind his friends' card tricks.
This, then, is why Daniel was completely miserable as he sat at a tiny
table towards the front of the Lovingswood Community Theater, nursed a
beer and watched Dr. Suspendo's warm-up act, an elderly magician, pull a
seemingly never-ending string of ribbons from his wrinkled sleeve.
Daniel, of course, had protested when he heard where Gloria wanted to go
for her 22nd birthday.
"Wouldn't you rather go to a bar or a movie?" he asked, offering up one
of his patented country-boy grins. "We could even go bowling."
"Bowling? We go bowling every week. I've never been to a magic show in
my life," Gloria said, smiling ear to ear. "Can you believe that? In my
entire life! I feel like I've missed a huge part of my childhood."
"You haven't missed much. Trust me," said Daniel. "I'm not sure if I'm
going to be able to make it. I have some stuff to do."
Gloria frowned. She and Daniel had been friends since their freshmen
year of college. Together, the two had helped each other through
classes, relationships and disasters of all shapes and sizes. Once,
during a particularly stressful night of test cramming, they had even
becomes something more then friends - if only for a moment of brief,
fleeting passion. This afternoon, though, as Gloria and Daniel walked to
the afternoon English class they shared, she was annoyed at him for not
joining in on her excitement.
"You're not going to miss out on my birthday just because you're scared
of a little magic, are you?"
"I'm not scared of magic," said Daniel. "I don't like it. There is a
difference. Magicians are nothing more then smarmy little men that get
paid to lie. The only thing I'm afraid of is wasting my money on Dr.
Suspendo's Midnight Magic Show. What's Dr. Suspendo have his doctorate
in anyway? Wearing tuxedos that are too tight? I don't want to stare at
the outline of some dude's junk while he tries to guess my weight."
Despite her frustration, Gloria couldn't help but laugh with Daniel.
"I think Dr. Suspendo would take some umbrage with you calling her a
smarmy little man."
"The magician's a her?" Daniel asked, somewhat surprised.
"Yeah, she is," Gloria said. "She's in my public speaking class. She's
really cool too - none of that David Copperfield shit. She's into all
this New Age stuff and dresses all in black."
"She sounds like she's your hero," Daniel said, rolling his eyes.
Gloria had recently begun working next door to a candle store and had
become fascinated by the shop's Wiccan owners. Not a day went by that
Gloria did not attempt to bore Daniel to death with the minute details
she had uncovered about the shop owners' lives and their beliefs.
"I saw a poster for her show at The Candlewick-an," Gloria offered. "She
was dressed really sexy. Like something from a burlesque show."
"How did I guess," Daniel shot back. "What a clich?. I bet she wears
fishnet stockings, right? I'm serious, though. I don't think I'm going
to go this year. We'll go to the bar tomorrow, though, right?"
Daniel quickly glanced away, hoping to avoid the look on Gloria's face
as he laid the news on her. It was too late, though. He could feel the
glare of the young woman who stood beside him and, like a powerful
magnet, it drew him in.
Daniel shot Gloria a brief glance to gage her anger and before he knew
it, Gloria had unleashed the full extent of her feminine powers. Daniel
knew that as soon as he saw Gloria's big blue eyes start to well up with
tears and her small, perky mouth quiver, that there was no way he would
be able to say no.
"Would you really do that to me?" Gloria asked, choking back tears.
"Would you really miss my 23rd birthday - even after I waited in line
all morning last fall so I could get you a Wii for your birthday? I
thought you were a better friend then that."
"Would you really do that to me?" Daniel replied. "Would you really use
your pathetic excuse for acting skills on me?"
"Jesus Christ!" Gloria yelled, throwing her arms up in the air. "What's
it going to take?"
She grabbed Daniel's face and pulled it up close to hers.
"You're going with me. That's final. I don't want to hear any more shit
from you."
"I'll go but I'm not going to enjoy myself."
"You don't have to. I'll enjoy myself twice as much for you. All you
have to do is sit beside me and pout. You can even buy me a drink or two
if the mood strikes."
Gloria smiled as she wrapped her arms around Daniel and gave him the
biggest hug her tiny frame could manage.
"You are going to fun, though. Just you wait and see."
Daniel did wait and see. He was on his best behavior when he showed up
at the small community theater where Dr. Suspendo would be performing.
As he took his seat, he offered Gloria's other friends a weak smile,
trying his best to act cordial. As a pre-show band played, Daniel began
to hope that maybe this night wouldn't be a total bust. But as the
opening magician took the stage and began his routine, Daniel realized
that he would need to begin drinking pronto in order to make it through
the rest of the show.
And so, before the first magician had made it to the half-way point of
his act, Daniel had already amassed an impressive army of empty bottles
that crowded the table in front of him.
He was slowly pealing the label off of his sixth beer, watching the
grinning magician pretend to saw a woman in half when Daniel found
himself opening his mouth and shouting.
"She has her legs curled up! Those are fake legs sticking out of the
other end of the box."
Daniel was shocked at his outburst. While he was normally not one for
heckling, the combination of alcohol and a sour mood had brought out the
worst in Daniel. He saw out of the corner of his eye that Gloria was
giving him a furious glare. It was far too late, though. Why fight it?
Daniel decided to have a little fun with the magician.
Daniel took another swig from his beer and shouted again.
"She's really not a volunteer. She's part of the act!"
The magician, flustered by this unexpected outburst, dropped his saw
onto the floor.
"Seriously, old man. Get off the stage before we have to change your
adult diapers."
Daniel continued to shout as the magician fumbled to retrieve his saw
and proceed with his derailed act.
Daniel glanced around at his fellow audience, expecting to see the
grinning faces of a group of people who similarly saw through the
magician's fraud. Instead, what Daniel saw was a sea of frowns and angry
looks. Leading the army of the displeased was Gloria.
"Shut up Daniel," she hissed. "You're acting like an asshole."
Daniel sat down and went back to his nursing his beer, disappointed in
the reactions around him.
The magician, who had by now picked up his saw again, tried to resume
his show.
"Well, I guess we better put this young lady back together again. We
wouldn't want her to bleed out on the stage here."
"Oh come on," Daniel shouted. He stood up and faced the crowed. "Do you
people actually believe that Harry Houdini up there actually sawed a
woman in half? Am I sitting in a theater of re-re's?"
"Sit down and shut up," somebody in the audience shouted back. "You're
ruining the show."
"Yeah, sit down you dumb fuck," another voice added.
The theater burst out into a mix of laughter and applause.
By the time the audience settled back down and Daniel, dejected, went
back to his beer, the magician had helped the volunteer out of the
rectangular box where she had been laying down. He presented her to the
audience to inspect, free of any saw marks.
"Let's give a hand to our young volunteer," the magician prompted.
The audience gave the young woman a hearty round of applause and she
took a bow, pretending for a moment to double over in pain and hold an
imaginary saw wound on her stomach before righting herself and laughing
with the magician.
Daniel rolled his eyes.
As the applause died down, the magician took off his glasses and began
to clean them.
"Now, tonight's young heckler, rude as he was, was right about
something," the magician said. "I have a confession to make."
Daniel perked up.
"This young woman is not exactly a volunteer," the magician said,
putting a hand on the woman's shoulder. "She's actually my daughter."
"What did I say?" Daniel shouted at no one in particular. "Boooo! Fraud!
Boooo!"
"This young lady is not just my daughter," the magician said, ignoring
Daniel and producing a giant sheet seemingly from out of nowhere. He
flapped it in the air, letting the audience inspect it and threw it over
the young lady so that she was covered from head to toe and was left
looking like Casper the Friendly Ghost. "She's tonight's feature
entertainment. Please give a hand to Dr. Suspendo."
The magician ripped the blanket off the young lady and the audience
gasped.
While the volunteer had moments ago been dressed in a conservative baby
blue sundress with her hair pulled tightly back in a pony-tail, the
woman was now dressed in a outfit fully constructed from shiny black
latex that would not be out of place on a dominatrix. She stood atop
towering stiletto pumps and her hair, jet black, had magically arranged
itself into a lofty beehive hairdo. A whip was wrapped around her waist,
acting like a faux belt. Nothing on her body really needed to be held up
with a belt, though. Her outfit clung to her curvaceous figure like a
glove.
"Thanks daddy," she said. She held her hand up to show that she was
holding nothing. With a flick of her wrist, that changed. She held a
tube of lipstick. After she applied a dark shade of crimson to her lips,
she blew her father a kiss as he gathered his props and left the stage.
Dr. Suspendo turned to the audience and looked at the gathering of
onlookers, as if studying a menagerie of exotic, yet disgusting,
insects.
"Thanks for coming tonight. Before we begin our show, though, I have to
know something. Which one of you was heckling my poor old dad?"
The doctor unfurled the whip that she had previously worn around her
waist and cracked it. The sound echoed throughout the auditorium.
"Come on, honey, speak up. Don't be shy. I just want to have a bit of
fun."
Daniel slowly shrunk back into his chair. Dr. Suspendo was beautiful and
Daniel had always been slightly uncomfortable around beautiful women. It
was more then that, though. There was something else about Dr. Suspendo
that made him slightly uneasy. There was an aura of danger.
He lent forward towards Gloria and whispered into her ear, "I have to go
to the bathroom; I'll be right back."
Gloria in turn shot him a look of surprise. Daniel didn't catch her
expression, though, as he had already gotten up from his chair and had
slowly begun to walk away from the table when he heard Gloria speak up.
"I think that's the asshole you're looking for, Doctor."
Daniel shot a betrayed glance back at Gloria, his eyes wide and nervous.
Gloria shot her tongue back at him.
"Thanks honey," Dr. Suspendo cooed. "Mr. Heckler, you wouldn't mind
joining me on the stage for my first trick, would you? I could use a
volunteer and you look like such a big, strapping young man."
The audience laughed as Daniel looked at the doctor and replied, "Oh,
I'd love to. But I really have to use the bathroom."
"Oh that can wait, hon, this won't take but just take a moment," Dr.
Suspendo said as she cracked her whip again.
"Uh, I guess if it's a short trick I can, uh, take the stage," Daniel
managed to sputter out, his legs shaking.
"That's a sport, sport," the doctor replied.
As Daniel slowly climbed onto the stage, he starred at Dr. Suspendo. She
was much taller then she looked from the audience. With her pumps and
hairdo, she seemed to tower a full foot over Daniel's head. As Daniel
took her in, she gave him a sly smirk and cracked her whip again.
Daniel felt the air move as the whip's tail whizzed by his ear.
"You're not going to hurt me, are you?" he asked.
The audience burst out laughing. Dr. Suspendo joined them before
motioning for Daniel to take a seat in a chair that was at the center of
the stage.
"Not with this thing anyway," Dr. Suspendo said, tossing her whip to the
side of the stage. With a flick of her wrist, the doctor suddenly
produced a medallion out of thin air. She held it up for the audience to
inspect. It was a golden orb that hung from a think chain. It shinned in
the bright glare of the spotlights.
"Who's up for some hypnosis," the doctor asked the audience to a
smattering of applause.
Daniel breathed a sigh of relief.
"Oh thank God, I thought you were going to punish me or something."
"Who said I'm not going to punish you?" Dr. Suspendo said as she glanced
over her shoulder at Daniel.
"You've been a very bad boy."
Daniel laughed.
"Hypnosis doesn't work on me sweetheart."
Slowly Daniel felt some of his beer-fueled confidence begin to flow
back into his system.
"My hypnosis works on everyone, sweetheart," the doctor said, throwing
the word back at Daniel with a sneer.
"Well, gang, what should we do to our loud-mouthed friend? Should we
make him think he's a duck? How about if we unearth some memories of him
being molested as a child?"
The audience began to laugh.
"I'm telling you, sweet tits, hypnosis is a fraud. Nothing you do is
going to make me quack like a duck or make me think my uncle fondled me
- like I want to fondle you."
As Daniel added the last bit, he saw Gloria cover her face in what he
assumed was embarrassment. While he was usually not this coarse in his
language, alcohol had a funny way of bringing out the frat boy in him.
He no longer cared about what his friends thought. This magician had
tried to embarrass him and now it was his turn to play the game.
"Listen, why don't you pick up the whip again and we can play Batman and
Catwoman."
"Are you going to be Catwoman?" Dr. Suspendo asked, one eyebrow raised.
"You're the one who seems to be dressed the part," Daniel shot back.
A few people began to laugh in the audience. He was slowly winning them
over and this only encouraged Daniel.
"I mean, seriously, look at you," Daniel said. "Does your pimp know you
left the house dressed like that?"
The magician blushed as she turned away from the audience and glared at
Daniel.
"You've got quite a mouth on you little boy. It must be all those snips
and snails and puppy dog tails. You could use a little more sugar and
spice and everything that's nice."
Daniel began to laugh as the magician raised her medallion and began to
swing it slowly in front of his face. Dr. Suspendo continued to slowly
swing the medallion as she softly murmured a chant.
Soon Daniel's laughter began to die down and he began to stare blankly
at the magician's medallion, following it with his eyes.
"You are now under my control. You are compelled to do and say anything
I command you to. Is that clear?"
"Yes master," Daniel said, his voice void of any emotion.
Gloria, from the audience, stared in shock at Daniel, his eyes blank and
lifeless.
"Slave, what is your name?" Dr. Suspendo asked Daniel.
"Daniel Huzzbath"
"Daniel, do you know why I'm upset at you?"
"Because I made fun of your father and was very rude to you."
"That's right Daniel. You've been a very bad little boy. Very bad. I
think you would make a much better behaved girl. The world could use
more nice girls and less mean little boys. That's it. I'm decided on the
matter. From this point on, you are going to be a sweet little girl.
You're going to mind your manners and respect your peers. You're going
to empathize with those around you and you're not going to embarrass
your friends anymore."
Dr. Suspendo shot Gloria a quick smile before returning to her hypnosis.
"You're not going to have anytime to misbehave or to be rude because you
are going to be too busy looking pretty and trying to find yourself a
boyfriend. Because that's what sweet little girls like you do, right
Danielle?"
"Yes, ma'am," Daniel said, his voice adopting a high-pitched squeak.
The crowed began to laugh, nervously.
"When I tell you to, you're going to wake up as a well-behaved little
girl. You're going to stand up in front of the audience, curtsey and
then apologize for trying to ruin the show. You may now wake up
Danielle."
Daniel slowly snapped back to consciousness and fluttered his eyes. He
rubbed his face and stared at the crowed in front of him.
"Well, Danielle, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dr. Suspendo
asked.
Daniel turned to look at the doctor and flashed a big, toothy grin.
"What's up Doc? I told you hypnosis didn't work."
The audience burst out laughing. Dr. Suspendo glared at Daniel and then
gave her medallion a puzzled look. She glanced off stage and shouted at
some unseen someone, "Get him out of here!"
A man in a guard uniform walked onto the stage and grabbed Daniel's arm
and began to pull him offstage.
"Good night gang," Daniel shouted at the audience, blowing them a kiss.
"You've been great."
As the guard drug him off-stage, Daniel could hear Dr. Suspendo ask the
audience if they were ready for the real magic.
"Pfff... There's no such thing as real magic," Daniel murmured.
"Doesn't mean you have to be an asshole about it," the guard replied as
he tossed Daniel out the back door. "Get lost, kid."
Gloria steamed as she fished in her purse for her car keys. Unable to
finish watching the show due to her embarrassment, she had told her
friends she was going to the restroom, but once in the lobby had decided
to leave. How could Daniel had behaved this way? Did he not care about
her feelings? Couldn't he have at least pretended to enjoy himself for
the benefit of his best friend? She thought that she meant more then
that to Daniel.
By the time Gloria had made her way to her car, she decided she was
going to kill Daniel the next time she saw him. As it turns out, she
would get her chance sooner then she thought. Daniel was leaning against
her car, grinning wide, proud of himself.
"Did you see what I did in there? I bet that fraud is pissed off right
now that I made her look like a putz. Did it look like she cried a
little?"
Gloria swung her purse and hit him over the head. He groaned in pain,
doubling over.
"What did you do that for?"
"You're worried about her being pissed off?" Gloria screamed. "What
about me? How do you think I felt when I saw my best friend acting like
a class-a jerk on stage in front of everyone?"
"I'm sorry. I guess I drank a little too much. It doesn't mean you had
to hit me with a purse."
"It's my birthday, you asshole. You acted like a jerk on my birthday. I
have every right to hit you with my purse."
Gloria swung her purse at Daniel again. He caught it this time.
"You're supposed to be helping me have a good time - not picking fights
with magicians," Gloria shouted. She paused to take a breath, staring
deeply into Daniel's eyes. "Seriously, Daniel you were a fucking asshole
tonight."
"I told you I didn't want to come!"
"Why did you come, then?"
"Because you asked me to!"
"Is that the only reason why you came? Because I asked you to?"
"Of course it is! Why else would I have come to a freaking magic show?"
"Because you're my friend maybe? How about because you care about me?
Could it be because it was my birthday and maybe, just maybe, because
you owed it to me?"
"I already thanked you for the goddamned Wii."
"I'm not talking about the 'goddamned Wii,' Daniel. You don't realize
it, do you? You don't get it that you broke my heart. You fuck me and
then you act like nothing happened. I put myself out there for you,
believing that we were sharing something special and you refuse to even
talk about it."
"Gloria... I'm sorry. I swear I didn't realize it meant anything to you.
I thought we were just fooling around."
"God, I've had it up to here with you men. It's always just fooling
around for you."
"It meant something to me too, you know. I didn't talk about it because
you never talked about it. You could have brought it up too, you know?"
"You know what, Daniel? You're right. I could have brought it up. But
you know what else? Maybe I shouldn't have to. Maybe you should be able
to tell that I'm in love with you."
Daniel was shocked.
"Sometimes I wish you were a girl. Maybe if that magician had changed
you, you would actually be able to tell what I'm feeling for once. We
could share our emotions with each other and I wouldn't have to wear a
giant billboard advertising my emotions every time I wanted to have a
meaningful conversation with you. I really do. I wish you were my
girlfriend because you obviously have no interest in ever being my
boyfriend."
"Gloria... I..."
Daniel did the same thing he always did when he was lost for words - he
made a joke.
"What happened to you yelling at me about the show tonight? Does this
mean you've forgiven me for embarrassing you?"
"Just shut up Daniel. I don't want to hear any more of your stupid
jokes. I don't want to hear anything from you tonight. You've said
enough."
"I... Gloria. I didn't know. What I mean is that ...."
"I said shut up."
Gloria shoved Daniel aside and got into her car. As Daniel stood, unable
to form the only words that were on his mind, Gloria drove away.
Daniel, alone in the parking lot finally managed to release the emotion
that been wedged in his throat.
"I love you too, Gloria."
To be continued...
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