A Ballet Tale 3: Center Stage free porn video

A Ballet Tale 3: Center Stage Belladonna [I never intended to write this story, but the ideas just flowed out for it. This will probably be the last continuation of Phillip's story.] There was a buzz around the theater as all the dancers got ready for another day of work. It was the day of Emma Livry's last dance with the company. Although her legendary talents had diminished with age, she remained the most respected dancer in the company. Emma was scheduled to dance the lead in Giselle once last time. Despite the fact that she was much older than the character she was portraying, it was not something that even the local arts' critics dwelled on for long. Everyone in the company that was cast in the production knew that their performance had to be perfect. While that demand was always present, the dancers felt an even greater responsibility given the significance of the performance. The company's dancers arrived early to give Emma a round of applause before they began their daily barre exercises. After the applause ended, Alexander directed the dancers to the barre for their morning exercises. Phillip took his customary place beside Carlotta at the barre. As the dancers followed Alexander's instructions, Carlotta and Phillip had their habitual quiet conversation as they performed their exercises. Phillip and Carlotta's relationship had blossomed. Phillip spent most of his time outside of the theater at Carlotta's apartment and often spent the night there. Carlotta asked Phillip to move in with her, but he was reluctant to do so. Phillip feared that if Carlotta's parents found out that he had moved in with her, they might cut her off. Carlotta explained to Phillip that he had did not have to harbor such concerns because her parents lived on the other side of the world. While her words swayed Phillip somewhat, he was still reluctant to move in with her. As much as he loved her and enjoyed her company, he was afraid that they were moving too quickly and that such a move might jeopardize their still nascent relationship. Marie had her own concerns about her son's relationship with Carlotta. Marie felt that Carlotta was holding her son back. She believed that Phillip would be better served by trying to move on to a more prestigious company where the board of director's would not feel the need to have him dance female roles to increase revenues. Marie knew that her son's relationship with Carlotta was mooring him to the company. Phillip would never become a star danseur if he stayed at the company, as Marie well knew. Marie understood that if Phillip remained at her company he would never be anything more than a big fish in a small pond. If he moved on to a larger, more prestigious company, he could make a name for himself in the ballet world. Despite her concerns about her son's relationship, Marie did not voice them. She knew that if she told Phillip about them, it would risk alienating him from her. From her conversations with Phillip, she understood the depth of his affection for Carlotta. Marie believed that she would be jeopardizing her good relationship with her son if she ever told Phillip that she felt that Carlotta was holding him back. As they finished their morning barre exercises, the company's dancers moved on to their morning floor exercises that were scheduled before their rehearsals. Carlotta smiled as the waited to do their exercises and said, "Fanny, have you thought about my offer?" Despite their romantic relationship, Carlotta always referred to Phillip as Fanny no matter how he was dressed. While she considered him to be her boyfriend, she had become accustomed to calling Fanny just as every other dancer at the company had. There was no one in the company that ever called him Phillip except for his mother. Phillip answered Carlotta, "Yes, I'm still not sure." "Why? I thought you liked spending time with me." "I do, but there's part of me that's not sure how my mom will take it." "She's a grown woman. She handled your sister leaving." "That's true, but if I left, she's all alone." "I'm sure she expected to live alone at some point, Fanny, and, anyway, if she didn't, you can't live your life around your mother's expectations." Phillip paused before he said, "I know, but there's other things." "Like what?" Carlotta asked while giving an inquisitive glance as they performed a demi-plie. "Well, what if your parents find out if I moved in?" "What of it?" Carlotta asked. "Don't you think your parents might be a little upset with you, if you let a boy move into an apartment they pay for?" Carlotta smiled and said, "They'd never find out." "How do you figure?" "We're too smart to let that happen." "How can you be sure about that?" "Listen, Fanny, don't worry about them. Again, they're on the other side of the world. They're not going to be dropping in on me. They call, but that's it. All you have to do is not answer the apartment phone, and we'll be good." Phillip smiled at her as she successfully shot holes through more of his excuses. Phillip went to formulate another, but his attempt was cut short. Alexander told Phillip to walk up by him to do a floor exercise. He performed all the required steps with the skillful ease he was noted for. Pangs of jealousy ran threw some of the other male dancers as they heard Alexander praise Phillip. Phillip was one of a handful of dancers in the company to have ever received a word of praise from the hardened Russian instructor. Alexander then had the others perform floor exercises. Before they ceased, Marie called for the company's attention. She proceeded lavished praise on Emma who received yet another round of applause for her years of dancing. Emma thanked the company and Alexander went back to instructing the company. As the floor exercises ended and the company moved on to preparing for performances, Lucile walked by Phillip and said, "Fancy dancing, faggot." Lucile's two companions laughed at her remark. The two lackeys had leeched onto Lucile because they were upset about losing out on female roles to Phillip. That was something that Phillip actually understood. He felt that if he was a female soloist being passed over for a part in favor of male danseur, he would be upset too. The two soloists were named Simone and Olga. Simone was the most vocal about her displeasure of losing out on roles to Phillip. None of the instructors reprimanded her for her words, which were often critical solely of the board. Like Phillip, all of the instructors understood where she was coming from. Olga was less vocal about her displeasure. However, her decision to associate herself with Simone and Lucile made her displeasure known to the entire company. Phillip had become skilled at ignoring Lucile and her two minions. Carlotta, however, frequently felt the need to come to his defense. While Phillip just let what they said roll off him, Carlotta felt that she often had to strike back at them with her own words. Her words did not change the way Lucile, Simone and Olga behaved. Phillip knew that simple words would have no effect on their behavior, so he saw no reason to respond to their mockery. The others dancers helped out in that regard anyway. The company's dancers had largely split into two groups, those that supported Lucile and those that supported Phillip. Phillip received support from most of the danseurs as well as virtually all of the ballerinas. While most of the female dancers were as upset about losing parts to Phillip as Simone and Olga were, they respected him for his talent and harbored animosity to Lucile. Indeed the widespread hatred of Lucile resulted in many of the dancers coming to Phillip's defense whenever she opened her mouth around him. Lucile's questioning of Phillip's masculinity infuriated the homosexual dancers who rallied around Phillip even though they knew that he was not gay. Most of the female dancers and many of the danseurs had been mistreated by Lucile in someway or another since she had become a principal ballerina at the company. There were also a few danseurs and ballerinas that did not favor either Phillip or Lucile, but they were a distinct minority in the company. Phillip frowned at Lucile's juvenile words and shook his head as Carlotta walked over and said, "What did that bitch say to you?" Phillip replied, "Nothing worth repeating." Carlotta was going to snap at Lucile, but Phillip put his hand on her shoulder and said, "That bitch ain't worth it." Carlota sucked her lips into her mouth and nodded at Phillip. She walked beside Phillip as they went to eat lunch before they went to practice for the night's performance. They were both cast in the production in secondary roles. Phillip was cast as Hilarion while Carlota was cast as Bathilde. They practiced all afternoon for their roles before they started getting ready for the show. After they both dressed in their costumes, Carlotta and Phillip met up and began to talk before the show. Phillip noticed that Carlotta's long red dress was not hanging right. He reached over and helped properly situate the dress while Carlotta did her makeup. As Carlotta thanked him, Lucile walked by with Simone and Olga. Simone smirked about what she had seen Phillip do. She stopped and said, "I see you need Fanny to get you ready for a part, Carlotta. It's no shock. She's more of a girl than you'll ever be." "Maybe so, but at least I've danced more than one named part unlike you," Carlotta snapped. "That's only because you're dating the freak." "Fanny is not a freak!" "A man named Fanny, sounds like a freak to me," Lucile interjected. Olga snickered in response after a short delay. Phillip shook his head and responded, "Carlotta has earned everything she's gotten. My mother wouldn't cast her just to please me. That'd be career suicide if she wasn't good enough to the parts." Carlotta smiled at Phillip and placed her hand on her shoulder. "And what's this I heard about you wanting Fanny to move in, Carlotta?" Lucile asked. "What's it to you?" Carlotta retorted. "Nothing, but I can't help but notice that he hasn't said yes." "Your point is?" "What kind of man, to use the word liberally, would ever turn down a chance to share a bed with a girl like you? I don't think you're his type." "I am so. You don't know what you're missing with...." Simone interjected, "Whatever, your sissy boyfriend is too much of a mommy's boy or girl to ever move in with a girl. You'll never get him to go beyond sleepovers and makeovers." Carlotta went to respond, but Marie walked into the room. The whole room fell quiet and everyone finished getting ready for the performance. The company's production went off without a problem. The roles were all danced expertly before the final curtain dropped. Emma took her last bouquet and received a long, warm ovation for her years of dancing. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Shortly after Emma retired, Phillip was promoted within the company to a position as a principal danseur. The promotion was well received as the company's dancers uniformly believed that Phillip deserved it. Phillip was happy about the promotion because it essentially assured that he would continue to receive significant parts in the company's productions. The promotion was not the only change in Phillip's life. Not long after he was promoted, Phillip accepted Carlotta's offer to move in with her. Phillip's initial worries about moving into her apartment proved unfounded. He found that the increased period of time they spent together did not strain their relationship. Instead, it seemed to reinforce it since they both genuinely enjoyed the others' company. Carlotta was happy to have someone to share her nights with while Phillip was happy to finally not to have to comply with his mother's curfew. Marie was upset when Phillip told her that he was moving in with Carlotta. Marie understood that she was losing control over her son. While she knew that that would eventually happen and once looked forward to it when she hoped that he would join another company, she was more than a little saddened by the fact that she was now going to be living alone for the first time in her life. Marie had gone straight from her parents' home into a dancing company where she lived with other dancers. She then lived with Phillip's father until their divorce. After that, she had lived with her children. Marie knew that living on her own was going to take some getting used to be. As much as she wanted to plead with Phillip to stay with her, she knew that it would just be delaying the inevitable. Marie knew that she had to accept that Phillip's decision to leave home was just a part of his growing up. Marie acted happy when the moving day came. She helped her son pack up his belongings and helped transport them over to Carlotta's apartment. As upset as she was, Marie did not let on about it. After she left, Phillip unpacked his belongings with Carlotta. She set him up with his own closet in the living room. Phillip hung up his clothing there and took to being the man of the apartment. However, Phillip did not live exclusively as Carlotta's boyfriend in her apartment. Carlotta encouraged him to explore being Fanny outside of the theater as well. Phillip was a little surprised by this development at first. He knew that Carlotta only seemed physically attracted to him when he was dressed in men's clothing. Consequently, he was confused by why Carlotta would encourage him to dress up. Phillip did not question it however. He decided that ignorance was the best course of action given how much he enjoyed his time en femme with Carlotta. Carlotta genuinely enjoyed that time as well. Shortly after Phillip moved in, she dressed him up in her clothing and went shopping with him. Phillip bought the clothing that Carlotta suggested he buy. It was a collection of around the home wear and clothes to go out together in as girlfriends. While Phillip did not understand why Carlotta would encourage him to dress up at first, Carlotta was no longer confused by her reasons. Carlotta loved Phillip physically, but she especially loved his feminine side that was even more pronounced when he was en femme. Phillip was always Carlotta's friend regardless of the clothes he was wearing, but he seemed to relate better to her in some ways when he dressed as a woman. When Phillip put on female clothing, he seemed to be much more willing to discuss the other girls in the company on a personal level. Carlotta also knew that he was more willing to go shopping with her when he dressed up as well. Since her girlfriends of her youth were thousands of miles away, Carlotta had a need for a girlfriend she could shop with. Phillip was more than willing to play that part. Carlotta found that she was happy to let him too. Phillip and Carlotta would go out shopping on a weekly basis. Every time they went shopping, Phillip would go out en femme regardless of whether they were shopping for clothes for Carlotta or food and supplies for the apartment. Phillip felt at ease as he shopped with Carlotta despite being mostly surrounded by women. Appearing to be a girl himself made Phillip feel more comfortable in those situations. Carlotta also enjoyed dressing Phillip up from time to time. It made Phillip feel like he was her doll at times. However, Phillip did not find that to be objectionable. Carlotta had another reason for dressing him up as well. While she enjoyed Phillip's company when he was dressed as Fanny, she was also happy to be free of her sexual urges for him during that time. Carlotta would go out of her way to convince Phillip to dress up in his "Fanny" clothing whenever she needed to concentrate on her dancing. Seeing her boyfriend dressed as Fanny helped clear Carlotta's mind of her usual lust consumed thoughts and let her focus on her craft. Phillip eventually came to understand the last reason that Carlotta liked to have him dress up. He understood her need to concentrate on her dancing so he played along with it. He would sometimes pretend to resist to frustrate Carlotta before he would eventually give into dressing en femme. It was not something he needed much prodding to do anyway. While he enjoyed dressing up, he also found that it helped him concentrate as much as it helped Carlotta. After the initial surge of pleasure he felt from his feminine clothing past, Phillip would feel more himself as he relaxed and went out en femme. While he had less difficulty focusing on his dancing than Carlotta that still did not stop him from claiming to Carlotta that periodic cross-dressing helped him focus. Given her own reasons to get him to cross-dress, Carlotta understood. Carlotta also came to realize that Phillip knew that his cross-dressing helped her concentrate even though she never told him. She noticed that Phillip took it upon himself to cross-dress whenever she had difficulty learning dancing steps. When she had trouble, he would lounge around the apartment in girl's sweats and t-shirts over his padded bras while he gave her advice on dancing. She was happy to get it. During those times, Phillip even dressed himself in girl's pajamas when they slept together. Although Phillip knew that dressing in those pajamas would invariably mean no sex that night, he was happy enough to help Carlotta clear her mind. Settling for cuddling was not something that gave Phillip any shame. Even when Carlotta did not need to concentrate, Phillip found ways to get his own fix of cross-dressing in a manner that did not turn off Carlotta sexually. Phillip frequently took to wearing unisexual jeans and girls graphic t-shirts around the apartment and when he went to work at the company. Some of the other dancers recognized the shirts from the ladies departments of local stores and asked Phillip why he was wearing them. While Phillip actually preferred them given how they fit his natural shape better, he told them that he was trying to experiment with a glam style. The first time she heard Phillip make that claim, Carlotta broke into laughter. Phillip blushed because the laughter told the inquiring dancer that Phillip was likely doing more than just trying to obtain a slightly girlish appearance. Carlotta was not bothered by Phillip's choice in clothing. Given that the clothing was not unambiguously feminine and the absence of makeup from Phillip's face, Carlotta's attraction to Phillip was not hindered by the clothing. She found him attractive in it since it showed off the shape of his body without making him look too much like a woman. Although she knew that the shape of his body was girlish for a man that did not prevent her from being attracted to it for reasons she had given up trying to understand. Regardless of Carlotta's acceptance of his clothing choices, Phillip found that maintaining such little touches of femininity in his daily wardrobe helped keep in the right frame of mind as he prepared to dance another female role for the company. Given the increased ticket sales that accompanied Phillip's prior turns dancing the role of a ballerina, the company's board of directors insisted that Marie cast him in a female role again. Marie tried to resist them and flatly turned down their request for the first time before the entire board threatened her with repercussions if she failed to at least ask her son if he was willing to dance a significant female role. Knowing the precarious nature of her position with the company, Marie felt that she had no choice but to comply. Marie was unhappy about having to do it. While she herself was the reason her son was ever cast in a female role, she felt that the reasons she had done it did not apply. The first time it was out of the need to preserve her position, the second time it was to try to get more out of her ballerinas. However, the reason the board ordered her to cast in him in a female role was purely for the financial gain of the company. Marie felt that by casting him in a female role she was taking it away from a deserving ballerina and was hindering her son's progression as a danseur. While she had trained him to be a skilled dancer en pointe, her main goal for him was to be a lead danseur. She did not want him to be reduced to a gender-bending novelty act. Although Marie was unhappy about asking Phillip to take on another female role, he happily accepted it. He enjoyed the challenge of dancing a ballerina's part. He eagerly waited to find out what role his mother was going to give him. Marie eventually decided to cast him as Henrietta in the company's production of Raymonda. Phillip accepted the role with some unease. The role was the most challenging female role he had ever been cast to dance. While he was sure he could do it, he knew the role would take more time to learn than any other than he had done before. The company's female soloists were upset by Marie's decision to cast Phillip as Henrietta. Marie understood their anger and explained to the entire company that it was the board that requested that Phillip dance the part. The company's dancers understood the position she was in so they did not hold it against her. Most of the dancers did not hold it against Phillip either, except for Lucile and her two lackeys. Lucile was cast in the ballet as the lead, Raymonda. Marie decided to put her in the same cast of the production as well. Lucile knew that Marie did it just to retaliate against her for her treatment of her son. The choice of the ballet and the role seemed to be designed to infuriate her. Henrietta was Raymonda's friend during the ballet, and Marie chose two enemies to dance the roles in the same production. Lucile knew that Marie was trying to put her finger in her eye and wanted to strike back at her. Olga and Simone continued complaining about Phillip's casting for the role even after Marie informed everyone in the company of the reason why. Marie did not crack down on them because she did not want to appear to be favoring her son. However, Alexander had no problem scolding them more often than he usually did. He actually relished it. Alexander also suggested demoting Simone from the role of Sybille de Doris, but Marie did not want to appear to have wavered on the casting. She decided the roles were firmly set with Lucile and Simone dancing named roles and Olga dancing with the corps as one of the nameless female parts. While Phillip was preparing for his role in Raymonda, he was also getting ready to see his sister again for the first time in two years. Emma was coming into the country with her company, which was in the middle of touring the world. They had recently finished a trip across Asia, Australia and New Zealand. Emma had secured a day off as the company settled in to dance a few shows in a city that was only two hours away from the theater. Marie was ecstatic about seeing her daughter, and Phillip was excited as well. However, Phillip had slight reservations about seeing her. The last time Emma saw him, Phillip had been living as a teenage boy who overcompensated because his masculinity had been questioned because of his dancing. When Emma last saw Phillip, he was no longer dancing. Phillip had vocally renounced his interest in ballet and told his sister he considered it girl's stuff. He knew that he had been mistaken, and he knew that he had changed greatly since that day. Phillip was well aware that many of the changes he had undergone would be immediately visible to Emma when she saw him. Emma was scheduled to meet him and his mother at the theater while Phillip did his exercises and rehearsed with the company. Phillip knew that that could prove quite a sight for Emma. As part of the rehearsal for Raymonda, Phillip had to wear a practice tutu. While Emma had seen dance en pointe when they were younger she had never seen him dressed in a piece of a woman's clothing. Phillip was also well aware that his own wardrobe had become more effeminate since she last saw him. His manner of dressing was not remotely close to what it used to be. Before he strived to convey his masculinity through his clothing, now he was fond of wearing unisexual jeans and pants that were paired with girls t-shirts or unisexual tops. While Phillip had remained in contact with Emma during their two years apart, he knew that she could not possibly be aware of every change that had overtaken him. He had told her that he was dancing parts that were traditionally danced by ballerinas. His mother had informed her of this as well. Phillip knew that Emma had seen pictures of him dressed in ballet dresses and pointe shoes on the internet. Emma had even complemented his appearance in one of the promotional pictures for the company's earlier Pas De Quatre production. However, Phillip felt that seeing him dressed so girlishly in person would be something that would be considerably different for them both. Phillip went to the theater that morning dressed as he normally did. He walked in beside Carlotta as usual. He prepared himself for his barre and floor exercises and performed them alongside Carlotta and the other dancers. After lunch, Phillip went to practice for the company's performance of Raymonda. He put on the black practice tutu before he went out to rehearse with the company. As Alexander had him practice one of Henrietta's solos, Phillip caught sight of his sister standing beside his mother. Not wanting to infuriate his instructor, Phillip continued to dance the piece and did not dare to go over towards his family until Alexander permitted him to. Emma watched her brother dance on the stage in a black leotard and classical pancake tutu with a slightly opened mouth. She watched as he danced the complicated steps with an ease and poise that she did not possess. The old jealousies she harbored against her brother reemerged in her. They were benign jealousies, however. They were rooted in the simple facts that she had come to accept. She knew from a young age that it was her brother and not her who had the brightest potential future in ballet. While she knew that her best would only land her a job in the corps her brother could go much farther. She watched wistfully as he danced. She wished that dancing came as naturally to her as it did to him, but she knew that it never would. In her youth, Emma sometimes held her brother's greater talent against him. She did not like to be outshined at primarily female dominated art form by her little brother. However, those feelings were always outweighed by her love for him. After her father left them, Phillip helped console her as much as he could. They had maintained a close relationship as their mother relentlessly trained them as children to achieve what she never did. While Emma sometimes felt bitter about the disappointment she felt Marie had regarding her talents as Marie would simultaneously praise her brother's, she never held that against him. She knew that fate had smiled more kindly upon her brother, so she encouraged him as well. Phillip's decision to quit ballet weighed upon her for a period of time. It was not as momentarily destructive as it was on Marie, but it played on her mind. Like her mother, she felt that Phillip was throwing away his talent. She had been greatly pleased when she found out that he had returned to the world of ballet. Her feelings about her brother being cast in female roles were decidedly mixed, however. Emma was a bit concerned at first that his mother was abusing his talents and potentially forcing him to remain in ballet by making him go out in public as a ballerina. She was sure that such actions were alienating Phillip from the friendships and stereotypical male pursuits he had adopted after he quit dancing. However, her conversations with Phillip and Marie quickly made her realize such assumptions were faulty. In fact, she began to realize that Phillip was much happier to be dancing female roles than Marie was to be casting him in them. Emma tried to be supportive of her brother's dancing of female roles, but part of her wondered if he was just a sideshow freak for the producers to make money off of. However, as she watched him dance on stage, she realized that it was not that simple. He actually could master the difficult choreography. From the steps, pirouettes, extensions and cha?n?s turns to the positioning of his slender arms, he seemed to do everything as perfectly as most ballerinas could. She had difficulty believing that she was watching a man even though she knew the dancer was her brother. While she never doubted her brother's talent, she was shocked by how good he was at female roles in addition to male ones. Emma shook her head as she realized that he was far superior at dancing female roles than she was or ever could be. Her brother's talents were not the only thing that surprised Emma as she watched him dance. She was surprised by how feminine he looked without makeup on. With his hair tied up in a ballet bun and wearing the clothing of a ballerina, Phillip looked like any other ballerina up on stage. She realized that if he was that convincing without makeup, he probably was as convincing with makeup as he appeared in the online pictures. "What do you think of him?" Marie asked Emma as Phillip finished dancing. "She's wonderful," Emma replied, half in a daze. "He. He," Marie repeated forcefully, but quietly to her daughter. Emma nodded slowly before Phillip rushed over and hugged her with some difficulty as the tutu helped keep some distance between their lower bodies. Emma was a little surprised by his appearance up close. She felt that he looked like a girl without makeup as he approached her. Eventually, she was able to move her arms around his body and felt the familiar feeling of a soft cotton/Lycra blend leotard. "You look great. How was your trip," Phillip said. Emma replied, "It's was great. You look fantastic, Phillip." "Thanks," Phillip replied before he added, "How's your tour going?" "It's going good. And how's your rehearsal going today?" "Good, so far." "It definitely looked that way," Emma responded. Phillip went to say something else, but Alexander called him back over. Phillip knew that Alexander did not tolerate outside distractions when rehearsals were going on. "We'll catch up later," Phillip said as he leaned over and kissed his sister's cheek. "Yes, later," Emma replied with a smile. She watched her brother walk back over to the other dancers. She saw him point her out to another dancer. Emma asked her mother, "Who is the dancer with her?" "That's Carlotta." "That's Carlotta?" Emma asked loudly for clarification. She did not see how such a beautiful girl would go with such an effeminate boy. However, she quickly realized that everyone has their own preferences in their sexual partners. Marie nodded and said, "That's her." "Mom, do you mind if I sit and watch the rehearsal for a little bit?" Marie shook her head and said, "No. I've got some work to do anyway. We can talk later, dear." "Thanks mom," Emma said as she took a seat and watched the company's dancers practice their parts. Each of the dancers practiced their parts for the upcoming performance. Eventually, Phillip had to dance a significant part once more. Emma watched closely as Phillip danced the role. As he made his way towards Simone, she noticed that Simone looked a little strange. With Phillip en pointe, Simone fell onto him. Phillip crashed to the stage. Carlotta and the other dancers rushed over as Alexander stared at Simone with a lock of shock and dismay. Simone noticed the appearance of an expression on the usually stern faced man and said, "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I just feel light headed." Emma rushed onto the stage to see if her brother was all right and heard Simone's words. She did not believe them for a second. Neither did Alexander. However, he chose to do nothing but tell Simone to go and get something to eat. Emma and Alexander both caught a fleeting smile come across Lucile's face as Emma made her way towards her brother. Emma just thought the girl was hard hearted, Alexander, however, understood the underlying truth of what he had just seen. He had seen sabotage during his days in Soviet ballet companies. As the company's dancers gathered around Phillip, Lucile managed to fake a shocked and concerned look when Phillip began to massage his leg that hurt him terribly. Alexander peered over at Lucile and noted that the poor acting job she was doing. It was the one time he was happy about it. Lucile had been frequently criticized by Clive and other critics for being a poor actress whose facial expressions failed to equal her dancing talents. Alexander and the other ballet masters and mistresses had tried to teach her how to act, but Alexander was happy at the moment that she had been such a poor student in that area. Carlotta asked, "Are you all right?" "I'm fine," Phillip said through gritted teeth as he clutched his leg. He stood up with some difficultly prompting some of the danseurs to develop a new appreciation for his toughness. As he stood up and flexed his leg, more than a few of the dancers looked over at Lucile certain that she was behind Simone's poorly disguised attempt to hurt Phillip. Alexander was disgusted by what he had seen. He wanted to call Lucile out on it, but he had no proof that she was behind it. Simone then walked back in and went to take her place with the other dancers. "Why are you here?" Alexander asked Simone sternly. "I had something to eat, sir. I feel much better," Simone replied in a low voice. "Go home for the day. We cannot afford your weakness causing you to fall and injure another dancer." "No, sir, I'm..." "Go!" Simone did not dare to defy Alexander's orders. She walked off the stage and went to get changed. Alexander looked at Phillip and asked, "Can you dance?" Phillip managed to force a smile onto his face despite the pain. He then replied, "I'm ready, Master Nizhinksiy." "Good, then finish your dance." Phillip finished dancing the complicated steps while never letting the forced smile on his face go away. He successfully hid the pain he felt as he danced. Part of him knew that Lucile was behind Simone's claimed lightheadedness. He was determined not to let her win no matter how much physical pain he felt emanating from his bruised shin. When he finished his steps, Alexander praised him before Lucile began to dance. When she finished one solo, Alexander heaped scorn on her that her performance did not call for. Most of the company, understood the real reason behind Alexander's cutting critique of Lucile. The entire performance was rehearsed before the company's day of practice drew near its end. Carlotta followed Phillip towards the dressing rooms after practice ended. They briefly parted to get changed into their street clothes they brought to go out to dinner in. After finishing up in the dressing room, Phillip met up with his sister, mother and Carlotta to go to dinner with them. Marie and Carlotta did not blink at his clothing choice, but Emma was stunned. She looked over his tight jeans and the girls graphic t-shirt he was wearing. She was used to him wearing baggy jeans and asked, "What happened to your wigga, gangster jeans?" "I got rid of them. I didn't feel they were me," Phillip said. Emma nodded slowly and looked at Phillip's black, long-sleeved t-shirt, which was decorated with sequins and beaded details on the front. She said, "I like that shirt." "Thanks." "I think I have one like it," she added with a smile that told Phillip that she knew it was from the ladies department. Phillip smirked and asked, "Can you pull it off as well as me?" Emma went to respond, but Marie had enough hearing about how her son had taken to wearing girls shirts. She grabbed Emma's shoulder before she could say a word and said, "Come along dear. You two can talk on the way to the restaurant. We have reservations, so we have to leave now." They walked to the nearby restaurant and were promptly seated. The waiter took their orders and told them he would be back shortly with their drinks. Phillip and Emma chatted about Phillip's rise in the company. Phillip tried to incorporate Carlotta into the conversation, but she was happy enough to stay out of the siblings' exchange. Emma had asked Phillip how he liked dancing a woman's role before, but as she talked with him she began to understand that there was more to what he was doing than that. She realized that he was partly living his life as a woman based on the little slips Phillip made about his cross- dressing affairs with Carlotta that were primarily directed at his mother. Phillip was quite aware that his mother did not like his cross- dressing outside of the company or even within it, but he figured he had to find a way to make her get used to it because he was not going to stop doing it. As Emma heard her brother admit to going clothes shopping en femme, she felt compelled to ask, "Well, how do you enjoy wearing girl's..." Emma cut herself, not sure if a restaurant was the proper venue for the question. Phillip answered anyway, "I love it." Phillip clutched Carlotta's hand and continued, "We both love it. It makes me feel good about myself to go out and do things with Carlotta without people looking at me like I'm nuts. Also the clothes have a pretty nice feel to them too. That's why I wear this type of t-shirt. It just feels so good. You wouldn't understand because you've always worn comfortable clothes." "Look, Phillip, speaking as someone who's wearing high heels and has worn them for years, I don't want to hear a word about how women don't understand how comfortable the stuff in their wardrobe is," Emma replied. Phillip smiled and said, "Fine." Carlotta then asked Emma, "Well, what do you think of your brother?" "What do you mean? Are you talking about his dancing or his..." "Everything," Carlotta interjected. "I think he's a great dancer. He's a lot better than me at a girl's role, and he's had a bit of handicap there to overcome." "What about his appearance. Isn't he so cute," Carlotta asked as she kissed his cheek. "Well, I don't know if Phillip is cute. It's sister bias I suppose. I can't think of him in those terms. I did think she was very pretty on stage." "She?" Carlotta asked out of confusion. Marie peered over at her daughter, bothered by her choice of gender pronoun. She believed it was intentional, even though it was not. Emma smirked and said, "I'm sorry. I meant Phillip. He looked very pretty up there." "You find your brother pretty, but you don't think he's cute?" Carlotta asked with a laugh. Emma blushed and admitted, "Well, when I saw him up there. He didn't seem like my brother. He just looked like any other ballerina. He seemed like a stranger to me when he was wearing that tutu. I guess it gave me some distance to see him as pretty, but when he's here beside me looking a little more boyish, I can't think of him as anything except my brother. I think he looks better as a woman than a man, but, again, that's probably sister bias." Marie's jaw dropped a little as she listened to her daughter inform them all that she thought her son made a better woman than a man. She wanted to interject, but Carlotta replied, "I don't think that's true. While I think he's definitely cute as a girl, I think he makes a better guy than a girl. What do you think, Marie?" Marie hurried to answer, "I definitely agree with you, Carlotta." "Well, what do you think, Phillip?" Emma asked. "I'm with Carlotta, although I'm not the best judge of my own looks as my Mohawk phase might have indicated." Emma and Carlotta then began to dominate the conversation. Emma quickly became as impressed with Carlotta on personal level as she was of her dancing. Emma had found that Carlotta was a greatly gifted dancer, almost as gifted as her brother. It came as no shock to her that Carlotta worked on her dancing with her brother extensively. Carlotta's natural affableness made it obvious to her why her brother enjoyed spending so much time with her. Emma wished that she could find someone that she was such a good fit with. Emma thought she spotted that man as she looked up at the waiter walking back over to their table carrying the drinks. She found the man to be very attractive, and he seemed to be staring in her general direction. The man came over to the table and placed Carlotta's drink down first, then Marie's and then Emma's. "Is there anything else I can get for you, sir?" the waiter asked as he placed the last drink on the table in front of Phillip. Phillip looked at the handsome, smiling young man who rubbed the back of his neck. Emma's mouth dropped a little as she realized what the waiter was doing. Phillip realized too and said, "Oh, I'm very flattered, but I'm not...you know." The man was a little taken aback. He was certain that Phillip was gay given his clothing. He hurriedly responded, "I'm very sorry, sir. I'm usually careful like that. I've never been wrong..." "First time for everything," Phillip said as he blushed and took a sip of his drink. Emma peered over at Carlotta who appeared unconcerned about Phillip's brief conversation with the waiter. As the waiter walked away, Emma cursed in her mind, 'Why are the hot ones always gay!' Feeling the need to change up the conversation, Emma said, "Phillip, I was talking with Dad the other day. He really wants to see you." "Good for him," Phillip said in an emotionless voice. "Have you given any thought to seeing him?" "No. It's not something I'd ever willing do." "Come on, Phillip. I forgave him. Why can't you?" "Emma, you were older when he left. You remember him better than I do. To me, he was just a guy who passed through my life when I was younger. He wasn't anything more to me than that." "But he's your father..." "Biologically, Emma, and nothing more. He gave up the right to see me when he left us." "Phillip, just give him a day. He could help you out. He could help get you into a premier company. He helped me get into one, and I'm not as good as you." "I'll pass," Phillip countered. Marie felt the need to interject. As much as she hated her ex-husband, she knew that Emma was right. She knew that her husband had made a lot of contacts during his storied career and could help Phillip achieve what she wanted him too. Phillip's father could get him the audition he needed to become a danseur at a top company where he would not be cast in female roles in the interest of increased revenues. Marie looked at her son and said, "You should hear your father out. He could get you an audition with a big city company. You could dance all around the world to big crowds. Our tours are nothing like the big companies do. The big ones draw crowds that just dwarf ours. You've really have to experience it, Phillip." Phillip shook his head and told his mother, "I've never really cared about that, Mom. You know that. I'm happy here." Marie watched with a look of slight displeasure on her face as Phillip took hold of Carlotta's hand and kissed her cheek. As much as she personally liked Carlotta and hated herself for thinking it, she knew that Carlotta was holding her son back. Their meals finally came, and they all chatted with each other as they ate. After they finished eating, Phillip and Emma shared a long hug before they parted. Phillip knew that Emma had to go back to her company the following morning. He wished her good luck on the rest of her company's tour. Emma wished him and Carlotta good luck on their performances. Phillip and Carlotta then headed back to their apartment. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The date of the company's final performance of Raymonda arrived with little fanfare. The production had received stellar reviews from the local arts' critics. Clive was especially enamored with Phillip's performance as Henrietta while he maintained his normal criticism of Lucile's acting abilities. While the production had run in the red like most of their productions besides The Nutcracker, the production had lost less money than any of the others performed that year. The board knew that the reason for increased ticket sales was Phillip's casting in a significant female role. Marie knew it too. She was slightly upset by the continued success of Phillip in female roles because she knew that it meant the board would request that he continue to dance those roles. The high likelihood of Phillip being asked to dance another female role was not thing causing her the most concern that day though. Alexander and Emma had both informed her about what they had seen when Simone fell onto Phillip as he danced. Marie knew that she had to take action against Simone and Lucile, but she knew that she would have to get the board of director's permission first given Lucile's status as one of the company's most well regarded ballerinas. Marie wanted to provide swift and severe punishment against both of them. She knew that she could not tolerate dancers trying to hurt one another, especially by undertaking activities that could cause leg injuries. Such acts not only risked dancer's careers, but allowing them to go unpunished could send a message to the company that such actions were acceptable. Such a message would likely hurt the company's morale. While Simone and Lucile's actions called for sever punishment, Marie knew that she could not punish them right away when she found out. The production of Raymonda was too close at hand for her to replace the lead role and one of the main secondary roles as well. She knew that she could not recast the roles on such short notice. They were simply too complicated for dancers to learn in such a short time. Marie's first act of reprisal against them was to not cast them in a named role in any of the company's upcoming performances. While Simone let her disapproval go unvoiced, Lucile was very vocal about her displeasure with the casting. Lucile was in better position to complain because she was well known within the arts' community while Simone was only a soloist. Neither one of them knew Marie's real plan, however. Marie had gone before the board of directors with Alexander. Alexander informed the board of what he had seen. Knowing that Phillip was more valuable when it came to putting people in the seats than Lucile, the board agreed with Marie that severe punishment was required. They told her to handle the situation as she saw fit. Marie was surprised because she had never been given such wide latitude by the board when it came to dealing with the company's more established ballerinas. The company was also not the only area of Marie's life that was changing at the time. Marie's private life under went a change when she decided that it was time to move. She decided to sell her home and downsize from a three bedroom, two-story house to a two bedroom, one-story house. Marie no longer saw the need to maintain a two story house given that she was now living alone. She decided she needed only one guest bedroom for when Emma came to visit or if Phillip decided to move back in. Phillip had no intentions of ever moving back in with his mother, however. His relationship with Carlotta was as solid as ever and he could not imagine living without her. Despite the happiness he felt with Carlotta, Phillip was saddened to see his mother move out of his childhood home. Phillip, however, understood that it was in his mother's best financial interest to downsize. The night of the dance, Phillip got ready beside Carlotta. Carlotta was in the second cast of Raymonda. So she was there only to provide help to Phillip. Phillip dressed in his pink tights before he placed on the first of the two dresses he would be wearing that night. The dress was primarily dark green with lace sleeves and had a classical tutu at the bottom. It had a gold bodice and the layers of the tutu alternated between dark green and gold. Phillip placed on his costume necklace before his hair was styled by the company's in-house stylist. The dance went on before a rare sell out crowd. Phillip saw the curtain rise and waited to make his first required steps on the stage. Carlotta watched from the side of the stage as her boyfriend seemed to make every difficult step and turn look easy. She marveled at him and, for a second, she could not believe that the epitome of fragile grace before her was her boyfriend. At that moment, she understood how Emma felt watching her brother when he danced the role of ballerina; Phillip seemed to be someone else to her. As Phillip changed costumes between the acts and placed on a red and black version of the same dress he was wearing, Carlotta told him that he was wonderful. Phillip thanked her as he checked the layers of tulle in his tutu. She tried not to break his concentration and let him go about preparing to finish his performance. Alexander rounded up Lucile, Simone and Olga after they finished changing out of their costumes after the final curtain call. He brought them into Marie's office and told them to take a seat. The girls looked at each other, unsure of why they were brought into Marie's office. Marie joined them a few minutes later and explained what was happening. Lucile and Simone's faces dropped as they heard they were being terminated for trying to injure Phillip. Olga waited to hear why she was brought there too, but it went unsaid. Alexander really brought her to show her what would happen if she went down the same road as her two friends at the company. He was hoping that it would scare some sense into her. Lucile sprung to her feet as Simone cast her head down. "You can't fire me!" "Why not?" Marie asked. "I didn't do anything! You have no proof I did anything. You can't go around blaming people for what someone else did?" "What was with the smile then, Lucile?" Alexander asked. "Master Nizhinksiy, I swear I don't know what you're talking about," Lucile said with a half-smile coming across her face. Marie shook her head and shouted, "You can't even act when your job is on the line! That's reason enough to fire you!" Lucile started to laugh and cry a little as she said, "I swear I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't make Simone fall. She did that on her own." "What do you mean?" Marie asked. Lucile caught herself and paused before she said, "She had lightheadedness." Marie looked at Simone and said, "Was falling into Phillip your idea?" Simone peered up at Marie. Her eyes darted to Lucile. She saw Lucile motioning at her to nod her head. Simone shook her head and said, "No. Lucile told me to do it." "You bitch!" Lucile shouted. "I'm sorry, Mistress Taglioni. I'll leave quietly," Simone said as she stood up. She kissed Olga goodbye and walked out as Lucile watched, still and stunned. Marie turned to look at Lucile as Simone left. Lucile stomped her foot and said, "You can't believe that lying whore!" "Why not? It all fits. You never liked Phillip. You always threw slurs at him. I know you leaked his true identity to Clive." "I didn't do any of that," Lucile shouted. "Oh, come on. We all heard you call him this and that." "That was just me kidding him! I have no problems with that fag!" Marie and Alexander silently stared at Lucile as they heard her call Phillip that word. Olga shook her head at Lucile. Lucile froze as she saw Olga's grim face. She began to understand that she was not going to talk her way out of her termination. Lucile zippered her jacket and said, "Fine. Fuck all of you. I'm going to leave, and I'm going to go down as the best dancer that ever came through this shit hole. You'll regret the day you let me go." "Best of luck to you," Alexander replied. "I hope you and your sissy son go to hell," Lucile shouted before she slammed Marie's office door closed on her way out. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- In the immediate aftermath of Lucile and Simone's termination, the company's dancers were shocked to learn of their dismissals. While few believed that Lucile and Simone did not intentionally hurt Phillip, the company's dancers were still surprised to see that Marie was empowered to fire them. The shock quickly passed, however. Some of the younger female dancers could not conceal their excitement over the development. With Lucile and Simone gone, several more roles became more obtainable. The principal ballerina's were happy that Lucile was gone. Not one of them could stand her, and like the others, they stood to gain more parts because of her absence. As the company went to the barre to do their morning exercises, the commotion over the terminations ceased. Olga was the one dancer that seemed affected by it. She was visibly ostracized by the other dancers who lumped her in with the two departed dancers she had associated with. However, as the weeks past, she ingratiated herself with a number of other dancers. Three months after the terminations, the company was scheduled to go on tour. They were scheduled to play many venues across the United States as well as a few in Canada and the United Kingdom. Marie had been able to convince the board of directors to send the company to the United Kingdom for the first time in the company's history. It was the first time the company was ever leaving North America. Marie was able to sell it to the board as a way to help improve the prestige of the company. Her true reason, however, was quite different. Marie really was planning to use the United Kingdome shows to showcase her son before some representatives of a prestigious ballet company. She had talked to Emma about the possibility of using her father to convince some of her superiors to watch her brother dance when he came into the country. Marie had hoped to use the North American performances as a showcase for him as a danseur as well, but the board frustrated that goal. The board of directors instructed Marie to cast Phillip in a lead female part in at least one of the company's four productions that it was scheduled to cycle through on the tour. When Marie heard the instructions she told the chairman, "I'm not doing that. This has gone far enough. He's a danseur. Not a ballerina. You're cheating those girls by taking away their roles." "Hold up, Marie. This wasn't our idea. You're the one who started this. You cast your son in a girl's role, and he was fantastic. Why are you suddenly against this?" The Chairman responded. "That was different. I wanted to try to motivate the girls in the company to try harder by giving that role to my son. This isn't like that. You're just using him as some sort of freak to increase the bottom line." "Marie, we're an American ballet company. We don't make a profit and we don't get government aid for the arts. All we have are our donors and the ticket sales we manage to get. Any little increase in ticket sales helps keep our doors open. It helps us keep up our performances and lets the girls you're talking about get a chance to dance another day. Every dime your son brings in helps give those girls a chance to dance in another production." "I understand the business, sir. I'm not arguing that he doesn't help us bring in money, but we shouldn't be making dance a full female role. He should be working on perfecting himself as a danseur." "He's already phenomenal." "Yes, he's great, but he can always be better. If we just let focus on male parts, he might become a star." "He's already our star, Marie, precisely because he doesn't focus himself exclusively on danseur's parts." The director then informed her that she had to at least ask Phillip to dance a female role. He noted again that Phillip's en femme performances resulted in the ballet's most financially successful productions outside of The Nutcracker. Marie knew full well that they were right. She knew that by having him dance a female role, the company would draw in curious onlookers during the tour. Marie knew what her son was going to say even before she told him. She knew there was no way he would turn down the part the board wanted him to dance. It was not in his nature to turn down such a challenge or a chance to dance a ballerina's part. It was that eagerness that weighed on Marie's mind. She knew that his only future outside the company would be as a danseur and that those were the types of roles that he should be focused on. Marie felt that if he continued dancing parts reserved for ballerinas, he might stilt his growth as a danseur. Developing his en pointe dancing any further would not do anything for him because the only future for Phillip with that dancing was with the Trocaderos de Monte Carlo, which she felt he was too good for. Marie reluctantly informed Phillip about the board of director's request. He asked what role they had in mind for him. "They want you to dance the lead this time," Marie said with a huff. "What lead?" Phillip asked, intrigued. "They want you to dance the lead in Carmen." "Carmen? That would be one hell of a task." "I know. That's why I'm sure you'll turn it down," Marie replied as she nodded. "Don't be silly, mom. I'm up for it. You've taught me parts of it before. It would be a lot of work, but I've been looking for something to challenge me. I want to do it, but I have to ask why does the board want me to dance that role?" Marie rolled her eyes before she answered, "The board wants you to play Carmen because they think it's a funny twist on the character." "Why?" Phillip asked, aware that his mother was uncomfortable repeating the board's reasoning. Marie huffed and responded, "Because Carmen is a temptress. They say it would be fun to have a male character playing this desired girl who breaks the lead danseur's heart. They think they can sell the twist to audiences. I don't think it'll play as well as they hope." "You never know," Phillip answered. "I suppose not." "Mom, I think I'm going to do it." "You think? Are you not sure? You don't have to do it if you don't want to." "No, mom. I'm going to do it." "Oh, wonderful. I'll go relay that to the board," Marie said as she forced a smile onto her face. As Marie walked away, Phillip smiled. He rushed over to Carlotta and told her that he was cast as Carmen. Carlotta gave him a strange look and said, "That's a lot of choreography for you to learn in such a short time." "I know, but I know a good chunk of it already." "How did you...oh right, your mother," Carlotta responded. Phillip noticed that Carlotta seemed a bit dejected by the news. "What's wrong?" Carlotta shook her head and said, "It's nothing. Don't worry yourself about it." "No, please tell me," Phillip pleaded as he took hold of his girlfriend's hands. Carlotta answered, "I have to be honest, Fanny. I'm a little disappointed that you got the role. I'm happy for you, but it's disappointing." "Why?" "Fanny, you know I love you. You know I enjoy you when you're en femme. I even like watching you dance a girl's part, but we're in competition for those parts." "Oh." "Yes, I'm always happy for you when you get a part you like, but when you're getting a better girls part than me, it's kind of hard not to be disappointed. I'm mean, as cute a girl as you make and as talented as you are, I still know in my heart I'm being passed over for a guy. That's kind of a cutting experience for a ballerina." Phillip knew that the other ballerinas often felt the way Carlotta did, but he never realized that she had the same feelings. Carlotta was troubled by her jealousy while Phillip was concerned about her feelings. He never really thought about what being cast in a lead ballerina's role before his girlfriend would do to her. He knew that Carlotta was the most talented ballerina in the company that had yet to dance a lead role. Part of Phillip wondered if his mother was deliberately keeping Carlotta out of lead roles. As hard as Marie tried, she was never able to completely hide the fact that Carlotta's relationship with Phillip troubled her. Phillip knew how she felt. He knew that she felt that Carlotta was holding him back. Phillip never felt that way, and he sometimes held it against his mother. Carlotta looked down, ashamed of her jealous feelings. Phillip leaned towards her and put his hand beneath her chin. She smiled as he helped raise her head. He kissed her on the lips and said, "I'll tell my mom that I won't dance the part." Carlotta shook her head violently as she pulled away from him and said, "No. You can't do that." "I have to." "No. You don't. This is might be a once in a lifetime opportunity, Fanny. You have to take it. I can handle it, really." "But I know it's killing you." "That's my problem, Fanny, not yours. I've always supported you, and I always will. You've got more talent than anybody here. If you don't do this, you're going to regret it." "I'm not sure if it's the right thing for me to do," Phillip responded. Carlotta smiled and pulled him close. She whispered, "You'll be doing the right thing, Fanny. You're going to dance the part, and you're going to be great, and I'm going to support you all the way, just like you've always done for me." Carlotta planted a kiss on his cheek, and the two went back to practicing. The rest of the casting for the upcoming performances was announced later that afternoon. Since Phillip was cast as a female lead, he was restricted from dancing any other leads. He was cast in two of the three other ballets in secondary male roles. He was cast as one of Prince Siegfred's friends in both casts of the company's production of Swan Lake. He was also cast in both casts of Peter Martin's version of Romeo + Juliet. Phillip was cast to play The Prince of Verona in both casts. The casting was of no surprise to Phillip since he had danced both parts in prior productions. The casting, however, killed Marie. She badly wanted to have him dance a male lead, but his casting in Carmen effectively prevented it. She knew that the tour would not end up showcasing her son as a danseur as she had planned. Instead, it would show him off to the larger ballet world as a novelty act. Carlotta was cast in the same three ballets as Phillip. She was cast in Carmen as the other main female part, Micaela. Marie had cast her in the role in an effort to make her son happy. As much as she often resented Carlotta's relationship with him and occasionally attempted to undermine it, she could not help but try to make her son's life more enjoyable when the opportunity arose. She knew that her son loved dancing with his girlfriend, and she knew that Carlotta was good enough for the role of Micaela. As much as she wanted to punish Carlotta for her relationship with Phillip, Marie knew that it was not right and that she had to act in the best interests of her son and the company. Carlotta's other roles were secondary ones. She was cast as the nurse in the first cast Romeo + Juliet and as the Baroness in the first cast of Swan Lake. Like Phillip, Carlotta was not cast to dance any role in the company's fourth production, which was Balanchine's Agon. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Phillip found preparing for his role in Carmen to be the most difficult undertaking of his dancing career. The long hours of practice he put in at the theater extended into his home life. He frequently thought of nothing but the choreography he was mastering. He practiced his arm movements at home to the amusement of Carlotta who took to dressing him up en femme to cut down on the amount of time she bothered him. Carlotta loved watching him master the role. While she was turned off by his manner of his dress, she was turned on by his talent. She was enamored with it. She frequently could not