It was the end of another day, and I was glad it was over. The day had
passed so slow, I was ready for anything different. Answering phone
calls, placing reservations and ensuring customers were happy was not my
dream job. Not at all.
See, I wanted to explore the mysteries of the universe, and understand
how things tick. I am one of those elusive graduated physics majors.
Try to find one of us and you will most likely have to search deep inside
apartment rooms - or in my case a room in a house where I rented part of
it - where we sit at computers looking up interesting facts on how light
diffraction works through double slit experiments. That just excites
everyone, doesn't it? When we are not doing that you can usually find us
geeking out on something, like playing video games through all hours of
the night or finishing up the newest sci-fi/fantasy book/tv show/movie
series that we have found. All the non-geeks are envious of our twenty
hour marathons of any show that has "Star" in it or someone who can do
magic.
And when we are not doing that... well we gotta eat, so we gotta work
sometime. Now if my job had been about physics, where I could employ my
vast array of otherwise useless knowledge then I might have been excited
to be there. But when you spend eight hours answering phone calls with
people complaining that the hotel room was on the fifth floor when they
wanted the third, or that it was not on the sunny side of the hotel, the
day can drag on.
So at the end of a typical day I was headed home. The last caller - I
mean customer, you have to call them that or the managers get upset (it's
all about the customer as they say) - took an hour to satisfy. The hotel
was not what he expected so he wanted a refund. The local manager was
not doing things satisfactory to his liking so he had to call the central
office. He had been mad and not afraid to take it out on me. After all
he knew he was the customer and we had to bend over backwards for him.
So at the end of the hour I was tired and weary and really not wanting to
go back tomorrow, but I knew I had to. I was trying to save up enough
money to have a bit of elbow room. My roommate owned the place I stayed
and was nice about rent, but I still needed to pay it and I still needed
to eat as well - and buy video games, board games and other fascinating
stuff, when money permitted. It was tough to save up sometimes.
I remember thinking that if I never went back to that job it would be too
soon. I also knew that with how automated the internet was becoming I
should feel glad I even had a job like this. I had only been there six
months, but they had not hired anyone new since me. The people who left
were not replaced. And since the hotel business was still doing great,
it was that more and more was becoming automated. Fewer people called
about reservations and the vast majority was just people complaining.
I was right, though - I would never go back - even though I could not
have known it. Would I want to? No, probably not. But, still, I rather
that things had not worked out the way they did. I think now I'm
starting to come to terms with it, but I always wonder how my life would
have been if my roommate had not shown me that box.
I arrived home to my roommate - his name is Ryan by the way, I don't
think I said that yet - playing the newest Halo game online. We had a
big set up in our living room, with two big tvs and two X-boxes so we
could talk strategy as we played if we wanted. Our computers were in our
respective rooms, but we could yell across if we needed to. The greatest
thing about gaming these days is you did not have to know people to play
with them. Online had made it easy to get people to play with. Just
login and search for a game.
He stopped when I got home.
He had a job too, but he also owned the place so he was saving a ton of
money since I was paying half of his mortgage. He was a psychologist
major, but not your typical psychologist. He was into the study of brain
waves, and how they were affected by different thoughts. It was pretty
cool stuff (hey, don't judge me, I told you I was a geek). He could tell
a lot about a person by their brain waves and he said they were
developing theories on how to use that to help people with their
problems. He even worked at a technology firm that dealt with those
ideas. Have you seen those devices that people can put on their heads
and let their thoughts control the tv or a computer or anything? Well
the firm he worked at was probably behind some of the technology, even if
you had never heard of the name.
Not that he was a bigwig at the firm or anything. He was just an intern,
but at least he had a job in the area that he liked. He could move up
and go places. Me? I could move up and yell at people for doing the job
I was currently doing.
I should have known that he was up to something. He and I were not the
closest, but we did share our love for gaming. X-box, computer gaming,
even gaming on tablets, you name it we both played it. But beyond that
we really had different worlds. I had known him in college and when I
had found a job in the area he had seen it and was nice enough to let me
stay with him for a time. I am sure part of it was that he would get my
rent money to help him save his own money, but it was still a nice thing
to do.
And because we were in two different worlds so much I had hardly noticed
he had been acting differently. I thought it was because of a project at
work he had to finish or something. He had not played many games last
night. But when he had stopped in the middle of a game tongiht when I
got home should have been a big clue.
I said hi and grabbed a quick bite from our refrigerator. I liked to eat
when I got home and then move on to everything else I wanted to do before
night came and I had to sleep enough to function at work.
He had stopped playing but he was not really talking to me so I walked
into my room and sat at my computer. I wanted to unwind, so I loaded up
my favorite game of all time: Starcraft II. I loved strategy games.
And having to play them in real time made it fun, because it forced you
to think fast and adapt on the fly. It was not like a board game where
you could take fifteen minutes to plan one move. You had to make a
decision then and there or else it you would be dead before you knew it.
I liked playing the multiplayer a ton. Not that I was that great at it,
but if you played against just the computer it started to become easy to
predict. The only way to even try to make it hard would be to give it
unfair advantages. But against humans the only advantage either one got
was the knowledge and skill they had to bring to the game.
I played my first game and lost, but barely squeaked out a win my second.
A typical start for me, unfortunately. The game was good at matching you
against opponents your skill level so unless you are just better than
everyone or were rapidly improving chances are you would not win much
more than half your games.
I had finished up the sloppy win when I heard Ryan behind me.
"Hey, Scott, I want to show you something."
Oh yeah, my name was Scott. Don't get too used to it though, you are not
going to hear it that often in this story. But it good to remember.
He startled me when he spoke. I jumped. He had come into my room.
Usually a taboo between roommates, but sometimes it was permitted for a
good reason. Still he must have been watching over my shoulder as I
played with how close he was standing.
I turned to look at him.
"Oh, hi Ryan. What's up?"
"Hey, man. Sorry to spook you, I wanted to show you something. I found
something the other day and I could not figure out what it was. I think
I did though. I want you to see it."
"Okay." I got up and followed him over to his room. I was a little
leary. I thought this might be some sort of practical joke. Now, I wish
it had been.
As I got into his room I noticed a huge box on the far side. It was
shiny, made of some kind of metal and - since it looked to be one solid
piece - there was no way it had fit through the door. It looked like it
had to have been heavy. I wondered how he had got it into the house
without me knowing. Maybe during the day or something, but it had to
have been a huge effort. He could have hid it somewhere, I guess. Our
house was out of town, not too far, just enough where the houses spread
out so that they were not side by side. It would be easy for him to have
hid it around back, but it would still have been tough for him to have
moved it into his room.
"Here, this is what I wanted to show you," he said.
"What is that?" The box - I did not know how else to think of it -
looked like something out of a science fiction show. It was too clean
and shiny for something just found out in the woods. It was smooth all
around except for a crystal in front and a dark looking flat area.
"I don't really know, but I found it could do this." He put his hand in
front of the crystal and suddenly the dark area sprang to life and
projected an image above it. I think I was more interested in the
technology behind the image than the image itself, but both were pretty
fascinating. A beautiful girl stood there, the projection maybe ten
inches big, dressed up like she wanted to meet you. Her look said it was
not just any guy she wanted to meet, but you specifically.
And it looked so real. I mean I could tell it was just an image, but I
felt if I could magnify it that it would be accurate down to the pores on
her skin. It was like a three-d picture of incredible resolution. I had
not heard of technology with that detailed projection imaging. It was
amazing. I immediately wanted to know how it works.
"How did it do that?" I asked.
"I'm not sure exactly. But somehow it can read minds. Crazy huh? I was
thinking of that girl when I put my hand on the crystal. It must be able
to read brain waves or something."
He put his hand there again and the image shifted to himself, then to me
and then to several other images, including a young captain Kirk and
several alien females from different shows and movies.
"Alright," he said and turned to me. "This is what I want you to do. I
want you to think of your dream girl and put her up there. I want to try
something."
I frowned. I was fascinated by the technology. But my dream girl was a
private thing. I would never meet her, and if I did she would never give
me the time of day. Why bring her up?
Still I wanted to try the box so I gave it a shot. I put my hand on the
crystal and thought of something. A few seconds later the image
appeared.
Ryan frowned. "No, no. I mean your dream girl. This one is barely an
eight. I am talking about the girl who would never take notice of you
even if you had a million bucks. She'd require something special."
I shrugged, and defended myself. "Well my dream girl wouldn't exist
anyways."
He gave a small laugh. "Well try it. I want to see what happens. Think
of it as a small experiment and humor me."
He did that sometimes. I think it goes with being a psychology major.
It made you want to do experiments to see how people's mind's worked.
Sure why not though. Round two, then. Pull out all the stops.
I was right in saying my dream girl would never exist - there is too much
geek in me for her to be all of this reality - but I gave it my best try.
I thought of everything a perfect girl would be, the real things, and the
things that would be impossible, and gave it a whirl.
Now when I mean impossible, I don't mean like she was like a squid or
something weird from this planet. I was big into fantasy and science
fiction and my perception of what a woman could be was heavily influenced
by that. Since space travel did not exist that was one check that was
impossible. Since Jedi did not exist that was number two. But in
theory, I suppose, those ideas could exist. Somewhere. So I that's why
I gave it a shot, and I went far into it as I could.
I put my hand in front of the crystal and gave it a try. I focused hard
on it. Nothing happened. I frowned and tried again. For the longest
time the display showed blank. I kept thinking about it, letting my
subconscious do its part of putting all the little things into this
imaginary woman as I could. But here, my woman could be real, so
everything I put in about her I thought of as real too.
I eventually pulled my hand back in defeat. For a moment I thought it
was a trick by Ryan. He would do something like this to see how hard I
would try at it. He probably had rigged it so it worked for him, but
wouldn't work for me.
Ryan frowned and I could tell he was puzzled by it too. So rule out the
trick part. Apparently even this machine would not pretend that my
woman could exist.
And then suddenly, when I thought nothing would happen, she appeared.
She was a gorgeous red-head, complete with an amazing outfit. I had been
thinking of Mara Jade and Sarah Kerrigan (before the transformation, no
strange fetishes for me there, thank you very much) as her basic form.
Those two represented real women in science fiction for me. The woman
was young though. Younger than either Mara or Sarah would have been. I
was twenty four and I pictured her as a few years younger than me. After
using those two characters as the form the rest was just ideas of who she
was and what she would like and what she would do. The image had a
beautiful white dress with some orange and yellow. It was one of those
dresses you could not quite tell if it was casual or formal, but boy did
it look amazing. I was actually a little surprised it came from my head.
There was a little duffle type bag in the image too. I was probably
thinking of too many things and she couldn't have them all on at once, so
the image spilled it over into other things she would have with her.
Ryan laughed. But it was in an appreciative way.
"Wow. You did it. She is a real knockout. Makes me want to change my
image of a perfect woman."
"Okay. I did mine. Now what? You do yours?"
"No," he said. "I got something else in mind."
I don't know what it was about his voice, but it startled me. Now I was
about his size, he was a bit taller, but I was stockyer so it evened out,
so I was not scared physically. But something about the way he said it
was wrong.
Like I said earlier, he and I were in different worlds except for video
games, so I could accept seeing a side i did not know, but this just
sounded dark of him. don't know how he could pack such menace in so few
words but he had.
I turned to look at him and he was eying me strangely.
"I think this will do for me," he said and I was going to ask what he
meant when I suddenly felt dizzy.
I did not know what happened exactly, but somehow he must have drugged
me. I took a few steps and staggered before falling to the ground.
***
I woke up inside a tiny closet. It was well lit and shone bright, even
though I could not tell where the source of the light was. I was half
propped up, as there was not really any room to even sit down. At the
top of the room was a giant orange crystal, but the light did not seem
like it was coming from it. Another crystal was at waist level.
Suddenly I heard banging from the outside.
"Scott! Are you okay?" It was Ryan. My head felt cloudy. I was awake,
but my thoughts were still a bit muddled.
"What happened?" I asked, loud enough to be sure he could hear me. He
sounded muffled so I was not sure how thick the door was.
"I don't know. The door is locked from out here. You have to press the
crystal to open it."
"Okay." I stood up and touched the crystal.
Now why did I do that you might be asking? Why did I listen to the man
who just before I was scared by his tone of voice? Well I clearly was
not thinking straight. It could have been the lingering effects of
however he drugged me, or that I was just waking up. But in that moment
I was so out of it I probably would have pulled a gun trigger if someone
told me to.
Worst mistake? Well probably. Although I did not know how else to get
out of the closet, and it made sense the crystal would open it. There
wasn't anything else that would.
A bright flash of light surrounded me as I touched it. I suddenly felt
very different. Everything felt very wrong.
I knew something had changed, but I couldn't tell what. That muddled
haze I was in was still affecting my thoughts.
The door opened on the closet, and I realized it was not a closet at all.
I was in the box we had been looking at. I had wound up inside it
somehow. Outside of the box though, everything looked off. I glanced
around everywhere and it took me a minute to figure it out. The
proportions were off. I saw Ryan there and he seemed taller than even
before. The ceiling seemed higher than it had been. Even the room
looked bigger than I remembered it. Not by too much, but enough for each
object to make me dizzy.
"Wha.." I began. My voice came out wobbly. I felt unsettled so it made
sense that sounded off. I took a step back though, confused and
disoriented.
"It's okay," Ryan said. It was soothing. The way he spoke. His voice
was a nice thing to hear, the way he was reassuring me. I didn't know
why, but it made me feel better.
"What's going on?" I asked. And with that I knew something was more than
a little off. It was completely wrong. In the haze though I couldn't
pinpoint what. I sat down on the bed to steady myself and begun to look
around. I did not get very far before Ryan spoke again. Oh his voice
sounded good. I could have sat there and let him speak to me."
"Hey. How about you go make something to eat. I'd like a sandwich."
Now, you might be catching on, but I had not. Man he was being sexist.
Still, I could not pinpoint what was going on.
The suggestion sounded good, though. Why think about what could be wrong
when I could go make some food? I put my worries behind me and trusted
that if Ryan was composed enough to ask me to make him something to eat,
then I should. If he was confident then I shouldn't worry about it.
I got up, walked over to the kitchen, pulled out the bread and rummaged
through the fridge for something to put on it. In the end I found some
turkey and a few other toppings to make into a good sandwich.
Now I am normally fairly clean - even though Ryan is not - and I try to
keep things nice in the house, but that day I found the kitchen too messy
to leave alone. My normal tolerances of clean were much higher at the
moment than usual, so I decided to take care of it. When Ryan was done
eating I took the plate and washed that too.
After that was done I sighed and again tried to figure out what I had not
yet put my finger on. I still knew something was naggingly wrong, but I
just couldn't place it yet. I knew I'd be able to figure it out in time,
but I'd rather do that sooner than later. I had been okay with putting
it off earlier because that meant I could make Ryan a sandwich and then I
had cleaned most of the kitchen.
Right when I was about to mentally dive into the mystery Ryan spoke up
again.
"Hey, would you want to do something together right now?"
"Sure," I said without thinking, my concerns immediately put off again.
"What do you want to do right now?"
"Oh, I don't know. What do you want to do?"
"I'm good with whatever you want."
Okay," he said. "But I want to know what you would prefer."
I barely had to think about it.
"How about lets play some games together?"
He easily agreed. I smiled as we sat down in front of the X-Boxes. The
nagging feeling that something was wrong was shoved to the side as I
decided to enjoy the time with Ryan. It was always fun to play games
with people I knew, but tonight it seemed like it would be extra special.
We started up a multiplayer game in Halo and played a match against each
other. It took about ten minutes and was a blast. I kept up with him on
kills, but he always managed to stay ahead. I did pass him one time but
not for long. We ended with him beating me by three kills.
Part of me wanted to pout in my loss, but it had been so much fun.
"You were holding back." He said, when we were finished.
"No, I..." I began. But as I thought about it I realized I was. I did
not want to lie about it, not to Ryan, but I didn't want to upset him
either. I didn't even know why I was holding back. It was fun to play
him and beat him, so why didn't I?
"You were, weren't you?"
"I... I guess I was. I'm sorry." And I did feel sorry about it. I
should have played smarter so he wouldn't have noticed me holding back.
Ah well. We live and learn. I didn't know how much I was holding back,
but I was confident I could beat him if I wanted too.
"Let's play again, but don't hold back."
I shrugged and he started up the next game.
And I stomped him. Not a beat him by three or four kills score. I
stomped him. We were playing to twenty kills and I won with him only
getting one kill on me. I think I had held back just that much, even
though he had said not to. I didn't want to make him feel too bad. I
had seen him smile when he got the kill so that was enough for me. Part
of me was going to throw the rest of the match but I already had too
large a score for him to think he was making a comeback.
At the end he just looked over at me.
"Fascinating. It's truly amazing how you did that."
And I blushed - again not knowing why. I knew I was acting differently,
but it felt fine. Whatever the reason, I was enjoying the time with him.
And it sounded good for him to say that. He and I had not really got to
know each other too much but I was starting to hope we could get to know
each other more.
"Let's play online this time, on the same team," he suggested.
"That sounds great!" I was excited. I felt better knowing I would be
playing with him, and that I could go stronger without hurting him.
We played two matches online and won them both. The first time we stuck
together and racked up the kills working as a team. We did not need to
communicate much but he listened when I told him to back up or to not go
a certain way, and I also let him do most of the decision making. I only
told him when to move when it meant one of us dying. We came out as the
top two players of the game, but I still beat him by a wide margin.
The second one I was determined to get his score higher than mine. It
took a bit of work but I managed easily. I did a lot of damage to the
enemies and got some kills, but I mostly kept them off of us and tried to
get him to have the last shot on weakened opponents as often as I could.
He came out on first place by a wide margin. I did so well at helping
him I did not even get second place points, but I was fine because I had
helped him get first. That was reward enough.
But he was not done. It had started to get late, but he wanted to play
with me on some computer games. We had fun on them, and even got around
to playing Starcraft II. Man it was a blast. We stomped opponents so
fast, we had time for a lot of games.
Looking back, the scariest thing about that night was how much fun honest
to goodness fun I had. Even later, knowing everything he had purposely
done my thoughts still think of that night as one of the happiest
memories I have.
We played till almost three in the morning. Ryan started to get tired,
and I knew I should get rest too. I was still going strong, but I would
pay for it later if I kept up for much longer. I almost crashed before I
got into my bed.
***
It wasn't until the morning that I screamed.
"What the hell did you do?" I yelled at him. I was furious. I was mad
and ready to kill him. I would have roasted him with just a look if not
for the thought in the back of my head that it was a feminine stereotype.
The night before I had fallen asleep before my head had hit the pillow,
and slept without a care. But when I awoke reality crashed down on me.
I had known something was wrong last night, but I had not been able to
pinpoint it for the life of me. I could not have imagined the magnitude
of it.
I had awoke early. The sun was not even up but the room was lit from me
forgetting to turn off the light from the night before.
I sat up and looked down. I saw the breasts first. I dared not call
them 'my' breasts. I could not. But there they were, right in my view.
I caught myself and gasped for breath. They heaved and I ran.
I ran to the mirror in my bathroom, thinking again how everything seemed
larger. The room, the ceiling, the bed. I had slept with my feet just
hanging off the bed for I don't know how long. But this morning I had
awoken comfortably contained in the bed.
At the mirror I realized what had happened. It was the dream girl that
looked back at me. The one who shouldn't exist. She was a red-head
beauty, complete with a gorgeous dress to boot. I knew she was a few
inches shorter than I was used to, which was why everything felt larger
than it should. Everything about her seemed perfect, she even pulled off
the messed up look she had from sleeping in a dress all night. She was a
few years younger than I had been. Probably around just eighteen or
nineteen, whereas I was twenty four.
For a moment I thought I was still dreaming. It was a dream brought on
by last night. By Ryan making me talk about my dream girl and then by us
playing so many science fiction or fantasy based games together. For a
moment I thought that was the only possibility as to what was happening.
Or maybe it was some sort of suggestion. Ryan was using me as a guinea
pig in one of his psychology experiments.
But it was real. I don't know how long it took me to accept that. I
just remember finding myself sitting down by my bathroom sink crying,
finally coming to the grips that this was not a dream or some crazy
experiment. The sun had come up and was shining light into the room.
And that was when the anger hit. Ryan had done this. He had somehow
engineered last night and had done this. And now I had breasts.
So I rushed over to his room and began yelling at him.
He wasn't even awake yet when I got there, but that was the least of my
worries.
I yelled at him and woke him up. And then I yelled some more.
"How the hell did this happen?" My voice somewhat disturbed me. It was
too high pitch for comfort. It sounded nice. Not shrill or anything,
but it was not my voice. It reminded me that my body was wrong almost
more than the breasts did. I could at least look up away from them but
at the moment I was yelling at Ryan.
He had got up and dressed quickly. Luckily he had slept in his shorts
and changed in his bathroom so I did not have to go out to wait for him.
I was irate, but even then I felt him changing in front of me was wrong.
Not least because part of me wanted him to.
I had calmed down a bit by the time he stepped out of the bathroom.
"Okay," I said as steady as I could. "What. The. Hell. Did. You.
Do?"
"Its okay," he said. AndI wanted to believe him. A little of the fear
left me. Not much but a little. "So what is wrong?"
And there went my calm. He damn well knew what was wrong. Hewas
treating it like nothing. My anger flared up again.
"I am a woman! That's what's wrong! How can you ask me that?"
"Fascinating," he replied. It made me want to hit him. I almost did.
He saw the anger in my eyes so he quickly amended it with "Okay, okay.
I'll explain. Give me a moment. Let's go out to the living room."
I walked out there and tried to calm down again. I was upset, but he
said he would explain. That assurance at least allowed me to think
again.
"So, I found that device I showed you last night," he began. "I wasn't
sure what it did at first but about three days ago I figured out how to
use it to alter myself. I didn't change much, not visibly, not yet at
least, but I was able to change myself mentally and internally. I'm no
doctor so I am not sure how much I can do yet, but I was able to use it
to make myself smarter so I could learn a few things off of the good old
internet. Do you know how handy it is when you can assimilate things as
fast as I can now?"
"And last night you used it to change me?" I had planned on yelling it,
but it had become an honest question. Somehow, as he talked my anger
melted away. I wanted to figure out what was going on, but for the
moment I would just settle for him to keep talking.
"Well, much of you is your own doing, you know. You did the big picture.
After all I wanted you to enjoy yourself. I just made a few small
alterations after. I don't think the machine would let me do much more
than I did, but I kept it small anyways. And even if I could have done
more, I might have displaced part of what you had put there. I didn't
want to do that. I was interested in the full picture of what you had
put in that machine. It never took longer than a few seconds to figure
out how to do my alterations so you must have imagined something big to
made it take so long to figure out how to do all the things you wanted.
All my alterations did was allow you to enjoy yourself more."
"Bullshit," I said, with some reason coming back into my head. "You
don't do something like this without to a person without their
permission. That's monstrous."
He shrugged "That's how all the great experiments go. The subject cannot
know or else the experiment is ruined."
"So you drugged me, stuck me in the machine and fooled me to push the
button? And then tell me I'm supposed to be okay with that because you
are treating this like an experiment? How the hell do you figure that?
What if I got stuck or the machine messed up?" I was angry, but for some
reason I could not get my anger up as much as I wanted. What I wanted
was to hear Ryan talk more. But I knew this was wrong. He even admitted
to doing something in my head so I couldn't trust my thoughts about him.
"Well, you were not supposed to figure it out so fast. Ah well. Back to
the drawing board."
"No way. You do not get to tinker with that machine anymore. We are
going to change me back and then we are going to throw that out."
"No," was all he said. But his tone scared me. He gave it a small shake
of his head. His attitude was the way you would say no to a burger.
He'd rather have a burrito or a steak. There was no deliberation, or
even acknowledgement of what his decision would mean. After all you
don't ask the steak if it wants to be eaten. He meant to continue to use
that machine.
"I am going to change back and then we can have this conversation."
"No, I don't think so. Not yet." he said. It was all in the same casual
tone.
It took me a second to register what he meant. He was fine with
preventing me from changing back. It was not something even up for
discussion for him.
I looked at him and saw his composure. He was being serious. At this
point I would have paid anything for this to be some sort of practical
joke. But I could tell he meant every word he said. Something in him
had changed. Or some change he had done to himself had brought out this
monster.
The moment I realized there was no reasoning with him I ran to his room.
I did not hesitate. I gave him no opportunity to react. I had to reach
the machine.
"Stop!" He yelled, before I had taken more than a couple steps, already
getting up. I was still getting my momentum but suddenly my body tried
to slow down. Something in his voice made me want to stop, but I could
not let it. I kept running.
But he was faster. Not by much. I could have made it. I felt a lot
faster in this body than I had in my other one. But my hesitation when
he yelled at me gave him the edge. He got to me before I could even
touch the crystal, let alone project a mental image of my old self into
the machine.
He was stronger than I expected. Now I know the machine had done a
number on me and I had barely figured out anything that this body could
do, but if I had truly become the image of my dream girl I should not be
a weakling.
He dragged me to his closet. He positioned himself well so he had all
the leverage, and like I said I was still unsure of myself in this body.
It had a grace to its movements, but I did not know how to make it work
to free myself.
He reached into the closet and grabbed something. I felt something slap
on my wrists and next thing I knew my wrists were in manacles.
Not the little handcuff loops mind you, but solid manacles more than an
inch wide. The manacles attached to each other by a short chain and that
chain was attached to a longer one which he had in his hands.
I struggled, trying to pull my arms away. I was in a full panic, eyes
wide and everything, but I dared not stop. I used all my might. I
pulled as hard as I could, both my hands bound together. Fear threatened
to overtake me. I knew if I did not escape now, I might never. If he
had planned enough to get chains to tie me up who knew what else he
planned for? I was already in handcuffs and he was stronger than me.
The implications him stopping me flooded my mind, my imagination dredging
up the worst possibilities.
I was able to pull free, somehow getting the right leverage, but it did
me no good. His grip slipped on the chain, but my foot slipped off
balance. I recovered, not even falling to the floor, and was able to get
several steps, the long chain dragging against the floor.
I had not thought where I had planned on going when I reached the door.
My only thoughts were 'away from him.' Anywhere was better than here..
But he yelled and I knew I was in trouble.
"Stop! Stop struggling!"
It affected me, again. As much as I knew everything about this was wrong
there was part of me that wanted to listen to him. To stop and let him
do what he knew was best. I pushed that impulse down and tried to keep
up my run, but it gave him enough time. He was able to grab the long
chain and yank me off my feet.
I fell to the floor and he dragged me back to the closet. I heard
another rustle of metal and my ankles were bound too. Even if I could
get free I had no way to run now.
He dragged me through the living room to my room and attached the chain
on my wrists to the head of the bed. My feet were attached to something
on the floor, at the foot of the bed. I had not noticed anything last
night, but apparently he had prepared for this. It scared me.
I cried. I had started crying the moment my ankles were bound. It was
the moment I knew I was his prisoner. The moment I first felt helpless.
I cried all the way as he had dragged me to the bed.
It was not what my dream woman would have done. Although, my dream woman
would not have been caught. She would have been too quick to catch or
somehow had got the upper hand.
But there I was chained to my own bed in a body that was not my own. I
did not know what else to do, so the tears flowed down.
I tried to struggle a bit too, but the chains were firm. I had enough
movement to pull my hands into my body, but it did not help. He waited
until I calmed down and then spoke to me. His words were soft and his
tone reassuring, even if there was no way he could reassure me now.
"I had hoped it would have worked. I mean, yes the changes were small,
but they should have kept going forever, or at least a long time. We
would have had fun. I mean I could tell you were having fun last night."
He gave a smile before continuing:
"I can't believe your gaming skills were altered so much. Maybe it
seemed too petty to me with everything else you could change, but
apparently your dream girl is a master at all things geeky. It made me
want to change my gaming skills, but after thinking about it I probably
will just keep them how they are. If I can figure out how to fix this
we can still have the same fun as last night. It would be too easy to
win if I changed them too much and I like the challenge. And you can
even enjoy yourself too like you were yesterday."
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I said. My eyes were drying. I was
too much in shock of his calmly spoken psychotic words to keep crying.
He had gone from okay to completely whacked in no time flat. He chained
a girl to a bed and acted like nothing was amiss. "Can't you see that
this is wrong? Let me go. That's all I want right now. You can go back
to the box and do whatever you want to yourself."
"I could. But what is the fun in that? No. I like you this way. The
way you are, now. I admit you got to me. I was considering changing
you back, but last night was just too wonderful. Even just your presence
was amazing. We didn't even have to do anything.
"No, no," he continued. "I'm just going to have to figure this out. The
machine is amazing, but even it is limited. I'll just have to be
imaginative. I'll figure out a way to work on your attitude. I guess
I'll have to call in sick today. I hoped to not miss much more work.
But we have to figure this out sooner than later."
It was again the way he was talking about it that was scary. It was too
casual. This was my life he had, and he was treating it like what flavor
of ice cream he wanted that day.
"Please," I said - I did not care how I sounded. It was pitiful, the
tears returned. I was not above begging. I knew I had to get out of
here. I would do anything at that point. "Please. Don't do this.
Think about what you are doing. I shouldn't be like this."
He smiled and brushed his hand against my hair.
"Don't worry. I'll fix this. Please don't scream, though. I don't want
to gag you. I had made a lot of contingencies the last couple days but I
would prefer not to gag you right now."
He grabbed my wrists and pulled them up over my head. He tightened the
chains somehow so that I couldn't move. I knew my eyes were full of fear
and panic, but he did not do anything more. He just checked that they
were secure and walked out.
***
I don't know if you have ever been terrified before. Not just scared.
I'm not talking about that. We have all been scared. We all have hid
when something startled us or ran when something frightened us, but that
is just it. We can run, we can hide. Flight or fight is a great thing.
It allows our body to be prepared to do anything necessary. But when you
are scared and know you can't do anything that is when terror sets in.
I was terrified in that bed. My wrists were in chains that I knew I
could not break. My ankles were chained together so I could not even run
if I somehow worked the chains loose. And there was a madman in the
other side of the house who could be thinking of all sorts of crazy
things to do to me.
He had stretched the chains tight so I could barely move. My arms were
pulled over my head to the wall and my feet were pulled tight down. I
could barely bend my arms or knees. It was not enough to do anything
more than keep myself from getting too uncomfortable.
It was the darkest moment I had known. Sure, I have experienced
difficult situations since then but not with a crazed lunatic that I had
no clue what he wanted or could do. If he had walked in and twirled a
mustache and said "You have no idea what I am capable of," I would have
had to agree.
I tried to think of what I could do but the terror overwhelmed my
thinking. I could not piece together a logical explanation for anything
that had happened except that I had been the victim of some sort of
strange technology. The box had seemed so advanced and so alien that it
made the most sense to have come from off world. I mean I did not
believe in aliens - and I have yet to meet one - but there was no other
explanation. If this sort of technology existed on earth there would be
other signs of it. If a box existed that could change your body
completely, that display I had seen on it would be considered a low tech
novelty in comparison. It made sense it was some offworld product.
But beyond that I could not think. I wish I had tried harder, but the
fear made it impossible. Terror of what was to come flooded my thoughts
when I tried to think about what to do next. I don't know if I could
have done anything in the bed with how tight I was bound, but it might
have given me the knowledge to escape later that day.
Instead, I spent the next couple hours crying and trying not to be too
afraid. It was a mercy when my body grew weary from all the adrenaline
it had to be producing and fell asleep.
****
When I awoke again I was not in my bed. I was curled up on a small two
seater sofa Ryan had in his room. My hands and feet were still chained
together, but the chains were not pulled tight. It felt good to be able
to move again. On the bed before I had fallen asleep my arms and legs
had began to feel sore. The chain on my wrists led to a ring on the
wall.
Ryan had his back to me as he studied something on his computer. The sun
was coming at an angle that meant it was early afternoon.
I looked around the room and took stock of my situation. My dress had
began to feel uncomfortable. I had slept in it twice now, and had not
had much time to adjust it. Being in a woman's body and then being bound
had put adjustments low on the priority list. But it was fairly form
fitting so any small twist could made a lot of discomfort, and after a
long enough time even discomforts could get too much. And the dress was
sweaty. All the crying and fear laden sweat had gotten into it too. It
might even get ruined if I stayed in it too much longer. I hoped I could
change out of it soon.
Now right there just shows how poorly I was thinking. I had gone from
worrying about changing my body back to what it was to changing my
clothes so I could feel more comfortable and that I wouldn't ruin such a
nice dress. I was still afraid, less so at the moment than before, but
the weariness and discomfort I felt was almost as debilitating to my
thinking process.
I kept looking around the room to see if there was anything that could
help me, but as quietly as I could so Ryan would not notice yet that I
was awake. I doubted I would find a miracle, but I was not going to give
up.
I first looked over the chain. He must have got it through the box. The
links looked too perfect, too new, and they did not show any signs of
being welded together. And they were heavy. Just by sheer weight I
could tell there was no way I could break them. The manacles were solid
too. The ones around my wrists showed no sign of a keyhole or device to
remove them. Another sign that this was not something he had pieced
together from items from Home Depot. I could barely even make out the
break in material where they had hinged and closed around my wrists. He
must have something though. I doubt he had planned on keeping me in them
forever.
The chain on my wrists went to the floor, around and behind the sofa, and
attached to a ring in the wall above it. It was just a few feet away,
and I could tell it was solidly in place. I could not even tell how it
was clasped to the ring. As far as my eyes could tell it looked one
piece. I had probably about ten feet of slack, but that would not get
me out of the room. I thought it might have enough slack for me to move
to Ryan, but the chain would be too tight for me to do anything and my
feet were still bound. No way I could overpower him that way.
I stretched again and thought about how good it felt. It helped to get
some of the soreness out of my arms and legs, but I was careful to move
slowly, to make no noise if possible. I made sure the links of the chain
did not clink as I went around trying to relieve the soreness.
The key was Ryan. I needed to figure out what he wanted. I had no other
way to get out of the situation than through him. If I could figure out
what he was after I could maybe use it to escape.
So what did I know?
I made a list. He was a psycho monster who had no qualms about changing
the very essence of who I was. He was a psychology student (maybe that
made him psycho? ha ha. Okay, terrible, but I take what I can get), who
graduated with me a couple years ago from the same college. He worked in
a firm that dealt with brainwave technology to help those who were
troubled. And he had control of a machine that would pretty much bend
the laws of physics, if not break them. I mean it had done crazy stuff
so far. Nothing like break the speed of light, but rearranging the atoms
of a body was no simple task.
Okay, so maybe I knew too much. It scared me.
I had no idea what he could do with all that. He had already messed with
my brain when I had first gone in that machine. Last night I had wanted
to do what he asked, and didn't think twice about it. Had that been some
kind of psychology thing he had figured out how to work into the machine?
I couldn't think of what else it could be. My only consolation was I had
not done anything I did not want to. Well maybe the sandwich was a small
stretch, but I had not thought of it as wrong. Cleaning could be argued
to be a good thing and gaming was a blast.
But they should not have been that great to make me miss the fact I had
been changed into a woman. It must have been more of an augment really
than a full brain change. I was still me. He had just found a way to
push me about a bit because of what he had done to my brain. He pushed
me to like him, and to want to please him, then he had pushed me to enjoy
myself.
And today I had resisted him. Last night I could not even realize I was
in a woman's body acting like I was smitten with a cute boy. I mean I
blushed at his compliments like they were the greatest thing in the
world. But something was different about this morning.
Maybe his control had slacked because he was not around. And then when I
found out I had a woman's body it became less effective. Something that
wrong could not be overcome by wanting to please him or enjoy a computer
game or two. But he could still slow me down with a word, which was more
than slightly insane.
So what had caused him to become like this? The Ryan I knew last week
was a decent guy. They say that power can corrupt, but this level of
change was extreme. Was he always like that and I just did not notice
it? I suppose, to some extent. I mean we weren't the best of buds, and
I did not hang out with him too much, so he could have been hiding
something about himself.
I would have made some mental comment about how he just needed a girl to
take the stress away, but at the moment I was the nearest one, and there
was no way in hell that would happen.
I struggled through all these thoughts and more. I figured he had
altered my thinking just enough to nudge my thoughts in a direction he
wanted. Now that I knew that I hoped I could counter it. The good news
was I was still me and I could still think for myself.
The bad news was that Ryan might think of a way around that before much
longer. If he could had been able to do that much brain twisting to me
on the first try I did not want to see what he could do the second time
around.
I was tempted to try to make a run for it, but I knew it was hopeless.
As much as part of me felt I needed to try, it would accomplish nothing.
I put the thought down, knowing it was futile.
A chain link must have made a sound, or maybe he had finished up with
something he was reading and was taking a break. In either case he
turned around.
"Oh good. You're awake. Feeling better?"
My tongue got stuck in my throat. I wanted to throw a snide remark at
him, but I did not want to make him mad. I needed to figure out more,
and did not have the luxury to be chained down while he figured out his
next step. The fear returned, but I put it down.
I nodded instead, hoping that would be enough.
"Good. I am glad to hear that." He stood up and walked over to the
couch.
I fought not to flinch away from him. I did not want to be touched by
him. But again I knew I had to not upset him. He had seemed like he
wanted a companion more than he wanted to be feared so I would do best to
not let my fear show.
The rest of my emotions were enough to deal with, though. As he walked
over I felt my body, well, get excited. Not like instant libido or
anything, but just glad he was moving toward me.
Now I am not gay. Never was. But this body wasn't designed to be a
lesbian either. It had been designed to like guys and my mind had been
altered to view Ryan as a great guy, so I felt something through what my
body wanted.
I immediately put it down, and thought about the horrors he was doing.
There was no way anything would happen between me and Ryan. No way.
He sat down besides me and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. It
made me freeze. No way was anything going to happen, I had thought, but
how could I stop him if he thought differently?
"Is there anything I can get for you?" he asked. When I was about to
open my mouth with some snarky comment he added: "Reasonably, of course.
Are you hungry? Do you need to use the bathroom?"
I suddenly realized I had to. I couldn't remember going the night before
- although it was a possibility I had in all the craziness and I had not
noticed it - and I had not yet today. I felt the need hard.
He unhooked the chain from the wall, careful to not allow me any
advantage (but what was I going to do? Hobble out of the house?), and
moved it to another hook just outside the bathroom. There was plenty
enough chain to sit down but I couldn't fully shut the door because it
was hooked to the outside.
It was awkward. He did not unchain either of my hands, so they were
bound within a few inches of each other, and I still had the dress on.
It took a long time to even pull the dress up far enough to even sit
down. But I managed. It felt totally strange, but I tried my best not
to think about it. When I got up I settled the dress back down to keep
comfortable. Not that it really was as a whole, they are not meant to
be, but it felt a lot better after I took a moment to smooth it back into
place. I couldn't tell the time, but I guess I was in there at least
forty five minutes.
I came out and he had prepared a small snack for me. It mirrored my
prisoner state: bread and some water. He was nice enough to have some
crackers too for me to wash it down with. He had never been a good cook,
I realized. He moved my chain - a leash is more like it - back to the
sofa and I ate it ravenously. I was still hungry when I finished, but
there did not seem to be more coming.
So I got myself comfortable. I did not know how long I would be at the
sofa, so I figured I might as well. I stretched out, but since there was
not quite enough room, stayed half sitting up. It felt nice, even though
I was bending my waist so much.
Ryan had gone back to work at the computer. I had nothing to do but sit
and watch. He turned his head often to see if I was still awake and had
not moved. Not that I was even the remotest threat. When he had chained
me up I could tell the chain would not let me reach across the room to
Ryan's computer. I could maybe get to the box, but barely. I don't
think I could get all the way inside and even so I doubt it would close
with the chain through the door.
An hour later I fell back asleep. Boredom after terror can do that to
you. I had slept earlier, but with nothing to do and my body still
recovering from the terror from the morning it was easier than I thought.
The food also helped, even if my stomach was not full, I felt a little
better.
When I awoke again he was standing over me. I could tell by his look he
was up to something.
"Good evening," he said. "I don't know about you, but I think I'm ready
to be done with those chains. They were supposed to be a last resort,
not a long term solution."
I perked up. I knew there had to be a catch, but even so without the
chains I had a better chance of being able to free myself. It was too
much to believe though, so I waited. The sun had come down further
through the windows. My stomach grumbled from hunger.
"I wish I had more test subjects," he continued. "I can imagine what I
could do with them in the machine. I hoped you would be enough, but now
I doubt you would touch the crystal again in the machine, and i can
hardly alter my own mind the way I want to try with others. That would
be too dangerous. I could make you perfect, but in that one little thing
I need your cooperation to do it."
"No way in hell," I said quietly. I kept my eyes down though. It had
slipped out, but I still knew I did not want him mad.
"I thought so," he said getting up. "Ah well. But that is why I thought
of something else."
I looked at him, eyes widening with fear. He had all day to be thinking
of something and using the machine. Who knew what he had come up with?
"There is a necklace around your neck. Feel it, but be careful when you
do."
I reached up and touched it. It was a solid chain, hanging just down
from my neck - a princess cut length. I could feel the ringlets
interwoven, and at the front end was slightly thicker with some design in
it but I could not tell what it was.. It probably was beautiful, it felt
like it should be. I started feeling around the sides.
"Ah. You should stop. Don't touch the clasp. You might not like it."
I didn't stop. I had to know what new prison he was making for me. If
this was part of it I would know everything about it I could. When my
hands touched the clasp my hand caught fire. Burning pain flashed into
my head telling me something was horrifically wrong In a moments time it
felt like it turned from a flame to all the flesh fell off. I pulled my
hand back in pain and cried out, expecting something hideous. I
collapsed to the side of the couch and forced myself to look.
My hand was fine, but the main was real. Nothing had been harmed on
those hands but the pain was real. It lingered and took its time to
dissipate. I forced myself to sit up. The sight of those too slender,
too pretty hands in front of me made me do it. I again resolved to get
out of this somehow.
"Sorry, but I did warn you. The pain should fade fairly quickly. But it
will do that again and even worse if you try it again. We are going to
try something new."
He walked around and I forced myself not to speak. He would say what he
wanted to say. I just sat there and watched him.
He picked up some sort of mp3 player and put one bud in his ears.
"I had hoped we could work something out. This has been a wonderful
test, and enjoyable company made it even better. I wanted for it to work
out better, and perhaps one day it will, but for now this is all I have."
"Well here goes nothing," he said. And with that he pushed a button on
the little mp3 player.
The world went all like it had been last night. But even stronger. I
could feel my brain being bent, but it happened so fast.
I took a deep breath and looked at Ryan. I could see him in a new light.
In the light I should have been seeing him in all along. Sure he had
been tough earlier but he had meant well. He just wanted me to be happy
after all. What he had done was not really a problem. How could I be
happy if I ran away from him? He would probably even let me out of the
chains soon, since I had realized now what he was really doing. Well, if
I could make him realize he could trust me now, he would. I'd make sure
to cooperate to prove he could trust me.
Those thoughts and more washed over me. My whole perspective changed. I
just sat there and smiled at him. Whatever he had planned next would be
great. He would let me know when he was ready.
He looked at me and must have noticed the change too.
"Feeling better?"
"Oh yes." And I meant it. I did feel much better. I could enjoy this.
All I had to do was what he asked and it would be a great time. "What do
you want to do? We could play more video games, that would be fun."
"True. But first I need to test this out."
I nodded, the part of my screaming that he was manipulating me was barely
audible. It felt good to just listen to what he wanted for now.
"But first, what to call you?"
"Sarah." I said.
That must have surprised him. I guess he was thinking out loud to
himself, but it just came out from my mouth when he asked. He arched an
eyebrow at me.
"Sarah? Not Mara?"
I shrugged. "Mara is nice, but I like Sarah."
"Okay. Sarah it is. We can change it later if we do want to." And then
he got into some bigger questions.
"Would you rob a bank if I asked you to?" he asked first.
It was a strange question and surprised me. I had to think about it. I
was uncertain how I would answer. I determined whatever my answer I
would tell the truth. He might not like it but it would be better than
him finding out later that I lied to him. He could make better decisions
if I told him the truth.
So I thought through it. I did not want to break any laws. I mean the
money would be nice, but breaking the law like that was much worse than
speeding down the freeway - I might do that for him if he needed. Maybe
the bank people were doing something bad and Ryan knew it and wanted to
use that money to right a wrong.
I thought like that for a bit, and tried to picture Ryan asking me to do
it. I thought it might change my answer if he actually asked me. But in
the end I knew I would not. Breaking the law was not something to be
done lightly.
"No. It's wrong," I responded. "I don't think even if they were doing
wrong things that I could do that. There had to be another way. If you
need money though I can give you what I have or go to work to earn more,
although I don't know if they would recognize me there."
He nodded as if he had been expecting it.
"I figured there were limitations with this. It is my first attempt at
it. I can make something more agreeable to you, but not make you do
something you view as wrong. Perhaps later it might be different."
He asked me a slew of questions and I did my best to answer them. We
found out I would do my best to protect him, but I would not harm
innocent bystanders. I would give him all my money, but I would not
steal to give it to him. I would not lie about anything really
important, though I might fib if I thought it was a little thing. There
were many more, but it seemed I still had my moral code. I was just far
more likely to listen to Ryan if it did not get in the way of that code.
"Just three more questions," he said. I was glad. I had enjoyed
answering the questions because it helped him, but I was ready for
something more fun.
"First," he asked. "Would you touch the crystal inside the box you were
in earlier?"
"No." I did not even think about it. I knew it might make him angry. I
remembered I had not wanted to earlier, but even though things were
different since then - I mean I knew Ryan was trying to help me now -
there was still part of me who knew I should not. I was just a little
unclear on why I knew I shouldn't, like that part of my brain was not
working quite right. Pushing the crystal would make Ryan happy, but even
so, there was an unrelenting wall in my head telling me not too. My head
hurt thinking through that.
Ryan just nodded. His face told me he was upset. I apologized through
my confusion.
"Well, I suppose that also answers my next question. In time. And
that's enough work for one day too. So I will skip to the last question.
Answer me truthfully. Will you try to escape if I free you from those
chains?"
I looked down at my hands. I again remember thinking I needed to escape.
I knew I should, but I did not want to lie to Ryan. This was not a
little thing to lie about.
"I... I don't know." I wanted out of the chains, but I knew he would not
let me out if he knew I would try to escape. "Maybe if I promise you I
won't escape I won't." I looked up at him hopefully. I wanted to please
him. I could worry about getting out of the house later.
"Maybe?" He arched an eyebrow. I thought about it again.
"If I promise you I won't escape, then I won't."
"So promise me."
"I promise I will not try to escape tonight."
"And tomorrow?"
"And tomorrow."
"And after?"
My face twisted up. I knew I should not promise to not escape for too
long. There was still something important to do, and I knew I did not
have enough time to put it off for too long.
"I see," he said when I did not answer. "You are strong in there still.
Well, I suppose it would not be fun if it was too easy. You can be free
tonight."
I was excited. He reached over and did something to the manacles that I
could not figure out, but they popped open and and soon enough my wrists
and ankles were free. They felt very sore, but at least I could rub it
out now. And it was not like Ryan was keeping me there for no reason.
He was trying to help me in spite of myself after all.
"I am not sure how long this will last if I fall asleep. This end of the
device require conscious thought to work." he said. "So if I fall asleep
you need to chain yourself up again immediately."
I nodded. I was sad that I would have to be chained up again, but it
made sense. If I escaped he wouldn't be able to help me.
He got up to leave and I blurted out the one question I could think clear
enough to form.
"What was your second question?"
He blinked at me.
"The question you said was the same answer as if I would touch the
crystal." It shamed me to bring up the crystal thing again, but I wanted
to know.
"Oh. I was going to ask if you would sleep with me willingly."
Now if it isn't apparent enough to you by now, my brain was trashed by
everything he had done to this point. He had caused my thoughts to go
loopy, with the core of myself barely able to have a say in even the most
important thoughts. But I am thankful for my parents for that moment. I
was pretty conservative in my sexuality. My parents had raised me to
think of sex as for marriage only and even though my ideas might have
been slightly different from theirs, I still would not just have sex on a
whim. Not even if I had known the person for years. My dream girl would
be the same, so I had both ends covered that way.
So he was right. I would not have slept with him, no matter how my body
felt toward him. Again I did not really know why. Part of me knew it
would make him happy, but part of me knew - just knew - I shouldn't.
I was ashamed though. That's what gets me even now. He had twisted my
mind up so hard that I was ashamed that I would say no to sex with this
crazy, horrible monster who was manipulating my thoughts. I even hoped
in that moment that I would change my mind as time went on. Not that
night or the next, but in a few weeks hopefully I would feel better about
it.
We moved on, though. I made a quick dinner, as it was already getting
late by the time he finished asking me questions, and then we sat down to
play games. I sat next to him so I could be close. I was careful not to
be too suggestive, but it did feel good to just be sitting close to him.
I must have stank more than I thought. I had been stuck with it long
enough to have got used to the smell.
"Ugh, go take a shower first. And you've been in that too long, find
something else." He indicated to my dress.
I thought about what I could change into and headed to my room. I could
use the shower in there to clean up but I needed something to wear. I
guess I could use some of my old clothes. They would not fit well, but
Ryan was right. I did smell. Anything would be better than what I was
in now.
In my room though, was the duffle bag. It was the one that had appeared
in the image on the machine. I had not seen it in the box, but Ryan must
have taken it out and it wound up in my room. I could not remember what
I had dreamed up that must be inside, but hopefully there was some
clothing.
I looked in and found some jeans and a shirt insi