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SRU: Kobayashi Maru free porn video
SRU: KOBAYASHI MARU
by Laika Pupkino
[While I knew the importance of Starfleet Academy's Kobayashi Maru test,
as I sat down to write this I could rememer nothing about the details of
the battle scenario itself. With no access to the internet that week I
took a wild guess, and wound up getting it all wrong, even the fact that
they weren't ON BOARD the Maru but were attempting to go to her
rescue.... But since these mistakes aren't important to this story and
because I liked the simplicity of my version I decided to just leave it
the way it is...]
In the administration wing of the Starfleet Academy in San Francisco the
review board sat behind a long conference table. The young cadet stood,
facing the five of them, not seeing another chair and not having been
offered one. It was a pretty hoaky intimidation gimmick, and Cadet Kirk
wasn't impressed
The elderly Admiral Jonathan Archer (ret.) spoke, "Congratulations
Cadet. You are the first person in the history of this Academy to ever
come out on top in the Kobayashi Maru scenario. This simulation was
designed to give you no chance of winning, only different types of
defeat, a fact that you were obviously aware of given the extraordinary
lengths you went to in order to pull off this little surprise. Your
going clear outside the known laws of causality was certainly
resourceful, although it'll surely be disasterous to any future you
might've had in Starfleet. The sheer recklessness of such an act can not
be ignored, and as soon as it's determined exactly what laws you broke
you'll most likely be facing criminal charges, which at the very least
will get you expelled from this Academy; not to mention whatever civil
actions will be taken against you by the unwitting participants in
your.... whatever that was you did."
Archer paused to smile briefly, more as a form of punctuation than any
display of warmth, "But such matters fall outside the purpose of this
review panel, which is simply to judge how well you performed on this
test. Prior to today, the best outcome any candidate managed to
accomplish was to save the lives of a handful of their crew through the
use of escape pods. And while we're all quite impressed with your
success, there are those of us who feel you cheated by using such a-"
"Cheated?!" exploded Kirk, "How was what I did cheating? Let's get real
here, Gentlemen. I'm sure each of you. When you had commands of your
own. Would have used any means at your disposal. To ensure the safety of
your crew! And if it just so happened. That I had recourse to magic. How
could I not make use of it?!"
The white haired Andorian Fleet Mother sternly levelled her antennaes at
the young Earthling, "Need I remind you that this was only a training
exercise?"
"But an exercise that I was expected treat with utter seriousness. As if
actual lives. Were at stake. And that's EXACTLY what I did," puffed the
cadet, and pointed dramatically out through the window, toward the
heavens, "Maybe I never have been in space. Yet. But I do know that out
there. Where no man has gone before. When all that stands between
survival. And annihilation. Is a thin blue line in the sand. The notions
of 'going by the rules'. And 'playing fair'. Have no practical meaning.
It's dog.... eat dog!"
"Rules have no practical meaning?" droned the Vulcan instructor with
that slight lift of one eyebrow that was his people's equivalent of a
swear word. "There are thirteen million, five hundred eighty seven
thousand one hundred and eight words in Starfleet regulations. Rules of
conduct are the very backbone of Starfleet, and indeed the Federation of
Planets itself. I have to admit that I find your professing to hold them
in such low regard chilling, to say the least. Perhaps rather than
applying here you would have been better suited to a career in the
Klingon military, where you would find yourself freer to follow your
'inspiration'. Ignoring treaties, shooting civilians-"
"That's NOT what I meant! I'm talking about facing an enemy who has
fired first. Who is bent on destroying you. When there's no longer any
chance for diplomacy. Or measured response. Not one among you. Is some
armchair quarterback. Who has learned all he or she knows about tactical
engagement. From books. Or chips. Or lectures. So you know what I'm
talking about! In fact, isn't this the very lesson of Kobyashi Maru? The
reason it's on our curriculum? You may judge me as you see fit. But I
offer no apologies. For managing to save my crew. Good day to you,"
snapped Cadet Kirk and strode out of the room, her pony tail bouncing
haughtily against the back of her neck.
After conferring briefly the review board upheld this victory through
magical means, awarding the brash young cadet the highest score ever on
the Kobayashi Maru exercise. Because there really was nothing in the
rules against the use of magic during training exercises. But in the
future there certainly would be. This was Starfleet Academy after all,
not some crazy school for wizards!
And of course Jim Kirk hadn't believed in magic either, until he
actually used the silly fake-looking crystal the old kook had sold him,
right there in the heat of simulated battle. It had proven to be a life
altering decision..
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Ever since he had heard of this test with its no-win scenario Kirk had
been determined to be the first person in the history of Starfleet to
beat it. He just did not believe in no-win situations. The entire
concept went against his every conviction about life. Against
everything. He. WAS!
In the past few weeks he had read everything he could find about the
original Kobayashi Maru incident, and about the training excercise that
it became the basis for, with regard to how various former cadets had
responded. Trying to find a solution, some angle that no one had hit on
before. He could see several things that he might be able to do- IF he
just had a few more photon torpedoes, or IF the ship hadn't lost warp
capability; But these were no solution at all. The details of the
scenario were set in stone
Then he had a wonderfully audacious idea. If the parameters of the
excercise wouldn't allow him to beat it, he would just have to change
the parameters! Since what he had done would be right out in the open
the instant the simulation began deviating from its familiar course of
futile options, and since he would immediately take full credit for it
he didn't see this as cheating, but as a statement. And whether or not
the instructors would understand or agree with such a statement, he knew
it was the right thing to do
Donning a black turtleneck sweater and carrying the nifty "sonic
screwdriver" he'd won in a card game---a little handheld tractor device
with a thousand devious uses---he had broke into the simulator center
the night before it was his turn to lose the Maru with all hands on
board..... only to discover that his meta-solution had been anticipated.
The software for the Kobyashi Maru simulation was locked up tighter than
a Vulcan spinster's snatch. And maybe a Vulcan (like that snooty
pedantic Cadet Sprocket or Spork or whatever his name was...) could make
some headway against the Gordian knot of encryptions, but Jim knew he
was beaten. Frustrated, but having to admire whoever it was that had
outmaneuvered him, he went back to his quarters
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
By some quirk of scheduling Jim had no morning classes the day the test
that was scheduled for, so he went for a walk through the city that the
Academy sat in, hoping it might jog some last minute inspiration from
his mind as the hours and minutes counted down. But though he kept
turning the test over and over in his mind, it looked like the only
victory he would be allowed would be a pyrrhic one- inflicting as much
damage as he could on the enemy as the ship was lost, such as with a
core detonation. This might gain him points with some of the reviewers
but it wouldn't secure him that magical place in Starfleet Academy
legend, in which wistful instructors would regale their classes in years
hence with tales of James T. Kirk, the brilliant young scoundrel who had
actually beaten the Kobayashi Maru scenario
With beautiful views from every hilltop and rise, San Francisco was a
city that still favored pedestrians. A fantasia of old and new, where
modern plasteel spires soared up impossibly from amid blocks of
exquisite Victorian gingerbread houses, and where the quaintly clang-
clanging cable cars still competed with the infinitely more efficient
intercity transporter stations (which also used cables, fiber-optic
ones, to whisk people to a rematerialization pad at one of the 27 other
METROBEAM stations). On any other day he would've been more appreciative
of the sights around him, like the restaurants featuring the cuisine of
every country on Earth now joined by Vulcan and even Tellurite eateries.
Or the incredible antique shops along upper Market Street, some of which
even had old gasoline-powered groundcars sitting in their front display
windows. The kind of cars Jim liked: Furies! Chargers! Sting Rays!
Jaguars! Teste-rosos!!
But one shop did catch his attention as he strolled down the sidewalk
past it. It was eccentric even for this town, and at first glance he
wondered if it might be some kind of "hippie" museum. And in a way
perhaps that's what it was. For only a hippie---(from what little he
understood about them, he just knew they had smelled bad and took a lot
of LDS...)---would be foolish enough patronize such a business. Because
what it purported to sell, and seemingly with a totally straight face,
was magic
'Maybe that's what I need to beat this scenario, magic!' he thought, and
just for the hell of it entered the little shop, called SPELLS R US.
This should be good..
"Yes Jim, magic is exactly what you will want to have along when you
take command of the Kobayashi Maru this afternoon," said the white-
bearded old man in the bathrobe who stood behind the counter, "Your
instructors will never see this one coming. And I can assure you they'll
be quite impressed."
"How did you know my name?" asked the cadet.
"The same way I knew about your test this afternoon, and that you're
wondering what that woman across the street there looks like naked. With
magic."
"There's nothing magical about telepathy," smirked Kirk, "There are a
number races in this part of the galaxy who are telepathic to some
degree. And your guess about that hot blonde over there is hardly even
telepathy..."
The shopkeeper sighed. "Then I guess I won't bother trotting out my
other little attempts to show you I'm on the level. You'd just write it
off as me having transporters and cloaking fields and relativity
condensers hidden around the place. But believe it or not, I really am a
wizard. And if you really want to beat that test at 1300 hours I'm the
one who can help you do it."
"With 'magic', right?"
"Well of course. Magic is my business, my stock in trade. That and the
espresso machine over there. I've really got to get that fixed. And no,
I can't just wave my magic wand at it, it needs a whole new heating
element.... But assuming I actually could give you that ace-up-your-
sleeve you've been wracking your brains to find, would you be
interested?"
"That's a lot to assume. But if you could, then sure. I'll go along.
What have you got?"
"Well now, I have a number of interesting solutions. But since you'd
never believe anything I have to say and are only doing this as a lark,
a colorful story to tell about the weird shop you found on Market Street
and the 'character' who was running it, you'll wind up picking the
cheapest option. Which is this," the Wizard held out a spiky pink and
purple transparent crystal with the sheen of plastic
"What's that?" asked Kirk
"It's depleted dilithium."
"What the hell is dilithium?"
"I have no idea," admitted the wizard. He deftly wrapped it in a scrap
of old leather and held it out, "I just know it was indicated in your
case. In itself it's quite harmless, except for the powerful little
spell I've attached to it. That'll be six credits, if you're
interested."
Only six credits? Jim had expected this charlatan would try to take him
for a lot more, and the thing really would make an unusual and cool-
looking souvenir. He waved his Starfleet Credit Union chip over the
scanner and took the little package from the man
He started to stagger, caught himself. "Wow, that's.... Why do I feel
dizzy holding this?"
"Dammit Jim! I'm a magician, not a doctor. But if I had to guess I'd say
that your body is somehow sensing its potential for altering reality.
The crystal will do the same thing you were planning to do by
reprogramming the simulator. Although far more comprehensively, and on a
more sophisticated level. Put this in your pocket, and when you sense
the time is right, crush it. There's no need to unwrap it. The
parameters of your scenario will change drastically at that time."
Jim shook his head, fighting off his slight sense of light-headedness.
He decided it would go away if he had a decent lunch. All he'd had for
breakfast was an order of toast, which had come out of the replicator
unexplicably soggy and he'd tossed it out after one bite. Maybe if he
went to the student cafeteria the lithesome Cadet Uhura would be there.
So why was he still even talking to this old fool?! It was one thing to
have a good line of guff as part of your sales pitch, but it sounded
like the weirdo believed every word of it, as he went on about "timeline
mutation" and how his worthless enchanted crystal would change-
"Not just the images you'll be seeing on the viewscreen, but the very
structure of reality for everyone and everything within the confines of
the simulator. And PERMANENTLY, I have to warn you, unless you say the
reversal spell."
"Look Pops, this has been amusing, but I have somewhere I need to be. So
if you'll excuse me."
"Please, I haven't finished," the old man exhorted him, "because if you
don't say these seven simple words-"
But the headstrong young Iowan was already gone.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
As he steered his little shop toward his next assignment (Paris, 1968)
the Wizard laughed, "Oh that was just too easy! Like shooting fish in a
barrel..."
His encounter with the once and future famous starship captain brought
back fond memories of the early days of Spells R Us, before his
reputation had spread across the internet and then the ultranet, making
everyone so damn cautious. The heyday of prankster magic, when the
customer had invariably turned out to be his/her own worst enemy.
Although he'd come a long way through time and space and across several
orders of reality to find this particular James Kirk, so this could
hardly be compared to the type of seat of your pants wizardry he was so
fond of back then. His days of just picking a city, opening the doors
and seeing what sort of miscreant-in-need-of-a-lesson would come
wandering in were long past. Nowadays it was all about preparation and
study, running model realities, making damn sure you weren't making
things worse with your meddling or you weren't simply acting out of
spite, just because the customer's personality had rubbed you the wrong
way. Not as much fun but he slept better at night. And tonight (if those
crazy rioting French students didn't keep him up) he would sleep very,
very good..
The Alpha Quadrant would be a much safer place after today, and would
see a marked decrease in the number of half-human bastards being born
out there on the Final Frontier.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Uhura was not in the cafeteria as he had hoped, but Jim had a bit of fun
arguing Socratic method versus Kohlinar over sesame tofu salad with a
lovely but far-too-serious young Vulcan cadet (But weren't they all too
serious?); distracting her from her logical suppositions with his boyish
charm, and with the hand that he had casually perched on her leg and was
moving slowly up her thigh- until inevitably he was tossed halfway
across the room.
Which he had pretty much expected, and he acknowledged the taunts and
catcalls of the other cadets with a wry "Oh Well" expression. The fun
was in the pursuit after all. Luckily he had landed gracefully, rolling
and springing to his feet, so the crystal in his pocket hadn't suffered
any damage. Which was sheer blind luck since he'd forgotten all about
it..
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Nor did he remember he had it as he and a handful of his fellow students
took their place in the simulator's replica of the Kobayashi Maru's
bridge and familiarized themselves with the controls. He recognized all
the cadets here, each at a station that befit his or her chosen field of
study.
Sulu was the helmsman, Chekov controlling the ship's limited weapons
array, Uhura at communication; and the haughty supercilious Spork just
standing there like a dork, waiting to be asked the square root of five
billion or whatever it was a "science officer" did. And Jim himself
right in the center of this little make believe universe. The Captain's
Chair!
He turned to face the sheet of one-way transparent aluminum that stood
in for one of the bulkheads, from behind which he knew their instructors
were watching, and nodded wryly- We who are about to die salute you!
Then the lights in the simulator dimmed and suddenly they were moving
through space. Jim had been in simulators before but none anywhere near
this sophisticated. Through the seat of his pants and the soles of his
shoes he could even feel the faint thrumming of the massive warp engines
far astern..
"Three ships entering sensor range," announced Sulu, "Classification
unknown."
"On screen," ordered Kirk, and three ungainly tinkertoy-looking
spacecraft appeared before them.
"Magnify," he said, which made them appear a bit larger. They didn't
look particularly imposing, evoking the same instant "oh shit" response
that say a Romulan Warbird would, but he knew from having read up on the
debacle of 46 years ago that they were fast, armed to the teeth and not
friendly at all.
"They're closing on us, warp eight point five. Should I increase speed,
Captain?"
Captain. Jim sure liked the sound of that. Knowing that no one had ever
outrun them in this simulation, and that turning tail and fleeing at the
first sight of alien vessels had resulted in very poor marks for those
who had decided on this tactic (since you were supposed to behave as if
you weren't perfectly aware of what you were flying into), he shook his
head. "Hail them."
"No response, Captain," sang Uhura in her lilting voice. The rank
sounded even nicer when she used it.
By now he had all but forgotten they were not out in space but in a room
perched on gimbels right here on good old Earth, where even a hull
breach wouldn't do any worse than let in the sunshine and fresh air.
"Should I raise shields, Keptain?" asked Chekov nervously.
"Captain," spoke Spock, "May I remind you that raising the shields at
this point could be seen as a provocative act?"
Well duh! Thank you Mr. State-the-Obvious, Kirk sighed, and hunched
forward in his chair, "Not yet, Chekov. Alright Mr. Sulu, bring us
around. Let's be facing our welcoming committee when they get here."
"Keptain," squealed Chekov, "Dey are firing!"
Kirk shouted, "Raise shields! Return fire!"
This was it. The moment in which the Kobayashi Maru had been too badly
crippled to mount an effective response. He knew his performance so far
had been very average and by the book, and he'd done nothing to
distinguish himself. If he was ever going to pull off a miracle, now was
the time to-
A MIRACLE!! He remembered the crystal in his pocket, and not having any
other great ideas brought his fist down on it, hard!
For an instant the interior of the simulator was lit up by a brilliant
pink flash that seemed to come from everything and everyone in the room.
When Kirk could see again, the wobbling balls of energy that the alien
vessles had sent their way were going wide- missing the Kobyashi Maru by
mere meters.
What the hell?! They weren't supposed to miss. They never missed!
"They're hailing us now," came an unfamiliar male voice.
"Then by all means, put them on," Kirk replied, his own voice sounding
damned unfamiliar too for some reason.
On screen came a view of the battle bridge of one of the alien
destroyers, which was manned not by the tentacled monstrosities he had
expected to see, but by a gaggle of wholesome mid-twentieth century
school girls, in pigtails and cute little jumpers---the oldest of them
couldn't have been more than eleven years old---who were dwarfed by the
massive sinister high-backed chairs they sat in. The one in the center
spoke, "Oops! I am like so, so sorry! I think I pushed the wrong button.
This is my daddy's boat."
"Well try to be more careful. Your daddy's ship appears to have some
powerful weaponry."
"I guess so, huh? Well, um, what we wanted to know is, like- Do you know
which way it is to the Mall of the Universe? We're kinda lost..."
Kirk pointed, with an arm that felt surprisingly light and fragile, and
smiled. "It's that way. I'm pretty sure..."
"Oh, okay. Thanks Lady! And sorry about the whole disruptor bubble
thing," smiled the girl, and the three ships departed
Kirk reflected that he had certainly gotten his six credits' worth by
purchasing the old wizard's magic crystal. He had beaten the Kobyashi
Maru scenario, although at a rather unexpected cost.
Uhura was now a tall good-looking African man, possible Bantu, Sulu was
a svelte little Asian chick with silky black hair clear down her back,
and even Spork was looking pretty good right now- her finer features
making the bangs on her forehead seem far more appropriate, staring back
at him with that cool regal self-contained bearing that he'd always
found so annoying in Vulcan males and so attractive in Vulcan women. And
Jim himself..
He looked down at the front of his uniform and thought distractedly,
'Wow. I'd marry a set of tits like that!'
Just as the house lights came up, marking the end of the simulation's
run, and two seconds before the phalanx of Starfleet Security stormed
in---demanding to know what the hell was going on here---the stout
Slavic woman that Chekov had become slid her hand down into the front of
her uniform's slacks and wailed, "KEPTAIN! WHAT HEV YOU DONE?!? I HEV A
WEGINA!!!!!"
Myra
- 04.07.2020
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