"I am the resurrection and the life,' says the Lord. 'Those who believe
in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and
believes in me will never die." I take a deep breath through my nose and
stare over at my mother's tear-stained face as the priest continues
speaking.
"We are gathered here today to pay our last respects," the priest
announces, "and to celebrate the life of Joan Mary Woodgate, beloved
wife, mother and grandmother." I smile as I feel Stuart grip my hand-
even though he'd never met my grandmother, he'd agreed to come to the
funeral to support me and my parents, further proving what an amazing
boyfriend he is and how lucky I am to have him.
After a forty minute long service, during which my father delivers the
eulogy (my mother being too upset to do so), we- along with all the other
funeral guests- head to a nearby hotel for the post-funeral reception.
"It was a good service," Stuart says quietly to my still-crying mother.
"It was," my father concurs. "A good way to send her off, surrounded by
her family."
"MOST of her family," mum sniffs.
"I'm sure Sonia would have come if she wasn't in Australia," dad says,
referring to my distant aunt. "As for Sally..." Mum opens her mouth to
respond, but is prevented from speaking by the arrival of a girl- who
barely looks thirteen- at our table.
"Um, excuse me," the blonde girl whispers. "Are- are you Jamie-Lee
Burke?" I force a smile on my face despite the circumstances as I turn to
face the young girl.
"Hi, yes, yes I am!" I say, making the girl giggle nervously.
"Oh my god, I THOUGHT it was you! Um, could I get your autograph,
please?" The girl says, handing me a pen and two napkins, both of which I
happily sign.
"Who do you want it made out to?" I ask.
"One to Nina, please," the girl whispers. "One to Annalise."
"Here you go, Nina or Annalise!" I joke as I hand the pen and the newly-
autographed napkins back to the girl, who quickly scampers off.
"Even here," dad laughs, bringing a smile back to mum's face.
"Mum would probably laugh at that," mum chuckles. "Her celebrity
granddaughter getting asked for autographs at her funeral..."
"Excuse me?" An older-sounding voice asks, making me chuckle again.
"Susan?" My chuckle abruptly ends as I realise that the woman is
addressing my mother, rather than me, though as I turn around I emit a
small gasp nonetheless.
"...Sally?" Mum asks as she stares into the face of her estranged sister.
"Wh-what are you doing here?"
"Attending my mother's funeral, the same as you," My fifty year old aunt-
who I haven't seen at all this millennium- replies. "Mark, it's good to
see you again."
"Sally," dad says cautiously.
"And you must be James," Aunt Sally says, turning her attention to
Stuart, who freezes like a rabbit caught in a pair of headlights. "You
certainly grew up to be a handsome young man, how old are you now, 23,
24?"
"Um, I-" Stuart stammers.
"He's not James," I say with an air of defiance in my voice. "I'M James.
Or rather... I used to be." I maintain my composure as my aunt's jaw drops
open.
"Wh-what?" Aunt Sally asks with an air of anger in her voice.
"Four years ago I started transitioning," I explain. "To change my gender
from male to female. Legally, chemically and anatomically, I AM a woman.
Jamie-Lee Burke, nice to meet you. You may have heard of me from
television?" I hold out my hand for my aunt to shake, but much to my
dismay, she simply backs away from me.
"And- and you both APPROVED of this?" My aunt snaps at my parents,
causing nearby tables to start looking in our direction.
"Yes we did," My dad says with pride in his voice.
"And do you really think this is the right time and place to be having
this argument?" Mum says, making Aunt Sally frown with frustration.
"Do you really," Aunt Sally hisses, before sitting down next to mum and
lowering her voice. "Do you really think it's appropriate for THAT to be
here dressed like THAT?"
"'Her'," I say, anger seeping into my voice. "The correct way to address
me is 'her'."
"It never used to be," Aunt Sally snorts.
"But-" I shout, before lowering my own voice. "But it is now."
Internally, all I want to do is scream with frustration. I've been living
as a woman for four years. I've been a national celebrity for almost two
years. And sure, my public exposure has opened me up to criticism from
some small-minded people who refuse to accept the plainly obvious fact
that I AM a woman... But I could always write those people off as trolls,
idiots not worthy of my time or attention. To hear this bigotry coming
from my own family, no matter how long-lost they are... It cuts deep.
"You've got daughters, haven't you?" Mum asks. "They should be in their
teens by now... Haven't they heard of the Angels?" I smile as mum brags
about 'her famous daughter', but a thought suddenly occurs to me...
"That silly reality show on ITV2?" Aunt Sally scoffs, raising my anger
levels even further.
"Your daughters' names wouldn't happen to be Nina and Annalise, would
they?" Dad asks with a smile, having obviously had the same idea I had.
"Yes," Aunt Sally says, barely able to contain her own anger. "And I'd
thank you to stay away from them!"
"Now I know why we haven't spoken in fifteen years," mum spits.
"And won't do for at least another fifteen!" Aunt Sally hisses as she
gets up and walks away. Almost immediately, I feel tears start to well in
my eyes as the adrenaline thins in my blood.
"Oh god, Jamie," Stuart says, giving me a much-needed hug.
"Can- can we leave, please?" I whisper, blushing with shame as mum and
dad nod their permission.
"We'll get the tube home," dad says with a supportive smile.
"Just remember," mum says, grabbing my hand as I walk past, "you are
Jamie-Lee Burke. You are an amazing, rich, famous woman, loved by
millions. You are an amazing daughter, and you would be an amazing niece
too if you didn't have such an awful aunt!" I smile as I leave the
reception hand-in-hand with Stuart, glancing over at the table where my
aunt is sat with her daughters. I wince at the foul glare my aunt shoots
me as I leave, though I can't help but smile at the awestruck stares I
get from the two young women sitting with her- the same young teenager I
gave an autograph to earlier and an older girl, almost certainly her
older sister. I still let out a long sigh and two small tears as I sit
down in Stuart's car, before smiling as Stuart squeezes my hand.
"It'll be okay," Stuart says. "We'll be back home soon, where you can put
this behind you."
"Yeah, as if it's that easy," I sigh.
"Why did your mum fall out with your aunt anyway?" Stuart asks.
"Obviously if it's a sensitive topic-"
"It's okay," I say with a smile. "Mum and Aunt Sally fell out because-
and you'll like this- mum disagreed with the person Aunt Sally ended up
marrying. Felt he was unsuitable because he worked as a painter. An
artist, I mean, he painted portraits in a park, he painted my aunt's
portrait once, their eyes met, and the rest, as they say, is history."
"And he was the father of the two girls?" Stuart asks.
"One of them, I think," I say. "Dimly recall her already having a child
before she was married and the older of her two girls did look about 17
or 18."
"So let me get this straight in my head," Stuart says, barely suppressing
a giggle. "The aunt who had a child out of wedlock and who married an
artist ISN'T tolerant of your change, but your ultra-tory parents ARE?"
"I guess it's different when it's your own child," I chuckle. "Though
you're right, it IS pretty silly... Any of your aunts or uncles react
when you came out?"
"Not got any," Stuart chuckles. "Both my parents are only children, guess
I got lucky, heh."
"Says the man about to be the coolest uncle of all time!" I laugh,
reminding Stuart of his seven months pregnant sister.
"And the woman about to become the coolest aunt of all time within the
next week!" Stuart laughs. "Okay, you and Charlotte TECHNICALLY aren't
sisters..."
"I think if we've learned anything today," I chuckle, "it's that it isn't
blood that makes two women TRUE sisters!" Stuart and I giggle as we drive
back into the West of London, soon pulling up outside Charlotte's (and
my) vast home.
"Heyyyy," Charlotte sighs sympathetically as she greets us both in the
entrance hall with huge hugs (despite her seriously expanded belly). "How
was the funeral?"
"Mum was distraught," I sigh. "Then it got infinitely worse when my long-
lost aunt showed up..."
"Sounds like someone could use some ice cream," Charlotte giggles as we
head to the living room. "Stuart, you know where the spoons are, right?"
"On it," Stuart says. "You didn't give birth whilst we were out, then?"
My boyfriend laughs as my BFF playfully hurls a cushion at him, hitting
him squarely in the back of the head. Half an hour later, the three of us
are laid on the sofa- me laid across Stuart's slender body- after cooling
ourselves down on small tubs of rich chocolate ice cream.
"That really sucks about your aunt," Charlotte muses. "But it's good to
know her daughters take after their super-cool cousin..."
"Huh, never dawned on me that I have cousins," I muse. "I just always
thought of them as 'my aunt's daughters'..."
"The technical term for which is 'cousins'," Stuart laughs, earning
another cushion in the face. "I bet they'd be more surprised to learn
that they're first cousins of a celebrity..."
"They didn't realise?" Charlotte asks, giggling as I shake my head. "We
should DEFINITELY do something for them! Like, get them round to hang out
with us... You know you're the only one of us now who has young female
relatives? Krys and Viks only have younger brothers, Mary's and Hannah's
siblings are all older..."
"Huh, never thought of it that way," I say. "But they ARE only cousins,
and I've never even really met them..."
"Doesn't matter!" Charlotte laughs. "They're still family. Even better
than that, they're NEW family! Do you have any way of contacting them?"
"No, none," I say. "Their aunt basically forbade me from contacting them...
And besides, don't you have enough 'new family' of your own to look
forward to?"
"Hehe," Charlotte giggles as she rubs her belly. "You can never have too
much family. OR friends!"
"Very true!" I laugh as we while away the evening watching television and
listening to the latest recordings from Out of Heaven- the girl band
Stuart, Joshua and I formed last month (obviously Stuart, Joshua and I
aren't the singers!). Shortly after 10:30pm, I head to bed with Stuart,
sighing happily as I snuggle up next to his warm body under my bedcovers.
"Don't get too comfortable," Stuart laughs as he wraps an arm around my
body. "You might have to get up at any moment to drive 'mum' to
hospital..."
"Hehe," I giggle. "At least it won't interrupt my dilating, now that I
only have to do that once a week... Got THAT out of the way last night."
"I promise I'll stop being jealous of 'Mr Orange'," Stuart laughs, giving
me a long kiss on my forehead. "Get some sleep. While you can!" I giggle
as I snuggle closer to Stuart's body, quickly falling into a deep,
dreamless sleep.
I wake up the following morning to find Stuart sat on the edge of my bed,
already showered and dressed in his typical attire of a pair of old, dark
jeans and a dark burgundy-coloured sweatshirt that's just tight enough to
show off his slender but still masculine frame.
"Any reason you left me to wake up by myself?" I ask my boyfriend, who
leans into me and gives me a long kiss in lieu of an answer. "...That
doesn't really answer my question!"
"But you enjoyed it, right?" Stuart asks, giving me another kiss.
"Of course!" I giggle, leaning into Stuart to give him a kiss. "So can
you try actually answering the question now?"
"I left you to sleep because you're so beautiful when you sleep," Stuart
says, bring a wide smile to my lips.
"More beautiful than when I'm awake?" I ask.
"...Dead heat," Stuart laughs. "Asleep or awake, you're still the most
beautiful woman who ever lived."
"Just a shame I wasn't born a woman," I moan, thinking back to
yesterday's 'encounter' at my grandmother's funeral.
"Crap," Stuart says bluntly. "You ARE a woman. Doesn't matter how you
were born."
"But-" I interject before being cut off by my boyfriend.
"And don't bother arguing," Stuart says. "You didn't have all those
surgeries just to lay there feeling sorry for yourself because one
closed-minded, bigoted woman can't get past her own prejudices. Strip off
the covers, take off your nightie and what do you see?" Doing as I'm
told, I fold the covers back and slip off my tiny baby doll, staring down
at my naked hairless body.
"...A woman," I giggle.
"Take it from someone who's been there a lot," Stuart says. "Especially
in the first two years after I came out... I may not have had any aunts or
uncles, but my own maternal grandmother was still alive when I came out.
Still is now, actually."
"I've never heard you talk about her," I muse. "You or your sister..."
"That's because in her eyes, I am an abomination, an affront to god,"
Stuart says. "Her religion is more important than her own flesh and
blood."
"Ugh," I spit. Despite having been brought up as Christians, both Stuart
and I now consider ourselves agnostics, and completely anti-religion-
especially any religion that refuses to accept us as who we are.
"Exactly," Stuart sighs. "She was already upset at mum for marrying
someone far older than her, and me... I was kinda the straw that broke the
camel's back. She's not spoken to me, mum or Becca in AGES because of the
way they supported me. I think she still speaks from Emma from time to
time, but that's just because she's about to become a great-grandmother.
Grandma, that is, not Emma!"
"Hehe," I giggle. "Seems a bit harsh that she'd cut contact with Becca
though, how old was she when you came out, eleven?"
"Yeah, more or less," Stuart says. "But you know how she can be...
Especially if I'm late for work! See you later, beautiful."
"See you, sexy!" I laugh, blowing a kiss at Stuart as he leaves me alone
to muse once again on how lucky I am to have him both as a friend AND as
a lover. Most men, upon seeing me naked on my bed, would drop everything
and rush over to, well, 'take' me. And it's not that Stuart hasn't done
that himself in the past... But I don't know many men who would see a naked
woman laid on their bed and talk candidly about their past.
After a quarter of an hour I decide to get up myself and relax under a
long shower, taking the opportunity to shave off any body hair that's
grown in the ten days since my last wax treatment. As it's still chilly
outside, I dress in a plain black bodysuit, a pair of thick black tights,
a dark grey sweater dress and brown knee-high boots- a look that my BFF
strongly approves of as I head downstairs to find her already up and
about, preparing breakfast for the both of us.
"Sexy lady!" Charlotte coos, making me blush. "Is that a new sweater
dress? I know how quickly you get through them..."
"Had it a while," I say, playing with the hem of the short garment.
"You're right though, they are SO comfortable AND fashionable... A better
question would be why are you up and about? Let me get breakfast, for
crying out loud! What was your due date again?"
"...April 29th," Charlotte sighs.
"And what's today's date?" I ask.
"...Also April 29th," Charlotte chuckles. "Give me a break, Kate
Middleton's also overdue... And I'm technically not overdue YET."
"I did feel kinda guilty leaving you yesterday," I confess. "If you'd
gone into labour..."
"...Jon and Viks would've known what to do," Charlotte laughs. "I'm not
going to ask you to miss your own grandmother's funeral on my behalf..."
"I guess that's the way of the world," I muse. "One life ends as another
begins..."
"That's too deep for before the first cup of coffee!" Charlotte laughs
even louder. "Got anything planned for today?"
"Nope!" I say happily. "Today I belong to you and to Netflix!"
"You COULD always look up your cousins on Facebook," Charlotte says as we
finish our breakfast and head through to the living room.
"No... I need a lazy day," I laugh. "Gonna get manic enough in a few days'
time, and I've been so busy with the band lately..."
"'Lazy day' it is!" Charlotte laughs, grabbing the Sky+ remote and
loading up six back-to-back episodes of Mad Men, which we settle down to
watch. Before the first episode has had a chance to end, however, I'm
interrupted by a call on my mobile phone.
"Ugh, knew I should've switched this off," I moan, checking the caller ID
before answering. "What's up, Nikki?"
"Hey Jamie," my 'prot?g?' says. "Have you got a second?"
"Sure," I say, hoping that Nikki's problem is indeed one that can be
resolved in the space of a second.
"You know how we kinda have a sort-of 'teacher-pupil' relationship going
on?" Nikki asks.
"Um, yes..." I say.
"Well..." Nikki says. "I've kinda, sorta been getting my own 'pupils' over
the last year or so. Mainly through my association with Teen Globe
magazine."
"Go on..." I say, trying to calm my frustration at my prot?g? 'ruining' my
lazy day.
"One of my 'pupils'... Has kinda had it hard lately," Nikki says. "She was
hospitalised recently with an eating disorder, she's only thirteen, I
reckon she's probably got depression, possibly even PTSD. I... I kinda want
to do something for her, you know? A special day, a happy memory she can
keep."
"Sounds cool," I say. "Why do you need my help?"
"Umm," Nikki stammers. "I- I kinda, you know, need advice... Ideas on what
to do, maybe if you could speak to her as well..."
"I've kinda got a lot on my plate right now, Nikki!" I laugh. "She's YOUR
prot?g?, surely you know what she likes, what she'd enjoy?"
"Um, I guess..." Nikki says, clearly taken aback by my comparative lack of
enthusiasm. "I know she does ballet at Krystie's school..."
"There you go!" I laugh. "Get her in for a Monday lesson during the
holidays, I'm sure Krys will be happy to oblige. Anything else you need
help with?"
"No, no, just that..." Nikki says in a feeble voice.
"Okay, talk soon!" I say, clicking off my phone.
"Bit harsh, don't you think?" Charlotte asks. "Here I was thinking you
liked Nikki..."
"I DO," I insist. "Just- I was looking forward to a little downtime, you
know? Unofficial 'paternity leave'..."
"You only get that if you don't mind being called 'dad'," Charlotte
laughs, making me stick my tongue out at her. "What did Nikki want,
anyway?"
"Uh, one of her teenaged fans was in hospital lately, she wants to do
something nice for her," I explain.
"Oh, okay," Charlotte replies, before we turn our attention back to the
television. Whilst I do feel a little guilty about brushing Nikki off,
she IS an adult, capable of making her own decisions... And if she wants to
take a 'prot?g?' of her own- which is entirely her decision- she can't
expect me to take over 'mentor' duties when she finds it too hard. I
barely have the chance to muse any further on Nikki's problem, however,
before my phone rings yet again.
"Hi Steph," I say after checking the caller ID. "What can I do for you?"
"Hi Jamie," Stephanie replies. "Is now a good time?"
"Sure!" I reply after taking a deep breath. Stephanie is one of the
singers in Out of Heaven- alongside Becca, Joshua's niece Adeola and two
other girls- but unlike the other four, Stephanie hasn't always been a
girl.
Like me, Stephanie is a transsexual. Like me, Stephanie was estranged
from her parents, like me, she started transitioning at the age of
nineteen, and like me, she's found herself thrust into the spotlight with
very little time to prepare, so I've taken her 'under my wing', both
professionally as the sort-of 'coach' of Out of Heaven and personally as
another 'prot?g?' in addition to Nikki. Given how in demand my 'mentoring
services' are today, though, I'm already beginning to regret that
decision...
"I'm struggling a bit at ballet," Stephanie explains. "The other girls
are all so good at it, but I feel like a hippo, like I've got completely
the wrong body shape..."
"Have you spoken to Krystie about this?" I ask. "I'm confused as to why
you'd come to me about this, I've never been a ballet teacher..."
"Yeah," Stephanie says, "but, you know, I've read interviews with you
where you talk about how you struggled at first, I was wondering if, you
know, you had any, um, tips..." I roll my eyes, but keep myself from
sighing at Stephanie's question.
"I had one of the best ballet teachers in the world," I explain. "So do
you... Are you still at the dance studio?"
"No, just left," Stephanie says. "I can always ask on Monday, I guess..."
"Yeah..." I say, feeling a little guilty at brushing Stephanie off the same
way I brushed off Nikki. "You know, she IS your choreographer, I'm sure
she wouldn't mind you calling her, I know she can give you additional
lessons if you ask."
"...Thanks," Stephanie says, clearly sensing that I'm fobbing her off.
"Thanks for the talk, sorry I bothered you."
"Oh- no worries," I say, my guilt increasing. "Any time you need to talk,
just call."
"Thanks," Stephanie says, before hanging up the phone.
"'Any time you need to talk'," Charlotte laughs. "You certainly sounded
like you meant that!"
"...Shut up," I moan.
"And I'm sure Krystie will be happy to learn that she's doing all your
'mentoring' for her from now on," Charlotte teases further, making me
groan with frustration.
"Godddd," I moan. "Why can't I just have a quiet day every once in a
while?"
"Because I- and countless others- would be lost without you," Charlotte
says with a warm smile. "You're either the entire world's big sister or
their godmother." Charlotte rubs her swollen belly where my latest
godchild resides, emphasising her point.
"Yes, yes, point taken," I chuckle. "But it would be nice to just, you
know, have some time to myself every now and again..."
"I believe the technical term for that is 'holiday' or 'vacation',"
Charlotte giggles. "You and Stu decided on a location yet?"
"Oh- we're not going on holiday this year," I sigh. "Not with you about
to pop..."
"I'll have long since popped come August," Charlotte sighs. "I can live
without you and Stuart for a week or two if you want to go and get a
MASSIVE tan. Stuart's getting his ding-a-ling done in September, isn't
he?"
"October," I correct my BFF. "And not the way I'd have put it!"
Charlotte giggles as I immediately start imagining my dream summer
holiday. "But a break WOULD be really nice right about now..." Charlotte
giggles even louder, before handing me her iPad, which unsurprisingly
already has several holiday websites open on it!
I spend the rest of the afternoon browsing Charlotte's iPad for holiday
destinations, each one more appealing than the last, and when Stuart
arrives home, I (of course) greet him with a long, deep kiss... Before
shoving the iPad in his hand and demanding he pick a location!
"Ahh," Stuart sighs happily as we both flop down on the sofa. "Holiday
sounds so good right now... But can we really go when Charlotte- you know..."
"This one will be three months old by August," Charlotte says, squirming
uncomfortably in her chair. "I'll be fine by then, honestly, you two
deserve a holiday!"
"And you know you'll have all the recording done for the band by then," I
say. "And before you argue that Emma and Lee's kid will be born by then,
can I remind you that she'll have 12 months paid maternity leave, AND
grandparents, AND other godparents..."
"Okay, okay," Stuart laughs. "I like the look of Gibraltar, nice and hot,
people there speak English, and we can go into Spain if we want..."
"Baby may be older than three months by then," Charlotte says, before
gasping in pain.
"Ah- oh shit oh shit..." Stuart says. "Take deep breaths, we'll get you to
my car." I watch on in near-panic as Stuart leads the heavily-pregnant
woman out to his car.
"I'll get your overnight bag," I say, quickly running up to Charlotte's
room despite the heels on my boots, joining my BFF and my boyfriend in
his car seconds later, bag in hand.
"Did you lock the front door?" Charlotte asks, making me laugh
exasperatedly.
"Yes, I locked it!" I say. "Concentrate on your breathing, remember what
they taught you in your antenatal classes!" Charlotte nods as she
breathes in a slow, controlled manner as Stuart drives us all to the
hospital, where Charlotte is quickly put in a wheelchair and taken to her
reserved private room.
"God, this is it," I moan to Stuart as we sit in the waiting area. "Just
a few hours from now, a baby... Have you called Keith?"
"Umm, not yet," Stuart says. "Do you reckon he'd want to be here,
though?"
"For the birth of his child?" I ask. "Call him and let him know he has no
choice. Call Joshua as well- he'll probably want to send down a camera
crew." Stuart nods, grabbing his phone and heading outside as I rest my
head on the cool white wall. So much for the chance to relax and plan a
holiday...
"I've called Keith and Joshua," Stuart says as he returns fifteen minutes
later, grabbing my hand supportively. "They're both on their way. I've
sent texts to the rest of the girls. Keith sounds utterly terrified..."
"Can't say I blame him," I laugh, only for my face to fall seconds later
as Charlotte returns from her room, still in her wheelchair, still
sporting a massive belly.
"False alarm?" I ask my BFF, who nods, barely suppressing tears.
"It won't be long now," Charlotte's midwife- a friendly-looking woman in
her early forties- assures us. "Baby's just being a little restless but
he'll make an appearance in a few days. For now, it's important that Miss
Hutchinson gets some rest. Stuart and I nod quietly as we wheel Charlotte
back to Stuart's car. By the time we arrive home, it's only 5:30pm, but
all three of us are exhausted- Charlotte understandably more tired than
either myself or Stuart. After ensuring that the mother-to-be is
comfortable on the sofa, I head into the kitchen, where my boyfriend is
already hard at work preparing our evening meal.
"Frustrated?" Stuart asks, sighing as I nod. "Me too... And it's not even
my kid, heh."
"Between Charlotte and you, I'm going to be spending a lot of time in
hospital this summer," I whisper, stopping Stuart dead in his tracks.
"Yeah," Stuart laughs, though I can tell from the way his hands are
shaking that the reminder of his upcoming SRS was far from welcome.
"Stu..." I whisper, encircling Stuart's slim waist from behind. "You- you
ARE still, you know..."
"That is the plan," My boyfriend says. "I've lived 25 years without, you
know, 'one'..." Stuart trails off, clearly distracted by the gruesome
reality of what his operation will entail.
"No matter what you choose," I say, "I'll always love you for who you
are. 'One' or, well, 'zero'!" Stuart laughs as we share a tender kiss.
Later that night, as we climb into bed, I press my hand into Stuart's
crotch, feeling his engorged clitoris squirming between my fingers. It
doesn't take long for him to reach a pulsing orgasm, after which he dives
beneath the covers, his expert tongue finding its way to my own much
smaller clitoris. My own orgasm builds and builds as he teases my most
sensitive organ with licks, kisses and tender nibbles, until it feels
like my entire body explodes, leaving me gasping for air. Stuart re-
emerges from beneath the covers and gives me a long, tender kiss as our
heart rates both slowly return to normal.
"As I said," I giggle as I press my glistening body against Stuart's,
"whatever your body has, I'll ALWAYS love you." Stuart smiles happily as
he gives me a long, deep kiss, and I fall asleep with a smile on my face
as I play with the pale pink scars on Stuart's chest, imagining what
life- specifically, our sex life- would be like if he was 'complete'...
Unlike yesterday, when I wake up today, my body is still wrapped around
Stuart's slumbering form, which stirs as I squeeze him tighter until he
finally opens his tired eyes.
"Morning, beautiful," Stuart says, lazily giving me a kiss on my
forehead. "Got anything planned for today?"
"NOTHING," I giggle. "Need to be ready for Charlotte... Hopefully today I
can actually get some rest. AND plan that holiday!"
"Using a day off to plan a holiday," Stuart laughs. "Promise you won't
tell Joshua?"
"My lips are sealed if yours are," I giggle, 'sealing' my lips against
Stuart's, before resting my head on his chest and allowing myself to
truly relax for the first time in what feels like ages. All thoughts of
babies, work, Nikki or Stephanie leave my mind as every muscle in my body
seemingly melts into a puddle of jelly... Only to tense up again seconds
later as my phone bleeps to inform me of a new notification.
"Well, that was a nice 45 seconds," Stuart sighs. "Is it Charlotte?"
"No," I sigh as I read the text message. "It's Nikki... Asking if I've had
a chance to think about something she asked me yesterday."
"Is she having problems?" Stuart asks. "She still working up the nerve to
propose to her girlfriend?"
"No," I sigh. "One of the girls she's quote-unquote mentoring has been in
hospital, she wants to do something to cheer her up..."
"Sounds reasonable enough," Stuart says. "If Nikki's 'mentoring' her
though, why is she asking you for help?"
"Because I'm quote-unquote mentoring HER," I sigh.
"Ah, so you're Yoda, Nikki's Obi-Wan and the other girl is Luke?" Stuart
laughs.
"I'm getting a bit fed up of being called Yoda," I laugh as I swing my
legs out of bed and head to the shower, taking the opportunity to relax
as the hot water cascades over my naked body. After blow-drying my long
blonde hair, tying it into a ponytail and applying my make-up, I pull on
a fresh bra and thong set followed by a pair of thin black tights and a
casual, long-sleeved short black dress. Stuart, as always, pulls on the
same jeans and sweatshirt he wore yesterday, before wrapping his arms
around my tiny waist and nuzzling my neck.
"Stop that!" I giggle as I try to pull on a pair of 2"-heeled ankle
booties. "We need to be ready to go at a moment's notice, remember?"
"Yeah, but we could be here hours," Stuart mumbles into the side of my
neck.
"Settle down," I laugh, freeing myself from my boyfriend's clutches and
leading him down to the kitchen for a large breakfast- which is much
needed to get our energy back after last night!
I spend the entire morning on the sofa with Charlotte, waiting for her to
'pop', though unlike yesterday I at least have my sexy boyfriend to
cuddle up to- though this makes me cringe as I stare over at Charlotte,
who is laid out on her sofa all by herself.
"...Did Keith come to the hospital yesterday?" Charlotte asks quietly.
"I called him," Stuart says. "I texted him before we left, he must have
gone home before getting to the hospital. Didn't he call you yesterday?"
"No," Charlotte sighs. "Mary called me after I got home, and I chatted
with all the girls on Facebook, but not him..."
"He's not returned my text either," Stuart says, checking his phone. With
Charlotte and Stuart both checking their phones, I take mine out of my
bag to discover yet another text message and a voicemail from Nikki.
"Hi Jamie," Nikki's message says. "Sorry if now's a bad time, but have
you had a chance to think about what I asked about Laura? Only she's only
off school this week so ideally I want to do something today or Friday,
and I know she won't be at ballet this week either... Can you call me when
you get the chance? Thanks..." I sigh with frustration, before hitting the
'redial' button.
"Hi Jamie," Nikki says with a cheerful voice. "Have you had any ideas
about what I can do for Laura?"
"Well actually, no I haven't, Nikki," I say, barely keeping my anger in
check. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I am currently living with a
nine months pregnant woman, managing a girl band in addition to my own
career and Open University studies! Free time is kinda limited for me
right now, if you want to do something for this girl, by all means, but
don't come to me every time you have a mental block!" I take a deep
breath as Stuart and Charlotte stare at me, the mouths agape.
"...I'm sorry," Nikki mumbles after a brief pause. "I- I shouldn't have
bothered you..." I sigh as Nikki hangs up the phone, before my eyes once
again meet the accusing stares of my boyfriend and my BFF.
"...What?" I ask.
"First," Charlotte says in her most authoritative voice, "you're so far
behind on your university studies that you won't even graduate until next
year. Second, Stuart does more managing of that band than you do. Third,
the last time you were in front of a camera was at least a week ago, and
fourth, I'm the one actually having this baby, all you're doing at the
moment is planning a holiday!" I open my mouth to speak, but have no
response to what Charlotte has said.
"...You're right," I mumble.
"I think you owe Nikki an apology," Stuart says quietly, and I sigh again
as I nod before hitting 'redial' once again, wincing as the call goes
unanswered and I listen to Nikki's voicemail greeting.
"Hi Nikki," I say in a much kinder voice than the one I used a mere
minute earlier. "I'm sorry I snapped at you... I've been stressed out a lot
lately, my grandmother died a few days ago... But that's no excuse, I
shouldn't have snapped, I apologise completely. When you get off work
come round and we'll talk face-to-face-"
"Assuming WE'RE not at the hospital giving birth!" Charlotte yells,
making me chuckle and roll my eyes.
"...Anyway," I continue, "I AM sorry I snapped like that, I promise it's
not you I'm angry or frustrated with. Talk soon." I click off the phone
and sigh yet again, chuckling as Stuart wraps his arm around my waist.
"In fairness I've lost my rag with Becca before loads of times," Stuart
laughs. "Nikki is effectively your little sister, isn't she?"
"Yeah," I sigh happily.
"Ah, that makes me the only 'only child' then," Charlotte sighs.
"Call Nikki back and ask her to bring Sarah around so Charlotte can shout
at her," Stuart jokes, before being bombarded by cushions from both
myself and Charlotte!
"In all seriousness... I HATED being an only child," Charlotte says.
"Especially after my mum died and I was home-schooled... Really hope this
one doesn't end up as an only child too..."
"He won't," Stuart says confidently.
"And you're not an only child anymore," I say with a warm smile. "You've
got the five best sisters in the world!" Charlotte giggles happily as I
hop off my sofa to give her a long hug.
"And brothers too," Stuart says, joining in the hug. "And, I suppose,
nephews and nieces too. I suppose you could call Nikki and her gang
cousins..."
"I've got the best FAMILY in the world," Charlotte sniffles happily.
A few hours later, Nikki and Sarah arrive, and I make sure to greet Nikki
with a long, sisterly hug.
"Forgive me?" I ask my prot?g?, who simply nods and giggles.
"I am sorry I kept pestering you about this," Nikki laughs as she
crashes on the sofa with Sarah. "You're right, she IS my- well,
'responsibility' isn't the right word..."
"She's as much your 'responsibility' as you are mine," I shrug. "And as
you're my little sister, that makes her your little sister, which I guess
means that she's my little sister too!"
"Aww, you're Jamie's 'little sister'!" Sarah giggles, giving her lover a
tight squeeze.
"You BOTH are," I laugh. "Sometimes I forget what a privileged life I
really have, I mean, it's all very well people calling me 'one of the
most influential' or 'one of the most famous transgendered people in the
country', but all of that's meaningless if I don't- for want of a better
word- 'use' this fame to help other people, the way you help your girls
with your column in that magazine."
"I'm hardly Mother Teresa," Nikki laughs.
"That's your new nickname," Charlotte chuckles.
"Also I'm sure Mother Teresa never got up to anything like what we did
last night," Sarah says with an evil grin.
"Okay, enough," I giggle. "What do I need to know about this Laura friend
of yours?"
"From what I know," Nikki says, "she's basically everything I wished I
was when I was thirteen- ballerina, gymnast... Schoolgirl... I'm sure you
know the feeling." I wish I had... I think to myself. If I'd known ten
years ago what I know now...
Nikki and Sarah stick around for the next two hours, during which Nikki
and I once again become best friends- the bottle of wine we share
certainly helping to ease any remaining tension- and we come up with a
plan to cheer up Nikki's friend tomorrow. I- and, of course, Stuart-
climb into bed just after 10pm, still feeling 'merry' from the alcohol I
drank, which Stuart finds out as I press my naked body into his.
"That's a LOT of booze you downed tonight!" Stuart jokes, wrapping an
arm around my tired body. "But what you did is cool... I guess you're right
in a way, never occurred to me that I could be, like, a 'role model'..."
"Any 'new boys' that come along, I'll be sure to point them in your
direction," I giggle.
"Meantime, get some sleep," Stuart says, giving me a long kiss on my
forehead. "Don't want to be TOO hungover for your 'Jamie'll Fix It'
tomorrow."
"We are NOT calling it that, especially not when I'm helping out a 13
year old girl!" I say, giving Stuart a gentle punch in the ribs.
"I wasn't insinuating anything..." Stuart laughs. It doesn't take long
before we both fall asleep, and when my alarm wakes me the following
morning at 7:30am, my head is indeed buzzing- though it's far from the
worst hangover I've ever had, and five minutes under the blissfully hot
water of my shower clears it completely. I apply a moderate layer of
make-up for the day ahead- enough to be glamorous, including silver eye
shadow and my favourite scarlet lipstick, but not enough to be considered
'thick'. I clip on my favourite new necklace- the necklace Charlotte gave
for Christmas last year- before pulling on a comfortable bra and thong
set, a pair of translucent black tights and a chic, sleeveless dark grey
dress. As I'm going to be spending the day with Nikki, who's 3 inches
taller than me, I pull on a pair of stilettos with a 4 inch heel, before
spraying on some perfume, grabbing my handbag and heading down to the
kitchen- where Charlotte is, of course, already awake.
"Now you DEFINITELY shouldn't be up this early," I laugh. "Especially as
you're not going to get another lie-in for oh, the next eighteen-odd
years?"
"Oh whatever," Charlotte laughs. "What time you leaving?"
"When Nikki gets here," I say. "Assuming she's not too hungover... I've
asked her to pick up Hannah to 'babysit' you today."
"Just as long as it's clear she's babysitting this," Charlotte says,
pointing to her belly, "and not me!" I giggle as I finish my coffee,
before Nikki arrives a short while later. After bidding both Charlotte
and Stuart farewell (Stuart will be at work all day today), I jump in
Nikki's car, smiling when I turn around to see Stephanie already sat on
the back seat.
"Hey Steph!" I say. "LOVE your skirt!"
"Thanks!" Stephanie replies, smoothing the pleated black miniskirt over
her patterned tights. "Didn't really know what would be appropriate for
today... Did you say that we were visiting a 13 year old girl?"
"Yeah," Nikki- the unofficial 'leader' today- replies. "I'm sure you
remember being thirteen. It's not like it was a decade ago or anything..."
"If you weren't driving us I would tip everything in this glove
compartment over your head!" I say to my prot?g?, who chuckles
uncontrollably. "23 is not old..." I have to admit, though, that compared
to Nikki and Stephanie, I AM older. The one main thing I've taken away
from being a 'mentor' is that I've had to grow up a lot myself in order
to be able to pass down some of my 'maturity'... And as Nikki knocks on
Laura's front door, I can't help but beam with pride at the way the
eighteen year old conducts herself.
"Hello, Mrs White?" Nikki says to the middle-aged woman who answers the
door. "I'm Nikki Thomas, we spoke on the phone last night?"
"Oh yes," Mrs White says with a smile. "Please, please come in!" If I
felt old in the car, I feel positively ancient when I enter the living
room and meet Nikki's 'prot?g?'- even though I know she's thirteen years
old, she's very small for her age, looking closer to eleven... But that
hasn't stopped her from wearing make-up, fancy earrings, a fashionable
skirt (very similar to Stephanie's)... With her blonde hair, she's almost
like a miniature version of myself. Again I wonder how different my life
would been if I'd discovered who I truly was when I was younger, like
this girl so obviously has...
"Hi, are you Laura?" Nikki asks, giggling as the girl jumps off her sofa,
gasping in shock.
"Oh. My. God!" The small girl squeaks in a voice very similar to the one
Nikki herself used when we first met, which feels like ages ago. "I'm
SUCH a huge fan of yours..."
"Thanks!" Nikki says. "These are my friends, Jamie-Lee Burke and
Stephanie Abbott... We're here because we know you've been through a lot
lately, and we figure that it's about time you had a 'win'."
"So, we've clubbed together," I explain, "and we've got you a 'girly
goody bag'." Laura gasps as Nikki turns over the bulging hessian bag.
"It's mostly filled with cosmetics, some clothes, some promotional
material for the Angels and the Teen Angels."
"And," Stephanie says with a smirk, "the first ever signed photograph of
Out of Heaven, who you may not have heard of yet, but you will soon!"
"Oh my god, thank you so much!" Laura beams.
"All three of us have been where you are now," Nikki explains. "We know
how tough it can be, the obstacles you have to face to be the person you
always REALLY wanted to be, so we want to give you something that's more
valuable than anything in that bag- we want to give you our support. On
the way over here, all three of us- with your mother's permission- sent
you Facebook friend requests. If you ever have any problems, day or
night, just drop us a message."
"Don't expect an immediate response, though," I laugh. "We all have jobs,
you have school... But I promise we won't ignore you if you need our help."
"Oh my god, this is amazing," Laura says, visibly on the verge of tears.
"Thank you all so, so much... My friends are going to be so jealous!"
"When I added you," I say, "I noticed that we had a mutual friend in Viks
Brooks- how do you know her?"
"Um, she's my boyfriend's sister," Laura explains.
"Small world!" Nikki laughs, prompting a girlish giggle from the four of
us. "Well, you're part of an even larger family now!"
"No wonder Krystie calls you her 'Little Angels'!" I joke, prompting
another mass giggle. Nikki, Stephanie and I stay at Laura's house for
another 45 minutes, listening to her stories about her friends, her
school and her fledgling acting career. By the time we leave, it's clear
that all three of us have grown to like Laura, despite her youth.
"Got any other kids we can help?" I ask as I get back in Nikki's car.
"Got the charity bug?" Nikki laughs. "I will admit, that did feel REALLY
good, doing my part to bring a smile back to her face... Kinda like a
transgendered make-a-wish or something."
"Get used to that Steph, you'll be more famous than all of us combined in
a few months' time!" I laugh, making the brown-haired singer giggle
nervously.
"Did you hear Laura talk about her acting and her dancing?" Stephanie
retorts. "Give it five years, SHE'LL be more famous than all of us
combined!" The three of us all laugh as we head home, our hearts warmed
by our good deed. Immediately as I arrive home, I head up to my laptop
and switch on my laptop to start brainstorming ideas. Nikki talked about
what we did today as a 'charity'- and it's a sad fact that there are many
girls- and boys- in Laura's situation that could use the services of an
organisation who can offer counselling, support, morale boosters... Plus,
on a purely selfish note, it'd be nice to get my tax bill down a little
from where it was last month!
I make note of several ideas for all manner of things, including possible
services, links to service providers, fundraising opportunities and even
a few charity names, before closing my laptop and heading downstairs,
where I'm immediately greeted with hug from Hannah.
"Hey fairy godmother!" Hannah squeaks.
"'Fairy godmother'?" I laugh as I sit down next to the tall, bubbly girl.
"You spent all morning granting wishes, didn't you?" Hannah laughs.
"I sent a Facebook friend request," I laugh. "And gave away a bag of our
surplus crap..."
"You made a difference to her, though," Hannah says. "That's the main
thing. It's just a bag of crap to you, but to her, it's a gift from
someone who took time out of her busy schedule to do something nice. She
won't forget this for a long time, even if you do."
"Next time I do this, I'm not wearing a costume," I laugh.
"That's the weird thing about being famous," Charlotte muses. "So little
to you can mean so much to someone else, kinda like to your cousins
earlier in the week."
"Thank you for reminding me about that," I say, grabbing my iPad off the
coffee table.
"Oh, are these the girls at the funeral who asked for your autograph not
knowing that you were blood related?" Hannah asks.
"The same," I say with a smile. "I've decided I'm going to ignore my
aunt, track them down and shoot off a friend request to both of them."
"Atta girl!" Charlotte laughs. "Do you know where to find them?"
"I'm asking my mum for their surnames," I explain. "They're bound to have
Facebook accounts, I think one's eighteen and one's thirteen..." Like Nikki
and Laura, I think to myself.
"Whilst you're waiting for a response," Charlotte says, "Where are you
going for girls' night tonight?"
"With you two days overdue?" I ask. "Seriously?"
"It's still Friday," Charlotte chuckles. "That means it's girls' night-
day- night- whatever..."
"I. Am. Not. Leaving. You. Alone!" I reply.
"Relax!" Charlotte laughs. "Besides, I arranged my own 'babysitter'
tonight."
"Who?" I ask. "Stuart's staying at his parents' tonight, all the other
girls are coming out, apart from Lauren, Dannii and Kayla, who are only
seventeen... Is it one of them? I didn't know any of them could even
drive..."
"You'll see," Charlotte says in a coy voice. Two hours later, my jaw
drops as I answer the front door and stare straight into the perfectly-
formed face of Keith Michael Hartley, who beams a genuine smile at me.
"Hello Jamie," Keith says, speaking as though we were old friends- which
I guess we technically are. "Is my son in there? And, also, the woman
he's currently inside!"
"Umm, yes," I say, watching in a state of shock as Keith heads into the
lounge, greeting Charlotte with a friendly hug as though THEY were old
friends- which I guess they technically are too.
"Umm..." I mutter.
"Girls night!" Charlotte says. "Go on, shoo!" I nod as I head upstairs
with Hannah, and before I realise what's happening, I've already applied
my thick clubbing make-up and changed into one of my tiny black dresses,
ready for the night ahead.
"...Keith!?" I ask incredulously.
"He IS the baby's father," Hannah shrugs. "And he and Charlotte are back
on speaking terms..."
"Yeah," I sigh. "But, you know, Keith!?"
"Oh, relax!" Hannah giggles. "Just enjoy the night! You'll be knee-deep
in nappies here before you know it... Probably- hopefully- next week, in
fact!"
"You're right," I say as I pull on my skyscraper stilettos and head down
to the Angelmobile, giving Charlotte a hug on the way out. As always, the
night is fun- the nightclub managers bend over backwards to accommodate
us, reserving the VIP area for our exclusive use and plying us with free
drinks, and as I arrive home just after 2am, I feel tired and yet
exhilarated- though my worries return yet again as I see Keith's car
still parked in the driveway. Before I head to bed, I briefly stick my
head round the door of Charlotte's nursery- well, her son's nursery, I
guess- and sure enough, Keith is in there, curled up in a sleeping bag on
the floor. Logically, if Keith's still here, Charlotte will be as well,
so rather than wake her, I head straight to bed, waking up the following
morning to the smell of bacon filling the house. Rather than shower and
THEN get the smell of cooking in my hair, I instead head downstairs
immediately to find Keith and Charlotte sat at the breakfast table,
enjoying their first meal of the day. It's not the first time since their
separation that they've eaten like this, but every time I see the two of
them together, it just feels... Strange. As though it was meant to be, but
at the same time, it ISN'T meant to be.
"Hey Jay!" Charlotte giggles. "Have you heard the good news? Someone's in
labour..."
"Umm, you don't LOOK like you're in labour," I say as Keith hands me a
much-needed bacon sandwich and a cup of hot, sweet coffee.
"Not me, silly!" Charlotte giggles. "Kate! Kate Middleton's in labour.
My- sorry, OUR son could be the twin of a prince or princess!"
"Ideally princess," Keith laughs. "That way I can go to a royal wedding
as father of the groom!"
"No, this one's already promised to Kristina-Leigh!" Charlotte laughs,
rubbing her belly.
"Eh, she can marry Prince George then," Keith laughs, before checking his
phone. "Ugh, text message from my mum, she wants to know when I'll be
home..."
"Well, Jamie's up now," Charlotte says. "If I start, you know, 'popping'
she'll drive me to the hospital!" Not before I shower, I won't... I think
to myself.
"Okay," Keith says with an air of sadness in his voice, before standing
up and giving Charlotte's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "See you later,
Charlotte."
"Yeah," Charlotte whispers. "See you, Keith." Without another word, Keith
finishes his coffee and leaves, and as the sound of his car starting
reaches the kitchen, tears start running down Charlotte's face.
"Oh god, Charlie," I say, embracing my BFF. "You STILL love him, don't
you?"
"It never gets any easier," Charlotte sobs into my shoulder. "Seven
months, you'd think it'd get easier... Jamie, do you- do you still, you
know, 'like' him?"
"...Not really," I say. "I mean, yes, I remember, you know, 'liking' him,
but those feelings... I've had a chance to work through them, put them
behind me."
"I really, really wish I knew how to do that," Charlotte moans.
"You'll find someone, seriously," I say. "I thought I'd never find anyone
after I split from Paul, but now look at me and Stuart..."
"You're so lucky he forgave you," Charlotte says, before pausing as she
realises exactly what she said. "Umm, by which I mean, umm..."
"You're right, I AM lucky," I say. "I think that every day I'm with him...
But do you know how else I'm lucky? I'm lucky YOU forgave me, and that I
have you in my life."
"There really was nothing that needed forgiving," Charlotte laughs. "I
was the bitch... You know I was home-schooled from when I was fourteen,
right?"
"Yeah," I reply.
"...And I was possibly the most spoiled girl in the history of the world,"
Charlotte sighs. "Anything I wanted, I got... Including Keith."
"How did you two meet, anyway?" I ask. "I know you said once that your
parents and his were friends..."
"Work colleagues, really," Charlotte says. "The summer after I turned
fifteen, daddy held a barbecue here for his colleagues, I saw Keith
across the patio, and I just... I knew then that he was the boy I wanted to
be with. Of course, he had a girlfriend of his own at the time, but she
was out of the picture quickly enough. I lost my virginity to him- that
should go without saying- and he always claimed the reverse was true as
well."
"Even though he had a girlfriend before you?" I ask.
"He was also fifteen," Charlotte says. "His parents were dedicated
church-goers, like mine. Of course, that didn't mean that I was willing
to wait for my sixteenth... The rest you already know. I've never looked at
another man the way that I looked at Keith that summer nine- god, NINE
years ago... No other man has made me feel the love I feel for Keith. Lust,
on the other hand..."
"You were brought up to believe that whatever you wanted, you deserved to
get," I muse, taking care to place all the blame squarely at the feet of
Charlotte's late father.
"EXACTLY," Charlotte says. "A mistake I DON'T intend to make with this
little one!" I giggle as the smile returns to Charlotte's face- if I'd
had the upbringing she had, with all the turmoil in her family, I have no
doubt I'd be much, much more messed up than she is- and I know that
despite her actions last year, her infidelity, she truly is capable of
learning from her mistakes.
I spend the day with Charlotte, waiting for her to 'pop'. We go watch
some of her old home movies, including some old videos of 16 year old
Charlotte and Keith that bring yet more tears to Charlotte's face. The
videos that make her smile the most, however, are the most recent ones,
from 2011 onwards. The videos recorded after I came into her life, after
the 'official' formation of the Angels... And I realise that no matter what
blood or the law may say, Charlotte and I truly are family. We may both
be only children in the eyes of the law, but as far as we're concerned,
we may as well be twins.
It being a Saturday, the rest of our 'extended family' start to arrive
later in the afternoon for the traditional girls' night in. Mary and
Kristina-Leigh are the first to arrive- with the Irish woman already
stating that the royal princess (who was born earlier in the day) had
better stay away from 'Kristina-Leigh's future husband'- followed by
Krystie, Hannah, Viks, Nikki and her friends and the whole of Out of
Heaven. Even in Charlotte's main entertaining room, it feels somewhat
crowded with sixteen girls present (seventeen if you count Kristina-
Leigh), but I still manage to find a private corner of the room to talk
to Nikki and Stephanie.
"Hey, you two," I say with a smile. "Still got the warm glow inside that
you only get from doing a good deed?"
"Hell yeah!" Nikki laughs. "That's a surprise about Viks's brother being
her boyfriend, though... I'd have expected Viks to have helped Laura out,
to have spoken to her before we did."
"Don't forget she doesn't live with her parents anymore," I say, making
Nikki nod. "What I REALLY want to talk about is who we help next."
"Umm, none of 'my' other girls have any real immediate need," Nikki says.
"I didn't say 'immediately'," I reply. "But we three... We're in a position
to do a lot of good, offer a lot of help to girls like Laura, who are
having difficulty."
"Oh my god, you actually ARE setting up a charity!" Nikki laughs. "Aren't
you going to be busy enough with Charlotte and her baby and Steph and her
band?"
"It's more of a long-term project," I say. "Probably won't even get it
off the ground until 2017 at the earliest, I'm just brainstorming ideas
right now and wanted you two to know as I'm probably going to be leaning
on you both for support!"
"Dibs on a desk job, preferably in management!" Nikki laughs. "Now, if
you'd excuse me, it's Lauren's birthday on Tuesday, obviously we won't be
able to party here due to the arrival so we're kinda having an informal
celebration now!"
"Okay, give my best to Lauren!" I laugh as Nikki leaves. "Steph, you've
been kinda quiet, is everything okay?"
"Hmm?" The brown-haired singer says. "Oh, um, yeah, just a little tired,
that's all..."
"What do you think about the charity idea?" I ask.
"It sounds good!" Steph says with obvious forced enthusiasm. "Sounds like
it could really do a lot of good work for, you know, girls like us..."
"Good," I laugh. "As you're going to be the big superstar I'm probably
going to be calling on you a lot!" Steph giggles nervously, before we're
distracted by a loud 'ooh' from the other side of the room, which I
quickly discover is centred on Charlotte.
"Don't tell me you've FINALLY gone into labour?" I ask my BFF, who sticks
her tongue out at me.
"No, but check this out!" Charlotte laughs as she holds up a tiny blue
all-in-one with the word 'cherub' printed on the front. "Sarah got this
for me- well, for Keith jnr, really!"
"So cool," I laugh.
"And eventually, Keith jnr might actually wear it!" Krystie laughs.
"I'm only three days overdue, give me a break!" Charlotte laughs. "I ate
a curry tonight and everything..."
"You KNOW she'll go into labour in the middle of the night, right?" Mary
laughs.
"Why do you think I'm drinking orange juice?" I say, prompting a mass
giggle. "Anything now, Charlie? The excitement of being in a room with
sixteen women not enough to entice him out?" Charlotte rolls her eyes,
before laughing and shaking her head, much to the dismay of the assembled
women.
"Kristina-Leigh's gone home with her dad," Mary laughs. "THAT's the only
woman he wants to see!" Laughter fills the room, and continues to fill
the room for the rest of the evening until the party dissipates just
after 10pm, Charlotte being understandably exhausted from all the
excitement. I head to bed myself shortly afterward and fall into a deep
sleep, even despite Stuart's absence from my bed. I wake up just after
7am and lay awake in bed for a while, enjoying having the chance to
relax. My relaxation is shattered mere minutes later, however, when
Charlotte bangs hard on my bedroom door.
"What is it?" I ask, jumping out of bed.
"What do you think!?" Charlotte yells. "Now! We need to go now!" My brain
races and I experience a moment of panic as I scramble through my drawers
for something to wear, eventually settling on a very plain black bra and
panty set and a short-sleeved blue dress.
"Hurry, hurry!" Charlotte wails. I nearly start to hyperventilate as I
pull on a pair of flats, accidentally getting them on the wrong foot
before eventually sorting myself. "I swear, Jamie," my BFF continues, "if
you come out of there wearing make-up..."
"I'm ready," I say, grabbing my handbag and leading my BFF down to my
car. Within thirty minutes, we're back at hospital where Charlotte is
wheeled away from me to her delivery room, leaving me alone to send off a
raft of text messages- the first of which I send to Keith. Within fifteen
minutes, a handsome young man arrives in the waiting area, but that man
is my boyfriend, rather than Charlotte's ex.
"Hey," Stuart says, greeting me with a kiss. "How is she?"
"Haven't heard," I say. "If it was another false alarm... We'd have heard
by now, surely?"
"Umm, don't think it works that way," Stuart says as we sit down
together. "The baby will do whatever he wants..." Within minutes, we're
joined by the rest of Angels, as well as Joshua and his family, and even
Ellen, who I haven't seen myself in months. The clock ticks onward,
passing 10am, and as the waiting room fills with people- and even a
camera crew- one person is conspicuous by his continued absence.
"You- you did text him, right?" Hannah asks.
"He was top of the list," I reply. "Texted him again an hour ago, still
no reply... Jon, could you nip outside and call him, please?" The tall,
dark-skinned man's eyes go as wide as dinner plates as I put him on the
spot, causing me to cringe a little.
"Why me!?" Jonathan asks. "You've known him longer than any of us..."
"He might be more willing to talk to a man," I say, trailing off as I
realise how weak my explanation is.
"I'll call him," Stuart says.
"Are you sure?" I ask. "You and he haven't seen eye-to-eye since
Christmas..."
"We're hardly arch-enemies," Stuart says. "He'll listen to me, I know he
will."
"Okay," I concede. "Hurry back, babe." The room hangs in silence for two
minutes before Stuart returns, shaking his head.
"...Well?" I ask.
"No answer," Stuart sighs. "Left a voicemail. Really hope he gets here
soon, I know he'd be devastated if he missed the birth..."
"It'd have killed me if I missed Kristina-Leigh's birth," Dan says as he
cradles the still-tiny girl in his arms.
"Any kids we have, I'll be there every second of the way," Jonathan says
to Viks, who giggles and rests her head on his shoulders. Another hour
passes with no sign of Keith anywhere, and we all begin to get agitated,
making plans to return later, when our group is approached by a nurse.
"Are you with Miss Hutchinson?" The nurse- a kind-looking woman in her
early thirties- asks.
"Yes," I say. "Sorry if we're taking up too much room, she doesn't have
any family, we're-"
"It's quite okay," the nurse says with a smile. "I just thought you'd
like to know that Miss Hutchinson gave birth to a baby boy fifteen
minutes ago, weighing 7lbs 13oz. Mother and baby are both fine, they're
getting some rest but will be able to receive some visitors in a few
hours' time." The entire waiting room almost shakes as everyone bursts
into cheers of joy and a loud round of applause.
"Please let her now that we're thinking about her," I say. "What time can
we come back?"
"She should be okay at about 2pm," the nurse says. "There weren't any
complications but as you can imagine, Miss Hutchinson is utterly
exhausted!"
"We'll be back at 2," I say as the crowd slowly disperses, some going
home, some- like myself and Stuart- heading to the hospital cafeteria for
some lunch.
"I should call my mum, let her know everything's okay," I say. "It's
weird- whist it was a pregnancy, it seemed like some sort of future
adventure, something to look forward to, but now it's not a pregnancy any
more, it- sorry, HE's a baby..."
"I know what you mean," Stuart sighs, before a sly grin creeps across his
face. "You know, you look kinda cute without make-up. Like, not even
remotely masculine..."
"Thanks," I laugh. "You look cute without make-up too!" Stuart lets out a
snort of laughter as he checks his phone.
"Still nothing from Keith," Stuart sighs. "I texted him letting him know
that, well, it's 'over'. Kinda like to think that he's on his way..."
"Let- let's just get something to eat," I say. After lunch, Stuart and I
head back to the waiting area, which isn't quite as packed as before.
Joshua is still present, as are Krystie and Mary, but the rest of the
guys and girls have departed.
"Still not 2 o'clock yet," Krystie sighs. "Think she's still asleep."
"Has Dan gone home?" Stuart asks Mary, who nods with a tired smile.
"Kristine-Leigh was getting restless so I told him to take her home,"
Mary explains.
"Too many people around?" I ask.
"Are you kidding?" Mary laughs. "Only time that little diva hates there
being too many people is when they aren't paying attention to her!" I
giggle as I sit down next to Stuart, the five of us in the waiting room
willing the clock to tick onward- and hoping for the arrival of the new
father. By the time 2 o'clock rolls around there's still no sign of
Keith- but as promised, the nurse we spoke to earlier returns, wearing a
wide smile on her face.
"Ca- can we-" I stutter to the nurse, who simply nods, her smile getting
even wider.
"Miss Hutchinson is awake," the nurse explains. "I think she'd really
appreciate some company." The five of us smile as we head into the room
where Charlotte is laid in bed, a tired smile on her tear-stained face-
and as I catch a glimpse of the tiny bundle in her arms, tears
immediately begin to flood out my eyes- making me thankful I didn't wear
any mascara today.
"Oh god, Charlie..." I wail.
"Don't, you'll start me off again!" Charlotte says in a shaky voice.
"Keith jnr... This your Aunt Jamie. Next to your mummy, she's the most
amazing woman in the world!"
"He's so beautiful..." I whisper.
"Just like his mother!" Joshua says in the softest voice I've ever heard
him use.
"I- I know there are cameras out there," Charlotte whispers. "But I- I'd
just like this moment, please..."
"I'll tell them to go home immediately!" Joshua says. "This is your time,
not mine."
"He's so gorgeous!" Krystie squeaks. "He's got his father's nose..."
"Where is Keith?" Charlotte asks, her face falling when we respond with
frowns.
"I've called him," Stuart says. "Left a voicemail. He should be on his
way here..."
"Well at least his godfa