Satisfaction Anonymous
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Sissyholics Anonymous free porn video
Sissyholics Anonymous
by Aimee Westin
(aimee 2)
Step One
The first step is to admit that you have a problem. And that problem is
twofold. First, there is your testosterone addiction which has been
worsened by the social conditioning that has caused you to present
yourself to the world as a faux man. Second is fact that you are
powerless over your sissy urges. As a result, your life has become
unmanageable.
You will lie, deceive, & misrepresent yourself to others in order to
maintain a male facade, all the while knowing that you have no control
over your desire to be feminized. When that desire comes over you, there
is nothing you won't do to satisfy it.
You may try to resist at first, but in the end you know that you will
surrender to your compulsion to wear pretty, feminine clothes and
underwear, to paint your nails, to put on make-up & to walk in high
heels.
No matter how hard you try to banish them, these thoughts return again
and again, possessing you, until you can think of nothing else. It is
worst of all when your little clittie gets hard and the only relief you
get is to rub it until you make a cummy all the while fantasizing about
being a girl. But the relief is only temporary and you know the
compulsion will return. In fact, it is still there, simmering just
beneath the male mask you have once again assumed.
No matter what vow you make to yourself that from now on you will
measure up as a man, that you've worn your last pair of panties, that
you'll never again slip your feet into a pair of strappy stiletto
sandals--that you won't even allow yourself to think of such tantalizing
delights again--you know it is hopeless. You have made such vows
countless times before.
You've even gone so far as to throw away your secret stash of girly
clothes, erase the sissy sites from your computer history, delete your
collection of transgender porn fiction.
All to no avail.
You only acquire a new wardrobe of girly clothes, search out the same
sissy sites online, and reassemble your transgender porn collection. How
many times must you run through the same destructive cycle before your
realize that will-power is not enough? That you will never overcome your
sissy proclivities? Accepting the fact that your sissy compulsion is
stronger than you is the first step of Sissyholics Anonymous.
Step Two
Having admitted to yourself that you are a sissy and that you cannot
control your sissy urges, you are now ready to turn your life over to a
higher power. Only a stronger will than yours can bring your life to
order and return you to some semblance of sanity. But first, you must
surrender yourself unconditionally body, mind, and soul to this higher
power. Are you ready, sissy?
Unconditional surrender means just that. There will be no going back.
You must truly and unreservedly open yourself up in every way. You must
give yourself over to this power without question. You must let it fill
you, guide you, do with you whatever it decrees. You must fully accept
that you are no longer in control of your life--that you were never in
control of your life.
Consider yourself fortunate to have realized this at last. Many never
do. Through no fault of their own, they lack the will & the insight, but
most importantly the self-honesty necessary to admit their weakness and
therefore change for the better. You, however, have reached a crucial
turning point. But you must follow the decrees of your higher power
faithfully and diligently and with no holding back. If you can do so,
you are certain to succeed. Thousands and thousands of sissies attest to
the fact. This program works!
Step Three
Dear Daddy, I have come to realize the need for guidance from a higher
power. I have made the decision to turn my life and care over to you. I
fully understand and accept the fact that this is the last decision I
will ever be allowed to make. I know that sometimes the path you set me
on will be hard to follow and I will be tempted to resist, to disobey,
even to run away, but I promise to always do my best to stay the course.
If I should falter, I expect and accept that you will punish me as you
see fit. This is something I want with all my body, heart, and soul. My
old way of life is ugly and unacceptable to me now. I can never go back
to it. If I do, I know that I will perish. My attempts at being a man
were always a failure and always will be, a pretense, caused by a
deformity of birth and a mistake of nature. For me, testosterone is a
poison that has warped my judgment and blinded me so that I have not
been able to see my true identity.
Please collar me, leash me, make me yours. Cure me, Daddy, once and for
all, of this terrible disease. I am too weak to do it alone. I
understand that now. Help me, Daddy, to become the sissy that I was
always meant to be.
Step Four
It takes real courage to look at yourself and your life with complete
honesty. Can you find the courage do that, sissy? Can you review your
past behavior without rationalizations and excuses, without throwing the
blame for your own shortcomings as a man onto others?
This is an essential step in the healing process.
It is not enough simply to admit that there is a problem; you must
accept the fact that you are the problem. Being a sissy isn't easy.
Being a sissy takes balls! It takes the balls to accept the fact that
you should never have been born with balls in the first place, that all
your attempts to "man up" were doomed to failure from the start. Do you
have what it takes?
You must come to understand that your relationships with others could
never have succeeded so long as you were living a lie. In your case,
being a man was a lie. You could never be truly happy in your career, in
your family life, in your own skin as long as you lived this lie. So
long as you kept your secret hidden, you were doomed to repeat the same
mistakes again and again.
You can blame your parents, nature, society, or even God. But ultimately
only one person can take responsibility for your failures and change
your life and that is you, sissy.
Are you finally prepared claim responsibility for your past, your
present, and, most importantly, your future? If so, you will begin to
heal. Only then can you truly hope to change. But that change can only
occur when you are fearlessly honest with yourself. This is why when
introducing ourselves to each other at meetings we say, "My name is
(your feminine name) and I am a sissy."
Step Five
At this stage, you must be ready to admit to yourself and to your Daddy
a.k.a your Higher Power, all the defects of your character, the wrongs
you have done, and the people you have hurt in your failed attempts to
be a man. You can't hold back. You must divulge everything, no matter
how shameful, painful, and self-incriminating. Be exact. Omit no
details. Remember, the devil is in the details and you are trying to
cast the devil out.
The humiliation you experience while recounting these painful episodes
in your life is the poison leaving your sissy body. Did you affect a
swagger as a man? Did you try to do manly things, like lift weights,
grow a goatee, or drive fast cars? Were you loud, boastful, opinionated?
Were you driven by the need to succeed and dominate, running roughshod
over anyone in your path? Did you present yourself as a "ladies man,"
attempting to seduce, charm, and bed every available woman who crossed
your path? Did you marry? Did you "father" children in the mistaken
belief that doing so would somehow prove you were a man? In other words,
did you over-compensate for your essential lack of real masculinity by
adopting an exaggerated but hollow faux manliness?
Admit this to yourself, to your Daddy and also to at least one other
person presently in your life, preferably a wife, girlfriend, or other
woman who your actions might have hurt. This is not the time to hold
back, sissy. Look deeply into your past behavior. Be ruthlessly honest
and open about your shortcomings and own up to each of them without
reservation.
Step Six
This program will only work if you are completely honest with yourself.
We cannot stress this point enough. Are you ready to stop lying and
pretending? Are you ready to stop projecting and blaming your character
defects on others? Are you ready to give yourself over in trust to a
higher power? Only Daddy can help you remove these defects once and for
all. Are you ready to have Daddy cure you of the crippling disease of
your fake masculinity?
You must be prepared to make a 100% commitment to Daddy. You must be
ready to leave behind everything you've ever thought of as "you." Your
friends, your family, your profession, your hobbies and pastimes--you
must be ready and willing to drop them all. This is a matter of life and
death, sissy. Do you fully appreciate this fact? This is an all-or-
nothing endeavor. You cannot take half-measures.
Once you commit to Daddy, it is completely and for keeps. Whatever Daddy
wants, you will do: whether it's breast augmentation, lip enhancement,
permanent make-up tattooing, trachea shaving, cheekbone implants,
piercing or other body modifications. Whether you keep your "boy
equipment" or have it partially or even completely removed and replaced
by a vagina is up to Daddy. It is Daddy who will decide whether you keep
a regular job, continue to see your family, maintain some or any of your
old friendships. It is Daddy who will determine whether you will become
his sissywife, a prostitute, a sex slave--or all three. Daddy will
determine what you eat, what you read, what shows you can watch on TV,
what sites you can and cannot visit on the internet, even what music you
listen to. Daddy will determine each and every aspect of your life from
now on based on what will make you the best sissy you can possibly be.
Some people will call this program brainwashing. Others will dismiss it
as an unhealthy and potentially dangerous form of masochism. Still
others will claim such a surrender of will to be a form of identity
death. But it is only by making such an extreme investment in your own
rehabilitation that you have any possibility of a cure. Are you ready
sissy?
Step Seven
You've tried, sissy. You've tried to change on your own. But what you've
found is that you can't do it yourself. That's why you have turned to
Sissyholics Anonymous. This program offers you a last best chance at a
cure.
You need the help of a real man in order to help you overcome your
testosterone addiction. You've taken the initial steps, but you can't
stop here. Now you must go further.
Ask Daddy to erase whatever remains of your pitiful and insignificant
manhood.
Be humble.
Be authentic.
Acknowledge that you cannot do it alone. You need a real man and a real
cock to show you the way to a cure. Convince Daddy of your sincerity.
That you are committed to overcoming your shortcomings and being the
best little sissy you can be. That his efforts won't be a waste of his
precious time. Model your prayer on the following, but use your own
words.
"Dear Daddy, i am a sissy. i fully acknowledge and accept this fact. i
am not a man and never have been. But i need help in overcoming the
conditioning of a society that has tried to make a man out of me. i need
help in overcoming my own mistaken expectations that i could ever take
my place in the world as a man. i have confused the biological
"evidence" of my sex organ as proof that i was male, when, in fact, it
is insufficiently endowed to perform such a function. What i have is not
a "penis" but a sissyclit. What i have is not a vagina, but a
"sissypuss." They exist, as does my sex drive, for the amusement and
pleasure of a real man, such as you Daddy. If it pleases you, i want to
be your fucktoy, your harem girl, your sex slave. Do with me what you
like. That is what sissies are for. That is what i am for. Finish me,
Daddy. Make me a sissy."
Speak with sincerity. Don't hold back. Pray as you would to your Higher
Power, for your Daddy is the manifestation of that Power. He is your
Higher Power in human form.
Humility is key. Convince Daddy that you mean what you say. Show him
tangible proof of your intentions.
Even if you don't have a Daddy yet, pray to him as if he were already
present in your life.
Rest assured, when the time is right, he will come.
Step Eight
Now is the time to make a detailed personal inventory of all your past
relationships. This can be an intensely painful process for many sissies
but it is absolutely necessary. You cannot in good conscience move
forward into a new life until you've made amends with those in your
past.
Family, friends, lovers, spouses, children, even employers and business
colleagues--how many have you disappointed and deceived by pretending to
be a man?
Blinded by your selfishness and your inability to control your sissy
urges, your self-destructiveness has not damaged you alone, but caused
untold hurt and embarrassment to those around you, those who thought
they knew you, those who trusted you, and those who loved you.
You insinuated yourself into their lives by pretense, even if that
wasn't your conscious intention. Imagine their disappointment, their
shock, and their anger when they discover that you're a sissy. If only
you'd have been honest from the start. They would have never have become
involved with you. No wonder they feel betrayed! Can you blame them for
feeling the way they do? Haven't they every right?
Think of how many lives you've disrupted, how many promises you've
broken, how much of their time and trust you've stolen. But this is
not an excuse to throw yourself a pity-party, sissy. Feeling sorry for
yourself, wallowing in guilt, indulging in self-pity--that's what you've
done in the past; ultimately, such feelings are just another
manifestation of your selfishness.
Instead, this is a time to take action, to take responsibility, to own
up to the mistakes you've made. To become a better sissy. Make a list.
Show it to Daddy. Ask for his suggestions. Have you left anyone out?
Don't spare yourself. Be thorough. You have a lot of apologizing to do,
sissy. The sooner you do it the sooner your burden will be lifted and
the clearer and easier the path ahead will become.
Step Nine
Now comes the step you've probably been dreading all along. It's time to
make amends directly to those who've been hurt and betrayed by your
pseudo-manhood.
In apologizing to those you've hurt--either purposely or
inadvertently--through your testosterone addiction and uncontrollable
sissy predilections, you will at last put your tumultuous past in order
and prepare yourself to move forward with your new sissy life.
But remember: this step is not primarily about you.
You are not looking for pity, courting sympathy, or expecting to be
forgiven. You are simply and honestly coming clean about who and what
you are. Without excuses or rationalizations, you are saying you're
sorry that your actions and attitudes have caused damage in the lives of
others. You are taking responsibility for leading other people astray as
to your real nature. Even if you'd been unsure, confused, or conflicted
about your identity as a sissy up to now, you are acknowledging that it
was your responsibility to have been upfront about that confusion.
It is important that you talk to all those affected so long as doing so
wouldn't cause additional harm; for instance, if you have young
children, or sick or very elderly parents; in such cases it is advised
that you consult a healthcare professional before proceeding. Those who
are long out of your life and who have clearly expressed no desire to
hear from you again may, in fact, have a change of heart if they were to
learn of the "new you." In such cases, you must exercise your own
judgment. Enlist the aid of your higher power--Daddy--if you find yourself
in doubt.
Parents, siblings, ex-spouses and ex-lovers should be at the top of your
list. Chances are that you have hurt and disappointed them the most.
They should be among the first of those with whom you seek to make
amends.
Friends and colleagues, neighbors, and whoever among your casual
acquaintance that you feel you might have hurt should also be included.
Sit down with your employer. He or she has the right to know, especially
going forward, who and what you are, and whether, under the
circumstances, they choose to keep you in their employ.
Yes, it will be painful and embarrassing, humbling and humiliating, but
this is the price you must pay for the hurt you've caused others in the
past. This is the toll you owe in order to pass through to a healthy
future without a debt to the past.
Step Ten
Each and every day a sissy must take stock of herself, her thoughts, her
actions, her mannerisms, her speech, her dress and deportment. Is she
exhibiting all the traits of a good sissy? Is she as pretty, as
pleasing, as obedient, as submissive as she can be? There is always room
for improvement. A good sissy is always trying to be a better sissy. She
is always conducting an ongoing personal
inventory.
Has some former remnant of her old false male identity somehow
insinuated itself back into her life? Has she become selfish,
opinionated, aggressive, ambitious? If so, she must identify and
eradicate these vestiges of inappropriate male behavioral patterns
immediately. She must apologize as quickly as she can to anyone she has
inadvertently subjected to these absurd outbursts of artificial
masculinity.
Relapses are common, but not inevitable, and if a sissy maintains a
proper vigilance they can be circumvented even before they manifest
themselves.
A sissy can break the bad habits of her testosterone addicted past, but
it takes a total, continued, and committed effort. It takes honesty and
humility and a willingness to admit that you cannot do it entirely on
your own.
As a sissy, everyone knows that you are weak, that you need guidance and
a firm hand. No one expects you to do it alone. So don't be ashamed to
ask for help.
Embrace your submissive and subservient sissy nature. Turn to those who
are stronger, those who will be happy to help you to become a better,
sexier, more useful sissy.
Step Eleven
Meditation and prayer can take many forms. For a sissy it takes the
form of constant study in order to be the prettiest, sexiest, most man-
pleasing sissy she can possibly be.
Accordingly, her "prayerbooks" will be the most current fashion
magazines so that she can stay au courant on the hottest new looks; her
meditation guides will be publications offering tips and advice on make-
up application, skin care, and hair styling. Her devotional reading will
include romance novels, from the cheesiest found on drugstore bestseller
racks to old classics like Wuthering Heights, and, of course, sex
manuals whose purpose is to teach you techniques designed to drive men
wild in bed.
A sissy should also take care not to neglect publications offering
recipes, such as cookbooks or food magazines, for a man doesn't live by
blowjobs and anal sex alone. A good sissy knows how to satisfy a man's
every appetite, whether it originates in his cock or bis belly. A
magazine such as Martha Stewart Living is useful reading for a sissy as
it provides myriad tips for creating a comfy, welcoming environment in
which your man can fuck your brains out. He will be sure to appreciate
the effort and pains you take to provide these feminine touches, even if
only subconsciously.
Just as prayer and meditation take a special form for a sissy, so does
contact with and knowledge of her higher power. For a sissy, of course,
her higher power is her man, a.k.a. her Daddy. A good sissy will forever
be hoping to understand, satisfy, and even anticipate her Daddy's every
need and desire. She will eagerly absorb Daddy's instruction and
education in this and every regard. And, if for some reason she should
fall short of expectations, she will unhesitatingly and with genuine
contrition offer herself up for whatever punishment or correctional
discipline Daddy deems fitting.
Though she may never truly know Daddy's mind, it being so far beyond and
different from her own, her life will be enriched by her effort to
understand what it is to please her Daddy and in knowing that she always
does her best to do so. In this way, a sissy will know that she has
lived a meaningful life.
Step Twelve
Becoming a sissy is a spiritual, as well as a physical and psychological
awakening. For the first time in your life, you will feel truly alive
and free. No longer one thing in public and another in private, as a
sissy, you will feel whole, complete, and at home in your own skin. Even
though you are still often a subject of ridicule among the intolerant
and ignorant, still shunned by a close-minded society, nonetheless
you'll discover an inner freedom and a sense of self-esteem that you've
never felt before.
Why?
Because you are no longer living a lie.
You won't feel the burden of guilt and shame knowing that deep-down you
are a fraud, that you are deceiving others--and even yourself. Having the
courage to say to the world "I am a sissy" and to accept the
consequences that may follow takes real courage. It's something of which
you can be proud.
What's more, only by being yourself will you make yourself known to the
people who are looking for a sissy like you. Be assured: they are out
there.
But if you hide the fact that you're a sissy, how would they know where
to find you?
Up to know, you've known nothing but the pain and the fear of rejection
as a sissy, but that's mainly because you've lived among people who
would never accept you for what you are. By changing yourself, you will
change the people around you. You will find your true tribe.
No one pretends it will be easy. Sacrifices will have to be made--often
painful ones. Breaking your testosterone addiction and the faux male
conditioning imposed on you from birth will likely be one of the very
hardest things you will ever do in your life. But the rewards are beyond
anything you can imagine.
Once you take control of your life, you will bring your growing sense of
yourself as a sissy to every aspect of your life. You will be a sissy at
work, at home, at play, and in all your personal relationships. At the
same time, you will seek to carry the positive message of sissyhood to
other sissies still struggling to free themselves from the chains of
addiction. You will bring your message to them not merely through words
alone but, more importantly, through your example as a self-identified
sissy. And you will be in the vanguard of a new sexual/gender revolution
One day, through efforts of sissies like you to reach self-realization,
it may finally come about that sissies will be accepted for what they
are and what they can offer. Until then, we continue on our path of
sissyhood, day by day, night by night, waking each morning and moving
forward one high-heeled step at a time.
Good luck and godspeed!
* * * *
This story was originally written to caption a series of illustrations
and can be read as such in its original incarnation on my blog sissypop!
along with more of my stories, drawings, and real-life transgender
musings. You can find sissypop! at: sissyforlife(dot)blogspot(dot)com.
Gigi
- 09.06.2020
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