Diane, A new beginning
Janet L. Stickney
[email protected]
Somehow the dress just felt right. I had dreamed of this moment for a long
time, yet I had always been too scared to even try it! That was the first
time I have ever worn women's clothing, and now I know for sure that it was
exactly what was missing in my life. I don't know why I had dreamed about
it, but quite often over the years, in my dreams, I drew a mental picture
of myself as a girl, one that I was sure I could never achieve.
As I dressed the softness of the underwear, the silky tautness of the
nylons on my legs, the way the skirt flowed around my legs, the aroma of
the makeup and the taste of lipstick mixed with the subtle, cloying scent
of the perfume I had used overwhelmed me. The black high heels I had on
made my legs more shapely, made me stand more upright, arching my foot as I
felt an elation that simply could not be described!
My name is Duane, I'm age 16, and I am, like most teenagers, able to take
things on faith, quite often not knowing that serious consequences might
occur as a result of that faith. It was a sunny Friday afternoon, and the
family had gone to visit my Aunt Helen for the weekend, leaving me alone in
the house for the whole time. For no apparent reason I walked into my
sister Sharon's room and looked around. Sharon was 18, just a couple of
years older than I am. Her room exuded femininity with pink and white
paint, lots of dolls from her childhood, posters of all kinds, and the
smell of her perfume. I had always liked the perfumes she chose because
they smelled so...feminine. All at once I was overcome with the desire to
dress in her clothes, a feeling I had felt before, but had never acted on.
I walked over to the closet and began looking at the bulging wardrobe, the
profusion of colors bursting out as I opened the door. I'm not husky in any
way, but rather, I have a medium to slightly husky build, I'm taller than
my sister, about 5' 7" tall, which usually never bothered me, and in this
case, would work to my advantage.
I found white panties, a white bra, some panty hose, a slip, and put them
on the bed. Out of the closet I took a short, dark green skirt, a pale
green blouse and some black heels. With some unknown force guiding me, I
stripped and began to dress in her clothes, and when I was dressed in just
panties and the bra, I started experimenting with the makeup I found lying
on the vanity. As I dressed and the soft material caressed my skin my heart
quickened, and then, as I looked in the full length mirror and I saw the
girl in my dreams, my heart started pounding hard, because I had become
that very same girl, the unknown girl in my dreams! I had tried to do
something with my hair, but just could not master it, and simply ended up
just brushing it into a ponytail.
"If you aren't just the prettiest thing!" I recognized the voice of course,
and as I swallowed my tongue, I spun around to see Sharon standing there.
We stood speechless, looking across the room at each other. I wanted to run
and hide, become part of the floor, something that would take me away from
the inquiring stare of my sister.
"I...I...I thought you were going to Aunt Helen's with Mom and Dad!"
"I can see that! I also see that you have very good taste Duane. That's my
favorite outfit!" I was froze to the chair, waiting to see what she would
do next. "Why don't you finish getting dressed and let me see you?"
I paused, then she held out the pantyhose.
"Go ahead Duane. I'll be back in a few minutes."
She left me standing there with a handful of nylon and a lump in my throat,
but I sat on the bed and pulled them on, then the skirt and blouse. I had
just stepped into the heels when she returned.
"Turn around and let me see you." With apprehension I slowly spun around on
my tiny heels, my skirt flaring, and showing my nicely shaped legs. "Damned
if you don't look terrific Duane! I never would have guessed that you
wanted to dress in women's clothes, or that you could look so good! You
need some help in the makeup department, but otherwise you look really
good!" I stood perfectly still, just standing there, because I was ashamed
to be found dressed like this.
"Gee Sharon, this is the first time I ever dressed like this! Honest! I
don't know why I did it, but I did. Don't tell MOM or DAD...PLEASE!!!
"I won't tell Duane. I think it's kind of neat! I always wanted a sister,
and now I have one!" I heard the words, but at first I wasn't sure I heard
her right! "It's obvious that you need some help, so why don't you let me
be the one to help you? I could see the hair on your legs right through the
nylons Duane! If you want to do this, then why not do it right?"
"Other than my hair, what else is there?" She did not hesitate to tell me.
"Like I said, you'll have to shave your legs, so why don't you go in and
take a bath and shave off all of the body hair you can reach, arms, legs,
chest, and include under your arms, and wash your hair, then I'll help you
dress after that." I was full of apprehension, but driven by an unknown
force I did as she asked.
Unlike some brothers and sisters, I trusted Sharon. I knew she wouldn't
make fun of me or my desires, and she had offered to help, so I stripped
off the clothes and did as my sister told me. When I came out of the
bathroom, I was in my robe, and I was as hairless as I could make myself.
The cooler air felt different on my skin, dryer and cooler than I
remembered from a regular shower. Sharon was waiting for me, holding the
white panties for me to slip on. As soon as I was modestly covered, she
took me by the hand and began helping me dress. The bra was stuffed with a
pair of falsies that she had used when she was younger, then she adjusted
the bra straps to fit me better, the underwire bra cups pulling my chest in
just enough to help accent the illusion that I had boobs.
I rolled the pantyhose up my now bare legs, the sensation of silky nylon
making me almost swoon with pleasure. She held out a panty girdle for me to
slip on, and when I had pulled it up, I could see that I had a smooth front
and no bulge to give me away. Sharon handed me a waist cincher, but I had
never seen one before, so she helped me put it on; She could see that it
gave me a more slender waist and she was sure that the skirt would fit a
lot better. Me? I was gasping for air, which she ignored. Then she led me
to the vanity where she began to apply a liquid foundation, then a light
dusting of translucent powder. Fortunately we had a reasonably similar skin
tone, which she had commented on before she started. Sharon started the
color with a rose and copper eye shadow, black eyeliner, black mascara that
made my lashes longer, and fuller, then a blusher that highlighted my
cheekbones. Sharon took tweezers to my eyebrows, thinning them just enough
to define a feminine shape, but not enough to make them definitely female
in shape. "Now then, lets get the slip on, and then we'll get the skirt and
blouse." I pulled the half slip to my waist, and Sharon helped me put the
skirt on.
It fit much better than the first time I had it on, since the waist cincher
had done its job quite well. The skirt easily zipped up all the way, and I
had a reasonably good figure. I slipped on the black heels once again, not
teetering at all. Sharon sat me at the vanity once again and began on my
hair. I wore my hair longer since that was the current style, which was
good, because it made it easier for her to create a feminine hair style for
me. Sharon began rolling my still slightly damp hair in rollers, following
a pattern she found in one of her newest teen magazine, and also trimmed it
a little. I was under the dryer for half an hour or so before she began to
take out the rollers and comb out my hair.
When she was done I had a very nice feminine hairdo. It was combed out for
fullness and it flowed around my lower neck, just above my shoulders.
Sharon trimmed the front so my bangs were not quite so long.
"Why don't you slip on the blouse now, and then we'll get some lipstick on
you." She chose her favorite color, a dark red, and watched as I applied it
with a newfound skill. "Come on Duane. I bet your just busting to see what
you look like now."
I stood, and slowly turned towards the mirror. I was stunned to say the
least! There, before my very eyes, was an attractive girl, one that I was
attracted to, except I was the girl! I was in a state of shock at the total
transformation I had undergone. Sharon's total feminization of me was
superb!
Sharon interrupted my thoughts. "While you were in the bath Mom called to
say that they have decided to stay for the rest of the week at Aunt
Helen's. They'll be gone, it's Friday, you're all fixed up, so why don't we
go out tonight?"
"What? Like this?"
"Nobody will ever know that you are not a girl Duane, and yes, I mean you
and I, as sisters out on the town!" I wasn't sure, and gave her my scared
look. "Just look in the mirror again. Tell me what you see. Does that look
anything like a boy to you? I'll just bet that you want to go out, don't
you?" My small grin confirmed it for Sharon and she smiled at me. "We need
a name for you. A female name. I can't call you Duane all night, somebody
would figure out your a boy right away. Got any ideas?"
I blurted out the name of my dream girl, "Diane," before I realized what I
was saying.
"Okay Diane it is. Now then how about some jewelry for the prettiest girl
on the block." Like most of the guys at school, I had pierced my ears, so
Sharon gave me some long gold dangle type earrings, a matching necklace and
bracelet, then she squirted some of her best perfume on me.
As we ate dinner, Sharon warned me about some of the things I would have to
watch out for.
"Remember that your name is Diane, and don't panic if some of the guys look
at you. They're just going to be sizing you up. There is no way for anybody
to know that you are not a girl unless you blow it. In the ladies room,
don't stare. Just do your business and get out, but remember to sit down to
pee! I'll give you some of my ID just in case. Keep your elbows closer to
your body, and walk slower with a shorter stride. I'll be there with you
all night, so don't worry, I won't let anything happened to you." She
looked at the clock, then said, "Let's see what we can do with your
nails." Sharon filed and shaped my nails into a very feminine oval, and
then applied a red polish that matched my lipstick. As Diane, I spent the
rest of the time learning how to walk in the heels, hold a purse, sit, and
generally be demure, all the while trying to overcome my fear.
At 7pm Sharon led me out of the house for my very first night "out" dressed
as a girl. We arrived at Diamonds about half an hour later. I felt like my
knees were shaking so bad that I might not be able to walk, but at my
sisters urging, I went into the club, right beside her. We found a table,
and Sharon had made me order my own drink.
"You can't be a mute dear, might as well learn now as later."
It wasn't long before the both of us had young men at our elbow wanting to
dance.
"Ah come on Diane, let it go. Don't be so uptight."
Sharon told the guys that we would love to dance, and I found myself out on
the dance floor being held closely by the young man. "I'm Greg. I haven't
seen you here before, what's your name?"
"I'm Diane Guzaki, and yes, this is my first time here." The music ended
and Greg led me back to the table where Sharon and her friend Jeff were
already seated. After the introductions all around, Jeff asked me "where
are you from Diane" and before I could answer, Sharon spoke up.
"She's my cousin from Gaylord, she's staying with me for a few days, so
don't get your hopes up." The evening passed quickly for me, and when the
good-byes were over Sharon and I went home.
"Well now Diane, how was the evening? I couldn't help but notice that you
and Greg were pretty chummy during the last dance!"
"I was tired! That's all!"
"If you say so hon'. Let's get ready for bed, I'm beat. See you in the
morning."
I went to my room and undressed, with the events of the evening racing
through my mind. The excitement of being dressed was one thing, but to be
accepted as a girl by everyone I met was another thing all together! I
slipped into bed, and quickly dropped off to sleep.
"Come on sleepy head, get out of bed." I awoke to find Sharon gently
shaking me. After I took care of my morning needs I went down to the
kitchen to find Sharon cooking breakfast. "Eat good this morning Diane, we
have a big day ahead of us." Her use of my new name was music to my ears,
but the "big day" stuff sounded ominous! I helped her clean up the kitchen,
and then we went to Sharon's room.
"Look Diane, we have the whole weekend free, and are off all next week for
term break, and Mom and Dad are gone, so why don't you let me use this time
to improve your feminine skills? This will be the best time for you, since
we have so much time on our hands."
I knew she was right, and in a moment of desire over riding my common
sense, I nodded my agreement. Sharon began setting out what I would wear.
Light blue panties and bra set, nude pantyhose, the cincher and panty
girdle I wore the night before, a simple white blouse and a pair of her
jeans. The shoes were brown loafers. She had me start with a shower and a
very close shave, although I only shaved three times a week as it was.
After my shower Sharon had me dust well with powder, giving my skin a silky
feeling.
"Come on Diane, shake a leg! We've got a lot of shopping to do. I think
it's going to be a long day."
When she was dressed, Sharon came in and did my hair once again. I was
wearing some of my own jeans, but they were a pair of smaller ones that fit
tight. A loose blouse and my own brown loafers completed my ensemble. We
got the car and headed for the mall. I felt comfortable because nobody took
me for what I really was. The very first store that we went into was a
lingerie shop well known for the sexy style of clothes they sold there.
When I left the store I was well outfitted, with several pairs of panties,
with matching bras, and some very well made breast forms that were an exact
match for my skin tone. I also got two corsets that Sharon insisted that I
try on. They were, in a word, tight! I resisted, but ended up wearing one
of the corsets out of the store, with Sharon telling me I would need it
later on.
By the time lunch had rolled around, I had a very respectable wardrobe all
of my own, and Sharon told me we were just getting started! We strolled
into a small but popular dress shop that carried mostly cocktail and prom
type dresses. I browsed in the racks and found a "skimmer" type cocktail
dress that was fire engine red, low cut, and had thin straps to hold it up.
In my excitement, I blurted out "Sharon, I just have to try this on! It's
perfect!" Taking the dress into the changing room, I quickly stripped off
the jeans and the blouse and put the dress on. When I walked out so that
Sharon could see it, Sharon and several of the other women there smiled at
the way the dress fit me, nodding that I should buy it. Hugging my breasts,
showing fake, but alluring cleavage, then fitted across the midriff, and
ended by flowing out across the slightly flared hips to end 3 inches above
the knee.
"Honey," said a woman standing there, "If you don't buy that dress, your
crazy!" Sharon merely smiled and said, "I guess you know the answer Diane,
buy it!" Changing back to jeans, Sharon and I headed for home.
"I never guessed that shopping would be so much fun Sharon. I thought I was
more like Dad I guess, but now, wow!!"
"Now you know that reason women like to shop kiddo. Let's relax a bit, and
I'll help you put those clothes away."
We both retired to our rooms and took a short nap. Sharon went to her room,
thinking about her newly feminized brother. She didn't know why, but the
thought of her brother in dresses excited her, and she felt no shame in
helping me realize my dream girl. In fact, she was very truthful when she
told me that she was looking forward to having a sister! Back in my room, I
was dreaming once again of the girl in the mirror, the one with the red
dress of course.
Later, after our short nap, we had a light snack.
"Should I ask if you want to go out again tonight Diane?"
Of course no answer was required! We both went up to get ready for the
evening. I once again took a long hot bubble bath, and shaved every part of
my body I could reach. After I had patted dry as Sharon told me to do, I
dusted myself all over with the sweet smelling powder. I slipped on a pair
of the new high cut panties, red of course.
"HEY SHARON! Come in here and help me with this corset again please."
"Hold on Diane, I'll be there in a sec." Sharon came in shortly, and began
to help with the corset. "Hold your arms up in the air Diane, and take a
deep breath." I did as I was told, and when Sharon was done hooking the
hooks and lacing the laces and I let my arms down I blurted out, "Holy cow
Sharon, I got tits!" It was true. The corset had pushed all of the excess
flesh up and into the cups of the built in bra!
After I had put on the red bra and inserted the new breast forms, I could
see that my own my boobs lay in the cups of the bra, and were terrifically
accented by the small falsies. They looked soft and exciting. "Sit down at
the vanity while I work on your eyebrows." Sharon worked thinning them even
more than she did the first time. When she was done, I had a high feminine
arch to my eyebrows.
"Now you finish your make up Diane, and I'll finish dressing and them come
and help you zip up."
I sat down and began my make up with a light foundation that perfectly
matched my skin tone, then I picked a dusty rose eye shadow as the primary
color, accented with a shimmering copper highlight. I drew the black
eyeliner on my eyelids with a skill that came from a newly found desire,
not experience. The black mascara lengthened my lashes and added some of
the fullness to them that I lacked. A coral blusher for highlight on my
cheekbones completed my makeup until I finished dressing.
"Sharon! Are you free yet?"
"Coming, almost ready."
When Sharon stepped into the room, then she gaped at me, her little
"brother". I guess I was a stunner! Even without the dress! She grabbed the
dress and helped me slip it on, then zipped it up. The corset had reduced
my waistline a great deal and the dress fit like it was a second skin!
Sharon had me sit down at the vanity, then she brushed my bangs out and
curled them a little with a curling iron. She used the rollers to give me
the curly hairdo I had the night before.
"Sit here and watch television or something Diane, I have to do my own
hair, and when I'm done I'll come brush yours out."
About 30 minutes later Sharon came in and began to take the rollers out and
brush my hair out. My hair was puffed, teased, and set into a shorter bob
that was curly and quite saucy.
"Now some lip liner and lipstick Diane. You saw me do it yesterday, you try
it."
I took the liner brush and traced my lips into a petulant bow and then
filled in with a bright red lipstick. Sharon squirted me with some of her
perfume.
"Slip on your red shoes, the pair that match one of my purses." In seconds,
I was completely dressed and ready for the evening.
Sharon was dressed in a fashion similar to me. She wore a bright green
dress that just made it to the middle of her thigh, and was also held up by
two thin straps like mine. Black patent leather shoes and purse completed
her outfit.
"Lets go girl! I can hardly wait to see those guys go gaga when you walk
in."
Sharon and I got the car, and headed for town. We decided to go to a new
place in town called Tuxes. It catered to the college crowd, and was a bit
more upscale than Diamonds was. We walked in and the waiter found us a
table on the lower mezzanine just where we could see, and better yet, be
seen. It wasn't long before we once again had several guys at their table
asking us to dance. Sharon prodded me a little, and a handsome young
college student named Larry Stiles quickly escorted me to the dance floor.
We danced a few faster dances, and Sharon caught my eye and motioned that
she could clearly see my bright red panties when my skirt flared out, so I
made an effort to be more careful. A slow dance came on and he held me
close and tight. I fought against it for a moment, then gave in to the
overwhelmingly feminine feelings that overcame me. After the dance, Larry
took me to the outdoor balcony where he suddenly scooped me into his arms
and kissed me! I started to struggle, but soon found myself giving in to
his very masculine demands. He and I stayed out there for a while, and then
went back to my table.
"Will you gentlemen excuse us. Be back in a minute." Sharon took the lead
and I followed her to the ladies room. "You better fix your lipstick Diane,
kind of smeary there!" As I redid my lipstick, Sharon continued, "Bill
wants to go for a ride later on. Down by the beach I think. If we decide to
go you'll have to be very careful that Larry doesn't find something that
girls don't have! Got it? If I could see those red panties of yours, so
could everyone else, and red is almost as good as black in turning guys
on!"
"Oooh Yah, I got it! But Larry is kind of cute isn't he? I didn't really
intend to kiss him Sharon, it just happened!"
"I understand Diane, I really do, but be careful later on, okay?" We left
and went back to the table, to the anxiously waiting guys.
As Sharon had predicted, the guys drove down to the beach, where, as
couples, we each went our separate ways. Larry led me to a secluded part of
the beach, stopping under a big tree. Being new at this "girl" stuff, I
almost got myself into trouble a few times, but I managed to keep Larry's
hands away from the one area that would give me away. Larry did manage to
feel my "breasts", once, through my dress, but I quickly discouraged him,
and I prevented any further action in that area. After a while we just
talked, and I found out that Larry was from Gaylord, the same place my Aunt
Helen lived! I had told him that Helen was my Mother since she was
supposedly from out of town, and knew I had made a mistake and had put
myself in a pickle, but didn't know what to do, so I tried to ignore it.
After a while, Sharon, with Bill in tow, came by and took me away from
Larry's clutches. The guys took us home, and as a group we walked to the
front porch.
"We had a real fun time guys, maybe we can do it again real soon.
Goodnight." I gave Larry a peck on the cheek and went in the house.
"Boy! You sure knocked'em dead tonight Diane! I never in my whole life
would have dreamed that you liked to wear women's clothes, or that you
could look so good in them either! You took to those clothes like you have
been wearing them all your life. And the guys! You sure that this is the
first time that you've ever been dressed as a girl?"
"I swear to you Sharon, yesterday was the first time in my life I ever wore
women's clothes. And besides, you were the one to suggest that we go with
them to the beach, what could I do but play out my role as a girl!"
"Okay, Okay. I kind of wanted to see how you would react is all. Don't get
your tits in an uproar. We'll talk again tomorrow morning, I'll see you
then, good night Diane."
The next morning I found myself the first one up, it was around 10am, so I
started some coffee. Sharon came down about half an hour later. When we
looked at each other, we both began to laugh and giggle.
"Diane, I really had a wonderful time last night. You really had Larry
going! You know of course that he really likes you, and I guess I need to
know if you want to continue dressing as a girl?"
"I don't know Sharon, I found out that I definitely like it that's for
sure, but Dad wouldn't understand, and that's positively a sure thing!"
"I know that silly, but I want to know if you want to spend the week as
Diane, full time, every day. We can have a lot of fun together, and I'll
help you every step of the way." The pleading tone in her voice told me
that she did not want to give up her "new" sister just yet, and neither, I
realized, did I.
"Sure! Sounds like fun." Since the day was Sunday, we lounged around and
then we spent some time in Sharon's room as she let me try on different
skirts, blouses and dresses trying to figure out my "look". It was a
pleasant day for the two of us, as we became a lot closer.
On Monday we both got dressed in shorts and blouses and proceeded to clean
the house from top to bottom. By late after noon everything glowed with
polish and the house smelled of fresh carpets and Lilac air freshener.
Sharon said, "I'm ready for a long bath and a good dinner Diane, how about
you?"
"Me too! You go first, then I'll take a bath while you get dressed."
It wasn't long before the two of us smelled of bath salts and body talc.
"I'm beat Sharon! Let's just relax, watch television and mellow out
tonight."
"I was hoping that you'd say that. These flannels feel real good right
now!" Sharon and I sat around all evening in our nightgowns and went to bed
rather early.
The next morning I was up and dressed in a skirt and sweater, making
breakfast, when Sharon finally got up.
"Hi Diane. If you don't have any plans for today, lets see if we can fit
you into one of my swimsuits and go to the beach. Okay?"
"That's pretty risky Sharon. I don't have any shape at all unless I pad
almost all over, and all of it floats! I get a very ugly picture here
Sharon."
"Sure that is all true, buy why not try it anyway?" I knew it was just
about the worse place for a boy dressed as a girl to go, but then, if I
could do it there I could do it anywhere.
"Okay, I'll try it, but I go only if we both agree I look okay, deal?"
"Deal."
After breakfast we went to Sharon's room where she pulled out several of
her old swimsuits for me to try on. Sharon held out a green spandex type
suit, took one look and said "nope!" The next one was a dark blue one with
several yellow stripes running on an angle, with a small skirt attached.
"Try this one on Diane, it looks like it'll fit just fine." I took the suit
and headed for my room, and after quickly stripping down to my panties, I
slipped the suit on.
"You can come in now Sharon." Sharon came in and gave me a very critical
once over.
"Well, the suit fits pretty good, but it looks like you'll need to wear the
cincher under the suit, and it'll fit even better with these," she handed
me the new breast forms we had bought. "Slip them into the suit and let me
see how you look." I did as instructed, and the swimsuit looked much
better. "Pretty good girl! But you'll have to shave your legs a little
higher before we go to the beach though, see you in half an hour."
She left me standing there in that suit wondering if this was the right
thing to do. Yet as I looked in the mirror, I knew I wanted to at least try
it, so I stripped again and went in to shave my face and trim what the suit
would reveal. I wore the suit under some shorts and a top, my makeup thin
foundation and some eyeliner with lipstick.
In less than an hour we were on our way to the beach, with me sitting
there having very definite butterflies in my stomach.
"I'm really worried about this Sharon, almost all of the kids will be at
the beach today, and when they see you, they'll recognize me for sure!"
"Settle down Diane. Your my cousin from Gaylord remember? That'll explain
the family resemblance, and besides, nobody will be expecting you,
especially dressed this way. So just settle down and follow my lead. I
won't let anyone bother you, so you just enjoy the day."
I seemed to calm down, so Sharon let it go. When we reached the beach we
walked to a semi secluded spot and settled down onto our blankets. The
afternoon sun was warm, and before long we decided to head to the water
where I found what it's like to swim in a suit with a skirt. Per Sharon's
instructions I did not put my head under water
When we returned to our blankets, we found Larry and Bill waiting for us!
"Hi Diane. Nice to see you again, do you mind if we join you?"
Sharon and I looked at each other, then told them they could join us. We
spent a very enjoyable afternoon with the guys, and when it was time to
leave, Bill asked Sharon if she and I wanted to go to dinner that night
with them. Once again Sharon and I traded looks, then told them to come by
at 7pm that night, and we were soon on our way home.
"I'm not to sure about all of this dating stuff Sharon, pretty soon Larry's
going to want more than a kiss on the cheek. I like the dressing and all,
but I'm getting concerned all the same."
"I understand Diane. I really do. After tonight, no more dating for you!"
Sharon drove us home as I contemplated the past few days and a very
uncertain future. We both took quick showers, and began to dress. It seemed
like fate that we both chose shirtwaist dresses and simple flats to wear. I
was in bright green and Sharon in a muted blue. Sharon once again helped me
with my hair, and just as we finished dressing the doorbell rang. The
dinner was in a quiet restaurant, and the four of us enjoyed the Italian
dinner. But at the end of the evening when the guys took us home, I told
Larry that I was going back to Gaylord, and ran in the house.
We both retired to our rooms and went to bed. The next morning it was Duane
that emerged from my room.
"Hi Sharon. I decided to be myself today. I really enjoyed being Diane, but
I'm beginning to wonder if I could lose myself...my male self that is, and
I'm not even sure if I want to be my male self anymore! I...I"
For the first time since I was 10, I cried in front of my sister. Sharon
reached out and took me into her arms, held me and spoke soothing words to
me.
"I understand Duane. I'm well aware of the stress that this has put you
under. I saw it in your eyes yesterday. But you have found a part of you
that you seem to have a need to express, a feminine side, one that you
don't think your friends would understand. I'm a girl for goodness sake!
Your own sister and I don't understand this attraction for girls clothes
you have. But I'll always be here for you, to help you if you need it, and
to love you because you deserve it."
By the end of her little speech, we were both in tears. Just then the
doorbell rang and Sharon answered it. There was a short pause before I
heard her screaming. DUANE! DUANE! I ran to the front room to find Sharon
standing there with a state trooper.
"I'm sorry sir, but there has been an accident. A very serious accident.
Could you both come down to the station with me?"
The trooper was very polite, but I could see that he was quite serious in
his request, and I just knew that my parents had been killed or seriously
hurt.
"Sure. Just give us a moment." I took Sharon in my arms and held her tight.
"You know that we have to go with him Sharon. I'll drive. I took her car
keys and we left, following the trooper. The news was bad. Both of our
parents had been killed by a drunk driver. The drunk of course, was not
hurt in the least. And then we found out that this was not the first time
the guy who had killed our parents had hurt someone while driving drunk.
Alone now, we went home to cry and mourn our loss even as we wondered what
would happen next. Sharon was legally an adult, but I wasn't. What would
happen to us? Unable to be apart, we held each other until we finally fell
asleep. Our Aunt Helen came down the next day with the bodies, and helped
us prepare for the funerals. It was several weeks before we had settled all
of our parent's affairs and with the insurance company. Then all of my
escapades came to roost.
"You know, I've had some very strange phone calls in the last few weeks. It
seems that I now have a daughter. A daughter named Diane." Helen turned to
Sharon, "It seems she stayed with you for a few weeks over term break.
Since I have no children let alone a daughter, I want to know who is, or
was," she turned and looked directly at me, "Diane?"
Sharon and I quickly looked at each other, but before we could speak, Aunt
Helen spoke again. "It was you wasn't it Duane? You are the mystery girl
Diane." I felt my mouth drop open, confirming her guess. "I got a call from
a Mrs. Stiles, a member of my church, who happens to have a grandson named
Larry. She told me that he called and raved on and on about a girl he had
met, and she was from Gaylord! This girl said her Mother was Helen Guzaki.
Now really kids! How many Guzaki's do you think there are in Gaylord? Now,
I want one of you to tell me the truth." When Sharon sneaked a look at me,
it only confirmed her suspicions, and knew at once. "Tell me the truth, it
was you wasn't it Duane."
I stood there, my head downcast, but finally, looked up and said "yes
Ma'am." In a very soft tone of voice, Helen asked us to explain. Sharon
and I began the tale, and when we were finished, she merely sat there.
"You are both out of school at the end of this term, Duane at least for the
summer, and you both now have more than enough money to go to school
anywhere that you want, but...but, I'd like Sharon and DIANE to come and
spend the summer with me before the start of the new school year."
She looked right at me when she spoke, but it was Sharon that spoke first.
"That's great! We've had a lot of fun in the last few days!" Looking right
at me, Sharon said to me, "You know you want to! Say you'll be Diane for
the summer!"
Of course, I really wanted to do it, but I was afraid to say so, at least
right then. "I'll think about it." But Sharon saw the look in my eyes and
knew I would be Diane again.
It seemed that I had found myself in one of those predicaments that come
from leaping without looking!
"Since you have decided to get in touch with your feminine side, I think
that we, Sharon and I, should help you."
Then, Helen began to outline what she thought they should do to help me
realize my feminine self.
"Since you rashly told someone that you were my daughter, I think that you
should become my daughter! So, from now on, you'll dress and behave as
Diane. I'll help you with poise, mannerisms, walk and so on. When we leave
for Gaylord, you'll have nothing but Diane's clothes with you, and that's
how you'll dress, for at least the summer."
I was happy, and yet scared about what was in store for me.
The rest of the school year went by quickly, but Sharon was the first to
notice that I had not cut my hair once since the beginning of the term. She
teased me about it once in a while, but she and Helen never pushed me to
dress as Diane. Up to now, Helen had not yet seen me as Diane, so on the
very last day of school, when nobody was home, I made my decision right
then. Since I was home alone, I went to upstairs and took a very long bath,
shaved very carefully, and once again got dressed as Diane.
I took time picking out my clothes. Blue panties, a lace trimmed white
underwire bra, some nude pantyhose, the cincher and panty girdle. I chose
the light blue shirtwaist dress, white heels and a necklace of white beads
with a white bracelet. It was all laid out on the bed before I started
dressing. I slipped on the panties, and once again felt the thrill of
desire course through me. I quickly continued dressing, and when I was
ready I went to the vanity and began my makeup. Even though I had not put
on makeup more than six times in my life, I did an even better job than
Sharon did on me! I simply brushed out my now longer hair, fluffed it up
and used a curling iron in a few selected places. A dab of perfume, the
jewelry, and I was done. The shoes slipped on my feet easily, and I found
myself heading for the stairs without a thought.
Helen had come home from the grocery store, and when she heard the steps on
the stairway she turned around.
"Oh my god! You're Diane? Is this my newest daughter?"
"Yes ma'am. I'm Diane, and, I intend to stay this way for as long as you'll
let me. Since I discovered Diane, I've felt that this was the real me. I
also intend to be the best daughter that you've ever had!"
"Duane, I mean Diane, of course you'll be the best daughter I ever had. And
you can stay Diane for as long as you want. With one provision. You must
always do your best. No clownish looking dressing, no part way dressing,
and my daughters, both of them, will be ladies, and I mean well groomed,
well dressed, well mannered and polite. I'll help you whenever you need it,
but you have to agree with my rules. Can you agree Diane?" I rushed into
her arms, the tears I cried were the tears of joy and acceptance.
"Now then." Helen began, "I want to see your wardrobe."
"As far as my wardrobe goes, it's mostly Sharon's, but I have a few things
of my own."
When we were upstairs, we heard the door shut. "I'll show you what I have."
I led the way to my room, and after I had shown Helen all of the
undergarments, I got out the red "date bait" dress. Just then Sharon walked
into the room.
"Wow! That's some dress Diane!" She turned to Sharon and asked her, "How'd
she look in it Sharon?"
"She knocked'em dead! In fact I felt like a wallflower next to her!"
I stood there while Sharon raved on about how good I looked. I was torn
between being proud of my looks, and the obvious strangeness of being a boy
that liked to wear dresses, and standing there and admitting it.
"Well Diane, after seeing what you have, it seems that we have some
shopping to do. You have enough lingerie for now, but you are going to need
some more summer clothes, and we might as well start planning for next
years school term." Helen spoke as if it that was the plan all along! "Lets
go girls. We need to go shopping!"
Helen led the way, followed by Sharon and I. We stopped at a strip mall and
the three of us went into the beauty shop.
"Hi. Can you do three of us?"
"Yes Ma'am. It'll be a few minutes, have a seat."
Shortly the operator came out. "Hi. I'm Wendy, who's first?"
Of course, both Helen and Sharon pointed at me. "See what you can do for
her will you? Maybe a perm, and lighten her hair to true blonde. She hasn't
had a good cut and perm in a very long time."
Helen then turned to me. "Just go with her honey, it'll be fine. By the
way, Wendy, while we're here, let's get her nails done. They're so short
right now that maybe some acrylics would be best."
By the time we had left the beauty shop, Helen had spent several hundred
dollars. All three of us now had blonde hair, our nails done, as well as
having makeup that was faultless.
"Now then, lets go outfit you with a wardrobe suitable for a young woman of
class." Helen spoke as she walked out the door, continuing in the car.
"Your undergarments are fine, but you need to have a few more slips,
perhaps another cincher, and I also know of a place where we can get you
some of those special pantybrief's that have the fanny pads built in.
They'll give you better definition in the hip area. The breast forms are
okay for now, but why not just go ahead and have some made for you? They
now have them that glue to the body and are virtually undetectable from the
real thing. " I sat there basking in my newfound beauty and acceptance, and
barely heard what Helen was saying.
At the mall we went to the largest department store there and I picked out
several bras that met with Helen and Sharon's approval, along with some
slips, both full and half, in selected colors. The dress shop was next, and
together we picked out some skirts, and dresses that ranged from very
dressy, to everyday, and some for church. The shoe department was next, and
I ended up with flats in three colors, Heels in four colors, and some
feminine looking sneakers, along with panty hose, socks and purses to match
it all.
Then, as we passed the swimsuit area, I naturally headed for the
department, Helen stopped me, saying, "Why don't we wait until you have
your custom breastforms, then you can buy a swimsuit. It might change your
selection."
By this time we were getting hungry, so we took the bags to the car and
went to dinner. I started to order like I used to, back when I was Duane,
but Helen and Sharon stopped me. "You have to watch the old figure Diane.
You should probably lose some pounds anyway, so salads and fish and chicken
for you!"
After dinner we went to the store that made the breastforms, and I had a
mold made of my chest. The operator, Joyce told me that it would be about a
week before they were done, and she would call. I signed for the work and
then began to try on the padded pantybrief's.
"These are just right for you Diane, They fit perfect, match your skin
tone, and give you a perfect figure!" Joyce was the only one in the room,
so I asked if I could just wear I home.
"Sure, no problem."
"I think I better get two more, okay?"
"Of course." When I walked into the outer room, Helen and Sharon both
gasped at the change the pantybrief made in my figure. It filled out my
hips just right. "
"Lets go home girls. It's been a big day, and I'm pretty sure that Diane is
as whipped as she is excited!" After we got home, and all of the clothes
had been put away, we met in the den. "Diane, I hope you know what this
means for you. I was sure that if I let you decide, you would see how hard
its going to be for you. But you seem perfectly comfortable as Diane. I
thought the perm and hair color would scare you off, but you went to it
like it was the most natural thing in the world. I guess you realize that
with the perm you're now Diane for a minimum of three months. We also have
to overcome the identification problem. Since I know that you know how to
drive, I wonder, if we moved back to Gaylord, could we get you a license
up there in the name of Diane?" Helen got "that" look on her face again.
What do you girls think of moving in with me at my home? Sharon's going to
State which isn't that far away, and Diane can start fresh, as my
daughter."
Helen looked at both of us, and Sharon spoke first, " I guess its fine with
me, I'll be gone most of the year. It'll have to be Diane's decision." They
both looked at the grin on my face and got the answer.
"Okay. Since we all agree that we are moving, lets figure out what we are
going to take and what to sell. We need to call a Realtor, mover, arrange
to shut off all of the utilities, and pack, and we have to wait until
Diane's breastforms come in and she's fitted, so why don't we start
figuring out what to take and so on. Today's the 10th. Why don't we plan on
being out by the first of the month?"
We all busied ourselves packing and preparing for the move. I had to get
used to working with the extended nails, and the breasts. I had gone down
to the shop and been fitted for the new breastforms a few days earlier.
They were a full B cup, moved and felt like the real thing, and even got
warm to the touch. The woman glued them on, and told me they would stay for
a month easily. They were so closely matched to my skin tone that I didn't
need to do any makeup on the seam line where they met my chest. They were
exactly the right size and weight for me, and they conducted body heat so
that anyone that might accidentally touch them would not know the
difference. In other words, except for the real thing, they were as close
to perfect as you could get! The house sold in three days since it was in a
very nice area, and true to our goal, we moved to Gaylord on the first of
the month. Helen's house was right on the lake, and she had three extra
bedrooms, so she gave me my choice. "I'd like the one in the back Helen.
It's got plenty of closet space, and I like the view of the lake."
After I had settled my things in my new room, Helen, Sharon and I headed to
a local cafe for a light lunch. It took us about two weeks before we were
reasonably settled in, Sharon and I had taken to calling Helen Mom. She was
uncomfortable at first, but soon realized that we called her Mom out of our
love for her. Sharon and I went into town to see if we could find something
for me to wear to the beach, and by the time we left the store, I was the
proud owner of a fuller cut bikini!
"Now that we are settled in, I think that we're going to have to get you a
drivers license and a social security number. I have to go back to work,
and I expect both of you to get jobs. I'll go with Diane to get her drivers
license tomorrow, and a SS number. There are plenty of things we have to do
to help Diane become as feminine as possible. You are about 25 pounds
overweight for a girl of your height, so you're on a diet until you lose
the weight."
I glanced down at myself, sitting there in a blue and white checked jumper
over a white blouse and white flats, and knew that I might as well do my
best. There really wasn't any choice. Once I had discovered my true self, I
resigned myself to my fate, and I become relaxed and at ease with myself,
except for the moments fear jumped up and bit me.
"I'll tell you that I'm scared that someone will find me out, then what?
I'll be the laughing stock of the town!"
Helen interrupted me, "Calm down Diane. First of all, you're absolutely
lovely. Nobody in their right mind would think that you are a boy, and
second, I'll be right here for you. I'll teach you all of the tricks that
we girls learn at a very young age. Now be calm, trust me, and before long
you'll be as comfortable as Diane as you ever were as Duane." In my heart I
knew she was right.
The rest of that day was spent cleaning, ironing and putting away clothes.
The next day Helen got us up at 7am and told me to wear a skirt and blouse.
"After breakfast we'll get you a license in the name of Diane, along with a
SS number."
Getting a driver's license turned out to be easy, since one of Helen's best
friends ran the department. After the test I was officially Diane Marie
Guzaki, at least according to the state. Armed with a valid driver's
license, I also got a Social Security number. Helen let me drive home.
Sharon said, "While you were gone I called for our appointments at Newman's
like you asked, and we are scheduled in at 1pm."
"Thanks Sharon.
Now that I was "official", Helen and Sharon began to refer to me in the
feminine all of the time, and all of my male clothes were gone. Sharon and
I went out the next day to try and find summer jobs. We both ended up
working at Newman's department store. I found myself working in the
custom dress shop, while Sharon was in jewelry. We spent most of the day
filling out forms and finding our way around our own departments as well as
the store. The next morning, after we had reported for work, I found myself
quickly getting the hang of things, and within the first week I sold three
very expensive dresses!
"Goodness Diane! I haven't ever sold three dresses like those in one week!"
My boss, Ruth, was very happy with my attitude and ability! "We are having
a charity ball and modeling party at the country club in a five weeks, and
I'd like you to be one of the models." I was stunned, in fact, I was so
stunned I forgot to say no! Ruth took my silence as a yes! "Good! I'll help
you pick out several dresses, and we can get them fitted. Oh honey, you'll
be a smash!
I didn't know until later what being model meant, except that Ruth told me
I would be changing in a room with other girls and women, getting a full
makeover, modeling lingerie as well as clothes, swimsuits, coats and hats.
When I told Helen and Sharon at dinner, Sharon was ecstatic, but Helen had
some reservations about my ability to do it, given the very short time I
had been dressing as a girl. But, Helen said, with careful makeup around
the breast forms and a close shave the night before, I might be all right.
"I'll let you do it only if I can be the one to help you change dresses and
so on. Otherwise it might be to risky for you. After all, you've only just
started wearing women's clothes Diane. I understand Ruth's desire to have
you in the show since you are quite lovely. But, we only have five weeks to
get you into shape."
So began my very intensive dieting, training in poise, mannerisms, walking
and so on. Working at the dress shop, I began to find that I had a natural
flair for helping women pick out just the right outfit. My ability with
color and style grew, and my sales were constantly at the top of the chart.
In the following five weeks I lost 22 pounds, lost two dress sizes, and
actually forgot that I was a male! So fluid were my movements, my graceful
walk and poise were only accented by my manners. But it seemed that all I
did was work, putting in longer hours than the others. In return, I became
"the" person to seek out when the wealthier women in town wanted to buy a
dress.
Over the next few weeks, my weight loss had brought me down to a size 10
dress, and I had become so engrossed in everyday life that I was as natural
as if I had been born that way. Helen had also noticed that young men were
taking notice of me, her newest daughter. And rightly so, since she always
told me that I was, without doubt, a real beauty. I had also been told by
some of my co-workers that several young men had made inquiries about me!
In my delight at being able to express my feminine side, I had forgotten
about the effect pretty young girls make on handsome young men! I had made
friends with a co-worker, a girl my age named Nancy Falston, who told about
all the guys checking me out.
"I'm telling you Diane, you don't know how many guys have asked me about
you, and I hear that you went out with Larry Stiles a few times. His
Grandmother is a regular of mine, and she tells me that he is coming to
stay with her for a few weeks and wants to see you again!"
I was somewhat shocked, but I had the charity fashion show and Ball to get
ready for, and quite frankly didn't give Larry another thought.
The following Monday, Ruth asked me to come to her office.
"Good Morning Diane. I thought that we might select the dresses that you
are going to model in the show. Have you given it any thought?"
"Yes Ma'am. I have several dresses in mind Let me show you."
We left the office and walked to the store room where I pulled out my
selections for Ruth's approval. One was a black cocktail dress of satin,
with spaghetti straps, a sweetheart neckline, fitted bodice, and flaring
skirt that came to just above the knees. The next one was a very chic suit
of camel colored silk, with a skirt and slacks. The jacket was without
lapels, and the skirt was A-line. The third and last dress was a complete
bridal outfit, including a traveling suit! The bridal gown was of white
satin, brocaded with pearls. It also had a sweetheart neckline, but one
that showed substantially more cleavage than the first gown. The sleeves
and back were of tulle lace with pearls attached, and had a matching hat,
and veil. The train was long enough that I would need help if I walked
anywhere in it! The traveling suit was actually a shirtwaist dress, but it
was white with a muted red orchid print and matching jacket.
"I must say that your selections are perfect Diane, and you have chosen
such a wide range! I'm impressed! I'll call the fitter, and we can get any
alterations done before the show."
Ruth left to make the call, and I went to the changing room to change into
the cocktail dress. It took most of the afternoon, but I tried on every
dress I had selected and the fitter made notes and measurements on the
changes she needed to make.
"Your Mother is here to see you Diane." Nancy was carrying a bundle of
clothes as she walked by. Helen was there with Mrs. Stiles, a very handsome
woman indeed.
"Diane, This is Mrs. Stiles, Larry's Grandmother. She and I were out for
lunch and decided to stop in."
"How do you do Mrs. Stiles."
I knew enough to stand there demurely while I was sized up by the woman.
"Your Mother has told me of your participation in the Fashion show, and I
was wondering if you had an escort to the Ball afterward. If not I would
like to suggest that Larry be allowed to escort you. I know the this isn't
quite proper, but he is still in school, and....well, he told me so much
about you. He really likes you and I hope that you like him. Can I tell him
that you have agreed to his escorting you to the Ball?" I wasn't ready for
this! I hadn't yet given any thought about the Ball. In fact, I had
thought that Helen, Sharon and I would attend by ourselves!
"I have accepted Doug Givens as my escort for that night Diane. You and
Larry could come with us if you like." Helen having a date was also a
shock! It only took a moment for me to figure out that Helen was going to
be there and make sure that I didn't get into trouble.
"I'd love to have Larry escort me to the Ball Mrs. Stiles, Thank you."
"I now have a date for the dance after the show Nancy! Its a guy I met
earlier in the summer, it's that guy Larry Stiles I told you about."
Nancy, who had been trying to find a guy for the semi reclusive Diane was
ecstatic! "That's great Di! Looking the way you do, I just know that he's a
hunk! Right?"
I merely smiled and walked away, but inside I was delighted! In the few
minutes we had talked I realized that I had been accepted as girl in every
way, and thought about Larry. He is tall and handsome, and he only knows me
as Diane, so why not?
There were more surprises in store for me when I got home that evening.
Walking into the house I saw Mrs. Stiles, sitting there, in a very regal
manner, drinking tea with Helen, who spoke first, "Come in dear. We were
just discussing you." You are a very lovely girl Diane, But my instincts
told me that something was wrong. You are a boy, right?"
I was stunned to hear the rest of what Mrs. Stiles had to say !
"I...I...I"
"Mrs. Stiles and I have already talked Diane. I had to tell her
everything."
Mrs. Stiles spoke again, "Listen honey, I don't care. You are without a
doubt the best looking girl in the town, and if Larry can't tell the boys
from the girls, well, that's his problem! I just wanted to tell you to your
face that in all the times I've seen you at the store, I've never seen you
act in anything but a ladylike manner and I wouldn't tell your secret to
anyone! In fact I wish my own daughters were as pretty and well spoken as
you are! Don't feel bad about your Mother telling me. I can't explain it,
but I just knew something wasn't right. You might say that I forced the
issue."
I started to cry right there in front of both of them. "Don't cry Diane.
You must be under an awful strain." Mrs. Stiles took me in her arms and
comforted me until the sobbing had slowed down some.
"I can't go back to being Duane! I just can't! I told you someone would
find out! I'm ruined, I'll be the laughing stock of the entire town! I want
to be like all of the other girls!"
I spun and ran to my room and closed the door with a slam. Half an hour
later Helen and Mrs. Stiles cautiously opened the door to my room. It's me
honey, Mom." I looked at them through red rimmed eyes, despair written on
my face like a tabloid headline, stark and open. Mrs. Stiles spoke gently.
"If you want to be a complete woman Diane, all you have to do is ask. I
swing a lot of weight in this town and I'm sure that we can get you
whatever it is that you need. But womanhood is more than clothes and
makeup. It's a state of mind. A woman knows many things that a man does
not. How to cry is only one of them. Your desire to achieve is reflected by
your attention to yourself, and I can tell you that there are many women
who would love to have a daughter such as you. Now, if you like, I'll talk
to some people and see if we can help you in your quest for womanhood."
I simply started crying again. The women left me to cry it out and resolve
those inner conflicts I was facing. I was about to make the biggest
decision of my life. I knew what I wanted, yet I was scared of the
uncertain future. I didn't feel the guilt that most TV's felt, at least
those I had read about. I felt confident and sure of myself most of the
time, a feeling I never had as Duane. I was smaller than most of the other
guys and I was painfully aware that even then I looked like I had a girls
frame. But now that I could express myself as Diane, I was accepted, with
no thought to anything except my ability in the dress shop. I hadn't even
considered boys, and except for the few times I went with Sharon, I never
had the desired to be with boys!
I was too busy perfecting myself by constant effort. By dinnertime I had
made my decision. I walked silently down the stairs.
"Mom?" Helen turned around to see me standing there, I held my head high,
smiling. "I've decided that if Mrs. Stiles can help me become Diane in the
truest, and fullest sense of the word, then I'm ready! I lost Mom and Dad,
Sharon's moving to the college, and I'll be damned if I'll let myself lose
Diane! And you....Mom."
Helen rushed forward to accept hold me, as a daughter, a real daughter,
one that she knew she would be proud of. Holding onto each other we became
as one, of one mind and one heart, Mother and daughter, to overcome what,
right then, was a minor obstacle.
The next morning, when I got up, I found Sharon sitting there at the
kitchen table. As soon as Sharon saw me, she rushed and took me onto her
arms.
"I want you to know that I am very happy for you Diane. I think that I knew
from the first day you dressed up that you would never be happy until you
became a woman. Last night Mom told me all about what happened today. It
might feel like a cruel way to discover something about yourself, but in
the end, it would have come out anyway. I told you before that I care about
you the person, and would love you whatever your decision was. I also told
you that I always wanted a sister, and your being that sister has no
bearing on the way I thought about you and I meant it. I'm so happy for
you!!"
We hugged, and of course the three of us started crying again. It was more
than obvious that I had my entire families support. Buoyed by the
confidence they gave me, I was ready to start the new day.
"Hey you two, we have to get to work!"
The day seemed to fly by and it wasn't until I got home that I remembered
that we only had one week until the fashion show and Ball.
"Mom! I'm going to ask Ruth if I can wear the little black dress I'm
modeling to the dance."
Helen had made arrangements with my boss Ruth so that she could be the one
to help me during the changes I would have to make during the fashion show.
As it happens, I was the first one down the runway, wearing the tailored
camel suit, first wearing the skirt, then with the pants shortly after. The
rest of the girls walked the runway and the audience oooed and ahhhed in
all of the right places. My second trip on the boardwalk was in the black
dress that I had selected to wear to the Ball. But the very last dress in
the show was the bridal outfit, with me modeling it of course!
I brought the house to its feet. The gown was, without a doubt, the stopper
of the show. My demure walk, firm posture and beauty showed both the dress
and myself to perfection. The coordinator had lighted the runway to accent
the dress, and audience went silent during my walk down the boards. When I
reached the end of the runway and stood there, the audience broke into
applause. The rest of the girls modeling came out onto the runway to the
continuing applause of the audience, and after a moment they stepped back
and left me in the spotlight alone, wearing the bridal dress. I got a
standing ovation from the crowd and then the rest of the models joined
them. I admit it, I was in seventh heaven! It was almost every girls dream,
and yet I was the one standing there, and I had only been a girl for a few
months!
The changing out of the bridal gown was quickly done as Mother was there to
help me. I changed into some jeans and a pullover blouse, slipped on my
flats and grabbed the black dress on the way out with mom right behind me.
Ruth stopped us on the way out of the arena.
"Diane! You were such a hit! I can't tell you how many people wanted to
congratulate you. There aren't enough words to tell you what a fine job you
did. As a reward for all of your efforts, you can have the black dress to
keep, besides, nobody else could wear as well as you do. See you at the
Ball tomorrow night."
Mom and I looked at each other and began to laugh! I had made the greatest
hit of my life, and I was now being accepted, truly accepted as for myself,
and not a freak like I feared.
I spent the whole day Saturday primping and getting ready for the big Ball.
Sharon, Mom and I went to the beauty shop and got our hair and nails done
again. By this time my hair had grown quite long, so I had it done in a
very stylish chignon, with rhinestone clips and trailing tendrils that
framed my face. When I left the shop it was easy to see that I was simply
on cloud nine.
"Larry and Doug will be here at 6pm Diane. Let's get you dressed. I went to
my room, and started dressing, starting with white satin panties, lace
trimmed, French cut. I slipped them on and then called for mom to come into
the room.
"I'll need some help with this corset Mom. Can you give me a hand?" She
came in and started lacing up the corset. When she was done, I had a 36-
24-36 figure. My breastforms lay in the built in cups, undetectable from
the real thing. I quickly slipped on the hosiery and clipped them to the
garter straps, and then I slipped on my flats.
I started looking for the dress, and when it was not to be found in my room
I slipped on a robe and went downstairs.
"Mom, I can't find my dress. Do you know where it is?" Sharon walked into
the room carrying what was obviously a dress, covered in plastic.
"I think you'll like this on better Di. Come on, I'll help you try it on."
Sharon took my hand and led the way back to my room. I had no idea what was
going on, but Sharon seemed to know, so I followed her. Sharon hung the
dress on a door hanger and as she took the plastic off, she could hear me
gasping in the background.
"What's going on here?" Sharon merely smiled at me.
"It's your gift from Mom and me! Try it on, I can hardly wait!"
Mom walked in just as I had slipped off my robe. Sharon took the dress from
its hanger and she and mom held it out so that I could get it over my head.
Once it was on and zipped up, I went to the mirror in my room to see it. It
was a rose colored floor length gown of satin. In fact, it looked just like
the wedding gown I modeled the day before! Minus the hat, veil, and long
train of course.
Mom also presented me with a pair of matching shoes and purse. After a
frantic hour, while we all finished dressing, Sharon's date, Tom Bigelow
arrived to pick her up. Mom and I had to wait about 20 minutes before Doug
and Larry showed up. When Larry saw me, he literally gasped.
"You look even prettier than the last time I saw you Diane!" Mom made the
introductions and after the presentation of corsages, the guys escorted us
to the car, which for the occasion was a white, rented limousine.
"Larry and I decided that we couldn't take the best looking women in town
to the dance in anything less than a limousine. Our white charger so to
speak." Doug was grinning while he said it, but the "Look" on Larry's face
said it all. He was, without a doubt, head over heels in love with me! he
looked like a moonstruck kid in a candy store for the first time.
Our entrance to the Ball was done in the grandest fashion. A gentleman
acting as a sort of maitre' de took our invitations and announced them.
"Ladies and Gentlemen. Helen and Diane Guzaki, escorted by Larry Stiles and
Doug Givens."
Larry took my arm and we walked together down the promenade, and I was
beaming in delight at having him as my date. Both the women, some in envy,
others in admiration, and the men in desire and awe, watched Larry and Doug
escort us to reception line. Without prompting, I instinctively knew the
proper etiquette, and both curtsied and bowed when required. Larry
effortlessly guided me to our table.
Sitting at the table was Helen, Doug, Sharon, Tom, Larry, Mrs.Stiles, her
escort, Dr. John Wallis, and myself. Mrs. Stiles made the introductions. An
announcement from the stage drew everyone's attention.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, The dance will begin, with Miss Diane Guzaki and
Larry Stiles."
Larry and I were shocked to say the least, but Mrs. Stiles told them she
had arranged it.
"I don't want any complaints from you two. You're the best looking couple
here and you know it, so go start the dance."
Larry took my hand and led me to the dance floor. The music started, a
waltz by Dmitri Shostakovich - The Second Waltz. Larry took me into his
arms, and swept me away with the lilting tempo of the music. My ability in
heels were as good as any woman's, but my skill at waltzing wasn't. It
didn't seem to matter however as Larry masterfully led us across the floor
in a demonstration of beautiful dancing and graceful footwork. So
effortlessly did he make it look that nobody rose to join us on the dance
floor. It was almost the end of that tune before anyone joined us in fact.
Larry and I danced several more waltzes before returning to our table and
the applause of those sitting there.
"You two were so wonderful out there! I just knew I was right in choosing
you to start the dance."
Mrs. Stiles was grinning from ear to ear. Apparently she had more than a
major part in the Ball, way more than she had let on. I knew I was all
smiles, and felt that I was simply radiating the beauty that only youth
have. Slightly winded, I sat there sipping on an iced tea, while the events
and the music swirled around us. Larry of course wanted to drag me out of
there and be alone with me, but with his Grandmother sitting there, common
sense prevailed. Mom was also in her glory, and as the Mother of Diane,
basked in the reflected light of her newest daughter. The food was served a
little later, and what a surprise I got when Mrs. Stiles reached into her
purse and pulled out a satin Napkin that matched my dress exactly!
"It would be a real shame if you got anything on that dress Diane, so I had
this made for you." She passed it across the table, and Larry jumped to his
feet to assist me fastening it around my neck.
The night seemed to fly by and to soon it was over. I felt like the
princess I had been treated like all evening. Something like Cinderella.
After the goodnights, we were taken home. Larry swept me into his arms and
kissed me with all of the passion he had, and I, caught up in the events of
the evening let him. Since I had decided that I would complete whatever was
needed to become the woman of my dreams, kissing Larry was, quite all
right!
"Can we go out tomorrow night Diane?" The pleading in his voice told me
that he was really in love.
"Come over at 6pm, Larry, but lets go casual, okay?"
"Sure Di, see you then."
Mom, Sharon, and I slept in until late morning, Sharon was the first one up
as usual and she started coffee and began to make a breakfast of sliced
melon and toast. Mom and I came down later, drawn by the aroma of the
coffee and toast.
"Seems like we have a new Princess in the family Sharon. Di really wowed
the crowd last night. By the way Di, where did you learn to dance like
that?"
"I never knew I could! Larry just swept me along, and wherever he went, I
went!"
"Well, that crowd at the Ball is the cream of the high society here in
Gaylord, and I'll bet I had at least 25 people ask me why I've kept you
under wraps for so long. I'd say that you have been accepted! By the way,
you have an appointment with Dr. Wallis Monday morning at 10, don't be late
honey, it's very important."
Mom would not expand on her reasons for the appointment, but I kind of
guessed anyway. I was about to begin my transformation into the real woman
everyone thought she was.
Larry came by promptly at 6 and we went out to enjoy a quiet dinner. After
the previous evenings festivities, we were both still a little tired, but
Larry seemed to be on edge.
"Diane, I want to ask you something. I know its pretty quick, but...but I
want you to marry me!"
"I can't get married Larry. I'm only just turning 17, and I have to finish
high school, but you're very sweet for asking me. Maybe, if I were older,
maybe I'd say yes. But right now I can't."
"Well, if you won't marry me, will you wear my class ring?" He held it in
my hand, the center stone of blue glistening in the shaded lamps of the
restaurant.
"I'd love to Larry." I took the ring from my hand and slipped it on my
finger. It almost fell off, so I put it in my purse until I could wind the
string around the ring to make it small enough to wear. With Larry just
holding my hand, it made me painfully aware of my status as a person not
enough male, and certainly not enough female. What I really wanted to do
right then was one thing, but what I could do was another altogether.
The next day at 10 on the dot, I was in Dr. Wallis' office.
"Now then Diane, I understand that you have a problem that needs some help.
Want to tell me about it?" I told him about my transition from Duane to
Diane, and my fervent desire to be complete. When I was done he looked at
me and then asked me to disrobe for a physical exam. He poked, prodded, and
took samples of all of my fluids, took my weight, height and other
statistics he would need. When I was again dressed, we met in his office
and talked it over.
"If Samantha, Mrs. Stiles, had not told me about you, I never would have
guessed, but I believe that you are old enough to begin the treatments. But
first let me tell you of all the changes that will occur." He outlined the
changes I would undergo, both good and bad. The weight gain, the moodiness,
the widening of the hips and breast tissue growth. "This is usually a two
year program Diane, but because you are emotionally ready now, I see no
reason that we cannot complete your transformation by your 18th birthday.
Let's start with this shot."
He gave me a hormone shot, and then filled out a prescription for me, 5Mg a
day. "Take the purple ones for 25 days in a row, then take the white ones
for 5 days. I want to see you once a week, and watch your diet or you'll
gain weight taking these hormones."
I was all smiles as I left the doctors office. Finally, I was on the road
to what I wanted... complete womanhood. Even though the Doctor had told me
I could not have children, I would be complete in every other respect.
Sharon and I spent all day Sunday cleaning the house, and packing for
Sharon's move to the college. On Monday I had to go back to work, so Mom
would be taking Sharon to the college, but since Sharon couldn't take her
car, she gave it to me. The tearful hugs lasted as long as possible the
next morning, then I took the car to work. When I got to the dress shop, I
got a standing ovation from the sales staff there.
"Diane honey, Mr. Newman wants to see you right away, but first we want to
say how much you mean to us here in fashion sales." Ruth hugged me, her
self appointed prot?g?, and sent me on my way to see Mr. Newman.
His secretary let me into the inner office.
"Come in Diane! I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your modeling
debut. So far this morning we have received over 50 calls for you. Seems
that you have a fan club, and every one of them wants to buy a dress from
you! I can't have my star salesperson working for the beginner's
commission, so I'm putting you on salary, and with a raise in your
commission rate. You'll be assistant Department manager from here on.
Congratulations Diane." He reached out and took my hand in his. "If you
continue selling at this rate Diane, I'll have to make you Department
manager soon." With that he escorted me to the outer office. "Again,
congratulations Diane. You've earned this job, and we're all very proud of
you."
I was still in shock when I walked back to my department. Ruth rushed up to
me, and taking me gently by the elbow, took me to my new office.
"This is all yours now Diane. I called the painters and they are coming up
to put your name on the door this afternoon. In the meantime, I have three
people waiting to see you."
Mrs. Stiles, in the company of two of her friends were waiting for me when
I walked into the showroom.
"How nice to see you again Mrs. Stiles. How can I help you today?"
"I've told Dolores and Margret about your skills, and they decided to let
you help them in their selections. This is Mrs. Schemner, Dolores, and this
is my oldest friend, Mrs. Swanson."
"I'd be delighted to assist you ladies."
My entire day was like that. Customers coming in, two and three at a time.
By the time I was ready to go home, I had sold almost 20 very expensive
dresses!
"Mom, I'm whipped! First, I was promoted to assistant Manager of the
department, with a salary and a raise in my commissions, and then the
people started coming in. Geez, my feet are killing me. I think I'll just
sit here and turn into a vegetable!"
"Why that's great honey! I'm so proud of you! Why don't I make some dinner,
then you can take a bath and relax for the rest of the night." Mom made
dinner, one of my favorites. Chicken, a big salad with all the trimmings,
Jell-O, and coffee. For dessert mom had a low calorie white cake! It was
almost 7pm before I appeared in the den.
I had had very little time to myself now, so when Larry called and asked me
to go the beach on Sunday afternoon, I was more than willing. Besides, the
only place I had worn my new bikini was in the back yard. Larry and I spent
a very relaxing day at the beach. Larry wanted to talk about the future,
his plans to go into the military academy and his hopes for the two of us.
I sat and listened to him and became very appreciative of his ability to
focus on a goal and follow through. After lunch, and several hours laying
on the blanket, Larry and I both got the a good tan, Mine is a typical
bikini tan. It was almost 7pm by the time I got home, and after a quick
kiss, I went to my room. There was a soft knock on the door.
"Hi. Can I come in?"
"Sure Mom. Come in."
Mom sat on the bed and looked me. "Diane, we have to think about your
future. What do you plan to do after school?"
"I haven't given it much thought, but my job at Newman's is going great
guns, so I thought I might stay there."
"School is going to start in a month or so, and we have to get you
registered. I wrote to your school and asked that your transcripts be sent
here. We might have to get a lawyer to help us with your transition from
Duane to Diane, but after we do that, I was wondering if you ever
considered working co-op? If you can get into that program, then you can
continue at Newman's and still go to school, and if you took some business
classes, then, well who knows. Newman's is a big store. You might have a
future there." I hadn't considered the problems of the school records, but
I had committed to a course that would take me into full womanhood, and I
was determined that I going to finish the course.
"Whatever you think is best. Co-op sounds great. If Mr. Newman lets me,
I'll be able to work part time at the store."
The next week Mom spent some time with the lawyer trying to find out what
was needed for me to actually become Diane.
"Its really quite simple Helen. First I'll have her name changed legally,
then we can petition the courts to have her school records completely
amended, from grade school all the way through current. I'll start right
away since we only have a month."
"Thanks Stan. I knew I could count on you." By the time mom got home the
evening, I had finished making dinner, had the table set, and was ready for
a date with Larry. "I talked to Stan, my lawyer and he'll take care of
everything. By the time he's done Duane will have never existed."
"That's great! Now if I can get Mr. Newman to go along with the plan, then
I'll be set! Let's eat dinner before it gets cold, we can talk over
dinner."
Mom and I had become very close over the past few months, and like all
Mothers everywhere, she was concerned about my welfare, and since I was
undergoing some major changes in my body, she was even more concerned than
average.
"What did the Doctor say when you saw him today, everything okay?"
"After dinner I'll show you." When we had cleaned the table and washed the
dishes, Mom and I went to my room, and after taking my clothes off down to
my panties, I showed her the results of two months of hormone treatments.
I had developed a swelling that would very soon become fully formed breasts
as well as a definitely larger hip. "Well! Look at that! My girls growing
up! What else did he tell you?" That I weigh 118 pounds, I'm 5'7" tall, my
blood pressure is up some, but not bad. He said its from the hormones, and
that within another two months I won't need any padding...anywhere!" A grin
split my face, my easy laugh causing mom smile as well.
The rest of the summer time went by fast, Larry was leaving for the academy
soon, and I was beginning to resent the fact that I could not send him back
to school in a more memorable fashion. But I knew that by the time the year
was out I would be a complete woman, then Larry and I could begin a life
together when he got out of the service. In the meantime I continued to
work, and prepare for the school year. Working at Newman's gave me an
employee discount, and I had been buying clothes, shoes, and so on for the
upcoming school year. The lawyer had, true to his word replaced Duane with
Diane in all of my records. I had a new birth certificate that listed Helen
as my Mother, and when he had changed my name, he gave me Helen's last name
as well. When at last school started, I was ready.
Most of the kids knew me, or at least knew of me from all of the publicity
surrounding my modeling debut. They also found out quickly that I was
attached to Larry Stiles. School was, as usual, hectic for the first few
weeks. I was accepted into the co-op program on the strength of a
recommendation from Ruth and Mr. Newman. Therefore, I only had a three hour
day at the school. By October, I had no need for the breast forms, since I
had developed a very nice 36 A+ figure of my own.
The Doctor told me that by the end of the first term I would be a full 36B
cup, and my hips would be fully developed as well. Because of the short day
at school, I began dressing for work, rather than school, in suits and
tailored clothes. I found that I liked the look better and I was received
better by the women that came to see me at the store.
I was taking a shower, getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner, and when I
walked out of the bathroom, I was surprised to see Sharon sitting on the
bed waiting for me.
"Hi Sis! Thought I'd surprise you!" After some hugging, Sharon held me at
arms length and looked me over carefully. "I'm impressed Diane. I really
am. No trace of beard, and you have obviously grown in some strategic
places! Those aren't the glue on boobs are they?" I smiled, shook my head
no, and dropped the towel to my waist. "Oh my God Diane! You have grown! "
I covered myself up while Sharon continued.
"I don't see any trace of the beard anymore either! Girl, you're really
looking good!" We hugged again, then I started getting dressed for dinner.
I had selected a tailored mint green suit with a matching skirt, an antique
white silk blouse with lace trim. I wore light green and white accessories
with shoes that accented the outfit. My hair was now a luxuriant, shoulder
length auburn colored mane, styled to frame my face and flow in waves down
my back. Sharon went to her room and as she started to change, she saw a
suit bag on the door. Opening it, she found an exact twin of the suit I was
wearing! Shoes and accessories were also there as well.
I heard her squeal in delight, then later, when we were ready, we came down
the stairs together. Mom thought she as seeing double for a minute! Her
daughters were everything she ever expected. Beautiful, smart, well
dressed, polite, and they loved her. A Mother could ask for no more.
At the table with Mom were Dr. Wallis and his wife Jean, Stan Markson, our
lawyer and his wife Marie, Mrs. Stiles, and Larry. I saw Larry and rushed
to greet him, but at the last minute remembered that people where watching
us, so I kissed him on the cheek. Then Sharon and I sat down.
Mom, and I had spent the morning making the dinner, and it was a feast.
Dinner conversation centered on Sharon's plans after she graduated but the
true center of the questions were on mine and Larry plans.
"I have a four year obligation after I graduate from the academy and start
my four year obligation, but I was hoping that Diane would marry me before
I start that obligation." Smiling, he handed me an engagement ring.
Everyone looked at me, waiting for a response. I on the other hand, was
stunned! I had no indication that he would do something like this.
"Of course I accept!" I jumped up in glee and wrapped my arms around his
neck and kissed him.
The rest of them started clapping, and there was much hugging and well
wishing going on. After dinner, we women cleared the table and then met the
men in the family room. Larry and I were arm in arm, but he was looking
scared at the prospect of being married, yet excited that I had accepted
him. I was rosy cheeked, and all smiles, in the manner that only women get
when they are getting married.
During the evening, Dr. Wallis told me to come to his office in the morning
for my weekly exam. Larry heard him, and asked what was the matter.
"Diane has a form of genital dysfunction that won't allow her to have
children Larry. But she will be very healthy after we finish the
treatments. By the time you two get married she'll be just fine. She might
not be able to have children, but if you let this girl get away from you,
you'll be sorry for the rest of your life."
The Doctor spoke lightly, but by the tone in his voice, he meant it! Larry
looked right at me, but spoke to the Doctor.
"Don't worry Doctor, we can adopt if we decide to have children. I just
want her well." Larry had to take his Grandmother home, but he and I made a
date for the next evening.
"It looks like you have made Larry's day Diane. I'm so happy for you." mom
hugged me, and then I turned to Sharon when she ahemed in the background.
"Just think, my little sister is getting married! Remember when I found you
dressed for the first time? I never would have guessed that you were really
a girl underneath that boy exterior, but I sure am glad!" That night I
fairly floated to my room. My birthday was coming up soon and I would be
18, finally able to let Dr. Wallis make the final adjustments to my body,
the one that would let me be complete. I planned to ask the doctor, during
my appointment the next day to schedule my surgery as soon as he could
after my birthday. I went to bed dreaming of Larry and some kids around the
house, you know the one, its got the white picket fence.
When I saw Dr. Wallis the next day, I asked about the surgery, and was told
that he would schedule me into the hospital on Jan 10th. If all went well,
I should be home in two weeks, and able to function within a month. Almost
my entire body had undergone the metamorphosis from male to female, and in
all but one respect I was as much a woman as any female. Soft skin, gentle
voice, rounded figure and a natural bone structure. The structure that made
me unable to compete with the boys in my "before Diane" life. When I got
home I told Mom what the Doctor said, and we started to plan my schooling
around the intended date of the surgery.
Sharon went back to college, and I continued my daily routine, but the time
passed ever so slowly for me. My anticipation was so much greater than my
willingness to wait, which only made the waiting worse. Christmas was a
quiet time for the Guzaki family, and we shared the holiday with each
other. Larry was unable to be with me, but he called and we spent a lot of
time on the phone. I had gotten all three of us designer dresses and purses
to match, while Sharon had bought me some very sexy lingerie for the time
when I would be able to wear, and use it.
On the day before Dr. Wallis was to operate, he and I met and he very
carefully covered, once again, all of the procedures I would have to
undergo, and the dangers involved. But I was in high spirits and nothing he
said would, or could deter me.
I was wheeled out of the surgery, groggy and unaware of the normal hospital
chaos around me. When I finally became aware of my surroundings, the first
person I saw was Larry. He kissed me gently on the forehead, and held my
hand firmly in his own. The last thing I remembered before I awoke in the
recovery room was the nurse giving me a shot! But Larry being there for me
made me feel warm all over, my love for him overflowing.
"You better let me have some time with Diane alone Larry, I'll be just a
minute." Dr. Wallis checked his work, and left me to rest. "Larry, why
don't you wait until tomorrow afternoon before you come back. She's very
tired and needs her rest."
I got a lot of get well cards while I was in the hospital, and all of my
friends came by to see me, even Mr. Newman stopped by, along with Ruth. In
ten days I was finally released, and when I got home, mom took me to my
room and made me rest for a while before getting up to eat..
This time, the days passed quickly for me, and I was back in school within
the month. I went back to work in the middle of February. I graduated with
honors of course, and Newman's offered me full time as head of the
Department when Ruth retired in August! Larry and I were married in June,
and I wore the same bridal gown I had modeled so proudly, not so long ago.
We are patiently waiting for Larry to finish his obligation to the
military, but we have started our life together as man and wife.
After our honeymoon and Larry returned to his base, I reflected on the
first time I dressed up in Sharon's clothes, and found truth in the adage
that you have look before you leap, impulsive acts can change your life. It
certainly changed mine.