Second Chances Chapter 23 La Vie en Rose
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Second Chances - Chapter 11 - Confessions free porn video
The rest of the school day flew by pretty quickly. Before I knew it, band
practice was over. I was mostly preoccupied with my thoughts. Thoughts of
Fay and Amber and Julie. I was worried that I was doing too much too
quickly and I was in over my head.
When band practice was over, I quickly walked around the school taping up
the powder puff flyers. Ron was eager to get home and get ready for his
gig, so I tried not to be slow about it.
Ron dropped me off at home. I walked inside and set my backpack down. I
had a few hours to kill before having to go out to the club for his gig.
Cindy was already home waiting for me. "Hey sis," she said.
"Hey," I replied. I kicked off my heels. Oh that feels good. Back when I
was Tony I've heard a number of women tell me that pain is fashion. I
think I get it now. My feet were definitely hurting.
"So you should know that I heard some rumors today at cheer practice,"
she said timidly.
Oh no. I was afraid of this.
"Amber said that you went out on a date with a girl last night," Cindy
continued.
"How'd she know about that?" I responded angrily.
"So it's true?" Cindy said with a surprised expression.
"I mean. I only went out dancing with Fay," I said trying to justify it.
"Fay? Your best friend from elementary school, Fay?" she asked.
"Yes."
"I got the impression from yesterday that you were going on date."
"I uh," I started. I looked at her and decided to be honest with my
sister. "I was hoping it was a date."
She was silent for a moment. Likely thinking of the right way to ask the
very question I was avoiding.
"I know what you're about to ask," I said. "And I don't know. I'm
experimenting. I've had the hugest crush on Fay since elementary school."
"Amber's spreading rumors that you're a lesbian and that you're taking
straight girls on dates. Trying to turn them gay or something sinister
like that."
I put my head into my hand and started rubbing my temples. That bitch. I
felt ill. I'm not sure what hurt more. Hearing that Amber's been
spreading rumors about me, or hearing that Fay was indeed straight.
"I kinda wish you would've told me," Cindy said. "Even if you don't want
to tell Mom or Dad."
"I didn't tell you because I didn't want it to be a big deal. Coming out
of the closet in the 90's is a big deal."
"So you are gay?"
"I don't know. I don't want be to labeled."
She was silent. Then she smiled and hugged me. "Gay or straight. You're
my big sister and I love you."
I hugged her back. "I love you too, sis"
After a long a few months of a silent embrace between two sisters, I
finally spoke up changing the subject. "I have a fashion task for us."
"Oh?" I saw her perk up.
"I'm going to Ron's band's gig tonight. I was considering dressing down
go out to the club. It's teen night."
"No No No," she said. "You've been absolutely rocking it with fashion the
past two days. You need to keep a good thing going! If not for anything
more than practice!"
"Well what does one wear to a ska concert?" I asked. It's been so long
ago for me, that even Tony doesn't remember.
"I don't know" she said. "But I can still help!" She ran off to her
bedroom. When she came back she was carrying at least 5 different
magazines in her hand. "Cosmo can help!"
* * *
So both of us laid on my bed skimming back-issues of Cosmopolitan. While
casually skimming it, I started to get a vision of what I wanted to
recreate.
Cindy let me borrow a grey pencil skirt. I chose a black v-neck shirt.
Since I'm going to a concert, I had to keep some part casual, so we both
agreed that plain black sneakers and black ankle socks would complete the
look we were going for. Then came the bright red lipstick and darker
mascara and eye liner.
She looked me over and said, "Let me get mom's curling iron. After a long
day of school your hair is too straight."
So Cindy helped me curl my hair to add more waves and bounce to it.
When we were done, she said, "You clean up well."
We smiled and laughed together.
* * *
I killed some time by doing my homework. When It was almost an hour until
show time, I hopped into my care and headed out.
I drove out to Ortley Beach and parked my car. There are times I just
can't believe it's 1997. This is one of those moments. There in front of
me was the Surf Club. It was a favorite place of mine. Many musical acts
have played there. Plus they had a restaurant deck ocean-side. Decent
drinks and food. Great ocean breeze. Oh and a great ocean view. It was
great until the ocean claimed it during Hurricane Sandy in 2012. Now all
that's there is busted foundation and dune grass. But the nostalgia of
the club still standing right in front of me was awesome.
I stand in line with other teens getting in for teen night. The bouncer
asked to see my ID and I showed my new drivers licence and he put a neon
orange wristband on my wrist.
Making my way through the club, I could see Ron on stage tuning his
saxophone. I did what came natural to me - I went to the bar. I highly
doubted they'll give 17 year old Christina a beer, so I ordered a Diet
Pepsi instead.
I thought back to the last time I was at a bar. It was only 3 days ago.
That trip to the bar changed my life. There I was judging a whole bunch
of teens listening to their friends play a gig. Here I was 3 days later
doing exactly what they were doing. I took a sip of my soda as I noticed
Ron waving me over to the stage.
I walked over to the front of the stage and looked up to Ron. "What's
up?"
"I wanted to introduce you to someone," he said as he grabbed the guys
arm beside him dragging him closer to me.
It was instant recognition on my part. Holy Shit. He was the lead singer
from the jazz band last night. But not only that, now that I have
context, I now remember where I knew him from. It was Chase. I remember
Chase from being in Ron's band. I also remember Chase being Ron's best
man at his wedding.
"Hi," he said smiling and extending his hand. "I remember you from last
night. I'm Chase."
"Hi," I replied. "I'm Christina. It's nice to meet you."
"You met last night?" Ron said confused.
"My other gig," Chase said to Ron. "The jazz band I play for. Christina
here is an excellent dancer."
I blushed. Wait. Why am I blushing?
"Well Chase here is an excellent singer," I said returning his
compliment. "His band makes it very easy to dance to."
"This guy over here has been talking about you so much," Chase said
nudging Ron. "I just had to meet you." He smiled. I felt my self go flush
again. What's wrong with me? "You are even prettier up close."
I smiled. I've been hearing this from my mom, my sister, and myself for
the past 2 days. But this is the first time I've heard from a guy.
"We need to cut this short. We're on in a minute," Ron interrupted.
"Christina, lets chat at the band break," he said smiling
"Sure," I said backing away from the stage.
I can't believe Ron is hooking me up with Chase. I hated Chase as Tony.
He was such an alpha male. In fact I confess. I was extremely jealous of
Chase. Once Ron started playing in this band he started to hang out with
Chase more than me. I hated Chase. I felt like he stole Ron from me. That
continued all through the rest of high school and into college. That's
why Chase was Ron's best man at his wedding and I was just a groomsman.
I looked back at Chase. I guess I can see what Ron sees in him. He's so
outgoing. He's everything Tony was not. He's good looking too. Wait. I
mean he's not bad to look at. No. I mean. He's not ugly. He can get any
girl he wants.
Just then, the band started and the crowd started cheering. Chase started
singing. His singing ska was so different than his crooner act he was
doing last night. He was playing the guitar. Ron was part of the
instrumental section behind Chase. This band didn't do any covers so it
was all original songs.
I had forgot how much fun ska was. That punk sound with a brass section
to accompany it. Granted it's weird to dance too. But I was getting into
it. I watched what others did so I didn't look like a fool. Eventually I
relaxed my body and I bobbed up and down while swinging my shoulders,
hips and my arms.
There was a moment when a dude tried dancing with me. He was all smiles.
Until I felt him grope my ass. I swatted that away so fast. "Dude, no" I
said and moved to another part of the dance floor. I was not having any
of that.
* * *
Time flew. I don't know how many songs went by. But I was sweating from
all of the dancing. The band stopped for their break. I was leaning up
against the bar swirling the melted ice in my soda cup.
"Hey Christina," Chase said as he approached me from the center of the
club. "Do you prefer Christina or Chrissy?"
"Chrissy is fine," I said. Oh wow. I never noticed his eyes. They're a
bright grayish blue. I noticed Ron still on stage watching us, clearly
giving us space.
"Can I buy you another drink?" he asked motioning to my empty plastic
soda cup.
"Nah," I replied. I've noticed Christina has a smaller bladder than Tony.
"Any more soda and I'll piss myself while driving home" Oh God, what am I
saying.
Chase laughed. "Wow. I've never heard a girl talk like that."
"Well I... sometimes I just spew out word vomit when I'm nervous," No.
Why did I just tell him I was nervous?
"You're nervous too?" he smiled. "Then, that's two of us. Ron would kick
my ass if I mistreated his best friend. Are you having fun?"
"Oh yeah," I said. "It's good music. You guys are great!"
"I almost was hoping to see you start swing dancing out there like last
night," he said.
I laughed. "Not quite the same music. But I was definitely dancing!"
"But I bet you could totally swing dance to this," he said.
"I guess I probably could. If I had the right song," I paused. "And the
right partner." I looked at him and smiled as I said that last line. Was
I flirting with him? Stop this now Christina. Abort. Abort.
"Sadly I cannot dance," he replied. "Do you teach losers like me?"
"I do," I said. "Wait. I don't mean that you're a loser or anything, but
I have been know to teach my partners," Quick. Find a way to exit this
conversation.
"Ron says you play too," he said.
"Yeah. I play the tenor sax. All through High School and College"
"You're a college girl?" he said surprised.
"Oh no no," Arg, why I am so flustered? I took a deep breath and resumed.
"I meant that I plan on playing when I go to college."
"Oh I see."
"You were good out there. I forgot how much I actually liked Ska" I said.
Maybe I can regain control of this conversation.
"Oh?" he said. "When's the last time you listened to it?"
"10, 15 years ago," I said before I could catch myself. Damn. I hate that
I have no filter when I'm flustered.
He laughed. "Ron never said you were funny."
I grinned. I'm glad someone finds my word vomit endearing. "So, which
school do you go to?" I ask. I knew the answer to that question, but I
decided to continue the small talk for some reason.
"East," he said. "You go to North with Ron?"
"Yeah."
Chase flashed a smile. It is a great smile.
I felt warm again. "So," I said. "What has Ron been saying about me?"
"He says your awesome. Like one of the guys. You rock out with him. Talk
football. Smart. A genius. He said he's known you for years."
I blushed hearing all of that stuff about me. "Yeah," I replied. "Since
junior high."
"Well, Chrissy," he said. "It was a pleasure to meet you and chat with
you. I need to get back up on stage. Can I get your number?"
"Yeah. Sure," I said. "Want me to just put it in your cell phone?"
"Come again?" he said confused.
"Sorry," I said. "I meant I don't have any paper..." I turned around to
the bar and took a napkin and spare pen I used to sign my tab. "This is
my parents number" I said loud to him, but also as a reminder to myself
to not write my future cell phone number.
"Good Night Chrissy," Chase said smiling as he walked away.
"Good night," I echoed.
That smile again. What's wrong with me? I haven't been this flustered
since seeing Fay for the first time in 20 years earlier this week. Am I
attracted to him?
I sighed at this weird feelings brewing in side of me. I can't be
attracted to Ron's friend Chase. This is crazy. I mean I haven't seen
Chase in well over 10 years. That's only because-
My jaw dropped and face went ghost white as a long forgotten memory came
to the surface.
Oh my God.
Chase died in a motorcycle accident a year after Ron's wedding. 2006
maybe?
Did I repress that memory?
The hairs on my neck were standing up. I stared off into my melted ice.
Is what why I'm here? It can't be. He doesn't die for another 9 years.
But here's someone that absolutely needs my help. Can I even change his
fate from this far in the past?
The band started playing again. Chase and I made eye contact and he
smiled. I smiled back. What am I going to do?
* * *
I left the club shortly after. Knowing of Chase's fate really sucked the
mood out of me. The bouncer was still sitting at the entrance.
"I get the sense you want to talk, Tony," the bouncer said.
"Yes. Absolutely," I said walking back to him. "Is this what I'm supposed
to do? Is this my mission? Chase?" I pointed back at the building.
He looked at me for a moment and then replied. "No."
"No?" I repeated surprised.
"I said you are to fix an event that happens over the course of these two
weeks. The event that you are implying is well outside the mission
parameters."
"So I'm supposed to let him die?" I said getting angry.
"I never said that. It's just not your mission."
"If that's not my mission, then I'm no closer to figuring what my mission
actually is!" I said exasperated.
He didn't say anything.
I had another burning question. "Why am I suddenly attracted to Chase?" I
ask.
"Tony. Christina. You have a new body. A new self image. You have new
emotions. Teenage hormones flooding your body."
He stopped.
"You didn't answer my question," I stated.
"You know who Tony is. You spent 37 years with him. Who is Christina?
You've only spent almost 3 days with her. I cannot answer that for you,"
he said.
Next question. "Have I made any change to the future yet?"
"I'd say yes."
"What changed?" I asked eagerly. "Will I get new memories of these
changes?"
"You won't get new memories. That's not how this works. Right now it's
1997. The future is in flux and can change second to second. But you are
making progress. You're already making impressions on the people you're
meeting and interacting with."
I was silent. I wasn't sure what to say. I'm totally bummed out that I
wasn't any closer to figuring out my mission. Plus I just met someone
that was going to die before I get back to the future, and I was
powerless to stop it. Plus it didn't help that I seem to be crushing on
that dude as well.
"Tony. Now, I have some questions for you," the angel said.
I was surprised at this. Up until now this seemed like a one-way
relationship between the angel and I. They show up unannounced. Critique
how I live my life. And maybe I get some questions answered.
"Why did you repress the memory of Chase's death?"
I stopped to think. "I don't know."
"Have you yet come to terms with your divorce?"
"What do you mean? I haven't thought about it today. I think that's a
start."
"When I met you back in 2018 you hadn't fully processed it. You hadn't
really grieved. You were projecting your feelings to others. When's the
last time you cried?"
"Cried?" I said. "Guys don't cry." Yeah, Amber almost brought me to tears
twice already. But no one saw that. I was bullied so much in school that
I vowed to put up a wall. To never show anyone that I'm weak.
"Then that's all I have for you tonight," the angel said as the bouncer
resumed looking stiff.
The bounder noticed me standing there looking at him and not saying
anything. "Can I help you miss?"
"No I'm fine" I said turning around and walking to my car.
* * *
When I got home, I went to my PC in the den. I turned on the radio that
was sitting next to my desk. I scanned for the only country music station
we had. Was I really looking for that song? When the computer was done
booting up. I checked my email. Some spam from the Star Trek web forum. I
checked my AIM Buddy List. Nobody was online. I pulled out my planner
from my backpack and started checking to see if I had any unfinished
homework to attend to.
Just then, I heard a familiar song play in the radio. The one I was
waiting for. I knew it would eventually come. It was the Tim McGraw and
Faith Hill duet, "It's your love." More importantly though- it was my
wedding song.
I closed my eyes. The song pulled me back to a different time. I was
happy. I was on top of the world.
I stood up out of my chair and put my arms up and around an invisible
dance partner. I started moving around my den doing the dance I
choreographed for us.
It wasn't a minute into the song when it happened. A tear rolled down my
eye. Then another. The dam had burst. I sat back down and cried into my
hands as the song continued to play.
I had it all. I let it get away. I let my inadequacies destroy the one
good thing I had. My wife is gone. The only woman who had ever loved
Tony. I am alone.
I finally grieved. I grieved for my divorce. I grieved for Tony.
My thoughts turned turned to Chase. An important part of Ron's life died
12 or so years ago, but I've been numb to it. Did I ever tell him sorry
his best friend died? Finally I grieved for Chase.
My mom passed by the den as I had my head in my hands.
"Chris, honey?" she said. "What's wrong?"
"Mom" i said, sniffing back tears. "Would you and Dad be disappointed if
I got a divorce?"
"Divorce?" she said. "You're too young to get married."
"I'm just worried that you look down upon me if I fail," I said.
She came to me and knelt down next to my chair. "Christina. We are proud
of you. You are our daughter and will always be our daughter. Even during
difficult times."
I got out of the chair and gave my Mom a hug. "Thank you," I said.
After I turned off everything in the den I cleaned myself up and went to
bed. Today didn't go as planned. I started it by thinking I was
invincible. I realized I'm just as vulnerable as ever.
Valentina
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