A Tale of Two Lovebirds
- 3 years ago
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I was giving a lot of thought to this afternoon's appointment. It was my first time seeing a psychiatrist, and the possible repercussions were bothering me. I mean, sure, I had always been sort of regarded as "off-the-wall", perhaps unconventional, maybe "eccentric" even, but no one had ever called me crazy, at least to my face.
For instance, I never thought of my little brother as the embodiment of world destruction. Nor did I see him as the Anti-Christ. He was a royal pain in the ass sometimes, but what little brother isn't? I had been recommended to see a psychologist to assess what he termed "suspected hypomania", and he arranged for this meeting with the psychiatrist just to "make sure everything is okay". At a rather exorbitant $225 an hour, you would think they could do a little bit more than that.
I did a search for hypomania on the Internet. The condition was characterized by a high energy level and euphoric mood that could last for several days and then change to irritability, intolerance and rage. Other symptoms included extroversion, loss of judgment, rapid speech/flow of ideas, an increased sex drive and a low need for sleep. It sounded like I was a prime candidate. Except for the rage part.
As far as I was concerned, none of this was a big surprise to me. I was certainly extroverted, was fairly friendly with strangers, was usually in a good mood, and I was fairly productive and creative. I didn't sleep a lot, and while I didn't consider myself promiscuous, I possessed a healthy sex drive. I was the one everybody attached the word "hyperactive". Self-esteem was not a problem of mine, and I didn't think I had any problems with the squandering of funds. In fact, I was quite frugal. And I couldn't really see any issues of judgment either, but then again, I would tend to be biased in that regard. I simply wasn't aware my mere existence was looked upon as a pathological condition.
Only given the day and time of the appointment, along with the name of the doctor I was supposed to visit, I really didn't know what to expect. The name on the card was Dr. Lofgren, and I half expected him to be a portly scholarly man of Norwegian descent, but I wasn't betting the family jewels on it.
The modern office complex where the psychiatrist was located was in a better part of town. After I entered the building, I walked down a long carpeted hallway to a large waiting room that appeared to be the reception area for several medical offices in the complex.
Checking in with the receptionist, I speculated from the style of her glasses and the lines on her face she was around 50 years old. She gave the definite impression she would much rather be somewhere else.
I sat down across a young woman in a ponytail, who appeared to be perfectly normal aside from the fact she was muttering "shit, piss, fuck" at random intervals. That and the slight unpredictable jerks of her head occurring each time she voiced the words. It was a little disconcerting, but as I tried to concentrate on the pamphlet I had picked up at the front desk, the receptionist called my name.
I stood up and started to walk in the direction of a doctor who appeared at the door to the hallway. I only glanced at her at first, and she happened to be quite cute. She was about 5 feet 6 inches tall, with somewhere between small to medium breasts with long slender legs, and her blonde hair looked as if it went to the middle of her back. She was dressed in a knee-length beige skirt and a light blue oxford button-down, and was holding a clipboard. In fact, although I was unsure why, it seemed I knew her. I had never been to this clinic before.
"Right this way, Daniel," she said to me, and as she passed me, seemed to study my face closely before walking with an unhurried pace down the hallway. I took the opportunity to observe a rather stunning ass in the motion of a seductive sway, with the tight-fitting skirt serving to highlight it nicely, and all too soon we were at the psychiatrist's office. She opened the door for me, I walked in and she followed casually, sitting down behind the desk. She looked more than vaguely familiar. "I'm Dr. Lofgren, Daniel. Please have a seat." She looked into my face for an extended moment, and in what seemed like an afterthought stated, "And you may call me Suzanne."
"Suzanne?" I thought to myself, in somewhat of a daze as it came back to me. "Suzanne Barrett?" I reasoned silently as I made out who she was. "Suzanne? But I thought your name was Barrett? And I thought your hair was light brown?" I asked with a confused tone in my voice.
"Danny? Is that really you?" she asked with a smile on her face. "I was thinking you looked awfully familiar. I didn't recognize you with that big ol' Cheech Marin mustache. Hmmm. Small world, isn't it?" She looked genuinely pleased to see me.
"Yes, it's really me, Suzanne... it's great to see you, considering the circumstances."
I had been quite enamored with Suzanne Barrett in my freshman year of college, where we were enrolled in the same English 101 class together at UCLA. I guess you'd call it a crush, but I was hesitant to act on it as she was three years older than I was. There were about 125 other people in the lecture hall, but we usually sat near each other in class and talked when we could. I also helped her with a few papers as the semester went on, and it included meeting her at her place. She was a senior at the time, acquiring needed credits for her undergraduate degree. She had mentioned that she was pre-med, but I was under the impression she was going into pediatrics. It was a major surprise, as I had no idea she had chosen psychiatry as a career. It had been about 8 years. I was delighted to see her, even considering the circumstances.
"Danny! It's so good to see you! I hadn't looked at the client roster before I came in today," she told me and smiled. "What are you doing in Birmingham?" She seemed to an unspecified glow about her.
"It's really nice to see you as well, Suzanne. I'm a writer these days. Short stories, novellas, and, umm... other things," I told her, neglecting to mention that my main source of income was from writing erotica under the pseudonym 'Dick Bigger'. "I live out in the country about 60 miles south of town. Dirt road, well water, lots of trees, deer in the back yard, the whole ten yards; a good place to write," I explained. "How about yourself?"
"I'm impressed, Danny. I do a little writing myself besides the technical drafts and such I have to do for universities and such. I ended up in Birmingham because of a teaching job at University of Alabama at Birmingham that opened up, and I also have a burgeoning 'roving' practice, where I see clients all over Shelby County," she related. "So, what has it been, 8 years or so?"
"I believe so," I told her, and looked to see her poring over the file my psychologist had prepared. I was kind of uneasy watching her read the file, for no other reason that I didn't know what it contained.
We began talking, discussing both the past and present, and she explained the reason why her name wasn't Barrett anymore. She had married an older anatomy professor at the medical school she had attended, and she had stayed together with him for almost 7 years. As she spoke, she gave a few not-so-subtle indications that the relationship wasn't satisfying either physically or emotionally for the duration of the marriage. She was in the process of coming to closure on divorce proceedings that were for the most part cordial, as he was a wealthy older man grateful for the time Suzanne had given him. She gave the rather distinct impression that she wasn't financially hurting. She also explained she had taken to dying her hair blonde shortly after her marriage. It was something her husband had requested, and she thought hair color wasn't all that big of a sacrifice. Besides, she told me, she had always wanted to see how she would look as a blonde. I would have told her she didn't look bad at all. Not bad at all.
"Well, we've wasted enough time. Hypomanic, huh? Hypomania can be an indication of the onset of bipolar disorder. Do you think you are bipolar?" she asked me with a serious look on her face, although her blue-gray eyes sparkled.
"I really don't know. I've done a little research on the 'Net after I was asked about the hypomania, and while I haven't exactly exhibited the more serious symptoms of manic depression, such as psychosis, a lot of what I saw in the descriptions of hypomania certainly apply to me," I told her honestly. "And I can tell you this, Suzanne," I went on to explain, "I'm scared shitless... if you'll excuse my french."
"That's perfectly reasonable. While we don't know if you have it or not, I can administer sort of a screening to help us get a clearer idea," she told me. "Any objections?"
"No, none whatsoever," I told her quietly, although I was very nervous about the evaluation. Really nervous.
"Okay; has there ever been a period of time when you were not your usual self and you felt so good or so hyper other people thought you were not your normal self, or you were so hyper that you got into trouble?" she asked calmly, looking into my eyes.
"No... but I think I've been close," I told her, then asked, "and is it okay to call you 'Suzanne'? I'm afraid I've been presumptuous." I watched her jot a quick note into her notebook. At the same time, I noticed that her breasts looked as good as they did in college.
"No, Suzanne is fine. I remember those times when you helped me out on those papers at school. I consider you a friend," she told me, and I thought back to the essay I helped her with on 'The Oxbow Incident'. "But tell me; what do you mean by 'I've been close'?"
"Well, you know... not that I felt like shooting up a post office or anything, but I would get 'all revved up', for lack of a better term," I told her. I proceeded to view her making several prolonged notes into her pad. 'This isn't going well,' I thought to myself.
"Okay - were you so irritable that you shout at people or started fights or arguments?" she asked, reading from her notebook.
"No... I'm still kinda laidback, Suzanne" I told her. And I really was. Living in a rural area tends to do that to you. I looked over and thought how sensuous her lips looked today. Always had, in fact.
"Have you felt much more self-confident than usual?" she asked me in a pleasing tone, but she seemed as if she knew what my response was going to be.
"Yeah... that's one of them. I just kinda thought I was just being more cocky than usual," I explained to her. And that's how I really felt. I saw her looking at me with a passive look on her face. Again with the note-taking.
"You always were a little cocksure," she said smiling, then went on. "Have you got much less sleep than usual and found you didn't really miss it?" she asked. She looked at me intently. She knew of my sleeping habits from college.
"Guilty as charged," I told her, looking into her face for some kind of an indication. Either way. "I probably sleep on the average of 5 or 6 hours a day. I thought it was merely my 'biological clock' running fast, as it were," I said. I really did believe that. I had been that way my entire life. That's why I thought nothing was wrong. At that, the psychiatrist entered several entries in her notebook before looking up at me.
"Yeah, I remember those all-nighters you used to pull in college. That's not good... as your doctor, I'd prefer you get at least 8 hours per day. I may prescribe you some sleeping medication, like Ambien. How does that sound?" she asked rather cheerfully. 'Too cheerfully', considering the moment, I thought to myself.
"If you say so, Suzanne. You're the doctor, and I trust you more than I normally would any other physician," I told her. I hated the thought of using sleeping pills to regulate my sleep. I didn't like pills much.
"I say so. Proper rest is important. Especially considering the fact you may be bipolar. Proper sleep can be a major factor in preventing manic episodes," she said pointedly, giving me a nervous glance. I was developing a very uneasy feeling. "Were you much more talkative or spoke much faster than usual?" She was beginning to look at me in a different manner than she had before. Or maybe I was simply beginning to get paranoid. This wasn't going well at all.
"Again, guilty as charged. I thought it was just my novel view on life. You know me, I've always been rather gregarious," I told her smiling impishly, then asked, "Is that bad?" I watched her make a few quick strokes in her notebook before she resumed.
"Well, it's not necessarily bad in and of itself, but when a number of factors show themselves as positive, then we may have a problem," she stated ambiguously. I wondered who this 'we' was she was referring to. "Have thoughts raced through your head or you couldn't slow your mind down?"
"I've had racing thoughts. Sure thing. Again, I thought they were just inherent to me," I said. "I thought it was simply the way I was." I really did. I had nothing to compare it to. She made a few hurried notations in her notebook.
"Are you so easily distracted by things around you that you had trouble concentrating or staying on track?", she inquired, and she looked as if already had a clue as to what I was going to say. At least that's how I read it.
"Are you sure you've never read any of my stuff?" I joked, and upon seeing her smile, I continued. "Yes, I do have those problems, but I thought they were merely the plague of a 'scatterbrained writer'. I have to do extensive outlines of stories I am going to write to be sure I stay on track, because, quite frankly, I lack the discipline to tell a story without meandering needlessly all over the place," I told her with an exasperated tone in my voice.
"Perhaps I will... I'd like to read some of your stuff, Danny," she told me, looking at me for an extended moment. "Have you had much more energy than usual?" she asked. She looked at me again like she knew what the response would be.
"That's me. To be honest, I thought that was my particular body type. I thought I was simply 'hyper'," I was telling her as I watched her scribbling into her pad, "and everyone else was less so."
"I'll agree with you on that point. When we were going to the U of A, I actually thought you were doing methamphetamine or something when you were helping me with those term papers. You were going a mile a minute," she said. "Were you?" she asked quietly, almost as a second thought.
"Nope. Never was much of a speed man. Makes you grind your teeth and smoke like it's going out of style," I told her honestly, as I had no reason to lie. She looked at me and grinned winsomely.
"This is off topic, so don't feel compelled to answer, but do you still use marijuana at all?" she asked me. She had used the word 'still' because she was aware of the fact I smoked reefer in college. If I recalled correctly, I had smoked a joint with her one night after we finished one of her papers for English 101.
"What's it to you?!" I joked, raising my voice in a mock offended manner, then addressed the manner at hand. "Sure, I've been known to burn one occasionally. It helps me 'take the edge off', if you will, of my normal constitution... umm, I guess this would be irrelevant as well, but do you still use marijuana?" I asked softly, lowering my voice to a near whisper.
"You're right... it is irrelevant, but I'll tell you anyway because I consider you a friend," she said, and paused while looking intently into my eyes. "Remember the joint we smoked after you helped me finish that paper on Orwell's '1984'?" she asked me, lowering her voice as if telling a secret. Upon seeing me nod in accordance, "*That* was the last time. And I was higher than the dickens," she giggled and smiled broadly.
Suzanne went on to ask me many more questions covering risk taking, problems with spending money, and similar issues. We had already spent way past my allotted hour, but since my appointment was her final case of the day, she seemed to have some leeway. She told me there was a good chance I was manic-depressive, but with regular use of anti-manic medication, there was a good chance we could prevent any episodes from occurring. She prescribed me a small amount of Ambien for sleep, but held off prescribing Lithium for the time being, saying she'd like to observe me a little more before committing to it. Christ, I was frightened.
"Now, don't take this personally, Danny, but I'm sorry, I can't really remain your doctor. I'll get you another one assigned here. She's really good. Her name is Dr. Huntsberry," she said, then went on to explain that our prior relationship prevented her from remaining my psychiatrist.
"Yeah, I was thinking something like that might come up. We could still talk to each other privately though, couldn't we?" I asked her, not wanting to sever the ties with the woman I had a crush on all those years. And still did. I looked at my watch. It was 7:15, and saw her studying my face closely, seeming to measure me.
"Sure thing, Danny. Listen, umm... now that I'm not your doctor anymore, would you care to join me for a little dinner?" she asked me speculatively. "I haven't eaten all day, and I thought you might make good company." She looked at me with a flirtatious smile on her face.
"Hell, I'd be honored, Suzanne. Hell, I'll join you for a *big* dinner," I told her and grinned. "I'm fairly famished, myself," I said. 'Perhaps the day might not be all bad after all,' I noted silently. "And this will be nice... on the arm of a beautiful psychiatrist." I noted her blushing slightly as I said it.
"You flirt, you," she said and laughed nervously. "Let me get my purse, and we'll go. Did you drive here?" she asked, and seeing me nod said, "Come with me. We'll swing by and get your car after we eat."
"After you, m'lady," I jested, holding my arm out, then followed her out the door, wondering what, if anything, she had in mind.
As we walked to her car, I noticed the grey herringbone tweed jacket Suzanne had on. I thought it looked quite fetching, especially considering the camouflage fatigue jacket I was wearing. We walked to a dark-blue 1992 Camaro, and after she entered, she unlocked the passenger side, and I got in.
"Have any preference? There are a bunch of CDs in that case," Suzanne informed me. She pointed to a CD case in her back seat, then started her car and drive toward the freeway.
"No, that's ok... the radio will do just fine," I told her. I turned to an FM rock station that I was familiar with where Elvin Bishop's "Fooled Around and Fell in Love" was just beginning to play. I became aware of the enticing perfume she was wearing.
"So, what have you been doing since you left UCLA? And why haven't you married? Seems a handsome charmer like yourself would have been snatched up long ago," she asked with a charming smile.
"As far as the marriage thing goes, don't you remember the line I had when we were at school? The 'neither The Church *nor* The State has any business in any relationship of mine' thing?" I reminded her. "I stuck by it," I told her with a chortle.
"Oh yeah... your 'radical' line," she smirked and smiled broadly. "So, what have you been doing since you left school?"
"Oh that... sorry. I've been writing a bit," I said, still not ready to divulge I was 'Dick Bigger'. Not at the moment anyway.
"Great. I do little writing myself you know," she said, looking over at me quickly as she continued down the highway.
"I'd like to see what you're writing these days. If I recall correctly, I'd turned you into a pretty fine writer when we were at school. You were hurling adverbs and flowery adjectives around like there was no tomorrow," I said grinning.
"You never know, Danny. You just might get to see some of it... soon," she said rather mysteriously. I wondered what she meant.
We arrived at the restaurant, and she pulled in and parked her car.
"After you, m'lady," I said with a grin as I held the door open for her.
"Fresh!" she said, smiling as we entered the eatery. "Thank you, Danny. You always were the polite one."
We sat at a table in the corner, talking about our days at the university as we dined on our dinners of pork ribs, slaw, and beans. We remembered fondly our time writing those papers together, talking and laughing about our college days. There was a pleasant intellectual foreplay taking place. I found myself recalling why I had a crush on her as I looked into her attractive face. Beside her cute nose and her piercing green eyes, she had very sensuous-looking full lips. I think she may have noticed me glancing at them as I was speaking to her. We finished our meals, and afterwards she had a vodka martini while I had an imported beer. Suzanne gazed across the table into my unsuspecting eyes, and her foot found a resting place between my legs, brushing lightly along my length. I responded in an instant, and she flashed a seductive smile, winking at me as the waiter brought our check.
"I'll get this. For all of those papers you helped me write in school; you helped me get a good grade in the class. I don't believe I've properly thanked you," she told me, smiling temptingly as she picked up the check and found her credit card. She handed it to the waiter who took it to the register.
"Let me at least pick up the tip," I told her, and after I set it down on the table, the waiter appeared with her card. "And thank you, Suzanne. I've had a wonderful time." We headed for her car, and I was still reeling from her unexpected graze of my crotch. There was a growing bulge in my pants.
We departed the restaurant, and as we were walking side by side to her car, I felt her hand come to rest on my lower back. I turned to face her, and she caught me by surprise by quickly pulling my face to hers, kissing me passionately. I parted my lips slightly, and her tongue met mine, dancing frantically in my mouth as my hands rested on her rounded hips. We paused the kiss, looking intently into each other's eyes, and she grabbed my hand and led me to her car. I was taken aback, not knowing what to say, and planned on keeping my mouth shut in fear of spoiling the moment.
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It was already dusk when I got into my car. The radio was still on. Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping" was playing. "How appropriate" I thought to myself. The Radio gods must be telling me something. I pulled out of the driving singing, "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down..." As I drove, I rehearsed what I'm going to say to Chase. I'm going to tell him the truth. Well - a variation of the truth. I won't mention time travel or future events. I certainly...
Today was shaping up to be like most any other Thursday; pretty boring. My daughter Alice turned 21 today and, despite promising me that she and I would go get her first legal cocktail together, she was going out after work with her new friends from the law firm where she just started interning a month ago. Since it was about 4:30 in the afternoon, I figured my wife Suzie had cracked open that new box of chardonnay by now. Yeah, I know. Wine in a box. At least it’s cheap that way, like a volume...
Melanie found some of my daughter Alice’s looser fitting clothes and struggled into them. The Uber driver was two minutes away. Maybe, I thought. Just maybe, we can get Melanie out of here without a major scene with my hungover wife. I creaked open Alice’s door and peered out into the hall. My bedroom door was shut, where my wife was still, hopefully, sleeping. I waved Melanie out and we raced downstairs to the laundry room. She picked up her purse, shoes, and clothes from last night and we...
"You want us to watch Shannon until the fireworks are over, and then to bring her home?" Ryan Cameron didn't really have a question about what Rev. Powell wanted; he just needed a minute to consider the consequences. It was Saturday, July 4, and the fireworks were scheduled for later that night. "Oh could I, Mr. Cameron?" Shannon Powell begged. "I would appreciate it," Rev. Powell said. "I don't have to read my sermon from the pulpit, but I do have to write it down. And today I've...
She was driving home from the Doctor’s appointment; steering with her right hand while her left rested on her stomach. She was thinking of the future and her husband as she approached the intersection. The light was green her way and had been for a bit as the stopped traffic had cleared out. She was half way through the intersection when the street racer, who was trying to out run the police, hit her broadside. He awoke from the dream, covered in sweat and shaking. Scrubbing his hands over...
I called off my date with Gina. I told her in person. "Too bad. I was considering buying black fishnets for the occasion." "On you, they might have turned into a fetish for me." "Instead, you turned into a shit." Her shaking head underscored disapproval. "Look. You're only interested in playing, pretending more than participating. I won't get what I need trying it with you. "I would have made it worth your time and, ahem, effort." Her swallow following her words spoke truer....
I never saw Tamara again. She didn't respond to my one text congratulating her. After thinking about it, that probably wasn't what she wanted from me. Mother pouted. Dad had actually laughed in public. It was like she'd never known the man, and she blamed me. In a bizarre form of punishment, she started wearing lipstick. It was blatant. She applied a deep red pigment to her cumulus lips, weekdays while Father was at work. One day, her father caught her wearing it. I was given twenty...
August 18, 2000, Colorado Springs, Colorado I woke on Friday morning amused by the dream I’d had... “Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Adams?” she asked with a very enticing smile. “I suppose that depends,” I replied. “On?” “Whether or not you have a second set of sheets.” She laughed, “I would have thought given the state of the bed, you wouldn’t have much energy left.” “I’ll take a nap,” I grinned. “My shift ends at 1:00am; I could bring the sheets then.” She left, then...
The morning arrived in a rush. I blinked my eyes open when the clock-radio started playing “Yesterday.” The Beatles seemed to have read me perfectly. “Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they’re here to stay.” I mean, sure, the song’s about a girl leaving, but Estelle’s lack of concern for my opinion or my feelings had kicked me in the guts so hard that she might as well have left. I felt as if she’d abandoned me by trying to turn me into a toy that she...
So they want me to write down why I was so angry with Mum. Well what I said at Friday breakfast was part of it but there’s more. This is all my own writing. Jen helped me in a few places but mostly she said it was better if it was my own writing. I know I’m not as good at writing as some people but I try really hard and I think I’m getting better. Jen said I still have some things to learn about grammar so maybe I’ll ask Miss Little to teach me more grammar. I feel sorry for the boys who...
There was a really loud silence around the table after Dad left for work that Friday morning. Bonnie and I were finished eating so we stood up and started tidying away the breakfast things. Mum stirred and looked at me. I could tell she was about to ask a question, so I cut her off. “Just don’t, okay?” I said rather forcibly. “I’m not ready to talk about it so don’t even start.” “There’s no call to talk to me like that,” she snapped back at me. So I got in her face and screamed at her to...
I don’t think the bank got their money’s worth from me that day. I couldn’t concentrate on my work and I had to check each job I did three times to catch all the mistakes. During my lunch break I called my sister, Maggie, and told her all about what had happened last night. She made all the right noises though she did suggest I might have been in the minority by refusing Jen’s offer. She thought that a lot of fathers probably wouldn’t hesitate to accept if they were in my position. I’m not...
Like I said last time this is all my own writing. I’m typing it into the computer and I’m going to get Jen to read it and tell me if there’s anything stupid but mostly it’s my own writing. I know how to use the spelling checker so hopefully I won’t get any words wrong but if I get some wrong then I’m sorry but I’m trying my best. And Jen says I still have to learn more about grammar so if you don’t like reading what I write ‘cause I don’t know enough grammar then I’m sorry about that too. Jen...
I couldn’t believe what was happening. It was incredible. It was outrageous. Little Bonnie, her face tight with rage, was taping Estelle’s mouth closed – gagging her and binding her to the chair. It was all happening right in front of me and I didn’t do a thing to stop her. Not only that, but I helped. I expected Dad to put a stop to it at any second. He’s such a gentle man. There was no way he would tolerate such a violent, physical attack on his wife – even if it was his children doing...
I moved from sleeping to waking in that easy way that happens when it’s a Saturday and your alarm is switched firmly to the off position. The warm body cuddled up against me was still and relaxed which meant she was still asleep. I lay still for a moment until the idea percolated into my head that Estelle was sleeping in the other room so therefore I should’ve been on my own. I carefully rolled until I was lying face to face with Jen, my elder daughter. Her arms had allowed me to roll and...
I was in the 2nd garage polishing my other car. This one is a 1948 Holden FX that my father restored. People tell me that the Holden FX was the first true Australian car, even though it was based on a Chevrolet design from the U.S. I gather it’s not as big as the U.S. Chevrolets of that era, but it has a very similar shape. Holdens were built in Australia and the Holden FX and its successors dominated Australian roads for many, many years. If you’re interested, the FX is a mid-sized 4 door...
The first half of this summer’s interns arrived in late May. We met them Monday morning, shaking hands as we moved through the much larger than normal group. The first half of the interns was more than we had in total last summer. Of course, we also had a lot more work to do. I noticed a timid-looking young Hispanic woman near the back of the group as we approached. When I neared her, she genuflected to one knee. “Holy Shaman Parker,” she said reverently in Mayan, her voice quivering with...
Sally was released from “sleep-jail” in time to join us for breakfast. The room was full of knowing smirks when she immediately claimed my lap, and she almost behaved herself with only one quick grope she claimed was an accident. She made no excuses for the kiss she gave me right before we left for work. She worked like a girl possessed all morning, again claiming my lap at lunch. That’s where her parents found her when they came by to get her. Sally looked very pleased with herself when they...
There is nothing in my life comparable to driving around in an antique car. They look different. They sound different. They feel different. They even smell different. People you go past turn their heads to look at the car. They look at you riding in the car and wonder, ‘Who are those people? What’s special about them that they get to drive around like that? Why are they all dressed up? What’s the special occasion?’ This particular antique car is a Holden FX. Her name is Mabel. She’s been in...
The first half of the drive home was accompanied by non-stop chattering from Bonnie as she told us everything about her night and everything she thought we should know out about her new friend Marcus. Eventually Dad said, “So, you had a nice time then?” “Totally,” said Bonnie. “Am I in trouble for butting in at the start and talking to Marcus?” asked Dad. “Or are you going to let me off the hook for that?” “No, that’s okay,” said Bonnie. “It was embarrassing at first, but I think you...
Estelle was in the kitchen making pancakes for breakfast. I went and helped because that’s what sisters do. When I said that to Estelle she smiled at me and leaned down to kiss my cheek. As we worked together I saw that the benches and the kitchen table had all been wiped down. The benches had been tidied, too. I think she’d been up for a while and she’d been cleaning things. I think she was in a really good mood because she was humming to herself as she cooked. As each pancake was cooked we...
When your beginner-driver daughter is out driving with the remainder of your family as her passengers, absolutely the last thing you want to receive is a phone call. Even before you answer, the heart starts beating faster and the mind starts whirling with possibilities. When it’s your afore-mentioned daughter talking on her mother’s mobile phone and her voice is clearly distressed, some possible outcomes get discarded but other options start whirling around. I took a couple of deep breaths...
I was sitting with Estelle when a man came into her room a few minutes after 9:00am on Monday morning. He was short and stocky and I would guess somewhere in his 40s. His badge said Dr Nestry. He was carrying the standard clipboard. He looked at his clipboard and he said, “Hi, my patient is supposed to be Estelle Chancelor. I’m hoping that’s you in the bed. Are you Estelle?” Estelle nodded. “Yes, that’s me, I’m Estelle Chancelor.” “Could you please tell me your birth date and your home...
Dad drives a hard bargain. Strike that. Dad usually drives a hard bargain. Even for things he doesn’t really care about he will often bargain with you, just to see how much you really want the thing you’re asking for. As in: (this happened a few months ago) “Dad, can I go to that party on Saturday night?” “Sure, if you do the dishwasher each night for the rest of the month.” “But Dad, that’s your chore this week.” “So it is, what a coincidence.” “How about I do it for two of your nights....
“I feel guilty,” I said. Benito smiled at me and nodded. “What’s making you feel guilty?” We were sitting on Dr Puretti’s couch in his office. He’d asked for an appointment, so I’d taken off from work early. My boss knew about Estelle being in hospital, so she’s given me a bit of slack this week. “I let Jennifer do that to me last night,” I said. “Isn’t that enough?” “What aspect of that is making you feel guilty?” asked Benito. “Um ... My wife is in hospital, recovering from surgery and...
After school, I picked up Bonnie and we went to the hospital to check on Mum. She comes home tomorrow morning so that’ll be good. Dad was sitting there as well, and they were watching a farming show on TV. We get a lot of farming shows on TV in this part of the country. Dad switched off the TV when we came in and we spent time catching up with each other. Dad told us how Mum’s outbursts when she screamed nonsense at us were a brain thing called IED that was probably related to the cyst that...
For dinner on Friday we had a really nice chicken sweet-and-sour with steamed rice. Bonnie had cooked it, with a bit of help from Estelle. I thought I detected a bit of tension in the kitchen when I came home but Bonnie was standing there doing the bulk of the work and Estelle was sitting chopping vegetables and occasionally answering a question from Bonnie like “How do I know if the chicken is cooked enough?” or “How much salt should I put in?”. I sat there at dinner and thought that the...
I woke up on Sunday morning feeling wonderfully refreshed. I felt better now that I’d told Dad that I’d changed my mind about the sex. I hadn’t known it was worrying me until I told him but suddenly I felt enormous relief. I should find a way to thank Bonnie for showing me what I really needed, not that she knew she was doing that. She was looking after herself as well as looking for some fun. Dad and Bonnie had a wonderful time yesterday evening but I had nearly as much fun watching them...
Benito looked at me and said, “So?” I took a deep breath. “Bonnie and Estelle have a long way to go but they’re making good progress. It helps that Bonnie understands and is actively helping to rebuild their relationship. Jen and Bonnie never had problems – they’ve always been good with each other. I mean sure, they’ve squabbled occasionally but not much and not often. I don’t think Jen and Estelle will ever go back to a child/parent relationship. I think both Jen and Estelle have worked out...
I leaned back in my deck chair and rested my head on the back, facing up towards the sky but with my eyes closed. My ears rang with the excited shrieks of 21 little girls. We had 19 out of the 22 in the class plus 2 younger sisters. Have you ever noticed that one excited girl will squeal occasionally? A group of 3 or 4 girls will break out into periodic bursts of shrieking. But when you go past a certain number of little girls, the shrieking all joins together into a continuous noise that...
The pool party was in full swing. The food was ready and piled up on the table. We had a ridiculous amount of food. I thought maybe we should’ve invited the whole school to help eat it instead of the girls from just one class. I checked with Estelle that everything was ready, and she gave me a thumbs up. Then I waved at Jen beside the pool. She blew her whistle and started getting the girls out of the pool. As soon as the girls realised food was ready, nobody dawdled. We got all the girls...
I was sitting back in my easy chair in front of the TV. There was a nature program running which was mostly interesting until the need to rest my eyes became more important. So, I was sitting back in my easy chair resting my eyes when... “Hey Dad,” said a voice and a weight lowered into my lap. I blinked my eyes a couple of times to adjust to the light in the room and grinned at my younger daughter. “Hey Bon, sweetheart. What’s up?” I asked. “Nothing major,” she said and wrapped her...
February 13, 2012: Sunshine poured into my apartment's unprotected living room, filling the area with near-blinding amounts of light. I sat on my tan sofa, brownish-blonde hair tied in a ponytail behind my head; I wore black t-shirt with a Spider-Man mask on the front, the words "The Amazing Spider-Man" written on it, and light blue jeans. So what was I going to do with my day? This was a question I often pondered for entire days, days in which I never accomplished anything. So as usual...
“Enough!” I loudly decided, more than an hour later, when I could start to see the sun setting in the horizon, outside the glass penthouse walls and the angry voices had at least for now subsided enough that I could begin to hear myself think again. Mostly, I was thinking about getting some food! I was starving, having had nothing but those cookie snacks a few hours ago to eat in several days. “Alright ... enough already!” I repeated, standing up from my chair to project my voice ... and a...
At least when I awoke this time my brain wasn’t still on fire, complaining at me! Unfortunately, I was bound by my hands and feet to a hospital bed by sturdy leather straps. I was apparently being held as a prisoner somewhere ... but for once, this time after being captured by the authorities, I rather liked my odds of not ending up in prison. I didn’t care where they were holding me; the chances were going to be very good that I’d find a way out of here! On the plus side, with a slight turn...
This time, nearly everyone was surprised ... really astonished in fact, that I’d walked back in through the front door under my own pegs. The word had gotten out that I was expendable and had been taken off for a ride already. I just grinned shook my head at Otto that I didn’t want another beer and then I pointed my left index finger upwards to show that I was heading back up to see the Boss, again. Knuckles saw me heading that way, further down towards the back end of the bar, and the big...
Just by the look in his eyes, I knew he was gaga over me and although it did stroke my ego he was never anybody I’d be interested in. It wasn’t that I lead him on but more like me not telling him to get lost but either way it encouraged him to hang around just waiting for his chance. I had a boyfriend and he knew it but he said I was too good for the boyfriend and that he would wait until I realized it too. John was right and I knew it, Mark was a loser and would always be a loser but the sex...