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Another Chance at Love

I was giving a lot of thought to this afternoon’s appointment. It was my first time to see a psychiatrist and the possible repercussions were bothering me. I mean, sure, I had always been sort of regarded as ‘off-the-wall’, perhaps unconventional, maybe ‘eccentric’ even, but no one had ever called me ‘crazy’, at least to my face.

For instance, I had never thought of my little brother as the embodiment of world destruction. Nor did I see him as the Anti-Christ. He was a royal pain in the ass sometimes, but what little brother isn’t? I had seen a psychologist to assess what he termed ‘suspected hypomania’, and he’d arranged for this meeting with the psychiatrist just to ‘make sure everything is okay’. At a rather exorbitant $225 an hour, you would think they could do a little bit more than that.

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Another Chance at Love

I was giving a lot of thought to this afternoon's appointment. It was my first time seeing a psychiatrist, and the possible repercussions were bothering me. I mean, sure, I had always been sort of regarded as "off-the-wall", perhaps unconventional, maybe "eccentric" even, but no one had ever called me crazy, at least to my face. For instance, I never thought of my little brother as the embodiment of world destruction. Nor did I see him as the Anti-Christ. He was a royal pain in the ass...

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Melanie found some of my daughter Alice’s looser fitting clothes and struggled into them. The Uber driver was two minutes away. Maybe, I thought. Just maybe, we can get Melanie out of here without a major scene with my hungover wife.Dressed in my skivvies, I creaked open Alice’s door and peered out into the hall. My bedroom door was shut, where my wife was still, hopefully, sleeping. I waved Melanie out and we raced downstairs to the laundry room. She picked up her clothes from last night and...

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Today was shaping up to be like most any other Thursday; pretty boring. My daughter Alice turned twenty one today and, despite promising me that she and I would go get her first legal cocktail together, she went out after work with her new friends from the law firm. She just started interning a month ago, but seemed to have already made many friends. I'm proud of her for that, but still, I wanted to buy her first drink!Since it was about 4:30 in the afternoon, I figured my wife Suzie had...

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Today was shaping up to be like most any other Thursday; pretty boring. My daughter Alice turned 21 today and, despite promising me that she and I would go get her first legal cocktail together, she was going out after work with her new friends from the law firm where she just started interning a month ago. Since it was about 4:30 in the afternoon, I figured my wife Suzie had cracked open that new box of chardonnay by now. Yeah, I know. Wine in a box. At least it’s cheap that way, like a volume...

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Melanie found some of my daughter Alice’s looser fitting clothes and struggled into them. The Uber driver was two minutes away. Maybe, I thought. Just maybe, we can get Melanie out of here without a major scene with my hungover wife. I creaked open Alice’s door and peered out into the hall. My bedroom door was shut, where my wife was still, hopefully, sleeping. I waved Melanie out and we raced downstairs to the laundry room. She picked up her purse, shoes, and clothes from last night and we...

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She was driving home from the Doctor’s appointment; steering with her right hand while her left rested on her stomach. She was thinking of the future and her husband as she approached the intersection. The light was green her way and had been for a bit as the stopped traffic had cleared out. She was half way through the intersection when the street racer, who was trying to out run the police, hit her broadside. He awoke from the dream, covered in sweat and shaking. Scrubbing his hands over...

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I called off my date with Gina. I told her in person. "Too bad. I was considering buying black fishnets for the occasion." "On you, they might have turned into a fetish for me." "Instead, you turned into a shit." Her shaking head underscored disapproval. "Look. You're only interested in playing, pretending more than participating. I won't get what I need trying it with you. "I would have made it worth your time and, ahem, effort." Her swallow following her words spoke truer....

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I never saw Tamara again. She didn't respond to my one text congratulating her. After thinking about it, that probably wasn't what she wanted from me. Mother pouted. Dad had actually laughed in public. It was like she'd never known the man, and she blamed me. In a bizarre form of punishment, she started wearing lipstick. It was blatant. She applied a deep red pigment to her cumulus lips, weekdays while Father was at work. One day, her father caught her wearing it. I was given twenty...

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The morning arrived in a rush. I blinked my eyes open when the clock-radio started playing “Yesterday.” The Beatles seemed to have read me perfectly. “Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they’re here to stay.” I mean, sure, the song’s about a girl leaving, but Estelle’s lack of concern for my opinion or my feelings had kicked me in the guts so hard that she might as well have left. I felt as if she’d abandoned me by trying to turn me into a toy that she...

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So they want me to write down why I was so angry with Mum. Well what I said at Friday breakfast was part of it but there’s more. This is all my own writing. Jen helped me in a few places but mostly she said it was better if it was my own writing. I know I’m not as good at writing as some people but I try really hard and I think I’m getting better. Jen said I still have some things to learn about grammar so maybe I’ll ask Miss Little to teach me more grammar. I feel sorry for the boys who...

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There was a really loud silence around the table after Dad left for work that Friday morning. Bonnie and I were finished eating so we stood up and started tidying away the breakfast things. Mum stirred and looked at me. I could tell she was about to ask a question, so I cut her off. “Just don’t, okay?” I said rather forcibly. “I’m not ready to talk about it so don’t even start.” “There’s no call to talk to me like that,” she snapped back at me. So I got in her face and screamed at her to...

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I don’t think the bank got their money’s worth from me that day. I couldn’t concentrate on my work and I had to check each job I did three times to catch all the mistakes. During my lunch break I called my sister, Maggie, and told her all about what had happened last night. She made all the right noises though she did suggest I might have been in the minority by refusing Jen’s offer. She thought that a lot of fathers probably wouldn’t hesitate to accept if they were in my position. I’m not...

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I couldn’t believe what was happening. It was incredible. It was outrageous. Little Bonnie, her face tight with rage, was taping Estelle’s mouth closed – gagging her and binding her to the chair. It was all happening right in front of me and I didn’t do a thing to stop her. Not only that, but I helped. I expected Dad to put a stop to it at any second. He’s such a gentle man. There was no way he would tolerate such a violent, physical attack on his wife – even if it was his children doing...

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I moved from sleeping to waking in that easy way that happens when it’s a Saturday and your alarm is switched firmly to the off position. The warm body cuddled up against me was still and relaxed which meant she was still asleep. I lay still for a moment until the idea percolated into my head that Estelle was sleeping in the other room so therefore I should’ve been on my own. I carefully rolled until I was lying face to face with Jen, my elder daughter. Her arms had allowed me to roll and...

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I was in the 2nd garage polishing my other car. This one is a 1948 Holden FX that my father restored. People tell me that the Holden FX was the first true Australian car, even though it was based on a Chevrolet design from the U.S. I gather it’s not as big as the U.S. Chevrolets of that era, but it has a very similar shape. Holdens were built in Australia and the Holden FX and its successors dominated Australian roads for many, many years. If you’re interested, the FX is a mid-sized 4 door...

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There is nothing in my life comparable to driving around in an antique car. They look different. They sound different. They feel different. They even smell different. People you go past turn their heads to look at the car. They look at you riding in the car and wonder, ‘Who are those people? What’s special about them that they get to drive around like that? Why are they all dressed up? What’s the special occasion?’ This particular antique car is a Holden FX. Her name is Mabel. She’s been in...

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The first half of the drive home was accompanied by non-stop chattering from Bonnie as she told us everything about her night and everything she thought we should know out about her new friend Marcus. Eventually Dad said, “So, you had a nice time then?” “Totally,” said Bonnie. “Am I in trouble for butting in at the start and talking to Marcus?” asked Dad. “Or are you going to let me off the hook for that?” “No, that’s okay,” said Bonnie. “It was embarrassing at first, but I think you...

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Estelle was in the kitchen making pancakes for breakfast. I went and helped because that’s what sisters do. When I said that to Estelle she smiled at me and leaned down to kiss my cheek. As we worked together I saw that the benches and the kitchen table had all been wiped down. The benches had been tidied, too. I think she’d been up for a while and she’d been cleaning things. I think she was in a really good mood because she was humming to herself as she cooked. As each pancake was cooked we...

The DilemmaChapter 13 Gareth Chancelor Sunday

When your beginner-driver daughter is out driving with the remainder of your family as her passengers, absolutely the last thing you want to receive is a phone call. Even before you answer, the heart starts beating faster and the mind starts whirling with possibilities. When it’s your afore-mentioned daughter talking on her mother’s mobile phone and her voice is clearly distressed, some possible outcomes get discarded but other options start whirling around. I took a couple of deep breaths...

The DilemmaChapter 14 Gareth Chancelor Monday

I was sitting with Estelle when a man came into her room a few minutes after 9:00am on Monday morning. He was short and stocky and I would guess somewhere in his 40s. His badge said Dr Nestry. He was carrying the standard clipboard. He looked at his clipboard and he said, “Hi, my patient is supposed to be Estelle Chancelor. I’m hoping that’s you in the bed. Are you Estelle?” Estelle nodded. “Yes, that’s me, I’m Estelle Chancelor.” “Could you please tell me your birth date and your home...

The DilemmaChapter 15 Jennifer Chancelor Tuesday

Dad drives a hard bargain. Strike that. Dad usually drives a hard bargain. Even for things he doesn’t really care about he will often bargain with you, just to see how much you really want the thing you’re asking for. As in: (this happened a few months ago) “Dad, can I go to that party on Saturday night?” “Sure, if you do the dishwasher each night for the rest of the month.” “But Dad, that’s your chore this week.” “So it is, what a coincidence.” “How about I do it for two of your nights....

The DilemmaChapter 16 Gareth Chancelor Wednesday

“I feel guilty,” I said. Benito smiled at me and nodded. “What’s making you feel guilty?” We were sitting on Dr Puretti’s couch in his office. He’d asked for an appointment, so I’d taken off from work early. My boss knew about Estelle being in hospital, so she’s given me a bit of slack this week. “I let Jennifer do that to me last night,” I said. “Isn’t that enough?” “What aspect of that is making you feel guilty?” asked Benito. “Um ... My wife is in hospital, recovering from surgery and...

The DilemmaChapter 17 Jennifer Chancelor Wednesday Evening

After school, I picked up Bonnie and we went to the hospital to check on Mum. She comes home tomorrow morning so that’ll be good. Dad was sitting there as well, and they were watching a farming show on TV. We get a lot of farming shows on TV in this part of the country. Dad switched off the TV when we came in and we spent time catching up with each other. Dad told us how Mum’s outbursts when she screamed nonsense at us were a brain thing called IED that was probably related to the cyst that...

The DilemmaChapter 18 Gareth Chancelor Friday Evening

For dinner on Friday we had a really nice chicken sweet-and-sour with steamed rice. Bonnie had cooked it, with a bit of help from Estelle. I thought I detected a bit of tension in the kitchen when I came home but Bonnie was standing there doing the bulk of the work and Estelle was sitting chopping vegetables and occasionally answering a question from Bonnie like “How do I know if the chicken is cooked enough?” or “How much salt should I put in?”. I sat there at dinner and thought that the...

The DilemmaChapter 19 Jennifer Chancelor Sunday Morning

I woke up on Sunday morning feeling wonderfully refreshed. I felt better now that I’d told Dad that I’d changed my mind about the sex. I hadn’t known it was worrying me until I told him but suddenly I felt enormous relief. I should find a way to thank Bonnie for showing me what I really needed, not that she knew she was doing that. She was looking after herself as well as looking for some fun. Dad and Bonnie had a wonderful time yesterday evening but I had nearly as much fun watching them...

The DilemmaChapter 20 Gareth Chancelor Monday afternoon

Benito looked at me and said, “So?” I took a deep breath. “Bonnie and Estelle have a long way to go but they’re making good progress. It helps that Bonnie understands and is actively helping to rebuild their relationship. Jen and Bonnie never had problems – they’ve always been good with each other. I mean sure, they’ve squabbled occasionally but not much and not often. I don’t think Jen and Estelle will ever go back to a child/parent relationship. I think both Jen and Estelle have worked out...

The DilemmaChapter 21 Gareth Chancelor Saturday afternoon 10 days later

I leaned back in my deck chair and rested my head on the back, facing up towards the sky but with my eyes closed. My ears rang with the excited shrieks of 21 little girls. We had 19 out of the 22 in the class plus 2 younger sisters. Have you ever noticed that one excited girl will squeal occasionally? A group of 3 or 4 girls will break out into periodic bursts of shrieking. But when you go past a certain number of little girls, the shrieking all joins together into a continuous noise that...

The DilemmaChapter 22 Gareth Chancelor Saturday afternoon continued

The pool party was in full swing. The food was ready and piled up on the table. We had a ridiculous amount of food. I thought maybe we should’ve invited the whole school to help eat it instead of the girls from just one class. I checked with Estelle that everything was ready, and she gave me a thumbs up. Then I waved at Jen beside the pool. She blew her whistle and started getting the girls out of the pool. As soon as the girls realised food was ready, nobody dawdled. We got all the girls...

The DilemmaEpilogue Gareth Chancelor

I was sitting back in my easy chair in front of the TV. There was a nature program running which was mostly interesting until the need to rest my eyes became more important. So, I was sitting back in my easy chair resting my eyes when... “Hey Dad,” said a voice and a weight lowered into my lap. I blinked my eyes a couple of times to adjust to the light in the room and grinned at my younger daughter. “Hey Bon, sweetheart. What’s up?” I asked. “Nothing major,” she said and wrapped her...

Another Chance Opportunities Missed

February 13, 2012: Sunshine poured into my apartment's unprotected living room, filling the area with near-blinding amounts of light. I sat on my tan sofa, brownish-blonde hair tied in a ponytail behind my head; I wore black t-shirt with a Spider-Man mask on the front, the words "The Amazing Spider-Man" written on it, and light blue jeans. So what was I going to do with my day? This was a question I often pondered for entire days, days in which I never accomplished anything. So as usual...

Chances AreChapter 6

“Enough!” I loudly decided, more than an hour later, when I could start to see the sun setting in the horizon, outside the glass penthouse walls and the angry voices had at least for now subsided enough that I could begin to hear myself think again. Mostly, I was thinking about getting some food! I was starving, having had nothing but those cookie snacks a few hours ago to eat in several days. “Alright ... enough already!” I repeated, standing up from my chair to project my voice ... and a...

Chances AreChapter 4

At least when I awoke this time my brain wasn’t still on fire, complaining at me! Unfortunately, I was bound by my hands and feet to a hospital bed by sturdy leather straps. I was apparently being held as a prisoner somewhere ... but for once, this time after being captured by the authorities, I rather liked my odds of not ending up in prison. I didn’t care where they were holding me; the chances were going to be very good that I’d find a way out of here! On the plus side, with a slight turn...

Chances AreChapter 7

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One Chance for Love

Just by the look in his eyes, I knew he was gaga over me and although it did stroke my ego he was never anybody I’d be interested in. It wasn’t that I lead him on but more like me not telling him to get lost but either way it encouraged him to hang around just waiting for his chance. I had a boyfriend and he knew it but he said I was too good for the boyfriend and that he would wait until I realized it too. John was right and I knew it, Mark was a loser and would always be a loser but the sex...

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