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When Amy woke up (or rather, I booted her cute little butt out of bed; she would be late for school every day if it were up to her) she seemed more like her old self. She looked fresh, reasonably awake, clean (thank God!), and almost happy. I could still see sadness in her eyes; I rather thought it that would be in all our eyes for a long time, but at least I did not see the desperation there anymore. Amy, Victoria and I had breakfast together, a rare treat, except lately when Victoria was in town for unpleasant reasons. Victoria told Amy she was going back to work today. She seemed worried about how Amy was going to take it. Amy smiled and had her fun.
"So, does this mean you've forgiven me for decking Daddy? You trust me to be around him alone?" She cocked an eyebrow in mock severity.
Amy's sense of humor takes a little getting used to, and Victoria is not around as often as I am. Besides, who would have expected humor out of the Wicked Bitch of the West that we had seen over the last two weeks?
"Oh, honey it's just that Daddy is special to me too and I don't want him to get hurt. I know he wouldn't defend himself ... Oh, you! You're teasing me, aren't you?" Victoria said accusingly.
Amy giggled, a decidedly welcome sound, especially of late. "I'm sorry, Mom. I just couldn't resist. I get Daddy so often; I have to get you when I can."
"Well, I was thinking of forgiving you, but because of that, I think I will hold a grudge a little longer ... until you prove yourself, little lady!"
Amy's face fell. "Mom, I know..."
Victoria's face beamed. "Ha! I got you too! It's ok, Amy. I could never hold a grudge against you. Your Dad would never let me, even if I wanted to. You're his favorite, you know."
Victoria suddenly became serious as she saw the look on Amy's face and realized what she had said. "Oh, Amy! I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking!"
Amy smiled weakly. "It's ok, Mom. She's unlikely to be someone we're ever going to forget. We have to just act normal and deal with the memories as they come."
They hugged each other and Victoria headed for the airport.
I had been watching Amy as she bantered with her Mom, trying to get a feel for how she was feeling, and which Amy we were seeing today. Now we were alone together.
"So, how are you feeling, Amy? Really." I asked softly.
She came over and hugged me, burying her face in my shirt.
"How am I feeling? Really? Tired. Washed out. Embarrassed. Ashamed at what I put you guys through. Sad - I miss Cindi. Not as lonely as before. I think Katie is going to be a good friend. Nervous about going back to school and watching everyone dance around me, not knowing what to say. I don't even know what I want them to say. Nervous about how I am going to react. Will I blow up and become Amy the Hun again when someone gets up the courage to say something? Will it be 'God help the first idiot that says something stupid'?
"Look what I did to you this weekend; you were trying to help and I didn't even mean to hit you. Am I going to become like Mom where certain things set me off? Something happened to her in her past to make her that way, you know. I know it's useful to her in her job to be able to turn it on and off, but she doesn't seem to be able to control it in certain situations outside of that. I think the talk with Katie helped me a lot. I don't know, Daddy. This is uncharted waters for all of us. And I haven't talked this much in a long time. My mouth is dry."
I smiled. She was still on this kick of the 'talk with Katie'. The girl was desperate because of an empty place in her mind that could never be filled, and suddenly, with a six-hour talk, that fear was gone and everything was ok? Maybe in some sappy erotic internet story on SOL or something, but I didn't believe it. I had missed too many clues in the past and it had cost Amy dearly; I was not falling for this one until I was sure. Time to do some research. However, something else she said interested me more now.
"Amy, you mentioned something about your Mom's job. Why would that be useful as a computer troubleshooter?"
Amy looked back at me silently, giving me that classic Amy 'Who is this stupid two headed alien and what has he done with my Dad' look. Oh well, it was worth a try. I guess I was going to have to be more direct.
"Amy, do you know what Mom's job really is?"
Eye roll. 'How stupid do you think I am?' look. Yep. She was definitely recovering. "Of course, don't you?"
"Um ... actually, no, I don't. I have made some guesses, but they are just that. So, how can you know and I don't?"
"Oops. I'm sorry, Daddy, I was just kidding you when I said that. I assumed you knew or I wouldn't have teased you like that. I'm sorry."
"So, tell me. What is it? And how do you know?"
"I'm sorry, Daddy, I can't tell you. I promised Mommy I would never tell anyone. She specifically included you in that promise. You will just have to figure it out for yourself as I did. However, you might not want to. I still feel bad about the look on her face when I told her what I knew. She really doesn't want us to know, and she really has a good reason for keeping it secret. Don't figure it out unless you're prepared to make her very sad. I think she's afraid if you knew, you wouldn't love her anymore. She doesn't see what I can see, that that could never happen."
Certifiable genius. What was she going to be like when she grew up and became really smart?
I took Amy to school. She seemed to be handling it well as I dropped her off and her friends surrounded her. I hoped she had a good day. She deserved some good for a change; she'd had a rough couple of months. Not as rough as some people, but ... I pushed the sadness away and headed to work.
The hospital received no benefit by my finally coming into work. I spent the whole day at on the internet looking up mental connections among twins. What I found was interesting, and scary.
There wasn't a whole lot of hard data out there, but some interesting studies and more interesting theories and "conclusions". The first thing I found interesting was that the mental connection that Amy and Cindi had was variable in expression from case to case and most often found in identical twins, not fraternal twins. Although it was rare, it was rarer in non-identical twins. The mental connection was often stronger than this case; however, it was not unknown for weak cases to get stronger with age. It was extremely rare in non-twins.
Sometimes it bled over into family members. The scary thing was that often one twin did not survive the death of the other twin. We were lucky with Amy, but I did not think it was really luck. She was showing the classic symptoms of those who didn't survive, usually terminating in suicide or wasting away, losing the will to live.
After reading the information, I felt even more strongly that, somehow, Katie had saved our little girl. As I read further, it was clear to me that she did not do it by just talking to her, as Amy claimed! Not that it mattered. I knew in my heart that Katie would never cause harm to Amy; she just wanted to help. I wondered if she was getting something out of it too.
I left work early. I knew everyone there meant well, but I just got tired of dealing with the consolation callers and visitors. I knew I would always remember Cindi, but I wanted it to be at times when I was ready to deal with it, not walking down the hall and suddenly having to go through it all again. I knew I would have to get used to it, but not today.
I walked in the house at the same time as Amy and Katie. Amy looked better than she had in awhile - she and Katie were laughing, joking, and having a good time.
Amy did one of her favorite "get Daddy" things when she saw me behind her. She started telling Katie all about a really steamy sexual relationship she was having with this hot older guy at school, just so I could overhear. We both knew it was untrue, but she knew it made my heart go flip-flop that my little girl was growing up. She would act surprised when she saw me, and stop talking about it. Only problems were, a) she couldn't keep from giggling because she thought it was so darn funny, and b) since she knew little about the practical aspects of sex (make that nothing, I hope!) she would often describe acts that were either physically impossible for normal humans, or at least were not possible by 108 lb, 13 year old teenage girls. Let her have her fun. I'll have mine when she brings home her first boyfriend.
"Hi Daddy! Katie and I are going to make you dinner tonight. Katie's staying for dinner."
I groaned. "Can Katie cook? I hope? I've tasted your cooking!" I'm not stupid. I always say things like that in the living room, because couch pillows are the most likely thing she will pick up in there to throw at me. They hurt much less than other things. Zing! There it came.
"DAD!" she shrieked. "I'm a good cook!" She was, too.
"Yeah, and I'm Napoleon Bonaparte," I muttered. Zing! Another one.
"Sir, is it alright if I stay?" Katie asked shyly. The manners on this girl are unbelievable. I still can't get over a shy Katie. Although she is quiet, she doesn't seem to be shy around anyone else.
"Absolutely not," I stated emphatically. Amy gave me a dirty look. Zing! "Not unless you call me Patrick.
"Katie, you are welcome in this house anytime," I assured her. "It's Amy we're sick of and trying to move out as soon as possible. Say! Do you want to move into her room when we get rid of her?" Zing!
Ok, all the couch pillows were on the floor, I could stop. Katie looked at me strangely, almost with a hopeful look. What was going on there?
"Forget it, Daddy. When I move out, maybe tomorrow, she is going to be my roommate." She gave me her best 'little girl begging daddy' look. "Can I borrow some money for rent?" Then she dissolved into giggles as Katie looked at both of us like we were nuts. Ah yes, my sweet Amy was back. Fortunately, probably thanks to Katie, we did not have pepperoni and sausage pizza with spumoni ice cream for supper.
Victoria called as we were finishing dinner. She would be home in 20 minutes. Amy put her on speakerphone.
"Are you hungry, Mom? Katie and I cooked dinner!"
"Well, maybe if Katie helped ... it's not pizza is it?" she teased.
"MOM! Not you too?" Amy had a huge grin on her face. She is one of the few people I have seen that actually likes to be teased. Katie just looked lost. Amy chattered away to her Mom, ignoring our attempts to tell her she could talk to her live in 20 minutes.
"Ok, Amy, I'm pulling up in front of the house. You can hang up now." Amy sure loves to stretch out a joke. She continued to talk until Victoria, standing right next to her, reached over, took the phone out of her hand, and hung it up. We smiled tolerantly as Amy giggled helplessly. Katie seemed to think it was the funniest thing, too. Teenagers!
Amy decided to go to Rebecca's house later with Katie. She said it would be way too noisy around here to get any studying done, throwing looks at us. Katie looked confused, and then blushed as she realized what Amy was saying.
It looked like Katie was spending the night with us again. She didn't seem in any hurry to go home. That was ok, I liked having her around. I just wondered how long my heart would go flip-flop when I caught her out of the corner of my eye and thought I saw Cindi standing there.
Victoria and I cuddled together on the couch, kissing softly and gently. I stroked her beautiful hair and kissed her neck. God, I had missed her this time. I wanted to spend more time with her; I wanted her around more. She was my wife, my lover, my sweetheart, my soul mate. There could never be another. I had known that since the first week we had dated.
I knew her job was important, both to her, and in the grand scheme of things. I knew I was probably just feeling vulnerable because of Cindi. However, I was afraid for her. I couldn't bear the thought of her getting hurt, or worse. I didn't think "her people" could protect her as they had promised me. They failed in San Francisco. They failed at the fair. They failed in the "car accident".
A thought entered my head unbidden. Had they failed when Amy got sick? Had they failed with Cindi's accident? I did not know, but I was damn well going to find out. If I found out that Amy's sickness or Cindi's death were not accidents, those responsible would wish they were dealing with Victoria. They would find out what my eyes, dark green like Victoria's and Amy's, looked like when I let the monster loose. It would be directed against Victoria's protectors as well as her enemies if I found out they had been involved or negligent in their duties.
I knew I could no longer let the protection of my family rest in the hands of strangers that I didn't trust. I just couldn't leave them out there all by themselves. If "her people" couldn't, or wouldn't, protect them, I would. If they got in the way, they would be sorry and I wouldn't be responsible for what happened.
I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. Many years ago, I walked away from something I didn't think I could do anymore, something I was one of the best in the world at. I think I always knew in the back of my mind, that the day would come when I could no longer live with that decision. That day was now here.
I couldn't ignore the danger my family might be in and live with myself. I wasn't sure I could live with myself anyway if Cindi's death turned out not to be an accident and I had not acted sooner.
I was good at what I did in medicine. In the top three, or better, in the country. I was now going to go back, at least part time, at least for a while, to something I was even better at.
For the best reason in the world. To protect my girls.
However, this time I would make sure it didn't change me into something I did not want to be.
Victoria smiled at me as I laughed aloud. I smiled back at her.
"God, I love you so much!"
She smiled happily. "I love you too. What brought that on? Besides the obvious?" she grinned as she looked at my lap.
"Wait here. I'll be back in a little while."
She looked confused, but folded her hands in her lap and relaxed. I ran into the bathroom, and started to fill the tub with water. I put the bubble bath in and then waited for the tub to fill with hot, almost too hot, water. I ran back to her, grinning like an idiot. She was smiling, looking at me as if I had lost my mind. I took her hands and gently pulled her to her feet. I kissed her, softly and sensually, and I heard her breath catch in her throat. Or was it mine? Ours. I slowly started to undress her, kissing each part of her body as it became exposed. She closed her eyes and shivered. When she was completely naked, looking like the goddess she just had to be, I stood there silently, just watching her, not moving. She finally opened her eyes and looked at me. She tilted her head slightly to the side, as I had seen Amy do so often, and looked thoughtfully at me.
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