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The drive to the storage unit took over an hour. Staring at the fields on the edge of town, Beth couldn’t fathom why Emily would insist on a storage unit so far away from civilization, especially when there were several good ones within fifteen minutes of her home.

“Fries,” she said, and Lily, acting as her copilot, held up the small red fry cup like an offering to the gods. Beth grabbed a few, stuffing them in her mouth carefully to avoid smudging her lipstick. They had grabbed a bite to eat at the edge of town on Lily’s insistence. Beth almost told her no, but suddenly realized how hungry she was. It was as if the intern was a mind reader.

“Are you sure you don’t want any ketchup? Fry sauce? Anything?” Lily held up an open container.

“Rookie move. You don’t want to drip sauce on your blouse. It makes you look unprofessional, and then people stare at your breasts all day, which can be distracting to everyone involved.”

“I think I would rather pack an extra shirt than go without fry sauce.” Lily stuck a pair of fries in the tub, pulling out a large glob of the pink stuff, sticking her tongue out to catch it before it fell. “I would pack an extra set of work clothes for some good fry sauce.”

“You sound like you damn near worship the stuff,” Beth said, grabbing a few more fries.

“It’s a bit awkward to talk about, but my last boyfriend didn’t let me eat what I wanted.” Lily hooked another large blob of the stuff on a thicker fry, her tongue wrapping around the crisp potato skin before pulling it in her mouth. “It was a pretty bad relationship. He was a huge dick, very controlling.”

“How long ago was this?” Beth asked.

“Long enough for me to be in a new relationship. Seriously, do you want any of this?” Lily held up an unopened fry sauce packet.

“Knock yourself out.” Beth watched Lily hook her fingers in the current tin of fry sauce, licking her skin clean. There was something dirty about the way she did it, her tongue making slow, long licks along her digits. It was a terrible thought, but Beth briefly wondered how many dicks Lily had had in her mouth.

“A hundred and forty six,” Lily said. Beth stared straight ahead, suddenly afraid that Lily could somehow read her mind. Several seconds passed in silence, and Lily pointed to the side of the road. “Exit one forty-six, you’re about to miss it!”

“Oh.” Beth swerved her car, jumping across two lanes, someone honking at her in protest. They came to the end of the long exit road, waiting at a red light to turn left. “Is the new relationship good then?”

“We’re still in the beginner’s stage. You know, figuring each other out. Seems like he might actually be a good guy, but I guess I’m a little afraid that I could be wrong. I would hate to get my hopes up only to get burned for it. Wow.” Lily’s eyes settled on the vast expanse of land before them. “Why would anybody want a storage unit in the middle of nowhere?”

“There’s an agricultural town down the road a way. The storage place, I believe, is largely for them. No idea why Emily would get a place out here. She must have gotten a killer deal or something.”

“Could be super valuable stuff maybe? Crimes of opportunity don’t happen when you have to drive an hour to break the lock on a storage unit.” Lily pulled out some papers. “From what I can tell, she paid for the most expensive unit. Climate controlled, anti-pest, you name it. What would you need all that storage for?”

“A comic book collection. I had a client years back who kept all his comics in a space like that. Kind of sad when he died, they quickly became money that his heirs fought over, not a single one of them gave a damn about the golden age of comics.” Beth tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, ignoring the sound of Lily slurping fry sauce straight from the container. At what point did materialism become an unhealthy obsession? She remembered his face, but not his name, the comic collector. He hadn’t visited his comics in over a decade, wanted to keep them in mint condition. But for what? She still remembered handing the check over to his children from the sale of the collection. Not a tear had been spared for their father, and they hadn’t even bothered looking to see if there was something in his collection they would want.

It made her sad, thinking about how people treated their property. If you locked it away to keep it safe, could you ever truly enjoy it?

“Up ahead,” Lily said, pointing at a large concrete wall that seemed to appear as if by magic. The road curved dramatically in places, and they found themselves in front of New Castle Storage Solutions.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Beth muttered, forgetting she had an impressionable intern inside of the car. The front of New Castle had been designed to look like an actual castle. Tiny red flags flew at the top of the buttresses, and the gate was open, ready to accept moving trucks of all sizes. The old signs for the festival were still up, cleverly altered by someone with basic knowledge of paint and a cheap wood burning kit. Beth had forgotten all about the place, yet another memory she never had any need for.

“I kind of like it,” Lily offered, startling Beth out of her reverie. Grabbing her briefcase, Beth got out of the car, followed closely by Lily. They walked along a side path that took them to a side building labeled Captain of the Guard.

A disinterested twenty-something sat in the air conditioned building, his eyes on a set of monitors that revealed that there was a whole lot of nothing going on. In the monitors, Beth saw the parking lot. Except for a few trucks parked near the back, hers was the only one in the lot.

“Can I help you?” He asked, swiveling in his chair. His dangling name tag revealed that his name was Randy, and that he had been with the company since This Morning. Clever, Beth thought.

“Hello, my name is Beth, and I am an estate agent for a Mr. Mike Radley.” Beth handed over her card. “There is a storage unit in the possession of a previous client of mine who passed away. You see, her estate made arrangements to pay for all of her rental fees, and I was wondering if I could get some information from you regarding the potential illegal sale of some of these items.”

Beth realized that Randy was staring at her tits. “Hey, eyes up here.”

“Yeah, you kind of lost me there for a second. Are you some kind of lawyer or something?” Randy asked.

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”

“Yeah, I’m afraid that’s my boss’s department.” Randy’s eyes lit from within, a mischievous grin crossing his lips. “You’re gonna have to speak to him.”

“Where is he?” Beth asked.

“He’s on a cruise with his wife. He’ll be back in a couple of weeks.”

“I don’t have a couple of weeks,” Beth told him, narrowing her eyes.

“Yeah, well I’m not risking my job over it.” Randy turned his attention back to the monitors.

“How about if I get the cops involved?” Beth threatened. “I do have a legal right to my clients records.”

Randy slid his phone toward her. “His name is Buttweasel in my contacts, but you should call the sheriff Eric. Feel free to call him; I haven’t seen him since 4th of July when we had dinner at grandma’s house.”

Beth stared at the phone, clenching her hands. She wanted to drag Randy across the counter, but didn’t feel like getting arrested by a guy who went by the nickname Buttweasel. Lily’s hand calmly gripped Beth’s shoulder.

“Why don’t you head outside, I’ll see what I can do,” Lily told her, winking. Beth rolled her eyes, storming out of the office to wait in the yard.

“How are you feeling?” Zel looked back at Mike over her shoulder. Mike had stumbled again, placing his full weight on her withers. He stood still for a few moments, sucking in deep breaths.

“Kinda shitty,” he admitted. Already, he had a strong urge to ask her for more of that recovery potion. “I’ll be fine for a few minutes, and then my body just wants to give out.”

“That’s your cells going through a refractory period,” Zel explained. “Since your body is regenerating so rapidly, you’ll get hit with brief periods of time where the energy in your body isn’t converting fast enough.” She stuck her hand in one of the many bags she had strapped to her body. “You are burning fat to replace what you have lost, but you don’t really have all that much fat to lose. Eat this.” She stuck a thick block into his hand.

“What is this?” Mike asked.

“Energy bar. I keep a stash of these on hand for emergencies. You should eat half of it now, that should help with the fatigue.”

Mike inspected the energy bar. It looked like it had been cobbled together from mud and grass. “What is in this?”

“Only the good stuff. I’ve been in this forest for several years now, and I had to make do. A small bag of these provide enough nutrition to get through a couple weeks of winter, no problem.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Mike sniffed the bar. It smelled faintly of oatmeal. He bit into it, expecting to taste honey, oats, maybe even something nutty. Instead, it tasted like the inside of a lawn mower bag.

“Yeah, it’s an acquired taste. Better than starving to death.” Zel handed him a water skin. “It’s better to wash it down right away. The aftertaste is kinda gross.”

“Geez.” Mike choked down half the bar, then sucked greedily at the water skin. The flavor quickly left his mouth, and the bar sat like a brick in his gut. “Couple weeks of this stuff?”

“Only once. The greenhouse is supposed to be like springtime year round, but there was a weird period a couple years back where a brutal winter blew through.” Zel took the water skin back, slinging it over her shoulder. “Caught me off guard, and I had to go find shelter deep in the forest. Not a lot of caves built for people of my stature.”

“Indeed.” Mike stuffed the bar in his pocket, taking another minute to rest against Zel. The weakness soon passed, and he stepped away, his legs protesting. He did a quick stretch, easing the tension in his limbs.

“Little bit better?” Zel asked.

“Some.” He gave Zel an affectionate pat on the back, then immediately regretted it. He didn’t know her that well, and was grateful when she said nothing. Zel guided him through some of the thicker vegetation, her lower half easily clearing a path for him to follow. Shoving aside a large cluster of vines, he found himself back in the clearing with the Mandragora plant.

“Watch out for the pods,” Mike warned, giving them a wide berth.

“Oh, you don’t have to tell me twice,” Zel informed him. “I was dumb enough once to try and harvest the pollen. Pod burst all over me and I had to run away before the tentacles could grab me. Let’s just say that there’s a tree not too far from here that I can’t even look at anymore without blushing.”

Mike nodded his head, gazing warily at the pods. Already, they were beginning to wilt, their purpose finally served. “So what’s going to happen to the Mandragora?”

“I imagine it will hibernate for a bit. It takes a ton of energy to build a vessel for fertilizing, and now that it’s reproduced, it will probably sleep for some time.” Zel stepped over a clump of vines that had curled around each other, forming a noose. “I think this is what you are looking for?”

Mike walked to where she stood. The hilt of the dagger reflected the sinking sun’s light, its shadow like a sundial on the smooth stone beneath it. The blade was so sharp that it had easily embedded itself in the stone. Mike wondered how far the blade would have sunk without the metal of the hilt to slow its descent.

“Are you going to take it?” Zel asked. Mike realized that he had been staring a the knife for some time.

“Yeah.” Wrapping his fingers around the hilt, he gave it an experimental tug, expecting some resistance. The blade slid free, its dark edges glinting dangerously in the light. Holding the knife, he realized he had nowhere to put it. Shoving it casually in a pocket would end in disaster at best, and Mike didn’t want to trip and impale himself.

“Here.” Zel handed him a strip of leather. Mike carefully wrapped the leather around the blade, marveling at how quickly it bit into the tough fabric. Zel handed him a small sack to stuff the dagger into. He pulled the drawstrings tight, cinching the bag shut. He hefted it carefully, satisfied that the knife wouldn’t suddenly slide through the edges.

“Thanks,” he told her, using the strings to tie it through his belt.

They walked largely in silence, Mike still stumbling on occasion. Zel’s hooves pounded a steady rhythm into the dirt, luring him into a partial trance. He wondered how mad everyone would be when he got back, hours later than his expected return. It wouldn’t surprise him to see Abella circling overhead any moment, or to spot Cecilia’s glowing form in the shadows.

Tink would probably bite him for making her worry.

Worst of all, he was strangely obsessed with what Sofia would say. It was really bugging him that she didn’t immediately like him. Then again, Cecilia had been the same way at first. He wondered what he could do to bridge the gap, prove that he was worth getting to know.

“Shit,” Mike swore, stopping in his tracks.

“What’s wrong?” Zel asked.

“I should have asked Sofia about the Grimoire.” Sarah had been obsessed with it, a magical book of great power. It made sense to Mike that such a thing would exist in the Library, and he had forgotten to even mention it. There had been too much on his mind, there was always too much on his mind.

“Who’s Sofia?” Zel asked. She had turned around, staring at him from the middle of the path.

“She’s a cyclops who watches over the Library. You haven’t met her?”

Zel’s eyes fell to the ground, her left front hoof pawing softly at the hard soil. “Um, no. Not exactly. I guess there’s something I should tell you.”

Fuck, Mike thought. “What is it?”

“I’ve never actually been in the house,” she said. “I only met Emily the one time, about ten years ago.”

“Wait, you only met her? You didn’t live with her?” Mike appraised the centaur. Did she work for the Society? He was suddenly aware of how tightly he gripped the bag in his hand.

Zel bit her lower lip. “No. We were only visiting.”

“Then why are you still here?” Mike asked. “As far as I know, there’s only one way in.”

“We never left. My aunt and I came here in the guise of academic pursuits through a magical portal. My aunt stole some magic from our tribe to get us here, and she convinced Emily that we only needed some plants from the greenhouse. Emily was really nice, and told us to take what we needed. However, that was a lie.” Zel’s tail twitched, slapping her rump. “We were refugees is the actual truth. My aunt was protecting me from a forced marriage to the chief’s son. I don’t know that you’d understand it even if I explained, but my aunt left me here to keep me safe from him.”

“Why did your aunt leave?” Mike asked. “Shouldn’t she have stayed to protect you?”

“Because she knew they would keep looking for her. She went somewhere else, leaving a trail for them to follow. I’ve been out here for nearly a decade, living in secret.” Zel turned around, looking away from Mike. “It’s been unimaginably lonely. I used the healer arts to survive, and further my studies, but it isn’t enough. I was really hoping that-”

“You could move in? Sure.” Mike walked by her side, taking Zel’s hand in his own. “We might need to figure a few things out, but as long as you don’t cause any problems with the others, why the hell not?”

“Really? Just like that?” He could see it now, a spark of hope in her dark eyes.

Mike shrugged. “Seems to me that the house is home to plenty of things that don’t have homes of their own. I’m not certain if there’s a rule or a limit to it. We can check with Naia, but as long as she approves, you don’t have to stay out here in the woods all the time.”

“Oh Mike, thank you!” Zel wrapped her arms around him, pulling him in for a tight embrace. Mike’s face was pinned directly between her breasts, and he was suddenly aware of how full and warm they felt.

“I cah breef.” Mike tapped Zel on the elbow after several heavenly seconds passed.

“Oh, sorry!” Zel released him. Mike took a deep breath, grateful for the influx of oxygen. “You have no idea how happy this makes me.”

“On some level, I think I do.” Mike winked at her and continued up the path, the centaur following close behind. He made it only a few more steps before his legs fell out from beneath him. This time, Zel wasn’t close enough to catch him, and he tumbled, falling off the trail and into a bush. The branches of the bush gave, dumping him onto the soft, wet ground beneath it. Mike tried pushing himself back up, but his fingers passed uselessly through its branches and into the mud beneath.

“Here, let me help.” Zel grabbed his wrist, pulling him out of the bush. “Ah shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked.

“You’re covered in Dragon’s Breath.” Zel flicked a bright red chunk of pollen off of Mike’s arm. “We need to get you washed off as soon as possible.”

“Why? Am I going to catch on fire or something?” Mike shook his head, watching the red dust fall free.

“No, stop!” The crimson pollen blew across the gap between them, settling on Zel. “Shit!”

“I’m sorry.” Mike tried to brush the pollen off of her bare stomach, streaking it across her skin instead.

“Stop!” Zel grabbed his wrists. “Don’t touch it!”

“Okay, but I...” The thought fled his mind, suddenly distracted by the burning sensation that was coursing along his arm. He tried to rub his arm, but Zel caught his other hand. It suddenly occurred to him how strong she was.

“Don’t touch it, whatever you do.” Zel’s eyes flashed with intensity. “The more you scratch or rub it in, the worse it will burn.”

“Like poison ivy?”

“Poison ivy will make you itch. Dragon’s Breath will make you peel your own skin off to make the burning stop.” Looking around, Zel shook her head. “I don’t have a choice, we both need to clean this off as soon as possible. There’s a place nearby, but on foot it will take us too long to get there. Climb on my back.”

“Wait, what?”

Zel rolled her eyes. “It isn’t like anybody will see us do it, if that’s what you’re worried about. I don’t feel like peeling my own skin off today, so I’m going with or without you. I can run way faster than you can.”

“Um, yeah, okay.” He had never been on a horse before, and he didn’t know the protocol for mounting a centaur, but Lily knelt and impatiently yanked him onto her back. Once he was situated, she grabbed his wrists and wrapped them around her waist.

“Do not start scratching,” she warned. Clutching tightly to Mike’s arm, her whole body surged forward. Mike held on for dear life, listening to her hooves pound the dirt of the trail beneath them, doing his best to ignore the burning sensation that was creeping its way along his arms.

Beth stood outside of the office, tapping her foot impatiently. She was already going through the options in her mind, ways she could ruin the bastard’s day, how she could force the owners to disclose sales. She highly doubted that the information was lost, and the idea of returning to the office with the news that she couldn’t even access the site really pissed her off. Even with an incompetent lawyer on their side, the storage company could easily impede progress for weeks.

Movement in the window, and Lily walked out with a large grin on her face and a few sheets of paper.

“As commanded,” she said, handing over the forms. “Auction report is fairly useless, the buyer paid cash. I did, however, get a copy of the original inventory and the key to get in. We can see what’s missing if you don’t mind a little legwork.”

“How did you get this?” Beth asked. “He seemed adamant that he wasn’t going to give us anything.”

Lily winked. “I have my ways. Turns out he went to school with my cousin, had a big crush on her. Ipromised I would bring him up at the next family reunion. C’mon, let’s go.” Her hips swaying, she walked away, her eyes on a small map in her hands.

Beth looked back at the office. “Doesn’t he have to come with us?”

“He’s Facebook stalking my cousin now. Confirming that she’s still single.”

Following Lily, Beth looked back. The guy was slumped forward at his desk, his nose practically on the screen. “Must be pretty desperate,” Beth said.

“Can confirm. Our unit is toward the middle.” The inside of Castle Storage was a small maze of metal storage units, but they ended up at a small building with glass doors. Stepping inside, Beth could feel the temperature immediately drop. The thermostat by the door stated that it was 72 degrees with a humidity of 0%.

“I feel like this building alone is worth more than the castle.” Lily ran her fingers along the stark white concrete walls. The marble floor looked like it had been recently polished, the reflected light of the skylights above scattering an eerie glow across the floor.

“Probably is.” Beth checked the room number they wanted. “The castle was built in the 70’s. Up until 2004, this place was where the Renaissance Festival used to set up shop. Whole thing fell apart when the guy who owned the land murdered his wife, and a land dispute started between his heirs that lasted a few years. The Festival took their business elsewhere and this parcel got picked up pretty cheap. I just didn’t know it had become the world’s weirdest storage facility.” Turning a corner down the long hall, Beth saw the large door at the end. There were no other rooms in sight. “My parents used to take me when I was little. Had my first drumstick just inside the main entrance. I had forgotten all about this place, actually.”

“I find the Renaissance to be far too romanticized for my taste.” Lily stopped at the door, handing the key to Beth. “It’s like looking at a piece of shit five hundred years later and calling it a candy bar.”

“Not a fan?” Beth asked, kneeling to slide the key into the lock.

“I was a history major for a bit. I can assure you it wasn’t all tits and turkey legs.” Lily crossed her arms. “I’m a little jaded though.”

“Your last boyfriend?” Beth asked, removing the lock.

“Yeah. You can say he was very obsessed with the Dark Ages.”

“Sounds like a real winner.” Beth lifted the cold metal door. The space inside was nowhere near as disorganized as she expected it to be. A large pallet in the middle of the room lifted the belongings off the floor.

“Looks like this will be easier than originally thought,” Lily said stepping into the room. Boxes were stacked nicely in rows, allowing the two of them to walk between them with little trouble.

“This could take us hours to inventory. You realize that, right?”

“Maybe not,” Lily replied, pointing to a box. Beth saw that a sheet of paper had been carefully taped to the top. It was a list of contents.

“Emily was very organized,” Beth said, grateful to see the familiar scrawl on the paper. “For now, we can assume that the boxes haven’t been opened, so it’s just a matter of going through the original list and checking stuff off.”

“Let’s get started then.” Lily pulled her hair back into a ponytail. “I’ll read off the lists if you’ll cross them off.”

Beth nodded, hiding her smile. Lily was quickly proving to be the best intern ever.

Zel made phenomenal time, the cliffs appearing just ahead. A series of waterfalls cascaded down the mushroom-shaped rocks, pooling into a large basin at the bottom. Sliding to a halt, Zel practically ripped Mike off of her back, her arms shaking.

“Get in and wash it off,” she commanded, stripping off her green tunic. Mike didn’t bother arguing-he was already half naked, the urge to scratch driving him out of his mind. Zel had held his hands in place the entire ride, which had proven effective because all he wanted to do was make the burning stop. The Dragon’s Breath had worked its way inside of his clothes, and onto his chest. Shaking off his outer garments, he threw himself into the pool of water.

Relief was immediate. The Dragon’s Breath reacted violently with the water, jumping free of his skin and skidding across the top, steam hissing in every direction. Mike held his breath and dove below, working his fingers through his hair. He could hear the hiss of the pollen over the constant pounding of the waterfall, a sound similar to meat in a skillet.

The surface of the water exploded, a large shape plunging into the depths. Mike surfaced, marveling at the large ripples bouncing off the shore. Seconds later, Zel surfaced, her hair plastered against her head.

“The Dragon’s Breath comes off pretty quickly,” Mike said, watching tiny wisps of steam rise off the surface of the water.

“Not quite.” Zel lifted her arm to reveal a few red streaks along her forearms. “The top layer comes off pretty quickly, but the bottom layer sticks.” She held up a small cloth. “You need to make sure you scrub it off.”

“Yeah I can—” Mike’s head sank below the water, his limbs going weak beneath him. The bottom was only eight feet deep, but he no longer had the strength in his body. He desperately held onto what little breath he had left, hoping that Zel would realize what had happened. Opening his eyes, he saw her awkward approach, her feet just out of reach of the bottom. She was able to shove him into shallower water, pulling his head above the surface. Mike sucked in air, suddenly aware that his face was once again pinned between her breasts.

“You just can’t help it, can you?” Zel moved closer to the shore, easily holding him up.

“Apparently not.” Mike sighed. “Thanks for saving me.”

“I think letting you drown would make a terrible impression on my new roommates.” Zel helped Mike stand, his strength slowly returning. He held onto her arms, his legs wobbling beneath him.

“You could say that.” Mike stepped away from Zel, suddenly very aware of her. The nipples on both of her breasts were very hard, standing at attention like tiny soldiers. Her hair was plastered against her face and neck, trailing down between her breasts where it clung to her skin. The water obscured her non-human half, and she suddenly appeared more human than ever before.

“Here.” Zel handed him the rag. “Will you make sure I got it all off my skin?”

“Um, yeah.” Taking the rag, he swallowed hard when she lifted her arms, causing her breasts to lift. Using the rag, he scrubbed away at her arms, the red stains fizzing away while he worked them. Zel’s skin turned pink in places, the coarse rag rubbing away the top layer of skin. “How come it doesn’t burn and itch when I’m in the water?” He asked.

“The idea behind Dragon’s Breath is that even when you think you’ve gotten it off, it burrows beneath your skin. Water mitigates the itching effect, but when you dry off, you end up scratching your skin, driving it deeper and deeper until you run out.” Zel turned in the water, revealing her horse rump. “It won’t stick to my fur, but you should still check.”

“Uh...” Mike ran his fingers along the powerful muscles of her backside. “Is it okay that I’m touching you like this?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Zel asked, but Mike noticed that she wouldn’t look at him. He inspected her backside, noticing a tiny red spot about a foot behind her waist, where he had ridden her. He scrubbed the powder off, watching it dissolve in the water. She lifted her hair, and he spotted some on her back. He scrubbed that off too.

“Okay, now your turn.” Zel took the rag from him and went to work. Unfortunately, Mike weighed far less than she did, and he began to bob back and forth in the water. Zel held onto him with one hand while scrubbing with the other, her wet breasts pushing against him. They moved into shallower water as she progressed, gradually exposing his stomach and waist. She found somewhere deep to stand, her breasts bobbing in the water like oversized apples, her nipples periodically breaking the surface to say hello as she washed the remaining dust off of him.

“Uh...” Mike didn’t know what to say when his erection broke the surface of the water. For a couple of minutes, Zel didn’t even notice. However, she moved in close to scrape the rest of a scarlet streak off his hip, and her left breast bounced off of the head of his cock.

“Hmm?” Zel backed up to see what had touched her. It took several seconds for it to sink in, her cheeks slowly growing pink in the process. She stood, her arms out to her sides, frozen in place.

“Uh, yeah, sorry about that.” Mike gave his dick a little push to hide it below the surface of the water. Instead, it popped back up, splashing a small spray of water across Zel’s chest.

“I’ve never seen a human penis before,” Zel said, her voice close to a whisper.

“Oh. Well, this is what it looks like.”

“It’s a lot smaller than a centaur’s penis.”

“You don’t say?” Mike slowly crouched in the water, his cheeks burning.

“Wait. Can I see it?” Zel’s cheeks were still pink, but he could see the spark of curiosity in her eyes.

“Well, I guess so.” Mike stood again, his cock displaying itself proudly.

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“Did you have a good nap?” The voice was cold, snapping Mike out of his slumber. Tink’s arms clutched him tightly, and he pushed the blankets off of his head, staring at the dark figure in his room. He reached out to touch the lamp, warm light bathing the angry figure in the doorway. She stood with her arms crossed and a messenger bag slung over her shoulder. “Uh ... hi Beth.” Mike slid sideways out of the blankets. “So, uh, I’m sure you have some questions.” Sitting up, Mike tried to keep...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 11 Nine of Wands

Mike wasn’t sure what he expected to see once inside the tower, but it certainly wasn’t this. What he had thought was the entrance to the tower was in fact an outer wall. A large courtyard full of flowers and creeper vines would have been impressive enough, but the sheer number of butterflies, bees, and even birds had him staring in awe. An entire ecosystem had been formed inside these walls, complete with a small waterfall that flowed out of the cliff itself and fed into an irrigation...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 12 Shocking Developments

Mike stared at the piece of paper in front of him, then looked up. Jenny stood on the other side of the paper, holding a large pencil in both hands. She was tapping her foot impatiently. He sighed. “How about W?” Jenny drew the last leg on the hanging stick figure, then drew an X over each of his eyes. He heard a distant cackle come from all around the room, and she dropped her pencil. He scrutinized the puzzle before him and then looked at her. Somehow, despite guessing all the vowels,...

1 year ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 13 Purgatory

The gray skies of the Underworld did little to improve Mike’s mood, and the occasional wail from the house made his stomach sour. Yet he sat quietly as Yuki told Amymone about how she had escaped from her tower. “ ... and after we sent the Society packing, Mike forgave me for trying to kill him.” Her tale done, Yuki put her hands in her lap. “And so I live in the house again. It’s really weird that nobody remembers me, but I’m hoping to try and rebuild those relationships. It’s frustrating,...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 2 The Library

Mike held the small sledgehammer in both hands, dubious that he would be able to strike another living being with it, much less a minotaur. Still, it was better than nothing, which made him feel a little bit better. Mike had debated purchasing a gun, but he knew next to nothing about them other than to point the long, skinny end at stuff you wanted to kill. His lack of education aside, Naia had warned him against such a purchase for the sole reason that she had no idea what other creatures...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 3 Girl of My Dreams

Mike yawned, covering his mouth, then set his book down on the cart. It was dangerously full, and he knew that Sofia would ream him out if he just kept cramming books onto it. “Can you take this to the platform?” he asked Death. “Yes I can, Mike Radley.” The grim reaper grabbed the cart with bony hands and pushed it down the corridor, the wheels squeaking softly. Mike rubbed his eyes and yawned again, then checked his phone. He had no signal in the Library, but all he wanted was to see the...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 16 Day of the Dead

Dana was upstairs when she heard the front door explode. Quetzalli emerged from her bedroom with a concerned look on her face, and the two of them rushed to the top of the stairs to look below. There was a flash of light, followed by a scream from Beth. Quetzalli was already heading for the stairs when a man in a hoodie pointed his wand up at her and hissed something under his breath. Dana shoved Quetzalli out of the way in time to catch the brunt of the magic, and the shockwave carried both...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 12 The Coming Storm

Kali’s fists clenched and unclenched in the back of the town car. Daryl was kneeling on the floor in front of her, contemplating the large patch of skin that had been blasted off the side of her ribs. He gave it a gentle tug, making Kali wince. “You always impress me,” Daryl said, pulling a scalpel from the small kit on the floor. “Anyone else would have passed out from the pain.” “I don’t feel pain.” Her eyes bulged from her head, many of the veins burst from the lightning blast. Daryl...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 5 Firing Squad

“Ow, fuck!” Mike winced as Naia inspected the large bruise forming above his hip bone where Abella had squeezed him with her stony thighs. The Mandragora plant had actually injured him less than the gargoyle had, surprisingly enough. Save for some scrapes on his hands (well, and not being eaten), he was fine. “Yeah, that will sting for a while.” Naia placed a kiss on it. “You had me so worried! I’ve never seen the Mandragora do that before. You’re going to need to feed it pretty...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 15 Samhain

Mike sat with Naia on the edge of the fountain, their arms wrapped around each other. He took in her scent, which was reminiscent of rain and the forest floor. When she finally released him, she had a scowl fixed on her face. “You had better come back alive,” she told him. “Or I will be very cross with you.” “Don’t worry. I’m going to be very careful. If things start to go south before I get there, I’ll come back and try again next year.” Truthfully, he hoped that wasn’t the case. How many...

1 year ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 5 Naughty Devils

Beth stepped out of the secret tunnel into the center of the Labyrinth, her shoe catching a rock and sending it skittering across the cold stone. Up above, a large gemstone shone like a tiny star, warming the entire room to a comfortable temperature. Large tables were covered in different magical items in various states of disrepair, and rats moved around in the shadows, carrying what looked like rocks of different sizes. Ratu was leaning over a stack of books, her kimono hanging open and...

1 year ago
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Horny McReds castle

This is not a true story just fiction. It all started about 20 years ago when ten school girls met for the first time (they were all in high school aged 11) the ten girls names were Sue, Sam, Sarah, Kelly, Kat, Alison, Amanda, Clare, Hailey and Rachel and since then they all went to the same college and university. They have been friends ever since even when 5 of them got married, it was coming up to their 21 anniversary of their friendship, they decided to go to a castle in Scotland for a...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 17 Battlegrounds

The technicolor clouds of the Dreamscape parted as Mike fell through them, and he flipped himself over in an attempt to finally stick the landing on the beach. For a moment, he thought he had it, but at the last second his feet swung out from under him and he slammed into the ground hard enough that the beach crumbled beneath him. He fought to stay above the flowing sand that rushed in to fill the gap, and was busy pinwheeling his arms when a golden ray of light broke through the sky above to...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 9 Getting a Head

Beth scowled at the water. She was sitting on the shore of the Labyrinth’s circular river, watching it rush past. Her knees were pulled against her chest beneath a powder blue skirt, and she tossed another rock into the cold water. It disappeared with a small splash, and Asterion lifted his head from his position next to her to see what had happened. “Is everything okay?” he asked. She rolled her eyes, but didn’t look at the minotaur. “Yeah, it’s fine.” In truth, it wasn’t. Ever since her...

1 year ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 10 Finding the Center

“ ... and that brings me to here.” Dana sat on the edge of the fountain, her chin in her hands. She wondered if she should feel more upset, regaling the others with her tale. Tears were beyond her ability. The strange numbness of her body applied even more so to her eyes. She could no longer feel them, and it was taking effort to remember to blink. “So if I don’t deliver Mike or whatever special treasure the house hides, he will leave me like this.” Naia, Cecilia, and Zel looked at each...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 9 Nightmares and Dreamscapes

His soul floated, hiding just beneath his skin, dreading the moment that his eyes would open, streaming reality in High Definition through his very being. It wasn’t that he was afraid to face the morning, but rather that he was afraid of how much pain he would be in upon awakening. The morning before, his whole being had been in agony. Between fucking Jenny out of Beth and then carrying Beth home, he wondered if his body would decide to be tired or sore instead. How does a body decide how...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 4

Stirring Memories The group was huddled on the floor, staring at the mock map Mike had made of the hallway. He had used his knife to carve wooden blocks from the still flopping dresser, lying the pieces end to end. The smaller ones had already stopped shaking, and the larger ones were weakening. Cecilia hovered overhead, and Carmina stood amongst the blocks. Carmina had gone first, flying along the ceiling and then back again. Cecilia had become invisible, traversing the same distance. The...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 6 A Series of Unfortunate Events

Kali stood in the front yard, her dark eyes focused on the Radley house. She could see tell-tale signs of the Geas all around her like a giant, magical bubble that shifted away from her when she tried to pop it. She had been fascinated by the spell ever since she had heard about it, but had been warned away from trying to mess with it. While Emily was alive, any attempt to come near the house had ended in death for Society members after the fiasco with Garrett. After Emily had died, she and...

1 year ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 15 The Devil

Yuki sat on the porch swing, staring out at the front yard with a cup of tea in her hands. The debris from the magic storm was strewn across the grounds, making the land look like a small junkyard. Somehow, it served as a perfect metaphor for her life right now, a giant mess with nobody to help clean it up. She took a sip of tea, letting out a sigh as the hot liquid streamed down her throat. The front door opened behind her and Mike walked out, then sat down next to her on the swing. She...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 7 What About the Creepy Doll

“Actually, there is something.” Mike carefully walked around the furniture in the room, pulling the doll from the mantle of the fireplace. He came back, handing it to her. The docile porcelain features of the doll gazed imploringly into Beth’s eyes, as if it was sad to be leaving. “I don’t care how, just get rid of it.” Beth realized that even she thought the doll was spooky. Staring into its painted eyes, she couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m on it. Have a good night, Mike.” She left him, a...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 6

Big Hands, Big Feet The walk back through the tunnels was uneventful. Back in the throne room, Mike had Beth broker a new agreement with the rats. If they wanted to stay, they could, but they needed to close off any tunnels to the outside world that could be used to get in. The rats were hesitant to deny their request, particularly because Tink kept throwing everyone stink eye while holding her club and Mike held Jenny in his arms like a pet. The doll didn’t reanimate on the way back, but...

1 year ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 11 Unwanted Company

She sat in the black sedan, watching the old, victorian era home across the street. Through the gate and the hedges, she could only make out the upper levels, replete with turrets and large, ornate windows. Inside that home, she knew would find her prey, but one problem remained. Of the many magical enchantments the house had, the most annoying of them all was that you had to be invited. They had bypassed this little detail with the succubus —using Mike’s blood had let them bypass the...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 14 Moonrise

Kisa sat on the roof of the house, her eyes locked on the wrought iron gate at the back of the property line. It had been over a week since Mike had gone through it and returned with the devil dog in tow. Despite his reassurance that Cerberus was no longer a danger to them, all she could picture in her mind was being chased through the misty woods by a fire breathing beast. Memories of her trip into the Underworld from so long ago had rushed in on her like ice water. She had fled from the...

1 year ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 8 The New Girl

“Easy, kisa.” The familiar voice was thick with a Russian accent and elicited both feelings of warmth and sadness. It spoke to her from the void, guiding her back to the world of the living. The darkness peeled away to reveal a small dance studio with wooden floors and large windows overlooking a city. One of the interior walls was a mirror, and in the reflection was a young, black teen who sat on the floor, her face wracked with pain as an older man held her left leg in place while...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 9 Caught in the trap

Water flowed through a crack in the wall. On the other side, Mike could hear the river. Placing his hands against the hard stone, he could feel the vibrations through it. Cupping his hands, he collected a mouthful of water and drank it. It was cold with a slight metallic taste, but Blue had informed him that it was safe enough to drink. “Is it good?” Blue asked from her perch on his shoulder. “It tastes like water,” Mike responded, sucking down huge mouthfuls. Wiping his mouth, he turned...

1 year ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 4 Made of Stone

Mike yawned, the morning light through the white curtains casting a blissful glow on the room. He scratched the back of his neck, his foot kicking the lump near the bottom of his bed. He sat up, leaning forward to give the lump a playful pat. “It’s time to get up, Tink.” Mike watched the lump slide to the edge of the bed, disappearing over the edge with a thud. “Owie,” Tink muttered, standing up holding her bottom. She was wearing a tank top night shirt, one of the things Mike had ordered...

2 years ago
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King of the Castle we want a party in a castle

King of the Castle Copyright Oggbashan September 2016The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons. This is a Halloween fantasy with femdom.Ruritania is the fictional country of Anthony Hope’s novels The Prisoner of Zenda and Rupert of Hentzau. I have used the name Ruritania for this...

1 year ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 13 In the Eye of the Storm

Mike realized his mistake as soon as it happened. Upon walking out the main entrance, they had stopped long enough for Beth to bid farewell to Asterion. The group all stood at the edge of the reflecting pool, their shortcut back to the house. When Beth rejoined them, Tink counted down from three and they all jumped in at the same time. That’s when Mike remembered that the magical shortcut would take them all to the downstairs closet. Not until the water soaked through his shoes did it occur...

2 years ago
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Thrice Haunted Castle

Kwaidan: Yurei-jo San-do A Ghost Story: The Thrice Haunted Castle Dedicated to Lorena, who has no idea, and never will know, that she was the inspiration. Author’s Foreword. If you’ve read and enjoyed the ghost stories related by Lafcadio Hearn, I hope you’ll enjoy this story. Fans of supernatural fiction may also notice some stylistic hints borrowed from M.R. James. ***** One The Merchant There are many beautiful places in Hirasanaka Prefecture of northern Japan and not a few that...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 14 The Magician

They came again in the early hours of the morning, moving silently behind the outer wall. They triggered the wards Yuki had set, causing the kitsune to watch their approach through the window with bated breath. She could see them now, ominous shadows that peered over the wall and then vanished, gathering near the entrance for their next attack. Yuki had spent hours building her defenses back up, her mind and body tired from the effort, hoping to catch some sleep. Now, she watched with eager...

3 years ago
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The devil from Roetteln Castle

After long absence from writing I managed to finish one of my stories. Hope you enjoy it. Please leave comment (good and bad things). Of course it?s a fictional story even if places or persons could be found in real life. The devil from R?tteln Castle Proem The legend says that 500 years ago the farmers killed the Earl of R?tteln Castle. R?tteln Castle is on the beginning of the Black Forest in southern Germany. The Lord who lived in the Castle was called the Devil from R?tteln Castle, because...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 13 The Tower

Mike’s heart pounded in his chest at the sight of the thing. The Jabberwock regarded the small group of people in its master’s home, then opened its mouth to let out a cry that made him think of a pterodactyl on steroids. Jabberwock saliva misted the entire room, and everyone covered their ears to shut out the cry. Daisy bolted, vanishing down the stairs and leaving a glittering trail behind her. Zel made a break for it, and the Jabberwock lunged for her, leaving a bloody gash in her...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 8 La Petite Mort

“Are we ready?” Mike asked. The others nodded, each one at their stations. Tink had tied Beth to a chair which had been placed in the fountain, standing behind her with a knife at the ready. Abella was out of sight, watching from up above in case everything went wrong. She had explicit instructions to do whatever it took to protect the members of the house. Naia stood behind Beth, her lips a crooked smirk. “We are ready.” Cecilia said, standing next to him. Mike took a deep breath, taking...

3 years ago
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Trip to Mushroom Castle

Disclaimer: This story depicts teenage recreational drug use, and only as an ironic yet relevant plot device. If drugs or drug usage scares you or you disagree with it, please read no further. As usual, there is strong sexual language. Fun tip: I wrote this story while high. Trip to Mushroom Castle By Zephyrus Pete boringly marched his usual route home from school, not paying attention to much of anything around him. Not...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 5

Breakdown in Negotiations Mike pulled his shirt on in front of the bathroom mirror, Naia watching him from the tub. He could see the look of concern on her face, knew that the question was coming, and he had no idea how to dodge it. “Are you okay?” He let out a sigh. “No.” “Tell me.” He didn’t want to. He never wanted to talk about it with anybody. Yet, when he turned to face her directly, he remembered that she was the other part of his soul. She completed him in a way he couldn’t quite...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 9

The Fool The railing was smooth to the touch, as if it had been recently polished. She touched a knot in the wood, her fingers caressing the fractured ridges. Closing her eyes, she took in the smell of the place. The rich scent of oil, sawdust, and water from the fountain out back filled her with a swirl of nostalgia, causing her to inhale again, only deeper this time. So many old scents and a few that were new. Behind them all was the faint, faded scent of sunflowers and...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 4 Boxing Match

Sleep came for Mike, but it was far from restful. Unable to properly enter the Dreamscape again, he tossed and turned in his bed, his brain unwilling to let things rest. His first thoughts were on Cecilia. He could see her now, trapped inside a silver cage in the middle of a glen surrounded by waterfalls. Breaking the lock on the cage, he stepped inside—only to have her melt like wax in his arms and slide through holes in the floor. “Cecilia,” he cried out, her name slurring as if spoken in...

1 year ago
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Sarah Carerra 315 The Princess of the Castle

Please email me at AngelJediGirl (at) gmail (dot) com before posting this story to any other site. Posting to a pay site is prohibited. Comments and suggestions are also welcome at the above email address. --- Sarah Carerra Book 3 - Concerto in A- By Megan Campbell (Released: May 21, 2012) Chapter 15 - The Princess of the Castle Sunday afternoon brought me down from the high of the concert when I listened to the Countdown. 'You Can't Hurt Me' fell in the rankings once again,...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 7

Five Minutes Ago “You take me to the nicest places,” Beth said, stepping over a small, mossy rock. The world around them was dark, and the light from their cellphones poorly illuminated the forest floor. A breeze had formed as the cool, night air of Ireland blew through the portal into Mike’s front yard. The portal had been chewed into the inner wall of a crumbling home out in the woods, obviously long forgotten. “I do my best.” He stepped over a large rock and offered his hand when she...

1 year ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 2

Roommate Trouble Beth sat at the large dining room table with a small plate of bacon, some coffee and a large plate with the remnants of a strawberry crepe. She scribbled a few more words on a notepad by her laptop, frowning at the list. “Any luck?” Sofia asked, walking in with her own breakfast. The cyclops took the seat across from Beth. A few of the seats in the formal dining room had been designed for larger people, allowing the cyclops to sit comfortably at the table. As far as Beth...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 11 Painful Memories

Kisa stood in the kitchen and scowled at the pantry door. How many times had she wandered in here and absent-mindedly opened it? At least three times a day, and now that she was here again, she had decided to look through the whole pantry and discover just what it was that she was looking for. Her missing memories really bothered her. She had just assumed that something would come back to her in the last few days, but all she got was static. Vivid images of the old man stirred something up...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 10

Seven of Swords Beth said very little to the minotaur as they climbed the trail to the top of the cliffs. She could tell he wanted to comfort her, but there weren’t words or deeds to make the situation right. Her plan was to speak with Naia and Sofia right away, to see if either of them could offer her any help. There were only a few days to make her decision, and she wouldn’t be able to live with any of her options. She remembered when she was little, her parents started arguing...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 5 Man in the Mirror

Beth tumbled gently to the floor beneath, flipping her body at the last second to land on her feet. Staring up, all she could see were the clouds she had passed through on the way down. She had several red marks on her left arm, each one from a nasty pinch that she gave herself to try and wake up from this strangest of dreams. Now that she was on the ground, she saw that she stood in a beautiful garden with a large marble gazebo in the middle. “How peculiar,” she said, expecting her voice to...

2 years ago
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Basils Castle

BASIL?S CASTLE BASIL?S CASTLE Basil was so depressed?and he was humiliating himself, touching his hard penis while sniffing his wife?s scent in the highball that she?d put down. He?d snaked the glass off the table at the Tunstall?s party while Lindy was talking to that ass Saul Echerman, and then Basil had spirited the drink out to the far end of the Tunstall?s yard. Then, Basil opened his zipper and began touching and pulling his hard dick as he sniffed the scent of Lucinda?s perfume...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 12 Welcome Home

Mike opened his eyes, staring at the waning sunlight through the canopy overhead. Scattered rays were dying, a sign that the sun was sinking toward the skyline, ready to slumber until the break of dawn. The forest was quiet – a complete lack of animals meant that the only sound Mike could hear was the occasional rippling of the leaves as the wind brushed them against one another. Lifting his head, he knew that he needed to get back. Though his slumber had been restless, he had clearly slept...

4 years ago
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Evening At The CastleChapter 16 James Discovers the Castle

About a half hour later, James knocked on my door. As I ushered him inside, he asked if the lunch offer was still open. Richard said, "Certainly, I think the hotel dining room has closed already though so we'll just step down to the local pub and see what they have on special." "An authentic English pub! Sounds wonderful... I've read about them in books. I'm quite a fan of Peter Robinson's mystery novels, by the way, and they describe pubs quite well but I've never actually seen...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 2 A Swing and a Miss

“Whoa!” Mike splashed water everywhere in his haste to get out of the tub. This time, Naia didn’t fight him as he scrambled out into the bathroom, covering up with a towel. She pouted as he slid across the floor, looking for his pants. Seeing that she hadn’t moved from her spot in the tub, Mike felt his heart rate level out, the burst of adrenaline gone. “Who ... what are you?” He asked, trying to keep his eyes off of her breasts. Other than the strange markings on her ribs, her skin was...

3 years ago
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Lord of the Castle

Kathleen hurried up the stone castle steps to his lordship’s chamber’s, her arms full of fresh towels and linens. She knew she only had a few minutes before the banquet in the great hall downstairs was over to allow the drunken guests a chance to sleep off their mead before the stag hunt in the morning. Standing before the large oaken door, she rapped twice to make sure she would not be disturbing anyone then slipped inside to the bed chambers. She had only been in Lord Michael’s private rooms...

3 years ago
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Call This A Castle

Ensign Harry Webb, newly commissioned in the Confederacy Space Navy, paused to look at the vessel docked alongside the space station and silently cursed his luck at being assigned to this pathetic specimen of a ship for his first assignment. Through the viewport the young man could clearly make out the less than sleek lines of the USS Maiden Castle. She was one of the many Castle class corvettes used by the Navy since its introduction to the inhabitants of the planet Earth and the revelation...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 7

The Naga, the Fox and the Wardrobe The door of the wardrobe didn’t move. Puzzled, Mike grabbed the handle even tighter and pulled again, but it still wouldn’t budge. The wardrobe felt like it had been anchored into the wall, the door completely immobile. Frustrated, he tried rattling the door when he realized that he had missed one very important detail. Right below the handle was a small keyhole. “Ugh.” He got ready to kick the wardrobe out of frustration when he remembered that he had a...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 8

The Hanged Man His chest was on fire and he couldn’t move. His limbs were super heavy and he couldn’t feel his legs anymore. Am I dying? Loud thuds like distant thunder beat in his chest and he thought he heard someone saying his name. His head cleared, and it occurred to him that he had looked onto the shores of the afterlife and they had looked nothing like this. A loud scraping sound filled his senses and he was suddenly blinded by a bright light and someone called his name. Oh shit....

3 years ago
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The Castle

Chapter 1Jackie Roberts was in high spirits… it was her daughter’s wedding day and everything had worked out perfectly thus far. The weather had been kind to them… and the service was beautiful. She looked out of the small bedroom window onto the small quadrangle of the mid twelfth century castle where the final photographs were being taken of her stunning daughter and equally striking new son-in-law. The small group of wedding guests was assembled in the grand hall on the other side of the...

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