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The gray skies of the Underworld did little to improve Mike’s mood, and the occasional wail from the house made his stomach sour. Yet he sat quietly as Yuki told Amymone about how she had escaped from her tower.

“ ... and after we sent the Society packing, Mike forgave me for trying to kill him.” Her tale done, Yuki put her hands in her lap. “And so I live in the house again. It’s really weird that nobody remembers me, but I’m hoping to try and rebuild those relationships. It’s frustrating, and more than a little lonely, but I’ll get there.”

“Wow.” Amymone was sitting on the ground with her legs pulled beneath her and her chin on her knees. “That’s incredible, I’m so happy that you survived.”

“So what about you?” Yuki waved her hand around to indicate the Underworld. “I’m more than a little surprised to see you here. I figured you were dead.”

Amymone’s laugh sounded almost like a bark. “Okay, well, after you disappeared, things started getting dark around the house. For the most part, Emily was the same, only she claimed that you had gone away on an important mission. But then I heard rumors from the others about your disappearance and started to wonder if she had left you behind in the world on the other side of my tree. Granted, we couldn’t help but believe her stories, but eventually some of the stuff she did spoke volumes more than the lies she fed us.”

“Like what?” Mike had been quiet, allowing the two of them to catch up, but now he was curious.

“She became obsessed with unlocking the magic in the house. That was something that hadn’t been an issue before. She was also becoming borderline abusive with a couple of the girls in the house, and poor Tink was constantly getting yelled at for little things. It was textbook personality disorder type stuff, and I saw the writing on the wall long before the others. A dryad can never leave her tree, so unlike Naia, I was never able to go inside the house. Well, sometimes Emily would do something on a Monday that would have everybody upset, but then by Wednesday or Thursday, they would have all forgotten about it. She found out how to tamper with memories somehow, and I suspect she was using the geas to do so.”

He shook his head and sighed. “I have my theories, but they don’t change what happened.”

“Yeah, well, for the longest time, she claimed that she was trying to track you down.” She pointed to Yuki. “Told everyone that you had been attacked or whatever. Became obsessed with some old key she found, would disappear into the Library for days. She even started perusing the books down in the Vault, and we all know that’s a huge no-no, but we thought it was to help you, so nobody said anything.”

“There are books in the Vault?” Mike tried to remember if he had seen some on his last trip there, but couldn’t picture any.

“There are supposed to be. Dangerous ones. Anyway, she started asking me uncomfortable questions about my tree. She could use a tree to walk to another one, and had done some trick to open a portal in my tree that went somewhere new.”

He nodded. “I’m familiar with this.”

“Well, one day, a pair of centaurs came through from the other side. They wanted access to the greenhouse, and Emily was so freaked out by the fact that they had just come on over that she didn’t ever notice that only one of them went home.”

Zel. Mike thought about how the centaur had originally come to the house. It had been through Amymone’s tree.

“And so she chopped it down?”

“Oh, and she was insidious about it, too. Blocked off part of the spring so Naia was stuck in the house and told everyone it was movie night. Sent Abella into the greenhouse to check on Sweet Pea because she’d been acting funny recently. Emily popped right on out and started chopping away. I couldn’t even stop her. She used some sort of spell to trap me in place. Told me all about how she was going to have Tink make a lovely wardrobe out my tree while clearly out of her fucking mind.”

“I’m really sorry.” Mike hung his head and took a deep breath. “That must have been awful.”

“Watching yourself be murdered? Yeah, it was.” She shook her head, her long hair shifting along oaken shoulders. “Anyway, you don’t read plenty of mystery novels without knowing what’s about to go down. Long before she killed me, I actually pulled the heart wood out of my tree and hid it. Think of it like the magical core. Over time, my tree would die without it, but Emily was out there with her axe long before my leaves had even wilted.”

“Is that why you’re here?” Yuki asked.

“Yep. My heart wood can go dormant for almost a decade before it needs to be properly planted. I figured Emily was nearing the end of her lifespan and had my fingers crossed that a new Caretaker would arrive and find it. In the meantime, I’m stuck here, waiting to be born anew.”

“Where did you hide your heart wood?” Mike asked.

Amymone smirked. “It’s hard to hide something when you can’t go away from your tree, and I was afraid that Emily would find out and demand to know where it was. So I gave it to the one person who would never say a word.”

Mike and Yuki looked at each other, then back at her.

“Who?” Mike asked.

Amymone’s grin faltered when she realized that they weren’t going to guess. “Why, Sweet Pea, of course! The mandragora can’t talk, and since I can talk to plants, I had her take my heart wood into the greenhouse and hide it with instructions to give it to the new Caretaker.”

“Oh.” Mike frowned. “Um, Sweet Pea is ... gone. She did this thing where she ate a witch, turned her into a plant, and then had me impregnate her or something prior to wandering off to parts unknown. As far as I know, Sweet Pea is ... gone.”

Amymone’s face darkened, and thin lines formed in the bark of her skin. “Oh, please tell me you aren’t making this up.”

“I’m not. I wish I was. But if you have any idea where Sweet Pea hid it, then I could have the centaurs keep their eyes out for it.”

“It’s true, an entire herd of them live in the greenhouse now!” Yuki took Amymone’s hand in her own. “Don’t give up hope!”

“Oh, I gave up hope a long time ago.” The dryad groaned and slumped back on the dry ground beneath her, limbs outstretched. “Never thought Sweet Pea would need to be pollinated so soon. Damn.”

“I’m really sorry.” Mike didn’t know what else to say. “What does your heart wood look like?”

“It’s literally a piece of wood from the middle of my tree.” She stared at the sky, her eyes unblinking. “When I gave it to Sweet Pea, I made it look just like the wood from the jungle, in case it ever got spotted. I very much regret my decision now. I should have just buried it on the other side of the yard.”

Mike said nothing while Yuki tried to comfort her friend. His eyes kept traveling up to the house itself, and he would sometimes see Emily’s face vanish from sight.

“What is this place?” he asked. “I mean, why is there a copy of the house here?”

“Hmm?” Amymone looked up at him. “Oh, right. You’re looking at the house when it’s asleep. When the Caretaker dies, the home slumbers and goes somewhere else. Rather than leave a giant hole in the ground, this house replaces it. That way, if someone breaks in or attempts to do harm, the real home is protected and this place acts as a decoy.”

“How do you know all this? Don’t you sleep when the home does?”

“Nope.” She grinned. “Naia and I take care of the house while it sleeps. She is tied to the fountain, and me to my ... well, anyway, when the house falls asleep, the occupants are carried with it, and Naia stays behind to wait for the new Caretaker. Once she bonds with him or her, this place comes here once more. I actually got stuck here when I died, and when the home slept, I got to haunt the real world for a little bit. Oh, that reminds me!” She turned to Yuki. “Jenny escaped the Vault before the house fell asleep, so she’s probably roaming around and causing trouble. Might want to be a priority when you get back.”

“Already taken care of,” Mike told her. “We’re on good terms now.”

“Seriously?” Amymone looked at him in awe. “This guy is the real deal, isn’t he?”

“Most days,” Yuki said with a smile.

“Jenny did try to kill me, first,” Mike added. “It’s kind of a theme.”

Emily’s wailing pierced the air, and everyone winced.

“So I get why you’re here,” Mike said. “But why is she up there?”

“No idea. That cunt showed up a couple years back and never comes out of her room.” Amymone scowled. “Some days, she’ll just stare at me for hours. I have no idea what that’s about, and she seems to be putting on a special show for you two, because she’s all about her Cecilia impression today.”

Cecilia. Mike realized that plenty of time had passed, and it was about time they got going. “So, do you have any ideas how we can get back?” he asked. “That Cerberus wasn’t very friendly at all.”

“I’ve had no problem with it, but I’m supposed to be here. You, however, are not. Hell’s guardian is actually one of several three-headed dogs in charge of making sure souls don’t just traverse the spiritual plane. It’s not just about Hell, but anywhere connected to here. I suspect that you are on the Cerberus shit-list as long as you are wandering around out there. So no, I don’t know how you can avoid it.” The dryad chewed her lip for a moment, then looked up at the window. “However ... she might.”

Mike looked back up at the bedroom window, then back at Yuki. “Can I tell you how much I hate this?”

“You can tell me about it, but...” Yuki summoned a spear of ice. “I’m about to go up there and find out what happens if you try to kill something that is already dead.”

He nodded, then looked back at the window. The idea of talking to Emily gave him a serious case of the creeps, because he had no idea what she might be capable of. So far, other than wailing in agony, she had done nothing else, but he had learned long ago that he should never assume weakness in anyone or thing he encountered.

“Let’s go together.” He walked toward the back door and opened it. Yuki walked inside, leaving a frosty trail of pawprints on the floor. She held her spear of ice in one hand and a handful of tarot cards in the other.

“Hold up,” he said when they were at the stairs. “She seems content upstairs. I want to do a quick check down here, just to make sure there isn’t anything lying in wait that can trap us.”

She nodded, and gave the stairs a dirty look before they did a sweep of the bottom floor.

The house was different. There were rooms that didn’t exist in his version of the home, and he wasn’t at all surprised that he only remembered them now that he was here in the Underworld. Memories of his first day in the home with Beth giving him a tour of the house came back to him, and he couldn’t help but smile. He had had no idea what he had gotten into, and it was weird to think that he had actually been walking through this place, only to have the real house swap out on him.

Checking the basement was the most nerve wracking. It was dark, and he was convinced something would leap out at them. The only thing that made him jump was the occasional moan that came from above, and when they finally got around to the stairs, he had Yuki take the lead.

Once on the second floor, they checked out the other rooms first. There were extra rooms here, too, and he even recognized some of the creepy dolls that had been there before. He stood for a moment in Beth’s room, then tried to open the passageway to the Labyrinth in her closet.

The process failed. He looked over at Yuki and smiled. “This place is as ordinary as the day I moved in. It’s kind of weird, actually experiencing it again as if it’s the first time. This room is the same, but look out here.” He took her in the hall and showed her the other rooms. “This one is yours, but there’s an extra one next to it. And I guess this is where our mystery door is now, right?” He opened the door to reveal an ordinary bedroom. “I remember them now. I haven’t thought about any of these rooms since that very first night. So now I wonder if this means those rooms exist and are locked away, or if this is just an old house that my home is modeled after.”

“Mm-hmm.” She wasn’t paying any attention to him. Her eyes and ears were focused on the master bedroom. From behind the door, they could hear the sound of a woman crying.

Mike shivered. “Okay, well ... guess it’s time to rip the band-aid off.” He walked down the hall and was about to turn the knob when Yuki shoved him aside.

“Me, first.” Her green eyes were now glowing with energy, as she shoved the door open and stepped inside.

The first thing Mike noticed was how cold it was. He thought it may have been Yuki’s magic, but this was a different kind of cold that felt like the energy was being drained from him. Once they were both inside, there was no sign of Emily.

“Where are you?” Yuki growled, and the hair along her arms and neck stood up. “I know you’re in here, Emily. You may as well come out where we can see you.”

The curtains fluttered about as if caught in a breeze, and Mike noticed that there was a nasty stain on the wooden floor approximately where Emily had died in the real world. It occurred to him that they had never gotten a chance to clean up the stain and replace the wood beneath it.

It also occurred to him that no light seemed to reflect off of the stain. It was just a pool of blackness that sucked the light out of the room.

Yuki sniffed the air and then growled, revealing a pair of nasty fangs.

“What is it?” Mike asked, and then noticed the shadow that was forming along the opposite wall. On his shoulder, he heard Daisy buzzing angrily, and the little fairy popped out and hovered before him.

The shadow stretched and distorted, then Emily stepped through the wall. It was as if she was being transmitted through an old tube television, only the reception was shit, because her image had a bad case of rolling static. After flickering for a few seconds, she settled into place, and her feet hit the floor. Most of the color had been leached from her body with but a few highlights of color scattered along her ethereal form.

However, the thing he really couldn’t take his eyes off of was the giant hole where her right eye should have been. Cylindrical in shape, it went all the way through and allowed him to see the wall behind her. There was no gore—her insides were just more static that flickered about as if she was full of flies.

“Um—” he began, but she opened her mouth and let out a shriek that modulated through several frequencies before she exploded.

Mike grabbed Daisy, and Yuki grabbed Mike’s other hand and pulled him out of the room, but when they made it into the hall, they were now standing in the office.

Emily sat in an ornate wooden chair and held a book in one hand and a pear in the other. She took a bite of the pear and used her pinky to sweep the juice off of her chin back into her mouth.

“What is this?” Mike asked. His voice sounded odd, like it was coming from somewhere else. He let go of Daisy, and she resumed her perch on his collar.

“A memory.” Yuki held onto his hand and pulled him closer to Emily. She swung her icicle like a club, and it passed harmlessly through Emily’s head, but her body flickered like a candle’s flame for just a moment.

“But why?”

Yuki looked back at him, her lips curled into a sneer. “Gee, I don’t know. Let me check my So You’ve Encountered Your Dead Ex in Purgatory, Now What? manual and I’ll get back to you.”

Mike debated sharing his idea for a chapter title, but thought better of it. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m not detecting any danger.”

Her ears twitched, and she swung the icicle again. Nothing changed. “It doesn’t,” she added.

He shrugged and watched. A couple of minutes passed, and just before he was about to speak again, a large, black book fell onto the desk. It looked like the book was bound in leather, and there was a closed eye on the front.

Mike swore he saw the eye open for a moment.

Emily jumped out of her seat, then reached down to pick it up. She surveyed the room, and then there was a crash out in the living room.

“Emily?” It was Yuki’s voice, but it was coming from inside the house. “Jenny got out of the Vault again!

“Shit.” Emily ran out of the room, leaving the book behind on the desk.

Mike was about to follow, but the room filled with smoke, then cleared.

They were now outside at the edge of the fountain, and Emily was busy looking at the book. Naia was singing to a small flock of birds that were bathing in her fountain, and Amymone was across from Emily on the ground, her nose buried in a book of her own.

A spectral hand appeared on Emily’s shoulder. It was made of shadows, and when it squeezed, she sat up straight and looked around.

“Everything okay?” Amymone didn’t even look up from her book.

“Yeah, just a cold chill up my spine is all.” She closed the book and looked into the sky. Her blonde curls draped over her back and shoulders and caught the sun’s light, creating the illusion that she was surrounded in a golden aura. “Say, Amy, I was wondering something.”

“Wait.” Amymone held up one finger while she finished the page she was on. At the end of her fingertip, a large maple leaf uncurled itself, and she tucked it into the book to mark her place. “Okay, what’s up?”

“You ever wonder where a portal from your tree would go?” Emily looked over at the large oak tree that was about twenty feet from the edge of the fountain. “Only special trees can be used as portals, and once they are linked, it’s permanent. But your tree can be any type of tree, right? So, you could probably become a portal tree.”

“And?”

“It’s probably nothing, but ... now I wonder. You and your tree are the same entity, in a way, which means your tree is sentient. It was just a weird idea I had, that maybe your tree could be used to open a portal to somewhere else, like the greenhouse. A place that’s been folded away from the world.”

Amymone bit her lip in contemplation, her dark eyes looking up as if she was trying to access files buried deep inside of her brain. “Huh. You know, I’m not sure. I mean, based on how the tree portals work, the logic makes sense, but you would need to have a pretty clear image of where you were going.”

“I see.” Emily opened the journal once more to look at a picture of a tower that had been drawn inside of it with great detail. “Interesting.”

Yuki’s hand was now crushing Mike’s. Rather than chastise her, he placed his free hand on her wrist and gave it a squeeze.

“Just memories,” he reminded her.

“But why?” Her voice had an edge to it, so he pulled his hand free of hers and wrapped his arm around her. She was cold to the touch, but he held her anyway.

“She’s a restless spirit. She’s trying to show us something.” He really hoped it was important, and that they weren’t just headed to a sticky end. The smoke rolled through again, and he took a deep breath of anticipation. Whereas the memories might be painful for Yuki, he was already getting some answers to questions he didn’t know that he had.

Emily appeared before them, standing in a room he recognized. It was the hidden room in the tower, and a dark figure hovered in the middle of the room. It was the shadow man, and he was holding his hand out to her.

“She will die, you know? They all will die, but the fox means something more to you, doesn’t she?” The shadow’s form was frayed along the edges, as if a single errant thread might cause him to unravel. “I’m offering you experience and knowledge for such a small price.”

“I’m not sure.” Emily’s arms were crossed. “It’s a piece of my soul. What will happen to it?”

“It will be very safe with me, I assure you. It won’t even hurt. It’ll be a part of you that you don’t even realize is missing.” A grin spread across the shadow, which created an opening in his head like a comical stick figure. “As of now, you are destined to fade from this world, never having advanced to the next stage of the game. You are one of the last players, which means you have a chance to win it.”

“I want to know more about this game. I keep having these weird dreams about it, but they never make any sense.”

The shadow nodded. “Every Caretaker’s journey is different, and some of them never once heed the call. And should you win, then you could be looking at the ultimate prize: immortality. Centuries to spend with your beloved, maybe even the power necessary to extend her lifespan as well.”

“Immortality comes at a price. That’s one of the first rules of magic.” Emily had stiffened up, withdrawing from the shadow.

“That is correct. However, this game pre-dates the rules of magic. It creates a loophole, as you would call it.”

Emily bit her lip, then looked at the stairs behind her. Mike imagined that she was picturing Yuki, asleep on their bed and blissfully unaware of what was about to happen next.

“I can feel your love for her. It is a warmth that I crave for myself, but will never know unless you pay the price.” The shadow’s tone had shifted, and he was now pleading. “One small piece is all it will take, and you can have forever with her if you want.”

“I ... I...” While Emily debated her response, Mike felt Yuki tighten her grip on him. He squeezed her back, causing a sob to break free.

“I accept.” Emily held out her hand, and the shadow took it, and a dark tone played that caused ripples to spread across the scene, changing it so that they were now in the Library. Emily was by herself, and was frantically pulling books down from the shelves.

“No, I will not. I will not!” She was shouting at nobody that could be seen, and then her face twisted up and her eyes turned black.

“But if you don’t, you will never be able to save her or the others.” She was speaking again, but her voice was different now, deeper and more threatening. “She would want you to have it, to use its magic to complete your spell.”

“No!” Emily shrieked and grabbed at her face, her hands curled up. It looked like she was about to claw her own eyes out. “I can’t do that to her! I’ve already left her in that tower for so many years, I...”

Her face twisted, and her eyes were dark once again. “What is a few years compared to eternity? All things can be forgiven in time.”

“I won’t, I—”

“Emily?” It was Sofia. She came around the corner of the stacks. “Were you talking to someone?”

“Just ... just myself.” She turned around, and Mike saw the black fade from her eyes. “Did you find anything about the rat king?”

Sofia held out a book. “Yeah, so strange thing really, the rat king is...”

This memory faded as well, and now Emily stood in the hallway of the second floor. Around her, the rats were cowering in fear as she twitched and spasmed, and one of her hands opened up, allowing a shimmering emerald to fall out of it.

“Why ... what was I...” When she looked up, Mike saw that only one of her eyes was black now, and when she spoke next, only the corners of her mouth moved.

“You just did big magic, didn’t you?” This time, the bad voice was even stronger. “I sensed that you did something, hid something perhaps. What have you done to us?”

“Get ... get out of my head!” She slammed her forehead into the wall, causing plaster to fall and the rats to flee, though a braver one scooped up the emerald on its way past. “Get out of my head!”

Her scream shattered the room, and now they were back in the master bedroom. Emily hovered before them, and she was looking now at Yuki.

I’m sorry. Emily spoke using sign language, and the fact that Mike understood it perfectly was an equal surprise. He felt Daisy shift by his ear, and he remembered the spark that had passed between them during the incident in the tub.

Interesting, he thought.

Yuki let out a choked cry and ran from the room, and Mike was about to follow when he heard a whisper in his ear.

“Wait.” It was Emily, and he turned around to see that she was floating only a foot away from him. For a moment, her form was stable, as if her connection was finally strong enough to come through. I need to tell you something, she signed.

“Um...” He wasn’t sure if he should try to call Yuki back, but he still didn’t have that sick feeling in his stomach that came when he was in danger. “Make it quick, I guess. But if you can pick just one method of talking, that would freak me out less.”

This is more efficient. Easier to concentrate and the madness will return. Don’t trust the shadow.

“Oh, don’t worry. That bastard is plenty pissed at me because I refuse to buy what he is selling.”

Emily let out a silent sigh, then signed some more.

I needed her to see.

“Yeah, well, we saw plenty. Why are you still here, Emily? Why haven’t you moved on?”

Can’t move on without the rest of my soul. She pointed to the gap in her head, and he frowned, doing his best not to shudder. The shadow still has it, locked in his castle.

She hung her head now, but her hands kept moving. I thought I was trying to get her back. When I forgot her, all I could focus on was getting my soul back, but I was about to die. I tried to extend my lifespan, but only made things worse. It turned out he was in control all along.

He had so many questions for her, but he already knew the one he wanted to ask the most. “What is the great game? I heard him mention it.”

A game created by the Architect. When he built the homes, he hid the same prize inside of each of them, and it was a game that has been played for centuries. Nobody knows the rules, and nobody has ever won. Confusion is supposed to be part of the puzzle.

“Why does the shadow want your soul?”

He needs it to survive. He’s like you and I, a player in the game. When he died, he was able to hang on somehow using soul magic, and he needed my soul to subsist, to keep playing the game. It gave him access to the house via my body, and toward the end, he was controlling me all day.

Mike opened his mouth to ask something else, but Emily flickered. The temperature in the room was warming, and he noticed how tired she looked. Tendrils of darkness were crawling in through the slats, and she turned toward them in pained resignation.

The madness is coming, she said. One more thing to show you.

“I...”

The room swirled with black clouds, and when they fell apart, he was standing in his room once more. Emily stood in front of her mirror, and her eyes were completely black. In the mirror, Emily’s eyes were blue, and her face was pleading.

“The naga is up to something. She should have been finished with the key months ago.” Shadow Emily clenched a fist, causing the knuckles to pop.

Emily shook her head, then pleaded with her hands.

“I suspect that you have done something else. This body feels like you wore it recently. If it wasn’t for your mortal need for sleep, I could just wear you around all day.” Shadow Emily paced before the mirror. “This form will not live much longer, and I need results. The others have been long suspicious, and I suspect my memory spells are wearing thin on them.”

Emily silently stomped her feet and shook her head again, her curls falling along her shoulders.

Shadow Emily grinned, then moved close to the mirror. “If not for the unique abilities of your little cat burglar, I wouldn’t have been able to formulate the magic necessary to alter memories. Such a unique talent wasted, but nobody even noticed when I altered the house last month. I can move from room to room, undetected, and because I am not the true Caretaker, all I have to do is make sure you don’t see it happen is to stuff you away in the Black Place, and let the geas do the rest of the work for me.”

Emily was mad now, and she placed her hands against the glass, her fingertips turning white from the pressure.

“I wonder...” Shadow Emily’s face stretched into a grin. “I wonder what would happen if I killed one of them? Do you think I could get away with it? Maybe the gargoyle? Or that nasty little goblin?”

Emily was now frantic, and she was clawing at the glass.

“Oh, I know. I could use my magic and cave in part of the nymph’s spring. She’s been asking some rather uncomfortable questions recently, and it would be a shame if I forced you to watch.”

Emily was silently shouting ‘No!’ behind the glass.

“Then tell me what you did!” Shadow Emily pressed her hands to the reflection, right on top of Emily’s. “Tell me what you did or I kill the nymph!”

Emily’s face scrunched up with resolve, and the glass between their hands glowed bright yellow.

“Are you seriously trying to take your body back?” Shadow Emily laughed, but Emily’s face scrunched up in concentration. As Shadow Emily kept laughing, Emily’s hands slid through the glass and merged with the shadow’s arms, as if they were being worn like gloves. The laughter stopped as Emily used those hands to strangle her own body.

The gasps became whispers, and dark veins sprouted along Shadow Emily’s face. Inky black tears fell from her eyes as Emily kept squeezing, and after several minutes, her body went limp.

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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 2 Long Nights

“A dullahan?” Mike frowned. “I’m afraid I don’t know the term.” “I’m yer friendly headless horseman, lad.” The dullahan still held his own head in one hand, and was now swinging it back and forth like a macabre pendulum. “My job is similar to a banshees in that I deal with dead spirits, though I usually cut a more dashing figure on my horse. So I guess I’m technically just headless.” The grin on his face was impossibly wide, his lips stretched nearly to his ears. “I want to speak to the...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 18 Changing of the Seasons

Mike opened his eyes. He was lying in his bed with Tink wrapped around his feet. The ceiling up above had somehow become a dome-shaped skylight, allowing him a perfect view of the stars as they swirled about in the night sky of the Dreamscape. Sleep in the Dreamscape was an enigma for him. Despite knowing that he was asleep, he still became tired after a while and allowed himself to crash on his bed. He didn’t actually have dreams while he was here, but instead entered a meditative state...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 7 The Labyrinth

Daryl stood outside the garage apartment, staring up at the windows above the garage door. It had been no easy matter tracking down the delivery girl. Luckily, she worked several jobs around town, and was well known by name at more than a few establishments. Those who knew her also knew her story. Apparently the love of her life had died in a terrible motorcycle accident. They had scraped what was left of Alex Winters off of the highway, leaving behind grieving parents and a closed casket...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 11 The Worst Place on Earth

“Did you have a good nap?” The voice was cold, snapping Mike out of his slumber. Tink’s arms clutched him tightly, and he pushed the blankets off of his head, staring at the dark figure in his room. He reached out to touch the lamp, warm light bathing the angry figure in the doorway. She stood with her arms crossed and a messenger bag slung over her shoulder. “Uh ... hi Beth.” Mike slid sideways out of the blankets. “So, uh, I’m sure you have some questions.” Sitting up, Mike tried to keep...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 11 Nine of Wands

Mike wasn’t sure what he expected to see once inside the tower, but it certainly wasn’t this. What he had thought was the entrance to the tower was in fact an outer wall. A large courtyard full of flowers and creeper vines would have been impressive enough, but the sheer number of butterflies, bees, and even birds had him staring in awe. An entire ecosystem had been formed inside these walls, complete with a small waterfall that flowed out of the cliff itself and fed into an irrigation...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 12 Shocking Developments

Mike stared at the piece of paper in front of him, then looked up. Jenny stood on the other side of the paper, holding a large pencil in both hands. She was tapping her foot impatiently. He sighed. “How about W?” Jenny drew the last leg on the hanging stick figure, then drew an X over each of his eyes. He heard a distant cackle come from all around the room, and she dropped her pencil. He scrutinized the puzzle before him and then looked at her. Somehow, despite guessing all the vowels,...

4 years ago
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Percy Periwinkles Passage Part III Percys Perfect Purgatory

PERCY PERIWINKLE'S PASSAGE PART III - PERCY'S PERFECT PURGATORY by sissystevie For the third time in as many months Percy Prigmoore Periwinkle found himself zipping down a highway near Fromage, Wisconsin at a speed well in excess of most police radar scales. Both prior trips to the elegant clubhouse of the Society of Enlightened Ladies had ended badly for the hapless sissy. Each had pushed him deeper into the satin trap of a pansy-nancyboy faggot. Yes, "faggot" - for now...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 2 The Library

Mike held the small sledgehammer in both hands, dubious that he would be able to strike another living being with it, much less a minotaur. Still, it was better than nothing, which made him feel a little bit better. Mike had debated purchasing a gun, but he knew next to nothing about them other than to point the long, skinny end at stuff you wanted to kill. His lack of education aside, Naia had warned him against such a purchase for the sole reason that she had no idea what other creatures...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 3 Girl of My Dreams

Mike yawned, covering his mouth, then set his book down on the cart. It was dangerously full, and he knew that Sofia would ream him out if he just kept cramming books onto it. “Can you take this to the platform?” he asked Death. “Yes I can, Mike Radley.” The grim reaper grabbed the cart with bony hands and pushed it down the corridor, the wheels squeaking softly. Mike rubbed his eyes and yawned again, then checked his phone. He had no signal in the Library, but all he wanted was to see the...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 16 Day of the Dead

Dana was upstairs when she heard the front door explode. Quetzalli emerged from her bedroom with a concerned look on her face, and the two of them rushed to the top of the stairs to look below. There was a flash of light, followed by a scream from Beth. Quetzalli was already heading for the stairs when a man in a hoodie pointed his wand up at her and hissed something under his breath. Dana shoved Quetzalli out of the way in time to catch the brunt of the magic, and the shockwave carried both...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 12 The Coming Storm

Kali’s fists clenched and unclenched in the back of the town car. Daryl was kneeling on the floor in front of her, contemplating the large patch of skin that had been blasted off the side of her ribs. He gave it a gentle tug, making Kali wince. “You always impress me,” Daryl said, pulling a scalpel from the small kit on the floor. “Anyone else would have passed out from the pain.” “I don’t feel pain.” Her eyes bulged from her head, many of the veins burst from the lightning blast. Daryl...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 5 Firing Squad

“Ow, fuck!” Mike winced as Naia inspected the large bruise forming above his hip bone where Abella had squeezed him with her stony thighs. The Mandragora plant had actually injured him less than the gargoyle had, surprisingly enough. Save for some scrapes on his hands (well, and not being eaten), he was fine. “Yeah, that will sting for a while.” Naia placed a kiss on it. “You had me so worried! I’ve never seen the Mandragora do that before. You’re going to need to feed it pretty...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 15 Samhain

Mike sat with Naia on the edge of the fountain, their arms wrapped around each other. He took in her scent, which was reminiscent of rain and the forest floor. When she finally released him, she had a scowl fixed on her face. “You had better come back alive,” she told him. “Or I will be very cross with you.” “Don’t worry. I’m going to be very careful. If things start to go south before I get there, I’ll come back and try again next year.” Truthfully, he hoped that wasn’t the case. How many...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 5 Naughty Devils

Beth stepped out of the secret tunnel into the center of the Labyrinth, her shoe catching a rock and sending it skittering across the cold stone. Up above, a large gemstone shone like a tiny star, warming the entire room to a comfortable temperature. Large tables were covered in different magical items in various states of disrepair, and rats moved around in the shadows, carrying what looked like rocks of different sizes. Ratu was leaning over a stack of books, her kimono hanging open and...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 17 Battlegrounds

The technicolor clouds of the Dreamscape parted as Mike fell through them, and he flipped himself over in an attempt to finally stick the landing on the beach. For a moment, he thought he had it, but at the last second his feet swung out from under him and he slammed into the ground hard enough that the beach crumbled beneath him. He fought to stay above the flowing sand that rushed in to fill the gap, and was busy pinwheeling his arms when a golden ray of light broke through the sky above to...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 9 Getting a Head

Beth scowled at the water. She was sitting on the shore of the Labyrinth’s circular river, watching it rush past. Her knees were pulled against her chest beneath a powder blue skirt, and she tossed another rock into the cold water. It disappeared with a small splash, and Asterion lifted his head from his position next to her to see what had happened. “Is everything okay?” he asked. She rolled her eyes, but didn’t look at the minotaur. “Yeah, it’s fine.” In truth, it wasn’t. Ever since her...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 10 Finding the Center

“ ... and that brings me to here.” Dana sat on the edge of the fountain, her chin in her hands. She wondered if she should feel more upset, regaling the others with her tale. Tears were beyond her ability. The strange numbness of her body applied even more so to her eyes. She could no longer feel them, and it was taking effort to remember to blink. “So if I don’t deliver Mike or whatever special treasure the house hides, he will leave me like this.” Naia, Cecilia, and Zel looked at each...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 9 Nightmares and Dreamscapes

His soul floated, hiding just beneath his skin, dreading the moment that his eyes would open, streaming reality in High Definition through his very being. It wasn’t that he was afraid to face the morning, but rather that he was afraid of how much pain he would be in upon awakening. The morning before, his whole being had been in agony. Between fucking Jenny out of Beth and then carrying Beth home, he wondered if his body would decide to be tired or sore instead. How does a body decide how...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 4

Stirring Memories The group was huddled on the floor, staring at the mock map Mike had made of the hallway. He had used his knife to carve wooden blocks from the still flopping dresser, lying the pieces end to end. The smaller ones had already stopped shaking, and the larger ones were weakening. Cecilia hovered overhead, and Carmina stood amongst the blocks. Carmina had gone first, flying along the ceiling and then back again. Cecilia had become invisible, traversing the same distance. The...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 6 A Series of Unfortunate Events

Kali stood in the front yard, her dark eyes focused on the Radley house. She could see tell-tale signs of the Geas all around her like a giant, magical bubble that shifted away from her when she tried to pop it. She had been fascinated by the spell ever since she had heard about it, but had been warned away from trying to mess with it. While Emily was alive, any attempt to come near the house had ended in death for Society members after the fiasco with Garrett. After Emily had died, she and...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 15 The Devil

Yuki sat on the porch swing, staring out at the front yard with a cup of tea in her hands. The debris from the magic storm was strewn across the grounds, making the land look like a small junkyard. Somehow, it served as a perfect metaphor for her life right now, a giant mess with nobody to help clean it up. She took a sip of tea, letting out a sigh as the hot liquid streamed down her throat. The front door opened behind her and Mike walked out, then sat down next to her on the swing. She...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 7 What About the Creepy Doll

“Actually, there is something.” Mike carefully walked around the furniture in the room, pulling the doll from the mantle of the fireplace. He came back, handing it to her. The docile porcelain features of the doll gazed imploringly into Beth’s eyes, as if it was sad to be leaving. “I don’t care how, just get rid of it.” Beth realized that even she thought the doll was spooky. Staring into its painted eyes, she couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m on it. Have a good night, Mike.” She left him, a...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 6

Big Hands, Big Feet The walk back through the tunnels was uneventful. Back in the throne room, Mike had Beth broker a new agreement with the rats. If they wanted to stay, they could, but they needed to close off any tunnels to the outside world that could be used to get in. The rats were hesitant to deny their request, particularly because Tink kept throwing everyone stink eye while holding her club and Mike held Jenny in his arms like a pet. The doll didn’t reanimate on the way back, but...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 11 Unwanted Company

She sat in the black sedan, watching the old, victorian era home across the street. Through the gate and the hedges, she could only make out the upper levels, replete with turrets and large, ornate windows. Inside that home, she knew would find her prey, but one problem remained. Of the many magical enchantments the house had, the most annoying of them all was that you had to be invited. They had bypassed this little detail with the succubus —using Mike’s blood had let them bypass the...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 14 Moonrise

Kisa sat on the roof of the house, her eyes locked on the wrought iron gate at the back of the property line. It had been over a week since Mike had gone through it and returned with the devil dog in tow. Despite his reassurance that Cerberus was no longer a danger to them, all she could picture in her mind was being chased through the misty woods by a fire breathing beast. Memories of her trip into the Underworld from so long ago had rushed in on her like ice water. She had fled from the...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 4 New Castle

The drive to the storage unit took over an hour. Staring at the fields on the edge of town, Beth couldn’t fathom why Emily would insist on a storage unit so far away from civilization, especially when there were several good ones within fifteen minutes of her home. “Fries,” she said, and Lily, acting as her copilot, held up the small red fry cup like an offering to the gods. Beth grabbed a few, stuffing them in her mouth carefully to avoid smudging her lipstick. They had grabbed a bite to...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 9 Caught in the trap

Water flowed through a crack in the wall. On the other side, Mike could hear the river. Placing his hands against the hard stone, he could feel the vibrations through it. Cupping his hands, he collected a mouthful of water and drank it. It was cold with a slight metallic taste, but Blue had informed him that it was safe enough to drink. “Is it good?” Blue asked from her perch on his shoulder. “It tastes like water,” Mike responded, sucking down huge mouthfuls. Wiping his mouth, he turned...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 4 Made of Stone

Mike yawned, the morning light through the white curtains casting a blissful glow on the room. He scratched the back of his neck, his foot kicking the lump near the bottom of his bed. He sat up, leaning forward to give the lump a playful pat. “It’s time to get up, Tink.” Mike watched the lump slide to the edge of the bed, disappearing over the edge with a thud. “Owie,” Tink muttered, standing up holding her bottom. She was wearing a tank top night shirt, one of the things Mike had ordered...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 13 In the Eye of the Storm

Mike realized his mistake as soon as it happened. Upon walking out the main entrance, they had stopped long enough for Beth to bid farewell to Asterion. The group all stood at the edge of the reflecting pool, their shortcut back to the house. When Beth rejoined them, Tink counted down from three and they all jumped in at the same time. That’s when Mike remembered that the magical shortcut would take them all to the downstairs closet. Not until the water soaked through his shoes did it occur...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 14 The Magician

They came again in the early hours of the morning, moving silently behind the outer wall. They triggered the wards Yuki had set, causing the kitsune to watch their approach through the window with bated breath. She could see them now, ominous shadows that peered over the wall and then vanished, gathering near the entrance for their next attack. Yuki had spent hours building her defenses back up, her mind and body tired from the effort, hoping to catch some sleep. Now, she watched with eager...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 13 The Tower

Mike’s heart pounded in his chest at the sight of the thing. The Jabberwock regarded the small group of people in its master’s home, then opened its mouth to let out a cry that made him think of a pterodactyl on steroids. Jabberwock saliva misted the entire room, and everyone covered their ears to shut out the cry. Daisy bolted, vanishing down the stairs and leaving a glittering trail behind her. Zel made a break for it, and the Jabberwock lunged for her, leaving a bloody gash in her...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 8 La Petite Mort

“Are we ready?” Mike asked. The others nodded, each one at their stations. Tink had tied Beth to a chair which had been placed in the fountain, standing behind her with a knife at the ready. Abella was out of sight, watching from up above in case everything went wrong. She had explicit instructions to do whatever it took to protect the members of the house. Naia stood behind Beth, her lips a crooked smirk. “We are ready.” Cecilia said, standing next to him. Mike took a deep breath, taking...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 5

Breakdown in Negotiations Mike pulled his shirt on in front of the bathroom mirror, Naia watching him from the tub. He could see the look of concern on her face, knew that the question was coming, and he had no idea how to dodge it. “Are you okay?” He let out a sigh. “No.” “Tell me.” He didn’t want to. He never wanted to talk about it with anybody. Yet, when he turned to face her directly, he remembered that she was the other part of his soul. She completed him in a way he couldn’t quite...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 9

The Fool The railing was smooth to the touch, as if it had been recently polished. She touched a knot in the wood, her fingers caressing the fractured ridges. Closing her eyes, she took in the smell of the place. The rich scent of oil, sawdust, and water from the fountain out back filled her with a swirl of nostalgia, causing her to inhale again, only deeper this time. So many old scents and a few that were new. Behind them all was the faint, faded scent of sunflowers and...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 4 Boxing Match

Sleep came for Mike, but it was far from restful. Unable to properly enter the Dreamscape again, he tossed and turned in his bed, his brain unwilling to let things rest. His first thoughts were on Cecilia. He could see her now, trapped inside a silver cage in the middle of a glen surrounded by waterfalls. Breaking the lock on the cage, he stepped inside—only to have her melt like wax in his arms and slide through holes in the floor. “Cecilia,” he cried out, her name slurring as if spoken in...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 7

Five Minutes Ago “You take me to the nicest places,” Beth said, stepping over a small, mossy rock. The world around them was dark, and the light from their cellphones poorly illuminated the forest floor. A breeze had formed as the cool, night air of Ireland blew through the portal into Mike’s front yard. The portal had been chewed into the inner wall of a crumbling home out in the woods, obviously long forgotten. “I do my best.” He stepped over a large rock and offered his hand when she...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 2

Roommate Trouble Beth sat at the large dining room table with a small plate of bacon, some coffee and a large plate with the remnants of a strawberry crepe. She scribbled a few more words on a notepad by her laptop, frowning at the list. “Any luck?” Sofia asked, walking in with her own breakfast. The cyclops took the seat across from Beth. A few of the seats in the formal dining room had been designed for larger people, allowing the cyclops to sit comfortably at the table. As far as Beth...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 11 Painful Memories

Kisa stood in the kitchen and scowled at the pantry door. How many times had she wandered in here and absent-mindedly opened it? At least three times a day, and now that she was here again, she had decided to look through the whole pantry and discover just what it was that she was looking for. Her missing memories really bothered her. She had just assumed that something would come back to her in the last few days, but all she got was static. Vivid images of the old man stirred something up...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 10

Seven of Swords Beth said very little to the minotaur as they climbed the trail to the top of the cliffs. She could tell he wanted to comfort her, but there weren’t words or deeds to make the situation right. Her plan was to speak with Naia and Sofia right away, to see if either of them could offer her any help. There were only a few days to make her decision, and she wouldn’t be able to live with any of her options. She remembered when she was little, her parents started arguing...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 5 Man in the Mirror

Beth tumbled gently to the floor beneath, flipping her body at the last second to land on her feet. Staring up, all she could see were the clouds she had passed through on the way down. She had several red marks on her left arm, each one from a nasty pinch that she gave herself to try and wake up from this strangest of dreams. Now that she was on the ground, she saw that she stood in a beautiful garden with a large marble gazebo in the middle. “How peculiar,” she said, expecting her voice to...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 12 Welcome Home

Mike opened his eyes, staring at the waning sunlight through the canopy overhead. Scattered rays were dying, a sign that the sun was sinking toward the skyline, ready to slumber until the break of dawn. The forest was quiet – a complete lack of animals meant that the only sound Mike could hear was the occasional rippling of the leaves as the wind brushed them against one another. Lifting his head, he knew that he needed to get back. Though his slumber had been restless, he had clearly slept...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 2 A Swing and a Miss

“Whoa!” Mike splashed water everywhere in his haste to get out of the tub. This time, Naia didn’t fight him as he scrambled out into the bathroom, covering up with a towel. She pouted as he slid across the floor, looking for his pants. Seeing that she hadn’t moved from her spot in the tub, Mike felt his heart rate level out, the burst of adrenaline gone. “Who ... what are you?” He asked, trying to keep his eyes off of her breasts. Other than the strange markings on her ribs, her skin was...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 8 The New Girl

“Easy, kisa.” The familiar voice was thick with a Russian accent and elicited both feelings of warmth and sadness. It spoke to her from the void, guiding her back to the world of the living. The darkness peeled away to reveal a small dance studio with wooden floors and large windows overlooking a city. One of the interior walls was a mirror, and in the reflection was a young, black teen who sat on the floor, her face wracked with pain as an older man held her left leg in place while...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 7

The Naga, the Fox and the Wardrobe The door of the wardrobe didn’t move. Puzzled, Mike grabbed the handle even tighter and pulled again, but it still wouldn’t budge. The wardrobe felt like it had been anchored into the wall, the door completely immobile. Frustrated, he tried rattling the door when he realized that he had missed one very important detail. Right below the handle was a small keyhole. “Ugh.” He got ready to kick the wardrobe out of frustration when he remembered that he had a...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 8

The Hanged Man His chest was on fire and he couldn’t move. His limbs were super heavy and he couldn’t feel his legs anymore. Am I dying? Loud thuds like distant thunder beat in his chest and he thought he heard someone saying his name. His head cleared, and it occurred to him that he had looked onto the shores of the afterlife and they had looked nothing like this. A loud scraping sound filled his senses and he was suddenly blinded by a bright light and someone called his name. Oh shit....

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 8 Memories and Minotaurs

The sudden shift in time and position was immediately disorienting. One second, she was on the first floor of the Radley house, the world spinning around her. The next, she was running along a busted bridge, her legs not quite right beneath her. She tripped, colliding with someone else on the bridge, and they tumbled off together. Once she hit the cold water, her synapses fired all at once, restarting her brain and giving her full control. “Beth!” A hand swung out, grabbing her wrist, but...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 6 In and Out

Up on the third floor, Mike contemplated the large set of double doors in front of him. The wall where the wardrobe used to be had been replaced with a slightly wider hallway that terminated after a few yards at a large pair of metal doors with a series of gears built into them. He tested the handle, but the door didn’t budge. Symbols were emblazoned across both doors with shapes that seemed astronomical in nature—he recognized the symbol for the moon and the sun, and the planet Mars, but...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 14 Bigger on the Inside

“Ugh.” Mike held up a hand to shut out the sun’s light. It had been a late night trying to lay down all the new sod in the front yard. The lightning blasts and storm had killed off most of it, and only a few of the shrubs had survived. The delivery had showed up six hours late, and Mike and the others had to hastily unroll the sod beneath a scorching afternoon sun. Tink had crawled into bed with dirt on her hands and feet, her goggles pulled down over her neck. Mike had fallen asleep in his...

2 years ago
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POO MONSTERS

"Quick," he said, "grab the forty miles per hour sign." She bent down and felt around under her seat for the A3-sized placards that he had made up. She pulled them out and flipped through them, looking for the one he wanted. "Good grief, would you look at this idiot?" growled Michael. "Doesn't he know what a de-restricted sign means, for heaven's sake?" He changed down into third gear and cruised up to a few yards behind the bumper of the car in front, edging out towards the...

4 years ago
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World of Futa Monsters

Four figures were seen with each other, locked together by their hips and holding each other's thighs. They were clearly very voluptuous women with extra body parts below. In front was an orange haired werewolf getting anally reamed and jerked off by a vampire behind her while the vampire was being pounded by a dark skinned mummy. And said mummy was being pounded by a green skinned zombie woman of some sort. To the side of the orgy lied a human woman oozing and caked in cum. The monster women...

Fantasy
3 years ago
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Backyard PrincessChapter 2 Prisoner of the Shadow Monsters

That evening, Sarah stopped by and asked if we wouldn't mind coming over to meet her parents. Mom and I followed her across the way to her house. Her mom greeted us at the door and welcomed us inside. The smell of freshly baked cookies filled the house, and I spotted a plate of them on the coffee table in the living room. Her dad sat in one of the chairs. Mom and I sat down on the couch, and Mrs. Laurent took one of the other empty seats. Sarah passed around the cookies, then disappeared...

3 years ago
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I Kill Monsters

This story introduces two characters to the readers. I will bring them back every once in a while but this was the first time I used them they came to me as a result of a story written called Yukon by – well it does not matter. It is a continuation to a story "Yukon." A couple go to Yukon, wife is fucked silly by a scum bag monster of a man who has done it before to others; husband is forced to put up with it until he finally figures out a way to kill the monster. Wife tells him monster is...

3 years ago
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Sometimes Monsters Come In Small Packages

My name is Dr. Reginald  Alexander Ghurtholtz. I am a monsterologist, teaching monsterology at the world-famous Graveyard University. For those of you who don't know, monsterology is the study of monsters. Yes, they do exist. Of course, my so-called scientific colleagues disagree with me, but what do they know? They're just a bunch of chemists, biologists, zoologists and so forth. You know... voodoo scientists. They actually had the nerve to tell me that monsterology wasn't even a real word and...

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