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Up on the third floor, Mike contemplated the large set of double doors in front of him. The wall where the wardrobe used to be had been replaced with a slightly wider hallway that terminated after a few yards at a large pair of metal doors with a series of gears built into them.

He tested the handle, but the door didn’t budge. Symbols were emblazoned across both doors with shapes that seemed astronomical in nature—he recognized the symbol for the moon and the sun, and the planet Mars, but that was it.

“Well?” He looked at Tink. “What’s supposed to be behind here?”

“Wrong room.” She looked at the gears, then slid her goggles on. “Old room just bedroom with bed that smell like farts. Tink not sure why special door.”

“It looks like a combination lock,” Dana added, pointing to the five large gears. Each gear had a slightly different hue to it and a central handle. “See how these turn? The symbols change and then line up in the middle of these windows here.” She pointed to a column of openings in the middle of the double doors.

“The goggles should be able to figure it out, right?” Mike looked at Tink, who was now scowling at the door. “Tink?”

“Goggles say turn dials, but no tell Tink correct password.” She moved closer to the door to inspect it, then put her hands on a piece of metal and gave it a slight pull. “Pull lever when correct, but...”

“But what?”

“Tink don’t know. Goggles say pull lever any time.” She shrugged. “That how door works.”

“Yeah, I’m suspicious.” Dana examined the gears of the door with a mixture of curiosity and excitement. “There’s a series of tumblers behind the gears. I can see them in a couple of places.”

“Tink see, too!” She had shoved her face against the door, turning her face sideways to see behind the mechanism of the door. “Tumblers move rods, unlock door.”

“So, what, do we just have to get the combination right?” Mike grabbed the lever and gave it a pull. The door emitted a series of clicks, but failed to open when he pulled the handle.

“It would seem that way.” Dana knocked on the door a few times and put her ear against it. “Can you turn one of the gears for me?”

“Yeah, sure.” Mike grabbed the one closest to him and gave it a slow turn. The thick teeth of the gear clicked as a series of symbols moved through circular openings in the middle of the door. There were seven windows, and the symbols were changing in only two of them. He watched the symbols cycle through, and he looked at Dana, waiting for further instructions. They had yet to repeat, and he noticed that one of the symbols changed three times faster than the other.

“Oh, wow.” Dana said, then pulled her head off the door and gave one of the other gears a turn, causing Mike’s gear to lock up. Two other windows rotated their symbols, but one of them went through five symbols by the time the other went through two. “This is so cool!”

“Glad you like it.” Mike grinned and gave the third gear a twist, then frowned. The third gear controlled a new window and one of the previous ones. “Oh, that’s a nasty trick. How is that even possible?”

“Do it again.” Dana put her ear to the door, and Mike alternated turning the two gears. “There’s a slight delay, but I can hear something shift in there.”

“How does that help us?” he asked.

“It doesn’t, really. Sounds like there’s a mechanism in there for changing from one window to the next. Would love to take this apart and see how it works.” She turned the remaining gears. Each gear controlled two windows, meaning that three of the windows were controlled by two different gears. The ratios were different for each gear as well, and he was having trouble figuring out which ones did what.

“Is this something we could brute force?” he wondered aloud, looking at the column of symbols.

“Probably, but it would be a giant pain in the ass. That top window has twenty symbols alone.”

“Have you figured out what they mean?”

“Nope. I did astronomy as an elective in college, but...” She scrunched up her face. “I can’t remember most of it. It’s kind of like a dream I forgot the details of. I do recognize most of these symbols as astronomical, but some of the others I aren’t familiar.” She pointed at one that looked similar to the number three. “Here’s an example. It could mean third planet, maybe?”

Mike had always liked puzzles growing up. They had been a fun escape for him, and he found the intricacies of the door fascinating. What he didn’t like was having a door in his house that had been locked down with God knew what behind it. The outer edges of the door had similar symbols to what he had seen so far, but he couldn’t make any sense of them. He knocked on the door. “Hey, stargate! Anyone there willing to slip a hint under the door?”

All of them waited quietly for several seconds.

“Well, figured it was worth a try. Maybe we could just try and get in through the window?”

“I guess.” Dana looked disappointed. “Might be a pain in the ass to get in and out with a ladder.”

“Yeah, probably. Still, wouldn’t hurt to at least take a shot at opening it, right?” He looked at the symbols again and took out his phone. “The door and the symbols look old, so let’s do some educated guesses. Seven windows, right? Let’s see.” He dug through the internet until he found a reference chart for astronomy. “Let’s do the sun for window one, then go through until we reach Saturn. Can’t hurt to try.”

“Ooh, Tink help!” The goblin snatched his phone from him, her eyes going back and forth to the door. “Goggles tell Tink how to put this in!”

“Well, that should save us some time.” He and Dana watched as Tink alternated spinning the large gears, the symbols slowly lining up. It took her a couple of minutes to do, and she stepped back when finished.

“Let’s see...” He pointed at the top window. “So there’s the Sun. Mercury, Venus, Earth...”

“Mars, Jupiter, Saturn!” Tink jumped to tap the last symbol with a claw. “Tink know order, now know symbols.”

“Great job,” he told her, ruffling her hair and tweaking one of her horns.

“Tell Tink great job later,” she said, pinching his ass before standing back.

He chuckled, then grabbed the lever on the door and pulled. This time, the clunking behind the door continued for several seconds, and a sound like a piston being compressed was followed by the sound of inner gears.

“Guess that puzzle wasn’t too—” An icy chill spread through his body as a series of interlocking blades that had been hidden in the door’s design opened like a flower, revealing a glowing, yellow gemstone that hummed like a dynamo that was spinning up.

Tink was just close enough that he could grab her by the hair, and he pulled her to the ground just before the gemstone discharged. A wave of force bounced the two of them down the hall, and Dana, standing in front of the door, was blown through the wall. Plaster and dust fell like snow all along the hallway, causing Mike and Tink to cough.

The aperture on the door slammed shut, the thin lines of the metal vanishing into the surface. Mike stood, then helped Tink to her feet.

“You okay?” he asked, brushing dust out of her hair. The goggles had gone askew on her forehead, and she removed them entirely before using the hem of her skirt to wipe the dirt out of her eyes.

“Tink okay.” She grinned up at him, then licked her lips. “Husband pull Tink hair anytime.”

“I’ll add it to your kink list. Dana?” He turned his attention to the hole in the wall. On the other side was Yuki’s bedroom, and on her way through, Dana had broken through one of the studs, eventually crashing into a set of easels set up along the opposite wall. “Hey, are you okay?”

All he got was a muffled response, so he opened up Yuki’s door and stepped inside.

“Sorry, Yuki,” he muttered out loud, on the off chance she would turn the corner and see him. He had promised her on the day that she had moved in that he would never trespass on her private space, but he felt like she would understand.

Her room was full of paint, brushes, and several easels with art in various stages. An image of a beautiful tree dropping blossoms caught his attention, but he shook his head and moved around Yuki’s bed to where Dana had landed. She had pulled the bed’s comforter off on her way down, and was wrapped up inside of it.

“Dana?” he crouched down and gave her a shake.

“Mmmf,” she replied.

“You okay?” He pulled some of the blankets off of her, then recoiled in horror.

Dana’s head was at an unnatural angle, a large lump in the side of her neck. Her arms were still twisted up in the blanket, but he could tell that something was wrong with her shoulder.

She let out a raspy sigh that sounded more like a cough. “Apparently my neck is broken,” she said, her voice like a scratched record.

“I ... I see that. Um ... do you think I should take you to ... Zel?”

Dana stared at him for a couple of seconds, her grey eyes flat and lifeless. “Oh, sorry. I tried to shake my head no. If we can get me ... situated, I should be fixable without her help.”

“Yeah, let’s ... uh...” He tenderly moved the blanket off of her side, then tried to shift her by dragging the fabric.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Trying to move you without hurting ... oh.” He grabbed the blanket and dragged her into the middle of the room and unwrapped her.

“Dead girl broken bad.” Tink’s features were scrunched up in disgust. “Husband fix?”

“Of course.” He grabbed Dana’s shoulders and lifted, then placed himself under her torso and stood. She was now hanging over his shoulder, butt first. “Tink, do you think you could try and get that hole patched? Yuki’s more likely to forgive us if she at least has her wall back.”

“Tink try.” She slipped the goggles over her face and moved to examine the hole. “Whole house broken today. Husband make Tink work too hard.”

“Sorry, Tink.” He felt bad, leaving her with the mess, but Dana needed him first. He carried her down the hall to his room and put her down on the bed. Laid flat, he could see that one shoulder hung much lower than the other, and one of her feet was twisted the wrong way.

“How should I start?” he asked.

“Once everything is lined up, I’ll heal.” A weird gurgling noise came from her mouth. “Ugh, I can’t swallow.”

He looked at her and shivered. She couldn’t see him from her current position, but he was looking at the weird knob in her throat. By all rights, if he had been caught in the door’s blast, then the same thing could have happened to him.

“Let’s start with your foot?” It was more a question than a statement, and he waited for a response.

“Whatever gets me fixed, but...” She wheezed. “Just start soon, okay?”

“Okay.” He grabbed her foot and pushed her pant leg up. It looked like a bone in her shin had popped up, so he gave it a tentative push. “So, just shove it back?”

“You can try. I’ve had this break before. It seems that my injuries cause weak points sometimes. Twist my foot around and then push on the raised part.”

He felt nauseous, but tensed his jaw and did what she said. Her skin was cool to the touch, and he almost got sick when he felt how springy the bone was when he pushed on it.

“You gonna play with it, or put it back?”

“Sorry.” He pushed on it a couple times, then climbed onto the bed and held her foot in place with his knees, then used his body weight and both hands to shove the bone back into place.

He felt a shifting beneath her skin as the bone mended, and when he lifted his hands, the bone stayed down. “Is that better?”

“No idea. My neck is broken, remember?”

“Oh. Right.” He moved toward her shoulder, then grimaced. Maybe he should have taken her to Zel, or someone with any sort of medical experience, because he was freaking out a little. “How about the shoulder?”

“Dead girls don’t swell up. If you can rotate it around, all you have to do is pop it back in.” She coughed, then let out another wheeze. “It won’t hurt me, so get creative.”

“Once more unto the breach, I guess.” He grabbed her shoulder and wiggled it around, trying to picture it as something other than a human arm. He gave the arm a push where he thought it should go, and felt the bone inside scrape against the socket.

“You seriously don’t feel that?”

“Even if I could, it would just be uncomfortable. Like, the pressure would be there, but no pain.”

“Okay, well then let’s get it over with.” He straddled her torso and picked up her arm and leaned into her. This took several minutes of trial and error, but eventually he felt something give and her arm popped back into its socket.

“Oh, yeah, just like that,” Dana groaned.

“Excuse me?”

“Dead girl humor. It’s a thing Lily does.” She turned her eyes toward him, so he leaned into view so she could see him better.

“Ah, yes. Lily. She makes life interesting.”

“She makes death interesting, too.”

“Glad to know you didn’t break your sense of humor when you went through that wall.” To be honest, he wasn’t even sure he had heard her crack a joke before.

“It’s deadpan humor.” One side of her lips twitched into a brief smile.

“Was that ... a zombie joke?”

“It’s either laugh or scream. I’m lying on your bed with a broken neck, trying not to freak out a little, so if you don’t mind?”

“Right, sorry.” He got off the bed and positioned himself over her head. “So what do I do here?”

“What’s it look like?”

“Well, your head is crooked, and—”

“No, tell me what it looks like.”

“Oh. There’s a lump in your neck where it’s crooked, so ... I wonder if I just need to push your head back on top of it?”

“Won’t hurt to try.”

He knelt by the bed and slid his hands under her scalp. Her hair was completely gray now, just like her eyes. “I’m going to pull, okay?”

“Pull straight toward you. You’re fighting all those muscles in there right now, don’t be afraid to get rough with it.”

“But ... what if...” the image of Dana’s head somehow separating from her body was ludicrous, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Then Sulyvahn and I can start a club, or something. Maybe even a goth band. He’s already got the outfit for it.”

He laughed. “I keep forgetting that guy is out there. I’ve had too much on my mind recently. Have you met him? What do you think?”

“Not much to think about, really.”

He braced his feet against the frame of the bed and pulled. Dana slid toward him, and he swore to himself. He sat down and raised his feet, placing them on her shoulders.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Bracing myself.” He pushed with his feet and held tight to her jaw. Her skull slid along the bones of her spine, and the crackling noise alone turned his stomach.

“Oh, I hate how that sounds,” she said.

“That makes both of us.” He relaxed for a second and then tensed up again, hooking his fingers around her skull. He took a deep breath and yanked as hard as he could, trying to ignore the popping sounds and sensations.

There was a loud crack, and Dana let out another groan. Her head now seemed to be properly seated, and the lump was finally gone.

“Just like that, right?” Mike asked.

“It’s like popping your elbow, times a million. All that buildup, and then a moment of...” She blinked a few times, then looked towards Mike. “Um ... I still can’t move.”

“Oh shit, let me feel.” He worked his fingers along her spine. Though he had no idea what he was doing, he figured he would notice something really off. Already, he was thinking of the best way to get Dana to the centaurs. He really should have taken her there first instead of trying to deal with the issue himself, but he had wanted to be helpful.

At least he couldn’t kill his patient by accident.

“I don’t feel anything weird. Your neck feels normal.” He stood up and leaned over her, then frowned. “I think I might know the problem.”

“Well?” Though she looked at him, her eyes were completely unfocused. Her skin was now an unhealthy shade of gray, and her face had sunken in just a little.

“You look dead. Like, no joking or anything, but you look bad.”

“Shit.” She frowned, which looked like a quirky smile from where he stood. “I fucked up my leg earlier. I can only regenerate so much without...”

“Say no more.” He made a dash down through the house to the kitchen, and removed one of her few remaining shot glasses of spunk. He went back to his room and pulled the lid off. “Let’s see if this does the trick.”

The moment he had uncorked the glass, Dana’s nostrils flared and she opened her mouth wide, making him think of a baby bird waiting for its meal. He poured the fluid down her throat and watched her swallow it.

Seconds later, she inhaled sharply through her nose, and he heard a couple of pops throughout her body.

“What was that?” he asked.

“My ribs, apparently.” She looked at him. “I can sort of feel my body now, but I still can’t move.”

“Should I get some more ... food for you?”

“Uh...” She was breathing hard now, indecision on her face. “I think I’ll need something stronger, actually. And soon.”

“Here, we can have Naia help.”

“No, wait.” The faraway look in her eyes had turned to something else, and he recognized it for what it was. Hunger. “I mean ... it’s a little bit weird, but we can both be adults about it, right?”

“Yes, of course. If you’re sure.” He knew how she felt about sex with a man, and had done everything in his power to keep her from feeling like she had to. The last thing he wanted was to be resented. After all, it was partially his fault she was a zombie to begin with, and knowing that she had to do this to remain alive and sane often filled him with guilt.

“Oh, I’m sure. Absolutely sure.” A bit of a spark had returned to her eyes, and she was licking her lips. “Like, if you don’t do something soon, I’m going to freak out.”

“Okay, yeah, I get it.” He started to unbuckle his pants, then frowned. “So ... you can’t really move.”

“You’re stating the obvious.”

“But then how ... like should I just...”

“Just rub one out, okay?” Her voice was strained. “Blow your load on my face. Really. Less talking, more jerking.”

“Uh, yeah.” He pulled his cock out of his pants and Dana inhaled sharply, staring at it like a starving orphan at Thanksgiving dinner. He stroked himself a few times, and his cock hardened in his hand, now standing at full attention. When he looked down at Dana, drool was now running along her cheeks, and he swayed his cock from side to side.

Her eyes followed, her entire focus on his thick shaft. Seeing how enthralled she was with his meaty member gave him a rush, and he used his other hand to tug down on his balls, preparing himself for the task at hand.

His magic woke up now, humming through his veins with nowhere to go. It crawled along his chest and belly first, then ran across his thighs before rolling up his spine and repeating the process. The sensation was both pleasurable and a bit distracting.

Dana made a noise similar to a whimper, and he saw that her attention was caught by a single bead of precum that had spilled over the top of his cock and clung to the ridge of his glans.

He moved closer, his cock hovering just over her mouth. Should he flick it and try to get it in her mouth? Saliva was running down her cheeks now, so he moved his cock closer to her mouth with the intention of pushing the drop in with his finger.

Her tongue flicked out and caught it, and his magic briefly shifted in her direction while they were in contact.

“Oh, fuck, I hate how much I love it.” She smacked her lips and looked up at him. “More, I need more.”

“I’m working on it.” Seeing her naturally cool demeanor vanish was unsettling, but this version of her seemed easy to please. He stroked faster, letting the magic flow through his groin and up his back, willing it to expedite the process.

A clear glob formed on the head of his cock, and he lowered it for her to lick again. This time, he held it in place long enough for her to lick it free, then use her tongue to explore his urethra and clean out any extra. When he pulled his cock away, she let out a whimper, so he put it back where she could reach it.

The progression was natural, and when his cock hit the edge of her lips, she sucked him in, forming a seal with her lips while her tongue explored the surface of his cock.

Dana’s inexperience giving blowjobs was nothing compared to the absolute enthusiasm with which she slobbered all over his dick. He had no idea how much of his precum she consumed, but her fingers began to twitch, which was a good sign. She was swallowing constantly now, making tiny moans afterward.

“Mmm, oh yeah.” He spread his legs and squatted down a bit to get a better angle, stroking his cock the whole time. Tiny little sparks shot out of the head of his cock and into Dana, and her arms spasmed with each one.

He knew that his semen was altered by magic, but was the magic itself something she could consume? It seemed a testable theory, so he willed it to build up in his cock, hoping that it would help her recover faster.

Dana clenched her fingers into a fist, and her arms twitched.

“Are you—” he asked, but her arms flipped over her head, and she circled his waist with them. With a yank, she pulled his cock into her mouth, then let out a muffled sigh of contentment.

The head of his cock now pressed against the back of her throat, and he couldn’t help himself. He pressed into her, then pulled back, letting out a grunt as he released another trickle in her mouth. She let go of his waist and was using her hand to jack him off. Her other hand moved to the waistband of her pants, then slid underneath.

Well, she seemed enthusiastic enough. He put his hands on her forehead and thrust into her mouth some more. She let go of his cock to play with her breasts, and he held onto her shoulders to make the process easier. He slid himself into her mouth as far as he could go, then pulled out. She let out a grunt, and he pulled his cock free. Large, sticky strands of cum and spit temporarily connected them.

“You good?” he asked.

“I don’t ... need to ... breathe...” Her eyes were flickering between gray and blue, so he shrugged and shoved himself back into her throat. She moaned in delight, forming another vacuum seal and inhaling him even farther. A bulge formed beneath her jaw, and he realized that he was now sliding into her esophagus.

He started slow, fucking her face while the pressure in his cock built. The process was slow at first, and when she opened her eyes, he could see the sparks inside of them, radiating out and along her face. Little jolts of static turned her hair from gray to blonde, and the color was coming back to her skin.

She unbuttoned her pants to shove both hands down the front, her movements now frantic. Her legs spasmed a couple of times, and one foot kicked hard enough that a shoe fell off.

Groaning, Mike grabbed Dana’s jaw and fucked her mouth vigorously, his orgasm approaching. Dana seemed to sense it, too, and she let out an encouraging moan. Watching that bulge in her throat move back and forth was almost hypnotic, and he felt his inner walls collapse.

He slowed down his thrusts, let the pressure build, then shoved his cock as far as he could, letting out a growl, then filled her throat with cum and magic.

Dana let out a moan of delight, and pulled her hands out of her pants to grab him by the ass and hold him in place. Every swallow was a loud, gulping noise, and she swirled her tongue around, eagerly consuming every last drop. She was making adorable little mmm noises around his shaft.

Suddenly, she screamed around his dick, and sparks erupted from her skin, then traveled along her belly and down between her legs.

She spat him out. “Oh, fuck!” Dana let go of him and shoved her hands down her pants. Letting out a growl, she lifted her hips to push her pants down. Her panties soon followed, revealing a pair of thighs slick with her own juices.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Dana was masturbating furiously, her hands alternating between her clit and her vagina. She tried to sit up, but kept falling back down.

“Are ... you okay?”

“I need to come!” She looked at him with desperation in her eyes. The sparks were jumping all across her now, running circles around her thighs and stomach. “I ... need to ... fuck!”

“Let me get you to the tub.” He grabbed her by the shoulders, intending to take her to Naia, but Dana grabbed him and yanked him down onto the bed.

“But ... I thought...”

“Just ... shut up. Don’t talk.” She rolled him onto his back with a surprising amount of strength, then sat up. “Don’t ... don’t say anything. Please.”

He held a finger to his lips, then pretended to lock them and throw away the key.

She closed her eyes and mounted him, her suddenly warm body sinking down onto him.

“Oh, fuck! Fuck me!” She put her hands on his stomach, and then leaned back and rode him. One hand was frantically working at her clitoris while she used the other to squeeze her breast. She was nearly manic now, letting out loud shrieks that had him covering his ears. What was wrong with her?

The sparks were circling her belly now, crawling up to disappear beneath her shirt. She leaned forward, her hips rolling wildly as she took in a deep breath and shrieked one final time, her whole body shuddering as the sparks jumped from her back into Mike.

He was already hard, but the throbbing in his cock threatened to undo him. He grabbed her by the hips and thrust into her, and she let out a gasp.

“Stop!” She slid off his cock and rolled onto her back, breathing hard.

“Everything okay?” He sat up and looked at her.

“If you keep going ... we’ll be at this all day...” She sucked in a mouthful of air, and then let it out. “I ... feel weird like...” Her blue eyes turned toward him. “I feel alive.”

Looking at her, he had to agree. She had consumed his cum many times, but this was the first time he had used his magic. Not only was Dana’s skin the healthy glow of a living woman, but she looked winded from the effort.

“Oh my god, I’m alive!” Tears formed in the corners of her eyes, and she held up her hands to look at them. “I can feel my heart beating, and oh my god, so many emotions, I’m actually—” Her eyes crossed for a second and her head twitched to one side. Her whole body spasmed for about ten seconds and Mike realized she was suffering a seizure.

“Holy shit, Dana!” He held her on the bed, and wondered if he needed to do something to keep her from biting her tongue. Eventually, the seizure faded, and she opened her eyes, her gaze meeting his.

“I died again.” She sat up with a sigh, then looked at her hands. Oddly enough, it looked like she was holding back tears. “But I still feel way better than I did.”

“You ... you scared me.” He sat away from her on the bed.

“I was scared, too.” She took a moment to put her panties back on, deliberately looking away from him. “Hey, I’m sorry this is so weird for us. I wish it was easier, like with the others. I’m just carrying too much baggage. Stuff about Alex and ... yeah.”

“Huh? You have nothing to feel bad about, I’m sorry that ... well, everything.” He was also sorry that he couldn’t will his erection to go away, but kept that bit to himself. “I’m sorry you have to keep doing this.

A thin smile crossed her lips. “Well, one of these days, we’ll get things fixed so that I don’t have to. Please don’t take that the wrong way, what we just did was ... fun. You’re still just not my type.”

He let out a chuckle. “If I ever figure out how to turn into a woman, I’ll do it just for you.”

“That’s probably not a promise you should make, knowing what you know.” She found her pants and put them back on, and then retightened her ponytail. “Chances are good that something in this place can do that.”

The smile slipped off his face. He had already done something similar in a vision, so it wasn’t much of a stretch to imagine it being possible. “Okay, well maybe just on a temporary basis. Nothing permanent.”

Done putting on her clothes, she turned to face him, her mouth open as if to say something.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY ROOM?!?” Yuki cried from the hallway.

“Sounds like the others are back.” Dana winked and headed for the door. “Let’s go help Tink deal with Yuki.”

Mike let out a sigh and put his dick away. There was no rest for the wicked, after all. He adjusted his clothes and walked out of his room and down the hall. He could hear the kitsune’s distressed voice inside of her room, and Beth was sitting against the wall in the hallway, clutching Jenny to her chest. He stopped in front of her, noticing the haunted look in her eyes.

“Hey, you okay?”

Beth looked up at him and nodded, letting out an explosive breath. “Rough day. Is this your fault?” She looked at the hole in the wall.

“Tried to hack a lock on a magic door and broke our resident zombie. You?”

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Mike gazed morosely at his cellphone, watching the timer for the sundial eventually hit zero. For good or bad, he wouldn’t be there to reset it. Time was up. Standing on the terrace of the tower, it took a supreme effort to stick his phone back in his pocket rather than throw it off the side. “I take it the dial has reset.” Ratu spoke from the chaise lounge behind him, her legs dangling off the side. She was engrossed in another of Yuki’s journals. She had stayed up most of the night,...

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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 2 Long Nights

“A dullahan?” Mike frowned. “I’m afraid I don’t know the term.” “I’m yer friendly headless horseman, lad.” The dullahan still held his own head in one hand, and was now swinging it back and forth like a macabre pendulum. “My job is similar to a banshees in that I deal with dead spirits, though I usually cut a more dashing figure on my horse. So I guess I’m technically just headless.” The grin on his face was impossibly wide, his lips stretched nearly to his ears. “I want to speak to the...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 18 Changing of the Seasons

Mike opened his eyes. He was lying in his bed with Tink wrapped around his feet. The ceiling up above had somehow become a dome-shaped skylight, allowing him a perfect view of the stars as they swirled about in the night sky of the Dreamscape. Sleep in the Dreamscape was an enigma for him. Despite knowing that he was asleep, he still became tired after a while and allowed himself to crash on his bed. He didn’t actually have dreams while he was here, but instead entered a meditative state...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 7 The Labyrinth

Daryl stood outside the garage apartment, staring up at the windows above the garage door. It had been no easy matter tracking down the delivery girl. Luckily, she worked several jobs around town, and was well known by name at more than a few establishments. Those who knew her also knew her story. Apparently the love of her life had died in a terrible motorcycle accident. They had scraped what was left of Alex Winters off of the highway, leaving behind grieving parents and a closed casket...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 11 The Worst Place on Earth

“Did you have a good nap?” The voice was cold, snapping Mike out of his slumber. Tink’s arms clutched him tightly, and he pushed the blankets off of his head, staring at the dark figure in his room. He reached out to touch the lamp, warm light bathing the angry figure in the doorway. She stood with her arms crossed and a messenger bag slung over her shoulder. “Uh ... hi Beth.” Mike slid sideways out of the blankets. “So, uh, I’m sure you have some questions.” Sitting up, Mike tried to keep...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 12 Shocking Developments

Mike stared at the piece of paper in front of him, then looked up. Jenny stood on the other side of the paper, holding a large pencil in both hands. She was tapping her foot impatiently. He sighed. “How about W?” Jenny drew the last leg on the hanging stick figure, then drew an X over each of his eyes. He heard a distant cackle come from all around the room, and she dropped her pencil. He scrutinized the puzzle before him and then looked at her. Somehow, despite guessing all the vowels,...

1 year ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 13 Purgatory

The gray skies of the Underworld did little to improve Mike’s mood, and the occasional wail from the house made his stomach sour. Yet he sat quietly as Yuki told Amymone about how she had escaped from her tower. “ ... and after we sent the Society packing, Mike forgave me for trying to kill him.” Her tale done, Yuki put her hands in her lap. “And so I live in the house again. It’s really weird that nobody remembers me, but I’m hoping to try and rebuild those relationships. It’s frustrating,...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 2 The Library

Mike held the small sledgehammer in both hands, dubious that he would be able to strike another living being with it, much less a minotaur. Still, it was better than nothing, which made him feel a little bit better. Mike had debated purchasing a gun, but he knew next to nothing about them other than to point the long, skinny end at stuff you wanted to kill. His lack of education aside, Naia had warned him against such a purchase for the sole reason that she had no idea what other creatures...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 3 Girl of My Dreams

Mike yawned, covering his mouth, then set his book down on the cart. It was dangerously full, and he knew that Sofia would ream him out if he just kept cramming books onto it. “Can you take this to the platform?” he asked Death. “Yes I can, Mike Radley.” The grim reaper grabbed the cart with bony hands and pushed it down the corridor, the wheels squeaking softly. Mike rubbed his eyes and yawned again, then checked his phone. He had no signal in the Library, but all he wanted was to see the...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 16 Day of the Dead

Dana was upstairs when she heard the front door explode. Quetzalli emerged from her bedroom with a concerned look on her face, and the two of them rushed to the top of the stairs to look below. There was a flash of light, followed by a scream from Beth. Quetzalli was already heading for the stairs when a man in a hoodie pointed his wand up at her and hissed something under his breath. Dana shoved Quetzalli out of the way in time to catch the brunt of the magic, and the shockwave carried both...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 12 The Coming Storm

Kali’s fists clenched and unclenched in the back of the town car. Daryl was kneeling on the floor in front of her, contemplating the large patch of skin that had been blasted off the side of her ribs. He gave it a gentle tug, making Kali wince. “You always impress me,” Daryl said, pulling a scalpel from the small kit on the floor. “Anyone else would have passed out from the pain.” “I don’t feel pain.” Her eyes bulged from her head, many of the veins burst from the lightning blast. Daryl...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 5 Firing Squad

“Ow, fuck!” Mike winced as Naia inspected the large bruise forming above his hip bone where Abella had squeezed him with her stony thighs. The Mandragora plant had actually injured him less than the gargoyle had, surprisingly enough. Save for some scrapes on his hands (well, and not being eaten), he was fine. “Yeah, that will sting for a while.” Naia placed a kiss on it. “You had me so worried! I’ve never seen the Mandragora do that before. You’re going to need to feed it pretty...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 15 Samhain

Mike sat with Naia on the edge of the fountain, their arms wrapped around each other. He took in her scent, which was reminiscent of rain and the forest floor. When she finally released him, she had a scowl fixed on her face. “You had better come back alive,” she told him. “Or I will be very cross with you.” “Don’t worry. I’m going to be very careful. If things start to go south before I get there, I’ll come back and try again next year.” Truthfully, he hoped that wasn’t the case. How many...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 5 Naughty Devils

Beth stepped out of the secret tunnel into the center of the Labyrinth, her shoe catching a rock and sending it skittering across the cold stone. Up above, a large gemstone shone like a tiny star, warming the entire room to a comfortable temperature. Large tables were covered in different magical items in various states of disrepair, and rats moved around in the shadows, carrying what looked like rocks of different sizes. Ratu was leaning over a stack of books, her kimono hanging open and...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 17 Battlegrounds

The technicolor clouds of the Dreamscape parted as Mike fell through them, and he flipped himself over in an attempt to finally stick the landing on the beach. For a moment, he thought he had it, but at the last second his feet swung out from under him and he slammed into the ground hard enough that the beach crumbled beneath him. He fought to stay above the flowing sand that rushed in to fill the gap, and was busy pinwheeling his arms when a golden ray of light broke through the sky above to...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 9 Nightmares and Dreamscapes

His soul floated, hiding just beneath his skin, dreading the moment that his eyes would open, streaming reality in High Definition through his very being. It wasn’t that he was afraid to face the morning, but rather that he was afraid of how much pain he would be in upon awakening. The morning before, his whole being had been in agony. Between fucking Jenny out of Beth and then carrying Beth home, he wondered if his body would decide to be tired or sore instead. How does a body decide how...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 9 Getting a Head

Beth scowled at the water. She was sitting on the shore of the Labyrinth’s circular river, watching it rush past. Her knees were pulled against her chest beneath a powder blue skirt, and she tossed another rock into the cold water. It disappeared with a small splash, and Asterion lifted his head from his position next to her to see what had happened. “Is everything okay?” he asked. She rolled her eyes, but didn’t look at the minotaur. “Yeah, it’s fine.” In truth, it wasn’t. Ever since her...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 10 Finding the Center

“ ... and that brings me to here.” Dana sat on the edge of the fountain, her chin in her hands. She wondered if she should feel more upset, regaling the others with her tale. Tears were beyond her ability. The strange numbness of her body applied even more so to her eyes. She could no longer feel them, and it was taking effort to remember to blink. “So if I don’t deliver Mike or whatever special treasure the house hides, he will leave me like this.” Naia, Cecilia, and Zel looked at each...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 4

Stirring Memories The group was huddled on the floor, staring at the mock map Mike had made of the hallway. He had used his knife to carve wooden blocks from the still flopping dresser, lying the pieces end to end. The smaller ones had already stopped shaking, and the larger ones were weakening. Cecilia hovered overhead, and Carmina stood amongst the blocks. Carmina had gone first, flying along the ceiling and then back again. Cecilia had become invisible, traversing the same distance. The...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 6 A Series of Unfortunate Events

Kali stood in the front yard, her dark eyes focused on the Radley house. She could see tell-tale signs of the Geas all around her like a giant, magical bubble that shifted away from her when she tried to pop it. She had been fascinated by the spell ever since she had heard about it, but had been warned away from trying to mess with it. While Emily was alive, any attempt to come near the house had ended in death for Society members after the fiasco with Garrett. After Emily had died, she and...

1 year ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 15 The Devil

Yuki sat on the porch swing, staring out at the front yard with a cup of tea in her hands. The debris from the magic storm was strewn across the grounds, making the land look like a small junkyard. Somehow, it served as a perfect metaphor for her life right now, a giant mess with nobody to help clean it up. She took a sip of tea, letting out a sigh as the hot liquid streamed down her throat. The front door opened behind her and Mike walked out, then sat down next to her on the swing. She...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 7 What About the Creepy Doll

“Actually, there is something.” Mike carefully walked around the furniture in the room, pulling the doll from the mantle of the fireplace. He came back, handing it to her. The docile porcelain features of the doll gazed imploringly into Beth’s eyes, as if it was sad to be leaving. “I don’t care how, just get rid of it.” Beth realized that even she thought the doll was spooky. Staring into its painted eyes, she couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m on it. Have a good night, Mike.” She left him, a...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 6

Big Hands, Big Feet The walk back through the tunnels was uneventful. Back in the throne room, Mike had Beth broker a new agreement with the rats. If they wanted to stay, they could, but they needed to close off any tunnels to the outside world that could be used to get in. The rats were hesitant to deny their request, particularly because Tink kept throwing everyone stink eye while holding her club and Mike held Jenny in his arms like a pet. The doll didn’t reanimate on the way back, but...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 11 Unwanted Company

She sat in the black sedan, watching the old, victorian era home across the street. Through the gate and the hedges, she could only make out the upper levels, replete with turrets and large, ornate windows. Inside that home, she knew would find her prey, but one problem remained. Of the many magical enchantments the house had, the most annoying of them all was that you had to be invited. They had bypassed this little detail with the succubus —using Mike’s blood had let them bypass the...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 14 Moonrise

Kisa sat on the roof of the house, her eyes locked on the wrought iron gate at the back of the property line. It had been over a week since Mike had gone through it and returned with the devil dog in tow. Despite his reassurance that Cerberus was no longer a danger to them, all she could picture in her mind was being chased through the misty woods by a fire breathing beast. Memories of her trip into the Underworld from so long ago had rushed in on her like ice water. She had fled from the...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 4 New Castle

The drive to the storage unit took over an hour. Staring at the fields on the edge of town, Beth couldn’t fathom why Emily would insist on a storage unit so far away from civilization, especially when there were several good ones within fifteen minutes of her home. “Fries,” she said, and Lily, acting as her copilot, held up the small red fry cup like an offering to the gods. Beth grabbed a few, stuffing them in her mouth carefully to avoid smudging her lipstick. They had grabbed a bite to...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 9 Caught in the trap

Water flowed through a crack in the wall. On the other side, Mike could hear the river. Placing his hands against the hard stone, he could feel the vibrations through it. Cupping his hands, he collected a mouthful of water and drank it. It was cold with a slight metallic taste, but Blue had informed him that it was safe enough to drink. “Is it good?” Blue asked from her perch on his shoulder. “It tastes like water,” Mike responded, sucking down huge mouthfuls. Wiping his mouth, he turned...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 4 Made of Stone

Mike yawned, the morning light through the white curtains casting a blissful glow on the room. He scratched the back of his neck, his foot kicking the lump near the bottom of his bed. He sat up, leaning forward to give the lump a playful pat. “It’s time to get up, Tink.” Mike watched the lump slide to the edge of the bed, disappearing over the edge with a thud. “Owie,” Tink muttered, standing up holding her bottom. She was wearing a tank top night shirt, one of the things Mike had ordered...

3 years ago
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Andersonville 12 The Day Linda Anderson Came To Town

I slid the report into the proper file just as he walked into the room. Dennis Butz stood there wearing his three-piece suit, looking as handsome and charming as any man could. But I was not to be tamed by his charm. "Hello, Linda," he said with a friendly grin. "Judge Herns isn't in today," I replied back in a frosty tone. "I'm not here to see her." "My plane leaves in less then an hour Dennis, what do you want?" I slammed the file drawer shut and walked past him to my desk...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 13 In the Eye of the Storm

Mike realized his mistake as soon as it happened. Upon walking out the main entrance, they had stopped long enough for Beth to bid farewell to Asterion. The group all stood at the edge of the reflecting pool, their shortcut back to the house. When Beth rejoined them, Tink counted down from three and they all jumped in at the same time. That’s when Mike remembered that the magical shortcut would take them all to the downstairs closet. Not until the water soaked through his shoes did it occur...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 14 The Magician

They came again in the early hours of the morning, moving silently behind the outer wall. They triggered the wards Yuki had set, causing the kitsune to watch their approach through the window with bated breath. She could see them now, ominous shadows that peered over the wall and then vanished, gathering near the entrance for their next attack. Yuki had spent hours building her defenses back up, her mind and body tired from the effort, hoping to catch some sleep. Now, she watched with eager...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 13 The Tower

Mike’s heart pounded in his chest at the sight of the thing. The Jabberwock regarded the small group of people in its master’s home, then opened its mouth to let out a cry that made him think of a pterodactyl on steroids. Jabberwock saliva misted the entire room, and everyone covered their ears to shut out the cry. Daisy bolted, vanishing down the stairs and leaving a glittering trail behind her. Zel made a break for it, and the Jabberwock lunged for her, leaving a bloody gash in her...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 8 La Petite Mort

“Are we ready?” Mike asked. The others nodded, each one at their stations. Tink had tied Beth to a chair which had been placed in the fountain, standing behind her with a knife at the ready. Abella was out of sight, watching from up above in case everything went wrong. She had explicit instructions to do whatever it took to protect the members of the house. Naia stood behind Beth, her lips a crooked smirk. “We are ready.” Cecilia said, standing next to him. Mike took a deep breath, taking...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 5

Breakdown in Negotiations Mike pulled his shirt on in front of the bathroom mirror, Naia watching him from the tub. He could see the look of concern on her face, knew that the question was coming, and he had no idea how to dodge it. “Are you okay?” He let out a sigh. “No.” “Tell me.” He didn’t want to. He never wanted to talk about it with anybody. Yet, when he turned to face her directly, he remembered that she was the other part of his soul. She completed him in a way he couldn’t quite...

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3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 9

The Fool The railing was smooth to the touch, as if it had been recently polished. She touched a knot in the wood, her fingers caressing the fractured ridges. Closing her eyes, she took in the smell of the place. The rich scent of oil, sawdust, and water from the fountain out back filled her with a swirl of nostalgia, causing her to inhale again, only deeper this time. So many old scents and a few that were new. Behind them all was the faint, faded scent of sunflowers and...

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Unforgettable Moments With Chandni

Hi iss reader Mastram is back with my unforgettable moment to share with u all,and thanks again for lovely feedback to my previous stories. To aap logo kaa jada time naa lete hue mai story pe aata hu,let me introduce to the lady her name is Chandni,figure 34 30 36 approx.Coming to the story. Ye baat tab ki hai jab mai Mumbai,Vasai shift hua mai apni studies ke liye mere ghr jo kafi time se band pada tha.Aur mai apne purane ghr aur aunties aur bhabhiyo ko bhi miss kar rha tha,but mai shift ho...

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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 4 Boxing Match

Sleep came for Mike, but it was far from restful. Unable to properly enter the Dreamscape again, he tossed and turned in his bed, his brain unwilling to let things rest. His first thoughts were on Cecilia. He could see her now, trapped inside a silver cage in the middle of a glen surrounded by waterfalls. Breaking the lock on the cage, he stepped inside—only to have her melt like wax in his arms and slide through holes in the floor. “Cecilia,” he cried out, her name slurring as if spoken in...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 7

Five Minutes Ago “You take me to the nicest places,” Beth said, stepping over a small, mossy rock. The world around them was dark, and the light from their cellphones poorly illuminated the forest floor. A breeze had formed as the cool, night air of Ireland blew through the portal into Mike’s front yard. The portal had been chewed into the inner wall of a crumbling home out in the woods, obviously long forgotten. “I do my best.” He stepped over a large rock and offered his hand when she...

2 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 2

Roommate Trouble Beth sat at the large dining room table with a small plate of bacon, some coffee and a large plate with the remnants of a strawberry crepe. She scribbled a few more words on a notepad by her laptop, frowning at the list. “Any luck?” Sofia asked, walking in with her own breakfast. The cyclops took the seat across from Beth. A few of the seats in the formal dining room had been designed for larger people, allowing the cyclops to sit comfortably at the table. As far as Beth...

2 years ago
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Wand Book and Candle Part 3

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3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 11 Painful Memories

Kisa stood in the kitchen and scowled at the pantry door. How many times had she wandered in here and absent-mindedly opened it? At least three times a day, and now that she was here again, she had decided to look through the whole pantry and discover just what it was that she was looking for. Her missing memories really bothered her. She had just assumed that something would come back to her in the last few days, but all she got was static. Vivid images of the old man stirred something up...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 10

Seven of Swords Beth said very little to the minotaur as they climbed the trail to the top of the cliffs. She could tell he wanted to comfort her, but there weren’t words or deeds to make the situation right. Her plan was to speak with Naia and Sofia right away, to see if either of them could offer her any help. There were only a few days to make her decision, and she wouldn’t be able to live with any of her options. She remembered when she was little, her parents started arguing...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 5 Man in the Mirror

Beth tumbled gently to the floor beneath, flipping her body at the last second to land on her feet. Staring up, all she could see were the clouds she had passed through on the way down. She had several red marks on her left arm, each one from a nasty pinch that she gave herself to try and wake up from this strangest of dreams. Now that she was on the ground, she saw that she stood in a beautiful garden with a large marble gazebo in the middle. “How peculiar,” she said, expecting her voice to...

3 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 12 Welcome Home

Mike opened his eyes, staring at the waning sunlight through the canopy overhead. Scattered rays were dying, a sign that the sun was sinking toward the skyline, ready to slumber until the break of dawn. The forest was quiet – a complete lack of animals meant that the only sound Mike could hear was the occasional rippling of the leaves as the wind brushed them against one another. Lifting his head, he knew that he needed to get back. Though his slumber had been restless, he had clearly slept...

4 years ago
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Home for Horny Monsters Book OneChapter 2 A Swing and a Miss

“Whoa!” Mike splashed water everywhere in his haste to get out of the tub. This time, Naia didn’t fight him as he scrambled out into the bathroom, covering up with a towel. She pouted as he slid across the floor, looking for his pants. Seeing that she hadn’t moved from her spot in the tub, Mike felt his heart rate level out, the burst of adrenaline gone. “Who ... what are you?” He asked, trying to keep his eyes off of her breasts. Other than the strange markings on her ribs, her skin was...

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Randis Vacation Part 3 of Randi

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Chanda Ki Gandi Chudai 8211 Part 2

Hum dono abhi bhi nange hi thay. Chalte chalte usne paad maari. Uski gaand mein abhi bhi haddi akti hui thi. Nadi kinare, jhadiyon ke bich usko bithaya. “Hug le saali madarchod. Kab se paad rahi jai bhosdiki.” Woh hugne lagi. Uski gaand se haddi nikal gayi. Uski garam moot ki dhaar mere pairo pe giri. “Saali maderjaat! Mere pairon pe mootegi. Saali raand muh khol,” main uske muh mein mootne laga. Lavda uske gale mein ghus kar mootne laga. Maine apni tange faila di aur wahi khade khade hugne...

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Home for Horny Monsters Book FourChapter 8 The New Girl

“Easy, kisa.” The familiar voice was thick with a Russian accent and elicited both feelings of warmth and sadness. It spoke to her from the void, guiding her back to the world of the living. The darkness peeled away to reveal a small dance studio with wooden floors and large windows overlooking a city. One of the interior walls was a mirror, and in the reflection was a young, black teen who sat on the floor, her face wracked with pain as an older man held her left leg in place while...

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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 7

The Naga, the Fox and the Wardrobe The door of the wardrobe didn’t move. Puzzled, Mike grabbed the handle even tighter and pulled again, but it still wouldn’t budge. The wardrobe felt like it had been anchored into the wall, the door completely immobile. Frustrated, he tried rattling the door when he realized that he had missed one very important detail. Right below the handle was a small keyhole. “Ugh.” He got ready to kick the wardrobe out of frustration when he remembered that he had a...

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Home for Horny Monsters Book ThreeChapter 8

The Hanged Man His chest was on fire and he couldn’t move. His limbs were super heavy and he couldn’t feel his legs anymore. Am I dying? Loud thuds like distant thunder beat in his chest and he thought he heard someone saying his name. His head cleared, and it occurred to him that he had looked onto the shores of the afterlife and they had looked nothing like this. A loud scraping sound filled his senses and he was suddenly blinded by a bright light and someone called his name. Oh shit....

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Wand Book and Candle Part 5

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Chanda Ki Gandi Chudai 8211 Part 1

Mera naam Rudra hai. Ek number ka harami aur besharam. Mera dimaag mere lavde mein hai, jo saala har waqt chudai ke liye uchalte rehta hai. Kasarati badan jo ghanto tak lavde ka saath deta hai. Waise toh bachpan se hi kaafi chudai ki hai. Lekin yeh wali sabse achi wali, ya yeh kahu ki sab se gandi wali hai. Main tab 30 saal ka tha. Shaadi hui nahi thi. Ghar mein rehta hi nahi tha. Naukri hi aisi thi ke sheher-sheher gaon-gaon bhatakna padta tha. Peshe se ek civil engineer, jiski degree paiso se...

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Home for Horny Monsters Book TwoChapter 8 Memories and Minotaurs

The sudden shift in time and position was immediately disorienting. One second, she was on the first floor of the Radley house, the world spinning around her. The next, she was running along a busted bridge, her legs not quite right beneath her. She tripped, colliding with someone else on the bridge, and they tumbled off together. Once she hit the cold water, her synapses fired all at once, restarting her brain and giving her full control. “Beth!” A hand swung out, grabbing her wrist, but...

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