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Mrs. Parsons was feeling a lot better, but still, she wanted to wait until the next day to go to the country club with me. After Elena decided to take the job, she left on her motorcycle to get her belongings. She told me that she had a green '63 Ford pick up that she'd be moving her stuff with. After she left, I went into the kitchen to have something to eat. Gerta was happy about a few things. She was glad that Elena had accepted the job, and that Mrs. Parsons was doing well again. She told me that we would be having a big dinner at seven, baked red snapper, filled with a Creole stuffing. This was a favorite meal for Mrs. Parsons. After Gerta fixed me some sandwiches and milk, I went out back, looking for Hans. I found him in front of the garage, giving the limo a tune up.
"Hans, Brenda said she wants to sneak up to my room tonight, to spend the night. Her parents think she's going to be at her girlfriend's house. She needs a ride over here tonight."
"What do you want, Kenny?"
"I don't want any more trouble with her father. I also don't want Brenda and me to wind up like Bea and I did. I really like Brenda, a lot, like a real girlfriend. Bea was different. I liked her, but not as a girlfriend."
"You don't just want to fuck her? Is that what you mean?"
"I don't know. I want us to be different. I like doing stuff with her, but when I do it, it makes her seem more like Bea to me. I really want her to just be my girlfriend. Except, when I'm near her, I want to do all the other stuff too. I can't explain it too good."
"It sounds like love to me, and you're too young to go falling in love with your very first girlfriend. In the beginning, you see your new girl as perfect in every way. You think she is everything good. No one can live up to that, Kenny. You have to treat her like a regular girl, accept her the way she really is. If you don't, you'll both be hurt and disappointed. Tell me some things that you already know about her. Things you don't like about her."
"Money, that's almost the only thing she thinks about when it comes to which boy she's going to love and marry. Plus, she has this friend that I'm worried she listens to too much."
"Money is important. Maybe it is better that it's only money she's after. Suppose all she was interested in was football players, or tennis players? Some girls like boys for the cars they drive, or the clothes they wear. If she likes money, maybe she is smarter than most of those others. Look at her mother. She could have had Bunny, but she went for the good looks and the football hero instead. This friend, is it a girl or a boy?"
"She's a girl, but she's pretty wild, and I'm worried that Brenda might listen to her advice."
"You're jealous, you mean? It could happen, but whether it does or doesn't happen, there isn't anything you can do to change that. You have to let her make her own choices. If she really likes you, she will only be wild with you."
"Do you think I should let her come over and spend the night?"
"It isn't my place to make that decision. You have to decide for yourself." I looked at him, thinking that he wasn't being very helpful.
I went back inside and sat down at the kitchen table, watching Gerta making the stuffing for the red snapper. She had everything in a big bowl, and was squeezing things together with her bare hands. I saw her break two eggs, and then use her hands to mix it all together. It didn't look like anything I'd like to eat right then, but I knew it was going to be delicious later, after she took it out of the oven. The fish itself was laying on her big cutting board already. I knew she was going to fill it with her stuffing first, and then put the left over stuffing all over the sides of the fish, before putting it in the refrigerator until it was time to cook it.
"Gerta, do you think I should sneak Brenda into my bedroom tonight? Her parents are letting her spend the night at her girlfriend's house." Gerta kept working on the stuffing. I was getting ready to ask her again when she finally decided to answer me.
"Better you ask Mrs. Parsons that question, Kenny. This is her house. Do you think she would approve?"
"No."
"I don't think so either. Gerta isn't like Bea, Kenny. If you were asking this question of Bea, she'd tell you yes, and probably offer to help you sneak her up to your room. Bea is gone. If you want to do the things that Bea would do, you have to decide to do them on your own. I can't help you that way."
I got up and went into the library, but there wasn't anything on television. I decided to go up to my room, to make a phone call, to see if Brenda was at Emily's house yet.
"Carstairs residence, Emily speaking."
"Hi, Emily, this is Kenny. Is Brenda there yet?"
"Hi, Kenny. No, she isn't coming until three o'clock. Are you really sending a car for her tonight?"
"No. Has she been teasing you again?"
"She said it was all arranged, and that she was going to visit you for a couple hours before going back home."
"I talked to her earlier, and she said she was leaving for your house over an hour ago."
"I just finished talking to her, right before you called here. She's at home."
"Okay, I'll call her there. Thanks. Nice talking with you, bye."
"Don't hang up, Kenny. Is she coming over to your house tonight, or not?"
"If she is, I don't know about it. I'll call her. Maybe it was supposed to be a surprise for me."
"If it was, don't tell her I told you, okay?"
"Okay. See you."
I dialed over to Brenda's house, and Richard answered the phone.
"May I speak to Brenda?"
"She left."
"May I speak to your mother, then?"
"Hold on a minute, I think I just heard Brenda. I thought she left already." He put the receiver down hard, but I already had it away from my ear. I was going to have to do something to get Richard to quit being such a dick with me.
"Kenny?"
"Hi, Brenda. Would you like to come over here for dinner tonight? We can watch some television and talk after."
"I told you I'm going to Emily's Kenny."
"Hans could come get you, and then drive you home after."
"I'm spending the night at Emily's, Kenny."
"All right. Do you want me to call you tomorrow?"
"Kenny, it's already all set." There was a pleading tone when she said this to me.
"It isn't all set with me. If you want to spend some time with me, come over for dinner. I don't want to do any of that other plan you have."
"Call me at three thirty over at Emily's house. I wish you'd think about what I want for once. Goodbye."
I had Hans drive me over to the club at around two thirty. I hit practice balls until five o'clock. It felt good to be doing something with a golf club again. I was able to forget about my problems with Brenda and just concentrate on making the golf ball go in the direction I wanted it to. I wound up hitting two big buckets of balls, and I got a small blister on the heel of my hand. When I took my clubs back to the pro shop to be put away, I showed the guy behind the counter my blister, and he told me I was holding the club wrong, probably too tightly, or else it was slipping in my hand. I told him that I'd ask Dave to look at my grip the next time I saw him.
I was back home a little after five thirty. Gerta told me that Brenda had phoned me three different times. I went upstairs and called over to the Carstairs house. When Brenda came to the phone, she was already pretty mad at me. She told me that I had agreed to phone her at three thirty. I told her that I hadn't agreed to do it, and that if she kept trying to force me to do things I didn't want to be doing, we were going to have big problems.
"This isn't what I wanted to happen today, Kenny. I didn't want us to spend the day fighting, and being mad at each other."
"I'm not mad at you, you're the one that's mad, and you're only mad because I'm not doing what you want me to."
"I already explained that this might be our only chance, Kenny. You never told me why you don't want to. Now, I'm wondering if you even meant it when you told me that you loved me."
"Brenda, I've already gone through this type of thing with experts, okay? I don't feel guilty, and nothing you are going to say is going to make me feel guilty. I don't want to be sneaking around like you wanted us to do. If you like to sneak around, you may as well go find someone else who enjoys it too, because I don't enjoy it, and I won't ever enjoy it."
"How did my wanting to spend time with my boyfriend turn into me being accused of sneaking around?"
"I guess when you decided that you could pretend to be at your girlfriend's house when you were planning on coming up to my room and spending the night in bed with me. Brenda, don't try to pretend that you don't think this is sneaking around. If you want to spend the night with me, you have to get permission from your parents, and I'd need to ask Mrs. Parsons if it was all right."
"Did you ask her if it was all right for Hans to sneak me into the limo with you?"
"No, but I didn't have to tell anyone any lies to do that either, did I? I asked Hans before I told you that he would pick you up."
"It was still sneaking."
"Okay. I guess I think sneaking is all right, as long as there's no lying involved."
"I think you think anything is all right, if it gets you what you want. When I want something though, you have different rules."
"Brenda, I didn't call you just to argue with you. I'm sorry you didn't want to come over for dinner. Do you want me to call you tomorrow morning, or not?"
"Are you staying home Monday too?"
"Yes, it's a school holiday. I have to be back Monday night at eight though, an hour earlier than usual.
"Emily and Gary are going out to the club with me tomorrow. We're going to swim, and then have lunch there. I thought you could come and buy us all lunch, and meet Emily and Gary."
"I might be playing golf tomorrow, but I'm not sure if I will, or what time, if I do play. How old is Gary, anyway?"
"I think he's either ten, or else, maybe, he just turned eleven. Emily is fourteen, the same age as me. She wants to ride out to your school with us in the limo sometime, so she can meet all those boys too."
"They don't usually all come out like that. They were only there to get a look at you."
"Really? All of them came to see me?"
"They were hoping you looked hideous, so they could tease me about it."
"That's not very flattering. That's insulting, to both of us."
"True, but we had the last laugh, didn't we?"
"How?"
"Now that they saw how beautiful you are, they're all green with envy."
"You're just trying to get out of me being mad at you."
"Brenda, you need to learn to believe the things I tell you. If you don't, we're going to keep having these problems."
"Kenny, if you think about it, and, if you're honest, you'll see which one of us gets their own way the most often. You only want to do the things you want to do, and, mostly, I go along with it."
"Okay, I'll think about it." I tried to think of all the times we had fought or argued, but it didn't seem to me like it was a pattern of me having to have my way. Our first big fight came when I didn't want to ask club employees about what her brother had been doing to get his club privileges suspended. The second big fight was when I wanted to touch her and she thought it was so she could pay me back for buying her all those lunches. The next big one was the time I questioned her about whether she was a virgin. I knew that she wasn't going to be swayed by any argument based on the facts. This was an emotional thing with her. She was convinced that it was my fault when we didn't get along, that I was the one who was being unreasonable. "What do I ask you to do that you don't want to do? What have you gone along with?"
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