Fringe BenefitsChapter 8 free porn video

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Bring donuts.

I stop at Dunkin' Donuts on the way into work and order a dozen random donuts, and a half dozen cream-filled chocolate glazed ones. Those are Phil's favorites, and he always gets his own personal supply whenever anyone makes a donut run.

Something is up at the office. We rarely ever have meetings outside of regular office hours, and the unusual time combined with the secure location can only mean big trouble at the ranch. I am in absolutely no mood for drama right now, and I can't help but feel a little dread in my stomach as I pull into the parking lot. I don't like conflicts at work; the everyday troubles of the job are more than enough excitement for me.

I make my way to the server room upstairs, swipe my keycard at the door, and try to not drop the donuts all over the faded carpet as I open the door. The crew is already there—Phil is sitting down on a stool in front of one of the server racks, Little Joe is leaning casually against the wall, Jessica is sipping a cup of coffee well away from the important server, and Adam is busy checking something on one of the consoles.

"What's going on, guys?" I drop the donut boxes on a nearby table, and Phil makes a beeline for the food.

"Mmmm, donuts. You're the man."

"Hey, Notes boy," Jessica smiles. "Have fun on your weekend out?"

"Yeah," I say. "Yeah, I did. I'm glad I went."

"Savor the happy memories," Little Joe says with a grin. "Happy times around here have been put on hold for the time being."

I shoot him a questioning look, and Phil walks up and pats me on the shoulder. Thankfully, it's the hand that doesn't have frosting on it. He takes a big bite out of his donut before he chimes in.

"Nick was made Grand High Poobah of the whole IT department yesterday."

"You've got to be shitting me," I say.

"Not a word of a lie," Adam says over his shoulder. "The Big Cheese announced it per email just before lunch."

"We're having a department meeting at ten o'clock," Jessica informs me, and her tortured eye-rolling leaves no doubt about her opinion of the event. "That's when we all get to pucker up and kiss Nick's ass. I hope you shaved today."

"Matter of fact, I did," I reply. "I'll be damned if I give that son-of-a-bitch the time of day, though. He's treated me like a brainless peon gopher every time I've had to deal with him. The man has an ego the size of a small country."

"Try 'continent'," Jessica says. "But he's your boss now, so you better learn to love that greasy, fat-lipped, ass-grabbing monkey."

Little Joe chuckles. "How do you really feel about Nick the Prick, Jess?"

"Oh, I want to have his fucking babies," she says without breaking stride. "'Cause, you know, brainless and greasy go so well together. It gets the womenfolk all hot and bothered."

"Well, that's a bit of shitty news," I say.

"That's the understatement of the year, brother." Phil stuffs the rest of his donut into his mouth and flashes a cream-stuffed grin.

I take a donut and plop myself down on one of the empty chairs.

"So what's the plan? Do we all just shrug our shoulders and secretly look for new jobs online?"

"I'd say that depends entirely on Nick," Phil says. "Let's just go to the department meeting and see what he has to say. If he has any brains at all, he'll realize that he can't run the place by himself, and that you don't get projects done by pissing off your worker bees."

"I wouldn't count on that," Jessica frowns. "Just wait—he'll try the stick before the carrot, because that's what he's been doing all his life."

"In that case, things are going to get interesting around here," I say.

The department meeting is not in our actual department, but in the super-sized main conference room over in the corporate headquarters building, where all the overpaid Blackberry addicts rub elbows while the peons do the actual work. This is a bad sign already—Nick sees himself as a member of the Inner Circle, not a part of the IT team. We file into the meeting room, and see that all the chairs have been stacked up at the back of the room, despite the fact that the room is easily big enough to have everyone sit in chairs with lots of space to spare. Nick is nowhere to be seen. We cluster as a group near the back of the room and exchange hellos with people from other teams. The mood is definitely tense, a roomful of people unsure of what the day may bring.

At exactly ten o'clock, the door opens once again, and Nick strolls in, followed by his entourage. He's a tall guy with a dark complexion. His eyes are droopy, and he always looks like a fat-lipped basset hound. He wears a dark suit, a departure from his usual khaki-and-white-unbuttoned-shirt setup.

"Dressing like a big boy now," I murmur in Phil's direction, and he shakes his head with a grin.

Nick walks briskly to the little raised platform at the front of the room, and sticks one hand into his pocket as he steps up onto his stage. His enormous gaudy gold watch is dangling from his wrist in a very obvious fashion. All that's missing is someone following him with a boom box that plays the fanfare from Rocky. Nick raises his hand, and the room grows quiet almost instantly. I can tell by his expression that he is enormously pleased by this.

"Good morning," he says.

"I scheduled a department meeting to let everyone know about the changes I'll be making. I'm your new Director of Information Technology," he adds with a smile, as if that information isn't completely gratuitous at this point.

"I'm not going to lie to you just to make you feel good. I want top producers on my team. If you're not a top producer, I have no use for you."

"'Top producer'?" Jessica whispers into my ear. "Where have I heard that term before?"

I think about this for a second, and then I have to restrain myself from slapping my forehead in disbelief.

"The fucking ERA real estate ads," I reply. "What do you want to bet Nick just went through them for his new house?"

"Top producers," Nick says again, this time louder for added emphasis, as if we haven't heard the stupid phrase the first two times. "We're going to take on some important projects in the next few weeks, and I want everybody on status reports. Daily."

There is murmuring in the room at this, and it's not a happy kind of murmur. Nick holds up a hand again.

"I'm not going to micro-manage you. You'll be sending your status reports to your supervisors, and I'll check with them as needed. I just want to figure out who my top producers are, that's all."

"Sure you do," Little Joe murmurs. Such a measure is usually done prior to a firing spree, because status reports give the firer a reasonably lawsuit-proof alibi. Nick is out to cull the herd, and maybe net himself a bonus for streamlining the payroll and saving money. I don't know what's more insulting: the prospect of having to submit daily "What I Did at Work" missives like a grade school kid, or Nick's assumption that we're all too dim to see what he's really doing here.

Even Nick has enough smarts to realize that the mood of the crowd is suddenly turning against him, and he holds up his hand again and gives us an entirely unconvincing smile.

"Look, we're going to set this place up to impress a whole bunch of important people. If we pull off the projects that are coming our way, there might be a bunch of bonus checks coming our way. I'm sure nobody here would mind some extra money, right?"

Of course nobody in the room would mind some extra money, but most of us know Nick well enough see his carrot for what it is. There are some murmurs of agreement, but they're mostly just polite appeasement. Our group is well in the back of the room, shielded from Nick's view by most of the department members, and we abuse our location by making faces and rolling eyes at each other. If this is supposed to be a motivating pep talk, it's an abysmally bad one.

"Such a people person, that one," Adam scoffs, playing with the piercings in his eyebrow. His chin beard is now long enough for him to braid it. The braid together with the multitude of metal bits in his face makes him look like a cross between a pirate and a Hell's Angel.

Nick drones on, but I have started to tune out, and I can tell from the restless shifting around me that I'm not alone. After a half hour, his blather sounds much like the unintelligible utterings of Charlie Brown's teacher: mwah-mwah, mwah mwah. Finally, Nick has decided that we have been exposed to his glory for long enough to be rejuvenated, and he dismisses us with a fat-lipped smirk and a casual wave of his hand. As we trot out, we can hear suppressed chuckles all around us.

"Well, that was fun," Phil says as we walk out into the street to head back to the parking garage.

"You know what was missing from that meeting?" Jessica asks, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket and blinking into the late morning sun.

"Um, a sudden blockage in the brain of the main speaker?" Little Joe offers, and we all chuckle.

"No, dummy. Who did you not see in the room?"

"Benton," I say. "You think Nick has already fired his ass?"

"I wouldn't put it past the guy," Phil says. "He has a history of surrounding himself with his cronies. Get them a bigger paycheck, and they'll stay loyal to you. Empire-building at its finest."

It's a little too early to go out for lunch, so we all head back to the office separately. On my way to my desk, I stop by at Benton's office and take a peek inside. Benton is not at his desk, but it doesn't look any different today—no cardboard boxes stuffed with personal things, no orphaned network cords bearing witness of a desktop support guy coming and reclaiming company hardware. Benton's name plate is still sitting on his desk, and his laptop is in its docking station, the green power light blinking.

I make my way to my desk and sit down, turning on the computer as I swivel on my chair and take a look around. There's the usual motley collection of user manuals and books on the shelves overhead, assorted personal paraphernalia strewn about my desk, and certifications tacked to the wall to impress the yokels.

I find myself pondering how I would feel if Nick and the HR enforcer walked into my office right now to escort me to the door, and I am strangely relieved when I realize that it would not bother me in the least. On the contrary, I'd probably whistle a jaunty tune on the way to my car. All the stuff in this office belongs to the company, save the diplomas, and I couldn't care less about those.

Jessica walks into my cubicle and follows my gaze as I study the crap hanging on the wall. There's a MCSE certificate, several Lotus diplomas, and assorted odds and ends from years of company-paid Geek U courses. If I stick with this job for another five years, there'll be twice the number of paper certificates on that wall, and I'll still feel exactly as smart as I do now.

It occurs to me that the path on which I have put myself leads straight to the end of a mediocre life. I'll always be smack dab in the middle of average territory, waiting for my real life to begin.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks.

"You know, I think I've been pissing my life away," I say.

"Oh, boy." Jessica pulls up one of my chairs and plops herself down on it.

"Thinking about hanging up the old pocket protector and going off to Key West to be a beach bum until the savings run out?"

"Not precisely," I smile. "Truth be told, I have no idea what I really want to do. I'm just pretty sure I don't want to be doing this." I wave my hand towards the diploma wall.

"I mean, what am I going to have to show for all this crap in another ten years?"

"Where else do they pay you sixty grand a year to sit on your ass and play with computers all day? I mean, so you think you're going to be happier painting stuff on sidewalks in downtown Boston and eating at the Salvation Army soup kitchen?"

Jessica leans back in her chair and props her feet up on my desk.

"I'm not too long out of college," she muses. "I still remember how much it sucks to have to share your pad with a slob because you can't make the rent by yourself, or doing laundry at the Laundromat two blocks down because your place doesn't have a washer and dryer. Nothing like having to turn down dope dealers while you're folding your undies, I tell you that. Now I get paid to sit on my ass, and I can pad my savings account and preserve myself for later."

"Preserve yourself for what?" I ask. "What are you going to do in another ten years? Are you still going to ride herd on some servers and listen to idiots like Nick?"

"Shit, no. In another five years, I'll be fully vested in my retirement money, and then I'll tell Nick where to shove it." She leans closer and drops her voice, even though we're all alone in the office.

"I tuck away half my paycheck every month, and sticking it in low-risk stuff with moderate and steady returns. By the time I leave, I'll have enough money put aside to do whatever the hell I want. This is just purgatory, Frank."

"Waiting for your real life to begin," I murmur.

"Isn't everybody?"

"Maybe so. But I think most people never stop waiting until that train has left the station. I don't want to wake up and realize that I am fifty and balding, and that I've been spending a quarter century kissing asses just so I can get a corner office and some stock options."

Jessica looks at me with incredulity, and then smiles in that lop-sided ways of hers.

"What happened to you all of a sudden, Frank? Did you hit your head under a desk out in California and have an epiphany or something?"

"Not exactly." I hesitate for a moment, and then shrug my shoulders. I need to talk about the weekend, and Jessica has always been a good listener.

"Let's go into the server room for a second."

We walk over to the server ranch, and Jessica opens the door. The room is empty save for the hum of the case fans, and the ever-present droning of the dedicated air conditioning unit. I step into the room and close the door behind us. Jessica grabs one of the rolling stools and sits down on it, looking at me expectantly.

"Alright, spill the beans."

"Here's what happened last weekend..."

Jessica listens to a mildly sanitized version of my weekend with interest, only interrupting me a few times to clarify things. By the time I have finished my tale, it's pretty close to lunchtime.

"So what do you think? Am I just irrational?"

She looks at me with a smile and makes a tsk-tsk sound.

"Frank, Frank, Frank. This has nothing to do with being rational. If you were rational about this, you wouldn't sit here wishing you were on a plane to New York instead. You'd be sucking it up and keep swinging the pickaxe like the rest of us."

"I'm not wishing I was in New York," I say, but Jessica rolls her eyes at this comment.

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Half awake, desire slowly infuses my soul, the realisation of your warm nakedness nestled into me drives the urge. My cock, stirring feels the heat of your ass, the smoothness of your skin, as I slowly harden and awaken. Desire turns to need as the realisation of you fills me. I draw closer as I start the slow seduction of your desire.I kiss the back of your neck, softly, almost invisibly and your breathing alters, I watch in the dark as your body arouses slowly. More kisses to your neck,...

Straight Sex
1 year ago
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Sisters 3 way

This is completely fictional... It all started on a saturday evening, I was suppose to go and spend the evening with some friends and my girlfriend but didnt want to drink. So I decided to go and visit my sister and her boyfriend for the evening. We were all sitting around playing games for a little while until our next smoke break, we went outside in the back yard to smoke. We were just standing around smoking when my sister bent done in front of me to pick up some leaves and while she was...

Incest
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Joining of Souls

Driving up the long windy road to the cabin Lori thought about Trevor and all they’d been through in the last few months. Before she’d left that day she’d left a note on the dining room table at the house asking him to please meet her at the cabin for a weekend alone just the two of them, now the bags packed, wine and tidbits in the cooler and a quick stop at a lingerie store she was still a good half hour from the cabin Trevor had bought her for their fifth wedding anniversary. She thought...

4 years ago
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Divorced wife goes on her first date after divorce

***To get caught up, you will need to read the first segment titled: My First Day Divorced. This segment picks up where that one left off***********So as the weekend came faster than I had hoped, knowing that Tracy had arranged for me to go on my first date since my divorce was final. I could do nothing but wonder, wonder what it was going to be like going on my first date, wondering how it was going to feel being out and with someone else other than my H***S***** sweetheart ex husband. See he...

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Mausi Ko Choda Aur Full Maze Kiye

Hello ISS reader kaise ho aap sab. Main iss ka regular reader hun aur iss ka bahut bada fan hun. Maine yaha par maximum stories read kar chuka hun. Maine socha q na main bhi aap sab se apna experience share karu mera naam sameer hai mai pune me job krta ho mai aurangabad se belong krta ho mere lund ka size ģina to nhi hai but more than 6 inch hai. Ye story meri aur meri mausi ki hai.Meri mausi jinka naam shifa hai ( name changed ) meri mausi ka figutre 38-28-38 hai wo 1 house wife hai. Aur unke...

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Down and Dirty at the Motel

Tiffany and I entered the boutique as best friends shopping for our boyfriends. We were going places tonight and wanted to look hot. The new dresses had come off the truck that morning and we wanted to be among the first to check them out. I really needed a nice dress, maybe something in blue and definitely a cocktail dress. When we walked into the boutique I saw it right away, feeling the silky fabric with my fingers. I pulled it off the rack and draped it over myself to check out in the...

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CuckoldSessions Quinn Wilde 05132018

Quinn Wilde loves her boyfriend, and she loves the fact he’s a cuckold. This is a great thing for some ladies. First off, Quinn likes being in charge. Quinn’s always had a problem with monogamy, too; in other words, she’s always been a cheater. Finally, Quinn’s a little freaky, too. Take today, for example. She knows cheating on her man only brings him happiness, so while he’s working out, Quinn has taken it upon herself to invite a couple of her fuck buddies over...

xmoviesforyou
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A Hour with an Angel

threw my backpack on over my shoulders to head outside, as I went through the living room I saw my parents sitting with a tall broad-shouldered man with too serious eyes and a gun tucked into his belt. A shiver ran through me and I walked faster toward the door. “Going out on our bikes” I called. Normally I would ask, but I didn’t want to risk staying. There was silence, then, my mom from the couch. “Clara… be home by four.” Four? Since when? Dinner wasn’t until six, like on the dot. I...

2 years ago
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The Making Of A Gigolo 2 Martha ThompsonChapter 3

She didn’t berate him for cumming in her. In fact, she was insatiable. She loved to cuddle afterwards, and kiss him, saying very little. When he got hard again, she cooed with delight, and pulled him on top of her again. This time, when he talked about impregnating her, she said nothing, and only hummed as he spurted into her again. It was only when they stopped for supper that her senses returned. She’d put on panties, more because she was sopping wet with his semen, than for modesty. He’d...

3 years ago
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Shivani Bhabhi Ki Thelathok Chudai

Hello indian sex stories dot net friends…Rahul here ..Aplog meri purani stories bhi pdh skte hai “Mummy ki palangtod chudaiyaan” mummy ki taxifod chudai” & mummy ki jungletod chudai”…..Ap story pdh k mujhe revie jrur dijiyega whther good or bad jaisa b apko lge meri email id ya hangouts pe – …..Male,female sbi story ko pdhiye and apna feedback jrur dijiye and ladies agr ap chat krna chahti hai to b ap meri id pe mail ya hangouts kijiye…Chliye ab story pe aate hai Ye story 2yr pehle ki humare...

3 years ago
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My Life in a Cage

My Life in a Cage By Tweak My name is "tweak" and I am being commanded by my Mistress Madam L to write you this story. She has given me the name "tweak" because it stands for "tit-warming-eager-ass- kisser". I asked, begged, Madam L to take complete control of my life for many months and one evening she decided that my request would be granted. As she began that fateful night she whispered into my ear, "You should always be careful for what you wish for. You may find...

3 years ago
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Me My Hot Girlfriend And Lust 8211 Part 1

Hey guys. My name is Veer. I am from a city from Karnataka. I am 20 years old at 5″10 tall weighing 68kgs. And my email id is “” girls,ladies,women can contact me for anything and also pls gimme feedback on my story. Well i am single now and ready for anything and everything so contact me Well this story is about me and my girlfriend named amisha(name changed) when we were back in college in PU1(it was 2013). We both were hardly 18 and we were known as the best couple of college. And as every...

1 year ago
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The Thornies Book Two A Beryl of Trouble Part One

The Thornies Book Two: A Beryl of Trouble - Part One By: Light Clark Chapter 01 - Jeremy - Off-campus Errr! Errr! Errr! The obnoxious buzz of an alarm sounded out over and over again, ripping apart the quiet dark of my room. I made no move to stop it, though. No, I just lay there, face down in my pillow, groaning at the horror of having to get up and endure another day. "Jeremy! Turn off that damn alarm and get up already!" my mom, clearly having had enough of my shit,...

4 years ago
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Episode 102 Sperm Donation

The Winchester Area Health Authority was running dangerously low on sperm stocks. Potential donors were much more likely to offer their ejaculations to wives and girlfriends, or other people's wives and girlfriends than trail down to the cold, dull clinic with only a deeply unattractive nurse and one dirty magazine for company.One afternoon after a particularly energetic intimate massage, Emma and Ellie lay together naked, giggling and cuddling, hatching an idea.“Why don't we dress up as...

3 years ago
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A Chance Meeting Renews a Friendship

I was on the crowded London Tube. A fair-haired woman who had her back to me and was pressing against me as was talking to her friend. Both had an Australian accent. One was obviously of mixed blood and had a beautiful light tan skin tone.I was fascinated as the fair-haired girl sounded like a girl who I believe I had known in a country town in Victoria.She still had her back to me when I tapped her on the shoulder and asked her if her name was Jenny.She turned and immediately recognised me, as...

Bisexual
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Lunch With Lena

The call from Lena was unexpected. Colin hadn’t spoken in a while and she made it sound as casual as she could when she asked if he would have lunch with her and help evaluate a job opportunity. As casually as he could, Colin accepted, they settled on the following day and he suggested an up market sports bar that was close to the midpoint between their offices. When he put the phone down Colin took a deep breath and sighed. There could never be anything casual about meeting up with Lena. Next...

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2 years ago
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Friendly Travelers Inn Room 212Chapter 9

Lois and Mike had drifted to a stop, mesmerized by the action on the screen; the departure of the players brought them back to themselves and what they were doing. Mike slowly resumed moving, discovering that Lois had tightened up considerably. "Um, Lois?" "Yes?" Lois turned her head to look at him -- was he done? Had the exit of their source of external stimulation made him realize what he was doing? "Can you, umm, turn over? I don't know if it'll work for you that way, but it's a...

3 years ago
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Babified Part 1

Babified By Cheryl Lynn Edward was a grown man but at twenty-one years stood only five foot five and weighed one hundred sixteen pounds. Due to his small size, thin frame and shyness, seldom had a date or much social life while attending high school. It was bad enough that he was small but he had inherited a lot of his mother's genetics. She was from Thailand and met his father when he was in the Air Force. He had her dark eyes, raven black hair, oval face and lack of body...

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Overnight stay

Note : This story is completely fictional! Liz pulled into the parking lot of the Angel Motel as she had on many occasions. Her job in the last year had been taking her further and further a field, bringing with it the difficulties of travel. She had tried different transport options in that time and now she regularly made the eight hundred mile journey back home by car; having lost faith with the airlines for a number of reasons. This had its advantages and disadvantages. Although she now felt...

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Daddy and Son Cumming Together

As I poured another shot of crown and we shared a shot of the golden courage and looked at each other. It was normal for me to drink but my dad wasn’t much of a drinker and he would only do a few shots with me. I would always take that opportunity to kiss him while I could taste the whiskey on his mouth and we would kiss deeply and suck each others tongue. I slowly pulled away and I placed the clear cylinder upon his cock and began to pump it up until he told me to stop. My dad was a...

4 years ago
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My big boobs neighbour

WeNow about the story, it is about my neighbour’s family. They were 2 old husband-wife with 4 c***dren. The eldest daughter was 35 years old and had a daughter. The eldest son was 32 years old and had a boy. The youngest daughter Aambika (age 29) had a daughter. The youngest son (age 20) was a really good friend of mine!My family and their family were really close. So I often go to their house to play with my friend and enjoy watching movies and playing video games. The neighbour’s daughter was...

4 years ago
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Dating My Sister

Lacy was the perfect woman, one problem she is my sister. Lacy has been cock teasing me for years; walking around the house in her nightie, bending over in front of me wearing a low-cut blouse on with no bra, brushing against me. Lacy and I were always close and always talked. She is a popular girl in High School and I am average except for weight lifting. She is 17 years old and I am 15. Lacy is a tall, slender brunette with olive skin, green eyes and a killer white smile. I had always...

3 years ago
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BUDDY TURNED FUCK BUDDY

I was probobly about 12 at the time when paul had just moved into the building.I couldn't stand him. He had spiky hair and a fuckin ponytail.I remember my friends mom making us go over to their house and ask him to come out and play basketball or some shit like that. I know for damn sure it was because she felt sorry for him. He had by far the most annoying voice that a young boy could have. I mean it was bad. Anyway he started to get along with everybody in the neighborhood and he...

2 years ago
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Fuck In Train Water SportsPiss Drinking 8211 Analingus

This happened several years ago. I was traveling to Bombay in first class coach. It was a two person coupe. Besides me there was just this lady. She was somewhere between beautiful and ugly. She was in her early forties. She had well grown breasts and attractive hips. Going by these two I imagined that her other parts must be equally attractive Since the journey involved two nights and a whole day, I introduced myself and asked about her. Surprisingly she introduced herself as a writer I had...

4 years ago
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One Of Those Magnificent Nights Filled With Sex

I have received a lot of emails on my other sex stories, which you can find I appreciate you reaching out. Here is a new story. This happened a year ago. It was Friday and I was just scrolling through Tinder profiles, swiping right on a whim. I live in Melbourne and casual dating is quite prevalent here. After a few attempts, I got a match with a girl. I sent her a really cheesy message and she replied. We started chatting and kept going for hours. Her name was Amy and she was an exchange...

2 years ago
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The Diary of a NIPgirl 1999 2000Chapter 43

I hadn't seen Illiana for a whole week now. She and her parents had been visiting family, and they had stayed the night over at those Aunts and Uncles homes. They traveled from home to home, to say their goodbyes to their family members. Sure, they would all see each other again, but for the most part of those next five years, Illiana and her parents would be staying in Spain while the rest of their family stayed behind. Late last night, they had arrived home at last and Illiana had called...

4 years ago
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A Weekend at the Cabin

Leaving work early this Friday was an excellent idea, and the long leisurely drive up to your cabin is really relaxing me, not to mention it is gorgeous. A long winding two lane highway, high snow-covered peaks in the distance, and pine trees blanketing the mountainsides. In awe of the beauty of it all, I almost miss my turn off. Slamming on the brakes, I swear under my breath at myself for my lack of attention to the road. I turn off the main highway and checking the odometer, I remember you...

2 years ago
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Mr Rogers ResearchChapter 16

“We have so many loose ends,” Tonya said over dinner. “What are we going to do first tomorrow?” “Hike a couple of miles, then run down anyone with a story to tell us,” I said. “I have the geek looking for any links we can follow.” “I can’t get over how easy this whole thing has been.” Tonya said. “It was just a pimple ready to pop,” I explained. “Put a little pressure on it from different directions and it will empty itself.” “What a gross image,” she said. “Yeah that’s me, no polite...

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