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Concert Series

There are times in a woman's life that never truly make since. Time that make you sit back and wonder, "Now how did that happen". Last night more than qualifies as one of those moments for me. I don't know why I decided I would go to the concert. I guess it's because the girls had begged me all afternoon. But , sure as shit I was sitting on the front row with all the other road whores. I was just sitting there drinking a beer when I noticed the lead singer staring....Wait, nah, guys like that...

Group Sex

The Arcade Series The Tower of Terror

The Arcade Series The Tower of Terror I was struggling. My eyes narrowed and my brow painfully tightened as Ibit my tongue, trying desperately to work out the schedule. Two many days-offrequests, with everyone wanting to go to Ren Faire! I threw down my pencilin disgust, leaning back in my chair and taking another sip of my MountainDew. "Jeff?" I heard my name and I turned to the doorway. Jacqueline, one ofmy staff, was standing there with a mischievous smile on her face as she leanedagainst...

The Arcade Series The DDR

The Arcade Series The DDR "Fucking idiot." I grumbled out loud as I continued down Westview Street.The driving rain was pouring down and as usual, it brought out the worst inmy fellow drivers. I admit I already wasn't in a good mood. I was on the roadheading back to my video arcade for an after closing meeting with one of myemployees. And it was a meeting she didn't know about. Disciplining an employeeis never one of my favorite things to do, especially when I like the person.But Becky had...

Predator Prey Series Teresa s Tail

Predator & Prey Series - Teresa's Tail by SirStroker88 Teresa Pearson permitted herself this one diversion. Itwasn't a very nice one but she had convinced herself that no-one was beinghurt, and more importantly, that nobody would find out about it. " Thanks for your help Rob, you're a dear," she called back to Robas they walked towards the supply closet . Carrying a ladder, Rob's attention was fixed on the rhythmicrise and fall of the young teacher's magnificent ass cheeks under her...

V Is For Victim The Organization Series 2

V is for Victim By slave ruthie Chapter 1 Vikki's nightmare started late in October - in a room at a very high-classhotel. She had been invited to Liverpool for a job interview after having repliedto an advert for a Personal Secretary. She was not to discuss the post withanyone, as it would be for a prominent celebrity. It was very exciting andher first chance of a good job since leaving school. She felt very grown upeven for 17 but managed to keep it all a secret, even from her family....

Sunset Place Series 2 of MM MM bareback

Sunset Place Series 2 of.. (MM MM bareback)Andy, my neighbor across the courtyard, unbeknownst to me, had seen me and Dan fucking in the living room a few times. One morning he invited me to go mountain biking with him on a local coast trail. We got on our cycling gear, I was wearing thread bare blue spandex bike shorts and a ripped collar T-shirt, Andy has on black cycling shorts and a white cycling jersey. We loaded our mountain bikes into the back of his 240Z and he drove us to the trail...

The Doctor Series Arshiya Gets Her Full Physical Examination 8211 End

I apologize for the delay in posting the final part of Arshiya’s physical examination. Thank you for all the feedback. I hope you will like this part of the doctor series as well. The doctor placed his hands on both the boobs of Arshiya. He started groping and shaking her tits. In the end, he gave a hard squeeze to both the boobs and pressed her nipples between his thumb and index finger. By the time doctor completed the breast massage, her panty was completely soaked in her cunt juices. The...

Subway series 1 Strangers in the Night

In that seemingly endless British sci-fi TV series, "Dr. Who," the various incarnations of the good doctor travel through time and space with the use of a machine that is, basically, a nice red British telephone booth. I suppose that fit the budget of the BBC, but if the producers wanted to be more believable, they'd have sprung for a mock-up of a train car from the Tube, London's justly famous underground rail network. I ride the Tube faithfully every time my wife and I visit London, and...

Beth a Story in the Therapist Series

Claire's next patient was Elizabeth Smith. She was a self-referral, which was quite unusual. Her file had only her name, age (31) and contact details – no medical information or history of any kind. Recalling that her last patient's name was Greg Smith, Claire wondered. Same family name, and though the name Smith is common enough, it was just possible that this was his offspring. He had said his daughter was in her thirties. While she waited for Elizabeth to arrive, Claire thought back on...

The Accidental Watch 8th in the STOPWATCH SeriesChapter 19

Meanwhile, simmering off the coast of northern California and in to Oregon, Washington and a bit of British Colombia, the Juan de Fuca plate had increased its movement from 60 millimeters to 18 centimeters ... that's almost 10 inches ... accompanied by outgassing (bubbles) and a noticeable drop in local sea level. The Cascade Arc of volcanoes were pooting and poofing a little more regularly and the forest was yellowing like mad. Fishing in the neighborhood sucked and boats needed painting...

A New Old Watch 9th in the STOPWATCH SeriesChapter 41

Junior didn't get away that easy. Wendolyn Too convinced Andrea to stick around awhile. Lake Erie was coming up next and navigation lessons were just around the corner. "A good USEABLE sextant isn't cheap," said David. "We're heading off to prove it." They all piled into a rented Ford Econoline Van and headed out. Everybody but Junior and Greg. They went back to the boat in a poke. The huge doors were blocked by a chain link fence with barbed wire overhangs on both sides. It was...

A New Old Watch 9th in the STOPWATCH SeriesChapter 51

And that's what they did. If it was fun ... they found it. If it was educational ... they did it. Cedar Point, Sandusky's amusement park had a carousel, the Laff-in-the-Dark, Rocket Ships, and Loop-A-Plane, rides that were new in 1946 but a little old hat on 1963. They rode the Wild Mouse, a roller coaster and the monorail, dunked in bathhouse, and rode the new Cedar Point & Lake Erie Railroad so they didn't have to walk from the middle of the park to the back. They walked the sandy...

A New Old Watch 9th in the STOPWATCH SeriesChapter 60

Chief Sanchez was instructing the crew on the now permanent changes to the Pretty Penny. He started in the engine room. David mentioned the space. The engine room was huge. "I always did like Rolls Royce. So we replaced the 1500 horsepower MTU diesels with twin 7,000 SHP (shaft horsepower) MT7 gas turbines." He lovingly caressed one of two titanium boxes. "The boxes are five feet long, three feet high and 30 inches wide mounted to the engine mounts. They were nearly 5000 pounds each...

A New Old Watch 9th in the STOPWATCH SeriesChapter 63

Aboard the Pretty Penny, the crew watched in horror as the explosion jellied the four men in the water. Wikipedia says: The effects of an underwater explosion depend on several things, including distance from the explosion, the energy of the explosion, the depth of the explosion, and the depth of the water. Underwater explosions are categorized by the depth of the explosion. Shallow underwater explosions are those where a crater formed at the water's surface is large in comparison with...

A New Old Watch 9th in the STOPWATCH SeriesChapter 75

"You what?" she screeched. "This is what we found in the master stateroom." Chuck and Chester held out a handful of assorted pinhole cameras, microphones, transmitters and motion detectors. "Oh god ... pitch 'em over the side." "We can't ... they are all plainly engraved, 'PROPERTY OF UNITED STATES.'" "Give 'em to me, I'll do it. You guys are citizens ... we're not ... sort of ... dual citizenship and diplomatic immunity, anyway." Reluctantly, they handed the handful...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S01 E03 Glenda 50

Series 1, Episode 3: Glenda The beautiful scenic views of the Irish countryside. We’re on the hills outside Londonderry in the north west of Northern Ireland. It’s warm and sunny, but a wind is whipping across the open countryside and causing us a few problems with our sound. It’s also causing a few problems for our latest subject. Her long blonde hair being flipped across her face. She’s middle aged but in good shape, her make-up is a little overdone, particularly her fire-engine-red...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S01 E04 Emmanuelle 19

Series 1, Episode 4: Emmanuelle Over the last three shows we’ve visited England, Scotland and Northern Ireland, which only leaves Wales to cover the four nations of the United Kingdom – and it’s to Wales we go next. A pretty girl walking along a sunny street. She has a dancer’s body – lithe and strong, with long legs and a narrow waste, slim arms. She wears ripped skin-tight blue jeans that show off her legs and little ass, and a loose, low cut sweater (when the interview begins this will...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S01 E05 Laura 36

Series 1, Episode 5: Laura We’ve been to England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales, and now we’re in the nation’s capital – London. In the district of Bromley in the city’s south-east. We’re at the council offices, a hive of inactivity, where civil servants do all they can to avoid serving the public in a civil manner. We’re in an anonymous office, looking at a fairly anonymous woman working on a bland file. She is overweight without being obese, fitting nicely into the ‘well-rounded’...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S01 E07 Sarah 32

Series 1, Episode 7: Sarah We’re back in the nation’s capital. This time we’re outside a large hospital. A small group of nurses are grabbing a smoke just off the hospital grounds. One of them – youngish, slim, and looking particularly good in her uniform, turns away from the group and walks over toward the camera. She has a wide toothy smile, red cheeks, pointy nose and a high forehead, all framed with silky brunette hair tied back in a long pony tail. She hasn’t the most beautiful face,...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S01 E09 Phoebe 25

Series 1, Episode 9: Phoebe We’re looking at an attractive young lady in a beautiful wedding dress. She has long blonde hair (with dark roots), tied back in a loose pony-tail. Big smile, she’s a happy girl on the best day of her life. Blue eyes, a narrow nose and a big forehead. The dress is tight enough around her waist to show how slim she is, and how shapely her hips, with a front cut low enough, and pulled tight enough, to suggest that she possesses a small but wonderfully formed pair of...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S01 E10 Nikki 42

Series 1, Episode 10: Nikki We’re in front of a pharmacy, talking to a big woman - big boobs, wide bottom, and a round (not huge) belly. A perfectly respectable shape for a middle-aged mother of two (mother of three if you count her step-daughter). Her hair is short and dark and frames a face that’s both happy and easy to look at. She wears a dark and light blue coloured outfit – work uniform. “My name is Nikki Hinton, I’m 42 years old, I’m a pharmacist, and I’m from Stoke-on-Trent.” She...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S01 E11 Frances 59

Series 1, Episode 11: Frances She’s a tall, slim and elegant mature lady of 59. The oldest we’ve had on our show so far. Short light brown hair (with perhaps just a hint of red) frames a narrow featured face with high cheek-bones, a pointed noise, and thin lips. She’s well dressed, well spoken, highly educated. “Hello, my name is Dr Frances Hardwich, I’m a psychologist, specialising in behavioural disorders, and I’m from Twickenham in London.” The interview takes place in her office. Her...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S01 E12 Annabel 24

Series 1, Episode 12: Annabel She’s a slim, bubbly, young woman with long wavy strawberry blonde hair flowing down over her shoulders. Her face is dominated by an oversized pair of spectacles which make her hazel eyes look huge. We interview her at her place of employment – a financial services provider in a quiet city center side-street. She speaks with a friendly, slightly high pitched Derbyshire accent. “Hello, my name is Annabel Simpson, I’m 24 years old, and I’m a receptionist at...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s1e13 Brandy 47

Series 1, Episode 13: Brandy We’re in Macclesfield in England’s north-west, in one of the town’s inner suburbs. A three story building consisting of half a dozen flats stands infront of us ... We step inside one of those flats to meet our next subject... She’s a solidly built middle-aged brunette with a round face, a big smile and a bigger personality. Her accent is rough and croaky (the product of a life time of smoking cigarettes and singing at the top of her lungs at every opportunity)...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s1e14 Jazmine 26

Series 1, Episode 14: Jazmine She’s wearing an off the shoulder top that shows off her dark skin and the colourful tattoos that wrap around her neck and run down toward her boobs. Her hair is shaggy, mid-length and almost black. Her face is wide and pretty, with a big forehead. She may not have looks worthy of a fashion monthly, but she would look right at home on the cover of a cheap men’s magazine. Her dark and sultry looks come courtesy of her father, a Pakistani heart surgeon. Her...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s1e15 Corinne 51

Series 1, Episode 15: Corinne A residential street in North London. Residents head off to work or to drop the kids off at school. A postie delivers the mail from door to door. We focus on her as she works her way up the street toward us – and then she’s walking right up to the camera. Dark blue pants, pale blue shirt, sensible shoes, and a high-viz vest. It’s anything but sexy. As she gets closer we can see that her dark hair frames very square, attractive face, with strong well-defined...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s1e16 Pauline 35

Series 1, Episode 16: Pauline We meet our next subject via a montage of clips of her at work – it’s in a laboratory, with her in a white coat and safety glasses, mixing chemicals and looking very serious. Her mousy light brown shoulder length hair is tied back in a tight ponytail and her make-up-less face is relatively plain. It’s easy to see why she floats under the radar of all her workmates. She stops mixing, turns to camera, raises her goggles so we can see her round blue eyes. She...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s1e17 Keegan 22

Series 1, Episode 17: Keegan The first thing you notice about her is the close cropped bright red dyed hair. It’s loud. Then it would be the piercings - a little silver stud through each dimple in her round cheeks, a couple of small rings through her left eyebrow, two more in her left nostril, and half a dozen through each ear. After that it’s probably the sleeve tattoo that runs from her left hand right up the arm and onto her shoulder. After all that it might well be that beyond all that...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s1e18 Pamela 58

Series 1, Episode 18: Pamela She’s an almost shapeless, anonymous woman in her late fifties. Off-blonde hair sits just short of her shoulders, spectacles, kind of plain faced. A chest you wouldn’t notice even if she was wearing a low cut top. She’s neither fat nor thin. Just – average. What she’s got is warmth. She looks friendly. Safe. Nice. She also possesses a grin so broad and gleaming that it looks almost fake and could make the most miserable old bastard smile. When she speaks her...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s1e19 Nadia 27

Series 1, Episode 19: Nadia She’s a good looking girl – slim and petite, with long straight black hair, olive skin, and a smile that looks like it was created for dental advertising. She’s almost playful in the way that she moves and talks, but between the jokes, the laughs, and the enthusiasm, there are brief moments where her mask slips and her true face shows through. It’s the surface that’s happy, beneath that, she’s miserable. Her accent is South London, flavoured with just a hint of...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s1e20 Janet 40

Series 1, Episode 20: Janet She describes herself as a roly-poly ball of fun who hasn’t had much fun lately. She’s not huge, not obese, but the description does fit ... Big boobs, a rounded out body, big bum and thighs all wrapped up in a blue nurse’s uniform. Her friendly, once pretty, round face is framed by long blonde hair which usually hangs free but is tied back at the moment because she’s still on duty. There’s a near permanent smile on her face – and everything she says seems to be...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e1 Taylah 21

Series 2, Episode 1: Taylah Big jaw, wide mouth, white teeth – that all-American look you’ve seen in a thousand high-school and college movies. Her firm young body is hidden under a big coat, but her long brunette hair is blown about as she strolls through the sixties futuristic Fountain Court at Murray Edwards College, at Cambridge University. If the jawline didn’t already give it away, her accent does – she’s from the USA, north-east, she’s comes from money and she’s well educated. “My...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e2 Carol 54 and Anita 52

Series 2, Episode 2: Anita and Carol We’re in a supermarket. The company name is blurred out on camera, but just about anyone who has ever gone grocery shopping in the UK will be able to identify it. Busy, busy, busy. Customers wander the aisles, select goods, line up to pay. Staff clean up spills, work the check-outs, help out customers. We focus on two members of staff having a chat on the floor of the store. Both middle-aged women. One blonde and pale skinned, the other brunette with a...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e5 Lavinia 28 disabled ex model from Norwich

Series 2, Episode 5: Lavinia A river flows slowly between the arches of a road bridge. We’re on the toe-path, walking under that bridge, with a pretty woman in a wheelchair. It’s a fairly built up area, and a constant stream of cars crosses above us, but we’re out of sight. The first thing we notice about the woman in the wheelchair is how skinny her legs are. There’s no muscle tone at all. Her mini-skirt so short that we can see they are spindly all the way up to the gusset of her white...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e6 Barbara 57 housewife from Barnet

Series 2, Episode 6: Barbara We’re here in a residential suburb of Greater London – lots of small semi-detached homes, wide streets. We focus on one particular home, there’s a couple standing at the front door, facing in our direction. He’s looking straight at us, her gaze is directed more toward the ground. She’s middle-aged with short blonde hair edging toward white. Anonymous features, frameless spectacles. Her blue denim button-up shirt and knee length black skirt suggest that she’s not...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e8 Jenny Tsung 44

Series 2, Episode 8: Jenny It’s a rainy Wednesday in Bermondsey, South London. It’s late afternoon and it’s already beginning to get dark. We’re at a small industrial estate consisting of half a dozen factory/warehouses. Nothing special, very anonymous. We focus in on the lights within the offices at the front of one of the buildings. Chinese lettering highlights that this business doesn’t cater to English speakers. Inside, we meet our next subject in her office. The interview portion of...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e9 Hope 18 schoolgirl from Belfast

Series 2, Episode 9: Hope We’re at Birmingham airport, waiting with the crowds for an incoming flight. It’s 09:50 and the arrivals board notes that the 08.55 FLYBE flight from Belfast has already arrived. We watch as various businessmen walk through the arrivals gate. Then a mother and her young son – not her. A couple of flight attendants – they turn and walk away from us – not them. Then the cutest young thing - a pretty teenager with a bright smile and long auburn hair flowing over her...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e11 Rachel 29 analyst pregnant from Croydon

Series 2: Episode 11: Rachel Quinn We’re waiting for our next subject outside of the large grey and blue block that is Croydon University Hospital in South London. A sign by the door we are focussed on reads. “MATERNITY UNIT”. It’s a cold and rainy day and we can only just shoot outdoors with the occasional spot of rain hitting out camera. A sliding door opens and she walks out, heading toward us – average height and build but with a large round belly stretching out the sweater she is...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e12 Roberta 41 housewife from Huddersfield

Series 2, Episode 12: Roberta Lee Fade in on grainy low light video footage of a slim and attractive raven-haired woman, in early middle-age, on her back, with a naked bald man on top of her, pounding away in the missionary position. She’s holding on and gasping. “Come on then...” She says through a smile as another man steps into frame, climbs over her head and eases his cock into her more than willing mouth. Both men fuck her for a few seconds until we fade through to... High grade...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e13 Frida 55 housewife from Hounslow

Series 2, Episode 13: Frida Forsberg-Carr In the opulent master bedroom of an up-market home. Shoulder length shaggy blonde hair and huge white toothed smile. What she lacks in looks she makes up for with sheer pleasantness. That’s not to say she’s unattractive, but she’s definitely a decade (or two) out of her prime. When she speaks it’s with the friendly, twisted accent of a foreigner – a Swede to be precise. “Allo. My name ish Frida Forsberg-Carr, originally from Stockholm, Sweden, now...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e14 Eliza 20 stripper from Nottingham

A sign on the side of a building reads, “Welcome to PussyKats, Nottingham’s Finest Gentlemen’s Club” ... And then we’re inside. It’s a cheesy, dark, noisy – BUSY - dive. Plenty of ‘gentlemen’ enjoying a drink whilst mostly naked woman dance (or writhe) on the stage and in a couple of cases, on the businessmen themselves. We watch one woman in particular, spinning around a pole, upside down, legs spread wide with a g-string barely covering her crotch. Under the harsh flashing lights we can...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e15 Amy 34 chemical researcher from Middlesbrough

Welcome to Middlesbrough in the north-east of England. Once an industrial city specialising in the chemical industry, the place has been cleaned up considerably over the last 20 years and is now slowly regaining its green parks and gardens. We close in on a city centre shopping mall. A hundred or so stores under the same roof. The Cleveland Shopping Centre. Inside we see shoppers shopping all around, but focus in on a married couple looking in the window of a pet-store, watching a couple of...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e18 Kristen 37 housewife from Birmingham

Series 2, Episode 18: Kirsten It’s a beautiful day. A brief montage of life in King’s Norton in the suburbs of Birmingham. Scenic views of narrow boats crawling along the canal, of Tudor style buildings and ancient pubs. We come to rest on a very nice house in a tree lined street right on the edge of town. It’s warm and sunny, and the trees are still. Birds chirp. In one of those houses, we watch as a casually dressed, pretty young woman with flowing red hair, tidying up an elegant kitchen...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e19 Sally 57 bus driver from Lambeth

Series 2, Episode 19: Sally Butcher We’re at a busy public transport hub in Lambeth, London. A modern red bus bound for Lewisham pulls up and stops – we can see the driver inside, an older woman with broad shoulders and a big smile. The doors open and all of the passengers get off, the driver follows them, making sure the doors of the bus close behind her. She has big cleavage and a big mouth - pale skin with ruddy cheeks, a wide nose and a lot of forehead – her curly hair tied back in a...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e1 Jess 19 student from Stoke

Series 3, Episode 1: Jess This week we’re in Stoke in the north-west of England. It’s a beautiful summers day and we’re at a large public park. We watch children playing, couples young and old walking hand-in-hand, a family playing cricket, and of course, people taking their dogs for walks. Amongst them all, there’s a slim young woman, dressed like an explosion in a charity shop, taking photographs with a big camera. When she lowers the camera we see a pleasant, angular face ... Thin lips,...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e4 Carolyn 50 journalist from London

Series 3, Episode 4: Carolyn Kings Place, London. The large, modern home of The Guardian newspaper – arguably the UK’s most balanced news publication. We’re not going inside, our next subject has asked to meet us just along York Way at Pret-A-Manger for a vegetarian wrap (or two) and an organic coffee. She’s a curvy, middle-aged woman with long wavy dark hair flowing down over her shoulders. You might call her fat, but not obese. Her face is dominated by a huge smile that indicates she is...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e6 Charmaine 45 teacher from Plymouth

Series 3, Episode 6: Charmaine We float in over a wooded area on the outskirts of a small city. Beyond the trees long curving estates, built in the 60’s to provide housing for the British middle-class. This is Plymouth, on the English South coast, and beneath us are the Parkway Woods. Our next subject is standing with her husband infront of one of the houses closest to the woods. We close in on them (drone footage). They both look happy to be on camera. Tall, slim, with sharp features and...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e7 Daniella 26 unemployed from Leicester

Series 3, Episode 7: Daniella We establish with a shot of a long, narrow terrace of two-story homes. High angle, drone footage. Not the prettiest suburb. Pretty rough. Nothing much to look at. Then we’re in the back garden of one of those two-story homes. It’s cruel to say, but this week’s subject is nothing special to look at either. You’d walk past her in the street without giving a second look. A plain round face dominated by thick rimmed spectacles and framed with thick dark hair in a...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e8 Maree 57 company director from Nottingham

Series 3, Episode 8: Maree Our drone is flying in over the top of the Wollaton Park Golf Club in Nottingham on a drab and dreary cold day. The sky is grey, and the trees are leaning slightly in the wind. We come to rest on the fairway of the 15th hole. Four players, two husband and wife pairs, are wheeling their clubs toward us. We focus in on the two wives who are walking together a few paces ahead of the husbands. One thin, the other more ‘bulky’. We close in further on the bulky one ......

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e9 Fiona 27 medical student from Nigeria via London

Series 3, Episode 9: Fiona We’re outside a modern looking, grey structure. All concrete, metal and glass. It’s mostly 4 storeys high, but a central tower stretches up three times that high. A sign outside reads, “UCH – University College Hospital”. Some apparently stolen footage – hidden camera style – from within the hospital. Busy, busy, busy. Doctors, nurses, orderlies, patients. In the midst of all the chaos, a thing of beauty. Tall and slim, her uniform indicating that she is a medical...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e11 Caitlyn 22 student from Penzance

Series 3, Episode 11: Caitlyn Welcome to the tight streets, narrow roads and tall shopfronts of Penzance, in Cornwall, England. An almost forgotten corner of the country, about as far west as one can go in the UK without leaving the mainland. We meet our next subject behind the counter of a small tea-room in the middle of one of these shopping streets. She’s a skinny girl with pale, pretty features and an extremely wide mouth. She could use a little time in the sun, and good meal too,...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e12 Kaye 38 former teacher from York

Series 3, Episode 12: Kaye It’s picture postcard, travelogue time again as we take in a montage of the historical town of York. The old wall that wraps around the city center, the train museum celebrating the earliest days of steam, and finally the Jorvik Viking Centre, a museum celebrating the historical attacks on the city by the Viking hordes from over the North Sea. We’re in the museum on the pretense of shooting a documentary about barbarians. We’re watching a slim woman, approaching...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s2e13 Stephanie 53 sex shop worker from Southampton

Series 3, Episode 13: Stephanie We’re in a sex shop – nothing big or flashy, but it’s not too dark and seedy either. Two aisles running from front to back – one filled with magazines and DVDs, the other with dildos and vibrators. The rear wall covered with kinky costumes, and at the front a single member of staff. There are no customers in the store, perhaps scared off by our camera crew. The member of staff is middle-aged going on old – wearing a little red dress that she’s really 20, or...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e14 Bronte 25 socialite from Hampstead

A train rattles along a raised section of track. Beneath it – a series of large Victorian era arches have been walled in to form garages and storage spaces. Grubby, messy and old. It’s the wrong end of town, very much working man’s territory. We close in on one of these arches and note a figure walking toward it. She’s immaculately dressed from top to toe in a tailored black jacket and knee length skirt combination, with a low-cut white top tucked in tight, the neckline revealing a healthy...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e17 Gillian 39 university lecturer from Bath

Series 3, Episode 17: Gillian Brook We open with a montage of the beautiful Georgian architecture of the grand city of Bath, near Bristol in England’s south-west. Then cut to a shot of the University of Bath. Hundreds of 18-22 year olds strolling around campus ... And among them, standing still whilst everyone else moves around her, looking right into camera, is our next subject... She’s a fairly attractive woman – soft features and a round (not fat) face. Her long blonde hair is tied up...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e18 Eden 23 law graduate from Bournemouth

Series 3, Episode 18: Eden Abraham Fade in on a young woman walking along a beach in a business suit, carrying her sensible work shoes in one hand whilst sweeping long brunette hair from her face with the other. She’s trying to make the walk along the beach look casual, but she’s not dressed for it. She’s strongly built, filling out her blouse and skirt, wide but not fat, with a big chest. She’s not a stunning woman, but her rounded features and welcomingly thick lips certainly aren’t...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e19 Michelle 44 former air hostress from High Wycombe

Series 3, Episode 19: Michelle Williamson Welcome to High Wycombe, a small commuter town just west of London. We’re currently sitting infront of a very nice two-story house with ivy growing up the front wall, and bushes in the small front yard. It’s quiet, with virtually no traffic on the narrow bending street. The house isn’t huge, but it’s bigger than the average detached home in the area. We approach the front door, shooting with a hand-held camera, and the door opens as we arrive and...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s3e20 Carin 60 retired school head teacher from Birmingham

Series 3, Episode 20: Carin Basham Pan around a large public park – grassed areas stretch away on either side of a concrete pathway. Dogs are running around together whilst owners watch on. It’s a brisk autumn day and the trees have already lost most of their leaves. The wind is whipping everything around. We focus on an older woman standing on the path and watching the dogs running around. Her blonde hair (turning to grey) blows in the wind. Her friendly face is warm and approachable....

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e1 Elizabeth

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Then we’re in a large carpark ... Hundreds of cars, shoppers pushing trolleys back...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e3 Robyn

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... Then we’re looking down on a busy motorway – cars flying by at 70-80-90mph ... A sign by the road indicates that this is the A127, and that the next turn-off is to...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e8 Rosie

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e4 Kathy

Series 5, Episode 4: Kathy Regis We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment, a little longer than normal, then our cartoon Charley arrives, a little out of breath, giggles, then beckons us to follow her as she falls toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the North Sea, off the north-east coast, in just a few seconds. We chase Charley all the way, looking up her skirt as we race toward the...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e9 Tara Carver

Series 5, Episode 9: Tara Carver (59) – Edinburgh We open with our standard sequence – a high altitude image of the United Kingdom. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy caricature of our host, Charley, floating infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping toward the ground, heading in...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series S5e11 Hannah Smith

Series 5, Episode 11: Hannah Smith (21) – Newcastle We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then our cartoon version of Charley, our top heavy host appears, floating with us for a second before she waves for us to follow her as she dives down toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the North Sea, off the north-east coast, in just a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, a beach,...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e16 Annalise Tsaro 31

Series 5, Episode 13: Annalise Tsaro (31) – Dover – builder’s wife, loads of kids, ultra-protected, wants to do something crazy and independent We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level in front of the White Cliffs of Dover in just a few seconds – and we’re already into live-action. From here we race toward the cliffs, but just as we expect to rise...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e17 Brigitte Christopher 42

Series 5, Episode 17 - Brigitte Christopher (42) We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the south of England, toward the massive urban sprawl that is London ... Reaching ground level in just a few seconds. We chase...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s5e19 Tiffany Black 36

Series 5, Episode 19 - Tiffany Black (36) We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – just long enough to notice that this week the shot includes lines of longitude and latitude ... Then we fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the country, staying on the zero-degree line of latitude ... Dropping toward the south, toward the huge urban spread of London ... Staying on that imaginary line – right into...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e1 Helen Roberts 47

Fake brunette plastic surgery whore Charley Ozvik sits on a couch looking right at us. Her big bolt-on fake tits packed into a too-tight t-shirt, erect nipples threatening to push through the thin cotton at any moment, the material so tight that we can even see the outline of the little golden bolts that are punched through them. Her shorter than short denim shorts almost disappear up her twat between those perfectly toned thighs. A big, happy, friendly looking golden Labrador retriever,...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e4 Becky Millington 32

We fade in on the face of a man – Mr Average, nothing to shout about, nothing to run away from ... He’s filming himself, selfie-style on a smart-phone camera. He looks excited and full of fun. He speaks, almost whispers, direct to the camera, in a mild Scouse accent, “Dear Charley, my name’s Kyle, and I’d like to nominate my partner, Becky, to be on The United Kingdom of Zoo – because she never stops thinking about having sex with dogs ... And to prove it ... Come with me...” He turns the...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e8 Renae Russell 30

We begin this week’s episode in the middle of a sex scene ... No dogs here though – just two slim, young, attractive women – near naked (they each have stockings and suspenders, one is still wearing a bra) ... Rolling around on a big white bed, kissing passionately, tongues pushing into each other’s mouths – mouths open so we can see the wet contacts, tongues wrestling in a very show-offy way ... They are clearly aware of the camera. We recognise the bra-less woman by the line of dog-paw...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e12 Catherine Harrison 29

Series 6, Episode 12: Catheryn Harrison (29), from Cardiff We fade in on the familiar image of our hostess, Charley, with her tattooed fake cleavage doing it’s best to escape over the top of a strapless red mini-dress, as she drives her BMW along a quiet duel-carriageway. There are more cars around than in previous weeks, but it’s still pretty quiet. Charley talks over her shoulder as she drives – talking to her passenger rather than to the camera. We switch to a second GoPro camera which...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s6e19 Sadie Fernandez 45

Series 6, Episode 18: Sadie Gonzalez (45) from Motherwell We fade in on a drone shot – flying over the middle of a small town ... Not too pretty, low rise, tightly packed ... Then panning around over a large, craggy area of parkland, before coming to rest on a large old-school factory. We hover over the factory for a moment, then cut to... Outside the factory ... Ground level. Our hostess – in a low cut top that shows off her fake boobs and chest covering ‘DOGWHORE’ tattoo – and tight...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e1 Lydia Lee 36

Producer’s note... “In previous years we’ve been accused of setting the bar fairly low for some of our guests. It’s always been the policy of the producers to find a true cross-section of the public – and show that no matter who you are or how you look – you can live out your dream of having sex with an animal...” “But this is a ratings game ... And our viewers have made it clear that they want to see the best-looking women doing the nastiest possible things ... So we believe that this...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e5 Bianca Woodman 52

Series 7, Episode 5: Bianca Woodman (52), from Sunderland We open on the kind of ugly post-modern concrete structure that was all-too-popular in the UK in the 70s and 80s. Low, oddly shaped, drab coloured. Attempts at landscaping have failed to make it look any more impressive. Light rain falls against a grey sky. Inside, we see council workers hard at work (for the cameras), before we come to rest on one particular member of staff, walking along a corridor ahead of us, a couple of files...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e6 Bailey Dummett 26

Series 7, Episode 6: Bailey Dummett (26) Welcome to Torquay - a picturesque harbor town on the English riviere. We float over hundreds of small craft and yachts moored along wooden jetties behind the Princess pier, before closing in on one of the boats. As we get closer a very pretty young blonde woman steps up onto the small deck of the boat. She’s wearing a bikini that highlights both the beautiful weather and her stunning body. Slim from top to bottom, with small but firm boobs barely...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e9 Rosemary Bramble 51

Series 7, Episode 9: Rosemary Bramble (51), from Canterbury We fade up on the impressive façade of one of the oldest and most famous Churches in the United Kingdom. The huge limestone structure, with its Gothic style arches and spires, stands against a grey sky backdrop, but the dull weather isn’t keeping the tourists away – there’s many a history/church buff here, snapping away with their cameras and phones – and more than a few of them are taking an interest in our camera crew as we film...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e11 Emma McKeown 31

Series 7, Episode 12: Emma McKeown (31), from Yeadon, with Casanova. We fade in on the exterior of an unimpressive, little hotel/motel complex. A purple sign on the wall reads “Premier Inn”. It’s a collection of two-level buildings, with sloping roofs and dormer windows. Neat and tidy, but nothing to get excited by. A car turns into the car park and pulls into a space near the entrance to reception. The occupant gets out – a curvy young blonde ... Skintight leggings and a little t-shirt...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e13 Mikayla Walsh 18

We fade in on a busy London street ... On one side of the street, a mix of four and five level Victorian buildings, three or four levels of offices and flats above shop-fronts. Red London buses moving past our camera. We pan around until we are looking over the street, between a few old trees at an old English church ... Then we cut to outside the church, panning to the left we can see the glass fronted PUTNEY PASTRIES, a bakery/café that’s attached to the side of the church – the new...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e14 Fiona Little 47

We begin with a mini-montage of a middle-aged woman at work in a little office. Sitting behind her desk, all we can see is her upper body and head. The first thing we notice, despite her wearing a loose sweater, is that her chest is enormous, big old titties that we can’t wait to see – those who can tear their eyes off her upper body will note her short dark hair, cut neatly around a pretty, but unremarkable face. Standing in the staff kitchen, making a coffee, she appears to be a reasonable...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e18 Paisley McKay 50 bodybuilder

Series 7, Episode 18: Paisley McKay (50), from Edinburgh We fade in on video footage of a women’s body-building competition. Half a dozen ladies lined up along the front of a stage, striking poses in the briefest of brief bikinis. Their toned and tanned bodies oiled up, muscles bulging – but not bulging so much that it’s scary, they still look feminine... A caption tells us that this is, “SCOTTISH BODYBUILDING ASSOCIATION – NATIONAL FINALS – WOMEN’S FIGURE” We move along the line,...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s7e19 Reece Payne 26 activist

Series 7, Episode 19: Reece Payne (26) from Yeovil We open on a full length shot of this week’s guest. The first thing we notice is that she has a length of duct-tape wrapped stuck over her mouth. She’s slim and pale, no make-up, shoulder length, loose, blonde hair – fairly unkempt. Dressed in a pair of loose jeans and a baggy black sweatshirt bearing the legend “ANIMAL WRONGS”. She folds her arms across her chest and stands there, glaring into camera, her body language reads ‘anger’. She...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s8e5 Alexis Cropley 54 bad mother

Series 8, Episode 5: Alexis Cropley (54), from Southampton An establishing shot of a large hospital. We seem to meet a lot of medical professionals on this show ... A sign reads, “Southampton General Hospital”. And then our host steps into frame infront of the sign ... Rather than the expected sight of a tight and attractive young lady, we’re looking at the rough-and-ready, overweight and unshaven ‘figure’ of a middle-aged man. All the way from West Ham in London, it’s the short, fat and...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s8e8 Bridget Hooper 18 from Norwich

We’re in a concrete carpark on an industrial estate. We pan around looking at the various buildings, noting that most are marked as engineering works, mechanics shops, window manufacturers, etc., before we get to the last building in the row – the biggest of the bunch – which has signage that tells us it is “Norwich City Trampoline Center”. We pan a little further and come to rest on the less-than-attractive, but very popular, ‘figure’ of our host. All the way from West Ham in London, it’s...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s8e10 Mia Perch 20 from Exeter

Series 8, Episode 10: Mia Perch (20), from Exeter An establishing shot of an old-school cinema with a big silver and blue “ODEON” logo above the entrance. Patrons are spilling out after a screening, happy and smiling, seeing our camera and altering the way they walk – getting out of shot as quick as possible ... Especially when our host walks into the side of the frame and begins her introduction with her soft Polish tinged accent as she walks toward us... In a tight t-shirt and...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s8e11 Ursula Bonvin 56 horse lady

Series 8, Episode 11: Ursula Bonvin (56), from Ballymena We open with an establishing shot of an idyllic country house style hotel, set in the rolling green hills of country Northern Ireland. It’s all white-wash and big bricks, dormer windows and chimney pots. We pan to the (mostly deserted) carpark, and see our host stepping into frame – this week, it’s Bradford’s bestial belle, Kimberly Milner ... Tall and slim, with long dark hair, and a red-lipped smile that few could resist. For a...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s8e12 Marissa Foggan 35 Crazy mother

Series 8, Episode 12: Marissa Foggon (35), from Crewe We fade in on a pretty anonymous looking street in a vaguely industrial looking area – then turn the camera around to face one of the ugliest office blocks you could ever hope to see. Almost perfectly square, 13 stories high, and made up of square windows. It’s a 1960s concrete and glass study in boredom. Infront of it, a carpark for staff. There’s a sign reading, “RAILWAY HOUSE”, suggesting the building’s original purpose, whilst...

The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s8e13 Casey Howard 24 dog fun fan

Series 8, Episode 13: Casey Howard (24) from Reading We open with an establishing shot – standing in a quarter full car park, panning around to look at a two-level, brick and glass building. A sign above the main entrance reads, “TRAVELODGE – READING” Business is slow, no cars coming or going, no customers entering or exiting. The only person moving is ... Our hostess... The dimpled former pornstar – and self-titled ‘best looking dogfucker in the world’ – squeezed into a white PVC...

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