Fun Times I Had (fake Story) free porn video

3 years ago

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The Girls Play With The Big Fake Dick

“Holy fuck, Paige! You said it was big, but goddamn, it feels like you are splitting me open,” cried out Robin.As Paige continued to push forward, driving the fake dick into Robin, she replied with, “Oh, shut the fuck up. You let Jake take your virginity, and he is bigger than this thing.”****Well, Jake should be honored because they both knew that he wasn’t anywhere near the seven inches in length and almost two and a half inches in diameter this strap-on was. Robin marveled at its size when...

2 years ago

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How to Tell a True Female Orgasm from a Fake Orgas

A Guide with Tips for How to Tell a True Female Orgasm from a Fake OrgasmA story of a typical female orgasm:I’m lying on top of my girlfriend, our love making and foreplay has advanced to where we are now, my hard shaft deep in her wet love tunnel. Our naked bodies are sweating together, moving together, joined as one both physically, emotionally and mentally as we share kisses while my I pump into and out of her.I’m connected to her through our genitals and through our feelings as my desire to...

2 years ago

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My Fake Mom BBBBTS

Buck's Big Boob Bed Time Stories....It was going to be another long summer living with my parents. I could not find a job after graduation. I wanted to move out. But I need to make some money. Both my parents worked. They were gone before I got up most days. They did not come home until after 6pm because of traffic. We live in a nice big development. There are a few house up for sale. The one next door just sold last week. I heard a moving van yesterday but I played video games all day online.I...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E15 Annika Blackwood 27 from Hull

We begin this week’s show inside an unidentified but impressively fresh and modern looking shopping mall ... Multiple levels of store-fronts with wide walk-ways outside. Down on the ground level, walking through the main entrance, we see our host – the blonde haired, white toothed, big jawed, fake-tittied, All-American dogwhore, Jenna McCartney ... And by her side, trotting along and looking super-happy to be here ... Her muscular, wide-chested, American bulldog, Cooper. This mall has a...

1 year ago

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ImageFap Fakes

Are you sitting there with your limp dick in hand just bemoaning the fact that you can’t jerk your cock to hot pictures of your favorite celebrities? I know, I know, it’s a fate worse than death. If only sluts like Mila Kunis or Emma Stone would stop being such prudes and make an OnlyFans or whatever. Long gone are the golden days of the Fappening. You cucks need more fap material. I know I’ve long since exhausted that particular treasure trove of fappable pictures. Though I still come back to...

2 years ago

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The Fake

Note: The author encourages unauthorised reposting, sequels, and blatant plagiarism of this work. THE FAKE By Wyrdey Gerry grinned as his promotion was announced. "This NeuTech deal will bring in more than hundred million this year alone, and it's all thanks to Gerry's vision and hard work," the CEO was saying, beaming down at him. Gerry glanced over at Frank. His co-worker didn't look happy. He was keeping...

3 years ago

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Dawn of the Federation Book II Darkness on the Edge of SpaceChapter 18 Hadrian

He desperately tried to maintain his stiff upper lip as his life came crashing down around him. Swaying slightly, like a willow tree in a stiff breeze, he listened with barely half an ear to the explanation of healer Lorat. It was infuriatingly calm, clinical and void of emotion. "I don't believe you," he growled, beside himself with grief and rage. "There she is, completely uninjured except for the bump on the head when she slumped over. If this is some skulduggery here, rest assured,...

3 years ago

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SRU Chads Story

SRU: Chad's Story By Bashful Chad walked into the mall and looked around. He needed some girls to come to the frat party tonight. So far he had struck out. Last year he had come up with the idea to bring back the party committee and party fund. He had been appointed party chairman as a result. This was to be the first big party of the new school year. Chad was a senior and he wanted to make this last year of college a memorable one. Chad stopped and stared at a little...

3 years ago

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Fake ID

"Come on Chris!" said Chris's college roomate Joe. "Aren't you going to come to the bar tonight?" Chris was a freshman in College. He met Joe in High School and when Joe got accepted to college Chris went ahead and applied. Chris wasn't much of a scholar but his scores were average and he got in. Joe and him both lucked out when they got the same dorm room, now best friends taking their friendship to the next level. Joe was a big guy, always going to the parties and the bars, always...

3 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e10 Isla McNamee 34

Series 6, Episode 10: ISLA McNAMEE (34) Fade in – we’re in a small lock-up garage – small and cramped, concrete floor, shelves and a workbench covered in motor-mechanics tools and parts. We’re not looking at any of that though – because between them and the camera, there is a woman bending backwards over an old motorcycle wearing nothing but a very brief bikini and a pair of high-heels. She’s slim and healthy – strong limbs, flat belly, obviously fake boobs, with tanned flesh (and no...

2 years ago

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Thad Madge and Tiffany Tim

"Thad, Madge and 'Tiffany' Tim" I squirmed uneasily in the car seat as I felt the filmy material of the dress I was wearing swish around me then felt the long dangle earrings as they brushed against my neck. "We really should be getting back, I need to get out of all this stuff," I said to Thad, feeling a little embarrassed now as we sat there parked. "You made it through the dance wearing a dress, what's another hour or so? Relax. no harm in having a couple beers is there?" he said as...

2 years ago

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The Fake Dick

I’d like to tell you about my lovely wife and the wonderful relationship we have together. I married Jeanne (the name I’ll use for her here) when she was 18. We had both just graduated from high school and hadn’t had any sexual experiences outside of the ones we had with each other. Now, let me explain a little about Jeanne’s appearance. She is 6’1″ tall and weighs a solid 155 lbs. There isn’t an ounce of fat on her large figure. She has...

4 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS10E15 Leigh Rush 38 from Plymouth

Once again, we fade in on our harshly lit bedroom set ... Looking at that ugly old, rusty steel bedframe, and the dirty mattress that’s resting on it. It’s an appalling sight, truly disgraceful ... It’s a bed that only the worst kind of person would even consider sitting on ... And yet we’re getting used to seeing it every week. Our guests, however, have never seen the set – because this was all recorded before the first episode aired ... And here comes our next subject, ready to see the...

3 years ago

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Do Ghar Ek Hue Shaddi Aur Chudai 8211 Part 1

Hi my name is rohit aur meri age 19 saal hai ye kahani ek saal pehle ki hai jisme 2 family hai ek meri aur dusri hamare family friend prakash uncle, meri family meh 5 log hai me , mom dad aur do behne, jo abhi pad rahi hai,aur prakash uncle ki family me 6 log hai wo unki wife aur 3 bête aur ek beti jo 18 saal ki hai abhi pad rahi hai… Ek din prakash uncle aur unki wife hamare ghar aayi aur papa aur mummy se baat kar rahe thy wo log kahi bahar jane ki planning kar rahe thy , Wo log chutti manane...

1 year ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e11 Melissa

Series 4, Episode 11: MELISSA We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on a busy street in an old English city - not a lot of food traffic, but plenty of cars...

4 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e12 Linda

Series 4, Episode 12: LINDA We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re on a country road, there’s a building 50 yards away in the distance – high fences all...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS5e11 Hannah Smith

Series 5, Episode 11: Hannah Smith (21) – Newcastle We open with our beautiful shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then our cartoon version of Charley, our top heavy host appears, floating with us for a second before she waves for us to follow her as she dives down toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the North Sea, off the north-east coast, in just a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, a beach,...

1 year ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e21 The Portsmouth Womens Institute

Series 6, Episode 20 The Portsmouth Women’s Institute (ages 50-60), from Portsmouth We open with a very simple and idyllic establishing shot of the front of an unobtrusive building with a little square of grass around it. A sign reads, “PORTSMOUTH WOMEN’S INSTITUTE” A small car park is half filled with sensible middle-class cars a Volvo, an Audi, a nice VW, etc. Trees rustle as the wind blows through them. Very safe violin music plays on the soundtrack and then The needle on the record...

4 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E11 Joan Burridge 43 from Leicester

We begin this week’s show with a tracking shot of a row of old shops on a wide street that’s strangely lacking traffic. Approximately half of the shops are closed, either boarded up or shuttered, with the names removed from the frontage. ‘FOR LEASE’ signs hang from most of the vacant stores. As we move along the street, we notice that the shutters of one of the vacant shop-fronts are being wound up – and a couple of workmen are standing by ready to work on the window... A big caption...

3 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E14 XXXmas Day Special

We watch a mini-montage of Ye olde English town, with snow falling slowly, and Christmas shoppers hurrying back to their cars with bags full of gifts – and hear traditional Christmas music and sleighbells... Then fade through to our studio, which has been set up to look like a fairly unconvincing Santa’s Grotto – with a couple of comfortable couches arranged infront of a large (fake) fireplace, and an over decorated Christmas tree, which is stacked with presents. On one couch – two sex...

1 year ago

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Gwen And Thad Visit Aunt Abigail

A social whirl enveloped Gwen after her coming out party. Several times a week she was invited to visit one neighbor or another. She sometimes accompanied her parents, and other times she and her brother went together. Still other times she went alone. Always, though, she returned home with her slit well lubricated and her sexual fires quieted for a few hours. Gwen and Thad were popular socially, for between them they could satisfy the most lascivious and rampant desires of men or women....

4 years ago

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Nobody Fakes Unconscious Aftershocks

'Nobody Fakes Unconscious Aftershocks.' Was written on his shirt above his left pectoral. I had to lean fairly close to read it, and I noticed my nostrils flared slightly at his scent. Rolling the phrase around in my mind, I glanced up at his eyes just as the image came into my mind. He saw the flush spread over my chest, of course, because he was the kind of a guy who never missed signals of any kind from a woman. "Would you care to elucidate that, a little?" I pointed with my chin, not...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess2e13 Stephanie 53 sex shop worker from Southampton

Series 3, Episode 13: Stephanie We’re in a sex shop – nothing big or flashy, but it’s not too dark and seedy either. Two aisles running from front to back – one filled with magazines and DVDs, the other with dildos and vibrators. The rear wall covered with kinky costumes, and at the front a single member of staff. There are no customers in the store, perhaps scared off by our camera crew. The member of staff is middle-aged going on old – wearing a little red dress that she’s really 20, or...

3 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e14 Lauren

Series 4, Episode 14: LAUREN We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new - we’re in a semi-industrial, run down old part of town. Clearly an area that’s seen better days. Half of the factory units/shops around here are locked up with ‘TO LET’ signs stating, ‘LOW RENT’. Despite being half closed, there’s a good number of vans driving...

3 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e8 Renae Russell 30

We begin this week’s episode in the middle of a sex scene ... No dogs here though – just two slim, young, attractive women – near naked (they each have stockings and suspenders, one is still wearing a bra) ... Rolling around on a big white bed, kissing passionately, tongues pushing into each other’s mouths – mouths open so we can see the wet contacts, tongues wrestling in a very show-offy way ... They are clearly aware of the camera. We recognise the bra-less woman by the line of dog-paw...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess7e18 Paisley McKay 50 bodybuilder

Series 7, Episode 18: Paisley McKay (50), from Edinburgh We fade in on video footage of a women’s body-building competition. Half a dozen ladies lined up along the front of a stage, striking poses in the briefest of brief bikinis. Their toned and tanned bodies oiled up, muscles bulging – but not bulging so much that it’s scary, they still look feminine... A caption tells us that this is, “SCOTTISH BODYBUILDING ASSOCIATION – NATIONAL FINALS – WOMEN’S FIGURE” We move along the line,...

3 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E01 Christina Bruce 42 from Belfast

With series 12 completed, we roll straight through into series 13 - the same hosts, doing the same things all over again ... Aren’t we getting bored of this yet? Well, it appears not ... So... We start this week’s show with establishing shots of quiet suburban streets – semi-detached homes, very middle class and safe... And then, stepping into frame from the side, moving from behind the camera to infront - this week’s host ... Still the nation’s least likely sex symbol – short, fat,...

4 years ago

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Mother Mates Gwen And Thad

Her education at Gracely House unleashed desires that Gwen had never known. Shortly after returning home to Markham Hall, she felt alone and increasingly horny. She tried to satisfy herself with her fingers in bed or in the woods, but that was only a temporary solution. Her desire for the hard thrusting of a man between her legs was growing. Thus it was with surging hormones and above-average curiosity that she knocked at her mother's bedroom door. "Come to my room at 10 o'clock," Mrs....

4 years ago

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The Orchid The Storyteller

This story is an allegory of a real life relationship that developed in my life. It helped me cope with disappointment, and to perhaps be better able to accept the reality that had crashed upon my infatuated fantasy. I cope with the friendship better now, having decided that staying a part of her life is better than nothing, yet there are times when the attraction is still magnetic. I’m sure there are many of you out there who have experienced such a thing and perhaps this will give you a...

2 years ago

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Hades Ch 01

Author’s note: This is my own retelling of a very common story, that of Hades and Persephone. This is my most favorite mythological love story. I’ve always identified with the transformation from innocent girl, Kore, to dark queen of the underworld, Persephone, and Hades is the ultimate strong male-love that. It’s more about passionate burning love than sex, though I plan on inserting more erotica into any further installments if there is an interest. Please feel free to let me know what you...

3 years ago

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Nights of Alsitor Hades Persephone II

Persephone gently pushed Hades away and stepped back, his hands reluctantly sliding from her flesh. She turned and walked toward the gate behind her. Still on his knees, he stared enthralled at the coxinant twists of her retreating buttocks. His callipygian captor paused and looked back at him and gave one word. "Follow." Hades scrambled to his feet and was fast on her heels, even as she retreated into a long, unlit tunnel. He followed her into darkness so thick he couldn't see his own hands,...

2 years ago

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Hades Ch 04

Gifts of every decadent form began arriving at the estate of Kore’s foster family that morning. Fragrant floral arrangements, statues in effigy of the soon-to-be betrothed, sweets filled with nectar and honey and nuts, pastries piled high on Long tables, silk fabrics of every jewel tone hue imaginable. All of these had been streaming in for days, trumpeting the arrival of the prosperous Certese family. The servants worked for days cleaning, cooking and creating a fitting house to greet the...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS10E07 Donna Paterson 50 from Belfast

S10:E07: Donna Paterson (50), from Belfast We fade in on sleazy dark set. A single spotlight illuminates a steel-frame bed – no bedclothes or pillows, just that stained old mattress. It looks cold and dirty – it needs a hot woman to warm it up... There’s a clicking of heels as this week’s guest walks onto the set. She arrives in the pool of light and we see that she is a middle-aged lady, quite trim for her age, clearly doing plenty to stay fit. She’s also somewhat eclectic in her style...

3 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e04 Amelia McKinnon 23 from Boston

We start this edition of the show with establishing shots of a large, colourful industrial unit ... The words “PLAYVILLE” painted on the exterior in large curved and friendly letters. As we pan along the front of the building, we come to rest on our horny hostess – ex-pornstar, Renae Russell, and her blue-grey Weimaraner dog... Renae’s fake tits are squeezed together in another tight mini-dress, showing off her arse, legs, and (of course) her amazing and obviously fake bolt-on boobs as she...

1 year ago

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Chaddi Me Haddi

Hi friends its Sumit Bang back with a new series of stories for you. After overwhelming support by all the ISS readers I owe a ton of thanks to them. This series is a story of a part of my sex life and as the story is little bit long so it will be presented in parts. I’m also thankful to ISS for providing such platform which helped me to get in contact fuck many girls and aunties. So coming to the story this story is about my friend vrush (name changed). Being in an engineering college I met...

4 years ago

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Khyali Pullao Fake Story

Hello friends this a Mature woman from Pakistan who wants to narrate her life story to all of you.I am 24 years old lady and have been married since 17 years but still not any children. We tried for it but couldn’t get any child I have fantastic figures, which gives me marvelous looks either from front or back. I have big firm breast and wide soft ass.My husband loved me very much. This story begins before 8 years. When we were living in Lahore. Due to my illness my husband arranged a boy named...

2 years ago

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Nights of Alsitor Hades Persephone

Hades gritted his teeth, fingers twitching at his side. He was panting, drips of sweat running down his bare back, his shoulders, his forehead, soaking the blindfold. It annoyed him, though it was fine silk, he fought the impulse to take it off. He had been preparing for this night, deep in the caves that span the foundations of the Alsitor mountain range, and his role as [prisoner/guest/slave/student] was not one he had volunteered for without heavy consideration. He didn't blame his beloved...

3 years ago

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FAKE REPORT REVEALS ALL

by aliveinpr My stories do not necessarily reflect my personal proclivities, desires, wants or fantasies. Read and enjoy. It was a slow Tuesday and I decided to leave work early. It was 3 pm and thought I could take advantage of three hours and get some work done around the house. When I got to the house, there was a strange car parked in my driveway. My curiosity got the best of me and I quietly entered the house and heard what sounded like my wife’s voice. I kept hearing, “YES,...

3 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess2e5 Lavinia 28 disabled exmodel from Norwich

Series 2, Episode 5: Lavinia A river flows slowly between the arches of a road bridge. We’re on the toe-path, walking under that bridge, with a pretty woman in a wheelchair. It’s a fairly built up area, and a constant stream of cars crosses above us, but we’re out of sight. The first thing we notice about the woman in the wheelchair is how skinny her legs are. There’s no muscle tone at all. Her mini-skirt so short that we can see they are spindly all the way up to the gusset of her white...

1 year ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e17 Gillian 39 university lecturer from Bath

Series 3, Episode 17: Gillian Brook We open with a montage of the beautiful Georgian architecture of the grand city of Bath, near Bristol in England’s south-west. Then cut to a shot of the University of Bath. Hundreds of 18-22 year olds strolling around campus ... And among them, standing still whilst everyone else moves around her, looking right into camera, is our next subject... She’s a fairly attractive woman – soft features and a round (not fat) face. Her long blonde hair is tied up...

4 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

4 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e20 Monika Matysik 23 Martyna Matysik 24

Series 5, Episode 20: Monika (23) and Martyna Matysik (24) sisters from Walsall, originally Poznan. We open on an ultra-long-shot ... Our animated image going a step further back to show the whole of the planet ... And then an over-the-top burst of Rule Britannia sounding out over the top as the Earth turns and the United Kingdom comes into focus below us ... Then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, with the music playing all the way down ... Heading toward the middle of the country...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e1 Helen Roberts 47

Fake brunette plastic surgery whore Charley Ozvik sits on a couch looking right at us. Her big bolt-on fake tits packed into a too-tight t-shirt, erect nipples threatening to push through the thin cotton at any moment, the material so tight that we can even see the outline of the little golden bolts that are punched through them. Her shorter than short denim shorts almost disappear up her twat between those perfectly toned thighs. A big, happy, friendly looking golden Labrador retriever,...

3 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e2 Raquel Ferdinand 33

We’re looking at the pretty but increasingly fake features of our hostess – Charley Ozvik. Her nose a little too slim and pointy, her jaw too defined, her teeth too perfect. There’s not a line on her face and when she talks her face barely moves. It’s a little like watching a Thunderbird puppet talking. A very sexy Thunderbird puppet! She’s wearing a tight blouse, the top few buttons undone to show off plenty of her fake cleavage and fragments of a huge tattoo that’s across her chest....

4 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e6 Julie Durand 29

Hand-held footage – a female hand reaches infront of us and opens a door – a big, light coloured long-haired Labrador, a golden retriever, races past us and bounds out into the room beyond – it’s a garage. A female voice – a familiar voice – with a Manchester accent, says (to him), “Yes ... We’re going for a little drive ... One of your favourite drives ... Yes... !” She opens one of the rear doors of the car, and the dog leaps in, his hindpaws scraping the leather of the seats as he heaves...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess7e1 Lydia Lee 36

Producer’s note... “In previous years we’ve been accused of setting the bar fairly low for some of our guests. It’s always been the policy of the producers to find a true cross-section of the public – and show that no matter who you are or how you look – you can live out your dream of having sex with an animal...” “But this is a ratings game ... And our viewers have made it clear that they want to see the best-looking women doing the nastiest possible things ... So we believe that this...

3 years ago

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Master Pc the James Olsen Saga Part IIChapter 17 Head Fake

“OK, gentlemen, our agent is in place,” Agent Friday said to the men and women in the conference room. “By making Jim Olsen focus on his wife, we’ve been able to distract him from the real threat, in this case, Cheri Langston. That’s called a ‘head fake.’” “We get it, Joe. What’s next?” “We wait. By now, Cheri should have put the file we gave her on the target’s home computer, or if she hasn’t, she will have by tomorrow. Then, if he hires her as his assistant, we’ll be able to infect his...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

3 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS10 E11 Carol Gilley 52 from Newport

Once more we fade in on our darkened ‘bedroom’ set. A rusty old metal bedframe, with headboard and footboard, plus a dirty, threadbare mattress laying on squeaky springs. There are no sheets, no blankets, and no pillows – just stains, mostly caused by our the guests who have appeared on the show this year. We pull back from these stains and turn to the side of the set – looking into the darkness of the unlit depths of the room as a figure approaches, feet clicking, or clomping, on the...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11E01 Jenna McCartney 45

Jenna McCartney (45), from Chicago (USA), at the Radisson Blu Hotel, Manchester Airport. We open this edition, the first of the new series, with the classic shot of an aeroplane coming in to land at a large airport. Then we cut to look at an arrivals board, seeing the numbers flickering over to confirm that flight BA100 from New York has arrived ... Then we’re watching the skyway as passengers shuffle along with that ‘8 hours on a plane’ look ... Focusing in on one particular passenger – and...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11 E06 Lucinda Glass 46 from Middlesbrough

We start this week’s show with establishing footage from our drone camera as it flies over a large area of well-appointed parkland – bowling greens, rows of trees in large curves, recently mown lawns, a children’s play park, over a small lake, more trees and then down to the neat semi-detached houses beyond... Dropping all the way down to street level, bringing our host into view – a white speck on the pavement at first, then as we get closer – a nicer, more attractive speck ... Closer...

1 year ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS11 E15 Marnie Coburn 43 from Blackburn

We start this week’s show with a drone shot, flying over endless terraces streets of old homes. Black roofs, barely a solar panel in sight, narrow streets crowded with parked cars... Then we cut to ground level in one of those narrow streets, seeing the cars parked on the pavement on either side, giving just enough room for another car to squeeze through. Terraced two-story houses line either side of the street, behind small walls that protect about a meter of concrete rather than a...

4 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

3 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e13 Claire Domi 52 from Reading

We’re rolling along a narrow country lane, trees and hedgerows on both sides of the road, every few seconds a gateway cuts through the hedgerows – high steel gates, with brick gateposts – and behind those gates, well-kept driveways that curve away out of sight. We slow and turn into one of those driveways, the gates already open to welcome us – then the gravel crackling under our tyres as we curve up the drive and a large house comes into view ... Very impressive, very expensive. Several...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E11 Lara Bodin 53 from Tamworth WM

We start this week’s show inside a van, filming out of the front windscreen as we head along a dual-carriageway ... Dark gray road, light gray sky, black leaf-less trees whizzing by on either side us. We race on at the speed limit for a few seconds, then suddenly jam the brakes on just in time to turn off the main road directly into the driveway of a badly placed house. It’s a large red-brick and white-wash home with a steeply pitched roof – and there’s already one car in the short driveway...

4 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14 E05 Annette Bogle 44 from Truro with Jenna

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a touristy little street of terraced stone buildings. Shopfronts with apartments above – restaurants, gift-shops, etc. There are two lanes of traffic – one parked, the other moving smoothly - all facing/moving in the same direction. Walking up the street toward us, a blonde sex-bomb – her fantastic body wrapped in the tightest red mini-dress ... She’s big tits and blonde hair, white teeth and a strong jaw, it’s our hostess, the...

4 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E16 Patsy McCaffery 29 from Dundee Scotland

We’re on a quiet residential street. Modern brick semi-detached homes line one side of the road infront of us – very pleasant. We turn through 180 degrees and we’re facing the countryside ... Fields stretching away to the distance up a hill side, a line of trees along the ridge of the hill/end of the field. Then we pan back to the street – where we can now see our host looking right into camera. Giving us a dimple-cheeked smile and flipping her long, brunette ringlets back over her...