The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e16 Olivia
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We start this edition of the show with establishing shots of a large, colourful industrial unit ... The words “PLAYVILLE” painted on the exterior in large curved and friendly letters.
As we pan along the front of the building, we come to rest on our horny hostess – ex-pornstar, Renae Russell, and her blue-grey Weimaraner dog...
Renae’s fake tits are squeezed together in another tight mini-dress, showing off her arse, legs, and (of course) her amazing and obviously fake bolt-on boobs as she delivers her opening dialogue to the camera like a pro. Sounding likes she’s been on tv her whole life.
“Hello, and welcome to sunny Boston ... I’m Renae Russell, and I’m out here, so far from the excitement of the big cities, where the locals don’t have too much to entertain them – and this week’s guest in no exception...”
We cut inside the children’s play-center to see a hundred 4-10 year-olds charging around enjoying climbing frames, trampolines, slides, and sitting in big beanbag chairs stuffing down a plentiful supply of sugary snacks. In one corner of the unit, a collection of tables – recently semi-destroyed by a locust-like 6th birthday party, with two women tidying up.
Renae’s introduction continues in voice-over (she wasn’t allowed inside whilst parents were present for feat that they would complain about their children being exposed to such an infamous dog-fucker). “By day, she entertains local children here at ‘Playville’, but by night she seeks her own fun...”
One of the two women on tidy-up duty looks up into camera at this exact moment, almost as if she heard the last comment ... With her shoulder length, cherry blonde hair (more cherry than blonde if we’re honest), and her pale freckled skin, she looks like she should spend more time outside, but other than that she’s reasonably tall, quite slim, and appears to have a reasonable pair of boobs stretching out the front of her uniform polo-shirt. Not big, but big enough.
She introduces herself in voice-over, her voice loud and clear, very friendly – the life of the party, the kid’s party that is. “My name is Amelia McKinnon, I’m 23 years old and I’m from Boston in Lincolnshire ... I work with children, I’m very responsible and ... And I’ve been thinking about having sex with a dog since I was a little girl...”
Then we cut to a lot later – we’re still in the party-room at Playville, but there’s no longer any children here, and everything has been tidied up. We pan around the room to confirm that we’re all alone, then come to rest on young Amelia again.
As before, she talks in a confident and loud accent, knowing she’s got the whole room to herself... “I’m just a little worried with all the windows, someone might look in...”
Renae responds, “Well, they’re going to see everything on tv anyway, so it doesn’t matter if someone gets a free preview...”
“Yeah, but don’t want to lose my job until after my episode’s been aired ... I need the money!!”
Then we’re watching her telling her story, sitting across one of the kiddy tables from our host.
“When I was a kid, I was playing on the floor with our family dog - in my pyjamas ... I was in the pyjamas, not the dog...” Her attempt at humour falls flat, with Renae not even cracking a smile, and she continues quickly. “So, we were on the floor and I was pushing him away, I thought we were wrestling, but he must have thought it was foreplay...” She pauses to chuckle, then continues, “ ... because he suddenly moved around behind me and mounted me and was trying to to fuck me!” She fakes indignation ... Then continues.
“Then ... Well, he pushed me around a bit and my pyjama pants were coming down ... It was almost the perfect scenario ... I think another five seconds and he would have popped my cherry ... But ... Arrrgghhhh ... Mum ran in, saw what was happening, and she ‘saved’ me...”
“Oh noooo ... Have you forgiven her yet?” Jokes Renae.
“Ha ha ... I’ve been bitter at her ever since ... Ha ha...” Confirms Amelia. “Naaa ... I was relieved at the time ... It was scary ... I didn’t even know what sex was.”
Our host checks, “What happened to the dog?”
“Nothing ... We just went back to normal ... He never tried it again, and I didn’t really know what had happened ... I was too young to appreciate what an opportunity I had! And by the time I knew, it was too late, he was too old ... Ever since I figured out what he was trying, it’s always on my mind – ‘What if...?’...” She looks contemplative... “I started looking it up on Google ... Girls having sex with dogs ... Watching them getting the dogs warmed up, wanking them off and that ... Sucking their cocks ... And I thought I should do that. I should have done it already – but no matter how hard I try, the opportunities don’t really pop up too often!”
“Well, there’s a big opportunity here today...” Confirms Renae. “Would you like to meet him?”
Amelia smiles and nods... “Would I ever!”
We cut to the entrance of the play centre, Amelia unlocking the door and opening it so that the large Weimaraner dog can enter – wagging his tail stub, skipping and skidding on the shiny linoleum floor, looking around, and barking as he discovers a new place and a new girl ... Sniffing at her legs, jumping up at her, and then running into the huge room to see what’s in here...
Amelia laughs as she watches him run away, locking the door behind him, then walking back into the centre, not sure what she’s supposed to be doing.
Cut back to our guest in the little party room, standing infront of the table and chairs, and untucking her polo shirt – pulling it up and over her head, showing off a slim belly, and a neat, pale blue bra which neatly supports a couple of young, firm, B-cup breasts. Unzipping her black pants and slipping them down over her hips, a nervous smile for the camera as she exposes her blue panties...
Cut to the dog, still running around the room, sniffing and exploring everywhere ... Not sure what he’s supposed to do ... Is he inside or out? He doesn’t know, so he cocks his leg and pisses on one of the support struts of a climbing frame.
Back to Amelia as she pulls her bra up over her tits, letting them fall free, then pulling it up over her head and off, throwing it onto the table behind her. The boobs are soft, nicely spaced, and perky – also very pale (paler than the rest of her), with pointed pink nipples.
We cut to a shot of a large ball-pit – a couple of hundred tennis ball sized plastic globes ... Which explodes out at us as the big, energetic beast leaps up and out of it ... Bounding over the edge of the play area and running across the room ... We follow him as he heads directly to the party area (called from off camera), where all the real fun is going to happen...
In the party room, Amelia stands and waits, almost nude, looking attractive but unsure of herself ... She looks around as the dog enters, approaches and begins to sniff at her crotch – not sure if this is the start of the action, or if she’s supposed to wait for an instruction ... We leave her in this semi-confused moment as the dog continues to sniff her panties.
He starts to lick at her panties, his tongue rasping over the gusset, and she almost jumps out of her skin.
After the initial shock, she begins to calm down and almost enjoy the moment – still looking around as if she is checking that it’s okay to enjoy this attention. It’s what she’s here to do, so she should realise that anything goes – but bless her, she’s not too bright...
Renae suggests, from off camera, that she show the dog her pussy – and the youngster reaches down to try and pull her panties down without disturbing the beast too much. He pauses and moves his head out of the way, then – even as she is still pulling the panties down, he sticks his snout back in and continues to lick at her cunt. Every time he makes contact, she jumps and gasps a little.
She drops her panties down to her ankles and steps out of them, trying to keep her legs far enough apart to afford the dog access to her cherry red, well-trimmed, snatch.
She stands there for a second - Amelia looking down at the dog, her chest expanding and contracting, her young boobs rising and falling – pink nipples standing up. A nervous, slightly ashamed look on her face. She flicks her eyes up from the dog to the camera, then immediately back to the dog as he sniffs, then licks, then sniffs and licks again ... Then she staggers back a little and drops onto one of the large beanbag chairs –opening her thighs to give the dog better access to her tight little snatch ... He buries his face in there, his hot tongue flicking out and slopping over her cunt – making her gasp and lay back, her hands in the air infront of her, clawing at the air before finding their way back to her cute boobs, which she squeezes as she soaks up pleasure from the licking...
She gasps – her face lighting up. She struggles to form the words, “My ... Oh ... That’s it...” Tossing her head back, “Yes!”
There’s still worry on her face, but it’s disappearing behind an open-lipped smile as the dog’s tongue does its job.
She rocks her head from one side to the other, eyes half shut, uttering occasional comments, “Oooohhhhhh ... MMmmnnnnn...” as the licking continues – that long, wide, wet tongue sliding between her pussy lips, slopping them around.
She closes her mouth, lips over teeth, trying to suppress her joyous moans – as if she’s embarrassed by finding this to be pleasurable.
She twists in the beanbag chair as the dog continues to lick at her twat, taking her shaking little body toward a rocking orgasm ... She shakes more and more, clamps her jaws together, squeezes her eyes tight shut, holds her breath – either trying to delay the moment, or escape it, but after a few more seconds – with her fingers pinching her nipples hard, she climaxes ... Shaking hard, twisting in the noisy, shapeless chair, and letting out a loud, “OOOooooooohhhhhHHH!!!!”
She allows the dog to lick at her for a little longer – until the intense sensations overwhelm her, and she is forced to roll away and slip off the couch for a break – pushing the beast away as she catches her breath ... She looks like she’s almost in tears – enjoying the feelings but hating the actions. Reality is sometimes too much for some of our younger guests!
She slips forward on the beanbag, sliding down so that she’s pretty much on her back, knees in the air (together) ... Breathing heavily, looking at the dog – barely even acknowledging our camera. Her uneven breathing indicating that she’s still experiencing ‘good vibes’.
She looks up, shame on her face and in her voice as she asks, “Can I fuck him now?”
We cut to a shot of Renae holding her boobs over the top of her clothes, smiling and nodding as she confirms that, “Yes ... Of course ... I can’t wait to see it ... Our viewers at home too, I’m sure...”
And we cut to a shot of the little redhead as she parts her knees and spreads her legs - presenting her pink pussy to the beast again...
Logan rears up and mounts her immediately, his front paws on either side of her narrow hips, sinking into the seat - his big body between her smooth thighs, already rippling and jerking as he stabs at her young pussy...
She’s silent save for a few little grunts and a quiet whine, as she anticipates the penetration – nervous and scared, but so obviously wanting it as she angles her pussy up toward the dog’s belly. He shuffles, repositioning his hindpaws, getting into better position, and then lurching forward again, pumping his hips at her and punching his cock into her cunt.
“OOOhhhhhHHHHH!” She squeals.
We cut to a wide angle and watch as the big beast begins to pump into her – in that ugly, rough and ready way that only dogs can fuck. Muscles in his powerful thighs tensing as he pushes up hard against her young crotch, forcing himself deeper into her.
We drop down behind the action to catch a better view of the penetration ... Watching as that big doggy dick smashes into Amelia’s tight cunt, making her gasp and yelp with every stroke – she certainly sounds like she’s enjoying it.
Back to a wide angle to take everything in ... This cute, young, innocent looking little red-headed slut, on her back, with the big beast standing above her - absolutely pounding into her. His back curving around so that he can pump his fat cock deep into her ... His head over hers, but looking right over her like she doesn’t matter one bit ... She’s just a nice wet hole for his cock ... Down below, the strain on her face as she takes it all, looking up at him and letting out little gasps and moans with each stroke. “OOoaaahhh ... Ooooohhhh ... Aaahhhh.”
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We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re looking at a sandy beach on a perfect summer’s day – small waves rolling...
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We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...
Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...
Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...
“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...
Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...
As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...
Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...
Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...
We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...
Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...
We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...
Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...
We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...
Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...
We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...
We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...
We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...
Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...
We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...
We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...
Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...
We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...
Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...
Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...
Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...
We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......
We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...