A Funny Thing Happened... free porn video

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Life can be real fun. Well mine is. There I was on East coast of Australia. Staying at a back packers hostel. It was the festive season and being the southern hemisphere summer, sub-tropical hot warm very pleasant. The sea the temperature of a warm bath 80 deg F (26 deg C). Yep you've got it paradise.

My fellow back packers were from all over the world. A large contingent from California enjoying the surf and several luscious females from Sweden. A dusky maiden from Maine and sultry blonde from Boston. There was even a POHM (me).

All in all a very mixed bunch all getting on with each other and having fun.

Until that is my gender orientation was questioned. Whether in fun or not my honour was insulted and had to be repaired.

'Twas Christmas night and the youngsters had consumed more than they could hold. But the ladies needed entertaining . A young beauty from Sweden called Anna was in a very frisky mood. So I saw my chance to restore my honour.

Anna and I had struck up a friendship . As I'd become her paladin by protecting her from the advances of nasty greasy chap. who had been all over Anna like a rash. Much to her disgust. (well I ask you 250lbs of untoned flab wearing g-string swimming trunks, with a posing pouch at the front that was designed for a hearty meal but didn't even contain the starters) So Anna and I had pretended to be an item. To discourage these un-welcome advances .

The party had wound down and thing were getting quiet, the lights were low and the music was slow and smoochey. Anna was enjoying my roving hands and kisses. After several very sensuous slow numbers. Quite to my surprise, Anna dragged me to a sofa at the back of the common room.

She was warm and smelt as sweet as a mid- summer nights dream. We laid ourselves out on the large old sofa and started to become better-acquainted .My body shielded us from prying eyes. I gently pushed my hands under Anna's t-shirt and caress her firm and delightful breasts, her nipples were hard and erect as was my straining member. That poked out the top of my shorts.

Anna's hand found the head and began to stroke the head with the palm of her hand . As my cock struggled for air. Pure heaven!

I looked over my shoulder to see if we had any watchers and apart from a sleeping surfer there was no one in view. So I pushed Anna's T-shirt up over her beautiful breasts and started to kiss and suck her perfect globes . I circled my tongue around her nipples gently tweaking them with my teeth and flicking me tongue over the very tips of her nipples. Anna was fighting hard to control her moaning as I continued my petting by licking the undersides of her breast were they folded under to meet her ribs. This is a highly sensitive area on any woman but for Anna even more so.

She was writhing and squirming to position her butt to apply pressure to my erection. She put her thighs over mine and pushed my arse cheeks with her calves. To help her get more contact with my rampant flesh . I put my hand under her butt and pulled the waistband of her short and knickers from beneath her and up to her mid thighs. This left her and me covered from any passing glances, but gave us both what we desired the meeting of excited genitals. By pushing down the waistband of my shorts and pants. I was able to rub the tip of my engorged cock up and down her slit. Because there was only limited space on the sofa I was only able to the get just the head of my cock into the warm slick, outer lips of her pussy. Even so, she managed to get her hand between her legs and grab hold of my cock so that she could rub the head, on and around her clit. We continued like this for what seemed like an eternity of mutual bliss.

Until Anna whispered that we MUST go outside.

With some difficulty we straightened our clothing and very quietly so as not disturb the sleeping surfers went outside and into my tent. Without anyone seeing us (or so we thought) go.

We crawled into my tent and virtually ripped each other's cloths off. Anna's body was perfect in the light of my camper's lamp and I revelled in her beauty kissing her y all over until my lips found her secret treasure. Before I got to her most treasured parts I spent long minutes on all the other important and sensitive areas. I found the backs of her knee's and her inner thighs most rewarding, as did she. Finally I headed for her pussy. I licked and probed her flesh with my tongue until she was at a point of total submission.

She was like a bow straining to loose its arrow. I played with her and teased her delaying her climax by increasing and decreasing the pressure and intensity of my mouth on her vulva and clit. I ran my tongue down the outside of her pussy then pushed my tongue into wetness savouring her aroma and taste.

My beard was coated in her juices and I had to wipe it dry with a towel as it got a bit too much.

I took this opportunity to change position and turned Anna on her side and moved us into a 69 position. At this Anna took my cock and swallowed it in one, right to the hilt wow!!!

I pushed her legs apart put her right foot on the side of my head and buried my face back in between her willing thighs and continued toying with her pussy. In this new position I was able to insert my fingers into her hot soaking pussy. I could now feel the quivering tremors of her approaching orgasm.

I to was on the verge of coming and wouldn't be able to hold back for much longer. Anna bobbed her head up and down, moaning as she did so . I wasn't being quiet either if any one was in earshot they wouldn't be in any doubt what we were about. I whispered to Anna that she should cum. She had no choice really as I intensified my attention on her clit and rubbed the tips of my fingers inside her pussy on her g-spot.

As she came, Anna clamped her thighs round my head and pressed my head into body. Her body shuddered and shook as her orgasm raged through her I thought she was going to pass out as she just kept cumming and cumming as her body shook and convulsed with pleasure. As she came down from her peak she relaxed her grip on my head. Letting me come up for air. We lay quietly for several minutes with our heads between each other's thighs.

Anna asked me to fuck her real slow but not to come inside her, as she was no longer on the pill. I said that I wouldn't come inside her but did need some more time to calm myself down a bit first.

Then she made a really crazy and erotic suggestion. Lets go for a walk to the footy field and you can screw me in the middle of the pitch.

Why not I thought, the walk would certainly calm me down for round three. We climbed out of my tent just pulling on our shorts and t-shirts and quite innocently walked out of the hostel gate and down the road hand in hand to the footy field.

It was pitch dark and there was no one about, being Christmas night. After a bit of friendly argument we found the middle of the pitch. I pulled off my clothes and ran around in the dark with my erection bouncing between my legs. Anna laughed at my athletic prowess and asked what event I was in. "Pole vault" I said. Anna stripped and told me to stop being silly and come here. She got down on all fours with her white bottom in the air. She said "come on you Pohm'y bastard stick it in and fuck me". I ran up behind her and dropped to my knees and in one fluid movement thrust my cock into her hot willing pussy.

Whoa, to my surprise I was still very aroused and had to use all myself control to prevent myself cumming in just a couple strokes. Even though it was incredibly difficult, I managed to get into a rhythm and revelled in the incredible sensations raging in my bell end. After a minute or so I pulled out of her and rolled her over onto her back. With her legs pulled up and her legs spread as wide as they could go . She lay there and said all breathless "Fuck meeee please" I pushed myself into her again, held my weight on my arms and toes and drove my cock into her like a pile driver, the tension in my muscles was incredible, but I had to stay controlled which enhanced the sensation and tension even more. The tingle in my balls got greater and greater until I started to cum

Just before my sperm burst from the tip of my cock, I pulled out of her wanton pussy and shot my load over her belly and breasts. My sperm came out of the tip of my cock with such force that some even landed on her chin.

Being so totally spent; as I was I just flopped on to her panting sweating body and lay there as our juices and sweat mixed between our exhausted yet fully satisfied bodies. After awhile we pulled ourselves apart and went back to the hostel and my tent. We climbed into the tent whipped ourselves down with my towel curled up together and drifted of to sleep in each others arms.

Pt 2.

When we awoke the next morning the inside of the tent spelt like a Maltese brothel the morning after the fleet had docked.

We both needed a wash and real good freshen up. The best place for this was the Pacific Ocean. which was only a few hundred yards away, we pulled on our clothes Anna grabbed her swimsuit from her bunk in the hostel; and we ran to the beach. There was no one in site so we dropped our things under some trees back from the beach. Anna suggested we took our swim naked. What the heck I thought pulled off my trunks and ran for the breakers and dived in, with Anna close on my heals. We surfaced and kissed in the breaking surf. Our hands went for each other's bodies and we both knew we had unfinished business . It was just wonderful in the surf on that fantastic Boxing Day morning, the sun was shinning bright and warm there was no one about we were in our own world. A timeless erotic paradise.

As we trod water holding onto each other Anna looked at me with pure lust in her eyes, and asked me "have you ever fucked a girl in the butt?" I said " no". But would try anything once .

"Come on then, I wont to feel you shoot inside me this time," said Anna. We ran back up the beach and spread out our towels on the sand and went straight into 69 with Anna on top of me sucking my cock and me underneath eating her for breakfast. She told me to push a finger into her ring to stretch it ready for the invasion of my cock. I worked at her butt hole, taking her juices from her pussy to make entry into the tight hole easier. She then told me to use some sun tan oil. I was loath to do this as I didn't fancy a mouthful of sun oil. So said "OK, but later but first I'm going to eat your pussy and bring you off."

At this moment I looked up and directly above us was a hang glider the guy could see what we were up to, and suddenly it must have registered in his head what he was looking at on the ground. Two people stark naked in 69 eating each other for all they were worth.

All of a sudden he lost control of his hang glider, and peeled off toward the land. Say "Ooooooh fuuuuuuck, I don't believe it!!!!!!"

Anna and I couldn't help ourselves and laughed uncontrollably for several minutes after awhile I called out "you all right?" and got a reply "yep, you go for it mate" We both started laughing again. But with that lovely willing woman laying next me her breasts giggling with laughter. I soon got back to the job in hand.

I got our cloths and rolled them into a pillow and placed it under Anna's bottom allowing my easier access to her pussy and especially her tight hole. I poured some tan oil into the palm of my hand and let it run down my fingers and onto her tight little rose bud. I ever so gentle pushed first one then two fingers into her butt, then three fingers pumping them back and forth as I did. With my other hand I rubbed her clit and pushed my thumb into her pussy .My cock twitched with anticipation. After a few minutes she told me she was ready to be fucked in the butt. I knelt up between her wide spread thighs and positioned my cock at the opening of her pussy and pushed myself in. "No she said don't tease me, or else I'll want you to come in there and I don't want to have a baby". So reluctantly I with drew and pushed the tip head of cock down to her tight little hole. I had to push quite hard to get the tip to enter her butt. But as soon as the bell end was in it got easier. With just the head in her arse hole, Anna told me to stay still and let her relax. I moved my body forward without entering her any further and laid my body gentle down on hers. When she was ready for me to enter her butt. Anna put her heals on my arse and pushed saying "now, fuck me hard and fast and shoot your spunk in me".

I began slowly at first savouring the new sensations of having my cock in an arse hole instead of a pussy. The sensation was quite different instead pressure just around one point .Her anus gripped my cock along its full length. (""You could become addicted to this I thought."")

As the pressure in my balls increased I fucked Anna's arse hard and fast with long firm strokes, with drawing to just having the head of my cock in her arse to right up to the hilt. As I reached the point of no return I just let myself come. Anna had reached down and was frigging her clit for all she was worth. My cock swelled for the final stroke and I shot my spunk into her tight arse. It was incredible, Anna's anus spasmd at the same time and we came together. The sweat was dripping off me like I had a leak. Ah! I just collapsed onto her also sweating body and she wrapped her arms and legs around me and held me in her body.

After a few minutes, Anna said I was getting heavy and I lifted myself off her withdrew my still semi-erect cock from her body. "Few what a shag" I said. I sat on my heals and just took in the sight before me. Incredible!!

I jumped up and said, "Race you" and we ran to the ocean and dived in that warm blue water, and swam just for the pleasure and freedom of the moment.

At the pub that night, Anna and I sat at a table and listened to this guy going about what he had seen earlier on the beach whilst hang gliding!. Never in my life have I had such a hard time keeping a straight face.

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1 year ago
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I offer tea and you want something

“Please,” I begged again, “make me yours.” We retraced our steps down the High Street, stopping to look in the shop windows and steal a kiss in the darker doorways. Despite taking over two hours to eat a bowl of delicious pasta, drink a bottle of wine and a cup of excellent coffee it was still only 9:30 when we returned to his flat. We agreed it was probably too early to go to bed so cuddled up on the sofa and he told me about Naples, the Venus with the Perfect Bum sculpture in the art gallery...

Mature
1 year ago
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Funny Business Farm

Funny Business FarmShortly after my parents were divorced, one of my fathers clients had passed away leaving everything to his now widowed wife. Dad received a call from the widow, requesting a meeting to discuss the widow's holdings. As their financial advisor for the last 8 years, he was familiar with their assets.They met in his office; folders spread across the desk, each representing all the real estate and business ventures she now owned exclusively. Dad explained that all of her holdings...

3 years ago
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Funny weed cunnilingus story

I have a funny, and frankly, hot, story from spring break 1996 when I went to Jamaica with my friends in college. There, I met a fellow spring breaker named Jamie who was a bit of a hippychick complete with cornrows (that she had done in Jamaica as many tourists are apt to do). Our evening consisted of an all-night toking and 69 session in her hotel room. The air was so dense with weed smoke that I really couldn't smell her otherwise musky pussy. However, I was kind of on the look-out because...

3 years ago
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Funny blowjob in a nerds car

Hello everyone, this is my first story here... This is a real one, i haven't many of them to tell so in the future i could switch to fantasy. I'm also not english so tell me about my writing :-pBy now: here the facts. I was 23 and i broke up with my boyfriend after almost 1 year, i was very sad, angry and, must admit, cock-hungry.That night a good friend of mine held a birthday party in a nightclub, we danced and had a very good time, drinking much. Aware of me being a good drinker, my friend...

3 years ago
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Funny Tag team orgy

When i was 18 i had my first orgy ...it was me, my boy, this girl i had just met, and her friend. It all started at cici's (pizza buffet) me and my boy had walked in to grab a bite when we came across two big booty chicks ...we hit it off and started talking after five min's into the convo 1 of the girls asked if we wanted to fuck!!!! lol i know i couldn't believe it myself it was as if an angel came down and sprinkled pussy juices all over my throbbing cock ..... i was so shocked that they...

2 years ago
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Altered Fates The Birthing

Altered Fates: The Birthing By Ellie Dauber (c) 2007 Here's a very short gargoyle while I take a break from "Eerie Saloon." * * * * * "Tansie," Alyson Palmer yelled. "Get Her Majesty some more spiced wine." "Yes'm." Tansie Nutter ran over to pour the wine. She was outwardly obedient to the midwife, but her thoughts were far different. 'Her Majesty... the king's slut'd be more like it. It ain't fair that she's having such an easy time of it, when the queen wore herself out...

4 years ago
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Birthing Class

Happy Birthday Francine! I got a special surprise for you tonight. Go to my apartment I got a special outfit for you and further instructions. I won't get there until 6:00 but you should give yourself a little time. Don't forget your baby bump!...Tom How nice I think to myself. He remembered. We haven't gotten together in awhile. I wonder what the surprise is. I wonder what the outfit is! I can only imagine. I give myself a nice bubble bath make...

3 years ago
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Funny the things you remember I came home earl

I've found myself thinking about Dawn even more that I usually do lately. Maybe that's because it's less than a week until it will be 5 years since I lost her. I love and miss her so much even now and find myself remembering many of the things we did ... both in the lifestyle and out as well as fantasying about the things I so wish we could have tried. I was remembering the time pretty soon after Dawn and I had experienced out first "lifestyle event" together which are actually posted my first...

2 years ago
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Everythings Just Beachy 8

Everything's Just Beachy By Jena Corso Edited By Angela Meyers Chapter Eight After Hunter had Kara's head spinning, they spent some time frolicking in the surf and then she decided they should walk through the resort, window shopping and browsing through the store. They talked outfits, jewelry and fashion as they wandered in their cover ups until finally their shopping voyage took a detour to Hunter's room and then it got serious. Back and forth between her room and his they went...

3 years ago
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Mummys Little Plaything

Mummy's Little Plaything I'm Paul this is my story ; Like every little boy I loved my Mum, she was the centre of my world and given that I didn't have a Dad like most of the other kids at school she was even more important. I'm not sure when dad left us but I was very young and can just barely remember a father's presence in the house. Like all boy's I lived for pleasing Mummy, seeking out praise and love and attention at every opportunity. The trouble was I never seemed to...

3 years ago
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PlaythingPuppetBadboy Lover

Plaything/Puppet/Badboy=LoverOne: IdeaIt was cold that evening and as I sat on the sofa warming  by the fire he sat beside me, put his arm around me and whispered: "I think I could be happy with you for the rest of my life.." I looked into his eyes. Danny was everything I'd always wanted in a man and never really expected to find, but I had, three months ago standing at a bus stop one evening. As the rain started to fall I moved into the bus shelter and he was sitting there and we started...

2 years ago
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A Funny Thing Happened

Prologue ‘Hey Sim, are you doing anything Monday night?’ ‘Hey Gin, Monday, the 14th?’ A pause. ‘No, nothing special. Why?’ ‘Couple of the girls and I are having a little impromptu gathering in the green room. Be nice if you stopped by.’ A short pause, then: ‘Jason’s cool with it.’ Jason was the Company Manager, and if he wasn’t cool with it just yet, he soon would be. ‘Alright, that sounds like fun. Shall I bring anything…or? ‘Nah. Don’t worry about it. Just bring yourself.’ Sim gave a...

2 years ago
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Something About BradleyChapter 4 Sunbathing in Eden

Brad sighed contentedly with the warmth of the sun and the sparkling surface of the pool as he lay in his sun-lounger; for this was the good life. Also sunbathing alongside him was his sister Linda and her daughter Rachel who was in a gingham-check bikini; revealing the immaturity of the girl against her mother’s prime figure. What a sensual sight; a truly yummy mommy relaxing alongside the daughter she had fucked to order the night before; a perfect pair of sluts. The love bites they had...

3 years ago
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Mayhem in a PillChapter 67 A Funny Thing Happened

Monday morning. Tim could feel something in the air was ‘off’ as soon as he walked into the locker room. It was deathly quiet. Tim expected the spirits of his fellow football players to be high after the last weekend of Roosevelt football success. The JV and Freshman teams easily won their games against MacArthur, and the elation of the varsity win was still riding high if the number of requests for interviews in his email were to serve as a barometer. Tim quickly learned, though, that the...

2 years ago
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Arabian Plaything Chapter 6

Meanwhile, Belle's life followed its early pattern. She was summoned up to the Palace perhaps three or four times in a week... and still always to perform the most menial duties. She either had some decorative use or something more functional like acting as an ash-tray holder or a drink and food trolley. In general she carried out these tasks to the satisfaction of the overseers and only on one occasion did she earn herself a punishment. Sheer fatigue caused her to become slightly unbalanced...

2 years ago
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Plaything

PLAYTHING by Geneva A powerful businessman muses on his plans for revenge on an old enemy. It has taken me some time and much detailed planning to come to this part of my revenge for the years of your demeaning comments and slights. Actually, I feel slightly apprehensive but now I can set the procedure in motion. This is the crux, but certainly not the finish of my plans for you. I will be careful and methodical. I intend to enjoy the continual oversight, dominance and attention...

2 years ago
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Used as a Plaything

Brianna whispered in my ear.  ‘Do you feel safe, Andy?’Did I feel safe?First, I need to explain the position in which I found myself.Brianna had brought me into a luxurious apartment and blindfolded me, before guiding me into another room where soft music was playing.All she had told me about the evening was the owner of the apartment, a woman in her fifties, had got friendly with Brianna and mentioned she had fancied the pants off me.  Together the two of them hatched a plan to use me as her...

BDSM
3 years ago
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The Barbie Lez Fantasies Week 77 Topless Sunbathing

Introduction: A quick and kinky lesbian fantasy! Authors Note 1: These short fantasies started off as weekly mini-stories for my readers, but the newsletter was shut down because autoresponders do not accept adult content. I thus decided to publish these fantasies for free for my readers to enjoy. It is meant to entertain, so please do not leave hateful comments if everything is not perfect. I am only human after all. Authors Note 2: Although this fantasy can be read independently, it was...

2 years ago
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Caught Sunbathing in the Garden Final

Caught Sunbathing in the Garden Final.This is based on a pure fantasy of my wife. Everyone is consenting in this story.My wife has left for her nursing job. She and my neighbour share a car together when they’re on the same shift; as they are all this week. I was caught sunbathing by my neighbour’s 19 year old d4ughter; Tracy. During our first encounter, when she fucked me beautifully, I told her of my wife’s fantasy of being r4ped. Just as she leaves she offers, “You are to come in the back...

3 years ago
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Sunbathing Neighbor

Sunbathing NeighborBy BossDaddyMy son Arty was home from college over the summer and one day I was looking out our kitchen window and I saw him looking through are back fence into our neighbors’ yard. After a few minutes I went out to see what was going on. As I approached him he put his index finger to his lips giving me the “shh” sign. I quietly asked him what he was looking at and he said our neighbor Elizabeth was sunbathing in the nude. I looked thru the crack of the wood fence and sure...

2 years ago
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Sunbathing Nude for Walter and his Friends

Lately, I've been really naughty around my neighbor, Walter. He’s often outside with his friends playing poker, and I’ll purposely be outside parading around naked. I’ll swim naked in my pool, or hang my wet clothes on the laundry line. I’ll play croquet in the nude. I'm a bit of an exhibitionist and love to be naked and have people watch me. I totally get off on it. Walter, is a sixty-five year old man. He’s widowed, and I know he loves to see me naked. I mean what man wouldn’t want to see a...

Group Sex
3 years ago
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Nudist Sunbathing in Suffolk

Being a nudist in the UK can be rather challenging as the weather is rarely warm enough to stay nude all day and there are very few places where you can feel comfortable naked. There are beaches were nudist sunbathing is allowed but I have never found them to be the best beaches. I travel around the country with my job and always try to find time to seek out any nudist beaches to try them out but often the best places are where you can just find a secluded spot rather than an organised nudist...

2 years ago
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Sunbathing

SunbathingI get home from work it’s been a hot day, the sun was burning, in the kitchen I get myself a cold beer. I walk to the bedroom to see if you are there and maybe you didn't hear me, as I look out the window I see you in the garden, totally nude sunbathing.I strip and walk down naked, I feel my cock starting to grow as I walk on the grass closer to you.I enjoy the sight of the sun shining on your naked body, there are some drops of sweat on your body.A sound behind me makes me turn...

1 year ago
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IV That Nude Sunbathing

Sandy and I went to the beach hoping we could get together a team for volleyball Karen came running up to us yelling come with you two I got a almost a team. We yelled back Yes, Yes I couldn’t believe it when Karen kissed us both rather nicely and said gawd I love you too. We won four times and the hold team agrees to go forfeit and cancel. Sandy told Karen she Ok’d her coming over and nude sunbathing with us, Karen was ecstatic said I know and again kiss us both saying I love you two. I really...

1 year ago
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Mona Lisa Life 1973 Everythings Groovy

Mona Lisa Life 1973: Everything's Groovy By Heather St. Claire Claire had gone all out for this anniversary dinner. She and Melissa had been together for twenty years as of this evening. Claire and her love had spent two decades in a small town together as a war widow raising her two daughters with the help of her maiden aunt. The roast in the oven was almost done; the potatoes and mixed vegetables were coming along perfectly. Their best china rested atop their best tablecloth. She...

Historical

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