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3 Cheers by Rachel Ann Cooper © 1997 Tony had always been an athletic kid but except for soccer and floor exercises in gymnastics, he was too small to play most games. He was now a high school freshman and had, in fact, made the soccer team but that was not his first love. He was more of a gymnast, an acrobat of sorts. He could do back flips and hand stands walking, flip ups from a lay down position and his best trick was the running split, which he did with apparent ease. There wasn't another boy in the class that could do it, not even the Kung Fu kids. The only problem was that his school didn't offer gymnastics as a sport for boys, only for the girls. The gym was big enough that they had a permanent practice pad for the runs. He was kidding with one of his girl friends one day about ways to get into the football games for free and she suggested he try out for the cheerleaders, something a boy had never done before. Tony did have all those moves and was, unfortunately, going to take after both his parents and be short, having probably reached his adult height of 5'5" and 125 pounds. Brenda was, after all, already on the squad and she could put a good word in. After some coaxing, he said that he would try out, and if he made it, then he could forget about having to buy a student pass to football and basketball. That was worth something. Tryouts were the second week of school. Tony was going to be a sophomore this year and he wanted to earn a letter in something. He wasn't very good in soccer. Maybe he could do it in cheerleading. Well, Mrs. Cling was impressed with Tony's energy and all those gymnastic moves and so he was invited to join the squad. Watching a boy waving pom-poms was something new, but they would get used to it. The four girls who were already on the squad liked Tony and were not threatened by his prowess but rather impressed by it, and so accepted him enthusiastically. He would jump up and wave his pom-poms when the team scored, but he didn't get all squeally and excited like the rest of the squad. It wasn't appropriate for a boy he thought, even though the emotion was there. His Mom was quite pleased but his father was not too thrilled about his son being a cheerleader. "What kind of a job is that for a boy?' he asked. "Give him a chance, Frank. After all, he's too small for the team sports." "What's he going to be wearing Annie?" "Just the same as the rest of the squad, a tank or tee or sweatshirt, except he'll wear pants or shorts I guess," she said. "Well, I know they use boy cheerleaders in some colleges but Tony had better not end up coming off wimpy," said his Dad. "Oh, I don't think so dear, she said. The girls seem a little reserved about his being there, but they'll get over it, I'm sure." As practice progressed into October and the first game, Tony and the girls were ready with all their routines. Ordinarily, having a boy on the squad would mean that there would be lifts and some tossing around but Tony was too small for that. He was right in the middle as to size, just as likely to be the one tossed. Instead, they featured each cheerleader in his or her specialty. The student body knew about the new cheerleader and a lot of them were ready to make fun of him, but Tony did an exceptional job that left little room for criticism. He was there to create enthusiasm and he did. They were surprised at his gymnastics and most had not seen a boy do a flying split before. That got it's own applause. As the weeks progressed and Tony became really friendly with the girls and less of an outsider, they were more accepting of him.. The four of them hung out together on weekends and began to ask Tony if he would like to come along and began, for all intents and purposes, to treat him just as they did each other. He was a little embarrassed and uptight hanging with a bunch of girls, and at first, refused. However, they persisted in inviting him. They liked him, and knew that he brought something special to the team. So, from then on, if you wanted to find Tony, all you had to do was look for the rest of the cheerleaders and there he'd be or they knew where he was. When the school had a dance, he would dance with the ones who weren't taller than him. Tony's membership gave rise to another boy joining, but it soon became clear that he was there more to get next to the pretty girls than to do some serious work. At this point, Tony was still spending some time at the bowling alley with his buddies Carl and Rick. One of the things it was hard for Tony to get used to was the pom-poms and not only being energetic in his performance but also being graceful like the rest of them. However, he soon found himself jumping up and down squealing and carrying on with the rest when their team made a goal or touchdown. Being with the girls all the time, the squealing just became contagious. It was so subtle, he didn't notice his transition to squealing teen ager. They worked both the football and basketball games. Gradually, the sharp edges of his performance disappeared to be replaced with all of the aplomb that would be expected had he really been one of the GIRLS with all those gymnastic talents. Mrs. Cling seemed pleased with the streamlining which made him seem more 'one of the group' rather than a lone boy on the team. Except for the red pants and no bumps in his sweater, Tony could now easily pass in the upcoming cheerleading competition, if it were not for the fact that he was a boy. There were no provisions in the rules for accommodating a male in the competition. Boys were not at all common as yet, at least in his district. She kept working on a way to get around that. He did have long hair, which he kept in a pony tail at the nape of his neck and he did wear an earring, like most of the guys on the athletic teams. He wore the same saddle shoes and sox as the girls, too. Brenda had given him a cheerleader's bracelet to wear also which he wore to school most of the time. It was quite feminine, but it was, after all, a gift from a girlfriend. How could he not wear it? She was nice and they became rather close during the season. It was time for submitting applications for the competition and Janice, their coach, submitted the application for all five of them but made a slight error and spelled his name TONI. When she handed the applications out for their signatures, Tony was quick to notice this and was going to make a big deal of it but then thought, what the heck, I'll just sign it the way she wrote it, and so he did. And, coincidentally, Brenda asked him if he was looking forward to having to shave one day. He said that he'd watched his dad having to do it every day and it wasn't really one of the things about adulthood he was looking forward to. Brenda told him that he might not have to. "What do you mean, he said." "My Mom has some pills that will help you out with that if you want to try them. They'll probably keep it from growing. She's making me take them. You could just try two or three a week. I really think it might help you." "I'll think about it Brenda and thanks." Brenda, it seems, wanted a closer, more homogenous group. The committee's acceptance letter came and stated that their five girls would be welcome and that they were looking forward to meeting them. Well, her five GIRLS? They could only compete on that basis now unless she wanted to jump through a lot of bureaucratic hoops or just go with a team of four, but what was she going to do about Tony? His gymnastics were an impressive contribution to the squad. She decided to pass out copies of the letter and drop the matter into the team's lap. They were all shocked and needless to say, Tony was a little beside himself. He HAD picked up on their mannerisms and gestures, giggles and general good humor, all of which now seemed to be continually plugged in, but go the competition as a GIRL? Brenda was team captain and his best friend on the team so she took it upon herself to talk it out with him. "Tony, I know this is quite a shock, but if we don't compete the way we were entered, then we can't compete at all, and I just know that with all your gymnastics, we can win. Won't you please consider it, for me," she cooed? Since it was Brenda doing the asking, he said he would think about it. After all, none of the kids from the school were going to be at the competition, just the other teams and the judges. A week later he told Brenda that he would be Toni for the competition and she told his teammates. They were ecstatic. They began to treat him more like Toni and got him a girl's uniform to practice in complete with bra, panties and skirt. They quickly decided Toni should wear a very tight control panty under 'her' uniform panty just to be certain. The skirts were pretty short, after all. "Brenda." "Yes Tony?" "I think it might be the right time to try those pills now. I have a feeling about something." "OK. I'll bring you some." He began taking one every other day or so with no apparent ill effects. Tony wasn't stupid. He knew what they were but they were for keeping you from getting pregnant and he sure knew he couldn't do that, so what harm could they do except keep his beard from growing? Unfortunately, biology was not on Tony's curriculum and so he altered the routine to take 5, then 6 a week. Toni was rather enjoying 'her' new level of acceptance and began wearing 'her' pony tail with a Scunci (otherwise knows as a scrunchie) holding it rather than a rubber band. 'She' also began wearing that tight panty all the time to get used to the confinement so it would feel natural and not affect 'her' performance at the competition, especially when she did a split, except on the days she had gym class. 'She' also needed some practice in the best way to hide the obvious and found that he could actually put part of himself back inside and push the other one down and back. It was a little uncomfortable and he had to sit to pee, but he was getting used to it. Brenda talked him into getting his other ear pierced and, while not wanting to wear two earrings to school, just switched the stud from his left ear to his right while at school and it while it was healing. He was wearing them both most of the time however when not at school. Brenda even got him a pair of little gold hoops for his birthday and he took to wearing them all the time, both of them. Rather than subject Toni to any ridicule, they decided to hold their last couple week's practice for the competition after dinner, rather than right after school, having the gym all to themselves so he could get used to being Toni, his girl self. Well, they had him in the weighted bra and a skirt, but he still didn't pass because of one tiny inconsistency...no makeup. So Janice took Brenda aside and asked her if she would try and get Toni to accept the makeup and tweezing and teach 'her' to use it because all the 'girls' would be using the same locker room at Bayshore High and at 16, Toni couldn't have some other girl doing her makeup. It wouldn't be natural. Of course, it wasn't natural for a boy to be in the girl's locker room either, except the other girls didn't seem to mind him seeing them 'that way.' He'd already won their hearts by agreeing to be Toni to let them compete. He had been now accepted into that inner circle where no man may go, and seeing his team mates in various stages of undress became routine. Tony didn't have too much trouble by this time passing for Toni. The team had tutored him to act like a girl and in proper uniform, he had no problem looking like one except for the makeup. He was fine from a distance, but when you got up close you could see some of the hardness of male features. Brenda was making slow progress but Toni realized that the other cheerleaders would be made up to the hilt with stage makeup, so he conceded and she bought the right colors for his complexion and gave him a couple lessons in 'the works.' He would practice the makeup in his room before bed and then wash it off. Brenda had shown him how to do his eyes up dramatically with liner and shadow and, much to his surprise, he rather liked his face, HER face. He was also getting a little charge out of what those pills were doing. He was going to have his own A cup by competition time and the girls were thrilled for the new girl on the team. His mom had seen the skirt hanging in his closet even with his best efforts to hide it and had noticed the change in the pony tail and the earrings. She had also found the used makeup and a 6" magnifying mirror in his desk drawer but said nothing for fear of upsetting him and making his father angry and she found his extra sports bra in his sock drawer where he had hoped to hide it. . She had also noticed that he didn't get all his eyeliner completely off sometimes or the foundation completely off from his neck and his fingernails were becoming quite pretty. His mom was pretty smart and put it together that he was competing as a girl in the competition although she couldn't figure how that got past the school or why her son would be doing such a thing. The following Thursday was 'dress' rehearsal and Toni brought all his stuff to school and got ready. His team mates had been very inventive and one of them had made up some kind of cream colored Jell-O that she put into clear balloons to give him the right 'look' and bounce under his sports bra to make him look like a B cup. She even figured out how to put silicone nipples on them. When he showed up on the floor, everyone was waiting and gave him a big cheer. That night, he really WAS just one of the girls and two of them were taller than he was (and the nipples did show through). Toni even went out with them to the local ice cream parlor afterwards. There was some buzz about some new girl making the cheerleading team, but nobody knew who she was. With full makeup, Tony became invisible. Only the six of them were there at practice including coach. Of course, he always carried a gym bag, so his Mom didn't know he had a girls cheerleading outfit in it and his makeup, or so he thought. The next glitch came when Janice was to transport them to the competition. It had been decided that they would wear their 'regular' clothes so as not to get any spots or wrinkles in their uniforms of white pleated skirts and maroon tops. This presented quite a problem for poor Toni. 'She' didn't have a thing to wear, and if they won, Janice had promised to take them all out to celebrate, again, in their regular clothes, which in this case meant dresses or skirts and blouses and flats or heels. However, since they knew all 'her' sizes, the team put together an outfit for 'her', most of which came from Teresa, the next tallest one. Of course, 'she' had to wear makeup with it and tie 'her' hair up with a bow in the school colors. Tony, poor thing, was becoming accustomed to looking and acting like Toni and interacting with the others just as though he actually WAS. When he was dressed as Toni now, he WAS Toni, a fact that Janice appreciated as she could lose her job if the competition committee found out. She wasn't too worried about the school board. She knew they were truly hungry for the trophy. It had been five years since they had won and how Tony's name was spelled on it wouldn't matter to them.. Brenda helped Toni get ready for 'her' debut. She was a little surprised at how well Tony was taking all this and mentioned that to him. He just said, "Brenda, I'm also in drama club. I looked at this as a part in a play and in order to do it, I had to 'get into it.' just like Patrick Swayzee in that drag movie, "To Wong Fu." "Funny, I didn't expect to like wearing the dress and lingerie, hose, heels and makeup and never thought I could pass as a girl. I thought it would be just as easy to 'get out' as it was to 'get in', but I'm finding I rather like being Toni. It's a very different and somehow satisfying role & I'm getting comfortable with it. Do you think those pills might have something to do with that?" "Maybe, she replied." "It's kind of fun though fooling all those people, he said. It's like I'm turning in a really good performance." "Toni, how long have we been friends, she asked?" "About five years." "And in that time, don't you think I've gotten to know you?" "Well, I guess so." "You may be fooling them, Toni, but not me." What makes you think that I don't know that you truly LIKE being a girl, even if it is only a role, which, by the way, I'm seriously beginning to wonder about and yes, I do think the pills are helping your 'performance'. If you want more help, take at least one a day and quit on the 25th and start the 1st again." "You ARE a cute little wench, Toni, and I just love how feminine you've become. Is that an act too?" "I wish I knew Brenda. I'm beginning to wonder." "You never were one to beat around the bush, were you Brenda?" "Guess not." "All right, I like it. There! Are you happy?" "I am if YOU are Toni with an I. I don't mind having another girl friend and if that turns out to be you, great. I don't care how you dress. It's YOU I like, not what you wear although I may give you a dig about it once in a while. I'll even help. How about it?" "I don't know Brenda, these feelings are all pretty new to me. I never thought I'd get such a kick out of it." "You're only 16, Toni. There's plenty of time to see just how far you want to go with it. You haven't even had to deal with really high heels yet." "Well, right now, how far I'd like to go is try on that blue chiffon gown of yours and the heels that go with it but we don't have the time. Does that give you a clue, Bren?" "Is this skirt and blouse ok with these shoes?" "You look perfect, Toni, she replied. "And the earrings?" "Perfect. Now let's go, you sweet young thing." Well, what can I say? When they all piled in the car to go to the competition, there were five girl magpies and one older one carrying on like everything was perfectly normal, which it was getting to be. They were the fourth team to compete and their routine wowed the judges. Two of the 'other' girls helped Toni do a double back flip. They had to wait for the other four to finish before they got the final decision. That night, Janice was a very happy camper. She had coached the winning team and they all did indeed, go out and celebrate at Baskin Robbins, the five girls and their coach. There was an awful lot of laughing, teasing, and general giggling going on that night as they left Toni off in front of 'her' house. Her uniform was in her bag but she was TONI completely when she walked through the door. Tony had promised his mom that they would be with the coach and would come home at a decent hour so the house, thank heaven, was dark. Tony knew his mom would still have one eye open, but his dad would be snoring away so Toni let herself into the house quietly, turned off the porch light and went upstairs and got out of 'her' clothes and makeup. Tony was rather sad to see Toni disappear and began to give some serious thought to Brenda's offer of help with wardrobe. He hung the clothes up and went to bed knowing that his dad would be out when he needed to return the clothes to Teresa and Brenda. It was what his Mom was going to say when she saw them that he was worried about. He didn't know she'd already seen the skirt to his uniform & found his gold mid heeled mules under the bed. That night he dreamt about the blue chiffon. And he didn't know that he had forgotten the hair ribbon either. A psychologist might think he wanted to get caught! Maybe! The next morning, Tony came down to breakfast and dispatched it rather quickly. Then he went up to his room, collected Toni's outfit into his gym bag and tried to sneak out of the house. "Just a moment young man. I think we need to have a little talk. Sit. And take whoever's dress that is out of the bag so it doesn't get all wrinkled. You should return it on a hanger." "You KNOW Mom?" "Yes, honey. I've known for quite a while now and I think you had better get that ribbon out of your hair too." "Oh, my GAWD. I'm busted!" "You won that trophy as a girl, didn't you?" "Yes", he admitted with a very deep blush and just the hint of a smile. "And what name did you use?" "Toni with an I, he replied." "Well, Toni with an I, am I going to be seeing more of this new daughter of mine or is this the end of it?" "I don't know Mom. I...well...I...well, the girls and I have become really close and they like me better as Toni. I don't like boys or anything like that. I mean, not THAT way." "Tony, you know that you are an only child because I couldn't have any more. If I could, I would have hoped for a daughter to dress up and spoil. I guess if you want to fill that void sometimes, it would be alright providing your father doesn't throw a tantrum if he finds out, which he probably will. If he does, you will simply have to stop. You know, you have been acting rather girlish around here lately. Maybe I had better start teaching you some home economics like cooking and sewing." "I don't know if you are kidding or not, Mom, but that would be alright with me", said Toni. On the practical side, it would come in handy if I end up a bachelor." "Alright, your name will just be a little inside joke between us for the time being and when I use it, I will be talking to Toni with an I. You don't really have anything to wear though, do you?" "No, not really, except for my girls uniform." "I think we can do something to fix that if you like." "That would be neat, Mom. Could I get some pretty dress pumps too?" "We'll see, Toni." "Thanks Mom. You're the best!" "How are the boys in your gym class and your friends Carl and Rick taking the new Toni?" "To tell you the truth, Mom, Carl and Rick seem to be the only ones who pay much attention to me and they still seem OK. Rick did say something, but they chalk it up to my having to spend all that time with the team. We still go to the alley once in a while." "But not as frequently as before, right?" "Well, no, I guess not. I hadn't thought about it." So, Toni's Mom became 'her' co-conspirator and over the next six months, which took Toni into 'her' junior year, 'she' collected about a quarter closet full of skirts, blouses, dresses and shoes, even high heels, and one of the drawers in the chest seemed to fill up with lingerie and hose including a waist cinch with detachable garters. Over the summer, Toni spent a good bit of time with Brenda and the 'other' girls on the team and seemed quite happy with a level of acceptance 'she' had not had as Tony, either with the girls OR the boys. Ever so slowly, those little white pills were making some noticeable changes. However, as a cheerleader at the games, Toni had to be a boy. Well, maybe not. His feminine actions were now second nature to him. He wasn't exactly play acting anymore, a fact that the student body quite naturally picked up on. Now, even when he was dressed as Tony, most of the kids treated him like Toni. At first some of the guys made rude remarks but that stopped after a while. And his voice hadn't changed but he was putting on a little weight, but just in his chest and butt, which caused him to stop going swimming. It wasn't like the other boys with their pectorals getting large and hard. He was getting large and soft and rather pointed. In fact, his 3/8" erect nipples were showing through his tees and tanks, so he began wearing another shirt over them. The kids had figured he was hanging with the girls because he was gay and his 'dates' were pretty much limited to taking out those girls on the team that were shorter than he was. The problem was that if 'she' could pull it off, it was often Toni who went on the date and sometimes they would have to fight off a couple of boys before the evening was over. They would have a lot of laughs afterward, but Toni could not afford to pet with a boy, although she was unavoidably kissed by one at a dance and found herself, just for an instant, liking it. I mean, 'she' was looking up at him during a dance and he just reached down and kissed 'her.' She had been on 'the pill' about a year then. What could 'she' do? He was a member of the basketball team. It was through this experience that 'she' found out that he knew about 'her' and what he knew, the whole school probably knew, heaven forbid. That was quite a shock. No wonder everybody treated Tony like Toni. She had, quite naturally, mastered and owned several pairs of sexy high heels by this time and went to the dances in them as well as out shopping with Brenda and her mother. Otherwise, she wouldn't be tall enough to dance with a basketball player. This was turning out to be quite a year. She still maintained that she was not attracted to boys, however, not really, even though her body was taking on some definite new contours. She had to remove about a half pound of the jelly in the balloons and her wet dreams had ceased. On the rare occasions when Tony would self induce an orgasm, the tiny bit of fluid was now clear and watery. Toni was now getting as much if not more pleasure from her breasts. Mrs. Prentiss, the principal called Tony into the office one Friday before practice. Tony, have a seat, she began, or is it T-O-N-I? (Oh my gawd, here it comes. Even the principal knows.) "Yes, Mrs. Prentiss?" said Tony while crossing 'her' legs at the knee and unconsciously smoothing the skirt he was not wearing. "It has come to my attention that we won the cheerleading championship with five girls. I thought our team was four girls and a boy!" "Well, it was...I mean...it is, except they got my name misspelled on our application and we didn't want to jinx our chances, so the other...I mean the girls helped me to handle it." "Are you aware that the girl who cinched the competition for us was YOU?" "Well, yes ma'am. That's what we were counting on." "And it worked darned well too, and we appreciate your bringing that trophy back where it belongs. We are very proud of you Toni. Now, as to your conduct in school." "Are you aware that this is an open secret?" "Yes, I guess so." "Well, then, why are you pretending to be a boy on the squad? Look at you. You sit there demurely like a girl and if you had come in here with a little makeup on, it would have been Toni with an I in this interview. You are far too pretty for a boy now. What am I going to do with you?" "Well, I suppose I could cheer as Toni, if that is alright." "Poor child. Even the school board has found out. That is why we are having his talk. We think it would be more appropriate, considering your actions and appearance, if you DID cheer as a girl. At least you won't raise any eyebrows from across the court or on the football field. You have become rather disconcerting to look at. Very androgynous, I'd say. As to attending school, we are also considering THAT as well, as you are more than a little distracting in your present state, but only with your parent's permission, of course. And we also know about your platonic relationship with our star forward. I suppose I'll find out what he sees in you at tonight's game. You are free to dress as you please. If you haven't caused any fights by now, I guess you've been accepted as you are. That's all for now. Dismissed." "I'm speechless, Mrs. Prentiss. Thank you. I'll talk to my Mom." And so Tony, now still yet a bit more Toni and with the blessing of the school board, rushed home and told his mom the whole story. She was absolutely dumbfounded that the school hadn't booted him out. Instead they were encouraging her son's femininity. And the school board knew? What a twist! This was really going to take some talking to get past Frank, her husband. But Frank hadn't been straight up either. Toni's mannerisms and walk had NOT escaped his attention and one night, just before getting into bed, he looked out the window and saw a GIRL in a dress and high heels coming up onto their porch and then heard the key turn and the door shut again. He came to bed. He was going to wait for the right time and then have a real heart to heart with his son. What he didn't' know was that today was going to be that day. When Frank got home from work, Toni's mother stepped up to the plate and went to bat for her son/daughter. They told him the whole truth and let the Dad decide. Well, Frank was no dummy. He had seen a girl coming home and he knew that if this was what his son/daughter AND his wife AND the school board wanted, then he just had to agree to it because he cared about his family and wanted everyone to be happy. Oh sure, he stammered and guffawed a bit. However, he took comfort in the fact that Tony was a very good student and would probably get a scholarship offer. He considered putting him in psychotherapy but with all the other factors, decided against it at the moment. This was going to really take some getting used to. His son was a cross dresser with his wife's and the school's approval. Incredible! OK, it's the 90's. "You may as well just go to the game as Toni with an 'I' if that is what you want. I won't be the one to ruin it for you." "Oh, thank you Daddy," and she threw 'her' arms around him and hugged him. Frank was a little less enthusiastic but he hugged her back. He was about to meet the daughter they never had. Life sure has some strange turns. "Hon, we are going to that game tonight, he said." "Frank, she'll freak if she sees us." "Well, I want to see the school's reaction and I also want to see 'her' in a situation where I'm less likely to go into shock at the sight of my son in a dress and makeup in public. Besides, I've never seen any of those moves that won the championship. I was proud of him then and I want to be proud of her now." So Toni went upstairs and plugged in her mom's hot rollers, got into her uniform with full makeup, finished the hair and went down to dinner. "My lord," said Frank, "I suppose you COULD break a few hearts like that. Well, sit down, uh... honey, I might as well start getting used to this. I have a feeling this is just the tip of the iceberg." He was right of course. And this was definitely NOT the time to tell him about Chad the forward on the basketball team and the dances or those little white pills that were softening his features and other things. Frank did attend that game and saw what, for all intents and purposes, was his daughter out there cheering her little heart out. It blew him away. Some of the kids even chanted, Toni, Toni when they wanted to see a special gymnastic move and she would respond with one. He may as well accept 'her'. The school did. Come time for the Junior Prom, Chad invited Toni as his date. 'She' didn't know what to do. On the one hand, she really liked Chad and he was a great dancer and 'she' had found out several times when he brought her home from a dance that he was indeed, a great kisser, a fact 'she' found herself unable to resist. What would Mom and Dad say? Would they let her go and what about a gown? She didn't have one. Toni talked it over with her mother and they decided that Mom should do the asking. It was alright with her. She figured that Toni had a crush on Brad and had no idea where this was all going to end up but for now, she wanted her son/daughter to be happy. "Frank?" "Yeah!" "We need to talk about Toni" "With an I or a Y?" "I" "OK, what's next on this peculiar agenda?" "She's been invited to the Junior Prom." "You're kidding...aren't you?" "Nope. Brad Connors, the star forward on the basketball team." "I don't know about this." "It is a well chaperoned dance, Frank. She can't get in any trouble." "Yes, but going out with a boy on a date?" "They'll be with other people all the time, Frank. The whole school knows anyway. What's the harm?" "The harm is they'll think Tony is gay, that's what." "Frank, you really don't get it do you? They probably already DO if not a transsexual, so maybe he is Frank, but then what would a straight boy be doing asking him to the Prom? I've already asked her if she has had sexual relations with a boy and she has denied it." "Well, what would you expect?" "No, I believe her, Frank." "Brad obviously looks at our Toni and just sees another pretty girl he likes. And I've asked. He is not gay." "OK. I give up. Let her do whatever 'she' wants. She's almost 18. I can't ride herd on her forever. She'll do what she wants away at college anyway." "Exactly Frank. Mrs. Prentiss has even called me and suggested that it might be better if Tony attended school as TONI for her senior year and again with the school board's blessing." "What's wrong with those people? Don't they know she's a boy?" "It seems that is only a technicality at this point, Frank." "Fine, but if she starts coming home black and blue, I'm not going to defend 'her.'" "Frank, if that were going to happen, it would have long ago. They have accepted her. The people who don't think she is gay probably think she is one of those 'transsexuals' or something like I said. " "Now THAT has definite possibilities, said Frank. Look at the build on her. Where did THAT come from? She HAS to wear a bra and that butt of hers!" "Hormone imbalance no doubt, Frank. Maybe she really was supposed to be a girl and something screwed up in my womb." "Alright. From now on, if Tony wants to live his life as Toni, that's his business. It's your problem. He's still my kid and I love him but this sure isn't making it any easier. And what's more, I AM NOT going to pay for a sex change. Is that understood?" "Yes, Frank. Calm down. We'll take this one day at a time." "And another thing." "Yes, Frank?" "I want her to start seeing a shrink, at least until she or he graduates high school. That's all I ask. Agreed?" "Alright Frank. I'm betting she's pretty mixed up by now and it would do her good. I'll see to it." "Fine." So, at the end of her junior year, Toni did begin seeing a psychiatrist. She also began going to the community swimming pool proudly displaying a young woman's face and figure and didn't care who saw it. After three months of twice weekly visits, the psychiatrist called Toni's mother with his preliminary diagnosis. "He is definitely attracted to boys but feels it morally wrong to pursue it in this body. I don't know the origin of the hormone imbalance that has caused his body to change. Whatever it is, it has been going on for some time as his male equipment is absolutely tiny, hardly worth mentioning as a male. On the surface, I'd say he is, for whatever cause, gender dysphoric, meaning a girl in a boys body. However, I think we need to continue probing. Nonetheless, on the basis of what I have found so far, I would like to start him on normal levels of estrogen for transsexuals which will mean a weekly injection and pills, with your permission, of course." "He seems much happier and well adjusted as our daughter, Doctor. Give her the 'scripts and I'll see they get filled." "I'll be happy to write a letter concerning my diagnosis if you wish." "I think that would be a good idea Doctor. Thank you." August 15: The school staff had returned and cheerleading and football practice have commenced and Toni had been elected captain of the team. Mrs. Prentiss stopped into practice one day. "Toni, may I see you in my office?" "Sure, Mrs. Prentiss." "Toni, I understand that you have been in psych therapy over the summer and further that the doctor has recommended that you go on large doses of female hormones. Is that right?" "Yes, Ma'am. I'm already taking them." "I see. Then we are sure to soon be seeing a fully mature young woman. Is that safe to assume?" "Yes, ma'am." "And you have no qualms about this?" "Not any more. It all started out as a game but I have found that I really love being a girl." "Well in that case, we don't have much choice. I want you to attend school this year as a girl as for all intents and purposes, you are one and will become even more so. I've become aware that you have already shared the girl's locker room, so that is not a problem and you may use the girl's powder rooms as well. I imagine by March, you'll be in a C cup and I know you prefer to be a girl, so that is the way it will be. The staff will be informed. You are now a Miss instead of a Mister. I think this will serve both our needs better and lessen confusion. I know from going to the games that you know how to use makeup and style your hair, and you certainly act like a young lady, so if you want to let your nails grow some more, they are quite pretty already by the way, just be yourself and I guess this will all work itself out. We'll only have to deal with it for nine months at any rate. Alright?" "Terrific Mrs. Prentiss. Wait till I tell the girls." Well, now Toni and Brad could be a little more open with each other and the school. She was now a pre-operative transsexual as far as they were concerned, not a gay young man. The impact of that escaped no one. She would, at some time in the not too distant future, be legally and physically female in every meaningful sense of the word. And, although it had been a long, slow process, over the time since she first accepted those little white pills, Tony's mind was becoming Toni's mind, a female mind, a mind attracted to boys and nurturing and she believed that she was falling in love with Brad. Toni had worked all summer as usual and earned a good bit of money which she spent a lot of on clothes, of course. And shoes. She loved shoes all heights and styles and color; not those gross ugly chunky ones but the classic feminine styles and the pumps with the narrow and spike heels. And she never went to school in jeans; always a skirt and blouse or dress with flats or mid heels. There was no more confusion about her gender. She was a girl. You could look into her eyes and they were awash with contentment. And she did let her nails grow out and kept them beautifully polished. She had a little catching up to do but her buddies gave her a lot of help. It wasn't long before Tony was relegated to a foot locker in the basement and Toni took over the bedroom and closet. By Christmas that year, there wasn't a hair's difference between her and any of her friends. Well, with one tiny exception; a very limp, tiny exception, that produced nothing but urine while squatting in the girl's lavatory. Between the girlfriends and the boys, we had to get a second phone line. She was up to an extremely full B cup by then and other boys were asking her out on dates much to her father's chagrin. He had to look on the bright side. She couldn't get pregnant. On the other hand, the idea of a boy fondling his daughter left him a little edgy but he knew it was happening. After all, he had been there. And he had seen her come in with her lipstick smeared. Well, she was 18 now. It was her business. Her grades were excellent and she would get a scholarship offer or two (it turned out to be three) colleges, but he wondered who was going to college and how they were going to get around the gender problem with her high school diploma and all the male I.D. Well, that was fairly easy. In April, after she turned 18, she applied for and was granted a name change to Antonia Marie. Toni for short. She had a cheering section in the back of the court room. Guess there wasn't any more doubt who was going to college now, was there? With the letter from her doctor, she and her lawyer had a meeting with the Registrar of the college and she was accepted under that name with all the entitlements of that station-female. Under the circumstances, it's not hard to understand why she took psych as her major. She now knew a lot about the workings of the mind and wanted to understand what drove her and others like her. She planned to specialize in gender related disorders when she graduated. She and Brad saw each other often as they were only 100 miles apart. It was always Brad. Nobody else could steal her heart, or so she thought! The end...probably. Epilogue: A year after they graduated, Frank relented and helped Toni become a woman. She had been a cheerleader in college too and had quite a few friends from school at the church where he gave his daughter away to Brad. Frank still doesn't quite have it all put together but he loves her and one way or another, he knows he is going to have grandchildren to spoil. .