Fraternity Girl
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Fraternity Girl: Part 5 free porn video
Fraternity Girl
By Diana Kimberly Heche
Part 5
The precious few relationships I established as Patricia while on campus, were all in
their own way very complex. And, possibly with the exception of Kevin, none more
so than Ben. Unlike Kevin who was aware of my true gender before becoming
sexually involved with me, Ben had been mislead. He was simply a man who went
on a double date and found himself crossing a very ambiguous line, a line he was
not even aware existed at the time.
His subsequent anger and confusion were understandable. As was his desire to fuck
me forcibly in the shed with Kevin. It was his desire to take control of what he felt
had been taken from him - certainty of his sexuality. And while he was angrily
plunging his penis deep into my ass, I could feel the vengeance in each of his
thrusts, the frustration and his own humiliation in every pump. And while I am fairly
certain his desire wasn't from the same dark shadow of anger that spawns rape, it
wasn't far from it either. But at that moment in time I didn't care. My concerns were
far more narrow. I felt nothing but a sense of relief that my indiscretion was safe.
Ben's taking me in the shed with Kevin was a mutual pact of silence.
But as the days passed, the feeling of relief subsided, and a different emotion took
its place: shame. Shame that I went along so willingly. Being Patricia was not about
humiliation or gang bangs in lawn sheds. Although fraught with every hurdle
imaginable since becoming a pledge task, being Patricia after all, was always about
freedom. Freedom to be who I wanted to be. Freedom not to be caught in the box of
pre-prescribed gender. Yes, I understood how Ben felt I humiliated him first, and
wanted a release. But this was just bad blood building on bad blood. We needed to
get that out of the way, and start, if possible, with a clean slate.
I picked up the phone and dialed Ben's cell phone number, he picked up almost
instantly, "Ben its Patricia." There was a long pause, "Lance" he said simply. His
tone of voice was devoid of emotion, it was difficult for me to read. "No actually, its
Patricia. I want to try to get together and talk." Another long pause. "I don't think
that's best, actually". His sentences had the clipped neutral sound of someone who
couldn't, or didn't want to, talk. I could sense this conversation was going nowhere.
"Ben, listen. I'm going to the Corner Leaf Cafe in an hour. It's a good ways off
campus and students don't go there much. I hope you'll join me. Bye."
*******
The cafe was nearly empty, amazingly so for such a warm beautiful day. I chose a
back table partially shaded by a tree. I pushed my chair out and pulled my long skirt
up over my knee to let the sun touch my legs. I leaned back moving my face into the
dense shade of the leaves above. The cool of the shade and the warmth of the sun in
combination felt perfect. I closed my eyes behind my sunglasses, opening them for
only the moment it took to order an ice coffee, and closing them again to take in the
smells and sounds of my surroundings. After about twenty minutes, I stopped
worrying about whether Ben would show or not. I was in love with this day.
"Hello. I have to say, you look quite nice". I opened my eyes. It was, of course, Ben.
After our truncated conversation on the phone more than a hour and a half ago, I had
not really expected him to come. Especially as he was now more than half a hour
late. He seemed less bothered and far more relaxed than I had anticipated. Maybe it
was the beautiful day. "Thank you Ben. Please sit". I gestured to an empty chair.
Ben sat directly across from me. I couldn't help but wonder how I looked through
his eyes. I was wearing a flowing spring yellow and blue print skirt with a long split
down the middle. My legs were smooth and bare as I was becoming quite
accustomed to, and enjoying, the no hosiery feel. I wore a pair of mid heel sandals,
with only two bands across my feet to hold them in. My arms were completely bare
from a light blue sleeveless tight spring sweater. I felt attractive. The side long
glances I received from the few patrons of the cafe, confirmed it.
"Listen, Ben, I want to apologize for my behavior. I should have never lead you to
believe that Patricia was..." I paused looking for the right words to keep this amiable
"... born a woman". Ben nodded, uncomfortably, but not overly pained. I took the
time to explain the situation to him in detail. I tried to get him to empathize as to how
fearful it was being in a position of getting exposed. How that type of panicky
feeling leads to bad decisions just to escape.
As I spoke he nodded patiently and to my surprise, smiled from time to time. He
gestured for the waitress mouthing the word 'beer'. Allowing me to finish he then
took his turn to speak. "When you called, I was right in the middle of something
and had zero, I repeat, zero intention of coming. As you seem quite aware, I have not
been a happy camper for the past few days. I've spent a lot of hours wondering
about my ... sexuality ... and other, crazier, things," he paused allowing the waitress
to bring his drink and leave, "but after I hung up the phone, I had a strange feeling
of anticipation. Now don't get me wrong - but I had that feeling of anticipation you
get before," he took a long hard swig of beer, "you go on a date or want to see
someone. I wanted to see you".
His face grew into a serious counterpoint, there was more to be said, "Listen, I don't
know if you have an interest in me. I don't know if, as you've said, you've invited me
here to do anything but apologize. But ...just as you feel fear of discovery, having
any sort of heavy relationship with a ... with you ... would make me feel the same
way. I would be in constant fear of discovery." He took a long draw from his beer,
his face softened, "That said, I go to State where not a soul knows Patricia. If you
want to visit from time to time, I would take you out, introduce you to people, and do
all the things that would make your time there nice. I just can't be with you all the
time. I hope that doesn't offend you and I know on many levels that's a contradictory
thing to say - 'I don't want you but I want you' - but I am just coming to terms with
this. But its a positive coming to terms".
I smiled, "It's okay Ben. I just wanted to apologize ... remove any anger that might
be between us. I wasn't really comfortable with what went on with the deception, or
what happened in the shed, and just wanted to talk it out. The fact that you took the
time to seriously think about whether or not we could be together for any length of
time was flattering. It's more than I was asking for."
Ben stood, and I rose with him, giving him a peck on cheek. He began to say
something, but decided otherwise. The second man I had left without words in as
many days. I sat a sipped my ice coffee and watched him walk away. He turned out
to be a surprising man, that Ben. A visit to State sounded kind of nice.
******
I was creating quite a buzz around the fraternity this particular Monday morning. I
was stretched out on the oversized bench situated at the front of the house. It was
large and multi-tiered and could easily seat 15 people side by side, but for now I had
it all to myself. I was lying on my slightly arched back with my thighs exposed
nearly to my panties. Through my choice of bra and padding, I was particularly
busty today and gave the illusion of cleavage just spilling out of my top, pillowy and
inviting. I wore a heart shaped pair of "Lolita" style sunglasses, twirling a lollipop
about in my mouth. My feet twisted aimlessly back and forth in a pair of high heel
strappy sandals, with one shoe dangling perilously close to falling off. To the world,
I looked to be an updated version of a 40's pin up girl. And on a nice warm Spring
day, where hormones and libido ran high, I was making them higher.
Many of the fraternity brothers walking past wondered who the red haired girl in the
tiny summer dress, sunning herself, was. Some let loose with an earnest lusty
comment to one of the brothers before, to their great embarrassment, discovering it
was me. Others recognized my "Patricia look" as soon as they saw me and
wondered just how deep into dressing as a girl I had gotten. Amusement, discomfort
and sexual desire swirled around, often in equal parts, often within the head of the
same individual.
Several of the frat brothers joined me. Many felt as though they had to make some
excuse instead of coming over and sitting on their own bench. I was warmly
amused. Excuses are for the guilty, and in this case the guilt ran in the form of
sexual confusion and excitement that I brought on. They couldn't allow to others, or
to themselves, that they just wanted to scope out the girl. Their comments ran
predictably; outright amazement and honest praise for how good I looked - and
those I earnestly thanked - and locker room style "jokes" about taking me out in the
woods and doing me. I answered those playfully, "you don't have enough manhood
for me" and "have you been having wet dreams about me again?"
Like the party of Wednesday night, I was striking the right tone. Although inwardly
I was a little nervous, I always felt like I took a risk being too adept at the "Patricia
role", outwardly I was looking comfortable. I didn't try to divert or down play the
fact that I indeed did look good. Quite the opposite. I could feel the eyes checking
me out as I shifted in seductive ways, and I was certain if I were to put my hand
around a crotch or two, I wouldn't be surprised to what degree this checking out was
affecting them. Men are visual. And these men were allowed to look at me - take in
my shape and form - under the guise of amazement and teasing, harder than most
girls would put up with. And they would never say so out loud, but gender be
damned, they liked what they saw.
But I wasn't doing my best smoldering sex kitten act to make my future fraternity
brothers hard. I was doing this while waiting for Kevin. I was going to try use one
of the oldest ploys in the book and make him jealous, make him realize that perhaps
he had a need for me that he wasn't readily admitting. Granted, he had shown up at
my door this weekend sheepishly and apologetic and that was a step. But just a step.
After a half an hour of "playing with the boys" I could hear Kevin's voice as he
approached the house. He looked at me and his eyes registered a microsecond of
shock, a lot for someone as collected as Kevin, which he just as quickly removed
from his face. By this point, I had playfully thrown one of my legs over one of the
pledges. To the casual eye not knowing of the fraternity or of Patricia, it looked like
a girl lounging about with potential suitors. Or a Madonna video.
In the same teasing, overly sexed voice I had been using on the others, I looked up at
Kevin, "Hey there studly. You going to pay a girl a visit sometime, before one of
these handsome men sweeps me away?" The bench laughed. My tone belied the
seriousness of the request and was in line with much of the nonsense banter that had
been flying around all morning. As a rule, Kevin and I avoided making conversation
too directly, or spending too much time in each other's company. We felt it was too
risky. Kevin understood that the by making this statement, no matter how disguised,
I was cutting straight to the chase.
He, however, was the classic cool customer as only someone who has juggled scores
of women and been caught, quite literally, with their pants down can be. Kevin didn't
bat an eye. "Oh I'll come check you out alright baby, you'll never go back to trousers
when I get done with you." "Will you now?" I asked, and again the bench laughed at
the surreal exchange. "Well you better show me something then, because Michael
here," Michael was the fellow pledge who had ended up with my leg across him, and
shared my next class, "wants to walk me class and carry my books. And everyone
knows what a girl magnet he is". Everyone erupted again. Although one of the more
horny individuals around, Michael was no girl magnet. He was known as the
fraternity project, someone who the brothers were destined to get laid before the end
of his freshman year, despite the odds against him. But as I teased him, the leg I had
across his lap felt a slight growth as his penis betrayed him and spoke directly to his
lust. I had an idea.
I stood up and motioned languidly for Michael, but my eyes were locked with
Kevin's. Michael checked his watch dopily, uncertain at quite what to do. We had to
go to class, but my summoning made it look like he was going to trail after me like
the love sick pup I had just made claim he was. He stood up, sat back down, and
stood up again. This was turning into a sitcom. I made it easy on him. In a more
serious tone I noted "and Michael knows how much the professor flies off the
hinges when we're late". My fellow pledge rose almost apologetically, and we were
off to class.
As I walked I rationalized the decision I was about to make over and over in my
head. I looked over at Michael. If I went through with this, it would be riddled with
consequences if it went wrong. And there was no question that I would be using him
for my own means. Would I be one of those user that I hated so much? But I did
feel him grow hard against my leg, so was I really using him? I made the decision.
******
I stood up to find he was hard again. Taking his penis in my hand I slowly rolled
my tongue over the top of his shaft before sliding it slowly through my wet waiting
lips. As his hips came off the bed, I shoved his cock down the back of my throat,
moving my head up and down pressing my lips against his rigid shaft. I felt his hips
rise further and I released him from my mouth. His penis glistened with the wetness
of my lips. "Not yet" I told him pressing my index finger across his lips. He
moaned pleasurably, and the smell of the Budweisers I had spent the afternoon
pumping him with, floated from his mouth with every gasp of pleasure. I pulled out
a condom and slowly rolled it over his eagerly waiting hard dick. Sticking my finger
in the lubricant, I shoved a finger in and out of my ass until I could feel myself
relax. Sliding his hips forward on the bed, I mounted him. He groaned loudly as his
cock felt the warm inviting tightness of my hole. I grabbed the back of his head and
pushed him into my cleavage. I felt his tongue lick wildly over my mounds. I moved
up and down on his dick as it filled my ass. I moved up and down, more and more
quickly until I was practically bouncing in his lap. Suddenly, I squeezed my cheeks
and sphincter as hard as I could. It wasn't long before he exploded with body
wracking joy into my ass, his eyes rolled into the back of his head. He shook with
spasm after spasm.
Michael was a virgin no more.
We cleaned up and I changed clothes. Michael began looking uncomfortable, and I
handed him a beer. I sat down in front of him and grabbed his hands, "I know what
you're thinking. Listen, in many countries all over the world, this is common. Many
cultures don't believe you're gay unless you are the one taking it. All that happened
here is you fucked a girl. A girl you were obviously attracted to ... or you wouldn't
have had wood all over her leg on the frat bench. Sure my clit was a longer than
some, just think about how your dick felt. There is too much sex to be had in this
world to start shutting doors."
Michael nodded slightly, but didn't look overly troubled, and I had a feeling that this
mild rationalization was more than enough. It hadn't taken me much to talk Michael
out of his class schedule into the student union for beers. And it didn't take much
for me to talk him out of his clothes. This was always in the back of his mind, and
the desire and vigor at which his virginity was lost, told me everything I needed to
know.
The shorts Michael had been wearing were now stained with his semen. I pointed it
out and he asked if I could borrow a pair of mine. I gave him a pair of subdued grey
"Lance" shorts, and told him I'd take care of washing his. Michael stood up and
kissed me deeply and appreciatively. "This probably can never happen again," he
said. I laughed. I was so worried about using him, and he just told me we were a one
night stand. I slapped him on his ass moving him toward the door "there are always
booty calls my friend". He smiled. As the door closed behind him, I wonder what
the world looked like to a man who just lost his virginity in such an original fashion.
Did I just open a world of doors, or close them? I had a feeling they would be
opened.
I looked at my watch. Kevin would be here soon. I took a deep breath. The last
loose end I needed to tie up to move on with my life ... one way or another.
******
There was a knock on the door. I swung it open and, as expected, there was Kevin -
his left hand in his pocket, right hand holding a beer, his face held the expression of
a man who has never seen a worry, no less had one. It was vintage Kevin. He very
much reminded me of the of the boy I met ... what seemed lifetimes ago now... on
the driveway of my home.
He casually looked me over and smiled his boyish grin. "You look nice Patricia.
And from the smell of things," he was now walking into the apartment and his nose
took in the fragrance of sex not twenty minutes old, "I'm not the only one who
thinks so". He said this as offhand as one talks about the weather. But his intent was
pointed. I felt a quick pang of guilt for using Michael as an means to an end. I had
even made sure to leave his jism stained shorts not quite hidden for Kevin to see.
Kevin tossed the empty beer bottle in the trash and helped himself to one from my
fridge. He sat down on the couch, took a drink, and then seemed suddenly focused
and ready to talk. He was his direct, cut to the chase, self, "I didn't really take you to
be someone who fucked around to try to make someone else jealous. Pretty
dangerous precedent, don't you think? I mean, we just barely escaped the Ben thing
didn't we?"
Although I had left the signs obvious for him to see, I didn't expect to get called on it
so bluntly. He was right, and it made me squirm a bit. I knew I wasn't playing one
hundred percent safe and I knew I wasn't playing one hundred percent fair. But
either was he. The reason we brought me out in the open for this pledge task was to
facilitate our being together. I'm not the only one at fault here. And he must have
realized this, otherwise why did he come by this weekend to apologize. I asked him.
"This weekend you came by and said you fucked up." He slid his foot across the
carpet, looking at the top of his shoe, the closest thing to nervous I've seen out of
him yet. "After the party ... you asked me about us ... and I basically said there was
no 'us'." Much of what he said that night echoed Ben's sentiments at the cafe, but
with a colder, sharper edge: he was not a one woman guy, and I was, as a the special
kind of woman I am, a very difficult person to be a one woman guy with. But it
didn't change the fact that I wanted to be.
Kevin leaned forward, placing his chin on his hands. "And I did fuck up. You see, I
don't always come at this from the right angle. And I think because of that, I made
some bad calls." He swirled the beer around on the bottom of the bottle, examining
it contemplatively, "For instance, anyone who is treated as much like a woman as
you are, and is as much a woman a you are ... and you are .... must be tapped into a
feminine side - reserve if you will - that I can't comprehend. I mean, I've known you
a short period of time, but you've been Patricia, in one form or another since you
were, what, six, eight? It never occurred to me to consider what was happening to
you emotionally. You, like any girl, had the possibility falling in and wanting a
relationship. I just didn't think it through. So there are a lot of things I should have
done differently, considered differently." He threw both his hands in the air in a half
shrug gesture. "So I fucked up. I am truly sorry."
We let that hang in the air for awhile. This was a fairly big step for Kevin. I was
quite certain not many girls heard that phrase. He went on, "But what you have to
ask yourself, honestly, is what do you, Patricia, and let's not forget about Lance,
really want?"
Lance.
For the longest stretch of my life, his face was barely seen in my mirror. Even in the
times I didn't have to, I reached for the things that made me Patricia. What of Lance?
"There's going to come a time, when this pledge task comes to an end. What then?
Even if it were possible, do you want to erase Lance? I don't think so. He's going to
want to drink beers, chase women, play fraternity softball games. What of our
relationship then? Now stop me if I'm off base here, but you're not a woman trapped
in a man's body. You're a woman AND a man trapped in a man's body. The beauty
of you is you can be both."
His words, in his own way, were echoing the words of Dr. Jenkins. Two very
different people telling you the same thing could not be shrugged off as a mere
coincidence. And I did have it all. I was in the unique position to have more of my
life than I had before. I had people who accepted me as Patricia, both men and
women. I had a full sex life, and a comfort zone. Kevin finished my thoughts for me
"And at this exciting point in your life, do you really believe what you want is a
'Kevin only' relationship?"
The beer in Kevin's hand looked good, and I grabbed one for myself. I sipped from
it thoughtfully. "No, I guess I don't want a 'Kevin only' relationship." I paused and
thought more. "I want a 'Kevin first' relationship. And, in the perfect world, that is
what I would ask of you" Now it was his turn to think. He opened his mouth slowly,
closed it, opened it slowly again, and spoke in a slow thoughtful tone. "So ... if I am
going to the movies ... and I call you first. Or I want to go out and have a nice dinner
... and call you first -" I interrupted, "Would be doing more than enough."
We sat in silence for a long while. Only the infrequent car passing underneath the
window broke the quiet. Kevin was the first to speak, "What of the rest of the pledge
task? Believe me, the Jane Russell act you pulled today on the frat bench is going to
bring more attention to you, not less. And they'll expect much more of that. And
you've got two weeks to go. Where will we be able to go out on dates and such, once
this is over? Are we going to hide out like two people having an affair? Or we just
going to step right into the limelight. Do we want either of those scenarios?"
I answered him truthfully. "I don't know. I don't know if it can work at all. I
understand the monster sized problems this brings on, for both of us. I just want
some sort of commitment from you that we'll try. That's it. We'll try."
He thought some more and slowly his face warmed into that famous boyish grin of
his, his eyes sparkled with untold mischief. If I knew Kevin, he was plotting how to
make this work as we spoke. "We'll try alright." He stood up, happy buoyant, his
beer empty. "Oh. And for the record. It worked. I was jealous."
******
EPILOGUE: TWO YEARS LATER - GOSSIP IN THE CORNER
"There she is again. That girl from University. I notice she hangs on her boyfriend
pretty hard. Do you think he knows that she comes all the way over here to see Ben
on some nights?"
"Oh, he knows alright. You can tell something is up. The three of them have that
smug look of someone sharing a secret. I just don't think the boyfriend cares. Look
at how casual he is. You can tell he's not the stressing type."
"Sure. Look at him. I mean, Ben's nice looking ... don't get me wrong, but if all the
boys look like this one she brought from her school, why would she need to come
all the way over to State ..."
"And she thinks she's hot stuff just because the boys at the parties are all over her.
And, wasn't her hair a lot redder just a few days ago?"
The End
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