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Of All Things Remembered On a Christmas evening not unlike the ones before, I found myself overindulging on the eggnog. I always did like a stiff drink on the holidays. Consequently my tongue was loose and the grandkids had gathered around to listen. A pile of wrappings and trash lay in the corner from the now naked gifts, and their parents were all gathered around the television watching football. The children had learned over the past holidays that I did not hold much back and found me tactlessly entertaining. Most of them were 12 to 16 years old and complaining about their social lives or personal relationships. "Like they have it so bad," I thought to myself. The grandkids expected a story, and the story of Regi and Felix kept coming to mind. I had kept their story a secret for more than 40 years now, but for whatever reasons the mood seemed right to share. My audience was comprised of my offspring after all, so I felt I could trust them. As I cleared my throat the kids respectfully settled down to listen. I was after all a fantastic story teller, and I took pleasure in being the center of attention. I took another sip of eggnog.....to wet my throat. A long time ago in the fair city of Baton Rouge, lived two very dissimilar people. Their lives were intertwined in ways that most of you would never understand. I don't know all facts, but I will fill in the gaps with a reasonable estimation of the truth. My story begins on the campus of LSU, where these two people studied toward their respective career fields. Regina Morris was a beautiful sophomore at LSU. She was in the Tri- Delta sorority and lived in their house off campus with many of her sisters. They were a lively group of girls, who loved to party and had a reputation for being the wildest and sexiest girls on campus. Regina, or Regi for short, was a large reason for their reputation. She was a very attractive 21 year old woman who could have had a career with Playboy magazine if she had desired it. She was a blonde, but not naturally, and had grown her hair till it reached the middle of her back. She wore her hair in large curls and it always seemed to lie perfectly. She was mostly Caucasian, but had a quarter Hawaiian in her which played well to her advantage. If my memory servers me right, her bra size was about a 34C. The girls in the audience rolled their eyes as their inebriated grandfather continued. The boys in the group chuckled imagining that their grandfather had once slept with this fictitious character. Clearing his throat with purpose the old man continued. Regi was stunning to say the least. She possessed a 21" waste which flared out to modest 30" hips. She completed her looks with flawless pampered skin and a perfect smile. Regi's most charming trait was her large, brilliant green eyes. Her friends called them "anime" eyes. They were capable of melting any man who dared to venture a glance into them. Regi came from a wealthy family who spoiled her. She always wore the latest in fashion and jewelry. Regi was pampered and cared for in every way. She was attending LSU to study English. She picked it because she believed it would be easy. She was not entirely wrong when you compared her choice to other degrees. Regi's mother had died when she was young and her father had been too busy running his law firm to parent her. Consequently, she was raised by nannies and daycare workers, but she found friends with similar backgrounds and never let it bother her. Her father showed his love with lavish gifts, and access to seemingly endless amounts of money. That is not to say Regi grew up not knowing the meaning of the word no, however, her limits were a lot higher than the average person's. For her 21st birthday her father donated a sizable gift toward the Tri-Deltas which earned Regi a room in the house, making her a key member of the sorority. Regi was also given a 2009 Porsche 911 Turbo, which she adored. She lived the good life and enjoyed it to the fullest. Regi squandered her good looks on a daily basis and had a loose set of morals. It was her favorite pastime to go out to the bars and pick up guys. She was a slut, and loved every part of it. Regi cherished sex, and was absorbed in the lifestyle. Regi dressed sexy, drank way too much, and seduced anyone who was dumb enough to fall for her charm. In contrast to her carefree lifestyle, she was not stupid when it came to sex and used birth control with additional protection. The dark side to her behavior escaped her notice. Her sorority sisters despised the person she was. Every guy they ever showed interest in would be swept up by Regi's allure. None of the sisters would touch a guy who had been with Regi. The men that knew her treated her like a piece of meat, and would grope her assets without fear or respect. Regi just loved the attention and did not care what the guys thought or did, because they would still buy her drinks in the bar and make love to her at night. The best way to describe her would be imagine the personification of the song "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga. Tri-Delta had been asked by the vice president of academic affairs, Dr. Laura Hemly, to host a party for an honor's fraternity. The men in this fraternity had represented LSU academically over numerous competitions and returned to the University undefeated. The party was unofficially forced on the Tri-Deltas as an opportunity to improve there standings with the university. Regi and the sisters went to work. They decided on a heaven and hell party. The sorority house had three floors; it was a two story house with a finished basement. The girls spent the first day stripping out all of their personal belongings and moving them to the shed behind the house. They then bought cray paper, signs, balloons, and whatever crafts they could come up with. Friends from the sound and lights club started next. They installed lights and speakers on every floor as well as put sound proof, portable tiles between the floors. The girls began to decorate once the infrastructure was in place. The 1st floor was designed to be hell. The men who entered would meet girls dressed as vampires or demons. Coolers of jungle juice were mixed and placed in the corner near the tap. The windows were covered leaving little usable light; therefore those who entered hell would have to rely on a demon or vampire to help them. Lastly there was a dark chair in the corner where the "dark lady" sits. She was in charge of everything that happened in hell. The middle floor was purgatory. It was decorated to be somewhat boring. There were some plain tables and chairs. There were decks of cards and glasses full of dice. A keg was in the corner. A large area had been cleared for dancing and a DJ booth was set up in the corner. The top floor was covered in white. There were couches strewn about with white sheets over them. A throne was at the top as you entered, an old prop from a skit, which was where the "lady of light" would sit. Behind the lady of light were four bedrooms, where any angel could take a guy for 10 minutes in heaven. It was all a tease.....for most girls anyway. This party was always one of Regi's favorites. She was also excited because she did not know the guys that were coming. By late afternoon the party was stocked with food and drink. It was Regi's turn to lead the party and she divided the girls into three groups evening out the girls sexual appeal. Each floor was equally stacked. She did, however, cast herself as the "lady of light." The girls dressed in lingerie which was color coordinated to each floor, and believed they were ready. Dr. Hemly had set up the party as a reward for Gamma Theta's success in the SEC Academic Bowl. She also made some phone calls that would keep the other fraternities away for the night. The honor students and the frat boys did not mix well. Among the honor students was a young man named Felix. You might ask yourself why you should care about Felix. His lifestyle was bland, when compared to Regi's. Felix came from humbler stuff. His family could not afford for him to go to college. He worked hard through high school and earned an academic scholarship to LSU. Felix could not afford to live in the dorms so he stayed in a house owned by a Lutheran church he attended. Felix was a member of Gamma Theta, an honors fraternity at LSU. It was his senior year of college and he had achieved a steady 4.0 GPA through his time at LSU. It was an understatement to say that Felix possessed above average intelligence. In spite of his humble background, Felix felt himself superior to most people. His intelligence gave him an edge over most people, but unfortunately led him to feel arrogant or better than most. Felix's lifestyle choices; refraining drunkenness, staying in shape, eating right, not using profanity, and abstinence fueled his feeling of superiority over others. Felix believed in his heart that he was destined to lead. He was in control of all things in his life. His physical appearance and tone added to his superiority complex. Felix had a deep voice that caught the attention of anyone within an earshot. He was athletic, but dedicated most of his time to his academics. Felix would work out a couple of times a week to keep his shape, but he was by no means ripped. He was 5'10" and kept his weight around 185 lbs. He had 3" long light brown hair (like Patrick Dempsey's) and blue eyes, which contrasted his family's Polish heritage. His mother always said he had eyes meant to unveil the secrets of the world. Felix was studying political science at LSU with the aspirations of going to law school once he graduated. If you judged Felix by his worldly possessions you would be sadly mistaken. In contrast to his arrogance he appeared humble. All of his belongings were second hand or purchased from discount department stores. He did not own a car and relied heavily on the church's support. Five other students lived with him in the house. They pooled their money together to buy food in bulk, and members of the church would donate hot meals every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights. In appreciation the six students prepared the church for each sermon, cleaned it every Sunday night, volunteered to babysit, and took on neighborhood improvement projects. The community enjoyed a symbiotic relationship with the impoverish students. Five of the six students were members of Gamma Theta, and were looking forward to the party. Felix and his entourage strolled up to the house. The lawn was unkempt with beer cans and trash carelessly discarded across it. The boys knocked on the door respectfully waiting for permission to enter. The music inside could be heard through from outside. Felix pushed past the guys at the door and let himself in. "Fools," he thought to himself. Girls dressed in teddies, satin slips, and baby dolls rushed to the door with plastic cups of beer and jungle juice in hand, cheering the boys on. They passed them out as each guy filed in. Felix took a beer with a resolve to only sip that one beer throughout the night. The DJ put on some remixed Linkin Park and the party started. After all the guests had arrived in purgatory the girls explained the rules. A set of riddles were posted and any guy who attempted to answer one would either be right and earn a pass to heaven, or he would be wrong and go to hell. What heaven contained and why someone would want to leave the already scandalously dressed girls in purgatory were concealed, which only added to its appeal. It only took ten minutes before the first of the men were sent to hell. Felix had not even looked at the riddles. There were only six of them on the board and therefore only six men would be allowed to go to heaven. Carl, Felix's roommate, was eager to see what heaven had, but did not have much confidence in his ability to solve anyone of the riddles. "Felix, are you going to attempt the riddles?" Carl asked. "Why should I? The party is lively enough down here and we already know what is on this floor," Felix said. Felix was uncomfortable. The party went against his beliefs and he had already decided that he would stay for an hour in an attempt to not insult the girls. Felix was well connected on campus and knew the lengths Dr. Hemly went to make this party happen. The last thing he wanted to do was appear ungrateful. Disregarding Felix's objection to the girl's behavior and over consumption of alcohol, Carl kept badgering Felix to try. Loud cheers erupted from the tables as guys and girls played presidents and assholes. Another group was looking pretty sloshed from finishing their third game of up and down the river. There was only five more minutes till Felix's courtesy hour was up. An idea came to him, when Carl drunkenly slurred another request to solve the riddle. Three guys had since been sent to hell, and only one had managed to earn a pass to heaven. Felix decided to solve one of the riddles and give his pass to Carl. Felix liked his privacy and with any luck, Carl would stay in heaven leaving him alone for the rest of the night. Felix approached the board and read: "Complete the last two in this sequence: 1=3, 2=3, 3=5, 4=4, 5=4, 6=3, 7=5, 8=5, 9=4, 10=3, 11=?, 12=?" Felix laughed the riddle was ridiculously easy. He approached the "gate" where the answer to a riddle was supposed to be given. "The solution for both is 6, because that is the number of letters in the name of the numbers," Felix said with an air of arrogance. Groans emanated from the rest of the audience, as the meaning behind his answer settled. Two girls approached him. The first girl erased the solved riddle off the board. The second girl handed him a piece of gold foil that had been decorated with stickers to look like a ticket. All Felix had to do now was find Carl. The lights constantly flashed in his eyes and even though Felix resisted his eyes still tracked barely covered vixens. His gaze was torn away when he heard Carl's voice. "The remaining 11 toothpicks were arranged to spell the word NINE," Carl shouted. Two girls approached him. The first erased the riddle that read: "A man had twelve toothpicks in front of him. He took one away. Now he had nine in front of him. How is this possible?" The second girl handed Carl a similar ticket. Felix felt shock and disappointment at the same time. How could he leave the party now with a golden ticket and not offend someone? Carl, spying Felix, began an uncoordinated approach in his direction, spilling his beer on the people he ran into. "We did it! We both got tickets. I ask for safe passage to heaven," Carl shouted before Felix could shut him up. The party got quieter, while Carl and Felix were ushered to the stair case. Everything is out my hands, thought Felix. The two were rushed into the stair well and the door stealthily closed behind them to ensure none of the other guest would glimpse heaven. The stairwell was dark and smelled of spilled booze and regurgitated alcohol. Carl's attempt to climb the stairs ended in a face plant half way up. He was lying on the stairs about to pass out. It was clear that he did not drink very often and had overdone it. Felix was sickened by his roommate's behavior and climbed over him. He pushed the door open. The girls upstairs were dressed in white lacy unmentionables. The style of lingerie was similar to the girls downstairs, but unlike downstairs the lighting upstairs revealed everything. There boobs were held up high and smashed together for maximum cleavage. Their bottoms were impossibly small and the girls had oiled their smooth skin which made their bodies appear to glow in the lights. A busty red head ran around with a water cannon chasing the girls and laughing. The girls could have run around naked without revealing anything more. "Oil and water," Felix thought with a laugh. Felix was far out of his comfort zone, and worse off he was alone upstairs. Felix looked to find the guy who had solved the puzzle earlier, but he could not find him. The girls brought Felix drinks and made attempts to make him "more comfortable". Felix tried to entertain their requests while maintaining his morals. Regi saw Felix's resistance as a fun game. Felix's penis was straining against his pants. It was clear that his body and hormones were betraying his mind's intentions. Regi left her throne and seductively sat on his lap. The other girls gave her dirty looks behind her back. "There goes another one," the busty red head said beneath her breath. "So gorgeous, we made our riddles a little "harder" for our guest geniuses tonight," Regi said while stroking the inside of Felix's "leg". "Won't you drink up and enjoy the party with us? If you are really good maybe we can go back to my room tonight, and you can make an honest woman of me," Regi purred. Felix was conflicted. The most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on was sitting on his lap, working her tight ass into him. Her hands grazed against his hardening penis with each casual stroke against his inner thigh. The temptation had never been greater, but the words that left his mouth betrayed his sexual intentions. "Why would I want to make love to a whored out tramp like you," Felix replied. The temperature in the room felt subzero. Silence seemed to overpower the music blasting in the background. Regi stared at Felix as if his words had physically wounded her. The other girls stood around with their jaws hanging open. They did not care for Regi's behavior, but Felix's response was uncalled for and malevolent. "Sorry, I did not know you were gay," Regi covered. Regi lifted herself off of Felix's lap and asked him to leave. "So much for not offending anyone," Felix thought. Felix was insulted by Regi's comment, but knew there were no words that were going to repair his relationship with these girls tonight. He left with haste stepping over Carl in the stairwell. Felix remembered the stairwell had a fire escape at the bottom. He used it to exit into the backyard and walked home. Felix awoke the next day without any remorse for his behavior. He sat out to write a letter to the sorority thanking them for the party, and hoped that his actions did not make their way back to the university faculty. His roommates who arrived home around 4am slept till noon and nursed hangovers till late in the day. "What happened to you man? I remember us going up to heaven, but when I got up there you were gone," Carl asked. "You passed out on the stairs. I was up there for a while, but it did not feel right so I left," Felix replied. "You are understating what happened. Sandy, the red head with the big knockers, told me that you called one of the girls a whore, and then stormed out," Carl relayed. "Yeah, well....she was disgusting. I mean.....she was pretty, but her behavior. I am not attracted to girls of such.......low quality," Felix articulated with his usual air of superiority. "Yeah, well you managed to piss off every girl and consequently every guy in the house. Regi, the girl you insulted, got pissed and threw a tantrum. The girls had to end the party in heaven early, and sent everyone who complained to hell. You owe every guy in this house an apology," Carl said in escalation. "I do not owe anybody anything. I saved them from an oversexed whore and mistakes that would haunt them for the rest of their lives," Felix defensively replied. Carl gave up. Felix was sure he was right and there was nobody that was going to prove him wrong. Carl, however, did have a plan B, and smiled as he recounted the guy's after party actions. Carl and Sandy left the party early to go see a bayou witch who lived 30 minutes from Baton Rouge. They were fed up with Felix and Regi. With a mix of vengeance and a desire to teach them a lesson they asked the witch for help. Carl had met the witch, as she preferred to be called, when he and his family were evacuating New Orleans due to hurricane Katrina's predicted trajectory. The witch was walking down the side of the highway clutching to her luggage, and looking disheveled. The traffic was stop and go, and Carl felt sorry for her. He talked his parents into giving her a ride. The witch saw the purity of Carl's heart and promised him a favor. Last night he collected. All Carl and Sandy asked was that Regi and Felix learn a lesson from each other. They were both on opposite ends of the behavioral spectrum and needed to meet in the middle. The witch listened to what they asked for and did something neither of them expected. She got down on a knee and it looked as if she prayed, but as she did the rooms temperature changed wildly while a breeze seemed to swirl around them. Neither of them had any idea what they had really asked for or what had just happened. Felix was preparing a speech for tonight's award ceremony. He was so sure he had won the university's highest academic achievement award. He told his parents he had already gotten it. The banquet started with a dinner at 5pm and the winner would be announced at 7pm with a one hour social afterward. Felix sighed when he thought about the social. He would be much happier if he could just take the award and go. Regi bounced back from Felix's comments, with ease. She woke up next to some guy she hooked up with the night prior. Her head hurt a little, but it was nothing a little aspirin could not fix. She woke up her bed buddy and sent him home without ever asking his name. "So what are your plans tonight?" Sandy asked. "It is dollar night at Tigerland starting at 7pm. I am going to work some drinks there and see what happens," Regi replied. Sandy rolled her eyes, thinking the witch did not do anything but creep her out. She pretended to be interested, and agreed to go with her. "Someone had to keep and eye on Regi, or who knows what kind of reputation our sorority might get," she thought. The day went by quickly. Sandy and Regi were at Tigerland receiving drinks from guys as soon as they stepped up to the bar. Sandy sat down in the corner to nurse hers while Regi hung all over the guys paying for her drinks. She would shoot her drinks and within an hour be barely capable of speech. Felix had finished the banquets dinner, cleaning his plate to show respect to the women who made the food. He secretly hoped he was not going to get food poisoning. The chicken did not look fully cooked. The events speaker stepped up to the podium and dictated the history of the award. Felix tried to pay attention, but he was hit with a sudden headache, and felt odd. He saw images of guys at a bar, drinking and reaching out to touch him. He flashed back to the speech in the banquet hall. He felt weird again and blinked. Regi was downing her 6th or 7th drink of the night, while playfully allowing a guy to feel her up. The lustful looks coming from the other jealous guys elated her. Suddenly images of a man wearing a suit at a podium filled her head. The onset of sudden headache caused her to wince. She looked down and blinked. Felix opened his eyes, and felt dizzy. There was loud music blaring, and people were shouting over the top of it to talk. He felt like he was floating, and could feel a cold bottle in his hand. He worked to focus his eyes. A guy was handing him a beer. He reflexively took the beer from him and looked around in a panic. Where am I? What is going on? Who are these people? Despite his efforts to understand Felix could not focus his mind. The guy who handed him a beer squeezed his ass. He jumped startled by situation, and felt something totally unexpected. Felix's boobs bounced up and down with her jump. Felix screamed, but the sound that came out was a girl's voice. The sound of the music covered the panic in her voice and made it almost sound playful. The guy standing next to Felix kept his hand firmly cupping her left butt cheek. Felix was terrified. Realization started to set in. Felix was in the body of a girl at a bar and was clearly inebriated. The haze of cigarette smoke stung at her eyes. She set the bottle down on the bar and tried to walk away. The guy holding her butt pulled her in tightly. "Where do you think you are going pretty lady," the man said spraying beer from his mouth. Felix did not know what to say or do. She could not focus through the alcohol. She looked around for anyone that could help. "Regi and I need a moment guys," Sandy said. "And who might you be pretty thing? Do you mind if we get you a drink," a tall guy in the group aggressively said. "Who is this girl and who is Regi," Felix thought. The guys started to grab at Sandy and attempted to pull her in. Sandy tried to politely push them away, but they only reciprocated with strength and aggression. Sandy looked up and smiled. "You guys don't want us tonight trust me. We just started our periods yesterday. You know how us girls like to get on the same cycle," Sandy cunningly said. The guys parted from them faster than Hitler rolled through Poland. Sandy took her hand and led Felix out of the bar. Her hands were shaking from the encounter. Sandy was clearly scared of those guys. Felix was too drunk to be of any help. Sandy did not say much to Felix during their walk back to their house. Felix stumbled over her heels three times before Sandy helped her take them off and walk barefoot. Felix could not believe what she was feeling. She was definitely a girl, but it is what she was wearing or not wearing that concerned her the most. She was in nothing but a cocktail dress.......and I mean nothing. While at the bar she thought she felt a guy's hand reach up her short dress and grab her bare ass. Felix was not wearing any underwear. Her boobs hung free with no bra and nipples poked through the silk dress for the world to gaze at. The heels that she now carried in her hand were 3 inches tall and impossible to walk in. Felix stumbled to keep her balance as Sandy guided her up the stairs to her room. The whole world was spinning. Sandy tried to help her undress and put on some sleepwear. Felix remembered her dress coming off. She then slipped and fell on the bed; then nothing. Regi was in a full panic upon realization of whose body he was in. The speaker had called Felix's name twice and everyone was staring at him. Regi did not know what to do. "Go up there and take your award," Carl said with a push. Regi rigidly walked up to the podium, clearly terrified. The sound of the audience's murmurs escalated as Regi approached the speaker. "Congratulations, Mr. Felix Gerhinsky, this year's winner of the Wally Pontiff Jr. Academic Excellence Award," the speaker said starting a round of applause. The speaker moved off the podium and signaled Regi to take his place and say a few words. I will spare you kids the embarrassing things Regi said. I will just say that he severely made a fool out of himself, before returning to his seat. The speaker interrupted Regi's speech and saved the event, kicking off the social hour. Regi went up to the open bar and got a beer. Carl picked up on the changed behavior immediately. "What did the witch do," he thought. "Felix, what are you thinking? Half of the universities elite are hear. How do you expect to get into Harvard Law if you act like this?" Carl asked. "I am not Felix, you dimwit. Hey, I remember you from the party last night. You were too drunk to make it up the stairs," Regi said. "Regina," Carl inquired. "Yeah, how do you know it is me?" Regi asked with hope. "Look, first things first. We need to get you out of here before you destroy Felix's future. I will explain everything when we get back to our room. Put your beer down and pretend you have a headache over there in the corner. I am going to talk to the dean," Carl said. Regi did as he was instructed. As he walked he felt his penis pushing against his boxers and his sweaty scrotum against his inner thighs. It was so uncomfortable. His collared shirt and tie clasped tightly around his neck and he was uncomfortably warm in his suit. Regi found a table in the corner that was unoccupied and held his head as if it were going to split open. Regi spread his legs like he saw most men sit and found the position much more comfortable. He could see Carl and the Dean talking. "What is going on", Regi wondered. Thinking about the body he now inhabited, he started to like what was going on. He had millions of unexplored possibilities now. The first thing he wanted to do was find someplace private and masturbate. Then he wanted to find a girl and screw her brains out. The grandkids started to giggle. "You all are too immature. What would you do if you suddenly found yourself in the body of the opposite sex? I bet any one of you would have been thinking the same thing," I defensively said. The giggle quieted as the old man continued. "The Dean thinks we should get you home. I told him that you think you have come down with something and that is why you are acting so weird. He offered to call in the school physician if you needed, but I told him all you need is a good nights rest," Carl said. "Thank God, this place is boring as shit. Can I go grab my beer before we leave?" Regi asked. "No, let's get out of here," Carl insisted. Carl escorted Regi to the churches van and drove them back to the house. The house was only a couple of minutes away and Carl did not want to discuss things till they were home. They pulled into the church parking lot and hung up the keys. There house was across the street. "This is where we live......it is so small," Regi complained. Carl sighed and pushed past Regi to let him in. The house was not very large for the six students that lived there. It was a three bedroom/two bathroom house. The place was 1700 square feet, but the lack of furniture made it look larger. The living room had a couch, a 19" television, a beat up foosball table, and a lamp hanging over an old torn up recliner. Surprisingly the place did not smell bad. The guys did a decent job keeping the place clean. Carl led Regi to the largest room, which they got because they had lived in the house the longest. "Well this is our home. What do you think?" Carl asked. "I think it is quaint," Regi said with uncertainty. "Yeah the place is small, but it is home. I imagine you have some questions to ask," Carl replied "What happened? Why am I in Felix's body? Is this happening so I can get my revenge on him for what he did to me last night? How long is this going to last for?" Regi asked without hesitation. Carl took in a deep breath and analyzed Regi to see if he was serious. "Last night after you....I mean after Felix left the party and insulted you, Sandy and I went to meet a......friend. We did not want this to happen, we just wanted to get back at the two you for messing up the party," Carl explained. "Wait a second. How did I screw up the party?" Regi defensively asked. "Well.....Sandy said you were always a slut and took all the guys. Last night you tried to bed Felix, but he would not have you. You got angry and started yelling at everyone. Shortly after that tantrum all the guests left. Sandy found me in the stairwell and helped me up. We decided to go see a witch I had helped out in the past. She owed me a favor. We asked her to teach the two of you how to be more like each other. I guess switching your bodies was how she decided to do it. As for how long you are going to be switched, I honestly do not know. You could always drive down to the witch's place and ask her yourself," Carl explained. Regi sat down on a bed he thought was his and tried to take in all the information he was presented with. He was now male. Regi was excited and terrified at the same time. The hormones driving his sexual desires were overwhelmingly powerful. "This must be why men think of sex so much," Regi thought. It was 9pm and Carl was getting ready for bed. He took off his suit and stood in front of Regi searching a pile of laundry in the corner for a pair of gym shorts to sleep in. Regi stared at him with a smirk on his face. Carl caught stares, but ignored them. "Go to bed. We can fix this thing tomorrow," Carl sleepily said. "Why do you go to bed at 9?" Regi asked. "We have to wake up tomorrow at 6am to prepare the church. Now quit keeping me up I want to get some sleep," Carl said. It was clear Regi was not going to get any privacy in his room. He grabbed a pair of boxers from his pile of laundry and stepped into the hallway. The bathroom on their end of the house was across from their room. Regi walked in and locked the door behind him. He put the lid to the toilet seat down and undressed. The mirror above the sink revealed a flat chest covered in hair. Regi was repulsed by the pubic hair growing all over his body. His armpits had so much hair it could be seen even when his arms were down. He turned around to see that he even had hair on his back and ass. He tested his voice some, unable to believe that his voice was so deep. He looked down at his erect penis. It was about 7" long. Not to bad for a white guy, he thought. He touched the penis and stroked his shaft. His sweaty hands caught on his skin and hurt. Regi needed something to lubricate his shaft. "What a pain in the ass," he thought. As a girl all you need is one finger and a dirty thought. He looked in the medicine cabinet and found a bottle of lotion. He generously applied lotion to his penis and began to stroke it. The act was messy and made horrible slurping sounds with each stoke. There was not much pleasure coming from the act either. He liked how it felt at the tip, but rubbing on it did not really push him to ejaculate. He started to stroke faster and harder, but the act was tiring and it did not feel right standing up. Regi tried lying down on the floor. It did not make a difference how he spread his legs or which hand he used, but then suddenly something started to build at the base of his penis. It was faint but each stroke seemed to make the feeling grow. Regi concentrated on the feeling, making it grow. Regi saw a small amount of cum escape his penis, but that was just the start. His penis started to pump on its own from the inside. The feeling was so localized. His scrotum started to pull in and he ejaculated. Sperm shot from his penis and fell back down on his stomach. Regi held his breath through each pump. It only lasted for about 4 seconds, but it was wonderful. Regi caught his breath and looked down at his penis already starting to go limp. The hormones that were so hard to control were now nonexistent. He a wash cloth and cleaned up the mess on his stomach. Regi felt unbelievably tired. "This must be why guys fall asleep after sex," Regi thought. He grabbed the clean boxers he brought with him and pulled them up. At first he pulled them up past his waist until the crotch of the boxers met his penis, but it was so uncomfortable. He lowered them around his waste and looked in the mirror. The image reflected was so foreign. Men were not unattractive, but they did not possess beauty. Regi liked the comfort of being a guy, but trading his sex appeal for it was not worth it. "I wonder if girls will find me attractive," Regi thought as he left the bathroom. Regi yawned as he crawled into bed. It was only 9:30pm. Felix woke up the next morning. The room was dark; except for light shining through the white and purple sheer curtains. All Felix could make out was the time on her alarm clock. It read 10:30am. How could it be so late already, she thought. Felix felt odd. She was naked and did not know why. She was hugging a pillow and was covered with a soft silky sheet and two blankets. Felix sat up. Her head pounded in protest. She fell back to the bed. "Was last night real," she wondered. Felix could not feel his penis between her legs. She moved her hand toward her crotch. She already knew the truth, but needed to feel it. Her fingers felt soft traveling up the smooth skin on her inner thighs. Her filed fingernails tickled her skin. Her hand graced the lips of her vagina. Felix's breathe quickened. She started to panic. "Oh, my!.......Oh, my! What is going on? Oh....Lord help me," Felix pleaded. The pain in her head was nothing compared to the shock of her discovery. Felix twisted in the bed unto her back. Her boobs settled to the side of her chest. She found a lamp beside her bed and turned it on. The sudden change in light made Felix's head pound worse. "Why am I paying for this girl's night of stupidity," Felix thought. She peered down at her naked body. Her nipples were so much larger than anything Felix was use to. "Is it right for me to even be looking at this girl's body," Felix thought. There was a mirror in the corner. She got out of bed using the sheet to cover her naked body and moved to the light switch. The room flooded with light revealing the room she was in. The room was much larger than anything she expected. A large vanity with 12 drawers beneath it took up a large portion of the east wall. Her bed, which was centered on the north wall, was a queen size with five pillows, two comforters, and some purple sheets with a tag on them that identified them as 1200 count Egyptian cotton. The closet was on the west end along with a door leading out of the room. Felix had no desire to step out of this room. The closet was a walk-in that was overflowing with dresses, skirts, blouses, and lingerie. The floor of the closet was impassible due the massive pile of mismatched shoes. "It would take a person 15 minutes to find a matching pair in this mess," Felix thought. The south end of the room had a desk with a pink dell laptop on it, and hundreds of pictures scattered about. There were several photo albums lined up and a full compliment of scrap booking supplies. The place was an absolute mess. There was a large poster above the desk which read "The Thunder from Down Under." It had six shirtless men on it and was signed, "To Regi, Thanks for best time we EVER had in Vegas." Felix's stomach turned. She felt dirty, like she needed a long shower. There was a full length mirror in the corner. Felix walked over and stood in front of it to see if "he" knew the girl she now was. The shock of changing into a girl was nothing to seeing Regi's face reflecting back. Felix was outraged. She was now in a body that had been with more men that anybody cared to count. One of the girls at the party made a comment about how a mile worth of dick had been run through her. Felix's anger manifested into tears and anguish she could not control. She cried. She dropped the sheet with little regard for Regina's privacy and decided a million other men have seen this body naked. Felix turned in the mirror revealing a butterfly tattoo right above his butt. "Great, I have a tramp stamp," she thought. Felix ran her feminine hands over her body. True acceptance of the situation was beyond her grasp at the moment. Every part of her body was soft and pampered. Her entire body was hairless except for her eyebrows and her long blonde hair. Felix could feel her hair tickle the middle of her back. The bulk of Felix's attention was on her vagina. She spread her legs and closed them marveling at how comfortable it was to have nothing there. Her vagina looked as Felix would have expected except for it being shaved. Felix could not bring herself to explore any further, but was still fascinated by her beauty. Her boobs did not really bother her. They shook a little with every move she made, but it felt natural somehow. Her areolas were very small and seemed to protrude with her nipples a little past the rest of her boobs. Felix had never stared at a girl's naked body before, so she did not know if this was how all girls' breasts looked. Felix reached up and touched her nipple. It was sensitive, but no overly so. She lifted her breasts up and dropped them to watch them bounce. They did so with a harsh tug on her chest. For the first time this morning, Felix began to hear girls talking in the rest of the house. She walked to the door and locked it for more privacy, and walked back to the mirror. Felix's body was pleasing on the eyes. She could not believe how perky her breasts were or how petite she was. Felix was tempted to find a scale and see how much she now weighted. She pulled her gaze away from the mirror to find some clothing. The floor was littered with dirty laundry. Beside the bed was the silk dress she was wearing the night before. "Funny, I do not remember how I got here, or ever getting undresses," she thought. Stepping over bra's, thongs, and various other articles of clothing Felix approached her vanity. The vanity had at least 15 different scented candles on top. Most of them have been burned halfway through. Even unlit they filled the room with a floral aroma. Felix did not mind. The scents seemed to permeate her and make her feel.......good. The first drawer Felix opened she shut immediately with a jump. Felix only saw the contents for a second, but she was sure she saw a box of condoms, some KY jelly, and a dildo. "Is this girl for real," Felix thought. The second drawer was full of socks. They were all shades of pink, purple, and white. The socks were as unorganized as the shoes. It took her three minutes to find a matching pair. The next small drawer was full of panties. They were stuffed in there and most were inside out. Felix picked through them. Most were thongs and g- strings. In the far back of the drawer was a pair of plain white bikini cut panties that had probably not been worn in a long time. Felix was relieved when she found them. She found a drawer full of shirts next. Most of Regi's shirts were extremely revealing. Regi gave up finding one that would cover both of her shoulders and settled on a halter top. It was the only one that looked long enough to cover her torso, but it looked to small in diameter to fit her. Felix added it to her pile of clothing. The next two drawers Felix looked through contained nothing she would wear. One drawer contained spandex and leotards; while the other contained swimwear (more like 3" strips of cloth with strings). Finally, Felix found a drawer full of shorts. They were all pretty much identical......very short. Felix gave up and just grabbed a pair. On the corner of the vanity was a shower caddie with all of Regi's personal hygiene products. Felix put on a bathrobe that was hanging on the closet door. She decided to leave her clothing on her bed, and grabbed her towel hanging on a hook by the door. She grabbed her shower caddie and walked into the hallway. At the end of the hall, a door stood open where two girls were standing in their bra and panties fixing their hair in a mirror. The shower, which was obscured in the corner, was running behind them. Felix could not process what she was seeing. These girls are sharing the bathroom. "Hey Regi, you are awake. You had me worried last night. You were acting so scared. What did those guys try to do to you?" Sandy asked. Felix did not respond to the name of the body she possessed. "Regi....Hello, earth to Regi," Sandy said again. Felix suddenly realized she was being talked to. "Sandy...right? We need to talk, but I need to get a shower first," Felix softly replied. Sandy stared at Felix with bewilderment as Felix rigidly walked toward the bathroom full of half dressed girls. The girls in the bathroom chatted with each other like they were sitting on a park bench. They discussed clothing and pop culture. As Felix stepped into the bathroom a girl stepped out of the three stall shower wrapped in a towel barely long enough to cover her crotch and boobs. Felix was so nervous and could not understand her feelings. If she was still in a guy's body he would possess a raging boner. The girl who stepped out of the shower blushed when she noticed Felix was staring at her. Felix looked at the floor so that all she could see were the girl's painted toe nails. Consequently she noticed her own dainty manicured toes. Sandy placed her robe and towel on a hook by the shower and stepped in. Felix's insides jumped when he saw another girl shaving her legs in the corner. "The water on the right is warm. Go ahead and use it I am just finishing up. Just let me rinse when I am done shaving," the girl said. "Ok," Felix meekly replied. Felix stepped into the water and let the warm water flow over her body. She was shaking with fear. As if at any moment the girls were going to realize she was an imposter, but nothing happened. Felix watched the girl shave out of the corner of her eye. She studied the girl's techniques for shaving. Felix took out a luffa and lathered it with fruity smelling soap. Felix began washing her body with great interest. "Can you move aside a second?" the girl asked. Felix jumped back. The girl was inches from her, which was too far into her personal space. "Are all girls like this," Felix thought. The girl finished rinsing and walked out. Felix was mesmerized by it all. The girl toweled off and left Felix alone. Felix had completely fooled that girl into thinking she was with another woman, or Felix herself was a fool. She did not really know which. Felix washed her body with the luffa, and used the lather created to shave her legs and pits. The process was going fine till she reached her vagina. The pubic hairs around that region had grown her skin felt prickly. With distain she lathered around her vagina and shaved. The blade felt harsh shaving against the grain, and small irritation bumps formed around her vagina. Felix rummaged through the caddie looking for the shampoo and conditioner. What she found was far different. A small bottle of "Summer's Eve" douche made Felix cringe. He knew that some girls felt it necessary to clean down their, but did she really need to? It wasn't like Felix had anyone to ask. She took the bottle and inserted the rubber tip. It felt incredibly inappropriate. As a guy, things are no inserted into you. She squeezed the bottles contents inside herself and then, after filling the bottle with clean water, repeated the process to rinse. She had no idea what she was doing. Felix heard more girls enter the bathroom. In a panic she hid the douche back in the caddie and began rinsing her hair. Two more girls entered the shower with her. The shower had three heads, but was not nearly big enough for everyone to wash without bumping into each other. The naked girls began washing. Felix was overwhelmed. Her hormones were screaming for satisfaction. She wanted to have bone these girls, but not longer possessed the necessary tools for the job. She washed her hair and got out as fast as she could. She put on her robe and rushed into her room locking the door behind her. "Ok, now will you tell me what is going on?" Sandy asked. Felix yelped as she spun around. She thought she was alone, but Sandy was waiting for her seated on her bed. "Please help me," Felix said as she trembled. "Regi, calm down. What is going on? You are not acting like yourself at all," Sandy replied. "I AM NOT REGI! I AM FELIX," Felix exclaimed. Sandy froze for a minute and did not know what to say. Felix paced back and forth ringing her hands together with tears streaming down her face. Sandy took pity on the wreck of girl in front of her. Sandy stood up and hugged Felix stopping her pacing. "Calm down and tell me what you mean exactly," Sandy said. Felix recounted the events at the bar comforted by the hug. Sandy's mouth hung open in disbelief. Everything made sense now, except for the body swap. "First off I am so sorry. Carl and I did not want this. We went to see a witch last night to teach you two a lesson for the way you were acting, and she said she would help. We had no idea this was what she meant," Sandy explained. This time it was Felix who stood there with her mouth hanging open. Felix did not believe in witchcraft, but her opinion could certainly be swayed now. "What do I do now," Felix thought. "We need to go see Carl and my body. We need verify that Regina is in my body," Felix said. Sandy agreed and saw a change in Felix. Having a purpose really seemed to make a difference, but Felix was really wound up. She tried to leave to see Carl still dressed in her bathrobe. "Why don't you get dressed first, and then we can leave. Out of curiosity what do you plan on wearing? I saw some clothes on the bed hear, but you don't seem to have a bra," Sandy inquired. "I really don't know what I am doing," Felix said as she walked to the vanity. Felix found the drawer full of bra and picked out a plain white one, and threw it to Sandy. "This will not do at all. Do you know how trashy it looks to wear a halter top and have your bra straps showing? You either need a strapless bra or one that will convert to a match your halter top. Just get started and I will find one that works," Sandy said as she threw the bra back. "Aren't you going to leave the room while I get dressed," Felix nervously said. "Why would I do that? You have nothing I haven't seen before. Who do you think undressed you last night? Besides if I want to see a pair of breasts and a vagina I will just get naked and stand in front of a mirror," Sandy said with an air of cynicism. Felix was bewildered at how women acted. It was entirely inappropriate for a guy to ever be naked in front of another guy, but the girls in this house did not seem to mind at all. Once Sandy had turned her back to rummage through the drawer full of bras, Felix took off her robe and approached the bed. Felix felt her wet hair on her back. It was entirely uncomfortable and chilled her. Her body was incredibly sensitive to being cold and goosebumps spread down her arms and legs. She grabbed the plain panties off the bed and pulled the up her legs. The elastic bands that hugged her legs slid up till they were positioned on both sides of her vagina. The soft inner fabric felt nice against her crotch. The waste band hugged tightly, but the fabric covering her butt, was a little narrower than she would have liked. Felix grabbed the shorts next. The length of the shorts barely extended past her crotch. She still felt naked, and fastening them was a pain. The shorts were tight, but because they were so small they did not restrict her movement. Looking for her socks, Felix noticed Sandy had taken them with her to the vanity. "I am dressed as far as I can go," Felix said with a hand on her hip and her boobs bouncing. "Try this one then," Sandy said throwing her a light pink strapless bra. Felix did not know what to do. Would something like this even work? Felix positioned her boobs in each cup and tried to fasten the clasp in the back. After a couple of tries she slid the bra around her impossibly small waste. She clasped it in the front, rotated it to the back, and slid it up. Once her boobs were positioned in each cup she lifted her bra up as high as it could go and then gently let the bra support her breasts. It held them well enough. Felix tried to ignore the elastic fabric hugging her chest, but the clasp in the back felt like a knot that put pressure on her spine. She pulled her halter top over her wet hair and settled her shirt over her boobs. Her C cup breasts looked impressively larger in the low cut halter top. Felix was upset with the amount of cleavage she was showing. "You look good. Much more proper than anything Regi would have normally worn, but good. We need to do something about your hair though," Sandy said. For the next 10 minutes Sandy dried, brushed, curled, and styled Felix's hair. The process painful at times and tedious, but Felix put up with it. Sandy finished and grabbed some foundation from the vanity. Felix pulled back when she tried to apply it. "I am not wearing makeup, and where did you put my sock. My feet are cold," Felix complained. "You have to. If Regi is in your body and she sees you parading around in public without makeup she will have a fit. Just let me put it on so we can avoid a confrontation. You won't be wearing socks, it is too warm outside. We will grab a pair of sandals on our way out," Sandy said. Felix gave in and let Sandy doll up her face. She really did not care what kind of shoes she wore as long as they were comfortable. Sandy finished her makeup pretty quickly, and Felix walked over to the full body mirror while Sandy looked for a matching pair of sandals. The girl in the mirror looked perfect. Her skin was tone and tan. It almost seemed to glow. Felix took a couple of deep breathes watching her boobs rise and fall with each one. Felix noticed something protruding from her naval and pulled up her shirt. For the first time she noticed her belly button was pierced and had a bar through it with a jeweled butterfly hanging from it. Felix pulled her shirt back down and sighed. Her ears were pierced too, and had some rather large diamond studs in each one. She decided they were overkill and went to the vanity to find something more sensible. Sandy came back with some basic flip-flops. They were black and complemented the green halter top and jean shorts. Sandy saw what Felix was doing and grabbed some large hoop earring from Regi's jewelry box. "Here these will look good with your style," Sandy said while helping Felix take out her diamond studs. Felix decided not to complain and let Sandy fasten them up. They were heavy and pulled on her ears. They rested against her neck and it was uncomfortable to move her head from side to side. Felix decided that girls did not mind making themselves uncomfortable for the sake of looking good. A glance up into the vanity however did show that Sandy knew what she was doing. Her hair was parted to each side and what Felix had mistaken for a curling iron was actually a hair straightener. Her hair lay perfectly flat against her head and it looked good. Felix tucked her hair behind each ear to keep it from blocking her vision, and placed her manicured and painted toes into the thong sandals. Sandy took Regi's IPhone off the desk and after getting Carl's cell phone number, called. Felix did not really know the whole conversation. All she could hear was Sandy's side. The whole thing sounded a little heated. Apparently, Regi was enjoying himself just fine and had no desire to see Felix. Carl got Regi to agree to meet up for dinner at the Tri-Delta house, and passed on some words to Sandy. Sandy hung up and handed the phone to Felix. She tried to fit the phone into her impossibly small pockets. With some effort the phone was placed in enough that it would not fall out. "Well I guess we are just going to have to wait. In the mean time Regi wants you to keep her appointments. She said I could go with you to the spa too. You have your standard appointments. Your spa appointment is at 4pm where you are going to get the full treatment, but before we go there we have yoga and spinning at 1pm. Felix did not know what to say. Sandy and Felix left Regi's room and went down to the common area. There was a large flat screen television, and some various pieced of furniture around it. The place was maintained by a housekeeping staff, so it was much cleaner than Regi's room. "Nickelback's song, something in your mouth," played from Regi's phone. Without knowing what else to do Felix answered the phone. "Hey baby, the guys and I are going out to the beach and we wondered if you would model that pink bikini for us again. You are so hot and I just want to eat you up if you catch my drift," an anonymous guy said. Felix hung up the phone in disgust. The phone rang three more times, but Felix did not answer. On the last call the guy left a message, which when Felix played it back told her that she was a cold bitch. Felix was completely overwhelmed. Sandy was acting weird around Felix, and with a little coaxing Sandy got Felix to explain how different she felt. "It feels wrong. My entire body feels weaker, but all of my movement seems smoother. The boobs and bra are uncomfortable and feel foreign till I touch them. The feeling of having a vagina to having a penis is hard to explain," Felix explained feeling something she had not expected. Felix's bladder was very full. She did not know what muscles worked that part of her body, and until she started to think about how it felt she had been subconsciously ignoring it. Felix excused herself and went to the single bathroom on the main floor. Shutting and locking the door behind her she pulled down her shorts and panties and sat down. Felix tried to push the pee out like she did as a guy, but nothing happened. The pain from a full bladder was becoming unbearable. "How could I have been ignoring this," Felix thought. Sandy stood by the door waiting. "Sandy, are you there? I need some help," Felix said. "Yes, I am here. What do you need?" Sandy asked. "I don't know how to pee," Felix replied. Sandy stood there for a moment. How do you explain to someone how to pee? The situation was humorous to her, but could become serious if Felix could not figure it out. An idea suddenly popped into her head. It was a good thing the other sorority girls were either up stairs or out, because what Sandy was about to say would be construed as inappropriate conversation by a third party. "Ummm, I don't know how to be PC while I explain this so I am not going to try. I want you to put your finger inside you and push on your bladder. When I was in high school I let a guy try to get me off by putting his fingers in me. He did not know what he was doing and he pushed on my bladder while he was feeling around. I almost peed on him. I think this will work," Sandy reassuringly said. Felix was mortified. She needed to place something inside her again. The douche bottle felt terrible inside of her. Resentfully Felix placed her index finger inside. Felix felt around the bottom of her vagina where opening was the largest. She could not find anything that seemed to create the feeling of having to pee. She did however find a ridge deeper inside her, when she made the come here motion with her finger, that when rubbed felt wonderful. "I don't know what I am doing. I cannot find anything that works," Felix admitted. "It is above your vaginal opening, but below your clitoris. Just move your finger toward the top of your vagina till you find your clitoris. You will know when you found that. Then move south and press firmly. If you cannot find it like that I will help, but you better not pee on me," Sandy said. Felix did as instructed. Her vagina was very wet now from all of the exploration. Felix moved her finger to the top and felt around for her clitoris. She found an extremely sensitive bump at the top of her vagina, and pressed firmly thinking that was what Sandy meant. An overwhelming feeling of sexual tension flowed through her body. Felix moved her finger southward. The friction and firm pressure sent Felix over the top. Her vaginal muscles involuntarily contracted and the tension released itself with a wave of pleasure. Felix moaned out loud unable to control herself. "I see you found your clitoris," Sandy teased. Felix was embarrassed, but did not mean to do that. She kept putting pressure on her vagina and suddenly found her bladder. She instantly felt the muscles for release and did so. The relief from urinating felt almost as good as her orgasm did. Sandy heard the splash of urine and walked back to the couch. Felix noticed that along with the urine her body had secreted a slippery solution from her vaginal opening. Felix was once again unable to contain herself. She felt sick to her stomach, but had nothing in her stomach to throw-up. She took some toilet paper from the dispenser and dried her vagina. She flushed, dressed, and washed her hands. With each step away from the bathroom Felix could feel wetness between the folds of her vagina. She wanted to hate herself for it, but it felt so incredibly good. "So how was it?" Sandy asked. "Peeing?" Felix mockingly asked. "You know what I mean. How did it compare with....you know?" Sandy asked. Felix felt embarrassed. How could she just go off like that? No wonder Regi loved sex so much. Her body was built for it. Felix had read that only 15% of girls get to regularly experience an orgasm. Regi must have been in that category. All a guy would have to do is touch her down there and she would be off. Sandy was still waiting for an answer. "It was very different. As a guy it sort of starts at our prostate and then pressure builds up from our scrotum. The experience is very localized, but as a girl I felt it come from my vaginal walls and clitoris; then pressure built from just inside my vagina. I also felt pleasure from my nipples too. It was all a little overwhelming. My clitoris at the top was extremely sensitive, and it felt so good. The hardest thing to explain is how my clitoris and vaginal lips seemed to swell and my insides felt like they were moving," Felix explained. Sandy laughed. Felix was definitely becoming more comfortable with her body. Felix stopped talking from embarrassment, but Sandy begged her to continue. "When I came as a guy my penis would pump, while my hormones would drive me to aggression. I would ejaculate and the feeling would end promptly. What I just experienced now was totally different. The feeling did not stop. It built off of itself, and seemed to spread through me. I will give Regi some credit, if I was born with the ability to feel sex like this, I might be tempted to have sex before marriage too," Felix replied. Sandy laughed. The idea of Regi being proper and lady like was ridiculous. Even with Felix in Regi's body, the words did not sound natural coming from her mouth. Regi was the poster child for those who had sex before marriage. Sandy quit pestering Felix for details, and asked Felix if she would pay for lunch at Panera Bread, which was just down the street. Sandy explained that Regi had a rich father and she would not even notice if they spent a little money. Felix agreed and went back to her room to grab her Prada purse. She put her cell phone in there and enjoyed not having it poking her in the side. Felix understood the need for a purse considering how small women's pockets were. The two set off to get some lunch. Meanwhile back at the church, Regi was dealing with religion and his new status. Waking up at 6am sucked, but Regi managed. His new body was use to it. One of the church members had made some homemade donuts and dropped them off for them. Regi ate with the other guys in silence. The others in the house did not pay much attention to him; actually they seemed to avoid conversation with him. "Felix must really be a jerk," Regi thought. Cleaning the church was straight forward. Regi was given a vacuum cleaner and by the time her finished between all the pews the other guys were finished. The windows were clean, the offering plates and the cross on the altar were polished, communion was set out, and the hymn numbers for the day were posted. It was all done remarkably well, but Regi once again noticed that he was given a chore that would not allow him socialize with anyone else. Nobody but Carl would give him the time of day. "Why are all the guys so cold to me?" Regi asked Carl who just finished cleaning the last window. "Because you are a self absorbed jerk. Well not you, but Fe