Operation Rescue - The New Co-Ed; Chapter 9 free porn video

Operation Rescue: The New Co-Ed Chapter 9 - Coping with More Changes A young man gets in trouble and loses his scholarship. It looks like his dream of college to escape a poor future is doomed - until he sees an ad recruiting 'surrogates'. Tommi's pregnancy is progressing, and so is the semester. Tommi has new issues to deal with. [email protected] ********************************************************************** The constant stream of students in the student union building, some milling about, others conversing in small groups, still others weaving hastily through the crowds to other destinations, was a distraction that Tommi didn't need. Nor did she need the feeling that many of the students were staring at her. The background din of hundreds of people convinced Tommi that some were whispering about her. Tommi had hated public places ever since her original surgery. Being forced to wait in the most public, highest-traffic place on campus was driving her to the point of paranoia. Tommi sat nervously at a table in one of the dining areas, glancing frequently at her watch between quick peeks around the throng of students. She wondered if this was a fool's errand - she was supposed to meet a "mentor" from the surrogacy program, someone that Rachel thought would help her cope with life. Tommi had two problems with that - first, she wasn't sure she wanted to share her difficulties and issues with another person, especially someone she didn't even know, and second, she had no idea who the mentor was, or what she looked like. Tommi took another sip from her coffee cup and stared at the table. She was certain that the new mentor wasn't going to show up. She checked her watch, and decided that she'd give the mentor five more minutes. "Excuse me," a voice sounded to Tommi's right. "Are you Tommi Sue Wilson?" Tommi was startled; she'd been so focused on herself and on watching the main entrance that she had obviously missed seeing the person approaching from inside the dining area. She looked up at the interloper. "Yes," she said hesitantly. The girl beamed as she slid into a chair opposite Tommi. "Hi," she said as she extended her hand. "I'm Julie. Julie Davis. Rachel McKnight sent me." "Hi. I ..." Tommi stopped abruptly. She realized that she didn't need to make an introduction; the new girl already knew who she was. "Hi," she repeated. "Ms. McKnight did a good job describing you," Julie said in a cheery voice. "I didn't have any trouble recognizing you." "So you're my ..." Julie grinned. "Your mentor. If you want to call me that." "Oh?" "Yeah. I'm supposed to give you advice and help you cope and all that. But when I first started, mostly, I needed someone I could talk to. So if that's what you want, I can do that, too." Julie seemed quite at ease with the whole situation, which was itself unnerving to Tommi. Tommi eyed the new girl carefully. She was rather plain - her blonde hair was cut short, and she wasn't wearing any makeup or jewelry. She wore a simple pullover sweater atop a plain white blouse - an obvious maternity blouse bulging prominently at the waist. Tommi couldn't see the bottom of Julie's ensemble, but strongly suspected it was quite plain as well. Julie was moderately tall, not slender, and not overly curvy - except for the roundness in her belly. Julie noticed Tommi gazing at her rounded belly. "Yes," she said with a big smile, "I'm quite pregnant. Almost eight months." She seemed quite pleased to share the news of impending motherhood. Tommi's eyes widened. "How is it? Being pregnant, I mean. Are you ... scared?" Julie laughed, a soft pleasant sound. "Not this time." Julie noted that Tommi's eyes widened. "This isn't my first go-round. Or my second." Tommi's eyes nearly bulged from their sockets. "Third?" "Yup." "Why?" Julie smiled and shrugged. "It's kind of an ultimate act of service," she said, "and it pays well. It's how I've funded my college so far." "So far? Are you a senior, then?" Julie laughed. "No, I'm just a junior." "Oh. Are you going to do it again next year, then?" Tommi was genuinely curious of Julie's motivations. Julie shook her head. "No. Three is enough." "Then what?" Julie smiled. "I'll have saved enough for my senior year, and then some. This summer, after I have the baby, I'll change back." Tommi's eyes widened. "You're..." Julie simply nodded. "Before I got to college, I was John Davis. I had the surgery - like you did." Tommi was thoroughly confused. "Why did _you_ do it? Volunteer, I mean." Julie shrugged. "A few reasons, I guess. I grew up in a very devout family, and I always believed that abortion was one of the greatest sins. So when I had a chance to do something about it, it seemed natural." "Oh." Julie smiled. "And I needed to pay for college, and I _didn't_ want to graduate with tens of thousands of dollars of student loans hanging over my head." Tommi took another sip of coffee, at which Julie frowned. Seeing the disapproval, Tommi quickly said, "It's decaf." She _knew_ that her mentor was going to report to Rachel, and she felt a need to prove that she was complying with the guidelines. "Oh, okay." "Can I ask you something?" Julie nodded. "That's what I'm here for." "How do you cope? I mean, with family and friends." A tiny, brief hint of sadness flickered across Julie's features. "Mom is okay with what I'm doing. In fact, she kind of likes it; she had four sons and no daughters. So it's kind of a fantasy for her to have a daughter, even temporarily. My brothers - well, two are okay with it, but the third is like my dad." "I take it your dad doesn't approve?" Tommi asked hesitantly. Julie shook her head. "Not really. I mean, he understands why I'm doing it, but he isn't happy with it. He says it's unmanly." She was studying Tommi's reactions closely. "How about _your_ family? Are they accepting you?" Tommi's eyes betrayed her pain. She dropped her gaze into her coffee cup. "No," she admitted, her voice tinged with sadness. "Ma and my older sister hate me. My hometown is so redneck that I can never go back if they ever find out about this." Julie put her hand on Tommi's, a very feminine gesture of support and sympathy. "I'm sorry," she said simply. "I know it's hard. How about your dad? I take it he's like the others." "Dad ..." Tommi's voice choked as the corners of her eyes moistened, "Dad died in the mine several years ago." Julie's hand clasped Tommi's hands more tightly. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to bring up something that's painful to you." Tommi dabbed at the tears. "You didn't know," she said, trying to put Julie's conscience at ease. "After all these years, you'd think that I would have accepted it." The two sat in awkward silence for a few moments. Julie seemed afraid to bring up any subjects, lest she inadvertently cause Tommi pain, and Tommi struggled to regain her composure. Tommi decided to direct the conversation. "How about your pregnancies? How were those?" Tommi's voice was nervous, since she was just starting her own. Julie winced, then rubbed her belly. "Sorry. The baby decided to do a somersault." She smiled. "I haven't had many problems. Just the usual stuff, you know - morning sickness, swollen ankles. But the childbirth? My first one was long and not fun - probably twenty-five hours in labor." She saw the worried look on Tommi's face. "You shouldn't worry. I was an unusual case. They almost didn't let me do a second, and then, when it came time to deliver, they wanted to do a C-section." Julie smiled. "I always was stubborn, and I told Ms. McKnight that I'd get through it on my own - which I did." "Okay." Tommi was being deliberately vague with her questions. Even after months with the clinic, she _still_ felt uneasy about her situation. "How about other things? Other experiences while you were pregnant? Or between pregnancies?" Julie smiled slyly. "I think I know where you're going. But that's kind of personal." "But..." "It's personal for me, and it'll be personal for you. If you _do_ decide to ... um, experiment ... make sure you take precautions. Or you'll end up with one of your own." Julie's enigmatic smile broadened. "I've heard that pregnant women are ...," Tommi winced, not knowing precisely how to word the statement, "kind of easily ... aroused." Julie blushed, which sort of confirmed Tommi's fear. "That varies, too." "And in your case?" Julie shook her head. "Personal again." "Say it _does_ happen to me. And I get quite ... horny. How am I supposed to deal with that?" Tommi shook her head. "Rachel hasn't given me any hints about that." Julie smiled, shrugging. "You have 3 choices. First, you can try to ignore it. Go for the celibate life. Second, you can masturbate. Third, you can go for sex." Tommi's eyes widened with fear. "Sex? Like in ..." Julie shrugged. "Doesn't have to be with a guy. I'm told that lesbian sex is just as satisfying, and _my_ mentor told me it was a lot easier to deal with psychologically." "But ..." Tommi shook her head. "Thinking about having sex - any kind of sex - while I'm like this makes me nervous as hell." Julie just smiled. "You're holding back - a lot." She saw Tommi start to deny it, but cut her off. "You delayed our meeting for a long time - far longer than you should have. Just like I did when I first met _my_ mentor." The smile broadened. "I promise I'm not a spy for Ms. McKnight. My only job is to help you in any way I can. Please try to remember that." ********** "Coming through," Tommi said with urgency as she barged through the bathroom door. It took but a moment to see a vacant stall, and she darted in, not bothering to close the door as she leaned forward over the bowl and commenced heaving the contents of her stomach. Since she hadn't eaten since the night before, there wasn't much, and she was wracked by dry heaves for a few minutes. "Oh, great!" Shelly's voice carried with a tone of pure disgust. "It's not bad enough that you're _here_, like you are, but _now_ you're puking in the bathroom every morning! Gross!" Tommi's stomach was settling down a bit, and she felt that the vomiting bout was over. "Someday, Shelly, you're probably going to be pregnant. And when you are..." She broke off the thought. "You hope I get morning sickness really bad, don't you?" Shelly finished contemptuously. Tommi shook her head, a gesture unseen by Shelly. "No," she replied simply. "As much of a pain in the ass as you are, as much of a self- righteous bitch as you can be, I hope that when you get pregnant, you _don't_ get morning sickness like this." Shelly's mouth dropped open in shock. "But ..." she stammered, obviously taken by surprise that Tommi would call her what she had, and that Tommi had actually wished her _well_. "As much as I dislike you," Tommi continued as she stood up, "I don't dislike you enough to wish this on you." She walked unsteadily to the sink, where she cupped her hands to drink some water to rinse the foul taste from her mouth. After that, she rinsed off her face, dried it, then left the bathroom. Shelly stood near the stall, still in shock. In her room, Tommi eased herself into her chair. "I wish I didn't have to deal with _that_ every morning," she sighed. "You and me both," Katie agreed as she pulled on a sweater. "Is it getting any better?" Tommi nodded. "Yeah, it's not quite so bad." She opened a desk drawer and pulled out a half-eaten packet of crackers. "Dr. Tina says that most morning sickness is in the first trimester, but sometimes it can last throughout a pregnancy." She sighed. "Dr. Tina said I could take phenergan for the nausea, but that stuff really knocks me out." "Maybe it's worse in you because you started life as a guy?" Tommi sighed. "That's what some of the experts at the foundation think. They say that I'm not used to estrogen, let alone the surge that comes with pregnancy, and that's what's upsetting my system." She took a small, exploratory bite of a cracker to see if it would stay down. "Well, at least it's getting better. You haven't missed early classes for a week now." "Knock on wood," Tommi added. "I bumped into Shelly in the bathroom again." "Oh? Was she her usual bitchy self?" Tommi nodded. "Yup. I wish I knew why she's so pissy toward me." Katie smiled. "She's a bitch to everyone, not just you. It's nothing personal." "Between her, the Betas, and Brian, I'm almost at my limit." Tommi finished the first cracker and took a sip of water. "Oh? Are the Betas still being nasty?" "Especially Olivia. She's a real bitch!" Tommi replied angrily. "For a while, they were leaving me alone, but now they're getting bad again." "They're just a bunch of stuck-up snobs. Try to not let them bother you." "Easier said than done," Tommi snorted as she took another cracker from the package. "So what's with Brian?" Tommi sighed. "I wish he'd leave me alone," she complained. "He's always wanting to walk me to or from class, and he always wants to talk." She felt a chill run down her spine. "He's freaking me out." A knock sounded on the door. Katie opened it, and let Ashley in. "Ready?" Ashley asked Tommi. Ashley was ready to go to class; she had her jacket on and her book bag over her shoulder. Tommi grabbed one more cracker, then twist-tied the remainder of the package and shoved it back in the drawer. "Just about." Tommi stood, took her jacket from the back of the chair, and slipped it on. Her incision had healed, Dr. Tina had approved of how well the placenta was attached, so Tommi's restrictions on carry. She just slung her book bag over her shoulder. Tommi grabbed a bottle of water and slid it into her book bag, and nodded as she picked up her cracker. "Ready." At the door, she turned to Katie. "I've got another checkup at the clinic this afternoon, so I probably won't be back until around five." "Okay," Katie answered without looking as she picked up her own book bag. The hallway was busy as girls hurried to get to their first classes. "Hey, Mel," Tommi called cheerfully. "How's it going?" Melody turned and smiled. "Good. And you?" Tommi shrugged. "So, so. We doing the pizza thing tonight?" Mel grinned. "Yup. And I've got a good movie picked out." Tommi smiled. "I bet there's no action or shooting or blood," she quipped. Mel shook her head. "Nope. What you keep calling a "chick flick". And it fits, since you're one of the girls." "Hey, Tommi, Ashley." It was Erica's voice. "Morning," Ashley said with a quick glance at Erica. "Going to work out at the gym, I take it?" "Yup," Erica answered with a smile. "Hey, why don't you guys join me tomorrow morning? You don't have early classes on Tuesdays." Tommi smiled. "Three reasons. First, when I can sleep in, I like to sleep in. Second, I have to do my workouts at the clinic so they can monitor me." Erica frowned. "That's two. What's the third?" "I don't think the gym staff would be happy if I barfed on the elliptical machine," Tommi said with a wry smile. She and Ashley continued their journey out of the dorm. As they walked through the crisp morning air, their breaths visible puffs of steam, Ashely asked, "How is it going today?" Tommi laughed to herself. There was something about Ashley, a na?ve innocence, that made her questions tolerable where others were annoying. "My morning sickness isn't as bad." "That's good." Ashley seemed a bit pensive. Finally, she mustered up the courage to ask what was on her mind. "Do you think," she began hesitantly, "that I could come to the clinic with you and get to listen to the baby's heartbeat, too?" Tommi smiled; she wasn't surprised. Ashley was the most curious of the girls, and in a refreshing way. "We can ask." Ashley was thrilled by the prospect. "That would be _wonderful_." "Why are you so interested?" Tommi asked the question that had been nagging her for a few weeks. Ashley looked down at the sidewalk. "Someday, I want to be a mother. If I can ever find a guy who likes me," she added softly. "You can always be a mother," Tommi rebutted. "You could always do what I'm doing." "But ... I want children of my own. I don't want to be a single mother, like my mom, or a temporary mother." She realized belatedly what she'd said, and looked up at Tommi, her eyes wide with fear that she'd said offended Tommi. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." Tommi gave Ashley a reassuring smile. "No offense taken." Ashley looked down again. "It's just that ... I'll never find a guy who's interested in me," she said sadly. "I'm not very pretty." She shook her head. "I'm kind of jealous of you, you know." "Oh? Why?" Ashley looked at her for a moment, then resumed staring at the sidewalk. "You're _pretty_. Not like me. And you're better ... equipped ... to attract boys' attention." Tommi sighed. "You know, as a former guy, I can tell you that most guys think there are two kinds of girls. The first is the drop-deal knockout, the busty sex-kitten that guys want to take out for a temporary good time. The second is the kind of wholesome innocence that they want to have as a constant companion, friend, lover, and mother to their children." Ashley looked up sharply at Tommi, her eyes wide with uncertainty for a moment. "You're just saying that. I've never met any boys like that." Tommi shook her head. "You're too shy. Most guys like a girl who's self-confident. And what I said doesn't apply to all guys. Some guys never grow up, and always think with their penis. All they want is to bed a pretty girl that they can brag to their friends about it." She sighed, realizing that perhaps, she'd been like that before the surgery. "But the ones who are worth catching are the ones who see inner beauty and charm. _Those_ guys want someone warm and witty and charming and _smart_ and friendly." She smiled. "All the things you have going for you." Ashley shook her head. "Why can't I find any of them? I don't get any notice from _any_ boys!" she complained. "You will," Tommi assured her. "Someday, you'll find a guy who appreciates you for who you are, and will treat you like a princess." "I hope so," Ashley replied. "I've only had two dates in my whole life. And both were disasters." The two girls reached an intersection in the sidewalks. "See you around three?" Tommi suggested. Ashley nodded, and the two girls parted company, each going to her class. "Good morning, Tommi," Brian said cheerfully, mere seconds after Ashley had gone her separate way. Tommi groaned inwardly. "Morning," she said without enthusiasm. Brian's features clouded. "You doing okay this morning?" Tommi sighed as she continued toward her history class. "Not really. I had another bout of morning sickness." Brian's eyes widened. "Morning sickness? But that means ..." He sounded greatly disappointed. Tommi realized that she'd never explained her procedure to the boy. For a brief moment, she considered not telling him; from his disappointment, he clearly considered Tommi as a "good girl". Her being pregnant could shatter his illusions and cause him to leave her alone. But Tommi's conscience wouldn't permit her to do such a thing. "The short version is that I'm a surrogate mother in the Morris Foundation's program to foster adoption instead of abortion. I'm carrying a baby that would have been aborted." Brian looked relieved. "So it's not really yours?" Tommi sighed to herself. Maybe she should have let Brian think ill of her. "No. As a volunteer, I'm getting paid to help prevent an abortion. That's how I'm paying for college." ********** "Go!" Katie said firmly. "But ..." "But nothing," Katie interrupted Tommi's objection. "I've got a project due, and I need to stay so I can keep monitoring the tests. But Mom wants you to come for a visit." Tommi shook her head. "It's not ... right. It's your family, and I don't feel comfortable going without you." "Both Mom and Dad want you to have a relaxing Spring Break, and they both insist that you visit. Mom even said she's got your room ready for you." Tommi winced. While it was nice to be treated as if she were part of Katie's family, spending some time at the Snyder's home without Katie, and having the spare bedroom called "her" room seemed wrong. "Okay, I'll think about it." Katie smiled. "You know Mom isn't going to take "no" for an answer." Tommi sighed. "I know. Your Mom can be quite ... insistent." Before Katie could acknowledge Tommi's observation, the door burst open, and four girls came in. "So have you decided?" Erica asked enthusiastically. "It'll be great!" Christina added. Katie's brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?" she asked warily. "Road trip to Ft. Lauderdale," Linda replied with a grin. "It's going to be a _great_ trip." Katie glanced at Tommi. "This is the first I've heard of _this_ trip. I thought you were going to my folks' place." Tommi shrugged, her features displaying her uncertainty. "I haven't decided _where_ I'm going." "It'll be a lot of fun. Sun, beaches, parties. What more could you ask for?" Ashley chimed in. "We're going shopping for new bikinis," Christina added. Tommi shook her head, frowning. "I'm not wearing a bikini," she said firmly. "It's not like I've got the figure for it, either." She rubbed her belly without being conscious of the action. Erica looked surprised for a moment. "Nonsense! You've got a great figure, and you're _not_ showing yet! Much." "Yeah," Linda agreed. "The diet you're on is keeping you looking good." "Besides," Erica added, "you've got a better figure than some of the girls I've seen wearing thongs!" Linda laughed. "I'm sorry, but I'm trying to picture you in a thong, and it's not working!" The others guffawed at the mental image of self- conscious Tommi in a thong. "I got invited to Katie's place for the break," Tommi replied. "I haven't made up my mind yet. I'm worried that my car might not survive another long trip like that." Ashley offered a solution. "How about this - you ride down with us in my car, spend a few days at Ft. Lauderdale, then spend the rest of the time with Katie's folks, and we'll pick you up on the way home?" Katie realized that the girls weren't going to take "no" for an answer from Tommi, and her mom wasn't going to allow Tommi to not visit. "Sounds like a reasonable compromise." "But..." Tommi began, feeling like she was being railroaded into a vacation that she wasn't sure she wanted to take. "Rachel said it was okay to visit my folks," Katie reminded Tommi. "And if you follow the rules about partying, you should be okay for a few days on the beach." "But..." "Go!" Katie roared. "Get out of here! Have some fun!" ********** "What _didn't_ you like about the trip?" Julie was curious about Tommi's reaction to the Spring Break trip. She sat across from Tommi at a corner table, in a small eatery just off campus. She'd chosen the location for a bit more privacy. Tommi shook her head. "Just about everything! My friends had a great time at Ft. Lauderdale, but I was miserable!" "Oh? I always loved going to Florida for vacation." Julie was genuinely surprised. "The _first_ thing we did when we got there was going shopping for bikinis." Tommi sighed. "I really don't like shopping for clothes, especially things that are feminine!" She wrinkled her nose. "They were so revealing! I felt ... naked." Julie laughed. "I always liked starting Spring Break with a new bikini. It's kind of normal." "Normal? Didn't you feel ... weird when _you_ got your first bikini?" Tommi was flabbergasted at Julie's attitude that buying a bikini was normal. Julie shrugged. "I suppose I had some trouble the first time," she admitted. "But I just got used to it." Tommi shook her head again. "Plus, I put on a bit of weight from my pregnancy, and my ... breasts ... are bigger. I felt like I was putting my body on display." Julie smiled. "You'll have to talk to Rachel or Tina about how much your breasts are growing. So, did you like the beach?" "No." Tommi sat back in her chair, looking thoughtful for a moment. "I felt like every guy on the beach was checking me out, staring at my body. And I _know_ what they were thinking - exactly what I would have been thinking a few months ago." "And that would be..." Julie was asking leading questions; she knew that Tommi had to confront those things that made her uncomfortable, so she'd have a good attitude during the rest of her pregnancy and especially during childbirth. Tommi had a look of disgust on her face. "Most of the guys were wondering whether I'd be any good in bed, whether they'd have any chance of scoring." She shook her head. "But that wasn't the worst part." "Oh?" Tommi scowled. "Some of the girls were so ... catty!" Julie laughed. "In case you hadn't noticed yet, women can be extremely jealous and vicious. Much more so than most guys realize." "No kidding! I've seen that in the Beta girls, and in Shelly." "And on the beach, I bet?" Julie prompted. "Yeah." "Did you consider that a lot of girls were envious of you, of your figure, of your looks?" Julie posed an interesting question. "Girls don't like competition." "But I'm not competing! I don't have anything for them to be jealous of. I'm just a plain girl!" Tommi protested. "I just wanted to be left alone." "Doesn't matter," Julie replied. "You didn't do a lot of partying, or did you?" Tommi shrugged. "I went to the parties. Since I wasn't drinking, I was the designated driver. Some of the guys thought I was a party-pooper since I wouldn't drink." Julie shook her head. "No matter that underage drinking is illegal, it's still very common during Spring Break." "I couldn't believe how some of my friends behaved!" Tommi sounded shocked. "They ... it was disgusting!" "What?" "A couple of times, Linda and Christina and Erica stayed out the whole night. They'd found someone to hook up with." Julie nodded. "And I take it you didn't think much of that behavior?" Tommi shook her head vigorously. "It's so ... stupid! They just met the guys, they were probably drunk, and I _doubt_ they took precautions. And they could have gotten an STD! It was _stupid_!" Julie took a careful sip of her coffee. "You know, girls can be just as interested in sex as guys are. Sometimes more so." She didn't' mention how _female_ Tommi's response had been. Tommi wrinkled her nose. "It sounds like you're telling me that, if I _did_ have sex ... as a girl ... it would be ... normal?" Tommi frowned. "Are you hinting that _you've_ slept with a guy?" Julie smiled enigmatically. "Whether I have or haven't is a personal matter. But you might find, especially now that you're pregnant, that you get aroused easily, and the hormones in your body, coupled with normal human curiosity, may lead you to try something." "Ewww!" Tommi exclaimed softly. "That's ... gross!" "Maybe now. Maybe always." Julie shook her head. "Every person is different. Some ... guys who've had the procedure find themselves _much_ more satisfied sexually as women. Some don't. Some never try. All I'm saying is, you _might_ try sex as a woman, and you might like it. And if you _do_ try, it's just normal curiosity." Tommi found the subject revolting, and yet, a tiny part of her found it intriguing. "You said you're changing back this summer?" Julie simply nodded as she took another sip of coffee. "So can I infer from what you're saying that, either you never tried, or if you did, you didn't find it appealing enough to stay?" Julie smiled. "Nice try. But that's still personal." ********** "Your breast growth is normal - both from pregnancy and normal body maturation. You're a full C-cup now, according to Tina's measurements," Rachel observed. "But I'm sure Tina told you that." Rachel looked carefully at Tommi. "I assume you didn't overdo anything? No strenuous activities, no drinking, no sunburn?" "I was a good girl," Tommi replied half-sarcastically. "I took care not to have any fun." Rachel gave her a disapproving stare. "You can knock off the sarcasm," she chided Tommi. "Okay," Tommi said meekly, suitably chastised. "You're still pretty upset about how your friends acted on Spring Break, aren't you?" Tommi nodded. "I remember hanging out with the guys, and all the talk about who nailed who, and in great details. It was like it was a contest. Maybe I was brought up to think that girls are somehow more innocent, but I was surprised at how the girls were almost ... obsessed with sex!" "Did you ever do anything like that - before your surgery?" Rachel asked. Tommi started. "Well, not really." She frowned. "I mean, I had a thing with a girl back home, but we'd known each other since grade school, and it wasn't a one-night stand." "How about the Dean's daughter?" Tommi winced and her face flushed red. "That's different." "Different? How?" Rachel shook her head. "Either you did or you didn't. Was it okay then?" Tommi shook her head. " I wasn't trying for anything. All I wanted was a nice first date. _She_ was the one who was aggressive." "But it was still a one-night stand." Tommi nodded slowly. "And I felt kind of guilty about it. I mean, it was great sex, but it didn't seem ... right. I gues it wasn't any more acceptable than what my friends were doing." Rachel laughed. "With everything that's happened to you, is it possible that your perspective has changed? Or is it that you're starting to feel strong ... desires ... because of your hormones, and that you're scared?" Tommi started at the bluntness of Rachel's observation. She sank back into her chair, her gaze dropping away from Rachel's eyes. "It scares me," she admitted softly. "In what way? Because you're afraid that if you try it, you'll find it addictive? Is that why you've been kind of distant to Suzie lately? Because she frightens you? Because you're afraid that you might find it's more fun to be a woman, and you might want to stay?" "Yes," Tommi admitted, still looking down at her lap instead of at Rachel. Rachel nodded slowly. "Tommi," she began, and paused until Tommi looked up at her. "Tommi, in all the years the program has operated, fewer than one in twenty men decide to stay women." Tommi nodded mutely, afraid to speak, despite the reassurance in Rachel's statistics. "And fewer than half of the men who've been in the program experience full male/female sex. But most _do_ masturbate, because they find the needs can get pretty intense during a hormone-laden pregnancy, especially when their bodies aren't used to female hormones." Rachel gazes evenly at Tommi. "If you _do_ decide to masturbate - to relieve some of your, um, tension, you won't be the first, and it will not turn you into a sex- crazed whore. It won't mean that you're going to stay a woman. Your hormones aren't going to make you suddenly go ga-ga over some guy with tight pants and a big bulge, and take that guy to your room to bed for a one-night stand. It's your mind that rules, not your hormones." "So what you're trying to say is that girls can be just as sexual as guys, and it's normal, and I shouldn't be afraid of that?" Tommi asked meekly. "Pretty much," Rachel answered. "Somehow, that isn't very reassuring." ********** The sound of the key in the door interrupted Tommi; she looked up from her book toward the door. Katie pushed the door open. "What a day!" she sighed as she dropped her book bag onto the floor by her bed. She pulled her pillow up as a backrest and slumped down on the bed. "I hate tests like that." Tommi closed her book and turned her chair toward Katie. Katie's eyes narrowed. "Something up?" she asked, suddenly concerned. Tommi nodded grimly. "We ... haven't talked much ... since I got back, that is." Katie scowled. "I thought everything was normal. Unless ...." Her eyes widened. "You're talking about what happened on Spring Break, aren't you?" Tommi nodded again. "I think we need to talk." Katie sighed. "We've been over that." Tommi closed her eyes and shook her head. "I just ... think ..." "It's _fine_!" Katie said emphatically. "I _know_ you had a great time; Mom told me how much you enjoyed shopping with her, and how relaxed you seemed." "But ... they're _your_ parents!" Tommi objected sharply. "It _seems_ wrong, like ..." She couldn't figure out the words to finish her thought. Katie sighed aloud. "I do _not_ feel like you're stealing my parents! I'm honestly very glad that you had a good time with Mom. She adores you, and was very glad you could visit, especially since I was stuck up here." "But..." "I am _not_ jealous that you had a good time with _my_ parents!" Katie said firmly. "I am glad. Very glad." She leaned forward on her bed. "Tommi, have I ever lied to you?" "No," Tommi answered cautiously. "That's right, I haven't. And when I told you that you're like a little sister to me, I was telling the truth. You _are_ like a little sister. Mom and Dad think so, too." Katie waited until Tommi looked her in the eye. "Honestly, I am _not_ jealous." She laughed lightly. "Maybe when I was younger, I would have been, but I'm not a little kid anymore." She tilted her head back, biting her lip, thinking for a moment. When she looked back at Tommi, she continued. "Mom needs you," she said. "She's always needed another daughter to help her over a pain that I didn't even know she was carrying." Katie wiped at her tears. "I think I needed a little sister, too." She pushed herself up, crossed the room, and squatted down beside Tommi, her arms wrapped around Tommi in a tight embrace and her head on Tommi's shoulder. "You're _family_ to us. Don't you ever doubt that." ********** (to be continued)