Operation Rescue - The New Co-Ed; Chapter 18 free porn video

Operation Rescue: The New Co-Ed Chapter 18 -- Dealing with Grief A young man gets in trouble and loses his scholarship. It looks like his dream of college to escape a poor future is doomed - until he sees an ad recruiting 'adoption facilitators'. Tommi and Sara have to deal with their own grief, and Tommi has a run-in with a student who's dealing with her own grief-related issues. [email protected] ********************************************************************** "You aren't going back for the funeral?" Rachel seemed stunned by Tommi's decision. Tommi shook her head. "Why? There's nothing for me there." She leaned back casually in the stuffed chair in Rachel's office, but even then, her legs were properly crossed because she was wearing a skirt. "Besides, everyone back home knows who I am now, and what I'm doing." She shook her head. "It's not safe." Rachel noted Tommi's posture. Tommi's habits were a lot more feminine than Tommi even realized. It would be something for Rachel to bring up later. Maybe she'd suggest that Dee get together with Tommi and discuss the subject; after all, Dee was Tommi's new mentor. Besides, Tommi still hadn't opened completely up to Rachel after their 'incident' the past summer. Even though they were making progress, Rachel knew she had a long way to go to re-establish that trust with Tommi that Rachel had shattered. In the meantime, Rachel had more pressing issues to discuss with Tommi. "I understand that you had issues with your mom, but it seems a little disrespectful." "I had a chance to talk with Ma, to let her know that I forgave her,"Tommi said, sounding a bit defensive. "How'd that go?" Tommi snorted. "She was pig-headed and stubborn to the end. Sara said the same thing happened to her." "How did Liz react to your trip home?" Tommi shook her head. "She's just as angry as Ma was, and she seemed to be extra-bitter towards both Sara and me." Tommi sighed heavily. "She's just like Ma, in too many ways." As Tommi recollected the weekend, a tiny laugh escaped her. "Something about the trip amused you." Tommi nodded. "You should have seen the look on Liz's face when both Sara and I pleaded with her to not follow the same path Ma took." Rachel's was thoroughly surprised. "That sounds ... very charitable of you, considering. How did she react?" Tommi laughed. "It was the first time in our lives that we saw her speechless. Sara even told her that, even though she'd been mean and spiteful toward us, she was still family, that we still cared about her, and we really wished that she'd quit smoking so we didn't lose another family member." "All things considered, that's a lot more than I'd have been able to do." Rachel glanced at her notes. "You don't feel any grief?" she asked, almost incredulous. "Nope." "No sense of loss?" Tommi looked evenly at Rachel. "If you were in my shoes, would you?" "I don't know. I'm _not_ in your shoes." "Good point." Tommi sighed. "Look, I know you're concerned about my mental health," Tommi explained, "but I'm okay. It's hard to explain, but I feel like I lost Ma years ago, not just three days ago. She was so distant and angry and resentful, I never felt any closeness. Does that make any sense?" Rachel nodded. "Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. You'd mourned that loss years before." "When Liz called to tell me that Ma was on a breathing tube, Sara and I knew that she wasn't going to last very long." "How did she go - if you don't mind me asking?" She was probing a bit, hoping that if there was any grief, her questions would draw it out. It wouldn't be healthy for Tommi - or the baby - for her to carry unresolved emotional issues. Tommi closed her eyes momentarily, biting her lower lip as she did so. There _was_ some emotion there. "After we left home, before we even got back here, they had to intubate Ma. She was having a lot of trouble breathing. On Monday, she was fighting the tube whenever the morphine didn't have her knocked out. Monday night, when she was conscious, apparently she indicated to the nurse that she didn't want more pain meds, but she did want to talk to Liz. Liz said that she asked Ma if she wanted the tube out, and Ma agreed. The doctor told Liz that Ma would die without the breathing tube. Liz told Ma, and Ma agreed again." Tommi paused, and wiped at the corner of her eye. "They took out the tube Monday night, and only then did she let them give her more morphine. Within a couple of hours, she was gone." "It sounds like it was peaceful for her." Tommi nodded. "Yeah. Liz said she wasn't in pain. She just faded away in her sleep." "How is Sara doing?" Tommi's eyebrows rose when Rachel mentioned Sara. "She's doing okay, I guess." Tommi couldn't shake the feeling that Rachel's concern for Sara meant something more than just concern about how Sara could help Tommi. "You two have been talking about your mom's death?" "Yeah. But mostly about arrangements, you know." Tommi sighed. "Liz already had Ma's power of attorney from us so she can handle the estate, or what little Ma had that would pass for an estate. And I sent her some money so she could rent a storage space to put Sara's and my personal things in until we can get up there to move them." Rachel sighed. "You sound a little too ... clinical. You know, detached, unemotional." Tommi scowled. "What do you expect?" she retorted quickly. "Even on her death bed, she rejected me." Tommi sounded bitter. Rachel scribbled some quick notes. There _was_ emotion about the death, as she'd suspected. Now that it was out in the open, she could help Tommi get past her hurt feelings. "But you _did_ expect that, didn't you? As I recall, you really didn't want to go, right?" "No, not really." "Perhaps you were clinging to an illusion that things could be made better? Were you hoping that, perhaps, your mom and you could reconcile?" Rachel speculated. "Maybe." "And maybe you were afraid of finding out that things were _never_ going to be better, and that your feelings of rejection were real?" Tommi cocked her head slightly and gazed at Rachel. "Do you know what it's like to be rejected by your own family?" Rachel shook her head slowly. "No, I don't. I'm not going to pretend that I understand what you went through. I _do_ know that you're hurting because of it." "I've been rejected by my whole town," Tommi reminded her. "Not just my Ma, but everyone I knew growing up." Tommi sighed heavily. "After we left the hospital, Sara and I stopped for a bite before we hit the road. We ... bumped into Amanda, an old girlfriend. She'd heard the gossip and rumors, and she was pretty quick to figure out it was me." Tommi closed her eyes, shaking her head sadly. "She said some pretty mean things. It was pretty clear that everyone was going to reject me the same as she did." "But not your little sister, Sara," Rachel reminded her. "Not Katie. Not your friends in the dorm. Not Erica. Not Brian. In fact, there are a _lot_ of people who haven't rejected you, but have accepted you and love you." "I suppose," Tommi said, not sounding convinced. "What you need to understand is that the problem was theirs, not yours. Your mother rejected you because of _her_ issues, not yours. She was bitter because she felt that you had gotten in the way of _her_ success. She felt that she'd been blamed by your dad for you not measuring up. She felt that you and Sara took away her chance to escape. She probably resented you for finding a way out, because it reminded her that she hadn't. It sounds like she was very selfish, and that was _her_ problem." "That sounds too easy," Tommi said softly. "And it seems so hard to do." Rachel laughed. "Often, we overlook simple solutions to complex problems because we think the solution has to be complex." "Maybe." ********** Tommi was just opening the door to her dorm when she heard her name being called. She paused, glancing in the direction the shout had come from. "Hi, Jillian," she yelled back when she saw the source of the interruption. "How was your trip?" Jillian asked as she ran to catch up with Tommi. Tommi shook her head. "Not good." Tommi held the door for Jillian to enter, and followed. "Hey, I should be doing that for you," Jillian chided. Tommi laughed. "I'm pregnant, not crippled." Jillian looked slightly chastized by Tommi's words. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "It's just that, well, you know." Tommi smiled and lightly grasped Jillian's hand as a gesture of friendship and support. "I know. To you, this is _very_ special, and you want everything to be perfect." "I'm glad you understand." "So what's up? You aren't going to convince me that you just happened to be in the area," Tommi said with a smile. "Not this late in the afternoon." Jillian laughed. "I'm not even going to try." The merriment left her voice. "I ... well, I heard that your mother passed away, and I wondered if you might maybe, you know, want to talk." Tommi abruptly stopped mid-stride. She looked down, biting her lip. Jillian noticed that Tommi had stopped, so she turned toward her friend. "Are you okay?" Tommi shook her head, still looking down. "I know you mean well," she said hesitantly, "but this is ... personal." Jillian nodded mutely. Tommi continued. "I never got along with Ma." She looked up, directly into Jillian's eyes. "I don't feel much of a sense of loss. I know it sounds cold, but I just don't feel the way people expect me to." "I didn't mean ...." Tommi nodded, a thin smile on her lips. "I know. You're concerned about me, and I appreciate it. But I'm okay. Honest." "All right." The two girls walked up the stairs toward Tommi's room. "Do you feel much morning sickness?" Jillian changed the subject. Tommi laughed. "Not this time. The first one, I had it bad. But this one is a _lot_ easier." "I felt _awful_ -- before the transfer!" Jillian commented. "After the transfer, I kept praying that you wouldn't feel as sick as I did." "I guess I got the lucky break this time. They tell me that it varies from woman to woman, and from child to child." Tommi paused to unlock and open her door. "Wanna go get some pizza?" "Pizza? Does your diet allow pizza?" Tommi grinned. "I've earned a treat. My doctor is very happy with my weight this week, and I got to do a light workout for the first time since the surgery, so I figured pizza would be a good celebration." She grinned. "As long as nobody tells Dr. Tina!" Tommi dropped her purse on her desk. "I've got to change from my workout clothes. Shouldn't take but a minute. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable." She began to gather fresh clothes from her dresser and closet. Jillian sat in Tommi's chair. "What's it like, living in the dorms? I'd guess you don't have much privacy." Tommi laughed as she pulled off her spandex top. "Not really, but it's no big deal to me. I take it you live at home?" "Yeah." The door opened, and the sound of many happy girls exploded into the room, followed closely by "the gang." Sara was the first one in. "Hey, Tommi," she called out, then she froze for a moment when she saw Jillian. Behind Sara, Katie, Ashley, Christine, Erica, and Diane came in, and they also stopped short when they recognized Jillian. "Hi," Jillian said nervously, knowing that her presence had dampened the girls' spirits. "Jillian," Sara said curtly. Katie nodded toward Jillian, and made a show of turning toward Tommi. "We were just talking about going out for a bite. You wanna come?" Tommi pulled her T-shirt over her head and pulled her hair free. "_We_ were just talking about pizza. That sounds like a great idea." Jillian noticed the way the other girls were looking askance at her. "Uh, I think I'll take a pass tonight," she said half-heartedly. "Meet at the bake shop after your 9:00 class?" She rose and started toward the door. Tommi intercepted Jillian, wrapped her arm around Jillian's shoulder, and turned on the girls. "Why don't you just drop it?" she demanded of them. "Jillian is my friend. I don't understand why you're so down on her?" Erica frowned. "In case you don't remember, it's _her_ fault that you're in the situation you're in," she said caustically. "So? It's my life. If I've accepted it, why can't you?" "I know Tommi's your friend," Jillian said tentatively, "and I know you think I'm to blame for what she's going through. But think of it this way - if Tom and I hadn't been caught ... being intimate, then you all wouldn't have Tommi." The joke fell flat. Katie stood, arms crossed and staring stern-faced at Jillian. "I'm sorry, Tommi," she said while frowning at Jillian, "but I'm having a hard time with trusting her. How do you know she's not using you again to get her out of trouble with her dad?" Tommi started to speak, but Jillian put her hand on Tommi's arm. "I deserved that," she said sadly. "I can't make you like me, or even accept me. We didn't exactly start out on the right foot." She sighed. "What will it take for you to believe that I've changed? That Tommi helped me by being a friend and believing in me?" She turned toward the door again. "I'll see you tomorrow," she said to Tommi. She sounded defeated and sad. Tommi hurried over to block the door. "You're not leaving," she said firmly. "I've know what guys do in situations like this. It's a showdown. Someone forces the issue, there might be words or even a fight, and, by the end of the night, the guys are all drinking buddies." "I also know that girls are a _lot_ different. From what I've seen, girls aren't _nearly_ as willing to forgive and forget, or let bygones be bygones." She shook her head. "I don't know _all_ the girl rules, so we'll play it by rules I _do_ know." "I want this to end _now_. I want you all to accept that I trust Jillian, and I know that I'm the one who'll get hurt if I'm making a mistake in my judgment. I don't expect you all to be best buds with her, but I want you to give her the same break you gave me when I first came here last year. I was a former guy, and none of you knew me, and you had _no_ reason whatsoever to trust me. But you gave _me_ a chance. I want you do the same for Jillian." When Tommi finished her short speech, the girls were all looking down at the floor, except for Katie. She stared at Tommi for a few seconds, glanced at Jillian, and turned her head back toward Tommi. "You're right, Tommi," she said. "That's not how girls do things. But you've got a good point." She turned to Jillian, and reached out her hand. "If Tommi trusts you, then I can too." The other girls stared in shock at the exchange, before, one by one, they nodded their agreement. "Yeah," Ashley added. "If Tommi can be friendly after Jillian made her get pregnant, I guess we should be able to as well." She giggled. "Damn, that sounded weird!" The girls guffawed at Ashley's strange comment. Jillian glanced at Tommi briefly before wrapping her arms around Katie. "Thank you," she said, knowing her eyes were misting. "All I want is to be friends with Tommi." "But if you hurt my little sister," Katie added menacingly, "I _will_ make sure you regret it." Jillian nodded. "Deal, because if I hurt her, I'll deserve whatever I get." One by one, the other girls gave Jillian a quick hug. "Okay, now who wants pizza? I got my monthly check, so I'll buy!" Tommi announced. Tommi's offer rekindled the mood of joviality, as she hoped it would. Kim and Linda had been in the gym working out and had missed the confrontation. They joined the rest of the girls at the pizza parlor. For a few seconds, it was awkward, until Katie filled them in. Though there was still some distrust of Jillian, the tension was greatly lessened, and the girls enjoyed a break from their studies. Even though it was a treat for Tommi, Katie and Sara were watching what Tommi was eating. Tommi had a small, plain salad with no dressing before she ate any pizza, much to her dismay, after Katie reminded her that Dr. Tina would be unhappy if she totally blew her diet. Much later, as the girls walked back into the dorm, Jillian paused at the door. "I have to go home," she said, sounding less than enthusiastic. "But I had fun. Thank you." Tommi gave Jillian a quick hug before following the other girls into the dorm. She didn't notice that Sara had held back and was still outside. Jillian _did_ notice. "I guess you want to talk to me," she said bluntly to Sara. Sara nodded. Without warning, she launched herself at Jillian, wrapping her arms around the stunned girl in a massive bear hug. "I wanted to say thank you," Sara said as she laid her head alongside Jillian's. "Thank you for giving me a loving, caring sister. Tommi means more to me than anything in the world, and if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have her." Jillian gingerly returned the hug. "You're welcome," she said slowly. "I guess." Sara backed off the hug. "I need to warn you of something, though." "What's that?" "I love my sister more than anything. If you hurt her, you ... will ... pay!" Sara's words had a menacing edge that made it clear just _how much_ she loved her sister. Jillian smiled. "I want _you_ to know that I could never, ever hurt Tommi again. Not after what she's doing for me. As good a sister as she is for you, she's that good a friend to me." ********** Tommi rounded the corner of the classroom building, holding her books in front of her chest, and not really focusing on where she was going. Without warning, she bumped squarely into another person who was coming from the other direction. Tommi halted awkwardly, and looked up. "Sorry, Stephanie," she said as soon as she recognized the other person. Stephanie glared at Tommi, before she started to shove her way roughly past Tommi. "Out of my way," she snapped. "Please don't shove, Stephanie," Tommi insisted firmly as she tried to dodge the physical shoving. "You might hurt the baby!" The effect on Stephanie was unexpected. She stopped, frozen, her eyes widening with shock. "Baby?" she stammered. Tommi nodded slowly. "I'm pregnant. I don't want anything to happen to the baby, so please don't push and shove me." Though her words were polite, she was very firm about her request. Stephanie took a half-step backward, and collapsed against the wall. She looked shell-shocked at Tommi's revelation. Without warning, tears gushed from her eyes. "I'm sorry," she bawled. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know." As her face fell into her hands, she turned and bolted away from Tommi, crying aloud as she ran. Without knowing why, Tommi found herself following Stephanie. "Steph," she called, "wait up! Are you okay?" She caught up to Stephanie in the stairwell, where Steph had collapsed onto a step, bawling. "Steph, I'm sorry! I didn't mean anything!" Tommi repeated. She sat down beside Stephanie and hesitantly put her hand on Stephanie's shoulder. She expected Steph to rear up and snarl at her. Instead, Stephanie leaned against Tommi, putting her head on Tommi's shoulder as she continued to cry uncontrollably. After the tears slowed, Stephanie muttered between sobs, "Are you really pregnant?" Tommi nodded. "Yup. It's my second one." "But ... you were a guy!" Stephanie exclaimed, confused. Tommi nodded slowly. "I ... changed so I could pay my tuition. I work for a clinic that provides surrogate wombs for babies that would otherwise be aborted." Stephanie's tears broke out anew, and her wailing increased in volume. Not knowing what else to do, Tommi let Stephanie cry on her shoulder for some time, all the while wondering why Stephanie was reacting the way she was. Through the tears, Stephanie muttered over and over, barely audible, "I'm so sorry!" Eventually, her tears slowed. "It's okay, Steph," Tommi said soothingly. "I didn't take it personally." Steph looked up at Tommi, her cheeks tear-stained and her eyes red and puffy. "Not you," she said softly. "_My_ baby!" She broke out in uncontrollable tears again as she spoke the words, collapsing onto Tommi's shoulder. "I don't understand." Stephanie lifted her head, looking at Tommi. "No one does," she said as she wiped at her continuing stream of tears. "No one understands." "Steph, are you okay?" Tommi asked, trying to sooth the distraught girl. "No, I'm not," Steph countered, her voice tinged with despair. "I'm not okay, and I never will be again!" "No, Steph," Tommi countered, trying to buoy the girl's spirits, "you're..." "I'll never be okay!" Stephanie rebutted sharply. "Don't you get it? I got ... pregnant ... and I had it aborted!" She started bawling again. Tommi's mouth dropped open; she had no idea how to respond. For some reason, Tommi's admission prompted Stephanie to bare her soul. "I was a freshman," she began, still crying. "I ... thought I was in love with one of the seniors. He ... we ... " She dropped her head on Tommi's shoulder again. "I think I was trying to trap him. I got pregnant. I was terrified when I found out." She sobbed more. "He ... told me to get it taken care of. Then he never spoke to me again!" Tommi held her arm around Stephanie. "Oh, Steph, it happens." "It wasn't supposed to happen!" Steph cried. "Are you Catholic?" Tommi shook her head. "No. Why?" "Then you don't know what this meant to me!" Stephanie sobbed. "I can never receive the sacraments again! Abortion is ... automatic ... excommunication." Tommi stroked Stephanie's head as she cradled the sobbing girl. "I didn't know." "I grew up in a good Catholic family. We went to Mass every week. Mom and Dad sacrificed so much so I could go to Catholic grade school and high school. And then I did something stupid!" She shook her head sadly, still crying. "I ... can't tell my parents! They'd be too disappointed in me! I don't even go to Mass any more, and it's causing problems in my family!" She started to cry again. "I'm all alone!" Tommi suddenly wished that she knew more about the Catholic faith so she could help Stephanie. "Don't you have confession or something that you can go to?" Stephanie shook her head slowly. "You don't understand. I'm ... I can't," her head sank, "Not after what I did!" Tommi lifted her chin and looked Stephanie in the eyes. "Last year, I was a womanizing guy, and I got in trouble. Was _I_ worthy of a second chance? _Someone_ thought so, or I wouldn't be here! Isn't that a kind of penance?" Stephanie sobbed. "I ... can't!" "You _have_ to!" Tommi insisted. "I'm guessing that you've never told anyone, right?" Steph shook her head, affirming that Tommi's guess was correct. "Right now, I can tell you're hurt and you feel lost. You need to regain your footing. I think you to should _try_ to talk to a pastor - or priest, or whatever they're called. You won't know the answer unless you try!" Stephanie looked at Tommi, her eyes questioning. "Would ... you come with me?" she asked softly, uncertainly. "Please? I need someone to ... help." Tommi knew she had homework to do, but she felt compelled to try to help Stephanie, despite how Stephanie had treated her in the past. "Okay. Where do we go?" She stood and helped Stephanie get to her feet. "There's a Newman Center on campus," Stephanie said. "It's close by." The two women set out across campus, with Tommi keeping her arm around Stephanie for moral support. Steph seemed uncertain in her steps, hestitant, and she was leaning heavily on Tommi for courage to continue the journey. Tommi wondered why Steph had decided to unburden herself with Tommi. She replayed the conversation in her mind over and over, until Tommi slowly realized that the key words were 'pregnant' and 'abortion'. It struck Tommi that Stephanie's emotional breakdown was inevitable, and that she just happened to be the one who had triggered it. As they neared the Newman Center, Stephanie hesitated. "I ... can't" she sobbed. Tommi gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze. "Yes, you can, Steph," she said soothingly. "You can do this. You _need_ to do this." Stephanie swallowed hard, then looked at Tommi for reassurance. "I'm ... scared," she admitted softly. "You can do it," Tommi repeated. "I'm here with you." The pair walked slowly up the sidewalk toward the building. Tommi felt nervous because she'd never been in a Catholic church. In fact, the anti- Catholic bigotry in her home was strong, even if she didn't realize its effects on her. It was with a little trepidation that Tommi opened the door leading into the church. The noise of a music group rehearsing was unexpected; Tommi flinched slightly. She'd grown up with the stereotype of nuns and somber older folks doing chants in Latin, so the modern sounding music and the contemporary look and feel of the worship space confused Tommi. With her arm still wrapped around Stephanie, Tommi looked around, wondering who or what she was actually searching for. One of the singers, a perky young girl, noticed them come in, and noticed that both girls seemed lost and confused. She practically skipped from the choir space to where Tommi and Stephanie stood. "Hi," she said in a cheery greeting. "Can I help you?" Tommi swallowed nervously. "My friend needs to talk to someone about ... a problem." "Oh," the girl replied. "Do you need a priest, or would you like to talk to one of our youth counselors?" Tommi shrugged, her mouth open in uncertainty, and she looked to Stephanie for guidance. "A priest," Stephanie said softly, almost inaudibly. "Okay. Father Bill is probably in his office. If not," she added, "I can call him." She led Tommi and Stephanie across the back of the church, down a corridor, and into what looked to be a mix of office and living area. "Oh, good, Father is in his office," she said when she saw a light in another room. She led the girls to the door and peeked in. "Father Bill?" There was a brief pause before she continued. "A couple of girls came by and said they need to talk to a priest." The priest met Tommi and Stephanie at the door of his office. "Come in," he invited warmly. "Come in. Have a seat." The office was mostly informal, with a couple of small sofas and some stuffed chairs, and a small desk near one wall. The entire wall behind the desk was shelves filled with books and a few religious items. The girl smiled at Tommi and Stephanie. "Good luck," she said in a hopeful voice before leaving to go back to the singing group. "Thanks," Tommi replied. She sat down beside Stephanie in one of the sofas, grasping her hand for support. "How can I help you?" the priest asked simply as he eased himself into one of the chairs. Tommi was surprised by the priest's appearance. She'd expected a Bing Crosby type of priest, or a formal and stern old man. Instead, the priest was in his mid-thirties, and his eyes sparkled with energy. He wore his beard and moustache neatly trimmed, and he was a bit portly. The first impression Tommi had was a young Santa. Tommi glanced at Stephanie, who seemed almost frozen with nerves. "My friend has a problem, and she needs to talk to someone." "Oh? And what's the nature of the problem?" Steph bit her lip, hesitating. Tommi prompted her. "Come on, Steph. You _need_ to do this." "I ... had ..." Steph's eyes started watering as she tried to continue. "I had ... an ... abortion," she sobbed as she buried her head in her hands. "I see," the priest said, his voice even, devoid of judgment, and even a bit sympathetic. "And ...?" Stephanie didn't look up. "I ... can't take the sacraments," Stephanie bawled. "And my parents don't know." "Don't you do like some confession forgiveness thing?" Tommi blurted. The priest smiled sadly at Tommi. "I take it you aren't Catholic?" "No." "It doesn't work that way," he explained patiently. "I'm ... excommunicated, aren't I?" Steph asked through her sobbing. "I'll never be able to take the sacraments again, will I?" Father Bill sighed. "Abortion is a mortal sin," he said, not mincing his words. He glanced at Tommi. "That's the most serious type of sin," he explained for her benefit before he turned his attention back to Stephanie. "But excommunication and permanent exclusion is more of a myth than reality." Stephanie looked up at his last words. "Any sin, no matter how serious, can be forgiven, under the right circumstances," he continued. "You aren't automatically condemned because of one sin." He saw the hopeful look in Stephanie's eyes. "You _do_ remember that our Lord taught that _all_ sins can be forgiven, right? But to receive forgiveness, you must first be truly penitant, and then you need to do penance to atone in some way for your sin. For a mortal sin like abortion, it will need to be a significant penance." "Maybe like ..." Tommi started, then she stopped. "Go on," Father Bill urged, curious as to what this non-Catholic girl might suggest. "Well," Tommi was hesitant, "I'm in a program with the Morris Foundation. They help save babies by providing a 'host womb' for a baby that would otherwise be aborted." Father Bill nodded. "I've heard of the program." "Well," Tommi continued, "wouldn't that be penance, to help prevent an abortion?" Steph looked at Tommi, eyes wide with surprise. "But ..." She was hesitant about Tommi's suggestion. The priest nodded. "That might be one way to do penance, although I would have to check to see if the Church approves of that ... process. There are other ways as well. It's really more for formal Reconciliation." He looked directly at Stephanie. "Would you like me to get my stole so you can do a confession?" Stephanie glanced uneasily at Tommi before nodding slowly. Father Bill seemed relieved that Stephanie wanted to reconcile. He looked at Tommi. "The sacrament of Reconciliation is a very private, personal matter," he said solemnly. You will need to leave while Stephanie has this sacrament." Tommi nodded slowly. "Okay." She patted Stephanie on the arm. "I'll be out in the church waiting," she said. ********** Tommi sat in the back pews, trying to stay comfortable and innocuous to the singing group. Surprisingly, as she looked around she found so many things that she didn't understand. Yet the church had a 'homey' feel to it. The music seemed warm and relaxing, but it had a spiritual message that reminded her of her home-town church. Tommi found it a comfortable place to rest. After a while, Stephanie emerged, beside Father Bill. She looked a little less uncertain, but there was still sadness in her eyes. She thanked him, and he gave Stephanie a blessing. Tommi rose and met Stephanie at the main door. Then Father Bill surprised Tommi, by asking, "You are carrying a baby now?" Tommi nodded. "Would you like a blessing, for you and for the baby?" Tommi's eyes widened, and she glanced at Stephanie. "I ... I guess." Father Bill smiled. "Don't worry. It won't hurt." He said a prayer for both Tommi and for the unborn baby she was carrying. As Tommi and Stephanie walked back into the cold evening air, Tommi asked, "How did it go? Are you okay?" Stephanie sighed. "Yes. No." She shook her head. "I don't know." She sighed again. "Father Bill helped me understand that, no matter what, I'm never going to be the same. I'll probably always feel a sense of loss. But there is a way for me to obtain forgiveness, and to be reconciled with the church." "That sounds good," Tommi said hesitantly. "I guess." The two girls walked in silence for over a block. "Tommi," Stephanie finally said, breaking the silence. "Yes?" "Can you take me ... to the clinic? Maybe tomorrow?" Tommi felt a surge of relief. Stephanie had been so distraught that Tommi had feared for Steph's safety. "Of course, I can." Steph turned and wrapped Tommi in her arms. "Thank you. For listening. And for helping." ********** Tommi hesitated at the front door. The sorority house was fancy, like most of the Greek houses on campus, and the Betas had a reputation of being world-class snobs. She remembered the nasty things these girls had said to her, how they'd mocked her, and mistreated her. She felt very unsure about even being here. The door opened before Tommi could turn away. "Can I help you?" the girl at the door asked in a none-too-inviting tone. "I was supposed to come by and pick up Stephanie," Tommi said, working to control her anger at the rude manners of the girl. "Oh," the girl said, sounding almost disappointed that she'd just lost her excuse to continue practicing rudeness. "I see. Do you want to wait inside?" she asked, managing to make her invitation sound like she thought Tommi was beneath the Sorority's station. "No," Tommi said evenly. "Please tell Stephanie that I'm waiting in my car." "Okay." The door shut in Tommi's face. Tommi shook her head in disbelief at the incredible lack of civility the girl had just displayed toward her. It was no wonder that this sorority had the reputation of being a bunch of bitches. In only a minute or so, Stephanie emerged from the house. She trudged toward Tommi's car, and in that moment of watching her, Tommi realized that Stephanie's body language looked a lot less arrogant than she'd ever been. Perhaps even humbled? Without a word, Stephanie climbed in the passenger seat, and the two drove in silence down to the clinic. Inside, Suzie greeted Tommi as usual - like a close sister. "You here for your checkup, right?" Suzie asked after the greetings and hugs. Tommi nodded. "First, though, I have an appointment with Rachel." She turned toward Stephanie. "I promised Stephanie that I'd introduce her. She might be interested in the program." "Oh, good!" Suzie said happily. "I'll let Rachel know you're here." The girls didn't even have a chance to sit before Rachel came out into the lobby. She walked directly to Tommi and wrapped her in a warm hug. "You're looking well." Tommi smiled, but faintly. "Can you put in a good word with Dr. Tina, then? She's going to complain that I'm cheating on my diet!" Rachel stepped back and gazed up and down Tommi's figure. "It doesn't show, so it can't be _that_ bad!" She laughed. "But I know what she's like." She shook her head, still smiling. "You're on your own. I'm not going to get caught between the two of you!" She gave Stephanie a curious glance. "And you are?" "This is my friend, Stephanie. She's interested in learning more about the program. Stephanie, this is Dr. Rachel McKnight, the director of the center." She grinned. "But she won't let us call her anything but Rachel!" Rachel grasped Stephanie's hand. "I'm pleased to meet you," she said warmly. "Likewise," Stephanie replied, sounding nervous. Rachel picked up on Stephanie's hesitancy. "Why don't we go back to my office and get to know each other? I'm sure you have a lot of questions about the clinic and the program." She turned and started walking with Stephanie toward the back. "And I'm going to see Dr. Tina for my checkup," Tommi said before they disappeared. "I'll probably be done first, Steph, but if I'm not, I haven't abandoned you." She saw Stephanie's nod of affirmation before Rachel and Stephanie vanished into the back. "I bet there's a story behind her," Suzie observed softly as she watched the two go into the back. Tommi nodded. "Yup. But I can't talk about it." She turned and walked back herself, turning toward the clinic instead of the offices, as Rachel and Stephanie had. ********** "So?" Tommi asked, breaking an awkward silence, as they drove back to her sorority house. Stephanie sighed. "Dr. McKnight thinks that I'm not ready to be a surrogate," she said softly. "She said that I need to do this for more than just penance. I have to have a _need_ in my heart to help others, not just myself." "Oh," Tommi said softly. "I'm sorry." Stephanie shook her head. "No. She's right. I can't just do this to get quick forgiveness. I'm _not_ sure I want to do this. She told me what's involved, and she said that if I wasn't one hundred percent sure, it would be the wrong thing to do." "So what are you going to do?" Stephanie leaned back against the headrest. "Father Bill said it would need to be a serious penance," she explained to Tommi. "He said it might not be easy. I guess he was right." Stephanie tried to smile. "Rachel set me up a volunteer position helping around the office. She also asked me to meet with the 'prospective donors' groups to talk about what _my_ abortion meant to me, as part of a program to help women understand that deciding to have an abortion is a life-changing decision." "That sounds like it's going to be tough." Stephanie nodded. "Yeah. She also said that if I still want to do it in a month, we can start the testing to see if I'd be a suitable donor." "That sounds reasonable." Tommi pulled her car to a halt by the curb in front of Steph's sorority house. I thought so, too." Stephanie unbuckled her seatbelt, then leaned over and gave Tommi a hug. "Thanks. For everything." She closed her eyes for a moment. "It hurts, and it probably always will, but I feel like I've finally found a path forward." She shook her head. "It's not going to be easy, but at least it's a positive step." Tommi sat in her car watching Stephanie walk to the front door and enter the house. She hoped that Stephanie would be okay. Despite how Stephanie had acted toward her, she really didn't wish Stephanie any harm. ********** (to be continued)