Operation Rescue - The New Co-Ed; Chapter 20 free porn video

Operation Rescue: The New Co-Ed Chapter 20 - First Date A young man gets in trouble and loses his scholarship. It looks like his dream of college to escape a poor future is doomed - until he sees an ad recruiting 'adoption facilitators'. As the semester winds down, Tommi get asked to go to the Winter Formal, which requires that she reveal her past. Meanwhile her mentor helps her begin to discover who and what she is, and get some clues about what her future might hold. [email protected] ********************************************************************** "Hi, Tommi," Brian called as he dashed to catch up with Tommi. "How are things?" Tommi sighed to herself. "Peachy," she said sarcastically. "I've got a major paper and two lab reports to finish before we start studying for finals." "You'll do fine," Brian said, both to bolster her confidence and to demonstrate, yet again, that he really liked Tommi. "I wish you were studying computer engineering, though." "Why? So we'd have more classes together?" Tommi tried to keep her voice cordial. "Well, yeah, that too," Brian answered, blushing. "But I was thinking mostly that I could help you study, so you felt more confident going into your finals." He laughed. "I don't know anything about anatomy and physiology or the bioengineering courses you're taking!" Tommi let herself smile. "Just like I know nothing about computer engineering." Though it was in the opposite direction of Brian's apartment, he walked with Tommi toward her dorm. Tommi knew there was something on his mind; Brian was having trouble making small talk. "Um," Brian finally started to speak again. "You know the Winter Formal is coming up next week, and ..." Tommi shook her head. "Brian, please don't." "But...?" He seemed confused. After all, they'd shared an intimate kiss the night of the Halloween party. Tommi let her head fall forward, shaking it slowly as she bit her lip. When she looked up, she had a sad expression. "There's a lot about me that you don't know." Brian was ready for that line. She'd said it to him the night of the Halloween party. "Isn't that part of the fun of dating - getting to know each other better?" Tommi sighed, then reached into her backpack and pulled out her wallet. She fumbled around and pulled out an old photo she'd kept in case she ever had to explain things to Brian. She'd dreaded the thought of actually having to show him. It was faded and somewhat wrinkled, but she handed it to him. Brian looked at the picture, studying it closely. "Who's this? Your brother?" he asked. "I see a family resemblance." Tommi shook her head sadly. "No," she said, her head shaking and her eyes mostly closed. "It's not my brother." "But ... it looks so much like you," Brian observed. Tommi had been dreading this moment, hoping it would never come. "That picture ... is _me_." Brian looked at Tommi, then at the picture again. "But ..." He shook his head. "You're kidding, right?" His brow wrinkled as he tried to figure out what Tommi was intimating. "You're a transsexual? No, that can't be! You had a baby!" Tommi took the picture back from Brian. "Have you ever heard of the Morris-Henderson process?" Brian thought for a moment. Suddenly, as if a light bulb had come on, he nodded. "They're the guys who developed the organ cloning process," he said. Then his eyes widened. "And there's a Morris foundation that ..." He stopped abruptly as full realization of Tommi's situation hit him. He stood, his mouth agape and a shocked look on his face. She winced at his reaction. "Up until last year, this picture was me. I got into trouble and lost my scholarship." She knew that Brian adored her, but she also knew that she _had_ to tell him the whole story, since he'd asked her on a date. "I found a job at the Morris Foundation clinic - as an adoption facilitator. It's called a lot of other things, too, like a rent-a-womb." "But you were a guy?" Tommi nodded. "They used the organ cloning technique to make female organs for me. I was basically made entirely, fully, completely female, so I could carry a baby to term." "But ..." Brian couldn't help but glance at Tommi's chest. Tommi saw where he was looking, and smiled. "These? They're side- effects of all the female hormones in my body - and my Ma's genes." "But you look so ... feminine! So beautiful and sexy!" Brian protested. "I ... I have a hard time believing that picture was you." Tommi shrugged. "It's true." "You changed gender, so you could earn money to finish college?" "Basically. But my contract is over in the spring, after I deliver this baby." "And then?" He seemed to deflate at her implication that she wouldn't be Tommi after the baby was born. Tommi shook her head sadly. "And then I don't know. Part of me has gotten used to being a woman. I have a _lot_ of good friends, a wonderful little sister that I've gotten very close to, and a loving almost big sister. But part of me is still Tom Wilson." "Oh." Tommi sighed. "Didn't you ever wonder why I knew so much about sports?" Brian thought a moment. "Yeah, I guess that is a little odd, but ..." he added quickly, "there are girls who are really into sports," Tommi shook her head sadly. "I don't know where I'll be in seven months. I might be Tommi, but I might be Tom. I _can't_ let you get hurt falling for Tommi when Tommi might not even exist after the baby is born." She closed her eyes to try to block the tear that had suddenly formed. "I already hurt one person who fell for me as I am now. I can't do that again." Brian stood, shocked by Tommi's revelation. "I ... I don't know what to say," he finally muttered. "I knew I had to tell you. I'm sorry." She gave him one more glance, then turned and walked into her dorm. She wondered why the corners of her eyes were so moist. Behind her, Brian stood on the sidewalk, staring after her, his mind swamped with confusion as he tried to sort out his reaction to the facts that Tommi had given him. ********** "You okay?" Sara asked as soon as she read the expression on Tommi's face. Sara was sprawled on Tommi's bed, working on a history reading assignment. Sara knew that Katie was probably working at the library - again. Tommi sighed, then put her backpack on her desk and slumped in her chair. "Long day." Sara looked more closely at Tommi's face. "Yeah, so now tell me what's _really_ bothering you." Tommi thought for a bit. "Brian asked me to the Winter Formal." "From what I hear, you'll have a fabulous time!" Sara said, excited at Tommi's prospective date. Tommi shook her head. "I was hoping he wouldn't ask." "But ... don't you kind of like him?" Sara was confused. She shut her book; she knew that this was probably going to be a long sister-to- sister conversation. "I'm not sure," Tommi answered. "I don't really know how I feel about him. I mean, he's a nice guy." "And a good kisser!" Sara interjected. Tommi was startled by her sister's comment, but she lost herself in thought for a moment, recalling Brian's kiss at the Halloween dance. "Yeah," she said softly. "But?" "I had to tell him." Sara's eyes widened. "Everything?" Tommi nodded silently. "How did he react?" Sara asked after a moment. Tommi sighed again. "I don't know. I think he was pretty overwhelmed. He didn't say much when I left." "Aren't you curious about going on a date?" Sara changed the subject. "Even a little bit?" Tommi looked up, one eyebrow raised in puzzlement over her question. "What?" "Aren't you curious?" "Some, I guess." "So why didn't you accept? You could have always explained it to him later, if he gets too serious about you." Tommi shook her head sadly. "He's _already_ too serious about me," she replied. "Yeah, that's true," Sara agreed. "So what are you going to do?" Tommi shrugged. "I can't let him get close, and then break his heart, like I did with Erica." She shook her head, feeling her eyes misting. "I can't break someone else's heart." "Can I ask you a question?" Sara asked timidly. "Sure." "Do _you_ want to stay a woman - after the baby?" Tommi let her head droop, and her eyes closed. Seconds ticked by with agonizing slowness as she contemplated the question. "I ... don't know," she finally answered softly, uncertainly. She shook her head. "I _really_ don't know." "That's what I thought." "I feel so confused!" Tommi blurted. "There's so _much_ that's happened to me in the past year." She looked at Sara, a pleading look in her eyes. "What do _you_ think I should do? Sara hesitated. She knew what _she_ wanted - she wanted Tommi to stay her sister forever. She was close to Tommi, and she hoped that Tommi felt the same about her. But she also knew it wasn't her choice. "It's not my decision," Sara finally answered. Tommi nodded slowly. "But _you_ would like me to stay as Tommi, wouldn't you?" It wasn't so much a question as a statement of fact. Sara's head moved slightly, almost imperceptibly, as she acknowledged the truth of Tommi's comment. "Yeah, I would." She looked up at Tommi, her eyes full of compassion. "You've got a long time until the baby is born," she noted. "And that's a lot of time for you to think about what _you_ want." She changed the subject. "Let me pose a few hypotheticals." "Okay." "First, assume you have the other ... surgery," Sara said. "What would you do? Are there any girls that you would find ... attractive, or interesting?" Tommi tried to laugh. "Jillian is nice. And I ... really like Erica." She saw Sara's eyes widen. "I'm not sure that _she_ would like me as a guy, though." I think that some of the girls here in the dorm would find you very attractive because you understand women a lot better than any other guy ever could. And you're their friend, which would be a good foundation for something more." Tommi considered her words carefully. "I hadn't thought of that," she said softly. "And what if you decided to stay as a woman? What then?" Tommi shook her head. "I haven't thought about _that_, either" she said. Sara raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "You're not fooling me," she cautioned Tommi. A tiny laugh burst from Tommi. "You're right. I've been thinking of that for a while." "Would you settle into a relationship with Erica, maybe?" Sara's query had no judgement, no implication that it would be wrong. It was a simple question. Tommi nodded. "I might. Yeah, I could be very happy with her." "Final hypothetical." "Good. I've got papers to work on." "What if Brian decides that your situation doesn't matter, and he asks you to the dance again anyway?" "Uh," Tommi stammered, shocked at the possibility that she hadn't even considered. "I don't think he'll do that." "What if he does?" Tommi shook her head. "I ... I don't know." "Want a suggestion?" Sara didn't wait for Tommi's answer. "If he does ask, go." "What?" Tommi was astonished at her answer. "If he asks again, go. You like him, at least a little, and it wouldn't hurt for you to 'gather more data', so to speak, about the female experience." Tommi's mouth hung open in shock at her suggestion. "But ... I don't think ...," she stammered, trying to find an answer. "Next you're going to suggest that I try sex as a woman, too!" Sara giggled. "I won't, but a simple date _would_ be a chance to see what it's like to deal with guys in a romantic situation." Tommi thought before she nodded her agreement. "Good point," she noted. "But there's no way Brian is going to get over my past and ask me again." Sara smiled enigmatically. "You might want to have a conversation with Suzie about that situation before you jump to conclusions." ********** Tommi put down her fork; for some reason, she didn't feel like eating. "Dee," she asked hesitantly, "can I ask you something ... personal?" Dee finished chewing the bite she'd taken from her chicken flatbread sandwich. "Sure." "What made you realize that you wanted to stay a woman? That you'd be comfortable living the rest of your life as a woman?" Dee smiled. "You know my story. I don't think it would apply to anyone else." "But ..." "I'm going to guess that you're starting to question your future, aren't you?" Dee speculated. "Yeah," Tommi acknowledged softly. "I feel pretty confused right now. How did you know? What made you realize that you were going to stay a woman?" Dee shook her head. "I didn't have anything to go back to," she said. "There really wasn't a choice for me. Sorry, but I can't help you." Tommi nodded. "I kind of figured, but I had to ask." "I thought you'd already decided," Dee said hesitantly. "You're so ... feminine in everything, you know." Tommi was surprised by Dee's observation. "Really? I ... hadn't noticed." "You've got a lot of feminine mannerisms. The way you walk, the way you sit, your choices of clothes." She smiled. "By the way, I _love_ that outfit! That blouse is so cute, and your skirt really shows off your figure! And those boots are to die for! The way they hug your calves, I bet there isn't a guy around who doesn't love staring at your legs!" "Thanks," Tommi said, trying to sound unenthusiastic even though she blushed at the compliment. "You really thought I'd decided?" A flash of concern crossed Dee's features. "Yeah," she said hesitantly. "I mean, you just seem naturally feminineand comfortable with yourself." "Oh." Tommi sounded disappointed, as if she'd discovered something that she didn't like. "What triggered all this deep thinking?" Dee asked. "Something happened that's got you suddenly all concerned about your future. A couple of months ago, it was pretty much settled. After the second baby, you were going to have the operation and change back." Tommi nodded. "Lots. Sara is the most loving little sister I could imagine. Katie is a fabulous big sister - even though she won't let me borrow her clothes!" she added with a light laugh. "I ... had ..." Tommi blushed, "an affair." "Oh?" "With another girl." Dee's eyebrows raised. "Oh? I take it you found it ... interesting." Tommi dropped her gaze, embarrassed. "It ... just happened," she confessed softly. "And I liked it." "Have you tried, you know, the _other_ way?" Tommi's head snapped up. "You mean, with a guy?" "Yeah." Tommi shook her head. "No. I ... couldn't. It's ...." She tried but failed to suppress a shudder. "It just seems, I don't know. Weird?" Dee laughed. "But I bet you're curious." Tommi's blush gave her away. "A guy asked me to the Winter Formal dance." "Oh. Ohh!" Dee's eyes widened in surprise. "And you're wondering if you should go? And the question you're _not_ asking is whether that might lead you down the path to staying a woman, right?" Tommi nodded. "But I doubt he'll want to take me now. I had to tell him who ... _what_ ... I am." Dee shrugged. "I don't see how it would make much difference to most people. I mean, there are still a few troglodytes that make a big stink about gender changes and lifestyle choices, but I've found that most people are pretty accepting." She smiled. "You never know. He might be okay with the whole thing and ask you anyway." Tommi nodded. "But what do I do if he _does_ ask again?" She shook her head, her brow furrowed with worry. "How should I handle it? I don't know if _I'm_ ready for a date." "You have to go with your instincts, not your brain," Dee advised. "Yeah," Tommi nodded, "that's what my roommate and my sister keep telling me. And Rachel, and most of the girls in the dorm." Dee laughed. "Are you finished with your lunch? Because if you are, I'm ready to go do some shopping." Tommi nodded and gathered the remains of her food. "Sure." The duo threw away their garbage and strode through the mall, heading for Dee's favorite store, the maternity shop. "There's one more thing I'm curious about," Tommi said, as they walked. Dee chuckled. "You're just a curious girl today, aren't you?" "How did you, um, decide when to, you know?" Tommi stammered uneasily. Dee laughed. "You make it sound like I suddenly decided to get laid and began to plot and plan how to make it happen." Tommi blushed. "Sorry." "It just _happened_," Dee continued. "I wasn't planning on anything. I wasn't expecting it. It just _felt_ like it was right." "How does it ... compare?" Dee laughed. "Girlfriend, you're going to have to find that one out for yourself!" ********** "Tommi!" Tommi spun to see who was calling after her. "Wait up!" Brian was trotting down the sidewalk to catch up to Tommi. In no time, he was beside Tommi, though he was a little out of breath from running. "You've been ducking out of your classes too fast. I haven't had a chance to talk to you lately." Tommi's shrug went unseen beneath her heavy jacket. "I got the impression that you were avoiding me," she said softly. "Not that I would blame you if you did," she added in what sounded like a self- pitying tone. "Nah," Brian countered quickly. "I've been a little busy with a programming assignment," he explained. "Why would I want to avoid you?" Tommi lowered her gaze. "After I explained ...." She shook her head. "I figured you'd ..." Brian gently turned Tommi to face him as the two halted in the middle of the sidewalk. "As far as I'm concerned, anyone who can deliver a baby into the world is a woman. Who you _were_ doesn't matter. I like who you _are_." "It's just that ..." Tommi lowered her gaze again. "When I was home, I had a very ... unpleasant encounter," she said quietly. "And I've had a few ... incidents on campus." She shook her head. "I ... figured you'd ... think the same." "I spent a little time researching the Morris Foundation, and the procedures you've had," he continued. "The whole organ cloning process is really fascinating! I didn't realize how complicated it is!" He sounded like a nerd in a technical library. "No wonder you're interested in bioengineering!" "Brian," Tommi tried to interrupt. "I wanted to know more about what you're experiencing," Brian continued. "Brian," Tommi tried again. "I've got to get to my next class." "Oh, yeah." He took a deep breath. Tommi could tell he was nervous. "I would be honored if you would accompany me to the Winter Formal," he said, his voice about to crack. Tommi sighed. "You don't know what my future holds," Tommi explained. "Neither do I. I don't want to hurt you." "Would you please let _me_ worry about that?" Brian pleaded. "I want to get to know you _now_. You're sweet. You're smart, you're beautiful. You have so _much_ going for you. I can't help but want to spend time with you!" Tommi closed her eyes as she thought. She recalled her conversations with Dee and with Sara. She pondered what she'd learned from Suzie and Rachel. She contemplated all the discussions with the girls, her friends, in the dorm. "Okay," she said as she opened her eyes. "Okay." Brian grinned, then he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Tommi, and he kissed her enthusiastically. It wasn't a quick kiss. Brian was putting his heart into his gesture of happiness. Tommi felt herself melting as, involuntarily, her arms lifted to encircle Brian's shoulders. For a brief moment, she realized that they were in the middle of campus, on a busy sidewalk, with students scurrying past them to get to classes. She _knew_ some of them were staring at the spectacle she and Brian were making. And she realized that a big part of her didn't care. ********** "How was your day?" Katie asked simply as Tommi slumped onto her bed. "Busy, as usual. Getting ready for finals sucks." She sighed heavily. "And I'm afraid my car is about to die. I didn't think it was going to start when I was ready come home from the clinic. The engine sounds terrible!" "I know what it's like to get stranded," Christine chimed in. "All you have to do is ask, if you need to borrow my car." Christine and Diane were sitting on Katie's bed, and Sara was occupying Tommi's chair, which was why Tommi was sprawled on her bed. There was a quick knock on the door, and before anyone could answer, Kim and Ashley came in. Kim saw how many were already in the room, and just plopped on the floor beside Tommi's bed. Ashley sat on the edge of Katie's bed after Diane scooted to make room. "What's up?" she asked cheerfully. Christine shrugged. "Thinking about what to do Friday night," she replied. "Pizza?" Ashley suggested, a twinkle in her eye. "Nah," Sara replied with a disgusted look. "That's getting old. Is anyone going to the big dance?" "Nope," Ashley replied. "Not me." Diane glanced around. "You mean I'm the only one with a date?" The other girls nodded, a few with mischievous smiles, but Tommi was strangely quiet. Katie noticed. "You didn't say much," she said directly to Tommi. "Nah," Tommi muttered, trying to stay out of the conversation. Katie and Sara were instantly suspicious. "That sounds like ... an unusual denial," Sara said slowly. "I ... wasn't really paying attention," Tommi lied. "What are you guys talking about?" No one in the room bought her half-hearted fib. "Okay, Tommi," Katie began, "what's the story?" Tommi shrugged. "Nothing, really." Sara's eyes widened. "He _did_ ask you again!" Ashley and Katie both read Tommi's expression. "And you're going?" Ashley asked with a squeal of delight. "You're going to the dance?" Tommi felt her cheeks burning. She had _hoped_ to keep the date a secret. "It's no big deal," she tried to downplay the event. "No big deal?" Diane asked, stunned at the way Tommi was trying to characterize the dance. "It's only the biggest non-Greek event of the semester!" she exclaimed. "Tommi, you've got a date?" Sara seemed delighted. "I _knew_ he'd ask you!" "Who is it?" Kim asked. "Is it that guy from your classes?" "Brian," Sara answered before Tommi could. "He's kind of a ... nerd, isn't he?" Diane said cautiously, not wanting to hurt Tommi's feelings. Sara rose to her sister's defense. "I think he's okay," she countered. "He's smart, he's polite, and he's _very_ nice." "And he's totally ga-ga over Tommi," Ashley added. "Oh," Kim put the pieces together. "He's the one you ...." "Yes, that's him," Tommi said gruffly, a scowl on her face as she interrupted Kim and cut off further words. That kiss was supposed to be a private event. "Oooh," Diane and Ashley cooed together. "Looks like you're in for a hot date!" Tommi shook her head, sighing. "I'm just going to a dance, okay? Can we please drop it?" Katie laughed. "And we all know that _those_ words mean there's more you _aren't_ telling us." "Did he kiss you again?" Kim asked playfully. Tommi's beet-red cheeks betrayed the answer. "I'm just going to the formal with Brian, okay?" "What are you going to wear?" Sara changed the subject. "I don't think you have a suitable dress." The girls squealed with delight. "Shopping trip!" they called in unison. Tommi groaned inwardly as the girls 'escorted' her out of her room toward her car. She knew that a shopping trip was going to be a long, tedious exercise in patience. ********** Brian's eyes were nearly popping from their sockets as Tommi came into the dorm lobby. "Wow!" he exclaimed softly. To Brian's eyes, Tommi was a vision of lovliness. Her long black dress, strapless and daring, clung tightly to her curves, flared around her hips, and hung in a tight knee-length skirt with a side-slit that showed off her sexy legs when she moved. She wore black heels, and carried a matching black clutch purse. A wrap on her shoulders completed the wardrobe with a bit of feigned modesty and hint of protection from the cool winter weather. Her silver earrings, three dangling concentric hoops of different sizes, flitted into and out of vision as her long wavy hair swirled with her every motion. Tired of being blonde, she'd dyed her hair back to her natural color. She made a stunning brunette. Tommi's lips glistened with crimson lipstick, inviting and sexy, adding the perfect touch to her perfectly-applied makeup. "Wow!" Brian said again. "Look at you!" Tommi smiled demurely. "You look nice, yourself." Brian shrugged self-consciously. "I look like a bum compared to you," he said. In fact, he didn't. He wore a rented tuxedo, and he looked quite dapper. He offered Tommi his arm. "Shall we go?" "Not yet," Sara complained as she pulled out her camera. "I want some pictures first." Christine, Ashley, and Kim, each waiting with her own date, heartily agreed. "Let's all get some pictures with these hot dates of ours," Kim said, giggling. Tommi blushed, but the other girls egged her on, so Tommi acceded to their request. After the photos, the couples headed to their cars. Brian paused at the door to help Tommi put on her coat. Even that, he noted, didn't detract at all from Tommi's beauty. Her coat was black, like her dress, very stylish, and it fit her tightly. Even through the thick coat, Tommi's figure was striking. Acting the part of the perfect gentleman, Brian opened the car door for her. For dinner before the dance, they went to a nice French restaurant, where Tommi felt like she was overdressed, but Brian seemed proud of being Tommi's date. It was almost like he was showing off a trophy. The odd thing to Tommi was that she didn't seem to mind. Brian was proving to be very pleasant company. The dance was surprisingly pleasant to Tommi. Held in the auditorium of the theater arts building, it reminded Tommi of the stories she'd always heard about big-city proms. The room was very tastefully decorated, with a winter theme, and a live 50's style swing band played a delightful assortment of music for dancing. Tommi smiled to herself at the comparison; in a way, it _was_ her prom. The best part was that every person there had a date, and she didn't have to worry about predatory guys wanting a dance. Or more. She could relax with Brian. And relax she did. When they weren't dancing, they were talking. But Tommi danced a lot. She'd forgotten how much fun dancing was. The slow dances were the most enjoyable. Tommi found, with each dance, that she was holding Brian closer, resting her head on his shoulder, while he fell deeper and deeper under the influence of her intoxicating perfume. She smiled to herself at Sara's insistence on the perfume. She slowly realized that she was glad Sara had spritzed her with the scent. Much to Tommi's dismay, the dance eventually ended with one final slow dance. Tommi felt herself holding Brian after the music had ended, as if she could will the dance to go on forever. As the lights in the ballroom came up, Tommi looked up, still holding Brian tightly. "I think that's the signal that we need to go." Tommi nodded sadly. "I know." "I guess we should go." "Yeah." Tommi lifted herself on her toes, her arms around Brian's shoulders, and pulled him down to her lips. They met in a kiss, a long, passionate kiss that went on and on, and Tommi felt herself being swept away. After what seemed an eternity, Brian broke the kiss. "I think everyone is staring," he commented as he glanced around. "Let them,' Tommi countered as she tried to pull Brian back for more kissing. Brian held firm. "We really should be going." Sadly, Tommi let herself be escorted from the floor. After retrieving their coats, Tommi and Brian walked to the valet parking station. Brian seemed embarrassed when they brought his car around, since most of the cars were newer and in a lot better shape than his own car. His Camry seemed out of place. Not only was it not sporty, but the paint was faded and bland. After holding the door so Tommi could get in, Brian walked around to the driver's side. The valet glance Tommi's direction, raising his eyebrows appreciatively. "Dude, a little hint," he said softly to Brian. "Yeah?" "Get a car that's worthy of your date, man." Brian smiled. He _knew_ that Tommi was a knockout, and he was very glad that he was with her. Not that he cared about the social plus of being seen with a girl as pretty as Tommi; he really wasn't in the social status game. He just liked Tommi - and it showed. "What do you want to do now?" Brian asked as he pulled the car onto the street. Tommi sighed contentedly. "I wish the dance had gone on all night." Brian smiled; he was thinking the same. "We'd be pretty exhausted by morning, though." "I'd rather not go straight back to my dorm," Tommi found herself saying. Part of her couldn't believe she was hoping to spend more time with Brian. "Maybe coffee and dessert? There are a few 24-hour restaurants that are open." Tommi wondered if Brian had any clue what she was trying to suggest. "That sounds nice." She didn't add, "and safe," but she definitely thought it. It was a short drive to the restaurant; Brian seemed to know exactly where he was going. "I think you planned ahead for this, didn't you?" Tommi asked, curious. Brian nodded sheepishly. " Yeah," he admitted. "I ... like to plan ahead." "How many other options did you plan, in case I wasn't interested in coffee and dessert?" Brian blushed. "A few." "Such as?" Tommi pressed. Brian parked the car, quickly got out, and opened Tommi's door, offering his hand to help steady her, as she climbed out. Still the gentleman, he offered her his arm as they walked into the restaurant. As late as it was, the restaurant wasn't busy, and they were seated immediately. Tommi felt conspicuous in her formal dress, but the other patrons didn't seem to notice. As she glanced around, she noted a three other couples from the dance. Very quickly, the waitress took their drink orders. "You didn't answer," Tommi said with a smile. "What were your 'contingency plans'?" Brian shrugged. "I figured it was too cold to go walking the park, or to sit and talk by the fountains outside the student center," he admitted. "And I didn't figure you'd want to go to a late movie." "So what _was_ your plan? Going back to your room for a little make- out?" Tommi tried to sound like she was joking. Brian paled and his jaw dropped open. "Uh, no!" he stammered emphatically. "I ... that is ... you ...." He shook his head. "That didn't' seem ... appropriate! I mean, you're ... so nice, and ...." Tommi smiled and put her hand on Brian's atop the table. "That was a _joke_! I know that you didn't want me to think that you were just a guy on the prowl, right?" Brian looked visibly relieved. "I ... I'm not ...." He shook his head again, trying to figure out what to say. "I'm sorry if I seem nervous," he finally blurted. "It's just that, well, I haven't had a lot of dates, and, I don't want you to think badly of me." Tommi smiled. "How could I think badly of you, when you've been such a ... gentleman, and a friend?" Brian sighed with relief. "I'm ... just a simple Midwestern farm boy, and I was raised to treat girls with respect," he explained. "Farm boy?" Tommi smiled. "I've heard lots of stories of farm boys ... and hay lofts. Where exactly are you from?" "A small farming town in South Dakota," Brian replied quickly. The conversation was back on safe ground. "I doubt you've ever heard of it. Nobody has." "How small?" "About eight hundred people. It's really nice, though," he added defensively. "You know everyone, and it feels ... comfortable." Tommi laughed. "I know the feeling. Where I came from ... is about three thousand people." It was obvious that she was trying to avoid the word 'home'. "Farming?" Tommi shook her head; a hint of grief clouded her eyes. "Mining, mostly. West Virginia, in coal country." She took a sip of coffee, just as the waitress came to take their orders. Tommi glanced at the menu again. "I think I'll splurge and have a slice of the raspberry cheesecake," she said to the waitress. She turned to Brian. "Dr. Tina - from the clinic - she's going to have me in the gym for _hours_ for this!" she giggled. "I'll have the same," Brian said with a smile. The waitress scurried back to the kitchen. "I didn't live on a farm, but I spent a lot of time working on farms," Brian continued to talk about his background. "My dad was a high school teacher. A lot of the other teachers were farmers' wives, so I got _volunteered_ a lot to help out." Tommi took another sip. "Sounds interesting." "Not really. Especially when you're feeding cattle in a blizzard in February," he retorted. "Then it's just miserably hard work." "How did you end up down here? Seems kind of far away." "I got a pretty good scholarship," Brian replied. "So I took the chance. There are a couple of good colleges back home, but I wanted to try something a little different." Tommi sighed. "I know what you mean. There weren't a lot of opportunities close to where I lived." Once more, she avoided the word 'home'. "Do you live in the dorms?" Brian shook his head. "I was in the dorm my freshman year. Now I live in an apartment just off campus. The one big plus is not having a commute to and from school. It makes it a lot more convenient to do labs or get to the library." Tommi laughed "Labs and library. Spoken like a true hard-core nerd!" The waitress returned with their desserts. "Two raspberry cheesecakes," she echoed the order as she put the plates down. "Anything else, hun?" Tommi shook her head, smiling. "This is bad enough for my diet." "I think we're okay for now," Brian answered the waitress, who smiled and darted away to take care of other customers. "I don't understand why you wanted to ask _me_," Tommi mused. Brian grinned. "I couldn't help wanting to take you. You cast your spell over me practically from the first time I saw you." Tommi blushed. "You make it sound like I'm some kind of enchantress. You don't even know a lot about me - like what kind of music I like, or what my favorite foods are, or ... anything!" "Okay," Brian rebutted with a grin. "What is your favorite music?" Tommi laughed. "I've enchanted you so much that I direct your conversation, too? Wow! I didn't realize I had it in me." Brian smiled. "Believe me, you're a very bewitching woman. And you haven't answered my question." Tommi blushed again. "I used to listen to a lot of country music, but lately, it just isn't the same. I don't know why, but I just don't get into it as much." Tommi was certain that Brian wasn't just engaged in flattery. She was sure he _really_ wanted to know. Brian laughed. "I never really got into country. I've always liked ... different music." "Define different." "Parodies like Weird Al. Older rock. Some classical, some jazz [band - not needed] and swing band. I played trumpet in my high school band, so I really like the big-band and swing band sounds. As to the other sorts, well, everyone always said I was ... different." The conversation went on and on, the time passing so quickly that neither Brian nor Tommi were aware that it was after four in the morning, even though the waitress refilled their coffee cups more than once. Tommi eventually had to make a visit to the restroom, and, as she turned, she spied a clock. "Oh, wow!" she exclaimed softly. "I didn't know it was this late!" Brian glanced at his watch and grimaced. "I didn't notice, either," he apologized quickly. "I guess I should take you home," Brian said sadly. "It's pretty late." Tommi nodded. "Yeah. I've got to get some study time this weekend to try to get ahead for finals. I've got a couple of papers due, too." After paying the bill, Brian escorted Tommi to his car and drove back to campus. He parked in a visitor's parking spot near her dorm, leaving the car running, and turned toward Tommi. "Thank you for going with me," he said simply. Tommi smiled. "Thank you for inviting me. It was nice. I had a good time." Brian squirmed uneasily, leaning a bit toward Tommi, but he hesitated; clearly he wasn't sure how far he should press things. Tommi showed him by leaning toward him, lifting her arms to his shoulders and pulling him closer, as her lips rose toward his. Fifteen minutes later, Brian escorted Tommi to the door of her dorm. She felt like she was walking on air. Brian gave her one more quick kiss in the dorm lobby, then turned and walked back out into the cold night air. Tommi sighed contentedly as she walked up the stairs and down the hall. As quietly as possible, she opened the door, so as not to awaken Katie. "You're late," Katie whispered as Tommi slipped out of her dress. Tommi sighed. "I was trying not to wake you up." Katie laughed. "Did you honestly think I was going to get any sleep, while my little sister was out on her first date?" Tommi smiled to herself. She liked the sound of "little sister" coming from Katie; the words made her safe and loved. "I suppose not." "So, how was it?" Tommi slipped on her nightgown. "It was ... nice," she purred. "I had fun." "And afterwards? I mean, the dance ended at twelve-thirty." Tommi grabbed her toothbrush. "I'll be right back." "And I'll be waiting for you to answer my question," Katie replied. ********** "Tommi," Rachel's question came back to what seemed to be her favorite topic, "how are you feeling today?" Tommi wrinkled her nose. "It's okay, I guess. I mean, for the time being," she added quickly. "But I'm still Tom inside." Rachel's eyebrows raised. "Are you?" "Huh? Have you been talking to Dee?" Rachel looked like kid caught with a hand in the cookie jar. "Guilty," she admitted. "Don't blame Dee; it's part of the mentor's job to keep me informed. You know that." "Yeah. Sometimes, I forget how extensive your network of spies is." "Don't change the subject," Rachel warned, still smiling. "Look at you. Your jeans are tight and very girlish. Your blouse is, well, to be frank, rather sexy. Your posture, your mannerisms - you're quite feminine right now. I've been noticing for the past few weeks, and I figured we're past due for this talk." "Huh?" Tommi shook her head. "But ... I'm still Tom. Aren't I?" The last question sounded very uncertain, as if Tommi herself wasn't quite sure. "You've adapted to living as a woman very well. But how much is because the girls you've become friends with - or your sister, for that matter - want you to fit in versus _you_ wanting to fit in." Tommi leaned back in the chair, letting her head rest against the back of the chair. She stared at the ceiling for a while. "I don't know," she said. She looked at Rachel. "You know, I should be really getting into the football season stats," she said with a grimace, "but I'm not. I should be embarrassed as hell about getting gyno exams, but I'm not." "You told me you let Brian kiss you at the Halloween dance, right?" Tommi nodded. "And again, the other day, when he asked me to the winter formal, and I accepted." Rachel's eyebrows lifted at Tommi's revelation. "Did you enjoy the dance?" Tommi started to deny it, then paused. She knew Rachel would see through her lies if she did deny the truth. Rachel was good at that. She looked down, feeling her cheeks flush. "Yeah." "But part of you didn't. Tom is still inside, still a part of you. You're naturally confused. Anyone would be." She paused for a moment. "Tell me, does being attracted to a man scare you because you're afraid that when you change back, you'll be gay?" Tommi nodded slowly. "Yeah." Rachel noted significant hesitation in Tommi's response. "But?" Tommi sighed, feeling very conflicted. How she felt about her date was private, wasn't it? Was it something she should share with her counselor? It was affecting her; she hadn't slept well for the past two nights. She quickly decided that Rachel needed to know. "After the dance, he kissed me again." Rachel read Tommi's tone. There was a lot more that she hadn't yet said, things on her mind that needed to be coaxed from her. "And then?" Tommi shook her head. "We went out for late dessert, and talked a long time. When he took me back to the dorm, we kissed some more." "You know," Rachel interjected, "it's very common for people in your situation to, um, experiment," she tried to sound clinical and dispassionate. "It doesn't mean you're good, or bad, or going to stay female. It's just normal curiosity." She saw Tommi look up at her, with a guilty expression. "We just kissed," Tommi replied defensively. "At some point, if you keep dating, you may find yourself going ... further," Rachel observed calmly. "I feel like I'm changing inside, whether I want to or not," Tommi protested softly. "You _are_ changing," Rachel confirmed in a gentle tone. "We _all_ change, all the time. It's part of life." "But ... I was kissing a guy!" Tommi countered. "And I liked it ... kind of. I was the one who ... started some of the kisses." She shook her head sadly. "I feel ... confused - like it should be gay, but ...." She let her head loll to one side as she stared at the wall. "What about the part of me that's still Tom?" Tommi asked softly. "I'm losing Tom, aren't I? Who I am is changing, and I'm powerless to stop it!" Rachel grimaced inwardly. "I would imagine that you feel pretty conflicted right now. You find that part of you is still attracted to girls, and part of you was very curious and even a bit attracted to Brian, right?" Tommi nodded silently. "If you're normal, you're worrying that you're going to like sex as a woman so much that you'll stay a girl, and even become a promiscuous little slut, lesbian or straight, right?" Rachel noted Tommi's reaction. "You're still attracted to Erica, aren't you?" Tommi nodded. "Yeah," she admitted in a half-whisper. "And you're afraid that you'll feel gay if you change back to being a guy, right?" Another nod from Tommi confirmed Rachel's supposition. "The fact is, that if you stay a girl, you have the option of keeping your former attraction to girls and living your life as a lesbian, or of being straight, in which case you'll actually have an advantage in bed, because you knew what it was like for guys. If you change back, you'll be a lot better lover, because even if you haven't experienced making love as a woman, you still know how to arouse a woman's body." Tommi stared at Rachel silently, the gears in her mind turning slowly, as she processed Rachel's words. "But there's one thing you _must_ remember. If you think back to the psychological test we did when you applied, didn't you think it odd that we included a lot of questions about your feelings of sexuality?" "I hadn't thought of that," Tommi answered softly. "We _know_ the basic character of all of our clients. We _have_ to know. It wouldn't do to have a facilitator carry a baby and then infect it with an STD because they were overly promiscuous, would it?" Tommi thought for a moment, then shook her head. "I guess not." "Based on your answers, it is _very_ unlikely that you're going to turn into some kind of sex-starved whore if you got curious once," Rachel said reassuringly. "But that still doesn't help with how you feel right now about a simple date, or your fears of what might happen if you continue dating, does it?" Tommi sighed. "That's the understatement of the century." She wiped at a tear. "I'm so confused," she confessed. "I ... don't know what I am any more." Rachel nodded. "I know you're not going to believe me," she began, "but you are perfectly normal. This _is_ very confusing for most people. In fact, I've only had two clients who _weren't_ confused." "Like Dee." Rachel showed surprise at Tommi's comment. "Yes," she answered. "Like Dee. You need to know that your hormones are helping confuse you right now. That happens with _every_ client like you..." "Former guys." "Temporary girls," Rachel corrected him. "Temporary girls who are pregnant. You aren't used to the heavy load of female hormones, so you're _more_ vulnerable emotionally. But it will seem less confusing after you deliver your baby. Trust me." ********** (to be continued)