Operation Rescue - The New Co-Ed; Chapter 26 free porn video

Operation Rescue: The New Co-Ed By ElrodW A young man gets in trouble and loses his scholarship. It looks like his dream of college to escape a poor future is doomed - until he sees an ad recruiting "surrogates". His life is about to change in ways that he could have never imagined. Chapter 26 - Sisters The second year is almost over, and summer plans are being revealed. Sara and Tommi still have some serious issues to confront as they try to mend their relationship. The "Operation Rescue" story universe and characters contained therein are copyright 2012 by ElrodW, all rights reserved. Use of the story universe or characters without the express written permission of the owner is a violation of copyright law. ********************************************************************** Tommi suddenly lifted her head off Brian's shoulder and turned toward him. "Would you please stop fidgeting," she whispered. "How am I supposed to feel comfortable and relaxed when you're squirming all over the place?" "Sorry," Brian apologized in a hushed voice. Like Tommi, he didn't want to disturb the other patrons of the movie. "I guess I've got a few things on my mind." Tommi lifted her head and kissed his cheek. "I thought you were supposed to be thinking _only_ about me," she pouted softly. "Maybe that's the problem," Brian countered. "Maybe I'm worrying too much about 'what ifs' and what your future holds, now that you've had the baby." "Shhh!" Someone behind them firmly indicated his displeasure with Tommi and Brian's conversation. "Sorry," Brian whispered an apology over his shoulder. Tommi took the initiative and wrapped Brian's arm around her shoulder. Then she nestled her head back against his shoulder and chest, while she took his free hand in one of her hands. Tommi knew instantly that Brian was nervous and tense. Still, she'd come prepared; she was wearing that wonderful perfume whose aroma wove an intoxicating spell around Brian every time she wore it. By moving her head a little bit, she made sure that Brian couldn't avoid its sweet vapors. It seemed to be working; for the rest of the movie, Brian seemed to relax. Once the movie was over, however, his nervousness came back. As they exited the theater, Brian's posture was stiff, his movements wooden. As Brian buckled his seat belt, Tommi decided to take some initiative. "Brian," she pleaded, "are you going to be like this all night?" "Sorry," Brian apologized in an unconvincing tone. "Should I take you back to your dorm?" Tommi shook her head. "How about some coffee and dessert?" she suggested. A few minutes later, they were seated in their favorite all-night restaurant, and they had ordered." "Brian," Tommi said softly, "there's something I need to tell you." Brian stiffened visibly. "Oh?" he asked, his voice cracking as he anticipated bad news. "It's not bad news. At least," Tommi corrected herself, "you should find part of it very good news." "So it's a good news, bad news thing?" Tommi sighed. "I guess it depends upon your point of view." She paused, trying to figure how to say what she intended to say. "There's something you've really wanted since we started dating. At least one of your wishes is coming true." Brian's eyes widened. "You mean you're ..." Tommi nodded. "Tommi Sue is staying," she said bluntly. "I've decided not to change back." "So that means ...?" Brian was happy, but still uneasy. He was waiting for the bad news. "It means that you have a chance," Tommi answered. "But there are ... complications." "Such as?" "I'm not sure of my sexuality," Tommi explained cautiously. "And," she looked down at her cup, "you really hurt me when you kissed Sara." Brian nodded slowly as he sighed. "I know," he said, resigned to possibly losing Tommi over that one mistake. "I shouldn't have taken her out to dinner, and I certainly shouldn't have let her kiss me." He hung his head in shame at his mistake, knowing that he'd really damaged their fragile relationship. "I wish there was some way I could undo all that mess." The silence between them was awkward. Brian wanted to hear Tommi say that she forgave him. Tommi wasn't sure _what_ to say; she was afraid that if she spoke, her hurt or anger would come out again, creating more problems. After a few moments, a thought occurred to Brian. "Does that mean you were jealous?" Tommi looked up sharply, staring at Brian for a few seconds, before she resumed her study of her half-empty coffee cup. Her head nodded slowly. "Yeah," she admitted, "I guess - a little bit." "So ..." Brian stopped, unwilling to speculate further. "I guess ... I like you more than I've ever admitted before. I guess I ... love you ... some." The last words were a faint mumble. Brian _did_ hear the words. He started to smile, but he saw Tommi's posture, and he had heard the tone of her voice. "But?" Tommi shook her head. "But I don't know." She looked up, directly into Brian's eyes. "I'm not sure if I'm straight or gay," she said softly. "Sometimes, being with you feels so right and so natural, but sometimes, I feel attracted to girls." She shook her head sadly. "I can't commit until I know." "Is that why you're dating Erica?" Brian asked slowly, his voice echoing the anguish in his heart that he had a serious rival for Tommi's love. Surprise showed in Tommi's eyes. "You ... know?" Brian nodded. "I suspected for a while, and, the other night, when I stopped by the dorm to see if you might want to go out for a walk, I saw you coming home with Erica." Tommi nodded, her eyes starting to leak tears. "I ... care for both of you," she admitted. "I _love_ both of you as dear friends. And more." She wiped the tears from her eyes, a futile gesture against her sorrow. "I have to know which way I am most comfortable. I need to know _who_ I am." She looked down again, tears still trickling down her cheeks. "I know one of you is going to get hurt," she said softly. "I can't help it that you both fell in love with me." Brian turned away quickly, and Tommi saw him lift his hand to his face. She _knew_ that he had shed at least one tear over her. "I'm trying hard to understand," he said when he turned back to face her. Tommi wiped at more of her own tears. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "Sometimes, when I think that I'm going to hurt you, I wish I'd have never had the procedure in the first place. That way, you would have never met me, and you wouldn't have fallen in love, and I wouldn't be hurting you." She wiped her cheeks again. "This isn't fair to you," she cried. Something inside Brian felt great sympathy at her anguish. She _did_ love him, of that he was suddenly quite certain. She was more concerned over how her actions hurt _him_ than of her own pain. Brian reached a sympathetic hand across the table to take Tommi's, to offer some comfort to her, in the same way she wished to comfort him. "I'm not giving up on you," Brian said. "I love you, and I'm not giving up on you. I know that you _need_ to date Erica and me both to better understand yourself." He shook his head. "No matter how much I want to be, I can't be selfish and ask you to commit before you know. I can't hurt _you_ by asking you to choose before you're ready." "You're so sweet," Tommi said as she looked into his eyes. "You're so thoughtful and caring. You don't deserve the kind of trouble I'm causing you." Brian tried to smile, to cut through the sadness. "This could all work out great, if, maybe, Erica is bi." Tommi laughed through her tears at his wildly absurd proposition. "You could always ask her." Brian's eyes widened. "No, thanks," he said quickly. "I heard how she treated a guy on Spring Break." Tommi laugh sounded odd through her sob. "That was just Sara's wild story." Brian shook his head. "I'm not going to take a chance. If you're done with your dessert, too, maybe I should take you back to your dorm?" Tommi nodded. "Yeah," she answered. "Or we could take a nice moonlit stroll around the fountains, and maybe sit under the stars for a bit." Brian smiled. "You _are_ a romantic." "One of my faults, I guess." "It's one of the many things I like about you." Brian stood and offered his hand to Tommi. "And I like the idea of a moonlit stroll. Anything to spend more time with you." ********** The girls were sprawled around Tommi's room, as was customary, having their Thursday night bull session. Even Katie joined in, since the semester was winding down, and she was, for once, ahead on her projects and papers. Christine seemed a bit down. "Finals start next week," she announced needlessly. The reaction was far from positive. "Why'd you have to remind us?" Ashley pouted. "Oh, like it's suddenly a state secret, and nobody's supposed to know?" Christine defended herself. "It's just ... another school year almost done." "Yeah," Katie echoed. "I'm going to stay here this summer. I've got an internship at the Morris clinic, and then I start on my Master's degree in the fall." "You're a glutton for punishment," Erica said with a laugh. "Isn't one degree enough?" Katie smiled. "At least, I'll be around to help Sara this summer." Kim thought for a moment. "You're due in ... October?" she asked Sara. Sara shook her head. "Early November." Linda whistled. "You're going through the summer pregnant? Girl, I'm glad I'm _not_ in your shoes!" Sara shrugged. "I'll be okay. I'll be taking summer school while I'm here, so that'll keep me inside most of the day." Tommi sighed. "I'm going to miss all the fun. I'm going home to take a summer off. I still need time to rest and get my strength back." Katie laughed. "You just want to lounge around the pool and have Mom wait on you hand and foot all summer!" "You're just jealous," Tommi rebutted. After more discussion of summer plans, Katie glanced at Tommi. "Don't you have something you need to say?" she asked Tommi. Tommi glanced around. All eyes were focused on her. Everyone's curiosity had been piqued, and they all wondered what the new announcement was. All the girls had been betting on whether Tommi would stay, or whether Tom would return. Strangely, Ashley had been the most insistent, or hopeful, depending on how one looked at it, that Tom would return. When pressed late one night, Ashley confessed to Sara that she was hoping Tommi would go back to being Tom. He'd learned so much about being a woman that he'd be the ideal guy. As a guy, Tom would be very sensitive to the needs of his girlfriend or wife. Sara laughed; she accused Ashley of trying to plot to get Tom as a boyfriend. All Ashley could do was to admit that it was her hope and dream. Tommi looked uneasy at having to speak. "I've been spending a lot of time considering my future after I had the second baby," she said. "With everything that was going on, I kind of forgot to tell anybody. Especially after ...." She paused, looking at the floor, while memories of the emergency flashed through her brain. After a couple of awkward seconds, she looked up. "Anyway, I decided, and Tom isn't coming back - ever. I'm Tommi Sue forever." For a few seconds, the girls pondered her words, wondering with shocked expressions if they'd heard her correction. Erica was grinning, since she already knew what Tommi had decided. "You mean ... you're staying Tommi?" Ashley finally blurted. She sounded disappointed. "Yes," Tommi confirmed, grinning from ear to ear. "I'm Tommi, now and forever!" After a whole bunch of happy tears and hugs, Christine's curiosity got the better of her. "When did you decide?" "Just before Spring Break," Tommi said. "And you didn't tell us?" Linda exclaimed with faux pain in her voice. "Things got pretty hectic," Tommi confessed sheepishly. "I was pretty busy, after all. And I didn't quite know how to tell you all." Ashley noticed Erica's grin. "You knew!" she accused Erica. "You knew, and _you_ didn't tell us, either!" Erica laughed. "I only found out the other night," she explained, "and I was sworn to secrecy." "A little 'pillow talk', huh?" Kim joked, and then had to dodge real pillows thrown by both Tommi and Erica. "So what happens? For your future, I mean?" Tommi shrugged, a thin smile on her lips. "Job opportunities for female engineers are better than for men. It's actually a benefit. The clinic and Dad's lawyers are handling all the paperwork to make it legal and permanent. Within a month or two, I'll be permanently, completely, legally Tommi Sue Snyder." Katie smiled and gave her sister a hug. "I really like the sound of that - Tommi Sue Snyder. I'm so glad you decided to change your name, too." "Wow!" Dianne commented. "Talk about a busy semester! You decide to stay a girl, you get adopted, you have the baby the hard way, and you're changing your name!" "When did you have any time for studying?" Ashley joked. Tommi looked at Sara. "I think Sara has an announcement, too." Sara glowered at Tommi for putting her on the spot. "We're _both_ having our names legally changed. Once the paperwork is done, I'll be Sara Louise Snyder." She received the congratulations well, considering that she felt upstaged by Tommi. ********** "Katie, are you still awake?" Tommi called softly. "Yeah," Katie answered. "Was it my imagination, or was Sara upset tonight?" Katie sighed. "You _did_ put her on the spot." "I just wanted to share a special moment with our friends," Tommi protested. Katie propped herself on one elbow, staring across the darkened room toward Tommi's bed. "You _could_ have had one announcement about staying Tommi," she began, "and let Sara have the spotlight about the name change." Tommi winced at Katie's words. "I suppose," she muttered. "Don't take this wrong," Katie said hesitantly, "but when you get excited about something, you tend to get diarrhea of the mouth." "Do I?" Tommi asked after thinking for a moment. "I know I get excited, but ...." "You could have let Sara tell the news about your name changes. You might have let her be in the spotlight over _that_ one, so she doesn't feel like she's always in your shadow." "Does she feel like that? Did she tell you?" Tommi asked softly. Katie shrugged, a gesture unseen in the dark room. "I don't know. I'm just telling you what she _might_ think. It's what I'd feel if I were in her shoes." "I didn't think of that," Tommi said. "Maybe you need to kick me or something to get me to stop talking." "Or something," Katie chuckled. "Now let's get to sleep. We've both got early tests tomorrow." "One more thing." "What is it?" Katie sounded exasperated at Tommi's need to talk this late. "Ashley seemed ... disappointed, didn't she?" Tommi suggested. "Yeah, I noticed that." "I wonder why? She and I were great friend and great roommates last summer. I thought she'd be as happy as everyone else." "Maybe you should talk to her," Katie replied. Tommi frowned. "You know something, don't you?" Katie debated herself on playing dumb, or pleading that it was too late. In the end, she realized that Tommi wouldn't shut up, until Katie told what she knew. "Ashley had a crush on you." "I don't get it. She's straight." Katie laughed softly. "It's not like that. I think she really likes you as a friend, and she was hoping that you'd change back." Tommi's eyes were wide with surprise. "You mean ...?" "Yeah. If you _had_ changed back, I think you'd have found her pursuing you for romantic purposes." Tommi wrinkled her nose in a mixture of disgust and bewilderment. "That's ... weird!" Katie laughed again. "Think about it. If you _had_ changed back, you'd be probably the best guy in the world at understanding and being sensitive to women. You've proven that you like children, and she _is_ very interested in being a mother. And you and Ashley are already friends, which would be a good basis for a romantic relationship." "Oh." Tommi thought for a moment. "I suppose that makes sense in a kind of strange way." She thought again. "Why is it that I keep hurting people who get too close to me?" "You're just a very likeable person, and people fall in love with you. There's nothing you can do about it." ********** One bright June day, early in the summer semester, Sara felt a peculiar twinge in her abdomen as she sat down on the toilet. Almost immediately, she realized that it was something to do with the pregnancy, something that she'd never experienced before. The spotted blood on the tissue paper truly got her attention. She immediately cleaned herself, and then after washing her hands quickly, hurried down the hall. Ashley drove her to the clinic in record time. Dr. Tina did an ultrasound, and a pelvic exam. She did some blood work, as well. At the end of all the testing, Sara was confined to bed rest in the clinic while she got some hormone shots to stabilize her pregnancy. It didn't help. The next day, Sara miscarried. ********** "Thanks for stopping by," Sara said as she lay in her bed. The clinic was normally a very happy place; this was one of the rare exceptions. Brian smiled. "I thought you'd like to see a friendly face," he said. From behind his back, he produced a vase of bright, summery flowers and placed it on her bedside table. "And I thought some color might help brighten your day." Sara looked at the flowers, and she felt a tear well up in the corner of her eye. "Thanks," she said softly. "I wish Tommi was here," Brian said simply. "She's a lot better at listening and helping than I am." Sara gave a half-hearted laugh. "And here I thought you were to talk about _me_, not about how much you miss _her_." Brian seemed surprised. "I didn't figure that she would be an appropriate subject right now," he explained quickly. "How are you doing?" Sara shrugged. The life seemed to have vanished from her, the spark in her eyes extinguished by her grief. "I don't know," she said honestly. "I really don't know." She started crying - again. "I'm a failure," she bawled. "I cost a baby his life because I'm a failure as a woman!" Brian ignored her hysterics. Rachel had warned him that Sara was going to experience significant grief and guilt. He leaned over the bed and put his hand on Sara's cheek. "You are _not_ a failure," Brian said firmly, but reassuringly. "Rachel and Dr. Tina told me that there was _nothing_ you could do!" "But I couldn't carry a baby!" Sara cried. "I can't ..." Brian shook his head. "Most miscarriages are caused by problems with the baby, not the mother," he explained softly. He wiped gently at her tears. "It _wasn't_ your fault. Now are you going to believe Rachel and Dr. Tina and Dr. Phillips, or are you going to doubt yourself?" Sara wanted to believe him. "I suppose you did some research of your own, too?" she said, trying desperately to sound light-hearted, but not quite succeeding. Brian blushed. "Well, yeah." He glanced around, found the catch, and lowered the bed rail so he could sit on the edge of the bed. Sara sat up and wrapped her arms around Brian. He awkwardly hugged her; he knew she needed comfort and reassurance. He could feel the wetness of her tears on his shoulder. "I never cried when Ma died," Sara said softly. "Not like this. I haven't felt like this since ... Dad ... died." Brian closed his eyes momentarily, trying to imagine the sense of loss that Sara had felt. No matter how much he wanted to empathize with Sara, he couldn't. He had never experienced such a significant loss. "I can't begin to understand," he said. "But I know it hurts." ********** Sara hesitated as she stared at her phone. She'd already tried two other numbers with no success. She started to dial the number, but then hung up. After a few seconds, she started again, but, once more, she hung up. On the third attempt, she kept her nerve and let the phone start ringing. "Hi. It's me." "I know it's late. I just ... I need to talk to someone." "No, they're not here. It's just ... me." Sara was sniffling some as tears threatened to overwhelm her. "I ... I ..." Sara broke down crying. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I ... I can't ... stop." "Okay," she sniffled. "Okay. I can ... meet you ... at the door." She wiped at her tears. "I'll see you in ... in a few minutes." Sara hung up and let her phone fall to her bed. She wiped at the unending stream of tears, as she convulsed with sobs. After a few minutes, she rose, wrapped her robe around her, and padded out the door, still crying and still wiping at her tears. She rode the elevator down to the lobby, walked down the hall, and stopped at the side door, where she peered through the glass into the dark night. Eventually, she saw a figure approaching, and, as soon as she recognized Brian, she opened the door. Without waiting, Sara wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder as she continued to cry. For several long minutes, Brian just held her while Sara gave vent to her grief. When she let go of the embrace, she looked up, her reddened eyes showing her gratitude. "Thanks for coming," she murmured. Brian nodded. "No problem." "No problem?" Sara asked, half laughing and half crying. "It's the middle of the night, and you had to come running over, and you say, 'no problem'?" "What are friends for?" Brian replied. "Can we go inside? I don't ... want to be alone right now." Brian nodded. "Sure." He followed Sara back to her room. Ashley and Sara had set up their beds in bunks, leaving one side of the room empty. This spot, they had filled with a sofa. Sara sat down on one end of the sofa, and Brian eased himself down on the other. "I ... sometimes I get scared when I'm alone," Sara explained, still wiping at tears. "I feel like ... nothing will ever be right." Brian saw the helpless, vulnerable girl, and he knew he was alone with her in a situation that others could gossip about. But he also knew that she needed help, and, right now, there was no-one around to help her except him. He scooted closer and wrapped his arm around her. She, in turn, leaned her head on his shoulder. "I remember my little sister used to get scared of being alone sometimes," Brian said softly. "I used to hold her, so she felt safe and secure. Is that what you're feeling?" Sara looked up at Brian. "Yeah," she said. The tears were slowing. "Your little sister was lucky to have a big brother like you." She looked back down, staring blankly across the room. "I was trying to sleep," Sara said after a long silence. "And I kept having nightmares about ...." She didn't have to finish. Brian reached across, and with his fingers, gently moved Sara's hair back off her face and behind her ear. "Shhh," he said softly, as he rubbed her cheek tenderly. "You're going to be okay." In his heart, he wondered if he was lying. Sara had been having a _lot_ of counseling with Rachel, yet she was still having severe attacks of grief. For a long time, they sat in silence in the mostly-dark room, with Brian holding Sara and stroking her cheek. Eventually, her breathing became slow and regular, and Brian figured she'd gone to sleep. After a while longer, he let his hand drop from her cheek, and he slid it under her legs. In a maneuver he'd learned from caring for his little sister, he scooped her up onto his lap, her head still resting on his shoulder. Slowly, carefully, so as not to disturb the sleeping girl, he shifted forward, until he was on the edge of the sofa. He stood slowly, thinking that, when he used to care for his little sister, she had been much smaller than Sara. Fortunately, it was only a few steps to the bed, where he gently lay Sara down. As she was placed on the bed, a startled cry escaped her lips. Her head snapped up, and she looked around, confused. Brian sat down beside her. "Shhh," Brian said softly, as he stroked her cheek again. He sat down on the edge of the bed next to Sara. "It's okay." "Please don't leave me," she pleaded, as she laid her head back on her pillow, her voice small and frightened. Brian sighed. He knew he shouldn't be there, especially overnight, but Sara needed someone. He rubbed her cheek again. "I'm here. It's okay." Sara settled down again, slowly drifting back into a fitful sleep, with Brian watching over her and comforting her. ********** A shaft of sunlight stabbed Brian's face, and he winced. He tried to pull his arm to block the ray, but it felt trapped. As the fog of sleep lifted, he recalled where he was. They were in Sara's bed. She was sleeping soundly, resting her head on his chest, pinning his arm under her. Her arm was draped around him, her hand dangling free. He was dressed in the same jeans and T-shirt he'd pulled on, when Sara called. She was still in her nightshirt and robe. Brian let his head slump back down on the pillow. There wasn't much he could do, until Sara woke. Eventually, however, his bladder warned him that he _needed_ to get up. He began to shift, trying to wriggle out from beneath her. At the disturbance, she stirred. Sara stretched, then, realizing that Brian was beneath her, she rolled off him and onto her back. "I guess I wasn't dreaming," she said in a soft voice. Brian shook his head. "No, you weren't." She lifted her lips and kissed him, just a bit, then more and more eagerly, until they were locked in an emotional exchange. After a few moments, Brian broke the kiss. He felt awkward. This was Tommi's little sister he was kissing. And yet .... "Thank you for being there for me," Sara whispered as she kissed his lips again. She was eager to kiss him more, but he backed his head away to make it impossible. Brian felt severely conflicted. He pictured Tommi in his mind to help clear his thoughts, thoughts of passion with Sara. "I'm glad I could help." After a moment, Sara asked awkwardly, "Um, did we ... um, you know?" Brian smiled. "No. I behaved myself." "Oh." She sounded disappointed. Brian was surprised. "Did you ... dream that we did?" Sara's crimson blush betrayed her secret. She looked down toward his chest, avoiding his eyes. "It seemed so real. The dream, I mean. I guess I wasn't sure." Brian slowly sat up. "I think I need to use the restroom first," he said. "And then maybe we need to talk?" Sara nodded mutely. She'd come to the same conclusion. A few minutes later, they were seated on the sofa. "Sara," Brian began, "I ... we shouldn't ... that is, I shouldn't kiss you," he stammered. Sara wasn't even looking at him. She nodded her agreement. "Yeah," she muttered. "I'm crazy about Tommi," Brian continued, sounding like he was trying to convince himself as much as Sara. "I know." "This looks ... wrong," Brian explained. "What would she say if she saw us now?" Sara nodded slowly. "I know. It'd tear her up." She looked at the floor, shaking her head. "I just made my life a lot more complicated," Sara finally said. Brian stared at her, confused. "I don't understand." "You remember the first day we met? When you started flirting with me?" "Yes. And?" Sara sighed. "I guess I got a little bit of a crush on you then." "Oh." "Silly, isn't it?" Sara tried to laugh at herself. "Not really," Brian replied. "Actually, for a guy who didn't date much in high school, it's kind of flattering." "I know I was pushing so much for you to be dating Tommi because I know you'd be good for her," Sara continued. "But at the same time, I felt a little ... jealous." "Sara, please don't," Brian begged her to stop. Sara didn't listen. "I've started to care for you," she admitted. "Last night, you were so tender and comforting. I can't help it. I've fallen in love with you." She looked up at Brian, her eyes moist and sad and full of love. Brian looked at her, before he turned away suddenly. "You're trying to mess up my life, too, aren't you?" he asked. "Because I ...." He stopped abruptly, afraid to complete the sentence he'd started, even though his meaning was obvious. Sara sighed. "I can't hurt my sister." She shook her head. "I think you'd better go. Before ...." She left the sentence unfinished, but her meaning was obvious. Brian nodded and stood. "If you need anything, call me," Brian offered as he stopped in the doorway. "But ...." He looked down, not knowing quite what he wanted to say. Instead, he walked out of Sara's room, closing the door behind him. Sara wiped at her tears. "Don't worry, Tommi," she said to herself, "I promise I won't get in your way. No matter how much it hurts, I'll stay out of the way." ********** "Why not?" Sara demanded, her arms crossed defiantly, as she sat staring disapprovingly at Rachel. Rachel had seen this reaction before. "Sara," she began, trying to sound very calm and compassionate, "I understand your desire. But it's the Foundation's policy to wait a bit, just to make sure you have time to heal." Sara shook her head angrily, scowling. "I've _had_ time!" she countered sharply. "I know you need hosts desperately. I'm ready." Rachel sighed. She'd seen this too many times - a host mother miscarries, then she either demands to immediately try again or she withdraws and is never seen again. Sara was certainly in the first category. "You had a very traumatic experience," Rachel explained to bolster her argument. "According to every standard of clinical psychology, you need time to heal emotionally, to grieve, before you try again." "Fuck that!" Sara cursed loudly. "I want to do another one _now_!" Katie, sitting on one side of Sara, put her arm on Sara's. "Why don't you listen to what Rachel has to say," she said, trying to mollify Sara's frustration. Sara turned to Tommi, on her other side. "What do _you_ think?" she demanded. "I suppose you think I should give up on the whole idea!" Her words dripped with sarcasm and scorn. Tommi glanced nervously at Katie; she'd never seen Sara so upset before. "Sara," she said, her voice quavering as she tried to remain calm, "this is _your_ decision, not mine. What I think shouldn't matter." The words were incredibly difficult to say; every fiber of her being wanted her to scream that, of course, Sara shouldn't try another one. Tommi had been coached at length by Katie, and she somehow managed to keep her true feelings in check. Sara's eyes widened; she had expected that Tommi would be most vociferous in trying to get her to slow down and wait. Slowly, she turned to Tina. Tina took her cue. "I'm with Rachel," she said simply. "As a doctor, I know that you need time to let your hormones to re-stabilize. Even if you demanded to start today, there's not a doctor in the program that would even think about another transfer for at least three months." "So I'm done," Sara said bitterly. "I'm no good as a woman." Rachel sighed, but tried to be positive. "No one is saying that," she chided gently. "If you knew the statistics about ...." "I've read the damned statistics!" Sara snapped back. "I know how common it is!" Rachel allowed her to vent before continuing. "If you've _studied_ the statistics, you know that, on a second pregnancy, you are no more likely to miscarry than on the first. You know that the chances of a successful pregnancy after a miscarriage actually seem to be a tiny bit higher." Sara digested the lecture without blinking; her eyes were narrowed in anger, and her lips were tightly pursed. She turned to the one last person in the room. "What do you think?" she asked. Brian wondered why he was present; he felt awkward in this discussion, but, since he was Sara's friend, and he had seen her through many episodes of distress and depression, he hadn't tried to weasel out of being there. "I agree with Rachel," he said slowly. "I think that you still have a little grief to work through, and that your body _isn't_ ready." "Fine!" Sara snarled. "I'll wait, like you're all insisting. And, meanwhile, I get to deal with feeling like a failure, too! Does that factor into your statistics and psychology?" she demanded of Rachel. She glowered at the floor in front of her in anger. ********** Katie rose from her chair and stepped between Tommi and Sara. "Would you two just knock it off?" she demanded angrily. "She started it," Sara snapped back. Tommi got an innocent, "who, me?" expression; she was bewildered as to how the argument had actually started. The sisters were just sitting in Katie's apartment when Sara took one of Tommi's comments wrongly and began to snipe at her. Katie had had enough. "Shut up, both of you!" she ordered. "You're _both_ sniping at each other, so it's not either one of your faults. I'm sick of it!" "Sorry," Tommi apologized to Katie. "I'll try to keep it down." "No!" Katie roared. "You two have been practically at each other's throats, since before spring semester ended. I've had enough! It's way past time to get to the bottom of all of this and to get it behind us." "Sheesh," Sara grumbled. "Now you're sounding like Mom." Katie turned on her. "And with good reason. If she was here, you'd get the same lecture! Now we're going to get all of what's bothering each of you in the open, so we can move on. Got it?" Sara nodded. "Yes." "Got it," Tommi added softly, still glaring at Sara. "You're _both_ hurting inside!" Katie chided them. "The problem is, you're both so focused on your _own_ pain that you can't see that your sister is hurting, too! Part of your pain is that you're terrified of losing the special relationship you had, but you don't know how to get past that pain and reconcile!" Tommi and Sara just exchanged sour looks. Katie sat down. "Tommi," she began, "I know you feel unappreciated for what you've done for Sara. I know you wanted to help, and instead you feel like your effort was thrown in your face. Right?" Tommi didn't stop glaring at Sara. "Yeah," she admitted softly. "And I bet you're blaming yourself for what happened to Sara, aren't you?" Tommi nodded. "She wasn't supposed to know about the scholarship. I just wanted to help her get out of ... that place." Katie turned to Sara. "Sara, when you found out, did you thank Tommi?" "No," Sara said with a frown. "She was ...." Katie cut her off. "No. You'll get your chance. Do you think it hurt Tommi that you _didn't_ say thank you after you found out?" Sara closed her eyes and nodded very slightly. "But ..." "We'll get to that one, too, she reminded Sara. "So maybe, Tommi thought you were ungrateful? And that hurt her more?" Sara's eyes opened as she mulled over that angle. She hadn't considered it before. "Maybe ...." Katie turned to Tommi. "Tommi, did you ever consider that Sara might feel like she was being manipulated and controlled again, just like she had to deal with ... back there?" Tommi shook her head. "No." "Did you think that maybe Sara would look on the scholarship as you thinking that she couldn't take care of herself? That _you_ still thought she was a helpless little kid?" Tommi shook her head again. "Would _you_ have considered it a sign that you couldn't take care of yourself?" Katie asked. Tommi started to answer, but she paused. Her head lowered. "I guess so. I didn't think of that." "No, you didn't," Katie chided. "You barged into her life without asking, did something that you thought was selfless, and ended up hurting Sara, even though you were trying to help." Tommi nodded mutely. "How did you feel when Sara kept trying to get you to go out with Brian?" Katie asked. "I suppose you felt like _she_ was trying to manipulate you into staying a girl, right?" "Yeah," Tommi acknowledged. "It was just the same as when Ma tried to manipulate us." "Sara, did you consider how Tommi might feel to your efforts at being Cupid?" Sara shook her head silently. "But you were doing it, firstly, because you wanted to keep a sister, and, secondly, because you wanted Tommi to be happy, right?" "That's all I wanted!" Sara exclaimed softly. "But you didn't think of how Tommi would react, did you? That, maybe, she'd feel the same way as you, that she was being manipulated by someone?" Sara shook her head. "Okay," Katie said. "I'm going to let the two of you explain your feelings to each other. I'm going to referee. Rule number one - you cannot accuse your sister of ill intent. You can only tell her how you felt about something she did, and why you felt that way. Rule number two - when one of you is speaking, the other one cannot interrupt. Rule number three - you have to end each statement with some positive comment about your sister. Got it? " Tommi nodded. Sara said, "Yeah." Tommi started. "Sara," she began. Katie interrupted her. "Look at Sara when you're talking, not at the floor." "Sara," Tommi restarted, gazing uneasily at Sara. "I only wanted to help you get out of ... there. When you found out, you seemed a little angry, and that hurt me. It made me feel like you didn't appreciate what I was trying to do. It made me feel like you didn't really appreciate _me_! "And something positive?" Katie coached. "I was never so happy with our family, until after you and I started getting close. I knew I'd do anything to keep you happy." "Your turn." Sara looked at the floor for several seconds before turning to Tommi. "When I found out what you did, I was both happy and angry. I felt like you were setting up to control me, like Ma and Liz used to do. At the same time, I was so touched that you'd do something like that for me. I guess I forgot to tell you the last part. I really do appreciate it." Tommi spoke again. "When you had problems, I felt like it was all my fault. I felt like, if I'd been more careful, you wouldn't have found out, and you'd about be happy and innocent. I felt like I failed. But I still love you." Sara looked down. "I feel like it's my fault that you nearly died with the second baby," Sara said, her voice cracking. "If you hadn't done that for me, we wouldn't have nearly lost you. I blamed myself, and I guess it came out as anger directed at you. I was so afraid that I was going to lose you, and I couldn't stand the thought, because you're so special to me. And then I had my miscarriage, and I felt like a total failure. I think I started resenting you, because you'd had two babies, and I couldn't even have one. I felt ... inadequate and inferior. I shouldn't have taken my anger and disappointment out on you. I'm sorry. You're such a caring and giving person that I wanted to be like you." Tommi paused, thinking. She hadn't considered that Sara might blame herself for Tommi almost dying. "I'm sorry," she said earnestly. "I'm so sorry for everything. I love you, and I really don't like feeling so angry and isolated from you. I need you." She slid across the sofa toward Sara and wrapped her in a bear hug. "I'm so sorry, too," Sara added. "I appreciate you more than I sometimes say. I love you." After several moments, the sisters broke apart. Tommi felt that there was something else that needed to be said. "Is there something about ...." She cut off when she felt a kick in her calf. She glanced at Katie, who was grimly shaking her head, indicating that Tommi should just shut up. Tommi decided to heed Katie, before she got kicked again. ********** Sara had gone back to her own dorm room, leaving Katie and Tommi in the apartment that Katie had rented for the summer. Since Tommi was just up from Florida on a short trip, Katie had insisted that Tommi stay with her, rather than get a hotel room. It would give them time to talk, Katie had said. "So, what do you think of Brian?" Katie got right to the point. Tommi shrugged. "I like him." "And do you love him?" Tommi thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess I do." "But?" Tommi grinned as she shook her head. "You know me too well. I don't know if I could settle down and raise a family with him." "What about Sara?" Katie seemingly changed the subject. "I thought we went through all of that." "No, not you and Sara. How do you think Sara feels about Brian?" Tommi's eyes widened. "Sara ... and Brian?" She shook her head. "I ... I never thought of that." "You know that Brian helped Sara a lot right after her miscarriage, don't you?" Tommi shook her head. "No, I didn't know that." She considered the thought. "I know she always thought very highly of Brian. But ... are you suggesting that she fell for him?" Katie shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think she might have." "Wow!" Tommi whistled. "_That's_ a new wrinkle." "Yeah. And how are you going to handle it?" Tommi sighed. "I don't know." "How about Erica?" Katie asked. "Same thing. I love her, too. I don't know how to choose." "You better start thinking," Katie warned her. "You may be competing with your sister for Brian's affection, and, if you make either Erica or Brian wait too long before you make up your mind, you may find they're no longer available." ********** Tommi stopped by the clinic as the new fall semester started. Suzie was ecstatic to see her. "How are you?" Suzie asked happily as she gave Tommi a quick hug. Tommi shrugged. "I've had a busy summer," she explained. "Tanning and lounging by the pool, I hear," Suzie kidded her. Tommi laughed. "Lounging is hard work!" "So, is this just a social call?" Tommi smiled. "Actually, I wanted to talk to Rachel, if she's available." Suzie smiled knowingly. "Are you thinking of hosting another baby?" Tommi nodded. "Yeah. But I'll probably wait a bit, at least until Sara has hers." "Well, I know Rachel's free, since her lunch appointment cancelled. Go on back." Tommi walked back and knocked on Rachel's door. "Hi," she called into the office. Rachel looked up, and then beamed with joy. She practically bounded across the floor to embrace Tommi. "How was your summer?" Tommi nodded. "It was okay. Very restful." "Good. That's just what you needed. You look _much_ better than when you left for the summer. The rest was good for you. So what brings you by? Just visiting?" Rachel indicated they should sit on the sofa. "Not entirely," Tommi answered easily as she sat down. "Oh?" "Yeah. I'm planning on signing up to be a host again." "Oh, that's wonderful!" Rachel beamed. "Of course, you know that _any_ pregnancy will be considered high-risk after what you went through. That'll mean a lot more attention by the staff." "The staff that I so enjoy visiting with?" Tommi laughed. " The staff that pampers me until I almost can't stand it? I don't think it'll be a hardship. But I want to wait, until after Sara finishes her pregnancy." Rachel smiled. "That's very considerate." "So, when is she going to start?" Tommi asked, curious. "You know I'm not supposed to tell you about other clients," Rachel chided her. "But, since you're family, she's on the hormones. She's due for her transfer in about two weeks. We're going to give her an older baby, to minimize the possibility of transfer shock to the baby. Tina wants to get a baby in the eighteen to twenty-week age range." Tommi smiled. "Good. At least she won't be carrying a baby through the summer." She sighed. "That was _so_ uncomfortable!" "Hi," Dr. Tina called from the doorway. "Can we come in?" Tommi was confused by the word 'we', until she saw Tina's volunteer assistant, standing behind her. "Sure," Rachel said with a smile. "We were just visiting." Dr. Tina strode into the office and sat down in one of the wing chairs. Her assistant walked over to Tommi, bent down, and hugged her warmly. "Sara's a great assistant," Dr. Tina beamed. "She's so attentive and curious." Sara was blushing. "I'm just an assistant go-fer," she said modestly. Dr. Tina put her arm around Sara's shoulder. "Do you want to tell Tommi, or should I?" Sara seemed surprised. "I'll tell her," she said. Tommi was confused. "Tell me what?" She glanced at Rachel and Dr. Tina, both of whom were grinning. Sara smiled. "I was accepted into the Foundation's medical scholarship program. I'm going pre-med, and then I'll go on to med school to become a doctor!" Tommi leaped up and hugged her sister. "Congratulations! That's great!" she exclaimed happily. "You're going to make a great doctor!" "It's going to take quite a few years," Sara said cautiously. "And I have to get good grades, so I'll be studying a lot." Tommi shook her head. "You're smart. You'll do fantastic." Dr. Tina beamed with pride. "I hope that, one day soon, Sara will have an office just down the hall from mine." ********** To be concluded