Summer Secrets (part 5 Of 7) free porn video

Summer Secrets By Varian Milagro http://varianm.blogspot.com/ Chapter 22 We didn't practice on Saturday. Scott thought that practicing on show day would be counterproductive. I realized when I woke that I didn't know what I was going to wear for our concert. The other girls said they were just going to wear their normal jeans and blouses. I looked through the clothes I had brought to Cindy's and none of it inspired me, so I asked Jill if we had time to do some clothes shopping. She responded that there was always time for shopping. The show didn't start until that evening and Scott and the boys were going to haul our gear so we had several hours. Brenda and Cindy joined us and this time we went to a department store. They charged more than the thrift store, but they had clothes that were a little more current. Jill parked her car in the store's rooftop parking lot then we rode the escalator down one floor. The entire top floor was dedicated to women clothes, makeup and accessories. There were four sections just for clothes; women, misses, juniors and lingerie. There were also sections for shoes, handbags, makeup, perfume and jewelry. We were headed towards the juniors section when Cindy suddenly let out a load squeal. She ran into the shoe department and grabbed a pair of white, knee-high, platform boots with a heel that had to be at least four inches high, if not more. "I have to have these," she said excitedly. "We should all get some, we can wear them tonight." "I can't walk in something like that," I said. "Well, I'm definitely buying a pair," Cindy replied. "You know, if the three of us wear these and she doesn't she'll look like she's twelve." Brenda said. "We could play that up. It'd look trippy to have a middle-schooler tearing up the guitar solos." "I'm okay with that," I said. "Why don't you look for a cute, innocent looking outfit while we try the boots on?" Jill suggested. I wandered over to the junior section and began browsing. There were a lot of really cute skirts and dresses that I would love to own, but my budget was limited. I not only had to by an outfit for the concert, but this money had to last me for another week. I figured I could probably buy three outfits and still have enough to tide me over. I finally found something that I really liked and would fit Jill's criteria. I took all the outfits to the changing room, even if I didn't end up buying them all I could at least see them on my body. I tried on a brown, striped, short-sleeve dress that fell to my knees. It had a small, dark, brown belt that when cinched tight enhanced my manufactured curves. It was pretty conservative, but I liked it a lot. I thought that it made me pretty and it looked like something I could wear to dinner with my mom. The next outfit I tried on was a white, cotton, long-sleeve smock dress. The sleeves were loose and ended in a cute frill. The cuffs, waist and neck were ringed with a rainbow of pretty flowers. The waist was elastic so it also helped with the illusions of curves. I fell in love with it instantly and not only wanted to wear it tonight, but on many future nights as well. I wore the dress into the store to find the other girls. I found them in the women's section. They were looking through dresses that would go well with their boots. They settled on colorful mini dresses with long flowing sleeves and very short skirts. Cindy's was hot pink with white swirls; Brenda's was purple and covered with flowers in different shades of pinks and purples. Jill's was a mix of reds, pinks and yellows. All three came with matching headbands. With the boots they looked quite hip and very adult. They all approved of the white smock dress that I was wearing. While they purchased their dresses and boots I slipped back to the junior's dressing room to change into my regular clothes. In addition to the two dresses I also purchased a pink nightie with matching panties. When we made it back to Cindy's the guys were busy loading Scott's van and Troy's truck with all of our gear. I tried to talk to Daniel, but Scott was anxious to get the gear loaded and told me to stop flirting with the help. This embarrassed both Daniel and me quite a bit. I escaped into the house to get ready for my big night. Four hours later I was sitting in a small guest house with the rest of the band waiting for our start time. The guest house was owned by John Romano, a real estate developer and the party's host. The main house was a sprawling one story that covered nearly half of the property; the rest was all pool and beautiful landscaping. The guest house was on the far side of the property. Our equipment was already setup on a stage that looked like it had been rented for the occasion. We'd already performed our sound checks and were now just staying out of the way while the guests arrived. We'd start our first set at the tail end of dinner and then after a thirty minute break we'd perform the second. Troy, Mark and Daniel were told they could hang out since they were our roadies. Troy and Cindy were making out as usual while Brenda and Scott talked. Mark was watching Jill show Daniel how to use her camera. She was hoping that he was a better photographer than Troy. I was busy tuning my guitar for the fourth time and trying my best not to puke. I looked over the set list again. I had it memorized, but it stopped me from messing with my guitar. After I read it a few times I folded it up and stuffed it back into my purse. I pulled out my lip gloss and added yet another layer to my lips. With nothing else to do I grabbed my guitar and started tuning it for the fifth time. All too soon Scott was leading us across the lawn. I kept my eyes down and watched the skirt of my new white dress flutter in the light breeze as I followed my band mates to the stage. Seeing my pink toenails peeking out from my leather sandals I was reminded that I was now the shortest in the band by far, thanks to the platform boots the other girls all wore. Cindy was now about three inches taller than me and Brenda had me by at least six inches. To aid in the little girl look they had me tie my hair into loose pigtails with pink yarn. I think I looked pretty cute, but the other girls looked like they were in their twenties whereas I looked like I was twelve. While I didn't look at the crowd of people, I could hear them talk and eat. I could smell the smoke from the barbeque and it reminded me that I hadn't eaten since breakfast. Between the heat and my nerves I hadn't had much of an appetite. "Good evening," Jill said into her microphone as soon as we'd plugged in our guitars. "I hope everyone is having a good time. We're Honey Club and I think you might recognize our first song." Scott began clapping his sticks, called out the time and then I started playing 'Satisfaction'. The rest of the band joined me after the first bar and then we were away. At first I kept my head down and watched my hands and tried to forget that we were playing in front of a large crowd. I told myself that we were in Cindy's garage and it was just another practice. I had turned my body so that I faced Brenda and her keyboard. I lowered my head and my pigtails acted like blinders and blocked my view of the audience. I played my part well, but I remained nervousness throughout the song. I still had my head down when the song ended and the applause started. I whipped my head up and saw what looked like a hundred people all looking at us and clapping enthusiastically. The sound of their appreciation flowed into me and I began to laugh. It was like the guy's applause during practice, but a hundred times better. I kept my head up for "American Woman". I looked at all the people and spied some people moving their bodies to the music, bobbing their heads or swaying in time with us and I knew how music made me feel when I'd move my body like that. How music would fill me with joy and my body would respond in kind. But now it was me and the rest of the band that was bringing that feeling to a bunch of strangers. I'd strike my fingers across my guitar's strings and they would move and applause. It was fucking cool. I played the song exactly like I'd learned it from the album. I was not ready to do anything special yet. Playing in front of so many people was special enough for me. We moved quickly into "Radar Love". This time I changed up the solo a little. I didn't make it up on the spot, but I played a version that I'd worked on in practice instead of the one from the album. When I finished a number of people clapped and I heard Daniel scream, "Go Stacy." He had Jill's camera out and was taking photos of us. We finished the first set with Jill singing "Reign O'er Me" and the crowd erupted when she finished. After Jill told the crowd that we would be back after a break I unhooked my guitar headed to the guest house. As we walked by the guests a couple of them called out, "Good job." One guy came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder and embarrassed me with his exuberant praise. I giggled a little. I was shaking again, but this time instead of nerves it was from the rush I'd received from my first live show. John, the party's host, greeted us in the guest house as soon as we entered. "You guys were great," he said. "I must admit that I was a little skeptical when I was told that most of you were still in high school, but your skill belies your years." He turned and looked directly at me. "How old are you young lady?" "Fourteen." He shook his head. "Simply amazing." He turned to the group. "I no longer feel comfortable having you play for free, not when you are this good, so I am going to give each of you fifty dollars. Now I have food for you as well, if you will follow me to the other side of the house there is a buffet setup for you." While everyone else followed John to the food I caught Daniel's eye and motioned to him with my head. He understood my meaning and held back with me. Once the group was out of sight I started gushing. "That was so amazing," I said. "I was so scared before we started, but then they were clapping and you were cheering and...and...it was so amazing!" I bounced up and down. "You were so great up there Stacy," Daniel said. "You blew the crowd away." "Thank you so much for being here and helping. I could hear you screaming my name and it was awesome." In my excitement I hugged him and he hugged me back. Before I knew it he kissed me and I didn't pull away this time; it was the furthest thing from my mind. I kissed him back and we continued to kiss for I don't know how long; time stopped having meaning shortly after we'd started. I pulled away suddenly when I heard someone enter the room. "Don't stop on my account," Brenda said with a smirk on her face. "I'm just grabbing my smokes." She grabbed her purse and headed back towards the others. "I'll be right back," I said to Daniel and then ran after Brenda. I caught up to her in the next room. "Brenda, can we keep what you just saw a secret? I don't want the others to know yet." She frowned. "You don't have to hide. If you two like each other it's cool. No one is going to give you grief and if they do then they're the ones with the problem." "Yeah, I'm just not ready yet," I said. "Please, will you do this for me? I'll do smoothing for you in return." "I should make you follow through on your dare for this, but I actually admire you for not giving in on the smoking thing," she said. "I'll do it, but you'll owe me one, okay?" I agreed and made my way back to Daniel. I asked him to keep the kissing a secret and he said he would. As we headed back to rejoin the others the events of the last couple minutes started to sink in. I had not only been kissing a guy, but also I had been enjoying it. And now I owed Brenda, of all people, a favor. I dreaded what she would want me to do, but I really did not want Jill to know about what had happened. When we entered the dining area Jill gave me a look of suspicion. I wondered if Brenda had told her despite her promise. I tried my best to ignore the look as Daniel and I put food on our plates. "I want us to share the solo for 'Smoke on the Water' like we did last Sunday," Brenda said as we prepared to take the stage again. "I'm not sure I'm ready," I said. "You've got two songs to get ready." We opened the second with Jill singing "Heartbreaker". I wouldn't even consider making up a solo to a Led Zeppelin song. Jimmy Page's solos were too awesome as they were. When we played "Sunshine of Your Love" I walked up to the front of the stage for my solo. I was having a great time. I still played Clapton's version of the solo, but I doubt anyone in the audience knew it since I'd learned the solo from a bootleg of a live concert. The band knew it, since it was the same solo I'd played at the last eight rehearsals. The next song was "Smoke on the Water". I was dreading this solo. Brenda played the first part just like we'd practiced and I copied her effortlessly. I then played the second section from memory. It was Brenda's turn to lead and this time she improvised. She kept it simple and it was easy to copy. I played another memorized piece on my turn and she gave me a frown. She copied and then made her part much more complicated. She gave me a mischievous look and I knew that if I didn't start playing ball she was going to make my life hell on stage. I copied her piece and then made up some music on the fly. She flashed me a smile and then copied me. We continued improvising back and forth for the next several minutes. I started really getting into it and it was going well until I got a little too into it. I really went to town and played for nearly a full minute. I'd forgotten for a moment that Brenda was going to have to copy me. I'd made it way too complicated. I could barely remember what I'd just played; I did not see how she was going to reproduce it. She gave me a scowl and then flipped me off. Jill and Cindy laughed, along with quite a few people in the audience. The last song was "Born to Be Wild with Scott singing. Brenda started going to town during the solo and I joined her. I forgot all about the album and the way I learned it. I let the music flow out of me and soon Brenda and I were creating music together in the moment. We were totally in sync and it was the most amazing experience. When the song ended five minutes later she came over to me and hugged me while the crowd was still clapping. I really wished we were doing a third set. Chapter 23 We began tearing down and loading the van and truck; my guitar traveled with me in Jill's car. Once back at Cindy's it was unloading the vehicles and moving the gear into Cindy's garage. We didn't bother hooking everything up, we figured we'd do that at the start of our next practice on Wednesday; tomorrow was a day off. "There's supposed to be a kegger at the point tonight," Brenda said when someone asked what we should do. "I'm too young to drink," I said. "We all are, Princess," Brenda responded sarcastically. "That's why we're going to a kegger instead of a bar." "I don't want to go to a kegger." "You know, Princess, I love having you in the band and I had an amazing time on stage with you today, but sometimes you are a real downer," Brenda said in a huff. "She's only fourteen, she's not supposed to be drinking...or smoking," Jill snapped. "Didn't stop us when we were fourteen," Brenda replied. She looked at Scott and Cindy. "I want to party tonight, who's with me?" "I don't want to go to a kegger either," Jill said. Brenda, Cindy, Troy and Scott piled into Scott's van and headed to the party at the beach while the rest of us climbed into Mark's red Chevy Chevelle and headed to the drive-in. We didn't even know what was playing, but we knew that there were three screens and the shows started at dusk which gave us a half hour to make the fifteen minute drive. When we arrived we found that they were showing a car race movie called "Gumball Rally"; "Freaky Friday", a Disney movie about a girl and her mother switching bodies; and "Squirm", a horror movie about killer worms, which Mark wanted to see. "I don't care what we see as long as it isn't 'Squirm'," Jill said. "Oh come on, it'll be great," Mark replied. "I hate horror movies," I said. "I still get nightmares from 'It's Alive' and I only saw commercials for it on TV." "Don't be a bunch of wimps," Mark said. Mark bought four tickets to 'Squirm; the ticket seller didn't even seem to care that Daniel and I were three years too young for an "R" rated movie. Once Mark located a good parking spot, one about midway to the screen, he lowered his window and hooked the theater's large, metal speaker onto the car window and turned it on. A monotone Terry Jacks sang "Seasons in the Sun" through the beat-up speaker, at least I think that's what was playing; it was hard to tell through all the static. "I'm kind of thirsty; can you get me a Coke?" Jill asked Mark. "Sure, everyone one want a pop? Stacy? Daniel?" he asked. "Four Cokes coming up." "Maybe Daniel can help you carry them," Jill suggested as Mark exited the car. "You can't carry four drinks by yourself?" Daniel said when Mark opened Daniel's door. "Don't make me kick your ass in front of the ladies," Mark said. As Mark and Daniel walked towards the concession stand I saw Mark cuff his brother's head. Once they disappeared into the small building to buy our drinks Jill turned to face me. "So, what's going on between you and Daniel?" She looked serious. "Nothing, why?" I felt like I'd just got caught stealing. "It didn't look like nothing earlier today," she said. "You two didn't follow us to the food and then when you did your face was flushed and Daniel looked like he'd just swallowed the canary." "Nothing happened," I said forcefully. "I was excited about how well the gig was going and I wanted to share it with someone who wasn't part of the band." She eyed me suspiciously for a few moments. "Okay," she said finally. Daniel and Mark returned during the previews with a load of popcorn, candy and hotdogs in addition to the four Cokes. Daniel and I didn't talk while the previews played. I drank my pop and nibbled on some popcorn. About ten minutes into the movie Mark and Jill started making out and a couple minutes later Mark told his brother that he wanted Daniel and me to move to the front seat. Daniel argued at first, but relented when Mark glared at him. When we all got out of the car to exchange places Mark slugged Daniel in the arm: hard. Daniel stared at his brother, his face was beet red. "What are you going to do, cry?" Mark mocked. Daniel turned and stormed off towards the concession stand. "You're a real asshole," I yelled at Mark as I ran to catch up with Daniel. "She's right you know," I heard Jill tell Mark. "Are you all right?" I asked once I caught up to Daniel. "He makes me so mad sometimes," Daniel said. "He always has to have his way." "I'm sorry," I said. After a pause I added, "I hate bullies." We walked around a bit near the concession stand while Daniel cooled off. When he seemed like he was calmer I suggested we go back to the car, but he didn't want to sit in the car with his brother. Then I got an idea. I led Daniel through the concession stand towards the screen showing "Freaky Friday". I found an empty spot near the back and turned on the speaker. "We can watch the movie from here," I said with a smile. I looked at the ground and then at my white dress. "I should probably just stand." Daniel sat down on the asphalt with his back against the speaker pole. "Sit on my lap." "I'll crush your legs." "I'll be just fine." He patted his lap with his hand. I sat on his lap, but I sat forward away from his body. Besides being afraid of hurting his legs I was still conflicted about my feelings for Daniel. I liked him a lot and the kiss earlier in the day had made my head spin, but I couldn't get involved with a guy. I wanted to be a girl--there was no doubt in my mind about that--but I was still a guy and it wasn't right for two guys to be together, not even if one of the guys was as amazing as Daniel. I tried to get into the movie to distract myself, but it just depressed me. "Freaky Friday" is all about a girl who magically switches bodies with her mother. How I wished I could magically switch bodies and be a real girl. It would solve so many problems; I wouldn't have to worry about someone finding out that I was really a guy. I wouldn't have to sneak pills behind my mother's back. I could be with Daniel. I could change in front of the girls. I would have real breasts and be rid of those things dangling between my legs. But it was just a stupid fantasy. I wasn't going to change into a girl magically and I would have to go back to being Gary once school started. It wasn't fair. "Hey, what's wrong?" Daniel asked. "Nothing." I wiped at the tears in my eyes. "It doesn't look like nothing." He put his hand on my shoulder. "You can tell me." "I wish I could." "You can tell me when you're ready." He removed his hand from my shoulder and placed it on my stomach. "Lie against me and let me hold you." "Okay." I let him pull me against his body. I leaned against him while he held me tightly. After a few moments I laid my head on his shoulder and let my body go limp. I felt so safe and comforted in his embrace. I stopped paying attention to the movie and I listened to the sound of his breathing and his heartbeat. My worries of the future began to fade. Twenty minutes later we were disturbed by an employee tapping Daniel on the shoulder. "You have to go back to your cars," the guy said in a bored voice. His name tag said "Eric". "Can you let us stay?" Daniel asked. "The other two in our car are getting busy and we don't want to be part of that scene." "I can dig it, but you can't stay here. Sorry." "Please." I looked up at the guy with a sad puppy face. Eric sighed. "I do this round every thirty minutes. I'll just pretend I didn't see you on this round." "Thanks," Daniel and I said in unison. I laid my head against Daniel's shoulder again. My problems faded in his warm embrace even though them was my growing feelings for him. Too quickly for us Eric came back. We got up without a word and walked toward the concession stand. We decided to play pinball in the concession stand instead of going back to the car and watch people get eaten by worms. I didn't play very well during the first game; I was too busy pondering my feelings for Daniel. There was no longer any doubt in my mind that I liked him a lot. I knew he liked me too. I knew that Jill and my mom would not approve of me having a boyfriend. I knew that Daniel wouldn't approve if he knew what was really between my legs. Yet, I knew how much fun we always had together. I knew how I felt when he'd kissed me at the gig and I knew how I'd felt when he held me a few just a few minutes ago. Daniel won the first game easily. "You deserve a prize for winning that game," I said just as he was about to put another couple of quarter into the machine. "Oh, yeah what is my prize?" "This." I kissed him square on the lips. I was more focused on the second game and the electric feeling coursing through my body seemed to help my game play; I won the game by a decent margin. Daniel looked a little disappointed. "Hang on," I said as he was about to start our third game. "Don't I get a prize for winning?" He smiled, grabbed me with his arms and hit me with a kiss that made my legs wobble. "I like this lip gloss even better than the other one," he said when we broke apart. "This one is strawberry," I said as I added another coat to my lips. After that we no longer really cared who won and we started burning through quarters pretty quickly. Thirty minutes later, when we saw that the horror movie had ended, we made our way back to Mark's car. We had to knock on the window to get their attention; they hadn't realized that the movie was over. I wondered if they were even aware that we'd been gone the whole time. Mark had to drop us off at Cindy's house so that we could get Jill's car. Daniel and I waved goodbye while Mark and Jill made out for a couple minutes. I wanted to give him a kiss goodbye, but I didn't want Jill to know that I liked Daniel that way. It was after midnight by the time Jill and I arrived at her house. All the lights were off so we guessed that her parents were asleep. "Um...you're going to need to sleep in my brother's room," Jill said as we walked quietly up the stairs. "My mom said it was okay for you to sleep with all of us, but if it were just you and me she didn't want us sleeping in the same room." Her words felt like a punch in the belly. It reminded me that I didn't really belong. If Cindy or Brenda spent the night they'd sleep in Jill's room. They wouldn't have to sleep in a separate room by themselves. But they were real girls. I'd been accepted as one of the girls only because Jill had lied to her friends. If they knew the truth they wouldn't want me to sleep in the same room with them either. They wouldn't want me to be in the band. Everyone liked Stacy; Daniel, Gloria, Jill, Heidi, even me. But I wasn't Stacy. I was just stupid Gary. I carried my stuff into Andrew's room and got ready for bed. The room was filled with guy stuff. There were models of planes and cars on the shelves and models in bikinis on the walls. It was another reminder that I wasn't a girl. I was a boy and I was supposed to like sports and beautiful women. I wasn't supposed to wear dresses and makeup and have a boyfriend. I crawled into Andrew's waterbed and thought that I was going to get seasick; I bobbed up and down as the water sloshed beneath me. It settled down after a minute, but then I rolled over and the waves started up again. Before they died down again I remembered my pills. I retrieved them from my purse and headed to the kitchen. I started going through drawers, looking for a knife. I finally found a steak knife and just as I cut the two pills in half I heard the sliding glass door open. I turned to see Jill come inside from the back deck. She walked over to the kitchen. Based on her smell I guessed that she'd been sneaking a smoke. "What are you doing?" she asked from the entrance to the kitchen. "Taking vitamins," I said. "I don't like to take a whole one." "Oh...Can I have one?" "I'm almost out, sorry." I filled a cup and swallowed the pills. "Goodnight." I hurried to Andrew's room and put the pills back in their bottles. I would have to be more careful next time. Jill looked like she had believed me, but the next person might not. Chapter 24 In the morning after breakfast I braved a shower in a house that was not my own. I not only locked the door, but braced my suitcase up against it. I stripped naked and found that I was really beginning to hate my body. That stupid thing between my legs was making life difficult. If I didn't have it, I wouldn't have to worry about what others thought about Daniel and me. I wouldn't be shunted off to Andrew's room. I could wear jeans without having to tuck away part of my body. I could be truly accepted as one of the girls. I looked for any sign that there had been any changes to my body yet, but I was still just as male as the day before. Once I finished my shower, hair and makeup I found Jill in her room. She told me that no one wanted to practice since we'd just had a gig the day before. They all wanted to go to Horseshoe Lake instead. Going to the lake would mean a swim suit. Wearing nothing but a bathing suit in front of hundreds of people seemed like a needless risk. I had passed as a girl successfully for a month now, but that was with a couple layers of clothing. Girl swimsuits didn't leave much to the imagination and I was counting on people's imagination. I could only think of one thing that would make me venture outside in a swim suit. "Is Daniel going to be there?" "Probably," Jill said. "You sure there is nothing going on between you two." "He's nice and we have fun together. I don't have a swim suit though." "I have a couple extras." Jill got up off her bed and rummaged through her drawers. She found a couple of bathing suits, but they were all bikinis. "I can't wear a bikini." "I think I can make this work," she said after a minute of thought. "Go put on the bikini and I'll look for something to go with it." I picked up the larger of the two bikinis and headed to Andrew's room to change. There was a knock on the door shortly after I finished changing. Jill entered the bathroom with a pair of cutoffs and a tie-dyed t-shirt. She had me put both on over the bikini and then she tied the bottom of the t-shirt so that it exposed my waist. The neck of the t-shirt was stretched out so that it hung off one shoulder and exposed the strap of my bikini top. It looked kind of cool. I slipped on a pair of sandals and I was ready to go. We arrived at Horseshoe Lake a couple hours later and spent twenty minutes just looking for a place to park. It was a beautiful day and everyone had decided that the lake was the place to be. While I'd been to Horseshoe Lake before it had been a couple years. I'd never been very comfortable at the lake or at the beach for that matter. I felt pretty inadequate around all the jocks with their shirts off, displaying their six packs. It made me feel like a loser. I felt a similar inadequacy when I saw a couple girls in skimpy bikinis, showing off their perfect curves and big boobs. I felt way overdressed. Most of the girls wore bikinis. A lot of the women wore one pieces and a couple of them wore a one piece and a sarong. I was the only one I could see that was in layers. I wanted nothing more than to head back to Jill's car and hide, until I saw Daniel that is. He was wearing a pair of navy blue swim trunks and a pair of flip-flops. He looked like he was enjoying the lake as much as I'd been, but when he saw me his face lit up. We waved at each other and our desire to embrace felt palpable to me. We both tried to look as nonchalant as possible. The other girls wanted to find a spot on the beach and sunbathe while Mark, Troy and Scott wanted to go swimming. Daniel and I said that we wanted to throw a Frisbee. We headed off alone and walked to a large field that was behind the Horseshoe Lake Snack Shack. We tossed the Frisbee back and forth for a few minutes to make sure that none of the others had followed us. Once we were sure that they were busy with their own stuff we dropped the pretense. Daniel took my hand and led me to a copse of trees on the far side of the field. We sat under the shade of a large maple tree and made out for the next twenty minutes. "Can we tell people about us now?" Daniel asked. We'd stopped kissing were holding each other while listening to the birds chirp in the trees. "Can we wait a little longer?" "Okay, but can you tell me why? You're not embarrassed to be with me are you?" "No," I said emphatically. "It's not you; I just know that Brenda and your brother will tease us." "Yeah, but they'll stop after a while." "I just don't want to deal with it right now." He smiled. "Okay. I can wait if it's important to you. I'm just happy you like me." After awhile we decided to throw the Frisbee for real and we had a good time as usual. We eventually got thirsty so we headed to the Snack Shack. It had bathrooms, a quick order grill, some vending machines, a few pinball machines, and an air hockey table. As soon as I smelt the hamburgers grilling behind the counter I got hungry. I bought us two Cokes and a cheeseburger basket. Daniel tried to pay, but I insisted. After we ate we decided to play some games. We wanted to play air hockey, but there was a line so we played a couple games of pinball while we finished our Cokes. Afterwards we headed to the lake shore to find the others. The girls were all sunning and smoking; the guys were nowhere in sight. We found out that they'd swum out to a floating dock near the middle of the lake that sported a tall diving board. "You should join us, Stacy," Cindy said. "The sun feels amazing." "You should lose the shirt and shorts, Princess," Brenda said. "It too hot out and you shouldn't hide your body. You have nothing to be ashamed of." I almost laughed at her comment, but instead I said, "We're thinking of playing some more Frisbee, how long are we staying?" "A couple more hours at least," Jill said. "Cool, we'll meet you back here in a couple of hours." Daniel and I headed back towards the copse of trees knowing that we had at least ninety minutes to ourselves before anyone would come looking for us. That night after dinner I told my mom that I was tired and that I was going to bed early. All day in the sun after an exciting weekend had wiped me out. I washed my face, took my pills and then changed into my new nightie. As I crawled into bed I spied the teddy bear Daniel won for me at the carnival. I grabbed it and pulled it into bed with me; I snuggled with it as I fell asleep. Chapter 25 Monday morning it was back to the salon. My weekend had been so exciting that it felt like it had been a full week since I had been at work. I ached to tell Heidi about Daniel. I thought I was going to burst if I didn't tell someone, but I didn't know who to tell. I was so afraid that if I told anyone they would tell me that I shouldn't be with him and that was something I didn't want to hear. I thought that perhaps Patricia would be the most understanding, but I wasn't prepared to take the chance. I told them all about the gig, minus the kiss of course. They promised that they would be at my next gig if there was one no matter where it was. After four hours of washing ladies hair and painting their nails it was time for lunch. I told my mom that I wasn't very hungry and just felt like going for a walk. I walked, but to a payphone that was out of sight and called Daniel. We talked for almost my entire break. My mom had a doggy bag from the Stardust Diner for me when I got back to the salon. I was pretty happy because I had lied about not being hungry. I wanted to call Daniel when I got home that night, but with my mom in the next room I didn't want to risk it. I doubted I could hide my affection for him from my voice for very long. Wednesday night arrived and the band was back at practice. Daniel and Mark were there again. I tried not to stare at Daniel the while I played, but it was hard. When we had our break and the others went into the house Daniel and I stayed in the garage. After a surreptitious hug and kiss I decided to give him a guitar lesson. While he held the guitar and strummed I stood behind him and showed him how to hold the strings with his left hand. It was mostly an excuse to press my body up against his. After a few minutes he asked me to play him a song. "What do you want me to play?" I asked as I took my guitar from him. "I don't know, but can you sing the song too? I want to hear you sing." "Okay." I felt flattered. I didn't know the lyrics of many songs since I'd always focused on the guitar part. There was one song that came to mind that had hardly any lyrics and I knew pretty well. I quickly launched into "Wild Thing" by The Troggs. When I started singing the song I concentrated on recalling the lyrics, but as I sang them I thought of Daniel and my feelings for him; so many of the lyrics seemed to apply. When I got to the second line of "wild thing you make my heart sing" I wasn't just singing a song I was telling Daniel how I felt. I looked into his eyes and sang from my heart. "You make everything groovy, wild thing. Wild thing, I think you move me, but I wanna know for sure," I sang. "So come on and hold me tight, you move me." I think Daniel could tell that something more was going on than me just singing a song. He looked like he wanted to hold me tight at that very moment. Once I finished the song my band mates came around the corner of the garage and applauded. "You are so singing that at our next gig, Princess," Brenda said. "That was groovy, little lady," Scott said. Jill remained silent. She looked annoyed. "How did you get the sound?" Scott asked. "We've practiced that song, but we can never get it to sound right." "You have to adjust your tuning so it's a little sharp," I said. "My dad taught me how to do it." After practice Jill handed out photos of our first gig. Daniel was pretty decent photographer. He wasn't as good as Jill, but he was much better than Troy. While the others were kissing goodbye in the garage, Daniel and I slipped around the corner and gave each other a couple quick kisses. "I'll call you tomorrow," I said. I headed back to the garage, hoping no one noticed our absence. Jill was silent for the first five minutes on the trip to my house, but finally she let me know what was on her mind. "I thought you said nothing was going on between you and Daniel." "There isn't." "Don't bullshit me," Jill snapped. "You were serenading him for goodness sake. 'Wild thing I love you'?" "It was the only song I knew the lyrics to," I said. "Don't tell me you really 'can't get no satisfaction'." "Listen, I have no problem with you pretending to be a girl and I have no problem with keeping it a secret as long as nobody gets hurt," she said. "What do you think will happen if Daniel falls for you and then finds out that you aren't really a girl?" She paused for a few moments. "It's not fair to him." "It's not what you think. We're just friends." "Right, and that's why you didn't want to go to the lake until you heard he was going too, and then when we got there you two disappeared for the whole day." "We're not only the same age, but we're also the only two non-smokers. The only way for us to breathe is to be away from you guys," I said. "If guess if you say that there's nothing going on, then there isn't." She didn't sound convinced. We didn't talk for the rest of the ride and she didn't come up to the apartment to say hello to my mom when we arrived. On Friday Gloria gave me another envelope thick with cash. I saw another trip to the department store's junior section in my near future. Jill picked me up after work and let me know that Scott had gotten us another gig for Saturday. SkateLand, the local roller rink, hosted an open mic for local bands on Saturday nights and Scott had found out that no one had signed up for this week's session. Cindy was able to get permission from her parents and neighbors again so we'd be able to have another Friday night practice. Our groupie-roadies were in attendance as usual. We started out by running through all of our songs. Scott said we should just do the same sets from last week. Once we'd finished the two sets everyone wanted to practice "Wild Thing", everyone except for me that is. I had no desire to sing in front of a bunch of people. I was also afraid that if I sang it with Daniel right in front of me everyone would see right through me and instantly know my feelings for him. They continued to pester and I eventually relented. I looked above the three guys as I sang and tried to keep Daniel out of my mind. "Hmm, that wasn't nearly as good as Wednesday," Scott said once we ran through it the first time. "Your voice is nice, but it was lacking something." We ran through it again. This time I looked at the guys but did not let my eyes linger on anyone of them for too long. I tried to conjure up the feelings I'd had on Wednesday, but without locking my eyes on Daniel. It seemed to work well enough to satisfy Scott and the others. We played it a few more times to get it down pat. The guys hung around for a couple hours after practice and Daniel and I found every occasion would could to sneak off for a couple minutes to make out while the others were distracted with each other. Chapter 26 In the morning I talked the other girls into another shopping trip; it was an easy sell. I told them that I did not want to go the little girl route at this gig, I wanted to dress more like they had. Our first stop was to the shoe section once we arrived at the department store. A shoe salesman measured my feet before disappearing into the back of the shop. He reappeared a minute later with a box that held a pair of white, knee- high boots that matched the ones the other girls had purchased the previous Saturday. Walking in them was not that easy, but I did not care. I wanted to look older and more mature tonight, just like the other girls. We headed to the misses section to find a mini dress that complemented the other girl's dresses. It wasn't hard; they had tons of such dresses. I found a golden one in my size and headed to the dressing room, along with my newly purchased boots. I emerged a few minutes later wearing the dress and boots and posed in front of the girls. "Our little girl is all grown up," Brenda said as she put an arm around Jill and wiped away an imaginary tear. "You look really nice," Cindy said. I was really happy they liked it. Brenda and Cindy wanted to do more shopping, but Jill though that we should get back to help load our gear. I was able to coax her into letting me shop for a swimsuit. After a bit of browsing I finally found one that I liked. It was a one piece that had extra material around the waist to make a built-in skirt. The girls thought that it looked really cute on me. We headed back to Cindy's to help the guys load up the gear. It turned out that while we wouldn't start playing until eight we had to be setup before five o'clock. Apparently the stage was on the far side of the rink and the only way to access it was through the rink. The owner did not want to stop skating during his peak hours for us to haul our gear so we would have to setup before the evening skate. He'd told Scott that we were welcome to leave our equipment and just come back when it was time to play, but none of us were comfortable with that idea. Plus we all liked roller skating so we figured we'd just hang and skate until it was time to play. The other girls decided to dress in jeans for skating and then would change into their dresses just before the show. This idea scared me until Jill told me that the ladies room at this rink was fairly large and had large stalls so I could change in one of them. Once we'd arrived and setup our gear we all got some skates. Since we were performing they did not charge us for the rental. The place was mostly empty when we'd first arrived, but by the time we had skated around the rink a couple times more people started arriving. The roller rink did all the normal skating things, girls only skate, boys only, the hokie pokie, etc... After we'd skated for about 40 minutes it changed to couples only skating. Daniel held his hand out to me, but I told him I didn't want to skate anymore and headed to the game room. They had skee ball, air hockey and of course pinball. We started playing pinball first. "I think we should let everyone else know we like each other," Daniel said during our third game of pinball. "I want to be able to hold hands in front of people and couples skate and all the other things boyfriends do with their girlfriends." "I'm still not ready for that," I said. "I like the way things are right now, let's keep it a secret for a little while longer." "How about we play a game of pinball for it?" he suggested. "If I win you do the next couples skate with me and after that we stop hiding." "No deal. We're too evenly matched; there's too good of a chance that you'll win. After a few more games of pinball we moved over to air hockey, a game I'm pretty decent at. It did not look to be Daniel's specialty; I quickly racked up six goals to his zero. "How about we play for it over a game of air hockey?" he asked. "No," I snapped. "Please stop bugging me about it, okay?" "Even this game?" I looked at the 6-0 on the score board. I would only have to score one goal to his seven. "What do I get if I win?" "I'll stop bugging you about it for the rest of the night." "Make it an entire week and you've got a deal," I said with a smile. I hit the puck towards his goal and he not only blocked it with ease, but also he hit the puck so hard I could barely see it as it slammed into my goal. I'd been had. I gave him a nasty look as I placed the puck back on the table. I hit a nice, hard, angle shot similar to the others that had netted me my six previous points. He again blocked it easily and slammed another goal home. "You hustled me," I pouted once he'd scored his seventh consecutive goal. "That's cheating." "It's not cheating, it's just being tricky." He had an annoying smirk on his face. "You're not going to renege are you?" "No," I said, a little offended. "I'll couple skate, but I think this is going to be bad for both of us." We headed back to the rink just in time for the Hokie Pokie, one of my favorite parts of skating. After that it was all skate followed by girls only, another all skate, then boys only, and then back to all skate. It was getting near the time when I would have to change for show. I thought I was going to get lucky and miss it, but suddenly the lights went low and the disco ball in the middle of the rink lit up. The sign flashed "Couples Only" and "Dream Weaver" started playing through the speakers. Daniel held out his hand and this time instead of fleeing to the game room I took his hand and we continued skating around the rink. I could feel the eyes of everyone in the rink upon me as we skated in the large wooden oval. I tried to calm down by reminding myself that except to one person we appeared to be a normal couple skating together. As Brenda and Scott skated past us Brenda gave me a smile and a thumbs up. The others were all skating together as well and none of them said a thing to me or Daniel. After the couples only skate Jill decided it was time to get dressed. We returned our skates and then grabbed our clothes from her car. I found an empty stall in the bathroom and changed into my dress and boots. I went dramatic with my makeup this time. I wanted to look older than my years. With the dress, boots and heavy makeup I looked nearly eighteen in my opinion. As we left the bathroom I realized I probably should have practiced walking in the boots instead of skating all night long. Luckily the boots had a block heel, but with the platform and heels they added nearly five inches to my height. I held my arms out for balance and tried my best not to fall over as I struggled to keep up with Jill. It felt like I was walking on Romper Stompers. I felt like a klutz. Luckily, Daniel noticed my plight; he rushed over held his arm out. I held his arm with both hands as we walked to the stage. "Break a leg, Stacy." He pulled me into a hug and kissed me. At first I resisted, but then I figured that our feelings for each other were now obvious to everyone so I kissed him back. "You have to tell us about you and Daniel after the show," Cindy said as we picked up our guitars. "Yeah, this I definitely want to hear," Jill said. The gig went even better than our first. Our audience was younger and they were really into us. At first everyone continued to skate, but by the time we were finished with our first song most had stopped and congregated near the stage. I made up all of my solos on the fly this time. I fed on the energy of the crowd and sent it back to them through my guitar. The first seemed to fly by. Before I knew it we were playing "Reign O'er Me" and then the set was over. We found a table to sit at and drink some pop during our break. I sat on Daniel's lap the entire time. His brother gave him a playful punch in the arm and told Daniel that he had good taste in women, which made me blush. Several people came up to us while we rested and told us how great they thought we were. When it came time to head back to the stage Daniel kissed me again. No one said anything to us since they were all busy kissing as well. Midway through the second set I sang "Wild Thing". I found Daniel in the crowd and sang it directly to him. Now that I wasn't hiding my feelings for him I really let loose and sang it with all my heart. It was the best I'd done to date. I discovered another thing while performing that night. I knew that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wanted to play guitar for an audience and I wanted to do it as a woman. While we broke down our equipment after the show I tried to figure out what I was going to tell the girls. They were going to want to know when I'd started having feelings for Daniel. I didn't want Jill to know that I'd been lying to her, but at the same time I really wanted to come clean and tell them the truth. On the ride to Cindy's I told them all about it. I had to skip the parts about me worry about liking a boy when I was really a boy too, but other than that I stuck to the facts. Jill didn't seem mad at all; she seemed a little relieved. The next day we headed to the beach again. Without the need to hide our affection Daniel and I hung out with the others more this time. When the guys swam out to the dock in the middle of the lake I stayed with the other girls and enjoyed the sun in my new one piece bathing suit. Later that day when Jill was driving me home she launched into me. "I don't care that you lied to me about Daniel, I get it," she said. "I would have lied too, but you can't keep lying to him. You have to either tell him the truth or break it off." "I don't want to do either of those things," I said. "If I tell him the truth he'll hate me and I like him too much to dump him." "The longer you wait the worse it will be. He'll freak if he discovers the truth the hard way." "It's not fair," I cried. "Why can't I just be a girl for real? Why did I have to be born a boy? It's not fair." "I'm sorry," she said gently. "If there was some way I could make this all better for you I would in a heartbeat." Jill hung around this time when we reached my place; she even helped me make a tuna casserole for dinner. After we finished eating we hung out in my room for awhile and talked about music and things; we avoided talking about boys altogether. I held my teddy bear as I lay in bed that night and dreamed of being a real girl and making out all night long with my boyfriend, Daniel. --Continued in part 6--