How I Became The Baddest Girl In Clarksville Part 15: Nice Grils Don't Explode free porn video

How I Became the Baddest Girl in Clarksville Part 15: Nice Girls Don't Explode - Satan Gave Me a Taco- Compared to being dumped by Austin, Ian's rejecting me felt like a trip down a child's slide, in the park, on a sunny day, with the birds singing chirpy songs, landing in soft grass surrounded by a ring of daisies. Austin's walking away, leaving me alone on the landing, still stung when I woke up Friday morning. I did my best to hide the pain at breakfast. I smiled when smiles were required, made nonsensical small talk when called for, acting as nothing had happened -- pretending I'd had a pleasant Thanksgiving Day with an old schoolmate. Meanwhile, I struggled to wrap my head around why'd he done what he'd done. I knew he cared for me, yet he'd given up? He hadn't even let me walk downstairs with him to say good-bye. And that hurt the most --the way he'd turned and ran. Though I gave myself a congratulatory pat on the back for putting up a tough girl front (when I was falling apart inside), the truth was, no one would have noticed how down I was, even if I'd walked around tearing at my hair,wailing at the top of my lungs. Dad was focused on polishing his pitch to Mr. Myers' board of directors while Mom fought to defy the laws of space and mass, attempting to fit a weeks worth of Dad's clothes into a carry-on bag so the airline wouldn't charge for extra baggage. All the bustle stemmed from the call Mr. Myers made to our house late Thursday night. He'd learned the Pineville Regional Airport would be open at noon and they could catch a shuttle flight for Omaha at one. There was a direct flight to New York from there at three, and they would be in New York by six-thirty. Myers wanted to make this happened. He would drop (dump) Austin off at the bus depot (to carry him back to boarding school and out of Myers' hair) as soon as it opened at ten and we should expect him at our house between ten-thirty and ten forty-five. As he had already made reservations, that included booking rooms at a four star hotel in New York, he expected my father to have his bags packed and ready to go when he got here. At breakfast, Dad hurried though his scrambled eggs and toast, checking his watch after every bite and every sip of coffee. Finally, unable to handle the chore of "leisurely" dining any longer, he scarfed up the last bits of egg and toast, chugged down the remaining coffee in his cup and then launched himself away from the table, carrying my mother with him. "Alex, you don't mind cleaning up the breakfast dishes do you?" She asked on her way out of the kitchen. "Thanks honey," she added, not waiting for a reply. " Get your brother to help." I looked at Tyler. "Well?" "Sorry. Busy," he said, skipping after my parents. I sighed. What had I expected? I cleared the table, loaded the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher and then tidied up the kitchen. When I finished, I wandered into the living room looking for something else to do. It was like walking into a hive of busy bees (except there were only two). Mom and Dad buzzed around not accomplishing much of anything but obviously enjoying the ride. Finding their frantic excitement too much for my already depressed spirit, I retreated upstairs to my room and perched on the bed. It only took a moment to realize I was sitting in the same spot I'd sat next to Austin when I'd declared my feelings for him the night before. This brought me down even more and I began to wonder if I should just call it quits like he'd done. If Austin could throw in the towel, then so could I. It was like the Leslie Gore song: It was my party and I could cry if I wanted to --and I did. I was still brooding when I heard a tap on my door. The door inched open a crack and Mom's voice called from the other side. "Alex, don't you want to tell your father good-bye? He's about to leave." "Tell him to wait!" I cried, jumping up off the bed. I rushed past my mother, down the hall. "Daddy wait," I shouted, bounding down the stairs. He was standing in the middle of the living room wearing a wide grin when I hit the bottom. "You're still here!" I cried, throwing my arms around him, burying my head in his chest. "I was afraid you'd be gone." "What!" he exclaimed, in mock surprise. "Before saying good-bye to my favorite princess. Not on your life." "I love you Daddy," I said. "I love you too, Princess," He said. "I need you to help your mom while I'm gone. Will you do that?" I nodded, my head still pressed against the warmth of his body. I didn't want to turn lose. There was a knock on the door followed by another. This one was louder and sounded impatient. "That's Mr. Myers," said my father, easing my arms from around his waist. "I've got to go." "Bye. Princess." He kissed me softly on the forehead. "I'll be home before you know it." Dad grabbed his bags, leaving my mom to answer the door. Mr. Myers stood on the porch, his elbow cocked, his hand balled into a fist, ready to knock again. "Good," he said, spying Dad clutching a bag in each hand. "You're ready" "Would you like to come in for a moment, Mr. Myers?" Mom asked. "I can put on a pot of coffee." "Thank you, Mrs. Tetras, but no," Myers said politely. "Car's running. No time to waste if we want to make out flight. We have to go through security, you know." "Yes of course. Well, take good care of my husband and good luck," Mom said. But she needn't have bothered. Myers had turned his back on her and was making for the car. Dad paused long enough to give my mom a quick kiss, before hurrying after his boss. "Bye Daddy," I called after him. He turned at the edge of the porch. "See you soon, Princess," he called back. I watched through the open door as he got in the car opposite Mr. Myers. They pulled away and soon turned the corner at the end of out street. With my father gone I felt directionless, like a child's toy boat, pushed into a pond and then forgotten, left to be blown around by the breeze, drifting in whatever direction the wind was headed. My father was my anchor, the thing that stabilized me. He he was also my rudder that kept me on course. He would be gone less than a week, but even that would test me to the max. Nixing the idea of going back up to my room (that was the last place Austin and I had been together) there was nothing to do but roam the house. After my thirty- third circuit (Okay,maybe it was only the thirty-second I wasn't really counting) I dropped on to the couch. Grabbing the remote I switched on the television and began surfing around for something to take my mind off my problems. Clarksville Cablevision offered a whopping forty-four channels (if you bought the deluxe package and not the basic seventeen) These included Disney and GSN along with a couple of premium movie channels. In Sacramento, our provider had supplied us with over two-hundred basic channels and another one hundred and fifty or so premium. Still, forty- four was better than the one local channel people were stuck with if they depended on rabbit ears or the cheap outside antennas they sold at the hardware store. But today, after flicking through the other forty- three (all of them showing reruns --Disney was showing stuff for preschoolers) I ended up on the one channel I didn't need cable to pick up, local station, WCLK, Clarksville's channel 5. The show was Good-Morning Clarksville and was billed as a blend of news and topics of interest to Clarksvillians (or what ever people here called themselves). I thought the show's title was a little strange since it aired not in the morning but an hour before noon. But even stranger were the people that hosted it, Robbie and Reese. Every week day they treated us to local news and events in and around town for an hour, along with interviews of local business people and the occasional chef cooking up their signature dishes for the television duo. This morning they were discussing the recent, almost blizzard with WCLK's weatherman, Morty Snuff. "That was some bad weather just before Thanksgiving wouldn't you say Mort," said Reese tucking a stray lock of bleached hair behind her ear. As usual she wore more makeup than a Barnum-Bailey clown and an outfit that could only be described as Quaker punk. Turning to face the camera, she flashed what was suppose to be a sexy smile but came off as a set teeth that were a little too perfect to be real. "Well it could have been worse," said Mort, grinning like he'd said something clever. "That high pressure front from the north-west helped push it on through," He passed a hand across the top of his bald head, then quickly dropped it as if realizing there was nothing up there to smooth or pat down. "We have another one brewing, though. Right now it's west of us but the computer models show it heading our way, sometime in the next ten days. So we're not out of the woods yet, and it's only November." "Oh my goodness," said Reese. She turned and smiled at the camera "More snow." "I'm afraid so," said Mort. "And this one looks to be a real doozie." "Well promise me you'll keep us informed, Mort," Reese said and gave the camera still another look at her fake teeth. "You got it," said Mort, not to be upstaged. "We'll keep Clarksville up to date about this and any other weather developments as they happen. You can count on us " "O-kay. Thank you Mortimer Snuff," said Robbie, his face and shoulders filling the television screen. "I guess we need to let you get back to your weather maps and computers. See you at noon for a full report of what to expect weather-wise for the next five days," This last part was said a little too eagerly to be polite. "Who's next Reese?" he asked, while I tried to decide if he was wearing a toupee. The top of his hair didn't match the sides. "Well Robbie, our next guest is --" I didn't catch the rest because at that moment Tyler came bounding down the stairs, his sports bag slung over one shoulder. "Are they here?," he asked, inserting himself between me and the television. "Who?" I asked. "Nathan...duh. He and his mother are picking me up Where have you been?" "Uh first," I said. "Do you see them? And I've been right here. By the way you're blocking the TV." Tyler's face twisted up like he'd tasted something sour. "Boy. You're in a mood." "No fighting you two," Mom said, magically appearing from the kitchen. "Are you leaving, Tyler?" "As soon as they get here. And I wish they'd hurry. I don't know how much of Alex's bitching I can take," He cruised over to the window to pull back the curtain, so he could peer out. "Where's he going?" I asked Mom. My mother frowned at me. "I told you last evening, Alex. He's spending a couple of nights at Nathan's house. I asked you if you would be okay alone, with Tyler gone and me at work." "They're here!," Tyler cried. "See ya', wouldn't want to be ya, losers," he sang, zipping out the door. "Well that was a nice good-bye," said my mother, staring after my brother. She turned to me. "So, will you?" she asked. "Will I what?" "Be all right... At home... By yourself." "I'm not a child, Mother," I said, offended. I shifted my attention back to Robbie and Reese. Robbie had rolled his shirt sleeves up to his elbows and was helping a guy in a chef's coat mix up something in a big stainless steel bowl. Reese looked on, pretending to be interested. "Want to talk about it, Alex," said my mother coming up beside me so her maternal shadow fell across my lap. "About what?" I asked, I could feel her towering above me but I kept my eyes glued on the T.V.. "What indeed," said Mom. "Why don't we start with you and Austin?" "There's nothing to talk about," I said. "Austin and I are just friends. He's not even here anymore. He's gone back to school." "So, he's not the reason for the long face?" Asked my mom, kindly. "I don't have a long face," I protested. "If it were any longer," Mom said. "Your chin would be bumping the ground." "Just a moment," she said. She scooped up the remote and clicked off the T.V. I felt her weight on the cushion next to me as her hand settled on my knee. "Honey," she said, leaning forward to face me, her eyes sympathetic. "I know something happened between you and Austin, yesterday. You were having such a good time together and then when he left, he looked so serious and you didn't even come down stairs to say good-bye." "I don't want to talk about it, Mother," I said. "Alex, you need to. I need you to. You're my daughter and you're hurting. You can't keep carrying whatever happened inside you. You're already fighting with your brother." "Fine," I said, "you want to know why I didn't say good-bye when he left? I'll tell you. It was because he didn't want me to. He didn't want me around." "I thought you were friends?" Mom said. "We are...were...I don't know anymore." "Hmmm..," Mom searched my face, her eye weighing what I'd said. "That's a pretty sad face for just friends. Are you sure you weren't developing feelings for him." I shrugged. "Maybe," I said, looking away. "I thought so," Mom said. "Alex...Honey, I think you're trying to hard." "Trying to hard with what?" I asked. Mom took a breath, exhaling long and slow. "With boys. First it was that boy at the mall and now Mr. Myers' son. I think maybe you should slow down. You can only handle having your heart broken so many times, baby." "Austin didn't want me. Ian didn't want me. What's wrong with me," I said, my voice bitter. My mother brushed back a stray lock of my hair, where it had fallen across my cheek and gently guided my head so it rested against her breast. "There's nothing wrong with you, Honey," she said, smiling down at me. "Nothing at all. You're a beautiful young woman. Any boy would be lucky to have you. And if you give it time, the right one will come along. You just have to be patient." "I don't want some boy. I want Austin," I said. "I thought he wanted me. I know he did. It's Mr. Myers. He doesn't want us to be together. But...but that...that's not the way it's supposed to be," I stuttered, struggling to explain what I'd come to believe after my conversations with Mrs. Gartman. "Everything happened like it did so Austin and I could meet and be together... like with Shelly." "What are you taking about, Alex?" My mom asked. "I'm talking about serendipity," I said sitting up. "It's kinda like a coincidence but it's not. It just looks like a coincidence." "I know the meaning of the word. The question is how did you decide all of this was serendipity?" "Mrs. Gartman explained it to me," I said, wiping my eyes where tears had formed. "Really," said Mom. She opened her mouth as if to say something else then closed it and pursed her lips. "You know what, Alex, why don't you come with me to the mall. I have to help Vivian get the store ready to open, but it doesn't mean you have to hang around. You could go shopping or grab a snack at the food court. Whatever you feel like doing. I think I even have few dollars in my purse you could shop with. When I finish at the store we can have a late lunch and talk about this serendipity idea. I'd really like to know what Sandra told you." I considered my mother's offer. Going to the mall might get my mind off things but on the down side,I could run in to Ian. That was not something I was anxious to do. But with his parents owning Head Games, he would probably be a fixture there for the next decade. So, was I going to give up my favorite place to hang out with my friends, just because that jerk might be there? Hell no, I decided. He could kiss my ass (scratch that- I didn't want his lips on any part of my body not even there). He could take a flying fuck (better). "The mall sounds good, Mom," I said, the decision as much a fuck you to Ian as anything. Mom smiled. "I'm so glad you've decided to go with me, honey. It'll be fun. If you need to change or anything do it now. We need to leave in the next half-hour." Trotting up to my room, I felt better. This would be fun. I nixed the idea of dressing up, settling instead on a pair of light blue skinny jeans and my white cardigan. After I dressed, I stopped at the bathroom mirror to pull my hair into a pony tail, then made the descent to find Mom. I found her in the kitchen, on the phone. "She just came down. I'll put her on," Mom said, passing the phone over when she saw me. "It's Shelly's grandmother," she said. "Hello?" I said, puzzled why Mrs. Gartman would call me. "Alex," said Mrs. Gartman. "How are you, honey?" "Uh...okay, I guess." "I'm so happy to hear that," said the woman. She laughed. "You're probably wondering why I'm calling you instead of Shelly. I mean that's her job, right. After all, you're best friends," She paused, "I'm sorry, sweetheart, " she went on, her voice distraught, "I'm having the hardest time keeping my thoughts together." "Is something wrong?" I asked. "Has something happened to Shelly?" "No," said Mrs. Gartman, "Well, actually yes," She paused, then began again. "I made a terrible mistake, Alex. I had some old friends over for Thanksgiving. Normally, Shelly and I spend it alone, just the two of us. It's sort of a private celebration where we give thanks we have each other. I started doing that shortly after Shelly lost her parents, while she was still quite young. The idea was to make her feel loved and valued and we've done it ever since. Anyway, some old friends just happened to be passing through Clarksville. I believe they were on their way to Kansas City - Oh ! there I go getting off track again-- it doesn't matter where they were going does it. They stopped in to say hello, being in town and all. That's when we heard the news of the storm. Well, they were stranded. What kind of person would I be if I told them they weren't welcome to spend the holiday with us. I mean their only other choice would have been to ride out the storm in their car." "I had no choice, Alex," she begged, her voice trembling. "You understand that don't you." "Yeah, I guess," I said. "Now Shelly's locked herself in her room and won't come out. She won't talk to me., not even through the closed door. I afraid she's going to do something reckless like hurt herself or runaway." "She's doing this because you had those guys over?" "Yes, dear." This didn't sound like Shelly. "She didn't sound too upset when she talked to me about it on Tuesday." "That's the strange part," said Mrs. Gartman. "I was also fooled into thinking she was comfortable with my friends. Then suddenly, she began to change. It started Thanksgiving morning. By that night she'd become unreasonable." "So what does this have to do with me?" "I'd like you to come over, spend some time with Shelly, get her out of her mood. She'll listen to you, Alex. You're her best friend. Perhaps you could spend the weekend." "I don't know," I said. Brett would be back tomorrow and I need to be here and ready when she did. "I have something important going on tomorrow afternoon. I need to be here for it. Besides, she may not talk to me. Not if she's locked herself in her room. I mean last time she did that she told me to go away." "Oh, she'll talk to you, dear. She said she would." "You said she wasn't speaking to you at all." "I may have exaggerated a little," Mrs. Gartman admitted. "I was trying to get you to realize the seriousness of the matter. Shelly is my life. If anything were to happen to our relationship, I...I don't know what I would do. I...I..don't think I could continue to...live." I sighed. As reluctant as I was to get involved, I knew how much Shelly meant to Mrs. Gartman and what she meant to Shelly. I couldn't say no. " I'm going to the mall with my mother but I'll be home this afternoon. I could come over then. " "Oh! You're such a dear, Alex," said Mrs. Gartman. "Would you consider staying the weekend? I think Shelly's spending time with her best friend would be just the thing to get her out of this er...slump." "I can stay tonight but I have to be home early tomorrow. I'm expecting someone." "Thank you so much, Alex," Mrs. Gartman gushed. "I'm so grateful that you're doing this. I'll be by to pick you up... say about four? Will that give you enough time to pack? " "Five would be better." I wanted to put this off as long as possible. "Five it is,"said Mrs. Gartman. "I'll see you then. Bye-ee." I handed the phone back to my mother. "What was that about?" Mom asked. "Apparently, I'm spending the night with Shelly," I said. -I Saw an X-Ray of a Girl Passing Gas- With Christmas music and brightly decorated stores echoing thoughts of the last time I was here, stepping into the mall was like stepping into pure deja vu. I walked beside my mother, past the artificial trees hung with red and green balls, letting her carry the bulk of conversation, (which was mostly one sided, anyway). I was busy keeping myself distracted, counting the wreaths decorating windows and doors and trying to identify whose version of "Jingle Bells" was being piped through the speakers. I'd promised myself the mall trip was going to be a diversion from all the shit going down in my life. Whatever tomorrow might bring wasn't going to worry me today. Today was a "me" day, no boys, no Shelly (until until this afternoon), no fretting over Walter or Brett. Even though only a portion of the stores were open (the others had signs taped in their windows telling when they would be back in business), the mall was bustling with people. "Do you want to come in for a few minutes?" Mom asked when we reached Just Girls. "I'm helping Vivian put out the new arrivals and there's some really cute skater skirts and tops in the shipment. You really ought to look at them, Alex. If you see one you like I'll put it aside." "Maybe later," I said. "I want to see what other stores are open." "Well, have fun," Mom said, pulling me close enough to plant a kiss on my cheek. I endured the kiss and then splintered away into the flow of people, letting their current carry me with them. As I passed Head Games, I was delighted to see the wire security gate stretched across the entrance and locked. I wouldn't have to worry about Ian. I followed the crowd to the back of the mall where Clarksville's two major department stores faced each other, separated by the food court to form a "T" shape. When we reached the intersection the crowd divided, half angling left to the Target the other to the right and Marshall's I wasn't interested in either store so I plopped down on one of the empty benches. Across from me, a group of mall workers were cordoning off a section of floor with red velvet rope around a large chair with red velvet cushions. The ropes were fitted with a brass snap clip on each end, and the workmen were attaching them to fancy gold posts, arranged to form a large square. A section of the square was open to create a "doorway" complete with a sign that read: "TAKE A PHOTO WITH SANTA AND HIS ELF. SPECIAL PRICE $10.99 TODAY ONLY" A man in a Santa suit stood next to the sign lecturing a woman dressed as an elf. The woman had dark limp hair and looked weary in her red and green tunic and short skirt, as if whatever the beef between them was it had gone on way to long. The woman said something, threw up her hands and stormed over to where the men were checking their work. She stopped in front of one of the workers, a youngish guy I guessed might be her boyfriend, and said something too low for me to hear, and pointed at Santa. The guy shrugged and then went back to tweaking the the velvet rope. Pissed, the elf woman stormed off again. A glance back at Santa revealed he'd now accosted the photographer, stabbing his finger at the man's chest while the poor guy struggled not to drop his camera and tripod he was clutching. Finally Santa ended his tirade and spun off toward his chair. The photographer sulked away, his shoulders slumped, looking whipped. Watching Santa boss people around reminded of Mr. Myers. I remembered the creepy way he'd smiled at me, across the table, after accusing me of luring Austin into the weeds. I began to feel anger rise inside me. Somewhere, penetrating the celestial dome, between fifteen and thirty thousand feet, as they jetted toward Omaha, my dad sat beside the bastard while the fat old fart filled my father's head with garbage. I wondered how much of it was about me. If it hadn't been for Myers, Austin and I would be together now. That a single person, like Myers, could have so much power over others, simply because he had money, seemed wrong. Though my father had never admitted it, I suspected he disliked Myers as well. I'd seen his expression once when he turned away, thinking no one was looking. I knew Dad was doing this for us: his family. Knowing the sacrifice my father was making made me tremble and my eyes fill with tears. "Dammit," I muttered, realizing I'd begun to cry. The inability to control my tears made me feel weak and I hated it. "Hello," said the small voice of a child. I looked down and saw a little girl, maybe five years old staring up at me with large blue eyes. Her long blonde hair framed a porcelain doll face with rosy cheeks and a button nose. I thought she could have been me at that age had I been born a girl. She was dressed in a red and blue plaid jumper, over a long sleeve yellow pullover. This was matched with red tights and low-tops with blue laces. I thought she looked adorable. "Why are you crying?" she asked. "I guess because I miss my dad," I said between sniffles. "He left today, to go on a trip." "My daddy is on a trip for the Army to Affa....Affa...Affaganstan..." "Afghanistan?" I asked. "Yeah. That place. I was sad but I didn't cry. He writes me all the time and calls me on the phone. Some times he sends me internet pictures." "You're really brave," I said. The little girl thought about this. "You're pretty," she said, after a moment. "And I like your pink shoes." "Thank you," I said. "I think you're pretty and I like your shoes." The little girl giggled, covering her mouth with her hands. The gesture was so innocent and so completely unpretentious, I had to smile. "Ramona, quit bothering that girl and get over here," said a woman, striding our way. The little girl glanced over her shoulder at the approaching woman before looking back at me. "That's my momma," she said, seemingly unconcerned. The woman reached us and took one of Ramona's hands. "I'm sorry, the woman said."She'll talk to anyone that will listen. I've warned her about approaching strangers but she has this idea everyone is her friend." "It's okay," I said. "She wasn't bothering me." The woman's smiled, as if to say "You don't have to make excuses for my daughter". "Come on, honey," said the woman to Ramona. "Santa's ready for us." "I'm getting my picture made with Santy Clause to send to Daddy," Ramona called to me as her mother led her away. "Bye." "Bye, Ramona," I called back but they were now on the other side of the mall, by the velvet ropes-- too far away to hear. *** Bossy Santa was piling kids onto his lap assembly line style. A kid would approach. Bossy Santa would hoist them up. The Elf woman would pose them for the camera, followed by the bright flash as the photographer snapped their picture. Then Santa would dump them onto the floor, leaving them to wander back to their parents half blinded and alone while he snatched up another kid. The whole process took less than a minute. After watching Santa preform this borderline child abuse on a half-dozen kids, I'd had enough. I wasn't ready to go back to Just Girls but I didn't want to continue my voluntary confinement on the bench, either. With Ramona and her mother gone, there was nothing to keep me here. It was time to move on So what to do with myself? Trolling the mall alone was a lot different (and a lot less fun) than shopping with Shelly. If she were here, we could have bounced ideas off each other. But today, there was only me, and I was the epitome of boring. I needed a purpose. Then it hit me. The reason for being here was everywhere. Christmas! The holiday was less than a month away and I hadn't done any shopping for presents. What better time to do it than today in the mall. As John, Christmas shopping amounted to little more than finding Dad a tie, in a pattern he hadn't gotten from me in Christmases past. Mom usually got a scarf and Tyler the latest toy fad that could be purchased for under ten dollars. But as Alex, it was important to get everyone something meaningful, even my mostly asshole brother. I wanted this Christmas to be really special. I needed something for Shelly too, and maybe Abbie. Brett could get fucked. "Or..." said Practical Alex rearing her sensible, to the point of ad nauseam, head to whisper in my ear, "she could fuck you-- over that is. Things aren't anywhere near settled about the Eden documents and you're not going to know anything until tomorrow night, when she gets back from wherever." "Dr, Swanson said he was going to leave me out of it," I countered, though I only half believed it. "And I'm the Queen of Siam," said Practical Alex. "People will say anything to get you to do what they want. I can't believe you haven't figured that out, after everything that's happened." "He doesn't have to be lying," I protested. "Maybe he'll just get the papers back and go away." Practical Alex made a snorty sound. "Whatever," she said. "Oh, and just for the record, I see another 'I told you so moment' in your future. Tootles." She popped out. I considered what Practical Alex said, but the truth was, I had to believe Swanson would keep his word, otherwise.... Otherwise what, Alex? I asked myself. I didn't know --other than it wouldn't be good. "You've been in tighter spots and you've always come through okay," I consoled myself. "You'll do it this time, too. I know you will. Remember serendipity. It's on your side, kid." "Yeah?" said Practical Alex who apparently hadn't really left, just faded into the background for a moment. " Where was serendipity yesterday, when he kissed you good-bye and then ran off, leaving you alone? He abandoned you, and he's not planning on coming back." "I don't believe that," I said. "Suit yourself," said Practical Alex. "But clinging to false hope won't change things." "Go away," I said giving my head a shake, metaphorically flinging Practical Alex out of my brain. "I'm done with you." "This is an Alex day," I reminded myself. "I"m going to hunt for Christmas presents and then have lunch with Mom. And I'm going to have fun." The idea of finding stuff my family would enjoy, imagining their smiles when they tore the wrappings off the gifts, lifted my spirits. I just needed to decided who I shopped for first. I was coming up fast on Bling and Things, one of Shelly's favorite places. I glanced at the row of shops across from Bling, namely Head Games, and exhaled a sigh of relief. The security gate was still firmly in place. With the fear of running into Ian out of the way, there was nothing stopping me from shopping for Shelly first. I had a limited amount of money, no where near enough to buy everybody a gift today. But Bling was a discount store and one of Shelly's favorites. I had plenty enough money for Shelly's present, if I got it here. As I stepped inside, I saw an elderly woman had replaced the pink haired tattoo girl at the checkout. The old woman smiled at me as I cruised toward the sweater bin. I remembered Shelly finding some there she liked. I fished around until I found two I thought she might like. The first was a hot pink with lime green sleeves, colors Shelly loved. The second was yellow green with red zigzags. I held them side by side trying to decide which one I should buy. "Those are on sale, hon," said the old woman, watching from behind the counter. "They sell for eighteen apiece but you can have the two for twenty-five." I had thirty dollars in my pocket. That would be just enough for the sweaters plus tax, if I got them both. If I only bought one, I still wouldn't have enough money left for anyone one else a gift, unless it was really cheap. What the hell I thought, go big or don't go. I carried both sweaters to the counter where the old woman rang them up. While I waited for my change, I glanced through the window at Head Games. I was shocked to see the lights on and someone moving around inside. "Hon?" The old woman was nudging my arm. I managed to tear my eyes from the other store, back to the old woman She held out my change. "Sorry," I said extending my open palm to receive a single bill and some coins. I jammed the cash into my pocket and gathered the bag holding Shelly's sweaters. "Merry Christmas," the old woman called as I left the store. I didn't answer. I was so focused on who was in Head Games, I didn't see the girls until I slammed into them. "Watch where you're going, bitch," said one. I was knocked off balance, the bag sent tumbling from my hand. I bent down for it and when I looked up three of the Debs were staring back at me, Chrissy Allen. Selma Vinton and Edith Nguyen. "Well if it isn't that little lesbian tramp, Tetras," said Chrissy. Selma and Edith stood to either side of her, looking amused. "Hey! It's hobo girl," said Brooke Simmons, coming up beside them. I sighed. This just kept getting better. "Where's your nerd friend, Tetras? The one you dumped us for. I thought you two were joined at the hip," Chrissy smirked. The other three girls giggled. "I heard they were lovers," said Brooke. "That's why they're always at each others house," More giggles. "What's in the bag, Tetras?" Chrissy asked taking a step forward. "Been doing a little shopping for your nerd girlfriend?" "It's none of your fucking business," I said, as the other girls began to crowd around me. "Oh but it is," Chrissy said, snatching the bag before I could stop her. "Inquiring minds have to know." "Give it back you fucking bitch," I cried lunging forward. "Not so fast, Tetras," said Selma, grabbing one of my arms and then the other, pinning them behind me. "We want to see what you bought." "OMG," Chrissy laughed, lifting one of the sweaters out of the bag, waving it for the other girls to see. "Tell me this is not the ugliest thing you've ever seen." Chrissy waving the sweater in front of me was like a matador waving a red cape in the face of an enraged bull, the Deb's laughter like the roar of the crowd, crying for blood, either the bull's or the matador's, it didn't matter as long as it was crimson and flowed freely. I wanted blood too. Tearing free of Selma, I launched myself at Chrissy banging into her with enough force to knock her off balance. She stumbled, dropping the bag before toppling onto her back, with me on top of her, driving my fists into her face. The Debs were screaming, while Chrissy tried to cover her face as she struggled to throw me off. I locked my thighs against hers as if I were a bull rider and landed punch after punch. Each one filled me with satisfaction as angry tears poured down my face. She was the one that caused Austin's bike to be stolen, turning Mr. Myers against me, ruining any chance of Austin and I being together. I wanted her to pay. I felt hands slip under my shoulders, prying at me, trying to separate me from Chrissy. But I wasn't ready to stop. I kicked out and connected with flesh, producing a grunt and a curse. "Grab her ankles," ordered a man's voice, as another set of hands clamped around my legs with enough force to hurt. "Let's get her out of here." I twisted and squirmed, but whoever held me was too strong for me to break free. Finally, I gave up and let them carry me off. -Her Teeth Were Stained but Her Heart Was Pure- "I can't believe this happened, Alex. Fighting! And in the mall of all places. Not only did you embarrass me in front of Vivian when the Mall Security called, do you realize how close you came to being sent to the youth center. They were talking about locking you up." I sat with my body twisted away from my mother, the bag holding Shelly's presents pressed tight against my tummy, as I stared out the passenger window of Mom's car. She'd given me the silent treatment until we were out of the parking lot and onto straight road. Then she opened the flood gates, lecturing me until I wanted to beg her to stop. "We may have to pay that girl's medical bills. You left some nasty bruises on her face. Lord knows how much that will cost. Our insurance is not going to cover it, that's for sure." "Okay, Mom," I said, still looking away, "you made your point, I get it." "I don't think you do, Alex," said my mother. "But you'll get this. Your grounded until your father gets back from New York. After that we'll see." "What!" I cried, spinning around to face her. "You can't mean that." "Oh, but I do." She took a breath. "Alex, what you did today was serious. You physically injured another person. If the mall guards hadn't pulled you off, you might have done permanent damage to the girl. She's severely bruised." "She started it," I said, "According to the security guards, the girls that witnessed it said you started it-- that you attacked the girl for no reason." "They're all her friends. They're lying." Mom released another long sigh, as if finally stopping to rest after a long exhausting journey. "I'd love to believe that but even if it were true--" "It is Mother," I said before she could finish. "Why can't you accept that I'm telling you the truth." "Even if the other girl did start it," My mother continued. "That's not an excuse for what you did. You could have walked away. You didn't have to strike her multiple times. in the face." She shook her head, her expression wistful, almost forlorn. "I don't know you, Alex," she said focusing on the road ahead. "I...I don't know my own child. I thought we were growing so close. I was so happy, so proud of you, but now...you;re hiding things from me...keeping secrets...its like there's a whole other you I was unaware of." "Mom--" She held up a hand, signaling me to silence. "I don't want to hear it," she said "Not now... maybe later... but not now. "Fine," I snapped, turning back to my window and the view outside. The rest of the drive seemed agonizingly long, the silence between us like the thick window prisoners sit behind to receive visitors. The kind that require phones to hear one another, except our phones weren't working. Mom pulled into the driveway and I followed her across the yard and up the steps as she stalked into the house. Once inside she faced me, "Give me your cell phone," she said. "What?" I couldn't believe this. "Give me your cell phone, Alex, your grounded. No cell phone and no internet until I decide otherwise." "But Mom," I stammered. I needed that phone. How would I know what was happening with Brett without it. "I'm waiting," Mom said, her hand out, palm up. I pulled the phone out of my pocket and handed it to her. She put it in her purse, closing it with a snap. "Now we're going upstairs and unhooking your internet connection," she said. My mother stormed up the stairs appearing to grow more angry with every step. I trailed behind, feeling defeated. Sitting on the bed I watched as she snatched the jack out of the back of my computer and then the sister end from the wall. She formed the cable into a neat coil, her hands working in quick twitchy motions. When she was done she twisted the last bit to secure its shape and tucked it under her arm. "I'll leave you to yourself, now," she said. "If you should later decide to tell me what's going on, I'll consider listening." She left, closing the door behind her. I got up from the bed. Dragging the chair from my desk to the window, I looked out across the street at the Barnes House, its narrow peaked garbles stabbing up at the winter gray sky, like sharp fingernails on broken fingers. A few starlings flew above. flapping first in one direction and then another. Winter refugees, I thought, alone and confused,unsure of where to go. They were so much like me. "At least you're free," I told the birds as they winged their way toward the end of our street and out of sight. Brett would be home tomorrow. Without a phone or internet, I would have no warning if things had gone wrong, until was too late and either reporters or government agents were busting down my door. Of course, I could always go downstairs and confess everything to my mother, though some of it was so fantastic I wasn't sure she would believe me. Even if she did, all I would have accomplished would be more reasons not to trust me. So what the hell was the use. Brett could do whatever in the hell she wanted. It didn't matter. I'd lost Austin and was about to lose my family, What could Brett do to me that hadn't already been done-- nothing. "Well Alex," I said. "You've fucked things up before but this time you out did yourself. Congrats." Turning away from the window, I walked to the spot where I'd dropped the bag with Shelly's sweaters. Kicking it hard with my foot, I sent it skidding across the room. It struck the wall with a satisfying slap, spilling a tangled pool of color onto the floor. I'd lost the Christmas spirit and I didn't think it was going to come back. I had an old Ipod that I kept stashed in the catch-all drawer of my desk. It was filled with mostly retro songs John had loaded and I'd never gotten around to deleting. I fished it out and clamped the headphones over my ears. Cranking up the volume, I was greeted by the raspy voice of Joan Jett, not giving a damn about her bad reputation.. The steady pulse of guitars and drums worked their magic and it wasn't long before I drifted into a catatonic stupor. One song bled into the next until I was only vaguely aware of the roar in my ears. How much time passed, I couldn't say (I knew I'd run through the entire play list at least once, the songs were beginning to repeat) when I noticed a sound that wasn't part of the music. It was low and gruff and so distant that at first it was barely audible. As it grew in volume, I began to recognize the sound. I'd heard it a dozen times. It was the sound of Austin's bike. But that was impossible? Austin was on his way back to school --wasn't he? I snatched off my earphones and tossed them to the side. Listening carefully, I picked out the nuances I'd become so familiar with, the particular way Austin's engine sputtered when he backed off the gas, the way the gears wound out between shifts. "Austin, it is you!" I cried. I sprang off the bed and raced to my window, reaching it just in time to see the red glow of a tail light vanish into the overgrowth that hid the driveway to the Barnes House. A moment later a shadowy figure emerged out of the tall weeds. It scurried across the street and across our yard, disappearing behind my mother's hydrangeas. My heart raced with excitement as I fumbled with the fasteners on the bottom sash, finally managing to undo the locks and raise my window. The rush of sudden cold from outside stung my cheeks and eyes, but I ignored it as I slithered into open space. "Austin, I called in a stage whisper. His head popped up when he heard his name and he eased out from behind the bush. Keeping his body pressed against the house, he began working his way under my window. "You don't have to hide," I whispered down at him. "Mom's in the living room watching the news. I heard the television when I went to the bathroom." He paused, shrugged and stepped into the yard so he could look up at me. For a silly moment I thought of Romeo and Juliet but the sober expression on Austin's face wiped it away. "Austin, what are you doing here?" I whispered down to him, concerned. "I thought you were on your way back to school." "We need to talk," Austin called back. "I need you to sneak out. Nobody can know I'm here." "I can't, " I groaned wanting to be next to the boy I loved more than anything, to hold him and him me. "I got into trouble today. I'm grounded, My mother's watching every move I make. She even took my phone and unhooked my internet connection." "Well," Austin said after a thoughtful pause, "what if I sneaked in?" "How would you do that?" I asked. " You can't come in the front door, or the back." "I was thinking of your window," Austin said, "I'm sure you have a ladder." "Yeah," I said, wondering why I hadn't thought of this myself. "My dad has one. He uses it to clean the gutters. He keeps it behind the shed, covered with a plastic tarp." "I'll be right back," Austin said. He sprinted off, disappearing around the corner of our house. I eased back inside my room clearing the way for Austin. My cheeks were icy and the cold had seeped into my room but inside myself, I felt warm. What ever was troubling him, Austin hadn't abandoned me. He was here, and I would soon be holding him in my arms. I heard the rattle of metal just before the ladder struck my windowsill with a thunk. "Sorry," Austin called from below, followed by the creak of rungs as they accepted his weight. I held my breath. There was no way we would get away with this. My mother had to have heard the noise and would be busting into my room any minute-- unless... I hurried over to my bedroom door and twisted the doorknob into locked position. When I turned back toward the window, Austin was topping the ladder, stepping into my room. The next moment he was sweeping me into his arms. I pressed my head against his chest, willing myself not to cry. "You came back," I said. "I thought you were leaving me forever." "I had to see you one more time before I do go," Austin said. "You're leaving." I wasn't sure I could stand to lose him twice in as many days. He sighed. "I can't stay. The school will be calling my dad when I don't show up tomorrow. They don't officially receive students back until Monday but my dad made special arrangements with some of the faculty, so they could supervise me until classes begin again." His face hardened. " But I'm not going back to that school, and I'm not selling my bike. Most of all, I'm not giving you up. My dad with just have to get used to the idea of us being together. When I leave here, I'm going to Chicago, to my Aunt. I can stay with her until I get things straight with my dad. As soon as I do, I'll be back." "You promise?" I asked. Austin smiled at me. "Yeah, I promise." Hearing Austin say he wanted us to be together filled me with excitement. Even if he would be gone for a while, he would be back, and that was what was important. I raised myself on my tiptoes to kiss him, then paused. "Why don't you stay here tonight," I said. "I don't know," he replied nervously. "I really need to get on the road, before they miss me at school." "It's dark," I argued. "And cold. You can leave early tomorrow. As soon as it's light outside. They're not going to be looking for you that soon." "What about your mother?" he asked. "Didn't you say you were grounded or something. She's going to check on you sometime." "I locked the door," I said. "She'll have to knock. If she does, you can hide in my closet until she leaves, which won't be long. She's really pissed at me... she can hardly stand the sight of me...so... will you stay... tonight?" He didn't reply. Instead he straightened, placing his hand on his chin in a comic pose, his eyes twinkling mischievously, as if considering something wicked. "Come on," I laughed, taking his hand. "You know you want to. Besides," I added, leading him to my bed, "we have some business to finish." We fell on to the mattress with our arms locked around each other. Austin pressed his lips against mine as I drank in all the deliciousness of his maleness. We were breathing hard as we continued to kiss and lick at each other, our hands exploring each others bodies. I locked my legs around Austin's thighs as I pressed myself against the hardness growing between his legs. I felt a warm moisture spill into my panties, sending me into a sexual frenzy. I wanted him in me and I wanted it now. I worked my hand between where our hips ground against each other and tugged down the zipper of his jeans. Then I began working his member free. It was hot and hard, almost sending me into tears that I couldn't free it fast enough. Meanwhile Austin was busy helping me out of my jeans. Working them down to my knees, he tugged down my panties. We were almost there when a dark thought crossed my mind. Tomorrow was Saturday, the day Brett and her family were due back to Clarksville. If Swanson hadn't been successful and Brett released the Eden documents to the world, would Austin still want me when learned the truth? "Even if he doesn't are you going to keep the truth from him?" Practical Alex whispered in my ear. "How can you lie to someone you say you love?" "I'm not lying," I replied. "I'm just not telling everything." "You're letting him believe something about you that's not true," said Practical Alex. "And that's the same as lying. That's not how you treat someone you care about." I jerked back, recoiling from the accusation and at the same time knowing Practical Alex was right. Austin sensed something too. "Is everything all right?" he asked. "Yeah. Yeah, everything fine," I said, though I knew it wasn't. "Where were we?" I reached out for him but the fiery desire, blazing within us moments before, seemed to have cooled. Austin took my hand and gently lowered it. "I think we should wait," he said, hoisting up his jeans, fastening them. "What?" I still wanted him. "I love you Alex. I know that now," he said pulling my panties back in place, then helping me with my jeans. "I love you enough I don't want anything to mess with that love," he said. "I think if we went any further right now it would be a mistake and I don't want to lose you." He gazed at me, his beautiful eyes pleading for me to understand. "Fine," I said. "But would you hold me. I really need to be held." Austin reached over and took me in his arms. "It's going to be okay," he said, rocking me gently. With his arms around me, my head pressed against his body, my mind circled back to the question that had applied the brakes to our almost love making. Should I tell Austin the truth? If I didn't, I would have to live in continual fear he might find out some other way. But more importantly, Austin would never hide anything from me. Didn't he deserve to be treated with the same honesty. I sighed, of course he did. If I truly loved him I had to tell him the truth, even if it meant once he knew, he might not want anything to do with me, ever again. -Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue- "Austin," I paused to take a breath. This was going to be difficult. "Austin, I need to tell you some--" There was a knock on my bedroom door. Austin and I tensed. "Alex, may I come in?" The voice was Mrs. Gartman's. The doorknob rattled. "Alex, are you in there?" "Mrs. Gartman," I whispered. "Who?" Austin asked, in a low voice. "Shelly's grandmother," I said. "You've got to get out of here," I pushed him in toward the window. "Alex, open the door," Mrs. Gartman called from outside, her voice sounding impatient. " You can come back in after she leaves," I said helping him onto the ladder. "Until then watch and wait. I'll open the window when it's safe." "Alex, open this door," Mrs. Gartman demanded, rattling the knob with enough force I thought she might shake the lock loose. "Coming," I called back, I closing the window as soundlessly as I could and then lowering the blinds. I made my way to the door and released the lock. The door swung open and Mrs. Gartman charged inside, her face flush, her lips pressed tightly together. "I was beginning to wonder if you were going to allow me in," she said, forcing herself to smile. "Did you forget you promised to stay with Shelly tonight?" "No, I...I...was asleep," I said fishing for an excuse. "That's why I took so long to answer... when... you knocked." I looked past her into an empty hallway. "Where's Mom?" "She's resting, dear," said Mrs. Gartman. "I found your mother very upset about what happened at the mall. She had been crying. I took her into the kitchen and made tea. We talked and I suggested she get rest and let me take charge of you for the weekend. You'll be staying with me until Sunday night. She also insisted you are not to go anywhere with Shelly and no phone or internet. But just between me and you," She said in a low voice as if we were partners in this benign conspiracy, "I think I can find a way for you and Shelly to have a little fun." "Are you packed or do you need a few minutes?" she asked. "You won't need much. Just an extra pair of jeans, shirts and underwear. I have toiletries, toothpaste and the like at --" "I need to check on my mother," I said. "Your mother's resting, I told you that," said older woman, her voice terse. She paused, tensing her shoulders. "Pack your bag, honey," she said, her voice softer now more controlled. "I know you're concerned, as I would be in your place, but it's best to do as I say. Believe me, I have only you and your mother's best interest in mind. But remember, I have a granddaughter to look after as well and she's alone right now. I need to get back to her." "I don't believe you," I said, my voice rising. "I think you're lying. I think something's not right." "Listen to yourself, dear," said Mrs Gartman, keeping her voice level, pacing her words. She began to move toward me, one hand dipping into her purse. "I declare you're becoming as hysterical as Ann." I dodged to the side as she closed in on me and lunged for the door. "I didn't want to do this, Alex," she said from behind,"But you haven't given me a choice." Suddenly an arm, surprising strong, slipped round my neck, jerking me back as a damp cloth, pressed over my nose and mouth. Then everything went dark. The first thing I was aware of was the steady vibration beneath me, punctuated by an occasional, jarring thunk. I was lying on something soft and narrow. I reached down, to find the floor covered with a course carpet. The vibrations were stronger here. I opened my eyes and for a moment, the world spun and I feared I might throw up. Then things slowly settled into place. I was in the back seat of a car. My over night bag sat on the floor beside me. Voices drifted from the front seats. "I told you everything will be fine." The voice was Mrs. Gartman's. "We're doing it this way because we have no other choice. What's important is I've planned this very thoroughly. There might be questions afterward, but none we can't answer." "I still contend we could have simply taken the documents and removed the girl's hard drive. We would have been done with all of it," said a second voice, this one male and one I had heard before. I tired to see who it was but the drivers seat blocked all but the back of his head,. "We didn't need to add these extra risks to cover up our experiments." "The girl is a liability, and has been since the day we released her from the lab. I warned you then something like this could happen. She's too curious. She asks too many questions. I admit, one would have thought enduring a transformation like to one she experienced should have left her cowed, weak and unsure. It certainly would another male robbed of their manhood. But she appears to have found a strength in it. Unfortunately, this will be her undoing." "It might be ours as well if we go through with this," said who I now thought of as voice number two. "What happens when the girl's mother notifies the police her daughter's missing? There will be questions. How are you going to explain your presence at the house?" "Have you forgotten Bradley Conrad? What a resistant personality he had and yet the Amobarbital cocktail you slipped into his sports drink preformed exactly as we designed it to do, well enough to allow us to lock him safely away. I slipped a little of the same combination of drugs into Ann's tea, not as much as you gave Bradley--we don't want her bonkers--but enough. I suggested I was never there before reminding her Alex was behaving very strangely and then for her to sleep. When she wakes, she'll remember arguing with her daughter but not me. And when she discovers Alex is gone, she'll think the girl ran away." "And when she calls the police? If they want to talk to you?" "I don't know why they would, but if they do --I'll say I talked to Alex that morning about spending the night with my granddaughter. She agreed to staying over and I was supposed to pick her up at five. When I arrived no one answered the door. I assumed they 'd made other plans, so I went back home." The two voices fell silent, apparently having said all there was to say. I closed my eyes and tried to place where I'd heard voice number two but that wasn't going to happen. The heavy dose of whatever Mrs. Gartman drugged me with clouded my brain. I could barely remember my own name. I gave up on the voice and I let my thoughts drift to Austin. What was he was doing right now? Was he still hiding in the shadows watching my window, wondering why I hadn't opened it to let him back in? I was pretty sure hours had passed and he'd given up on me. Suddenly, I missed him terribly and wanted his arms around me. Then another thought struck me. I'd been fucking kidnapped! I might never see him again. A strong jolt bounced me into the air and I squealed. "I believe our little charge is awake," said Mrs. Gartman. She leaned over the seat so she could stare down at me. "I'm sorry we woke you. The road to Pineville is littered with potholes and Charles is not the best of drivers." Charles? Charles, of course! Suddenly everything clicked. "Dr. Swanson!" I cried, oddly pleased I'd figured it out. "Hello, Catherine," Swanson said. "It's so nice to see you, again. Did you have a nice rest?" I ignored the question. "Where are you taking me? And where is my mother?" I asked. "Your mother is fine," Mrs Gartman said. "She's at home taking a very restful nap. We gave her a little something to put her to sleep long enough for us to get to our destination. Nothing harmful, just a sedative. She'll sleep for a few hours." "What about me," I continued, "where are we going?" "Just a little ways down the road, dear. Not far. You'll see." "Why?" I asked, miffed she hadn't really answered my question. "We have business there, dear," Mrs. Gartman replied. "What kind of business?" "Let's just say there is something that needs a little adjusting." "You're talking about me aren't you," I said. "Now why would you think that?" Mrs. Gartman asked, but her amused tone told me I was right. "Because I heard what you said earli--," I broke off swept up in a sudden flash of insight. How could I have not seen this before. "You've...you've known all along haven't you," I said, my thoughts racing, everything starting to make sense. "You mean that you began life as a boy?" asked Mrs. Gartman "Yes, dear." "And you knew because you're one of them. You helped do this to me. I thought "Sammy" was my uncle but you were only using Walter. You're the real third member of the Rat Pack" Mrs. Gartman smiled, nodding her head like a teacher would to a prized student, who's solved a complex equation. "You were the ones that gave Bradley the virus," I went on. "You made it look like he got it from his dad but it was you." "We were behind all of it dear," Mrs. Gartman said. "If you could only appreciate all the effort we put into getting you here, all the bribes and threats that were required to convince the university it was in their best interest to eliminate your father's department, forcing him to take the position in Clarksville. And then, once you were here, how to infect you in a way that looked accidental. We entertained various scenarios, including planting some of the vials of virus in your fathers car so, you could "stumble" upon them. We were working out a way of doing that when Charles overheard a phone conversation between Dr. Conrad and his son. Conrad had switched his phone to speaker because he was sorting through some papers and wanted his hands free. Charles walked by just as Bradly complained to his father about this new boy from Sacramento flirting with his girlfriend and how he wanted to teach the boy a lesson. Well, Bradley was referring to you of course. We discussed it and decided to let young master Conrad do what we seemed unable to do. A little Amobarbital in Bradely's sports drink coupled with a suggestion of how to deal with the situation that involved particular vial plus where to find it and everyone lived happily everafter. Truly serendipity, wouldn't you say, dear heart." "But why me?" I asked. "Why did you go through all that trouble when you could have used any boy in Clarksville?" "Because dear, you were the prefect specimen. The DNA samples Walter took proved that. If the final strain would work on anyone it would be on you. Any one else would have been hit or miss it would work. Remember we weren't sure the virus was perfected and we had to get it right the first time." She paused and shook her head, her face taking on a wistful look. "All of our wonderful work-- I mean look at yourself child, you are the result of a beautiful miracle," She paused to study me, from the loftiness of the front passenger seat. " We could have done so much more- Lord knows I dropped enough hints. I even gave you a reason to accept your newly acquired girlhood." "That's why you were always talking about serendipity, so I would believe it was meant to happen," I said. "And I did. But it was a fucking lie." "Not a lie, dear," Mrs. Gartman corrected. "A kindness. I offered you something to believe in to ease your transition. I even trusted you with my most precious possession, my grand daughter. Yet it was all for nothing." "It was because of you, you fucking little bitch, that we're in this situation," She hissed, her face distorting in sudden anger, her fingers hooked and rigid like claws. "The damage you've done with your constant nosing around instead of falling in line." For a moment, I thought she might leap over the front seat and rip open my face. Then she stopped and took a breath. "Well," she said, her voice calmer, her hands relaxing, "that will all change soon." Before she could say more, the car slowed. I was momentarily forgotten. "What's going on Charles?" Mrs Gartman asked Swanson. "We're nowhere near Pineville. Why are you slowing." "I think we're being followed," Dr. Swanson said. "That's impossible," said Mrs. Gartman, her voice uneasy. Forcing muscles partially numb from the drug to obey me, I managed to raise myself up enough to peer out the rear window. Sure enough, a single headlight glowed a little distance behind us. Who ever it was matched Swanson's speed, slowing as Swanson slowed, keeping the distance unchanged. "It's the police," I said. I doubted my bluff would scare them enough to release me but it felt good to hit back, even if it was only with words. "They know what you did. I bet my friend called them. And now they're coming to arrest you." "Friend?" Said Mrs. Gartman, concerned. "What friend? You were alone in your room." "No I wasn't," I rushed on, buoyed that my words were having an effect. "I had someone over. I sneaked them in because my mother grounded me (this was true). They climbed out the window when you knocked but they saw everything. They know what you did." "What do you think, Charles?" Mrs. Gartman asked worriedly. "Could this be possible?" Swanson didn't answer. Instead he steered the car to the road's shoulder and stopped, switching off the lights. "What are you doing?" Mrs. Gartman asked, alarmed. "Answering your question," said Swanson. "If they are just another car on the road, they'll drive past. Once they'