The Journal of Mark Trewidden Final Part
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October 26th 2012
I had a good session with Jenny earlier. She knows that I am writing this
journal and reads what I have written, so here goes Jen.
I stripped right down and Jen and I gave me a thorough examination. My
boobs are definitely undeniable. My aureolas have expanded and darkened.
My nipples are noticeably larger. They are so sensitive when we were
examining my boobs I found the sensation very enjoyable. I found that I
was also getting a tingle in my groin that was not centered on my dick.
My boobs were now big enough to have a bit of bounce. They were sensitive
and tender all the time. I am still wearing soft vests directly against
my skin. Well to be honest to myself, they are girls camisoles. Jenny has
suggested that I start to wear a bra, but I can't bring myself to do that
somehow. If they grow any more, I shall have no choice.
My face looks softer than it used to. We have always looked very similar,
almost like twins instead of second cousins. I am now starting to look
more and more like Jen. Jen said that if we wore the same make up, we
would look even more similar. Too far, no.
I used to shave at least four or five times a week, most days, in fact.
Now I am shaving once a week and the growth is quite downy. The hair on
my body has become finer and the hair on my head is growing fuller and
faster. I was going to get a buzz cut, but Jen persuaded me to hold fire.
I think she is going to broach the subject of me dressing like a woman,
but nothing has been said yet.
My waist was never fat but whatever surplus there was, seems to have
coated my bum and hips. The feeling that I had that I was sitting on a
cushion, has become stronger. I am either going to have to buy American
men's jeans (bigger in the arse) or start wearing women's.
When I started my gym routine today I was referred to as miss several
times. I could not hide my boobs in gym kit. I am going to start running
tomorrow. Thinking about that, maybe Jen is right about a sports bra at
least.
My crown jewels have gone down in value. My balls have shrunk and my ball
sack has tightened up. My dick is still capable of getting an erection,
but it is smaller than it used to be. I have changed my behaviour with
Jen when we have sex (yes I know you are reading this). I play with her
more and there is a lot more caressing and kissing. I am using my tongue
a lot more and thoroughly enjoying it. Jen is playing with my breasts and
I am finding that quite wonderful.
I know that I am no longer the stud that I used to be. Our sex life is
still as active but different. I suppose that if I can't satisfy Jen any
more, she will have to find solace elsewhere. I won't be able to hold it
against her. I will be very sad though.
(I am not going anywhere. I love you and we can adapt together. There are
always dildos. Love Jen)
October 27th 2012
Went for a run this morning and shortly afterwards took Jen with me to
get some sports bras. She persuaded me to get some plain cotton bras to
wear the rest of the time. She wanted me to get a sexy bra, no way.
My supervisor for my masters asked me outright today whether I was
transgender and if it was still alright calling me Mark or whether I
would prefer a different name. I didn't think she was allowed to ask
questions like that. She was very flustered when I said that I was not
transgendered and Mark was fine.
October 28th 2012
Wore the sports bra when I ran and it was a blessed relief. My hair is
long enough for a pony tail now, just, so I wore it that way. When I
caught sight of my reflection in a shop window, I looked like a tall slim
woman, scary.
November 1st 2012
I went to see the specialists today. They put me through the scanner, X
ray and micro sound. The conclusion was that my bone structure had
changed. My pelvis had widened and it looked somewhere between a normal
man and a normal woman. They were speculating that it would continue to
change. The skull and jaw had not changed, but I had not had a strong
male skull and jaw shape anyway.
They could see no change in my internal organs and they were still
bemused why I was converting testosterone into estrogen, they were also
bemused by the change in the behaviour of my testicles and the shrinkage
of my prostate. I had admitted to them that my ejaculations were now much
less than they used to be.
The most interesting information was the tests that they had done on the
microbes in my gut. These included microbes that they had not come across
before. It was their theory that it was these microbes hat had created
the change in the hormones and the result had been that I was currently
going through female puberty.
The killer was that they had no idea how to reverse things. If they tried
to kill off the bacteria, it might do me serious harm. I may now be
dependant on them. If they did kill them off, it was probable that the
changes already made to my glandular output were permanent.
Their tests of the material in the pot indicated that it had been the
source of the bacteria. They had tried to revive the bacteria so that
they could do more tests, but without success. The residue of the
bacteria was now in a secure lab.
The message from the specialists was, wait and see what further changes
occur. Bugger!!!!!!!
Mum and Dad have not seen me since early September. They know about the
problem, but I think they will get a shock when they see the changes.
November 4th 2012
Got back from mum and dad's last night. I was right they were shocked.
They are both educated professionals, so I would have expected a reasoned
response. Mum hugged me and realised that I was wearing a bra and that
there were boobs in the bra. At first she accused me of wearing falsies
and the demanded that I remove my top down to my underwear so that she
could see.
I was embarrassed to do it in front of Dad, but I did it. They both stood
there speechless, while I got dressed again and then the barrage of
questions started. For some reason Mum assumed that my sexual preferences
had changed and that I would be getting a boyfriend.
Dad was more concerned about whether I was going to be able to reverse
the process. I tried to answer all their questions but most of them I did
not have answers for. Dad was most concerned about what they should tell
the family. I told them that Jen's side of the family already knew most
of the story.
Mum eventually quizzed me about wearing women's clothes. She seemed
disappointed when I said that I had no intention.
It was fortunate that my younger brother is away at Newcastle university.
I am not looking forward to telling him what is happening. Mum can do it.
At least the rents know what is going on for real now. They were both
interested in how my studies and research are going. I could assure them
that all is OK.
Bloody annoying today, been called miss three times and whistled at when
I was running. I even had someone mistake me for Jen. (You should be so
lucky- Jen).
November 10th 2012
I went running with Jen two days ago. She took the mick about my jiggly
bum, very cruel. I watched her bum and it did not jiggle anything like
mine. She said that it was the stretchy, ankle length bottoms that she
was wearing, they held her bum firm and comfortable. She promised to lend
me some, to try out.
Yesterday I tried on a pair and they were lovely and supportive. They did
show off my decreasing package, though. I could not understand what Jen
was laughing at until I looked in a mirror. I had my boxer shorts on
under the stretchy material, they looked ridiculous. Jen suggested that I
wear a pair of women's pants underneath. She had a couple of new pairs
that she had not worn. They were actually very comfortable and with a
longish T shirt worn loose, there was nothing to see.
Running yesterday and today has been much more comfortable. I bought two
pairs of these things. They are like thick stretchy tights with no feet,
but in a very smooth material. Much to Jen's amusement I bought some
women's pants to wear underneath.
I have been mistaken for a woman more frequently. I do not know what to
do. Jen has suggested that I start dressing androgynously. She says that
now my boobs are getting more difficult to hide and my hips and bum have
changed, I am looking more and more like a bull dike. She says that if
the changes do not reverse, I would be better starting to present more as
a female.
I do not like the idea at all.
(Coward, take the chance to be taken for the superior sex - Jen)
November 15th 2012
I spent more time with the specialists today. I am starting to think that
they are not really trying hard to reverse what is happening to me. They
are keen to measure and test all the time.
I was concerned that the last time my diminishing testicles slipped back
into their cavities, they did not come back down. That was over a week
ago. They did not seem worried. They did a scan and informed me that they
had migrated close to where ovaries would normally be. As far as they
were concerned my testicles had morphed.
I got quite pissed off with them when they suggested that they try to
harvest the microbes that seemed to have been linked to the changes in
me. They want to see if they can create a treatment that will help males
become females. I have refused. The three people who we discovered in the
Scillies all seem to have been ritually sacrificed. I am reluctant to let
that path open up again. Jen agrees with me.
(Too true - Jen)
The latest information that they have given me, is that my brain has
changed. The corpus callosum has grown as have the Broca and Wernicke
areas, they could not be sure about changes in the deep limbic system.
They were not absolutely sure, but they thought that there might have
been a thickening of the cortex. It would appear that I have lost little
or none of the male differences. I have however developed some of the
female brain characteristics. At least I have gained something.
(Hey your boobs are lovely and you do look very like me now. That means
you are very lucky. - Jen)
I have noticed that I have been much more emotional and certainly more
aware of others feelings.
(You sure about that? - Jen)
My research seems to be going OK except for the behaviour of my
supervisor, who keeps staring at me and losing the plot. I may ask for a
new supervisor.
November 19th 2012
That was the bloody limit last night. I went into the union bar for a
drink and got chatted up by a woman (not that attractive) who thought
that I was a woman. It took me a while to realise her mistake and when I
explained that I was male, she thought that I was taking the piss out of
her. It got a bit heated. Her last comment was about dykes in the closet
pretending to be male.
(Told you - Jen)
Cheryl
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