The Journal of Mark Trewidden Final Part
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The Journal Of Mark Trewidden Part 4 free porn video
January 10th 2013
I have decided to go to the lab again. It is over a month since the last
time. I need to check up on the changes that are continuing. I have not
been aware of any further physical changes, other than a slight increase
in boobs. Looking back at this journal at the start of December, I have
changed mentally.
I think I have started to accept that my future is female. There does not
seem to be a way back to where I was. I think that I need to start
exploring a female future. There is no way that I can pass as male in any
convincing way. I could bind my boobs and wear male clothes, but my body
shape is clearly female. My face has softened. I need to change my
papers, driving licence, passport etc. I may as well register myself as a
woman.
If I do, I can't continue to call myself Mark. I need a new name and I
have no idea. I will get Jen and her Dad's firm to start the legal
changes. What name shall I take?
(How about Cynthia or Gladys, maybe Anastasia - Jen)
January 14th 2013
Went to see the lab, they were delighted to see me and went through a
whole bunch of new scans and tests. It appears that my changes have
stabilised. My hormone levels are completely normal for a female. My
prostate has nearly shrunk away. My hips have not changed much in the
last 6 weeks. My brain shows characteristics of both males and females,
lucky me.
It is clear that I am a potential goose that lays the golden egg. They
want me to continue with them so that they can do more and more tests and
write more and more papers. Even without my permission, they have tried
to replicate the virus and microbes that affected me. Thankfully, they
have been unsuccessful. I would not wish to be the cause of an epidemic.
I asked about the possibility of removing my dick and replacing it with a
vagina. I am by no means convinced that it is what I want to do. I have
never wanted a vagina, but I am effectively a eunuch as I am. Jen says
that much fun can be had with a vagina and I would be happier being able
to function one way or the other. She also said that having a vagina did
not necessarily mean that I had to change my preferences to men, bloody
good job.
The lab mob said that not only would they be able to fast track me to a
sexual reassignment, but they would like to try for a complete sex
change, with a womb transplant, if one became available. With the change
in my pelvis, they are excited about the possibility that I could be the
first person, born male, to give birth naturally.
They are so tunnel visioned. It does not strike them that I have no
desire to have a womb. I does not strike them that I have no intention of
having sex with a man, no intention of getting pregnant and no intention
of becoming a mother. No, no, no.
There is also the small (?) issue of the fact that I would have to go
through menstruation if I had a womb, no thanks.
I chatted through the results of the meeting with Jen and she is strongly
in favour of me having sexual reassignment. She says that I will just get
frustrated with a non functioning dick, that I will start to think like a
eunuch. She also said that I should not dismiss the womb transplant out
of hand. She suggested that I might go for a vagina first and then decide
later about a womb transplant, if it became possible.
Much to the relief of my Masters supervisor, I have joined the LGBT
group. She is also a member and now that she sees me as openly
transgender, she is more comfortable with me. She is also hugely relieved
that I have decided to use the name Frances or Fran. I am now going to be
Frances Mary Trewidden. Jen's dad has already started getting the legal
changes underway.
One residual problem is men, since the New Years party, several of the
men with whom I indulged in mutual groping and snogging, have been
pestering me. A few have asked for dates and a couple have just suggested
sex, it is quite irritating and I am having trouble convincing them that
I am not interested. I was drunk and stupid and that is the end of it.
The approaches by two of the women are far more interesting but Jen is
keeping her eye on me.
(Too true, you wanton slapper - Jen)
January 19th 2013
Bloody ridiculous, the world has gone mad. Jen and I are both good
athletes and keen at sports. We are both competitive and one of our
favourite sports is badminton. Last year, I was club men's champion and
Jen was women's champion. We also won the mixed doubles. Jen and I were
both losing semi finalists in the county championship and mixed doubles
champions.
When we came to enter this year's competitions, a bloody great row broke
out about my participation. Some of the comments made by both players and
committee members were anything from stupid to downright hurtful. I can't
help what has happened to me. It is a bloody good job the national
association set out a clear policy last year.
It is clear that I will have to compete in the women's competition and
the two of us will be women's doubles. It is going to be interesting
going against Jen. My strength has reduced and my balance has changed. I
am still not completely comfortable with myself physically. My boobs do
make a difference as do the changes in my pelvis. I am starting to get
the hang of the changes though.
Because of the unpleasantness of some people, I nearly walked away. Jen
helped me to see that most people were ok and I should not be put off.
(I will thrash you in the singles - Jen)
I am finding it very strange being called Fran. I look around to see who
people are talking to. Mum is still calling me Mark more often than not
and she is not the only one.
January 26th 2013
Jen is teaching me how to put make up on. It feels really silly putting
paint on my face. I do like some of the things you can do to your eyes.
Jen has shown me how to make my eyes stand out more. I still have a habit
of rubbing my eyes when I am reading and I end up looking like a panda.
Jen has also been working on my posture and mannerisms. I have got into
the habit now of being more upright and not slouching. It is easier on my
back in the long run and being upright makes me feel more positive. It is
quite fun making the most of my boobs. If I go for a soft line where my
nipples are evident in the line of my top, I can completely put a man off
whatever he is doing.
My research is going well, but it is noticeable that I am getting some
patronising responses from some men. I can now sympathise with women who
get irritated by mansplaining, if only they realised how stupid they were
being.
People, including me, are getting used to the name Fran. It is rare that
anyone, other than my mother, calls me Mark. I am treated as part of the
female tribe and included in everything. One thing that I have noticed is
that women's conversation is quite different when there are no men
present. I have not yet got into the way of women's conversations, I
don't talk enough. I find myself just listening most of the time.
Some of the things women talk about quite shocked me to start off with,
but I have become used to it now.
I am becoming a little more adventurous in my clothing and I have even
worn a chain and pendant round my neck and dangly ear rings. The ear
rings feel nice as they brush my neck. Jen says that I should wear rings
and a bracelet or two.
How do I feel at the moment? OK but I am finding sex frustrating, I want
to give Jen more, but I am learning. I know how to give her a pleasant
experience with her boobs. It is easy to learn when you have got your
own. Maybe if I had my own vagina, I could be more expert with Jen's.
(Go for it girl -Jen)
February 3rd 2013
I am now the proud possessor of a driving licence and passport in the
name of Fran Trewidden. This time last year, I was just a normal man,
doing man things in a man way and having lots of man fun with my lovely
Jen. Now I am labelled female and have a female name.
I am proficient at putting on make up, I can select an outfit to match an
occasion. I have even had my finger and toe nails manicured and painted,
bloody silly idea, though I must admit, painted toenails are fun.
February 8th 2013
Bloody bollocks and shit, I lost to Jen in the club badminton singles.
She has had a huge grin on her face ever since and keeps calling me
loser.
(Loser -Jen)
February 12th 2013
The lab contacted me this morning, to say that they could arrange for a
sex reassignment operation, paid for by them, within the next six weeks.
I have not had enough time to think. Do I really want my own fanny. The
operation is painful and takes a long time to recover from. I have no
interest in sex with men, so why do I want a fanny. I can still get some
pleasure from my dick. I can't give any pleasure with it though.
Jen says that I would be tidying up what is now an anomaly and that I
would be giving myself a possibility of future pleasure. She also said
that I might change my mind about men, unlikely.
February 19th 2013
Life is good mostly at the moment. My research is going well and I have
written the first small part of my findings. I am enjoying being part of
the women's crowd. I am finding my voice more and I find advice from our
crowd useful. I have so much to learn about women's stuff.
My dick has been making me miserable. It is bloody useless. I don't even
stand up to pee now. I have started to dislike my dick. That is a feeling
that I would never had expected a year ago. It is a source of
embarrassment in changing rooms. It is making me so self conscious and I
hate it.
Jen has been winding me up by suggesting that we go on a naturist holiday
in the summer and that I need to get stuff corrected before then. I did
some research, and a new set of female bits is not guaranteed to work
satisfactorily. I got in touch with the lab and they gave me the contact
of the surgeon who would do the job.
The surgeon said that with my unusual circumstances, he was very
confident of success. He said that I should end up with a sensitive
clitoris that should be very capable of being a source of orgasms. He
said that the labia should be sensitive, the vagina self lubricating and
he was confident that I would be capable of orgasm through vaginal
stimulation. He also said that I should find sex more of a sensual
experience. He went on to say that not all sex reassignment patients were
as lucky. The virus had done much of the job for me.
What have I to lose apart from my dick and a few weeks of pain as I
recover.
February 24th 2013
Jen has been taking the piss. I beat her in the county badminton
competition and I am now in the quarter finals. I think that is why she
has been so mean. We played our match at our home club and I was crowing
over my victory when the subject of mixed doubles came up. It is still
possible to enter the county championship as the mixed doubles starts
later.
Both Jen and I would like the chance of retaining the title. We have this
new guy who has joined the club. He is a nice guy and a very good
badminton player. I thought I might get him to partner me, but Jen had
also had the same idea. We have both partnered him on club nights and we
both ended up asking him the same night.
I thought Jen was being a bit obvious, coming on to him. I thought that I
would not let her have a free run so I went and sat with him for a chat.
Jen can just about out boob me but I kept my shoulders back and a smile
on my face. In the end, Jim decided that he would avoid warfare by
refusing both of us. It was probably for the best.
Afterwards though, Jen started poking fun at me. She accused me of having
the hots for Jim. He is a nice guy but I am not in to men. Jen said that
when I was chatting to him, I kept playing with my hair, looking up from
under my eyelashes and my nipples were sticking out like organ stops. She
said that they were three clear indications of sexual attraction. She
wanted to know when I intended to shag him.
Not fair, I was only trying to get him to partner me at badminton. Jen is
convinced that I am starting to look at men. Not in the slightest, I am
not gay.
(That would not make you gay - Jen)
February 25th 2013
Jim phoned and asked me if I would go to the theatre with him. Jen has
not stopped laughing. It is a play that I had planned going to see and
Jen does not want to go. I was planning to go on my own.
Jen has tried to persuade me to go. She said that it would be good for me
to do something as a woman outside my comfort zone, when I am sober. I
don't know what she means by the last bit unless she is referring to the
new year's party. She has pestered me to say yes and Jim is a nice enough
guy.
(And big butch and sexy -Jen)
I suppose it might be nice to go with him as long as he is clear that it
is not a date.
February 28th 2013
Great play, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Jim was good company, he did not
try to make any advances, so that was OK. The only embarrassing thing was
that, somehow we ended up holding hands and I did not know how to
untangle without making a thing of it. A pleasant evening all round.
Jen said that I spent ages getting ready for my "date". She also accused
me of selecting my sexiest underwear and picking an outfit that showed
all my charms. I was just dressing appropriately for the theatre.
(?? - Jen)
Charlize
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