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[Author's note: I have to give a few very special thanks:

To an anonymous reader who caught that nine years wasn't enough for everything that's happened here.

To Tom, who caught that the Chevy Volt wasn't introduced until 2011, making this story impossible – the Volt went back to being an Oldsmobile Cutlass Cierra (from a Honda Prius, which is impossible since Toyota makes the Prius ... but I digress).

To Bruce, who caught me calling Emily Melissa in one spot, and who rightfully couldn't understand why Elaine would bother coming up with David as Emily's Daddy in another – which required some careful editing, I might add. I'm still not certain it's well-explained, but I tried.

To all of you: thank you for reading and thank you for taking the time to keep me honest!]

I paused, my hand on the hospital door, the strength fleeing from me. I didn't have the strength to open that door. I no longer had it in me to turn a simple door handle. I no longer had the strength to even stand, my knees trembling and buckling. I just couldn't ... couldn't face her ... not right at that moment.

Instead, I leaned my forehead against the wall next to that door. I allowed the cool, almost cold wall to prop me up and I tried to draw that coldness into me, into the broken pieces of my heart. I wanted it to strengthen me, to freeze me, make me hard and numb against the world. I knew that without that coldness, without that numbness, I was going to fall apart. If I didn't let that coolness in, I was going to fall apart, a wreck of a man.

Not for the first time in the past 24 hours, I thought about how I'd gotten here. I thought about what had led me to this place. I considered the past, considered every decision I'd made for the past 12 years plus, and wondered if there had been any of them I could've changed that would have allowed me to come to this same place and been happy instead of as miserable as I was right at that moment.

Of course, it was all about a girl ... well, a woman now, but she'd been a girl back then. There is nothing in life that can swing a man's emotions, moods, his very being so much as a female. I wonder if anyone truly understand how much they control us. Maybe, just maybe, women and gays have it right. Although the thought repels me, personally, maybe the only way to true happiness is to fall in love with a man.

I met Elaine in the 11th grade, about 12 and a half years ago, in a creative writing course of all things. We were from completely different, non-intersecting worlds; I was a jock playing football, basketball, even running track while Elaine was your stereotypical nerd. She wore rather thick, horn-rimmed glasses and non-descript, baggy clothing hiding a body that, while fairly voluptuous, was at least 40 pounds over-weight while I was lean and hard-muscled, proud of my pecs and abs and preferred a certain fitness in my dates. She was a brain, always raising her hand or blurting out answers, always knowing the lessons and proud of the fact that she knew. I ... well, I was a straight-A student, but I wasn't as fanatical about it, hiding my brains behind my façade of quips and laughter; I couldn't fit in my world and be a brain, I would've been laughed out of my clique.

Elaine wasn't my type and I never would have dated her if it hadn't been for that poem. Our creative writing class was on poetry, each one of us had to write a poem and then present it to the class. I remember everything about that day as if it were frozen in time. I remember the faces of the class, laughing, the face of the teacher in consternation trying to get the class under control. I remember the sunlight streaming in, lighting up the room. I remember it all falling away as Elaine began to speak, her voice tremulous at first but gaining power and confidence as she bared her soul.

Sunlight streams through a pane of glass,

Falling and heating my bared breast,

Covering me with its warm caress;

My fingers trace the beams first pass,

Courage to my heart it does invest,

Thankful of its kind address.

I welcome the love of my only friend,

Its rays my only lover's kiss,

Its love my only passion;

When darkness intrudes at this world's end,

Its touch is the only thing I'll miss,

Its light my only fashion.

If there was a sound when she finished, I didn't hear it. I admit the poem wasn't much, though I still remember its words years and years later, but it was the way she said it, her voice filled with confidence and sadness and so devoid of hope. She touched my heart that day as no one has ever touched it before or since.

I pursued her after that. Anyone who could feel that level of emotion, passion, despair ... she was a drug to me. A fascination that I just couldn't shake. My heart beat with her words and, quite possibly for the first time in my young life, I looked beyond the physical, looked beyond her outer appearance, and gazed at a person's soul. I realized how vapid and empty my relationships had been until then; her voice, the way she spoke, it reeked of substance and I was hopelessly hooked.

I pursued her and I caught her. Oh, she didn't want anything to do with me at first. She thought I was leading her on for some nefarious purpose ... and I was, but not for the nefarious purpose she imagined. I felt a hole opening in me and I needed her to fill it.

It took me 5 months to break her resolve and we dated, exclusively, for the rest of that year and the next. I took punishment for it, catcalls within my clique, laughter behind my back. I was called names – chubby chaser, fat lover, others that I don't need to repeat – and I just looked at them, angry, upset. Sometimes, I fought. Strangely, I wasn't upset with what they called me but that they were being disrespectful of the woman I had grown to love.

She ... she fell in love with me. We didn't have sex at first – I think she was still worried that I just wanted to fuck her and leave her – but eventually I wore her down. We had been inseparable for nearly 3 months; I didn't want anyone else and, for whatever reason, she didn't have anyone else. I think it was that loyalty that finally got to her, that finally made her see that my intentions weren't just to do a fuck and dump. I bought her things ... flowers, a book on poetry, chocolates ... even little stuffed animals. Honestly, though, I think it was when we went to the annual school carnival together and I didn't try to hide her, introducing her to all the world gleefully as my girlfriend, which finally brought home the fact that I was right where I wanted to be.

We made love that night. I had fucked before, screwed a bunch of bimbos whose names I could barely even remember. I didn't fuck Elaine. We made love.

I will admit that it was a bit difficult for me at first; seeing her less than toned body, watching parts jiggle that shouldn't have. Her moans, though, reminded me instantly of what I saw in her in the first place: her soul. It didn't matter what she looked like, not to me. What mattered was what she held within. The body could change but I didn't think the soul could ever change.

Maybe I was foolish, all things considered, but that's how I felt.

I brought her to her first non-self-induced orgasm, my lips caressing her lower ones, my tongue lapping at the sweet nectar of her lust. Her pussy was surmounted by a trimmed but full set of pubic hair, but it was soft and it tickled my skin as her hips began to thrust and my tongue invaded her. Moans became screeches as my lips found her elongated clit and I finally brought her over the edge when I wrapped my lips around her protruding clit and lightly flicked my tongue at it.

I took her virginity that day, a bonus I hadn't really even considered. It hurt, of course. She wasn't my first virgin and they had all hurt but I tried to make sure she was right at the plateau of orgasm before the pain brought her down and then I worked as hard as I could to bring her right back up to that plateau, alternating between caressing her breasts with rubbing right above where my cock was impaled within her. After a while, she began moaning again and then her moans became grunts and our grunts mingled into one loud, almost never-ending cry of satisfied love.

We were never apart after that. I met her at the end of her classes or she met me at the end of mine. We walked, hand in hand, together down the halls of high school. At night, as often as we could, we snuck away to be together whether it was in the backseat of my car, a friend's house or even our houses if the family was away.

I wanted it to last forever but I think we both knew that it couldn't. I got a few scholarship offers but the one I wanted most of all was a full-ride athletic scholarship to the University of Michigan. I wanted to study medicine, like my father had, and the University of Michigan was one of the best in the countries. Elaine, of course, got a full-ride academic scholarship to Harvard, where she wanted to study law. I tried everything I could think of to change her mind and she tried everything she could think of to change mine. It was our first real argument.

The day after graduation I did the only thing I could think of to get her to agree to be with me.

She was with some of her friends but her eyes lit up when she saw me and the smile on her face made a cloudy day burst with light. Without a word, she ran to me and slipped into my arms, hugging me.

I looked into her eyes as I pushed her back, her face knotted with curiousity. Then I dropped to one knee.

"Elaine Stremming, will you marry me?"

The look on her face was a mixture of happiness, incredulity and an over-arching look of regret.

"David, oh my love David," she replied. Instead of answering she pulled at me to get up. I wanted to stay down, wanted to wait for her answer, but she was insistent.

She looped her arms through mine, leaning into me, as she pulled me away from her house.

"I love you, David," she whispered. I could almost feel the tears in her voice. "You can't keep me like this. One of us would regret it. Either you'd regret coming with me or I'd regret coming with you and then the blame would start and the fights and pretty soon we wouldn't even like each other."

"But I love you, Elaine," I said thickly, my own tears rolling down my cheek. "I can't even imagine life without you. The thought of us apart ... it's tearing me up inside."

"Me, too," she said softly. "But ... it's only for a little while... 4 years. We can call and write, remain friends and then, if it was meant to be, see each other afterwards, fall in love again and be together for the rest of our lives."

I argued, she argued ... but in the end, she won. I knew she was right, of course. Deep down, where I didn't want to hear it, I knew that what she said was the truth. I just didn't want to listen, didn't want this to be the end.

It was, though. She refused to see me after that, saying it would be too hard. At the end of summer, in August, I left for U of M and football camp, and a month or so later, she left for Harvard. We called at first, almost every day, texted even more often. We wrote e-mails and talked about our days, our lives, our classes. I told her about football and how much harder college ball was than high school. She told me about her four roommates and shared funny stories about them.

September turned to October, October to November and the calls became more infrequent, the e-mails shorter and less personal. I couldn't get away for Thanksgiving, of course, thanks to football but my parents came out with my sisters and that was fun. I remember sending her an e-mail about their visit ... but I never got a reply.

I saw her briefly at Christmas; we kissed, on the cheek, and hugged but I could feel the wall between us now. I could feel the sense of being apart and, somewhere inside me, I cried. She asked me out on New Year's Eve but I had to leave just after Christmas, we had a bowl game on January 1st and I had to be with the team.

After that, e-mails tapered down to once a month, phone calls too ... and then, in May, they stopped altogether. I knew she'd moved on ... and I knew I wasn't ready to.

I did though. I went back into party mode but with an eye towards someone who could complete my soul like Elaine did. I dated, slept with some girls, but never found one that completed me like Elaine did. At least, that's what I thought. There were many days where I started to wonder if what I had with Elaine wasn't just imagined.

I never saw Elaine after that. I never tried, the pain would hurt me just too much if I saw her with someone else. Instead, I re-focused myself on football and classes. It was tough, but I maintained an A average despite drifting just into excess. I righted myself, thanks to a short talk with my dad who saw where I was headed, and managed to keep things going.

One year drifted to the next and at the end of four, I found myself with a degree in Software Engineering (summa cum laude – I found that Biology just wasn't for me ... I still enjoyed the class but I no longer wanted to become a doctor) and as a late 1st round draft into the NFL, picked up by San Diego. I thought about continuing on to my masters and maybe even a doctorate – becoming a doctor that way – but figured I could take the money the NFL was throwing at me and finish my education at the end of my NFL career ... which would be hopefully 10 or 15 years down the line.

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I was asked by a friend if I would come over and take care of a hard problem he had one morning. I new what his problem was and told him I would get dressed and be over in a short time. I went into the bathroom and got in the shower and then took a nice hot shower shaved my cock and balls and also did my legs and chest. I got out the special shower head and then used it to make sure my ass was nice and clean for him and then went into the bedroom and got dressed for him. I first touched up my...

4 years ago
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A Dedicated Father

As Mark Henry was driving around the forested area for looking for hunting violations, his cell phone. It was his daughter, Raine. He answered, “Hey there! How are you?”“I’m fine, dad! How are you?”“Pretty good. What’s up? I’m on patrol.”“I was just calling to say, ‘hi’. I was hoping I could introduce you all to someone special.”“Ahem,” he cleared his throat. “Yeah...Uh...Sure. You know I don’t remember you talking about anyone. How’d you meet him,” inquired the forty-one year-old.“I met him...

2 years ago
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Full Figured Chic Ch 01

Prologue The chains sat heavy on his wrists, cutting deeply into the fragile flesh. His muscles ached. The effort over the first four weeks of trying to escape weighed heavily, exhausting him. Or was it the air? This place — this unnatural place filled with the most vile that life had spewed out of its belly could have that sort of effect on the bones. It could rob a man of all he was, all he stood for, all that was easy, natural and good about him. Now he waited, defeated. The voice taunting...

3 years ago
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My Sister Introduced Me Into The Heavenly World Of Sex

Hello everyone this is my third time I am narrating my personal experiences at iss. I belong to a middle class family and we use to live in small house with 3 rooms, in one room my parents use to sleep and in another we all siblings use to sleep. It all started when I was in my high schools. I will briefly describe about my family I am the only son and I have to sisters both are older to me; one sister is 5yrs older to and another 2 years older to me. Shortly I will describe about how I was...

Incest
2 years ago
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Might as well try part 2

After my last experience with Jesper where he came on my face, I went home the morning after. I said hello to my beautiful girlfriend and lived my day as if nothing had happened the night before. I went to work the rest of the week and went home to my girlfriend every day. I texted with Jesper in the meanwhile as well, mostly about sport, but also talking about things we could do around the weekend. Maybe catch a football game together or a movie. We starting making a list of things possible...

2 years ago
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my first fuck

I am a guy who has always thought of myself as a straight male. I loved pussy and that was good enough, thats before I joined the military. While in the Marines, we would all take showers in a big open room. Guys would get undressed and would casually walk around naked. It was normal to see naked men, sweaty, dirty, walking around in the buff. During the first few months everything was fine. But then I started to notice that something was changing. I kept looking at guy's asses, but mostly, I...

4 years ago
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Forbidden Fantasies

In life there are the things that we do naturally and then there are the things that we are just expected to know not to do. Like for instance, we blink, yawn, eat, sleep, and breathe naturally on our own. No one has ever told you to do these things when you need to; you do them on your own. Now technically no one tells us to procreate on our own. We are just expected to know how to do that on our own. Animals aren't taught, and we as humans aren't "taught" by mom and dad how to do it...

2 years ago
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Andrea and the Artist

Andrea and the ArtistBy billy69boyHe watched her walk by every day as she made her way down the path to the crowded beach. She was strikingly beautiful: a vision, with long brown hair flowing down her back almost to her waist. She seemed to wear a different bikini every time she walked past him, each one of them barely covering her hard body, and accentuating her breathtaking curves. He silently admonished himself for having the nerve to gawk at this young lady who was clearly less than...

4 years ago
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Kathy the Banker

Probably a few words about myself are needed to set the full flavor of this story. I am a bit south of 40, just over six feet tall, no glasses, brownish hair, and I am starting to lose the battle of pulling out gray hairs. I must have a good genetic heritage, for my weight stays around 170, whether I skimp meals during summer months or eat heartily from Thanksgiving to New Year's festivities. I am branch manager at two decent-sized banks in nearby, also decent-sized, villages, and I cannot go...

1 year ago
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Wifes Gangbang

It began like any other weekend party, but ended like no other weekend party. I went to my friends house for cards and beer. My best buddy Mike invited me and two of his co-workers over for some poker. I had never met the co-workers before that night. Once there, Mike introduced me to Tim and Dave and we started playing poker and drinking beer. After several hours of this my wife Jo shows up from her night out with the girls and asks if we minded if she joined our party since all of her girl...

Group Sex
2 years ago
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More Than an Office Romance

Claire was relaxed in a luxurious bubble bath when her mind was wondering. She often had music playing while she spent an hour or two in the bathroom, this time she was listening to things such as Usher – Trading places and Kings of Leon – Sex on Fire, needless to say there was something on her mind, and it wasn’t what she was going to make for dinner that night. For the last two years Claire had been single, she was free from all of the dramas of a relationship but there was something...

4 years ago
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Reverend Jackson

I found myself in the middle of something that I couldn't get myself out. It was one of the things on this planet I dread the most. Church. It was like the ultimate torture for me. I hated having to wake up for that every morning. I didn't like the fact that it was a bunch of old people that just looked around and judged people all the time. I felt like I was going to court minus the cops and the fines and jail time. The only difference was I had to go every Sunday morning. I even tried to...

4 years ago
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A Friend Comes To Visit

This is my first story. I’ve become close to a few people on Lush, the guy in this story being one of them. We tease and play with each other constantly but unfortunately we live far from one another so we can only talk on the phone. I had a dream that he came to visit me and it was hot enough to share with everyone as well as be my first story! Names have been changed, of course. ------------ I rolled over in my bed when I heard my phone ringing. The screen flashed when I hit the unlock...

Masturbation
3 years ago
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She Had an Itch Chapter One

She had an itch. Chapter one. I am sitting in the office of the antique and art boutique that I own with my girlfriend Margot. It’s just after closing time; memories of the past are on my mind also regrets. Regrets for causing pain to a very good man and to a lesser extent to myself. I could feel sorry for myself, but that would be hypocrisy. I have no one to blame but my own cupidity. The scene from three years ago is burned in my memory forever. I can still see Frank coming in the living...

Wife Lovers
2 years ago
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The Sleeepover Chapter 14

by samslam"I'm getting in my car now," Kristina says. "See you in a few minutes.""Bye." I toss the phone onto the nightstand and lay flat on top of my s!ster. "How do you want to play this?" I ask. She looks at me a long time before she answers."I'm not sure I can initiate this, Brandon," she finally says. "I want you to make this happen for me." I lightly kiss her lips."Okay, s!s," I say, gently rocking my cock in and out of her pussy. "We'll just savour this nice feeling without using up all...

2 years ago
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The Rise and Fall of Marcy DentonChapter 3

Marcy had certainly been right about the reception her idea would get from Kirk. He, at first, was appalled at such a plan, but over several days she kept reminding him how much she loved him, how much she wanted to see him satisfied. He, of course, insisted he was satisfied, but she knew better and told him so. Without mentioning anyone specifically, she described the requirements she thought necessary and by assuring him that the woman would provide physical satisfaction only a couple of...

1 year ago
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BangingBeauties Emily Willis Insatiable Emily Willis Wants dick AND balls in her teen ass

When exotic Latina Emily Willis wants something, you can be sure that PervCity will give it to her. And what this kinky brunette wants today is big dick and balls in her teen ass! Yes, you heard that right. This small tits teenager loves anal sex, but today she’s after something extra pervy for her big ass. She’s a bit nervous but has come to the right place. After being worked into a wet tizzy with pussy licking and analingus, she lets loose and gives the kind of footjob, rimjob,...

xmoviesforyou
3 years ago
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The Photographer

Dillon was learning to speak Russian a little better after a week in Kiev, Ukraine. He found the people friendly and helpful, and a larger percentage of them spoke a bit of English than he had expected. Dillon took every opportunity to practice his Russian, freely starting conversations with the accommodating Ukrainians. He focused his efforts on the beautiful young women of the city when possible. They seemed to find the tall and lean American with a camera slung over his shoulder...

2 years ago
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Backyard fuck

Ok guys....I met this guy a few months ago back when I was talking to his friend. so a few days ago I deciede to meet up with him after this party I went too. soooo it was about 5 In the morning and I came by his house and we hung out with him and this other guy I couldnt stand but slept with twice before. So We were.just fooling around I leaned on him let him play with my pussy a little bit And he even sucked on my nipples.then we went into this backyard and..he pulled down his pants put on a...

4 years ago
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Journeys West Chapter 9 Panties and Hose

Chapter 9 - Panties and Hose By Marina Kelly and Monica Rose Editor: Qmodo Mary woke slowly, the night's sleep feeling more like a short nap. She grabbed the first thing in her closet that fit her mood, it just happened to be one of her favorites. No tomboy look today, she wanted Pat to see her at her most appealing. It was a light blue cotton sundress with a sweetheart neck and banded empire waist, with ruffles and pleats that added the perfect feminine texture. It had an...

Historical
4 years ago
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In The WayChapter 2

"Are you sure?" he asked before I could turn the damned thing off. "What the hell was that?" I shouted at him. "She's lying!" He sat there, calmly taking in my reaction. Of course, he could afford to be calm - it was not his wife who had just told a perfect stranger that her husband was fooling around with their daughter. He held up his hands in a placating manner even as I took a menacing step towards him. "You," and I pointed my finger accusingly, "You put her up to it. If that...

2 years ago
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Odd Man in CollegeChapter 07

Like a lot of US colleges the weekend between the third and fourth weeks of April are the annual Spring Scrimmage. This is to demonstrate to the college the condition and skill of the players on the football team. Anyone who’s anything with the college is in attendance, including the members of the Board of Management and the Alumni Association. In preparation for the game several players have been manipulating how they performed for the last few weeks so the right conspirators are on the...

2 years ago
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piss drinking couple

"Do you two want another drink?" he said. I looked at Doris and gauged her state of sobriety. I knew her well enough in the past eleven years to know that she had one, maybe two left before she got drunk and then she was no fun to be around. She complained about her head hurting and eventually went to sleep. I looked at her and told Jim," Well perhaps one more...we both don't drink much and we've almost had enough to get pleasantly warm." " So you aren't one of the hollow leg...

2 years ago
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A housewife or a whore1

Rekha, 23, was what one could call a perfect marriage partner. She could pass for a model any given day. She used to be slightly slim then what she was now but the extra kilos had added more to her charm and looks. The extra kilos were gained at the right places. Anupam, 26, her husband was a land shark. He could make money out of sand. His obsession was to increase his land bank and become one of the top land bank owners of India. With the boom in the land business, he was in alignment with...

2 years ago
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Fair Trade

Once upon a time two brothers were walking in the desert outside the village near where they were born. The older brother Kalik was a strong young man of 14. He was proud to be the head of his family now that his older brothers were off fighting in the war. His little brother, Mustafa, was a spindly 8 years old. His mind was as bright as the desert sun. He could figure things out in a wink which Kalik would never understand in a lifetime. It was a fine, hot morning. The boys were out looking...

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